


the biggest problem in life is miscommunication

by the11thTARDIS



Series: We'll figure it out as we go. [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Artist Castiel, Asperger Syndrome, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Castiel, Awesome Gabriel, Awesome Missouri, Baker Gabriel, Coming Out, Dean thinks Charlie is a man, Depressed Castiel, Depression, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jealous Castiel, Jealous Dean Winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Lisa and Dean are dating but he's still obviously in love with Cas, M/M, Making Out, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Michael is an idiot, Minor Aaron Bass/Dean Winchester, Minor Castiel/Original Male Character(s), Minor Character Death, Minor Charlie Bradbury/Gilda, Minor Dean/Original Male Character(s), Miscommunication, Naked Castiel, Naked Dean, Naomi Being a Dick, Non-Explicit Sex, Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Protective Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Gabriel, References to Drugs, Road Trips, Self Confidence Issues, TW meltdowns, TW self-harm, Tags Are Hard, Then he finds out Charlie is actually a woman and feels very jealous of her friendship with Cas, Unrequited Love, Verbal Abuse, Writer Chuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-07 22:31:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 232,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3185642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the11thTARDIS/pseuds/the11thTARDIS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome when he was 8, since then, life has had its ups and downs, but the only constant in his life has always been Dean, his best friend and roommate. Sure, Dean can be a little infuriating sometimes and he is obsessed with cleaning the apartment, but he always listens to Cas and gives him space when he needs to be alone, he just knows him so well. Maybe that’s why Cas is so deeply in love with the guy (but of course nobody knows).</p><p>Dean has been in love with his best friend since he can remember, but since Cas has always said that he wasn’t born to have a couple, Dean has to settle with being his best friend and keep his feelings a secret. Now, at 23, Dean is thinking about his future, and he has decided that he needs to move on and start meeting new people. </p><p>Basically, this is the story of Cas, who has Asperger’s Syndrome, is in love with his best friend (but is afraid to be a burden so he keeps saying he doesn’t feel interested in people in that way) and Dean, who after years of unrequited love from Cas, has decided to start dating.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stupid Sheldon Cooper

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first work ever, i've always loved writing and making up stories in my head, so i decided to give it a try.  
> Also, english isn't my first language so i apologize in advance for any mistake, this is unbeta'd so any mistake is mine.
> 
> As a person with Asperger's i hate when people stereotype us and think that we're all the same, so i used that as an inspiration to create Castiel's personality. I hope i don't offend anybody with this, and if you have any questions or ideas for this story, please leave a comment.

<< Si alors un enfant vient à vous, s’il rit, s’il a des cheveux d’or, s’il ne répond pas quand on l’nterroge, vous devinerez bien qui il est. Alors soyez genitls! Ne me laissez pas tellement triste: écrivez-moi vite qu’il est revenu…>>

Castiel flipped the last page of his book, and with a smile still on his face he put the book on the bedside table… it was only then that he saw the red numbers on his yellow Lego clock … 4:43 am… “Merde! … I mean… fuck! ... Great Cas, you did it again” he said to himself, it was the third time during the week that he had sworn to himself that he would go early to bed and sleep the amount of hours a normal person should do… and it was the third time in the week that he had failed to his promise… he took off his glasses and put them on the bedside table as well, and after rubbing his eyes really hard, he turned off his lamp.

Sleep didn’t come easily anyway; he knew he needed to sleep during night time, it wasn’t his fault that he was a nocturnal creature, he was resigned to it, In fact, he liked being awake late at night, because everything seemed quieter and simpler, and he felt like his mind worked better at those hours.The problem was, that according to the “social norms”, his habit had always brought him a few problems;he remembered one time, when he was eight, his teacher had called his parents to talk about his behavior, which basically meant, that since Cas didn’t sleep at “his hours” he kept sleeping during classes, he still couldn’t understand why everybody was making such a big deal about it, his classes were boring anyway… that memory led to another memory of the first time they sent him to the school psychologist, and then he remembered the tests ant the pills and… _'oh! Fuck, 5:32 am… great Cas… you’re doing it again... stop thinking!'_... Eventually he fell asleep.

* * *

 

Dean opened the door to his apartment and let Lisa in, “so… this is it… the batcave,” Said Dean, helping Lisa with her coat.                                                            

“Wow… it’s really … not what I expected; it’s pretty clean and… in order”, Lisa kept looking around her, the place was spotless.

“Humm… thank you? ” Replied Dean shyly.

“No, I mean… it’s just that, when you told me you shared the place with your best friend, I imagined… I don’t know, a lot of pizza boxes on the floor and dirty dishes… I mean, sorry it’s just … when you grow up with 3 brothers,” Dean relaxed a little after Lisa’s explanation.

“Well, I’ve always been a little obsessed with cleaning, and Cas loves to order things by color or alphabetically, so… yeah”.

Lisa started to inspect the place, It really was neatly ordered, it wasn’t a big place, next to the door there was a little living room, with black walls, a red leather couch, and a couple of bean bags in front of the TV. Lisa immediately noticed what Dean meant when he told her about Cas’s obsession with order. One of the walls of the living room was covered with movies and videogames meticulously ordered, it was like watching a movie store. The wall behind the couch had framed movie posters and a few pictures of Dean with different people.

Dean continued with the tour around the apartment, they walked through a hallway that had 2 doors on the right and 1 on the left, and next to that door there was an open area, which functioned as dining room and kitchen, that part of the house, was also spotless.

“So… Breakfast” Said Dean, he signaled a chair to Lisa, she took a seat and giggled.

“Breakfast,” repeated her, Dean smiled and turned to the fridge, he soon gathered everything to cook, Lisa just sat there watching her new boyfriend acting like an expert in the kitchen.

* * *

 

Cas woke up to the smell of bacon; he was feeling like shit, he opened one eye and saw his clock, 9:17 am… ' _Great, I only got like 4 hours of sleep'_ , he thought; he stretched, took his glasses from the bedside table, put them on and then, started his every morning routine. Which consisted in 1) rolling to the left side of the bed 2) sitting down 3) taking his notebook 4) writing down his dreams from the previous night 5) complaining about the lack of sleep.

It was a Friday, which meant that Dean was cooking eggs, bacon and pancakes, Cas smiled, he was so lucky to have a best friend like Dean, not everybody could handle living with Castiel (not even his mom could, she left them when he was 12 because of him), it wasn’t easy, he was aware of that, he tried his best to adapt and be “normal” on the outside world, but acting all the time was exhausting… here, at home, he could be himself. Cas was aware that he was drifting off, so, before he fell asleep again, he decided to stand up and face the day.

When Cas opened his door, the first thing he saw was Dean, siting at the table and having his breakfast. The blond boy greeted him with a smile.

“Hi Cas… it’s good you’re up man, I want you to meet someone”.

Cas walked the few steps that separated his room from the dining room, and when he turned to the kitchen, he saw a brunette woman pouring some coffee into a cup. “Hi” said Lisa with a shy smile (Dean had told her about Castiel’s Asperger’s and she didn’t know how to act with the guy).

“Hello… you must be Eliza, Dean’s new girlfriend,” Said Cas with a monotonous voice (he was still asleep and in no way ready to interact with strangers).

“It’s Lisa,” Said Dean, Cas was silent for a few seconds (something in his gut told him that “I really don’t care” wasn’t the ideal answer, so he settled for the second best option).

“I apologize … I’m not very good with names… I tend to mix them sometimes,” Answered Castiel.

“It’s OK… humm… do you want some coffee?” Asked her.

“No thank you Lisa, I don’t drink coffee, it upsets my stomach”.

Everybody went silent after that, the atmosphere was really awkward, what was Dean thinking? Of course it was stupid to try to introduce his new girlfriend to Cas at that hour in the morning, the dude was still asleep for Christ sake.

“Ahemm… Cas, why don’t you sit down and I fix you some breakfast?” Cas smiled and gave Dean a small nod, then he sat at his usual place and watched as his friend stood up to the kitchen.

“I can help you” Said Lisa,

“No, it’s fine, why don’t you sit down with Cas… I’ll handle this”.

Lisa went back to her place at the table, it was obvious she wanted to start conversation, but she didn’t know what to say. Dean moved fast in the kitchen, he also decided to kill the awkward silence again.

“Cas, you look like shit man, did you get any sleep at all?” Cas ran his hand through his messy dark hair, and took a deep breath.

“No, I was about to go to bed but then I saw this post on the internet… a list of different types of books you should read during the year… and one of the options was ‘a book in its original language,’ and then I remembered Dad gave me a copy of ‘the little prince’ in French a few years ago, so I read it,” Dean smiled and kept cooking Cas’s breakfast.

“Man… I told you last week, you need to turn the damn computer off if you want to go to bed early”.

Lisa stared at them in shock, Castiel just told Dean he randomly decided to read a book, in French, in the middle of the night and they were acting like it was something that happened every day. Dean approached the table with Castiel’s breakfast; he passed the plate to his best friend and returned to the kitchen to get more coffee.

“So… You speak French then, Cas?” Said Lisa.

“Yes, I’m also fluent in Spanish and I’m currently learning German,”

“wow” said Lisa. Dean returned from the kitchen and sat next to his girlfriend, he then passed a cup of tea to Cas.

“The guy is a freaking walking encyclopedia, it’s pretty cool,”

“I enjoy learning,” Said Cas with a smile, he then proceeded to eat his breakfast.

The rest of the morning was uneventful, Dean washed the dishes, and the guys (mostly Dean) kept telling stories of their childhood. It was obvious that he was proud of his best friend, and that he was trying really hard for Lisa to like him. Cas, like every time he met someone new, was acting serious and shy, but he tried his best to interact with the couple, everything was going fine, until Lisa said it, one of the **top 10 ‘don’ts’** when it came to Castiel.

“Wow Cas, you definitely are a gifted guy… you know? You remind me of someone, I bet they tell you this one a lot, but I mean is true… you’re like Sheldon from that TV show… The Big Bang Theory, you’ve seen it?”

If looks could kill, Lisa would have dropped dead right there… Cas took a deep breath and lowered his head.

“ Yes I know that show, and no, I am not some over stereotyped character created for people to laugh about the characteristics of my condition, now if you’ll excuse me… I’m going back to bed”.

Cas stood up and before Dean or Lisa could say another word, he locked himself in his room.

* * *

 

As soon as Cas got into his room, he went back to bed… he just lay there, staring at the ceiling _‘what is it with people comparing me to stereotyped characters of TV and movies? ... Stupid new girlfriend, she’s just going to take him away from me… oh god, what am I thinking? Dean isn’t mine… He’s just my friend… my best friend… the one that I’m in love with…’_

Castiel took a deep breath, he was on his way to a meltdown if he didn’t control himself; he hated felling like this... 

 _‘Stupid feelings and stupid girlfriend and ... stupid Sheldon Cooper’,_ he thought.

The only way to avoid the meltdown was to sleep; he was tired, upset, and worried of what Dean could think of him, and with all those thoughts clouding his mind, he let himself drift into sleep.

 


	2. Yes, I am aware of my ‘perfect derriere’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has a little meltdown. The lady next door things Cas has a nice ass and There's a new member at Cas's office, a nice girl called Charlie who fits perfectly with the rest of the team. 
> 
> Also, Dean asks Cas if he wants him to stop seeing Lisa and deep down wishes the answer to be "no", but when has life been so simple?.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So apparently people liked what i wrote... so i'll keep writing, i'm planning on updating regularly, i have a lot of ideas for this fic and also, if someone wants to share and idea or something, well, you know what to do.
> 
> Again sorry for any mistakes, english isn't my first language and i mostly write this after 2 am, when Morpheus decides no to visit me (again) and i give up on sleeping (again).
> 
> I'm adding more characters and also a few more tags, when i wrote the first chapter i didn't know well where i wanted the story to go, but now it's starting to take form. Thanks again. :)

A couple of hours after Lisa’s incident, Dean knocked on Cas’s door, he decided to give his friend space and time to calm down, but two hours were enough, Dean wanted to check on him.

“Cas…Cas c’mon man, open the door” Dean kept knocking and waiting for his friend to answer, after his third attempt he took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Ok Cas, that’s it… I’m comin’ in… I don’t give a fuck if you’re not decent”. Dean waited 5 more seconds but since his friend didn’t answer, he decided to finally open de door.

Dean entered the room a little scared, he didn’t believe that Cas would do anytihing stupid, but sometimes his friend had major meltdowns and could hurt himself without realizing.

“Cas!” Castiel was under a cocoon of blankets, asleep and totally unaware of Dean’s concern,

“God damn it man…” Dean grabbed a pillow and threw it to his friend’s face; Cas woke up immediately and looked at Dean with a combination of not knowing what was going on and being upset.Dean laughed, he loved Cas’s ‘just woke up’ face, he thought it was cute ' _Oh, c’mon Winchester… Cute… really?'_  .      

“What is it Dean?” Said Castiel with a deep voice. Dean sat on a corner of the bed, wanting to give Cas some space,

“Nothing man, I just wanted to check on you… you alright?” Castiel emerged from his cocoon of blankets and passed his left hand through his hair, Dean immediately noticed that Cas’s hand was a little red and swollen.

“Cas… your hand,” Cas looked at his hand, it was a habit of his, sometimes when he got nervous he would do repetitive actions, like flapping his hands or scratching his left hand.

The room remained quiet for a while, it wasn’t an awkward silence, but none of them wanted to say anything, they just were afraid of upsetting each other. Dean knew Cas could win a contest of not talking for hours, so he decided to be the first to talk,

“Cas… I’m sorry man, I told Lisa the basics you know ‘don’t talk shit of Star Trek in front of Cas’ and ‘Pizza is basically religion at our place, never disrespect Pizza’… but I forgot to tell her that you hate being compared to stupid TV characters,” He was trying to be funny to show Cas that he wasn’t upset, Cas just sat there, looking at his friend.

“Well… at least she didn’t compare me to Rain Man,” Said Cas, he knew that answer would make Dean laugh. Dean smiled; at least Cas wasn’t upset with him.

“Hug?” asked Dean,

“No, I don’t feel like hugging, I’m sorry… ” Answered Cas shyly, he wasn’t in the mood for human contact, even if it was with Dean.

“Hey, it’s okay man,” Dean got more comfortable on the bed, giving Cas his space, but still showing his friend that he wasn’t upset for his answer.

“Cas, do you want me to stop seeing Lisa?” Asked Dean, he really liked her, but Cas was an important part of his life, he needed Cas to approve of her and at the same time if Cas said that he didn’t like her, Dean could use it as an excuse to stop dating and keep his life with Cas as it was _‘Gosh, I’m pathetic…’_ thought Dean.

Cas stared at his friend _‘this is your chance Castiel, just say that you don’t like the girl, that you want him to stop dating’_ thought Cas. Dean kept looking at his friend, waiting for an answer.

“Cas?” Castiel was so lost in his thoughts that he forgot to give his friend an answer,

“mmmh… No Dean, you should not stop seeing her just because of what happened, I’m sure she did not mean to upset me,”

“You sure?” asked Dean,

“Of course, Dean. Besides, I think I like her, at least I find her more likable than your previous relationships,”

Dean snorted “oh… c’mon man, Aaron wasn’t that bad,” Cas squinted his eyes, 

“He talked to me as if I were an infant and he kept calling me ‘Asstiel’… He was a douche,” Dean laughed,

“Yeah, he was… but you can’t blame him dude, you do have a nice ass, Cas,” _‘Shit, did I just say that?’_

Cas laughed at his friend’s last comment and threw a pillow at Dean’s face,

“Yes, I am aware of my ‘perfect derriere’… That old lady from apartment 6, keeps telling me about it,”

“OMG! Cas, you have a fan! ... You should marry her,”

“I don’t know Dean, I don’t think I would be able to financially support her and her 12 cats”.

And just like that, both friends started talking and joking.

After an hour of lying on Cas’s bed, Dean looked at his friend’s Lego clock (the one he gave him as a birthday present when they were 12),

“Don’t you have work today Cas?” asked Dean,

“No, I just finished my designs yesterday and sent them to Kevin… they’re calling me today though, they want me to meet Charlie, the new member of the team,”

“Wow… are you ready to make new friends Cas?”

”You know pretty well that I’m never ready for that, but we’ve been talking a lot on facebook and we actually have plenty in common, I’m pretty sure Charlie will be a perfect addition to our work team,”

Cas was showing a lot of confidence, it was obvious that he liked this Charlie dude, Dean was surprised to hear that Cas had been in communication with Charlie, because he hadn’t mentioned it before _‘It’s not a big deal Winchester… is not like he is going to change you for some random dude he’s been talking to on Facebook’._

Just in that moment, the noise of the TARDIS landing sounded next to them, it had been Cas’s ringtone for months, and every time it sounded, Dean still thought a blue box would appear in the room. It was Ash, calling through Facetime, Cas took his iPad from the bedside table and answered the call.

“Hello, Ash,” On the screen, there was a thin guy with a mullet; the guy, Ash, had a beer in his hand and seemed very happy,

“Yo, Cas! … Charlie is finally here, we won’t start with the project until Monday, but you still can come and hang out, you know? Meet in person so it isn't weird to you on Monday,” Ash took a sip of his beer while waiting for Cas to answer,

“Yes, I would like that, I’ll be there in an hour,”

”Okay, see ya in a few then… Hey Dean, didn’t see you there man,” Dean got closer to Cas, still minding his personal space,

“Hi Ash, how ya doin’?” asked Dean,

“Fine man, a lot of work but hey, at least we work doing what we like so… it’s cool,” Dean laughed and waved at the screen,

“Well, hope to see you and the guys soon, Ash…” Ash interrupted Dean,

“What? You’re not commin’ to our party, man?” Dean laughed,

“Nah, dude… promised Bobby I’d help him to paint his kitchen… he would kill me if I don’t show up… ‘sides, bunch of geeks drinkin’ beer and talkin’ computer stuff, isn’t really my kinda party… too hardcore for me,” Ash took another sip from his beer,

“Well, your loss, man… say hi to Bobby, ok?” Dean smiled,

“Will do man, see ya,” and with that, the call ended.

* * *

 

Dean was in the living room trying to find a nice movie in Netflix, while Cas got ready for his meeting; Dean couldn’t help but to smile… The fact that Cas was working with Ash and his friends still seemed a bit weird to Dean.

Dean and Cas met when they were 8, the day they became neighbors. Dean and his brother moved to Sioux Fall, South Dakota, to live with their uncle Bobby, and Cas was the youngest of the Novak clan, the family next door. The boys soon became best friends, they went to the same school and were actually in the same classes, that was until Cas turned 12, when his mom decided to abandon them and his dad took him out of school, after that, Cas was homeschooled. They remained best friends, but Dean eventually had to make friends at school, after a few years he met Ash and Benny, they were pretty cool and nice to Cas, so Dean made sure of keeping that friendship.

Dean was in the middle of his flashback when he heard Cas walking to the Living room,

“I’m leaving now Dean… see you in a while,” Dean turned to say goodbye to his friend, but he forgot how to talk when he saw him standing by the door, Cas was wearing black jeans, a pair of gray vans and a blue flannel… _‘Oh crap, he looks so hot,’_ Cas stood there, waiting for an answer,

“Dean?”…

“Oh … Yeah, sure… I mean… Want me to drive you Cas?” Cas smiled to his friend,

“There’s no need Dean, I can walk, it isn’t that far,”

“Nonsense man, I have to go to Bobby’s anyway, remember?”

“Okay Dean, in that case… yes, I would like a ride”.

If there was someone ( _‘Yeah she has feelings and a personality, thank you very much’_ ) Dean loved (apart from Cas) it was his baby, a black impala 67 that used to belong to his father. So, naturally, driving his baby with Cas by his side was one of Dean’s favorite experiences. The drive was calm, they remained silent most of the time but it wasn’t awkward, they were just enjoying each other's company; suddenly Dean felt the cold air of November drift through his window,

“Jesus… it’s kinda cold outside… did you bring a jacket Cas?” Cas smiled,

“No mom, I forgot to bring one… It is fine though, I’m not that cold,”

Dean laughed; they arrived pretty soon to the office, Cas was about to open the car door when Dean stopped him,

“Cas… you should take my jacket man, just in case,” Dean took off his black leather jacket and gave it to Cas, he hesitated for a few seconds but at the end gave a small nod and accepted it,

“Thank you Dean”. Cas put on the jacket and then got off the car. When Dean saw him wearing his jacket he stopped breathing _‘OMG… you’re pathetic Winchester, start driving before he thinks you’re being a creep’._

Dean began to drive, and while he drove away he couldn’t resist looking at Cas one more time through the rearview.

* * *

 

‘Kraken’ was the name of the little business Cas had with his friends, they worked designing web pages, computer games and mobile apps mostly. Ash didn’t go to college, but he was a genius so he was in charge of the codes and programming; Benny was a publicist, and he was pretty good at it. Then there was Kevin, he was their intern, and was a natural with programming too… and Castiel, who was in charge of the art and designs tough he was as good with programming as the rest of the team.

Cas opened the door of the two-story building, there was no one in the little reception, so he assumed everybody would be upstairs. When he entered the studio, everybody was having a great time. Kevin and Ash were playing Mario kart and Benny was talking to Charlie. When Benny saw Cas he immediately turned down the volume of the music.

“Hey Cas, brother… good to see ya” Charlie was smiling like an idiot, she was really happy to finally meet Cas in person, she gave a little wave with her hand,

“Hi Cas” Cas smiled, he appreciated the fact that Charlie didn’t try to hug him or invade his personal space, she knew about his Asperger’s and since the beginning she tried her best to make things easy for Cas.

“Hi Charlie, It is nice to see you”.

* * *

They talked for a long time, about a lot of things, Charlie was a perfect addition to the team, she was really good with computers and she was also a big geek, like the rest of the gang. Cas was having a great time, but it was getting late and he wanted to go home.

“I’m leaving now guys, I had a wonderful time,” Said Cas as he stood up and put on Dean’s jacket,

“Oh, c’mon Cas, stay a little longer, we’re having a great time,” Cas hesitated a little, but in the end, he decided to leave anyway,

“I am sorry Charlie but tomorrow is Saturday, which means I have to spend the whole day with my dad and my brothers… if I don’t go to bed early, I wont be able to wake up in the morning,” Charlie gave a small nod,

“It’s fine Cas, I’ll talk to you later, okay? Remember you promised to show me all the geeky stores in this town,” Cas smiled and said goodbye again to everyone.

Cas walked to his apartment, it wasn’t far from the office, he enjoyed walking while listening music, and he also preferred cold weather. Cas smiled to himself, he turned around to check there was nobody watching him and then he hugged and smelled Dean’s jacket… it was stupid, he knew, but he loved having the jacket on, he felt safe and warm and it smelled like Dean _‘even for me, this is a new level of weirdness,’_ thought Castiel.

* * *

 

When Cas arrived to the apartment, Dean was already there, sitting on the couch, watching TV,

“Hey Cas! ... How did your meeting go?” Asked Dean, Castiel closed the door behind him, put his keys on the bowl next to the TV an then plopped himself on his bean bag,

“It was great Dean, Charlie is pretty nice, a great addition to the team … Also, Kevin beat Ash in FIFA and now he owes him a lot of beer,” Dean laughed,

“The day when someone beats Ash at a videogame finally has come,” Cas smiled,

“That’s exactly what Benny said,” Dean kept surfing the channels, trying to find something good on TV,

“Did you enjoy your evening with Bobby?” asked Castiel,

“Yeah, it was nice… you were right about the paint… the new color makes the kitchen look bigger,” Cas smiled, Dean ended up finding Sharknado on TV,

“Awesome!… Feel like watching a pretty cool bad movie Cas?” Cas turned to watch the TV,

“Normally I would, but tomorrow is Saturday, I need to wake up early…” Cas stood up, Dean didn’t feel like watching the movie anymore if Cas wasn’t going to be with him, so he turned the TV off, he stretched and dropped the remote on the couch,

“Yeah, you’re probably right… I promised Bobby I’ll get early to the shop, Garth is gone for the weekend, so we’ll have a lot of work”.

Dean got off the couch and turned off the light of the living room then both started walking to their bedrooms.

“Good night Dean,” Said Cas before entering his room.

“Night Cas,” replied Dean.

“Oh… wait… here, your jacket… thank you,” Said Cas, he then took off the jacket and handed it to Dean.

“Sure thing, Cas,” answered Dean, after that, they both went to bed (and if Dean slept hugging the freaking jacket and smelling it… well, that was nobody’s business).


	3. Did you just attack me with a tortilla?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas spends the day with his family. Gabe is an awesome brother and Cas is having a great time but all that is clouded when Michael's actions trigger a Meltdown in him. 
> 
> Cas is full of self loathing and Gabriel doesn't know what to do. Dean finds out and wants to kick Michael' ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I thought i would be able to update sooner this week but i had a lot to do... i believe it's the universe laughing at me, i started to write this fic because i was bored, without a job and without projects. As soon as i started writing a lot of projects showed up... so yeah... anyway, i'll try to update sooner this time, probably Saturday or Sunday. 
> 
> As always, thank you very much for reading this, remember english isn't my first language and that i write this mostly after 2 am. Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> PS: I'll add a few more tags, this chapter has TW for verbal violence and depression. I tried to keep the angst at the minimum but hey, Cas is a guy with Asperger's in this fic, and we aspies can drown in self loathing and depression pretty bad.

The Novak’s home was a big beautiful house located on the “rich part” of the city, it was white, with huge windows, in the middle of a wide yard, surrounded by a lot of flowers. They hadn’t always lived there, Cas spent most of his life being neighbors with Dean, but when he was 17, his father’s books became a big success and after a few months, Chuck Novak bought the house for him and his sons; Cas technically never lived there, it was about the same time he moved to California for college, and his oldest brother, Michael, only lived there for a few months, before getting a job as an accountant in a very important company in Pierre, South Dakota. So basically, the only inhabitants of the house were Chuck Novak and his son Gabriel, who owned a successful bakery in the city.

When Cas moved back to Sioux Falls, and decided to get an apartment with Dean, instead of returning to his father’s house, Chuck was a little reluctant, he had a difficult time leaving Cas have a normal life, so one of his conditions to accept the deal was that every Saturday Cas had to spend the day with his family, which meant spend the entire day eating, talking about his week and watching movies with Gabriel and his dad. Michael wasn’t always part of the plan, he mostly showed up once a month, and Cas hated those days, today, to his bad luck, Michael was a confirmed assistance.

* * *

 

Cas opened the front door of his father’s house, he was pretty sure he was still asleep, but he was on time for breakfast and that was the only thing that mattered. When he got into the kitchen, Chuck was at the table, reading a bunch of papers that seemed important. Michael was there too, sitting at one side of the table by himself, checking his phone.

 “Wow, if it isn’t little Cassie… honoring us with his presence,” Said Michael with a smirk.

 Chuck left the papers on the table and turned his head up to see his son, he removed his glasses and greeted Cas with a smile.

 “Good morning son… Sit down, Gabriel is almost done with breakfast, ” Said his father, then he proceeded to empty his cup of coffee. 

“Yo! Cas… I’m making blueberry pancakes, they’re almost done,” Said Gabriel, who was standing by the big island in the middle of the kitchen, next to him, there was a pile of pancakes; the place smelled incredible.

Castiel took his usual place at the table, facing his father; everybody was silent, Cas got distracted looking around, to him it still seemed a little weird to be in this house, the Kitchen was huge, five times bigger that the one they had on their first house, it was equipped with the most sophisticated items there were (Gabriel had insisted on that when he decided to become a chef), it always looked so clean and organized, Cas couldn’t help but to remember that time when Gabe told him _‘listen man, this Kitchen is as important to me as that old car is to Dean… the kitchen is my “baby”…’_

“Do you want some coffee Cassie?" Asked Michael.

 Cas squinted his eyes; he had lost count of the times he had told his brother that he didn’t drink coffee anymore.

 “It’s CASTIEL, or Cas… and no, thank you brother, I don’t drink coffee, it upsets my stomach,” Replied Castiel, trying not to raise his voice.

“Oh, that’s true… God forbids our little CASTIEL… the most special member of this family, gets a tummy ache,” answered his brother, he had an evil look and was trying too hard not to laugh.

“Enough!” Said Chuck firmly, casting a hard look at his eldest son.

Gabriel choose that exact moment to break the tension, he put one plate with the pile of pancakes and another with a fruit salad on the table.

“Breakfast is ready,” Said Gabe, then he sat at his usual place, facing Michael, and turned his attention to Castiel. 

“There’s black tea in the pantry if you want some,” Castiel smiled and stood up, he prepared his tea the way he liked, while the rest of the family started with their breakfast.

 

* * *

 

They were having their breakfast in peace, suddenly the sound of the bottle of syrup being squeezed broke the silence; Gabriel was soaking his pancakes in syrup.

“Oh my God… you are disgusting Gabriel,” Said Michael. 

“Your face is disgusting Michael,” answered Gabe. Cas smiled and gave his favorite brother an approving look.

“So… Cas, tell us… how was your week?" Said Chuck, trying to change the subject and calm the atmosphere at the table.

“It was fine, thank you,” Replied Cas dryly.

 “Care to elaborate…?” Said Gabe. 

“Oh, well… I just finished my designs for that page we are working on, I met Dean’s new girlfriend… We hired a new programmer at Kraken, her name is Charlie and she is very nice… and… oh, yeah, I read ‘le petit prince’… I think that’s it,” answered Castiel. 

“What about you Gabe, how was your week?” Asked Chuck to his son.

“Dad, you see me everyday, you already know what I did during the week,” Replied Gabriel, while attacking his breakfast. 

“Yes son, but your brothers don’t ... so please…”

“Okay… sold a lot of bread, cookies and cakes… hmm, had a fight with my girl, reconciled with my girl, bought a new pair of shoes and went to the movies,” listed Gabe; Chuck gave a nod.

“Michael?” Asked the eldest Novak.

“Well… I had a lot of job at the office, played golf with my boss, and bought a new suit,” 

“Geez, aren’t you a keeper, brother dear?” Said Gabriel, making fun of his brother.

Michael ignored his brother, he poured himself another cup of coffee and turned his attention to his father.

 “What about you dad… How was your week?”

 “I have a meeting with my agent in a couple of hours, apparently they want me to go on a little book tour through the country, we’re going to discuss that,” Chuck didn’t like going on tours, he hated leaving his house and staying away from his sons (specially Cas) for long periods of time.

“Do you know which cities are you visiting?” Asked Cas. 

 

“No, I –“ The sound of Chuck’s phone interrupted the conversation “Sorry boys, I have to take this,” Said their father then he proceeded to leave the kitchen.

 

The three brothers remained in silence; they kept to their business ignoring each other (well mostly Cas and Gabe ignoring Michael).

 

“Boys, I’m sorry… my agent just moved the appointment, I have to be there in an hour, we’ll have to postpone our family time,” Said Chuck with and apologetic face while he entered the kitchen, he grabbed Cas’s arm and Cas turned to look at his father.

 

“I’ll call you tomorrow and tell you everything about the tour, ok?" 

 

“Okay dad” Said Cas. He knew his father wanted him to talk more, but he didn’t know what to say, so he smiled and gave a little nod.

 

“Well, I have to hurry up, see you guys latter,” Said Chuck, leaving the kitchen in a hurry.

 

As soon as Chuck left the Kitchen, Michael stood up as well.

 

“Well, there’s a lot of things I would rather be doing than spending the rest of the morning with you two, so… goodbye, see you later,” Cas and Gabe just sat there, watching his brother leave.

 

“What do you say Cas?  … We clean up the kitchen and then go upstairs for a marathon of Doctor Who?” Asked Gabe as he started to pick up the plates from the table.

 

“I like that plan” Replied Cas, helping his brother.

 

* * *

 

Gabriel and Cas, were at the TV room, they were both lying on the couch, Gabe had put his pajamas back on and Cas was wrapped in a fluffy blanket, after watching 3 hours of Classic Doctor Who on Netflix, Both were starting to feel hungry again, Gabe stretched until his back made a loud ‘pop’.

“Fuck… I’m getting too old for this shit” he joked. Cas smiled and passed his left hand through his hair, Gabe noticed a red mark on it.

“Cas, I know is not my business, but… any stressing situation during the week?” Said Gabe, pointing at his brother’s hand.

“You are right… it is not your business,” Said Cas with a serious tone.

“Cas… is it because of what happened with your car?  … Or is it this new girl you met, Charlie? Is she getting you nervous?” Gabe was trying to sound casual, but he was really worried about his brother.

Cas took a deep breath, this was one of the reasons why he didn’t like to spend a lot of time with his family, they would start making questions.

“Charlie is a very nice girl, I think we are going to become good friends, but no, I am not romantically interested in her,” Cas took another deep breath, “as to what happened with my car, I decided I’m not driving anymore,”

“What? Why? ... Cas, little bro, you can’t leave a stupid car accident mark your life forever,” Said Gabriel with a worried voice. 

“It wasn’t a stupid car accident Gabriel… I had a freaking meltdown while driving and I forgot how to drive… I could have died!! … A-and I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” Cas was beginning to get frustrated, so Gabe decided to drop the subject.

They remained in an awkward silence for a couple of minutes, until Cas broke it.

“Anyway… that’s not why I have this,” Cas lifted his hand and fixed his eyes on it, “I met Dean’s new girlfriend and things didn’t go too well.”

“Wow,” Gabe wanted to know more about that issue, but he didn’t want to disturb Cas, it was easier to ask Dean later.

In that moment, Gabe’s stomach made a loud noise and they both started to laugh.

“Guess we better go downstairs and cook something before my stomach learns to talk,” Gabriel turned off the TV and stood up.

That’s why Cas loved his brother, because he never pressured him and didn’t act as if Cas was 5 years old. Cas threw his blanket at the couch and got up too, he was starving.

 

* * *

Cas sat by the island at the middle of the kitchen; he was playing with the straw of his lemonade. The kitchen smelled incredible, today Gabriel was cooking tacos.  Gabriel handed Cas a plate with a couple of tacos.

 “What do you think señor?” Asked Gabriel, waiting with an expecting look for his brother to try the food.

 Cas grabbed a taco in his hand and gave it a big bite… it was delicious.

 “Hmmm… Buenísimo,” answered Castiel, Gabriel laughed.

 “I’m going to assume that means ‘awesome’ and that you love them,” Gabe grabbed a couple of tacos to himself and sat next to his brother. Castiel smiled.

 “It actually means ‘very good’ … as always your cooking is incredible Gabriel,” Answered Cas, in that moment Michael showed up at the kitchen.

“Do I smell Mexican food?” Said the oldest brother; he approached to his brothers to grab some food to himself.

 “What… no hard shell? What kind of tacos are these?” He asked with an upset expression, still he took three tacos and put them on his plate.

 “Real tacos are made with tortillas, which are soft… I’m a chef, not taco bell,” Said Gabriel mocking his brother.

 “Whatever.” The Novak brothers ate in silence for a couple of minutes, Michael didn’t want to admit it, but the food was pretty good.

 “Where did you get tortillas, anyway?” Asked Michael,

 “I made them, is not that hard actually,” Answered Gabriel feeling proud of himself.

 “Did you know that the tortillas you made are actually ‘flour tortillas’? ...They use wheat flour to make them, the original tortillas are made out of maize and they actually have a big variety of maize in Mexico… there’s even a red one and a blue one… in some parts of the country, they have blue tortillas and-“

 “OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP FORREST!” Michael interrupted his younger brother; both Gabe and Cas stared at him in shock.

 “Nobody gives a fuck about your stupid facts Castiel! ... Can we have five minutes without you acting like freaking wikipedia?” Cas turned his head down, he didn’t know what to do… was he really that annoying?

 “You are so fucking weird… I can’t stand being in the same room with you and I only have to see you once a month… No wonder why mom left, I don’t blame her, she had to see your retarded face 24/7…”

The three remained silent, the kitchen was filled with awkwardness and Cas was feeling guiltier with every second that passed.

“I… I am not hungry anymore… thank you for the meal Gabriel…” Cas stood up and ran upstairs, he wanted to lock himself in his room and stop being a burden to his family.

Michael resumed eating as if nothing had happened. Gabriel was still in shock. His oldest brother was an asshole.

“What is wrong with you man? ... What the fuck was that? ”

“He is annoying, he acts like a child and I can’t stand it anymore. I am tired of his freaking facts and his weird tics and Dad acting like he’s going to break,” Michael was spilling all his hard feelings against his youngest brother; his face was red with anger.

Gabriel couldn’t take it anymore, he had to leave the room or he could end up killing his brother, he stood up from his chair and in a random spontaneous act, threw a tortilla at his brother face. 

“Did you just attack me with a tortilla?” Asked Michael even more upset.

“Flour tortilla, bitch,” Answered Gabriel before leaving the room. He needed to check on Cas.

 

* * *

 Cas curled himself on the bed and started to scratch his hand, he was feeling miserable. _‘I am not going to cry’_ he kept repeating to himself. Michael was right… he was a burden, an annoying waste of space… 

_‘ Why do I even have friends? ... They probably just feel pity for me,’_

His mom left because of him, he had forced his dad to live without the love of his life, his brothers to grow up without a mother, it was his entire fault. 

“Cas?” Gabriel was sitting by his side, he didn’t know what to do, most of the times, when Cas was having one of his “episodes” he didn’t tolerate human contact; Gabe wanted to hold his brother, hug him and make him feel better, but he chose to talk instead.

“Michael is a dick, you know?” Gabe continued, Cas didn’t even look at him.

“Cas, baby bro… he’s the only one who thinks that way, ok? ... Nor dad or me care about your eccentricities. Nobody is perfect; I’m addicted to sugar and can’t go a week without breaking up with my girlfriend. Dad forgets to eat and shower when he’s writing a book… and Michael, well, he’s the most boring, self-centered person that has ever existed in history…”

Cas knew Gabe was trying his best, but he just couldn’t stop feeling like shit,  _‘maybe if I stop talking so much, that would make me less annoying… nobody cares what I have to say, I just rant and give stupid facts that no one cares about… that’s it, I need to stop talking, stop being a burden,’_ He was panicking, he was so scared.

“Cas? You’re scaring me man… Cas? Are you breathing? ... Oh, for the love of God Cas… Breathe! ...” Cas’ face was bright red; Gabe didn’t know what to do, he grabbed his brother by the shoulders and shook him really hard, it was only then that Cas looked at his brother and started to breath pretty fast.

“Shit, Cas… dude, calm down, I need you to breathe with me ok? Try to match your breathing with mine,”

Cas knew his brother was trying to help, but he couldn’t concentrate, he had to use all of his will power to make his brain work, but finally he did it, he matched his breathing with his brother’s and calmed a little (he was still upset about the incident with Michael, but at least he was breathing normally now); eventually, Cas allowed Gabe to move him to a more comfortable position on the bed, he was so mentally tired, he even allowed Gabriel to cuddle with him… he didn’t care about the exterior world anymore, he just wanted to shut his brain and sleep.

* * *

 

When Cas woke up, he was exhausted; his hand was swollen and was covered in a thin layer of blood, every muscle of his body ached and his head felt like it was filled with water. 

Gabriel entered the room in that moment; he smiled to his brother and got closer to the bed.

“Cas, you’re up… how are you feeling?” Asked Gabriel with a worried look.

“I want my room,” Said Cas with a hoarse voice, even his throat hurt.

Gabriel got confused; he sat on the corner of the bed and looked at his little brother,

“Cas, this is your room,” Answered Gabriel with a calmed voice.

“No, I want MY room, at home,” Cas’s face was expressionless, his eyes fixed on his left hand.

“Want me to take you to your place? You don’t want to wait for Dean to pick you up?” 

“I want to go now, please,”

Gabriel’s heart broke right there; in that moment, Cas was like a scared little kid, and everything was Michael’s fault. Gabe didn’t know what to do, he just wanted to help his brother. 

“Ok, grab your stuff, I’ll drive you home”

Cas stared at his brother for a few more seconds then he just gave a little nod. 

* * *

  

Dean opened the door of the Novak residence; he was basically part of the family so he just let himself in. A delicious smell caught his attention and he followed it to the kitchen; Gabe was placing a tray with cookies on the table when Dean came in.

“Hey Gabe, cookies smell great… Where’s Cas?” Asked Dean leaning on the doorframe.

“You should probably sit down,” Said Gabriel with a serious face.

“Jesus Gabe, you are scaring me, man… what happened? Where’s Cas?”

“He’s at your place, I drove him a couple of hours ago, I tried to call you but you weren’t answering the phone,”

“It ran out of battery and I forgot the charger… why did you drive him anyway?”

“Michael…” Gabriel Didn’t need to say more, in that moment Dean went full ‘mama bear’, he clenched his jaw and took a deep breath.

“What the hell happened this time?”

“I know he is my brother, but he is a total jackass… he… he blamed Cas for what happened with mom… he said some pretty hard shit … it was a mess man,”

 Dean turned around leaving Gabriel in the kitchen; he was going to kill Michael. He ran upstairs, he was pretty sure Michael would be at the TV room, and that was exactly where he headed. Right there, lying in the couch was Michael watching TV. 

“Hey Dean… here to pick up your boyfriend? ... I think he’s downstairs with Gabriel or something,”

“You son of a bitch!” Yelled Dean while he approached Michael full of anger. The bastard didn’t even know that Cas had left. Michael wasn’t expecting Dean’s reaction, one moment he was there, standing next to the couch, and the next, he was lifting Michael by the collar of his shirt.

Gabriel appeared in that very instant, but he decided to step out of it, after all, his brother deserved it. Dean threw Michael to the floor, the oldest of the Novak brothers, landed on his back, his face full of fear.

“Listen to me you bastard…if you ever treat Cas like that again…” Dean took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair “You know what? If you ever talk, touch or even look at Cas in a way that makes him feel uncomfortable… I swear to God, man… I’ll kick your ass so hard, you're gonna throw up pieces of my shoelaces for a week, you hear me?” Dean didn’t move, he kept looking at Michael with piercing eyes, waiting to make his point. 

Gabe didn’t move either, he wanted Dean to give a lesson to Michael, he knew the Winchester wasn’t going to hurt his brother, but he was enjoying Michael’s predicament.

“I said… did you hear me bitch?” Asked Dean again.

“Dean buddy, I think he gets it… now, why don’t you go and check on Cas before my brother here goes all ‘code brown’ on his pants?” Interrupted Gabriel.

Dean gave a few steps back but kept looking at Michael, Gabriel was right, he needed to go and see Cas, besides, he was pretty sure that Michael had learnt his lesson. 

Dean turned around and left the room, from the hallway he shouted,

“See ya Gabe! I’ll call you tomorrow,”

“Good bye Dean! I left a pie for you in the kitchen!” Answered Gabriel loudly.

Both brothers stayed still, Gabriel standing next to the couch and Michael lying on the floor, the oldest brother didn’t dare to move until he heard the rumble of Dean’s car fading away.

“Did your poop your pants big brother?” Asked Gabriel with a smirk.

“Fuck you! ” Answered his brother from the floor.

Gabriel left the room, and while Michael was trying to stand up, he could hear his brother bursting into laughter from downstairs.


	4. Hardcore cuddling time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean helps Cas after his meltdown. They end up cuddling for the rest of the night and we see a little flashback to when they were 9 years old. Dean is the best friend ever and Cas is really thankful for having him in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I know i said i would update during the weekend but i got a freaking ear infection and i spend the whole weekend on bed... anyway, i'm feeling better now and here is the new chapter, hope you like it. I'll try to update soon, before friday because i'm going away for the weekend, so yeah...
> 
> Again, thanks for reading, i love you all :)

 

When Dean opened the door of his apartment, all the lights were off, and everything was quiet, the only sound he could hear was the little annoying buzz that came from the fridge; he walked through the hallway and put on the kitchen table the pie Gabe had cooked for them, then he turned on the light and proceeded to prepare Cas’s favorite tea.

 

Dean stepped outside Cas’s room, cup of tea in hand, and after taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door.

 

“Cas… you okay man?” Asked Dean with a calm voice, he waited a few seconds for an answer, but he was pretty sure he wouldn’t get any; he opened the door, inside he found Cas on his bed, lying on his left side; he was hugging an old pillow and tapping his fingers rhythmically. The only light on in the room was the one coming from a small TARDIS lamp on a bedside table. Dean got closer to Cas.

 

“I went to pick you up at you dad’s but you were already gone buddy… Gabe said you guys called me, sorry, my battery died”. Cas was staring into the nothing; it was only when he felt a hand on his shoulder that he looked up.

 

“Hey… hardcore cuddling time?” Asked Dean with a smile. Cas didn’t smile, but his eyes were suddenly filled with happiness, he gave a few nods and Dean got closer.

 

“Ok man, but I need you to drink this first,” Cas sat up and stretched his hands to reach for the cup of tea; Dean sat next to him and helped him with the drink, Cas was still a little shaky, so Dean kept a firm grip on the cup. Cas finished the whole thing pretty fast, he wasn’t aware of how thirsty he was until then. When Cas finished his drink Dean took the cup and put it on the bedside table then he stood up and approached to the closet.

 

“Get comfortable man, I’ll get the blankets,” Said Dean, he then started to look for the heaviest blankets he could find in the closet. Cas went back to his previous position, lying down on his left side, on the left side of the bed. Dean stood up by the right side of the bed; he put the blankets next to Cas and then removed his jacket and shoes. Dean grabbed his iPod and hit play on the “Cas’s favorites” playlist.

 

“Okay then, hardcore cuddling time it is,” Said Dean while he got into the bed; he covered Cas with all the blankets he grabbed from the closet, and then he proceeded to hug Cas.

 

There were times when Cas thought he couldn’t love Dean more, this was one of those times; Dean was always taking care of him, always by his side, no matter what. Cas was sure he didn’t deserve this, but he was so tired after his experience with Michael, that for that little instant he left himself believe that everything was fine, he was being held by his best friend, the love of his life and right now, it was all that mattered.

 

Dean could feel the exact moment when Cas fell asleep, his breathing changed and his body was less tense, he sat up and grabbed his phone, he had to let Lisa know that they would have to cancel their plans for the night.

 

**U R gonna kill me. Have to postpone our date.**

**:( I was about to get ready. Everything ok?**

**Yeah, Cas doesn’t feel well. I’m keeping him company.**

**That sucks. U R such a good friend. Say hi to Cas.**

 

**Will do. I’ll make it up 2 U. Promise.**

**I’ll make sure of that Winchester.**

  

He really wanted to go to that date with Lisa, but Cas needed him, and he would never change him for anything or anyone _‘OMG… I’m so screwed’_. Dean smiled, left his phone on the bedside table and turned to hug his friend again, and while he was there, burying his nose on Cas' hair, his arms wrapped around him, he couldn’t help but remember how the “hardcore cuddling” tradition had begun.

 

* * *

 

**_14 years before:_ **

 

_Dean climbed onto the Novak’s tree house as fast as he could; he was really worried…_

_“Cas! ... Cas! ... Are you here?” The tree house wasn’t that big, but Dean looked on every corner anyway. The place looked as always, a lot of books and comics scattered all over, an old radio by the window and the dirty old beanbags on the corner and… was that Cas under them?_

_Dean got closer to the beanbags, his friend was crying, hugging his legs and using the beanbags as blankets. Dean kneeled next to him._

_“Cas… Are you okay? I heard all the screaming,” Said Dean with a soft voice. Cas didn’t say anything, he kept crying, he wouldn’t even look at Dean._

_Dean didn’t know what to do, he wanted to hug his friend but a year of friendship with Cas had taught him that sometimes the youngest Novak didn’t want to be hugged, so he did what he always did when Cas was upset, give him some space._

_Dean sat on the opposite corner from Cas, he grabbed a book and waited. Eventually (an hour latter) Cas came out of his little shelter and sat next to Dean._

_“Thank you for staying Dean,” Said Castiel._

_“Anytime Cas… are you okay? Asked Dean, he was really worried about his friend. Cas gave a small nod, but then his eyes started to get teary again._

_“Do you wanna talk?” Cas didn’t answer; he started to scratch his left hand and closed his eyes._

_“We don’t have to talk if you don’t wanna… but don’t do that,” Said Dean while grabbing Cas’s hand. Cas took a deep breath and for the firs time looked at his friend._

_“Mom … mom and dad, they were fighting,”_

_“It’s not your fault Cas,”_

_“No, it is… she said I was an accident a-and that she … she wished that I was like Michael,” Cas started to cry, he couldn’t help it, tears began to roll down his cheeks, he was a sobbing mess._

_“Well your mom is wrong… you are not an accident, you are the coolest kid I know and you are my best friend… and Michael is stupid,” Cas smiled a little._

_“And dad heard her … he was really upset, they started fighting, so I ran,” Said Cas while drying his tears with the back of his hands._

_“Why were you hiding under the beanbags?”_

_“Doctor Norton taught me… when I get upset, it's like… like if my body feels better whit pressure,”_

_“Like putting something heavy on top of ya?" Asked Dean curiously,_

_“Something like that… I mean it doesn’t have to be something super heavy… most of the time I hide under the beanbags or if I’m in my room under a bunch of blankets and pillows,”_

_“Would a hug help?”_

_“I don’t know… I-I don’t think so… You know I don’t feel like touching people sometimes,”_

_“Oh” Said Dean; it was obvious that the answer he got from Cas made him sad. He wanted to help his friend, but he didn’t know what to do. Cas didn’t want to make his only friend feel sad, he knew Dean only wanted to help._

_“We can try something” Said Cas, “ Maybe I can cover with the bunch of blankets and then you can hug me over the blankets,” Dean gave his friend a huge smile._

_“Okay, but only if you want to,” Cas answered with a nod, then he stood up and grabbed the sleeping bags they kept in the tree house; he handed them to Dean. Cas pushed together the beanbags and climbed on top of them; Dean followed him and once his friend was comfortable, Dean covered him with the sleeping bags and then proceeded to hug his friend._

_“This okay?” Asked Dean a little worried._

_“Yes Dean, perfect,” Answered Cas with a smile. Dean started laughing._

_“What?” Asked Cas._

_“Nothing, it’s just that this is like ‘hardcore cuddling’…” Both boys smiled._

_“I like it, we can call it that,” Said Cas._

* * *

 

 

Dean felt all sweaty and hot; he woke up two hours later feeling like he really needed a shower. He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw, were a couple of incredibly blue eyes staring at him. He smiled.

 

“Like what you see?” Asked Dean. Cas blushed and threw a pillow to Dean’s face.

 

“Just kidding Cas… how you feeling?” Said Dean sitting up. Cas didn’t answer.

 

“Not feeling chatty tonight?” Cas shook his head.

 

“It’s all right man… take your time,” Dean stood up from the bed.

 

“Hey, I’m gonna take I shower… then what do you say we eat the pie Gabe baked for us while watching some Harry Potter?” Cas smiled.

 

“Okay, be right back then…. Don’t touch the pie,”

 

Dean left the room. Cas could hear him walking in the hallway and finally closing the bathroom’s door. He was so lucky of having Dean as his best friend.

 

* * *

 

Twenty minutes later, both friends were on the couch, each with a slice of pie on their plates, watching the third Harry Potter movie (Cas’s favorite). Dean started laughing suddenly. Cas was looking at him with an expression that clearly meant _“what?”_

 

“I almost kicked your brother’s ass today” Said Dean smiling. “Michael, not Gabe… when Gabriel told me what happened I flipped man…I don't know what happened, one minute I was with Gabe in the kitchen, next thing i know i'm throwing Michael to the floor... you should have seen his face, Gabe thought Mike was going to shit his pants,” Cas was blushing again, he still wasn’t talking, but he figured out the best way to thank his friend, he took another slice of pie and put it on Dean’s plate. Dean smiled.

 

“Your brother is an ass… I don’t know what he said exactly… but I know it’s not true, you are perfect the way you are Cas, don’t you ever change,” Now it was time for Dean to blush, he cleared his throat and turned his attention back to the TV.

* * *

 

When the movie ended Dean stood up to put another one on the DVD player.

 

“Wanna watch the next one Cas?” Asked Dean, he turned his head, only to find his best friend sound asleep on his side of the couch. Dean smiled, he had never told it to anyone, but he loved watching Cas sleep, even when they were kids.

 

“Okay man, you need to go to bed… if you sleep here, your back will hate you in the morning,” He helped Cas to stand up, he was pretty sure his best friend was still asleep and pretty much functioning on autopilot, but at least he was walking to his room. Dean helped Cas to his bed, he made sure he was comfortable; when Dean was about to leave the room, he felt a hard grip on his arm, he looked at Cas, his best friend watched him with pleading eyes.

 

“Stay?” Said Cas with a hoarse voice. It was the first word Cas had said in hours, so of course Dean couldn’t say no to that. He smiled and nodded.

 

“Sure Cas,” said Dean, and then he took his place on the bed, next to Cas. They were facing each other, very close, but not touching, Dean turned off the light and got himself comfortable.

 

“Thank you,” Said Cas almost in a whisper and then he fell asleep again.

 

“Good night Cas,” said Dean after closing his eyes.


	5. Some asshole called us at a god forsaken hour on a freaking Sunday!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after the "incident" with Michael. As usual lots of unrequited love (or at least that's what both of them think). 
> 
> Dean wakes up feeling awesome, only to hear Cas say something that will break his heart, after that, Dean decides to go on another date with Lisa and try to get over Cas as soon as possible. We finally hear from Sam, learn a little more of their past (Dean,Sam and Cas) and apparently Cas doesn't own a pair of pajama pants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I couldn't sleep last night so I ended up writing a lot. I think the chapter ended up pretty long, but i didn't cut it because as i said on my last post i'll be out of the city for a few days and I don't know if there will be wi-fi in the place i'm going to (praying to the gods of wi-fi). 
> 
> It's really cool to see that you guys like what i'm doing, really, is one of the reasons I get up in the morning. Anyway, here's the new chapter, I hope you like it and as usual, thanks for reading and leaving comments and kudos.

 

_Cas was playing in Bobby’s backyard with Sam and Dean; the three of them were trying to catch “Bones”, Sam’s dog, and of course failing miserably._

_“Bones, come here you stinky dog… Uncle Bobby won’t let you in if we don’t give you a bath!” Yelled Dean while running behind the dog._

_“C’mon Bones, this isn’t funny anymore!” Said Sam, he was soaking wet after his last attempt to put Bones in the little plastic swimming pool._

_Cas was bright red from laughing, his stomach was beginning to ache, suddenly Bones turned in his direction and before Cas could move, the dog jumped and send Castiel straight into the mud. Bones was licking all of his face and Cas was stretching his hands, trying to push the dog off._

_“Oh my God! You, stupid dog!” Said Dean “I’m sorry Cas, here, let me help you up,” Dean grabbed Bones by the collar and handed the dog to Sam, “this time don’t let him go Sammy,” Said Dean then he got closer to Cas and offered him a hand to help him stand up. Cas took Dean’s hand but when he was trying to get up, he slipped again and both boys ended up on the mud._

_“You were right Cas, this mud treatment is doing wonders with my skin,” Said Dean with a smirk, he was lying on top of Cas. The youngest Novak rolled his eyes and smiled, then both of them looked at each other’s eyes at the same time and everything around them ceased to exist, time stopped, bright blue eyes met beautiful green ones, they were so close, Cas couldn’t tell if they had been like that for hours or seconds when the loud noise of the TARDIS landing, interrupted them._

 

“Cas” He heard Dean talking, what the hell was happening?

 

"Cas for the love of God! Answer your damn phone man, I’m trying to get some sleep here,” Cas opened his eyes to find a very annoyed Dean covering his head with a pillow, oh, yeah he was just dreaming… and the TARDIS sound was his phone and, oh yes, he should probably answer that; he rolled to his left and grabbed the phone from the bedside table, the screen announced “Gabriel” under a picture of Gabe and Cas decorating a cake.

 

“Ugh” whispered Cas before sliding his finger on the screen to answer the call.

 

“Good morning baby bro! ... Feeling better? Where are you? I can’t see you, is that your ear? Hello? Cas?” Cas was falling asleep again, the sound of Gabriel’s voice woke him up, he took the phone from his ear and looked into the screen, there he saw his brother smiling and waving at him.

 

“Oh, I see you now… did I wake you up?” Asked Gabriel.

 

“Yes Gabriel, it’s 8:30 am on a Sunday, of course you woke me up… what are you even doing up?” Asked Castiel with a husky voice.

 

“Oops, sorry baby bro, Kali asked me to drive her to the airport, so I woke up at 6:30 to take her, I just came back from the airport and I wanted to check on you,” Gabe was trying to put his innocent face, but Cas didn’t buy it. Cas sat up and passed a hand through his hair.

 

“I’m fine,” he yawned, “ thank you for helping me yesterday,”

 

“Jesus, would you two shut up? ... I’m trying to get some more shut eye, damn it,” Came a hoarse voice from under the pillow.

 

“Sorry Dean, I’ll go outside to talk,” Answered Cas, and then he got out of bed, he felt weird not doing his normal routine, but at this point he wasn’t even sure if we was still dreaming. Cas got out of the room, closed the door behind him and walked to the kitchen.

 

“OH MY GOD! Was that Dean Winchester in your bed?” Yelped Gabriel. Cas started the electric kettle and the coffeemaker and then sat by the table.

 

“Hmm ... Yes,” Answered the youngest Novak.

 

“My, my, little brother… and here I was thinking all you guys do together is watch Netflix and eat pizza all day long,” Said Gabe with a smirk.

 

“What? ... Of course that’s not the only thing we do Gabe,” Said Cas, he wasn’t getting what his brother was trying to say.

 

“So… did you sleep together?”

 

“Yes” Said Cas, but then when he saw the look on his brother’s eyes he understood what was going on “Wait! ... When you use the term ‘sleep together’ do you mean like sharing a bed or intercourse” Asked Cas, suddenly his face was turning a bright shade of pink.

 

“Yeah, that would be the second option dear brother” Answered Gabe.

 

“Oh, no… I … we… we didn’t…. we just shared a bed, nothing else happened,” Said Cas, blushing even more. Gabe started to laugh.

 

“You’re boring,” Answered Gabriel. Cas got up and went back to the kettle to make some tea; he placed his phone on the counter.

 

“Gabe, you should know by now, nothing is ever going to happen between Dean and I, we are just friends, I don’t see him in that way,” Said Cas while looking for milk on the fridge. Gabe just rolled his eyes.

 

“Is that why you called me?” Asked Cas, he finally found the milk he was looking for, he turned around and poured some milk on his tea.

 

“No, I’m sorry… I really wanted to check on you, also, I told Dad what happened last night… I felt like a 6 year old for ratting on our big bro, but he had it coming, you should have seen it,”

 

“What happened?” Asked Dean, Cas gave a small jump; he hadn’t seen Dean coming into the kitchen.

 

“Good morning Dean-o… Sleep well?” Asked Gabriel with a smirk. Dean didn’t answer; he walked to the coffeemaker and poured coffee in his Darth Vader cup.

 

“You were saying,” said Cas, he passed Dean the milk, grabbed the phone and went back to his chair.

 

“Oh, yeah… well dad was furious, he told Mike, and I quote _‘if you are not going to respect your brothers, you are not welcome in this house anymore Michael John Novak, I won’t tolerate this behavior in my own home,’_ Then Mike said that he didn’t like spending time with us anyway…”

 

“Jesus, what an ass,” Said Dean; sitting next to Cas.

 

“Oh but I’m not done yet, the idiot went to his room and picked up his things and when he was about to leave dad told him that if he didn’t want to be part of this family then he would help him with that… by taking him out of dad’s will,”

 

“Go Chuck,” Said Dean.

 

“What did he do?” Asked Castiel.

 

“What do you think? He suddenly felt sorry for what he did and promised that he would change and be a better big brother,”

 

“Please tell me your father didn’t buy it,”

 

“Of course no… he accepted his apologies and told him that he was welcome to stay, but when Michael was going back to his room dad said _‘I wish you loved your family the same way you love my money,’_ it was beautiful,” Gabriel was wiping fake tears now.

 

“Shots fired,” Said Dean laughing.

 

“I hope I didn’t get you in any trouble with Michael or dad, Gabe,” Said Castiel concerned.

 

“Nah, dad thanked me for taking care of you and Michael didn’t say a word, I think he’s too scared of losing dad’s money,”

 

“Like I said, what and ass,” Said Dean looking at the screen, Cas thought it was maybe his imagination but Dean was acting odd, a little distant.

 

“Yup… oh, by the way Cas, dad’s tour is totally happening, I think he’ll call you with the details later,”

 

“Okay Gabriel, thank you,”

 

“Well kiddos, it was nice talking to you but I’m a little tired, I think I’m going back to bed, you two should do the same, you look like shit,”

 

“Oh maybe it is because some asshole called us at a god forsaken hour on a freaking Sunday,” Answered Dean.

 

“Jesus Dean, take a chill pill man, you need to get laid,” Said Gabe, and after winking at Dean he hung up the phone.

 

Dean hit his head against the table and closed his eyes.

 

“Are you okay Dean? You are acting a little weird this morning,” Asked Cas shyly.

 

“Yeah Cas, peachy,” Cas stopped talking for a moment, Dean was obviously upset, maybe Cas had said or done something wrong. Dean opened his eyes and saw Cas staring at the table.

 

“Cas, man, I’m fine… I just hate being up this early on a Sunday, that’s it, you didn’t do anything,”

 

Cas gave a small nod and smiled to his friend then he took a sip of his tea.

 

“I know, I was having such a nice dream,” Answered Cas; Dean got up and went to pour more coffee in his cup.

 

“What were you dreaming of?” Asked him,

 

“Do you remember Bones? That dog Sam Brought one day to your home when he was twelve,” Dean gave a small nod, he didn’t go back to his seat, instead, he leaned on the counter, drinking his coffee.

 

“I was dreaming of that time when we were trying to give Bones a bath on your backyard but we couldn’t catch him and we ended up on the mud, do you remember that day?” Dean was trying really hard not to blush; of course he remembered, they were sixteen, that was the day he almost kissed Cas, the day he decided he wanted to tell Cas about his feelings.

 

“Nope, I don’t remember, but it sounds like a cool memory,” lied Dean.

 

“It was a nice day” Said Cas with a sad look _‘Of course he doesn’t remember you idiot, you were the only teenager with the massive crush that day, not him’_ thought Castiel.

 

“Anyway, since we’re already up, I might as well start breakfast”. Said Cas.

 

“Sounds great, I’ll do the laundry then,” Said Dean, and after emptying his second cup of coffee, he went to his room.

 

* * *

 

_**A few minutes earlier:** _

 

Dean couldn’t go back to sleep, it didn’t matter how much he tried _‘thanks a lot Gabriel’_ , he rolled to Cas’s side of the bed and hugged his pillow, it smelled like Cas; Dean smiled and hugged the pillow tighter, he couldn’t help it, he loved waking up next to Cas. Before starting to make out with the pillow (it only happened once but in his defense, he was really really drunk that time) he decided to get out of bed.

 

Dean left Cas’s room, closing the door behind him; he was about to go into the kitchen when he heard it,

 

“Gabe, you should know by now, nothing is ever going to happen between Dean and I, we are just friends, I don’t see him in that way,”

 

Dean froze right there, he knew that was the truth, but it still hurt. He had heard Cas dozens of times say that he just didn’t feel attracted to other people, but Dean still hoped. This was the first time he heard Cas say that he didn’t see Dean in that way, and it really hurt.

 

“Is that why you called me?” He heard Cas asking. Then Gabriel began to talk.

 

“No, I’m sorry… I really wanted to check on you, also, I told Dad what happened last night… I felt like a 6 year old for ratting on our big bro, but he had it coming, you should have seen it,”

 

Dean took a deep breath and finally entered the kitchen.

 

“What happened?” He said.

 

* * *

 

Cas got out of the bathroom after his shower; they’d spent the whole day cleaning up the apartment, now he just wanted some rest and maybe to draw a little. Dean was sitting on the couch talking on the phone.

 

“Yes Sammy, I’m sure it’s fine… 's not like I’m going to start crying or something,” Said Dean. Cas smiled.

 

“Hi sam!” he yelled, and then sat next to Dean.

 

“Cas says hi… yeah I’ll tell him,” Said Dean at the phone, “Well, call me before you leave okay? ... Bitch,” Said Dean finally, and then he hanged up.

 

“Sam says hi and that he sent you an e-mail,” Said Dean turning to his friend; Cas was drying his hair with his towel, but when Dean started talking he removed the towel from his head; his hair was a mess, dark locks of hair pointing in all directions, when it was wet his hair seemed almost black. Dean forgot to breathe, sometimes he found it very difficult to restrain himself from jumping Cas.

 

“Dean?” Asked Cas, only then Dean realized that his friend had probably been talking to him for a while.

 

“Oh, sorry… what?” Said Dean shaking his head.

 

“What else did Sam say?” Asked Cas calmly.

 

“Oh, yeah… apparently Sammy’s got a girlfriend now, and she invited him over for thanksgiving, so he’s not coming this year,” Said Dean a little Sad, he missed his brother a lot, but he knew that Sam needed to keep on with his life.

 

“I’m sorry to hear that… not the girlfriend part, the ‘Sam’s not coming’ part,” Cas got closer to Dean, he knew his friend would feel like shit after the news.

 

“Hey, it’s fine, at least he’s comin’ for Christmas!” Cas just gave a small nod.

 

“Dou you want to do something? We could go to the movies if you want,” Asked Cas. Dean really wanted to said yes, but before talking to Sam, he had texted Lisa to ask her out, he could cancel again and go out with Cas, but he needed to be realist, after what Cas had said to Gabe, Dean really needed to move on.

 

“Sorry Cas, I already made plans with Lisa… hope it’s okay,” Dean didn’t dare to look at his friend.

 

“It’s okay Dean, I probably should get a quiet evening and go to bed early anyway, tomorrow we start a new project at the office,” Dean didn’t know how, but Cas managed to sound apologetic, now he really wanted to spend the rest of the day with him.

 

“Well, I better get going then, I have to pick up Lisa,” Said then, and then he left the living room; Cas heard the sound of Dean’s door being closed and he sighed.

 

“It’s for the best Castiel…” Whispered Cas to himself, then he retired to his room as well.

 

* * *

 

 

“So, Bobby is your uncle, when I met him at the shop I thought he was your Dad… he’s very sweet,” Said Lisa; after the movies, they went for a walk at a park near Lisa’s house.

 

“Yeah, well he practically is my father, we’ve been with him since I was 8, he literally raised us,” answered Dean. They kept walking in silence. Dean knew Lisa wanted to ask about his parents, everybody did when they found out that Bobby wasn’t actually his dad, he took a deep breath.

 

“My mom died when I was four,” Said Dean suddenly, “a fire at our old house,”

 

“Dean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Said Lisa.

 

“Nah, it’s fine… I barely remember it, and well, after that, we moved a lot, it was hard for dad to find a job and be a single parent, so, after my eighth birthday, he took us to Bobby’s and said we would stay there for a while, he said he got a job in Missouri, and as soon as he saved enough money, he would come back for me and my brother… and I guess he’s still trying to save that money because we haven’t seen him yet,”

 

“Oh Dean, I’m so sorry,” Said Lisa, she grabbed Dean’s hand and got closer to him.

 

“It’s okay, really… Bobby was an excellent parent, he gave us the life dad couldn’t… hey, I event went to college,” Joked Dean.

 

“Which takes me to the next question… why did you come back after college?” Said Lisa.

 

“Felling a little curious tonight, aren’t we?” Asked Dean with a smile.

 

“Hey, I need to make sure I’m not dating an axe murderer or something,” Dean laughed, he really liked Lisa, she was nice and funny.

 

“Well it’s actually a long story… the first reason was cuz I missed my home, then, during my last semester I found out Bobby was having trouble with the shop, and I wanted to help… I learned a lot in school and I wanted to apply that to Bobby’s shop, to upgrade it, you know? Add more services, make it a bigger business, and beat the competition… I talked to him, but he’s a stubborn son of a bitch, so he kept saying that the business was fine.” Dean walked Lisa to a bench and both sat there, Dean kept telling his story.

 

“So I worked on this business plan, like a real research and numbers and stuff and I sent it to Bobby… and his answer was ‘and where do you think I’m going to get the money to do this improvements ya’ idjit? I ain't getting any business partner to put his money and try to change everything in this damn place’…” Dean did a perfect impression of his Uncle and Lisa was giggling.

 

“I needed to get a business partner that wanted to invest but didn’t wanted to mess with our concept… and I started looking, it was really hard, is not like I know a lot of rich folks… then, one day I found him, a perfect investor, I called Bobby and it took me a while but at the end he accepted the offer, and well, we finished school, packed our stuff and came back home,”

 

Lisa couldn’t help but notice how at the end of the story Dean said “we”, but she didn’t say a word, instead she kissed him on the cheek.

 

“What was that for?” Asked Dean with a smile.

 

“You’re a brilliant man Dean, I love how you fought for your ideas and in the end got what you wanted,” Lisa stretched her hand and ran it trough Dean’s hair, then she got closer and kissed him on the lips; the kiss didn’t last long, Dean wasn’t a big fan of PDA and they were in a public park.

 

After a while, Dean looked at his watch and decided it was time to end the date.

 

“I should take you home, it’s freezing out here and I have to get up early tomorrow, you know, me being a business owner and everything,” Said Dean with a smirk. Lisa smiled and stood up. Dean took Lisa’s hand and both walked back to the parking lot.

 

* * *

 

Dean’s head was a mess; he liked Lisa, but he felt like he was trying really hard to impress her, he had never done that in previous relationships. Then there were the kisses, he liked them, but as soon as they were finished he always found himself thinking of Cas, of his pink lips and how he would love to kiss him, and then of course he hated himself for thinking of his best friend in that way and also for ‘mentally cheating on Lisa’.

 

When he opened the door to the apartment, all he wanted to do was to have a beer and go to bed; he was so immersed in his thoughts that he couldn’t help but to gasp and give a little jump when he turned on the lights and found Cas sound asleep on the couch.

 

“Cas! ... Damn it,” Said Dean, his voice a little higher than usual, “you scared the shit out of me… wake up man, you need to go to your bed”. Cas didn’t react to any of Dean’s words; he was tangled in a blanket, wearing a big ugly sweater. Dean got closer and shook his friend’s arm.

 

“Yo… Cas, wake up man,” Cas opened one eye slowly and then yawned.

 

“Hello Dean,” Said the youngest Novak with a hoarse voice.

 

“Hi Cas… you need to go to your bed man, what are you doing here?” Cas sat up and yawned again.

 

“I must have fallen asleep, I was watching Back to the future,” He passed a hand through his hair. He looked so cute,  _‘damn it Winchester, you’re such a chick sometimes’_. Cas stood up, leaving the blanket on the couch, and when Dean saw him he could feel his ears turning a bright shade of red.

 

“Damn it Cas ... don’t you own a pair of pajama pants or what?” Asked Dean, he was really flustered. Cas was only wearing his big sweater and a pair of black boxer briefs.

 

“Yes, I do, but they were in the dryer when I started watching the movie,” To Dean’s good luck, Cas was still very asleep to notice how the Winchester was blushing.

 

“Well… go, get ‘em, then… and put a pair of socks on too, it’s freaking freezing outside man,” Dean was sure that was the most pathetic excuse ever, but Cas looked so damn hot right now, he needed to get him out of his sight ASAP.

 

“Okay Dean, Goodnight,” Said Cas, he gave a little wave with his hand and retired to their small laundry room, next to the kitchen. Dean sat down for a moment, he needed to breathe  _‘why does this happen to me? … I’m really trying to do the right thing here, and there he is, giving me a mental image to use for the next two weeks in the shower… Damn it Dean keep it together man, have some dignity’._

 

Dean stayed at the living room for a few more minutes, breathing and having a major fight with his brain.

 

“I need a beer,” He finally said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking, I actually studied digital arts, so at some point I might start doing drawings to go with the story, that will depend on how soon I advance on the writing, I already have the ending planed, so at least I know where I'm going.
> 
> Thanks for reading, even if I don't have wi-fi during the weekend i'm planning on taking my ipad with me, hopefully the woods will inspire me to do more writing. Stay tuned!


	6. Charlie is a freakin' girl?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and his friends start a new project at the office. Dean finds out that Cas is scared of driving after a car accident he had a few months ago and they talk about it. 
> 
> We learn more about Bobby's garage; Charlie and Cas hang out more and Dean finally discovers that Charlie is actually a girl and he freaks out because he thinks she is Castiel's new girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm back... after a few days in the woods, where as I predicted they didn't have wi-fi (Not everybody is as lucky as Sam Winchester to find internet everywhere).
> 
> This chapter is a little long, hope you like it, I know I left it in some kind of cliffhanger, but I promise I'm already working on the next chapter. 
> 
> Again, thanks for the kudos and comments and all that stuff! I love you all! 
> 
> Hope you like it!

 

* * *

 

Dean was leaning on the kitchen counter, finishing his second cup of coffee and staring at the toaster as if maybe that would make it work faster.

 

“Hello Dean,” Came a hoarse voice behind him; Dean smiled and turned around.

 

Cas was standing behind him, his dark hair was a mess, he wasn’t wearing his glasses, his eyes were a little red and he was wearing his Guinea pig pajamas, plus the big ugly sweater; Dean just loved the ‘I just woke up adorable look’.

 

“Morning sunshine… want some tea?” answered Dean, he opened the pantry door and grabbed Cas’s favorite cup.

 

“Yes, please,” Said Cas after a big yawn, “how is it that you are all fresh and happy at 7:30 in the morning?” Asked Cas while taking the cup from Dean’s hand.

 

“Guess I just love my job… that and I think my coffee is stronger than usual this morning,” Smiled Dean.

 

Cas yawned again; he proceeded to prepare his tea, trying really hard not to fall asleep while standing.

 

The toast was finally ready, so Dean grabbed it, put it on a plate and went to the table, by the time Dean was sitting reading his news paper, Cas had already finished his cup of tea.

 

“I’m going to take a shower now… I’ll hurry up and then help you with breakfast,” Said Cas walking to the hallway.

 

“Okay Cas,” Answered Dean, he took another sip of his coffee and kept reading.

 

* * *

 

After breakfast, which consisted on hash browns and a huge cheese omelet with bacon (Gabe wasn’t the only Novak who was a talented cook), Dean and Cas finished getting ready for the day. By 8:30 Dean was already standing next to the door, putting on his jacket.

 

“C’mon Cas… You’re gonna be late man!” Yelled Dean.

 

“I had trouble finding my left boot,” Said Cas leaving his room; he was walking with only the right boot on, the left one still in his hand.

 

Dean waited by the door pretending to look for his keys; he didn’t want to make it obvious that he was waiting for Cas. But of course, Cas noticed anyway.

 

“Oh, you don’t have to wait for me Dean, I can walk to the office,” Said Cas while tying his shoelace. Dean blushed a little.

 

“Dude, it’s fucking freezing outside, don’t start with the _‘I can walk to that place’_ shit,” Said Dean with a firm voice, sometimes it was like a contest of stubbornness with those two.

 

“Okay, fine, I wont argue this time,” Cas stood up and grabbed his jacket and a scarf from the coat rack. Dean opened the door and got out of the apartment. And after another minute of waiting, Cas was finally ready.

 

Despite of waking up early almost every day, Cas loved his job. Kraken was an incredible workplace.

 

On the first floor, there was a small reception, Benny’s office, a conference room and an extra office that could be used by anyone who wanted to work in peace (mostly Cas and Kevin used it). They also had a bathroom. The second floor however, was just conformed by a big studio with a desk and a computer for each member of the team, there was also a small lounge by the left corner of the room and a little kitchen next to it. Next to the studio they had a sound cabin, a storeroom and another bathroom. Cas and his friends had decorated it all by themselves, and they all were very proud of the place.

 

Cas entered the building, when he got in, Kevin was leaning on the reception table talking on the phone, Cas waved his hand at him and then he headed upstairs.

 

Ash was already in the studio, sitting in front of his desk (the one closer to the small lounge) typing pretty fast on his computer.

 

“Mornin’ Cas! Ready for our new project? Benny said we’re going to love this client,” Said Ash, without taking his eyes off of the computer screen.

 

“Hello, Ash… yes, I’m really looking forward to it,” Cas took off his jacket and scarf and hanged them next to the door, then he walked straight to his desk (the messy one on the right corner, next to a big window) and sat down. He was pretty sure that if he closed his eyes in that moment, he could totally go back to sleep.

“Hello bitches! ... It’s officially my first day here, so I brought you all some coffee, and tea for Cas,” Said Charlie walking in the room, she was carrying a tray of coffee from Starbucks.

 

“Thanks Charlie, you’re a Goddess,” Said Ash standing up and grabbing the Coffee that Charlie handed him.

 

“I know,” Said Charlie with a little smile; she then approached Cas and handed him his tea.

 

“Hope English breakfast is fine… it was the only black tea they had,” Said the redhead with a shy voice.

 

“Of course, it's perfect… thank you Charlie,” Answered Castiel tasting his drink, “hmmm… you even added milk,”

 

“Yep, I texted Kevin yesterday to ask how you guys liked your drinks,” She seemed very proud of herself.

 

The indistinctive sound of Benny’s loud steps entering the studio interrupted them.

 

“Morning guys,” Said Benny, a wide smile on his face. Charlie handed him his coffee, “Oh, thank you Chérie,” Said Benny, he drank a bit of his coffee before continuing talking, “Our new client will be here any minute now, I hope you’re in the mood for pizza.”

 

“What does pizza has to do with it?” Asked Ash. Cas and Charlie were looking curiously at Benny as well.

 

“Well, our new client is ‘Rosa’s Pizza,” Answered Benny.

 

“OMG! That’s so cool! I already love this job,” Said Charlie.

 

“We’re re-designing their website, they want people to be able to order online, also we’re managing all their social media,”

 

They all were pretty exited, it seemed like a cool project and they all loved pizza.

 

“Why don’t you guys show Charlie what you’re doing with the ‘Singer & sons’ website while we wait? Kevin will let you know when the client is here,” Said Benny, and with that, he left the room.

 

“Singer and sons?” Asked Charlie.

 

“Yeah, it’s an old garage in town, they’re re-designing themselves, you know? New image, bigger place, new equipment, the whole enchilada,” Answered Ash.

 

“And we’re working on their website?”

 

“Not just the website, the whole campaign, Cas even designed the new logo… the website is already finished, right now Cas and I are working on the software they’ll use on their computers,”

 

“Are you programming too Cas?” Asked Charlie.

 

“Of course he is, he’s the most interested one in this project,”

 

“Really, why?”

 

“He’s the owner of the place,” Said Ash casually. Cas blushed instantly, he didn’t like being on the spotlight.

 

“What? Cas, you own a garage in town? I thought your last name was Novak, not Singer… am I missing something?” Asked Charlie.

 

“Well I don’t own it completely,” Answered Cas, he suddenly found his shoes really interesting “I… I invested recently on it, but I only own 40% of the business… as for the ‘Singer’ part, I’ve known Bobby, the owner, all my life, he was my neighbor when I was a kid… He’s Dean’s uncle actually, he never had kids of his own, but when Dean and I decided to join the business he insisted on changing the name, he said we are basically his kids and we liked the name so, now the garage is called 'Singer & Sons'”.

 

“That’s sweet,” Said Charlie, “I didn’t know you liked cars though,”

 

“I don’t,” Answered Cas honestly, “But Bobby needed the money to keep the business going and like I said, he’s like a second father to me, so I decided to help,”

 

“And like I said, that’s sweet,” Said Charlie with a smile, she noticed that Cas was blushing, so she turned her attention to Ash. “So… can I see what you’ve done with the ‘Singer & sons’ website then?” Asked her.

 

“Of course” Answered Ash. Cas and Charlie sat next to Ash while he showed Charlie their work. After 10 minutes, they heard a knock on the door,

 

“Guys, the client is here, we’re waiting for you at the conference room,” Said Kevin.

 

They all stood up and headed downstairs.

 

“It’s pizza time,” Said Ash before entering the conference room.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean was in his office checking his e-mails when his door opened.

 

“Mornin’ son how was your Sunday?” Said Bobby, a big cup of coffee on his hand.

 

“Hi Bobby! It was nice, talked to Sammy actually,” Answered Dean.

 

“Yeah, kid called me too… he told you ‘bout thanksgiving?”

 

“Apparently this year it’ll be you, me and our good friend Jack Daniel’s,” Answered Dean with a smile.

 

“Cas not comin’?”

 

“I don’t think so… You know how his dad is with the whole ‘family time’ and that stuff,”

 

“Good old Chuck,” Said Bobby after drinking from his coffee.

 

The door opening interrupted their talk,

 

“Excuse me Mr. Winchester,”

 

“Alfie, first of all, is Dean… and second, learn to knock the damn door kid,”

 

“But Bobby entered without knocking,” Answered Alfie, he was a tall kid with light brown hair and blue eyes. He helped on the garage Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

 

“But Bobby is my freakin’ dad man… and besides, if I tell him to learn to knock the door he would probably smack my head,” Dean smiled a little.

 

“Damn right,” Said Bobby with a smile, “What is it anyway kid?”

 

“Oh, yeah… the new equipment you ordered just got in, and they say they can install it right now if you want,”

 

“Great! Tell them to install it please, I’ll be there in a couple of minutes,” Answered Dean.

 

“Okay Mr. Winchester, I mean, Dean,” Said Alfie before leaving the room.

 

“That kid’s weird,” Said Bobby,

 

“Nah, he’s fine…” Answered Dean.

 

“You told him I’m your dad, by the way,”

 

“I wasn’t lying… though I think that confused him a little,” Said Dean with a smile, “Now he probably thinks I have two gay dads or something like that… better make it clear, next time I’ll tell him you’re my mom,”

 

“If you don’t stop being a smartass, next time you bring a girlfriend or boyfriend to my house, I’m telling them I’m your mom while wearing a dress,” Answered Bobby with a smirk.

 

“Jesus Bobby, it’s only 10:30 in the morning and I already need a drink after that mental image, thank you very much,”

 

“Any time son… now go and talk to the installation guys, I don’t want those idjits making a mess on my garage,”

 

“Yes sir,” Said Dean and then he left his office.

 

* * *

 

 

Cas and Charlie were on the couch eating pizza and relaxing, they were on their lunch break.

 

“I love this new project, free pizza is the best pizza,” Said Charlie

 

“I know, I could eat pizza everyday… there’s this place near my old house, the owner is Italian and we used to go all the time, he used to cook special pizzas just for us” Said Cas,

 

“Us?”

 

“Hmm… yes, Dean, his brother Sam and I,”

 

“Oh… it’s pretty cool that your friendship had lasted this long… I don’t think I know what happened to any of my childhood friends,” Said Charlie.

 

Both kept eating in silence, enjoying their pizza.

 

“Hey Cas… remember you promised to show me all the geeky places you like in this town,” Said Charlie very exited.

 

“Of course, we can go to a few places tomorrow… there’s this place that sells comic books and movies near my apartment, we could go and then watch a movie at my place and cook dinner, how does that sound?” Asked Cas.

 

“Sir, you got me at ‘comic books and movies’ to be honest,”

 

Cas really liked Charlie, it was pretty easy to get along with her; she was nice and funny. She was going to become his friend really fast.

 

“Okay, so tomorrow after work then,” Said Castiel.

 

“Can’t wait,” Answered Charlie.

 

* * *

 

Bobby was at the break room heating his lunch in the microwave.

 

“There you are,” Said Dean entering the room, “They just finished the installation, it went great… we only need the light sign with the new logo for the entrance and everything will be ready for the re-inauguration,”

 

“How’s that website thing going?” Asked Bobby, taking his lunch out of the microwave.

 

“Cas says it’s almost ready, they’ll have it done by the end of this week,” Dean opened the fridge and got his sandwich and a soda.

 

“Grab me one of those, would ya?” asked Bobby while sitting down. Dean grabbed an extra soda and handed it to Bobby after sitting down too.

 

“Speaking of Cas,” Said Bobby, “the parts for his car arrived while you were with the installation guys, Garth says he can finish it if you want,”

 

“No, I can handle it… besides I would feel better making sure that everything is perfect with the car,”

 

Bobby gave him a knowing smile.

 

“What?” Asked Dean,

 

“Nothin’… is just that, sometimes it still amazes me how much you care for that boy,” Said Bobby.

 

“He’s my best friend of course I care about him,”

 

“Uh huh… You sure there’s nothing else you wanna share with the class Dean?”

 

“ What? Bobby, No!” Dean felt his face slowly turn into a bright shade of red, “I’ve told you a million times, there’s nothing happening between us… I got over him, a long time ago and you know it,”

 

Bobby gave a small nod; he could still remember a very young and drunk Dean with a big crush on his best friend and crying because of his unrequited love.

 

“Besides, I’m seeing someone actually,” Said Dean.

 

“Who?”

 

“Her Name is Lisa, you actually met her, the one who brought the white beetle a month ago, brunette, long hair,”

 

“I think I remember, the driver’s door didn’t work and she had to climb through the window to get out of the car,”

 

“Yeah, that’s her… she’s a yoga teacher, she’s very flexible,” said Dean, winking at Bobby.

 

“I really needed that information son,” Answered Bobby, “anyway, you should bring her home sometime… if your relationship gets serious I mean… I don’t want another ‘Aaron incident’ in my house to be honest, but I would really like to properly meet her,”

 

“Oh, c’mon… Aaron wasn’t that bad,” Said Dean pretending to be offended.

 

“Kid kept talking to Cas like a child, and he literally introduced himself as ‘Dean’s fuck buddy,’ I’m scarred for life son,”

 

By the time Bobby finished talking, Dean was pretty sure even his ears were red.

 

“Okay, lets pretend that never happened… Lisa is very nice and I think I’ll take her to your place one of these days,”

 

“Good,” Said Bobby finally.

 

“Anyway… I’ll text Cas to tell him about his car.”

 

* * *

 

 

“See you tomorrow” Said Cas to his friends while putting his jacket on. Charlie was next to him, carrying two boxes of pizza. Cas took one of the pizzas and walked downstairs with Charlie then they got out of the building.

 

“Good bye Charlie,” Said Cas.

 

“Bye Cas, don’t forget our plans for tomorrow,”

 

Cas smiled, turned around and started walking; he had walked a couple of blocks when he got a text message, it was Dean.

 

**“Hey Cas, the parts for your car R finally here! Probably will B ready this week. U decided a paint color yet?”**

Cas took a deep breath and ignored the message, he knew this day would come, now he needed to find out how to tell Dean that he didn’t want that car anymore.

 

“Hey Cas… are you walking home?” Charlie’s voice came from a yellow car next to him.

 

“Hi Charlie, yes, is not that far, 15 minutes walking,” Answered Cas.

 

“I’ll give you a ride… c’mon,”

 

“It’s fine Charlie, really,”

 

“I insist, I’m pretty sure it’s about to snow any time now and I don’t want you freezing to death before tomorrow,” Said the redhead with a smile.

 

“Okay” Said Cas; he opened the door and got in the car.

 

“Where are you going? Asked Charlie.

 

“Oh, my apartment… drive straight three more streets and then turn left, I’ll guide you,” Answered Cas.

 

“Perfect,” Said Charlie.

 

* * *

 

When Dean opened the door to the apartment, he found Cas sitting on the couch, wearing his ‘Adventure time’ pajama pants, watching TV and eating pizza.

 

“Hey Cas! Awesome, you bought pizza,” Said Dean, he hanged his jacket on the coat rack and then plopped himself on the couch, next to the pizza box.

 

“Our new client is a pizza parlor,” Said Cas with a smile.

 

“I see a lot of pizza in our future, then,” Answered Dean while grabbing a slice of pizza, “Hey, I sent you a text, you see it?”

 

“Yes, sorry, I was a little busy at the time and couldn’t answer,” Said Cas nervously.

 

“And? ... Have you picked a color yet?” Asked Dean.

 

“Dean, I… I, want to sell the car, I don’t want it anymore,” Said Cas scratching his left hand.

 

“Because I was thinking maybe blue, and wait, what?” Dean was surprised, that was not the answer he was expecting.

 

“I, I decided that I don’t want it anymore, after you fix it, I want to sell it,”

 

“Cas, is this because of what they say about cars that have been wrecked? Because that’s bull, if the car gets fixed correctly, it will work perfectly… I’ve been working on that car personally, I swear, you won’t even notice that anything happened to it, good as new,”

 

Cas took a deep breath and took off his glasses; he placed them on the little table next to the couch.

 

“It’s not because of that, I know you’re an excellent mechanic Dean, I trust you but… it’s just that… well… after the accident I’ve decided that I don’t want to drive anymore… ever,” Cas was really anxious, Dean could see it.

 

“You lied to me,” Said Dean almost in a whisper.

 

“Please don’t get upset, I know you have worked hard on the car, I’m sorry,” Said Cas with an apologetic voice, he was scratching his hand harder. Dean handed Cas a small cushion so he could scratch it instead of his hand, it was like an automatic reflex.

 

“You think I’m upset because of a stupid car? … I’m not upset; I’m fucking worried, that day at the hospital, when they finally let me see you, you promised me you were fine Cas,” Dean was trying very hard not to raise his voice. “I fucking asked you if you needed help or therapy or something, I asked if you would be fine and you said _‘it’s just a broken leg and some bruises Dean, I’m fine’_ ”

 

Cas was about to cry, he hated to let his friend down.

 

“All this months, we’ve been talking about your car, I’ve been fixing it and telling you about the progress and you let me believe that everything was fine, when in reality you actually got fucking scared after the accident and you didn’t trust me enough to tell me… It’s all my fault, I was so exited about fixing your car, that I didn’t see what was going on,” As usual, Dean was blaming himself; he was an expert on that.

 

“Dean, is not your fault… I thought I would be able to manage it when the time came, but I was wrong… I think it's for the best if don’t drive again… I mean, what if I have another accident? Last time it was just me I hurt, but what if it happens again and I hurt someone else?”

 

“Cas, anyone can have an accident man, I didn’t stop using fire after mom,”

 

Cas looked at his friend with wide eyes, it wasn’t usual for Dean to talk about his mom. Dean put the pizza box on the floor; a few tears were rolling down Cas’s face.

 

“C’mon” Dean faced Cas and opened his arms, Cas smiled a little and got closer, until his face was in Dean’s chest; Dean could feel Cas shaking and his shirt was slowly getting wet with his friends tears. He just slowly rubbed his hand on Cas’s back.

 

“Okay, I’ve got an idea… we’ll start with small drives… like to Walmart or the movies, and I’ll always be by your side… you don’t have to start tomorrow or next week, we’ll wait ‘til you’re ready and then we’ll go slow, what do you say? We can even get you a nice helmet,” Cas sat up, his face was red from crying, but he clearly seemed more relaxed after what Dean said.

 

“Can we keep it a secret?” Asked Cas, “I don’t want dad to find out,”

 

“Of course man,” Said Dean, Cas smiled and hugged the cushion that was next to him.

 

“Still want me to sell the car?” Asked Dean. Cas was silent for a few seconds, but then he shook his head.

 

“No, I want to keep it… but I don’t know when I’ll be ready,”

 

“Hey, it’s okay Cas, we can even keep it at Bobby’s if you want, until you’re ready,”

 

“Okay” Answered Cas.

 

“What do you say I change into some dry clothes and we head to Walmart, we’re running out of food at this place man, and as much as I wan to, I’m pretty sure we can’t survive of pizza,” Said Dean standing up.

 

“ Sounds perfect, I invited Charlie over tomorrow, so buying food would be a great idea… I’ll just go wash my face while you change your clothes,” Answered Cas; He loved that after his little crisis, Dean had been so kind and acted like nothing happened, he loved that he could always trust his friend… well basically, he loved Dean.

 

Dean walked to his room, and when he was opening his door, Cas called from the bathroom.

 

“Dean?”

 

“Yeah Cas?”

 

“Green,”

 

“What?”

 

“The car… I want it green,”

 

“Okay Cas.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Charlie closed the door behind her and started looking for her car keys. Cas was walking besides her, carrying all the shopping bags.

 

“Cas, you’re officially the best tour guide a geeky girl like me could ask for, that place was incredible,” Said Charlie while opening the trunk of her car. Cas carefully put all the bags in. After that, both of them got in the car and Charlie started driving.

 

“That was nothing, next time I’ll show you my favorite bookstore, they only sell fiction, and it’s actually next to my brother’s bakery, so we could visit him too, his pies are delicious,” Answered Cas.

 

“I like that plan, in fact... I was thinking, I mean, if you want, why don’t we make Tuesday our day? You know? We can have dinner or go to the movies or to a cool store on Tuesdays, what do you say?” Asked Charlie with a smile, she didn’t turn to look at Cas; her eyes were fixed on the road.

 

“I like that,” Said Cas, he couldn’t believe how easy it was to be friends with Charlie.

 

“Okay then, from now on, Tuesday is our day... aaand if my internal GPS is working, I believe we’re here,” Said Charlie while parking.

 

“Yes, this is my home,” Said Cas. They got out of the car and Cas took his stuff from the trunk, then they went inside and took the elevator to Cas’s apartment.

 

“At my old job, I used to dance in the elevator when I was alone,” Said Charlie.

 

“Did you ever get caught?”

 

“Nope, but the elevator’s walls where made of glass, so probably everybody saw me or there’s at least one surveillance video with ‘Charlie the musical’ on it,” Said Charlie, the doors opened, they got out of the elevator and they walked through de hallway. Cas stopped outside the door marked with a silver number 5.

 

“Well, here we are,” Said Castiel opening the door.

 

After 15 minutes of Charlie fangirling over Castiel’s movie collection, he finally gave her a tour through the small apartment.

 

“And this is my room,” Said Cas opening the door. He turned on the lights and let Charlie enter the place.

 

“Wow, this place is awesome Cas… did you draw those?” Asked Charlie pointing to a wall full of posters and drawings.

 

“Yes, that’s my ‘artistic spot’,” Said Cas.

 

Cas’s artistic spot consisted on a big desk covered with pencil colors, markers and paper, the wall full of his drawings and a bookshelf with Cas’s favorite books.

 

“Wow, I love your drawings,” Said Charlie getting closer to the wall, “They’re awesome,”

 

“Thank you” Said Cas blushing.

 

“I love the style, I feel like I have seen them before… hmmm maybe online or something,”

 

Cas sat on his bed and let Charlie fangirl with his room.

 

“Wow, your book collection is impressive as well,” Said Charlie, then she turned around and saw the other wall of Cas’s room, that wall was basically a huge bookshelf full of books and comics.

 

“OMG! I wanna live here!” Said Charlie, she walked to that part of the room and started looking at the books, “And you arranged them in alphabetical order too, nice touch”.

 

It took Charlie another 15 minutes, but she finally calmed down enough to sit down next to Cas on the bed.

 

“Where and how did you even got all this stuff?” Asked Charlie,

 

“Most parents try to show love to their kids by spending time with them and hugging and that stuff… my dad showed love buying me books all the time,”

 

“Wow,” Said Charlie.

 

In that moment the sound of the TARDIS landing interrupted their chat. Charlie looked around with expectant eyes, and Cas made a mental note to change his ringtone. He slid his finger on the screen and answered the facetime call.

 

“Hello dad,” Said Castiel.

 

“Hi Cas! I’ve been meaning to call you since yesterday but I’ve been so busy with this whole tour thing,” Answered Chuck, “Oh, hi! Who is your friend?”

 

“Hi, I’m Charlie Bradbury, I work at Kraken with Cas,” Said Charlie.

 

“Hello Charlie, nice to meet you… nice to see you’re making new friends too, Castiel,” Cas blushed a little. “Oh, yes, I was saying… apparently I have a signing in New York City next Friday, so I have to leave by Wednesday,” Said Chuck.

 

“You’re not spending thanksgiving with us?” Asked Cas.

 

“No, I’m so sorry son but I’ll make it up to you guys, I promise,”

 

“Okay” Said Cas, he was actually relieved that he would be able to skip another thanksgiving with Michael.

 

“Cas I have to go, my agent will be here any minute to talk about the tour, see you this Saturday,”

 

“Okay dad, bye,”

 

“Bye Cas, bye Charlie, it was really nice to meet you,” Said Chuck, and before he could get an answer from his son and his friend, he hanged up.

 

“Wow, your dad looks like he drinks a lot of coffee,”

 

“You couldn’t have described him any better,” Said Cas, and then both burst into laughter.

 

“What did he mean with going on a tour? Is he a musician?”

 

“No, he’s a writer actually,”

 

“I knew that face seemed familiar… wait, don’t tell me... OMG, OMG, OMG! ... Your last name is Novak! ... I’m an idiot! Your dad is Chuck Novak, writer of the ‘Devil’s trap’ series,” Charlie was jumping now.

 

“Yes,” Said Cas, he had no idea that Charlie would be a fan of his dad’s work. It was weird. He only had another friend obsessed with the books, Sam, but Charlie was a new level of fangirl, maybe he could ask his dad to send her a signed copy of his new book.

 

“I look like a total creep, don’t I?” asked Charlie sitting down and fixing her hair.

 

“One time a guy followed us to our hotel in Los Angeles because he wanted dad to sign his arm, he said he was going to get it tattooed,”

 

“It doesn’t sound that weird,” Said Charlie,

 

“He was only wearing jeans, nothing else, not even shoes. It was December, and I am pretty sure that he followed us in the subway from South Pasadena to downtown LA… oh and he had a huge tattoo of Crowley on his chest… it was weird seeing my…” Cas went quiet suddenly.

 

“Your what?” Asked Charlie, then she finally realized what Cas meant, “Oh wait, I know where I’ve seen your art before… you do the illustrations for your dad’s books don’t you?”

 

“Yes, but not many people know, only my family, Bobby, Sam and Dean… so please, don’t tell anyone,” Said Cas a little worried, he started to scratch his hand.

 

“Of course I won’t tell… cross my hearts,” Said Charlie, she noticed that Cas’s hand was getting red.

 

“You do that when you’re nervous?” Asked Charlie. Cas stopped scratching his hand and gave a small nod.

 

“I used to do that too… I mean, not scratching my hand but I used to have this scab under my chin, when I was like 10, I don’t even remember how I got it, but whenever I was nervous, I scratched until it bled. Over and over, my mom used to hate it, but I couldn’t control it, it was like a vicious circle, I would scratch the scab until it bleed, then when it healed and became a scab again, I would scratch it again, I never let it heal.” Explained Charlie.

 

“How did you stop?” Asked Cas; Maybe Charlie had the answer to his problems.

 

“I don’t know,” Said Charlie, “I just did, one day I just stopped,”

 

“Oh” said Cas a little disappointed.

 

“I have a scar though” Said Charlie, she lifted her head so Cas could look better under her chin.  He stood up and got closer to Charlie; she really had a nasty scar under her chin.  Cas had his back to the door so he didn’t see when Dean opened the door to his room and said a loud “WOW”.

  

* * *

                                             

 

Dean closed the trunk of Cas’s Car, it had taken him a couple of extra hours but the car was finally ready to start with the paint job.

 

“Your shift ended two hours ago Dean,” Said Bobby behind him.

 

“I know, I just wanted to finish this, tomorrow first thing in the morning I can start with the paint,”

 

“Great, that thing has been here for centuries… I was getting tired of watching it every day,”

 

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that, I kinda need you to keep it at your house for a while after it’s finished,”

 

“Excuse me… I didn’t know my house was your freaking warehouse,”

 

“I need the favor man… Cas needs the favor, it turns out he’s not ready to drive yet, he told me yesterday that he’s scared after the crash and … he cried man, he really is freaked out,”

 

“Wow, I did not see that one coming,” Said Bobby a little worried. “You sure the kid’s fine? Maybe he needs to see someone”.

 

“He’s just scared… we talked, he says he’s not ready but he wants to drive again, eventually, he just needs more time,” Said Dean.

 

“Okay, you know I’ll do anything for that boy, so fine, you can keep the car at my place,”

 

“Thanks Bobby,” Said Dean with a smile. He headed to his office to pick up his stuff, “Oh, and Bobby, I need another favor…”

 

“What now? You want me to keep Michael at my house until Castiel stops being scared of him too?” Answered Bobby,

 

“Not really, though it’s not a bad a idea,” Said Dean, “I just need you to keep this a secret, Cas doesn’t want Chuck to find out,”

 

“Got it, keep it a secret,” Said Bobby.

 

“Thanks,” Said Dean, and then he left Bobby alone.

 

Dean drove back home, he stopped by his second favorite bakery (the first one was Gabe’s but it was at the other side of town) and bought a pie, he remembered that Cas had invited over that new guy from work, Charlie. It was nice that Cas was making new friends, he wasn’t jealous at all.

 

He opened the door of the apartment and headed straight to the kitchen, he placed the pie on the table and then heard voices coming from Cas’s room, Cas was probably there with his new friend, Dean got closer and opened the door, and he never, not in a thousand years, expected to see what he did.

 

There was a girl sitting on the bed, and Cas was really close to her, he was leaning down so their heads were at the same level… where they kissing?

 

“WOW” said Dean with a really loud voice.

 

Cas turned around and saw his best friend standing by the door; he seemed a little uncomfortable.

 

“Hello Dean, how was your day?” Asked Cas. Dean knew he needed to talk, but he didn’t seem to be able at the moment.

 

“Dean?” Asked Castiel again.

 

“Oh, right… hmm… it was fine Cas,”

 

“This is Charlie Bradbury, she’s my new friend, from Kraken,” Said Cas. _‘What? Charlie is a freaking girl? … OMG! Does Cas have a Girlfriend? … I’m going to throw myself from the window,’_ thought Dean.

 

“Hi, Charlie, I’m Dean,” Said the Winchester trying to be polite.

 

“Hi! It’s nice to finally meet the famous Dean,”

 

“Famous?”

 

“Yeah! Cas talks a lot about you and your brother,”

 

“I don’t talk a lot about them,” Said Cas, sitting next to Charlie.

 

“Of course you do,” Said Charlie.

 

Where they sitting to close? Where they flirting? He had never seen Cas flirting before… Dean couldn’t process what was going on, all his life he thought that Cas wasn’t interested in boys or girls or anything… what in the hell was going on? Was Cas suddenly interested in dating?

 

“Did you hear me Dean?” Asked Cas; Dean shook his head; he really needed to concentrate on what was going on.

 

“Sorry, what was that?” Asked Dean.

 

“I was thinking on cooking a lasagna for dinner, is it ok? Or do you want something else?” Said Castiel.

 

“Lasagna is cool Man, I bought pie by the way…”

 

Charlie and Cas stood up and walked to the kitchen, Dean walking behind them.

 

“I think we’ve got everything we need to cook a lasagna,” Said Cas while opening the fridge. Charlie started washing her hands; she was really exited to help Cas with the lasagna.

 

“Okay, cool… hmm... you know what? I forgot my phone in the car, I’ll be right back,” Said Dean, he got out of the kitchen and walked fast to the door, he grabbed his jacket and left.

 

As soon as he left the apartment, Dean started running, and he didn’t stop until he was on the roof of the building. He grabbed his phone and hit number 3 on speed dial; he waited a few seconds until someone answered.

 

“Dean? What’s going on?” Asked Sam,

 

“Sammy I need your help… I think Cas has a girlfriend” Said Dean.


	7. I swear, if you were a girl, I would have asked for your hand in holy matrimony like 5 seconds ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tries really hard not to freak out after meeting Charlie, he's pretty sure that Cas has a girlfriend and he's very jealous and confused. Charlie comes out to Cas and tells him a little about her past. 
> 
> Dean actually spends a nice time with Charlie and Cas, and though he doesn't want to like her, he knows she's a nice person. 
> 
> At the end of the day, Dean has fun, eats pie and gets hit on the balls (in that order).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! I'm back! I had a little "writers block".... I know exactly how the story is gonna end, I even have ideas to make this a series... but somehow I ended up blocked for a few days, shit happens I guess... anyway, here's the new Chapter, I hope you like it. 
> 
> Again, thanks a lot for reading this, it means the world to me. I would like to remind you that english isn't my first language, so i apologize por any mistake.

* * *

 

“Dean? What’s going on?” Asked Sam,

 

“Sammy I need your help… I think Cas has a girlfriend,” Said Dean.

 

“Crap… Are you okay?”

 

“I don’t know,” Answered Dean, he was breathing really fast.

 

“Dean… Are you having a panic attack again? … You need to calm down,” Said Sam,

 

“Your face needs to calm down,”

 

“Jesus, what happened? I mean are you sure? I thought Cas was asexual or aromantic or I don’t know, both?” Sam was pretty confused.

 

“I don’t know man, he had been talking about this new guy at his work, except he never said it was a guy, I just assumed because her name is Charlie, yesterday he told me that his friend was coming over for dinner and today, when I came back from work, I went into his room and they were kissing, or about to kiss… I don’t know man, they were really close but I could only see his back and… I don’t know… I mean she seems like a nice girl at least,” Said Dean trying really hard not to freak out.

 

“Did he say anything?”

 

“No, I mean, he introduced her and then they started making dinner, together… “

 

“But he didn’t say she is his girlfriend?” Asked Sam a little more relaxed.

 

“No man, but… they were too close, to comfortable together, I don’t now how to explain it man, it was weird,”

 

“I know how to explain it,”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah, you’re jealous dude,”

 

“You’re not helping Samantha,”

 

“Look I think you’re overreacting, maybe Cas is not dating Charlie, maybe they’re just friends… why don’t you ask him?” Said Sam.

 

“What if he freaks out? Maybe he doesn’t wanna tell me… you know how he is sometimes,” Answered Dean.

 

“Then wait for him to tell you… you need to be supportive man, he’s your best friend and he’s never had a girlfriend before,”

 

“I know, I just… I freaked out man, this is weird,”

 

“Stop being an ass, think about him, he probably doesn’t know what to do, you should help him man, I mean, did Chuck ever give him the talk?” Sam was really worried about Cas’s wellbeing.

 

“Oh my God! I don’t know man… one problem at a time,” Sam was laughing now; at least Dean was a little more relaxed. “I gotta go Sammy, I told them I’ve forgotten my phone in the car, thanks for listening man,”

 

“Anytime Dean, please be nice to Cas and the girl, ok?”

 

“Yeah Sam, I’ll tell you if I find out anything,”

 

“Please do… goodbye,”

 

“Bye Sammy,” 

 

Dean walked back to his apartment, he didn’t rush it this time, he took his time and tried to clear his mind, Sam was right, he needed to be supportive with Cas… but it was weird, first there was the fact that Cas had always said that he didn’t see other people in that way, and second and more important, if Cas had decided to start dating now, why not Dean? _‘Now, you’re just being ridiculous Winchester… you can’t force him to love you man, just like you can’t force yourself to love Lisa’_ Dean froze after that thought,

 

“Fuck! My life is a mess,” He said out loud, his voice echoing in the lonely corridor. He turned around to make sure no one was looking at him, and after clearing his throat a couple of times and taking a deep breath, he resumed walking.

 

* * *

 

“Okay, the Salad is done,” Said Charlie placing a big blue bowl on the table, “ What else Mr. Ramsay?” Cas smiled at the comparison,

 

“I really doubt my cooking is as good as Mr. Ramsay’s… but thanks for the compliment… and, why don’t you help me grating the cheese? It’s in the fridge, top drawer,” Answered Cas while cooking the meat for the lasagna.

 

“Okay” Charlie grabbed the cheese from the fridge, and started opening drawers trying to find the cheese grater,

 

“Drawer to your left,” said Castiel, Charlie smiled and followed his instructions; Both kept cooking in a comfortable silence, soon Cas finished with the meat and started placing the pasta in a baking dish.

 

“I really like you Cas,” Said Charlie. Cas stopped assembling the lasagna and directed his attention to her, was Charlie flirting with him? She was a nice girl but he could never see her in that way, he was trying not to freak out, maybe she meant like a friend … “you remind me a lot of my ex,” continued Charlie interrupting his thoughts, Cas just kept looking at her, ”she was a lot like you, she had that same look you always have, you know? Like you come from another planet and it's your first time on Earth and you’re always wondering 'why?' and finding everything fascinating”.

 

Okay, so Charlie wasn’t trying to flirt with him, she was just being nice, also she was a lesbian and she thought he was from another planet. Charlie kept grating the cheese, Cas was very silent and she was worried that maybe his view of her would have changed after finding out that she liked girls.

 

“So you see me like an alien then? Which kind?” Said Castiel after a few seconds. Charlie was laughing like a maniac now,

 

“See? I just told you that I have an ex girlfriend… I literally came out to you and your first question is ‘which kind of alien am I?’ That’s why I like you Cas, you’re not like other people,”

 

“Well first of all, I think you’re a fascinating person, and I like hanging around with you because of your personality… People isn’t defined by their sexual orientation… I would never judge you because of that… if you told me that you liked Dolores Umbridge, on the other hand, then I would judge you,” Said Cas.

 

“I swear, if you were a girl, I would have asked for your hand in holy matrimony like 5 seconds ago,”

 

After that, both kept cooking and joking, waiting for Dean to return from the car.

 

* * *

 

Dean stood outside the apartment, he took a deep breath again and finally opened the door _‘ You can do this Winchester’_ he thought.

 

Charlie was laughing out loud when Dean entered the kitchen, her face was almost as red as her hair and she was trying really hard to stop laughing.

 

“Oh my God Cas… you’re killing me,” Said Charlie.

 

“I swear,” Said Cas a little blushed; he noticed Dean’s presence so he turned to him, “Dean can confirm it… I was telling Charlie about the lady next door,” Dean smiled and went to the fridge to grab a beer.

 

“Yup, I can confirm it, Mrs. ‘ 12 cats and counting’ totally has the hots for Cas, she’s always looking at him like she wants to eat him… and she totally has a thing for his ass,” Said Dean taking a sip of his beer.

 

Dean leaned on the kitchen counter, this Charlie girl seemed like a nice person actually, and Cas was having a nice time with her.

 

“Anyway, did you find your phone?” asked Cas,

 

“Oh… yeah, it was under my car seat… must’ve dropped it,” Answered Dean.

 

“Okay, Dinner is almost ready,” he turned on the oven's light to look at the lasagna.

 

“You wanna eat here or at the living room?” asked Dean.

 

“Well, that depends… do you guys happen to have any version of Mario Kart?” asked Charlie with a grin.

 

“All of them…” Said Dean and Cas at the same time.

 

“Okay, then living room it is,” Answered Charlie.

 

They ended up playing the wii version; they sat on the floor (Cas between both of his friends) and of Course Charlie won every single round (even after Dean insisted that his wii remote was broken or something, and he switched it with Charlie). When the timer announced that the lasagna was ready, they paused the game and put an episode of 'Adventure Time' on Netflix, so they still had dinner in the living room.

 

“So… Charlie, how did you get the job at Kraken?” Asked Dean after finishing his second slice of lasagna.

 

“I actually met Ash at a Comic con a couple of years ago, we talked about geeky stuff and computer codes and that stuff, and we had a really good time, he ended up hooking up with one of my friends actually… Anyway, we followed each other on twitter and talked sometimes. Last month I told him that I had just quit my job and he said that they were actually looking for someone at Kraken, so I packed my stuff and moved to Sioux Falls,” explained Charlie.

 

“Just like that?” Asked Dean.

 

“Yes, I don’t have a family, my ex moved to another country and I can always call or visit my friends so I just said ‘why the hell not?’ and left,”

 

“Wow…”

 

“Yeah… I’m already in love with my new life by the way, I love this place, I love my job and I love working with the guys, they’re pretty cool,” Said Charlie with a big smile.

 

“It’s an honor to work with you Charlie,” Said Castiel, he was handing a plate with salad to Dean (who made a face at the rabbit food but Cas ignored it).

 

“Dude, says the guy whose drawings are famous worldwide … I can’t believe I’m working with you,” Said Charlie sounding like a total fangirl. Cas blushed a little. Dean looked at her in shock; that was one of Castiel’s biggest secrets.

 

“Did you tell her?” Asked Dean.

 

“I kinda found out… you know? The drawings he has in his room,” Said Charlie sounding a little apologetic.

 

“Yeah, right of course,” Said Dean still in shock. Cas was felling a little uncomfortable, so he decided to intervene.

 

“She actually didn’t find out at first, she just thought my drawings seemed familiar … but then she met dad and well it was a little obvious actually,”

 

“You met Chuck?” Asked Dean, if Cas introduced her to his dad, things were probably getting serious.

 

“Yeah, we talked on face time, nice guy, a little jumpy,” Answered Charlie.

 

“Yeah, that’s Chuck,” Said Dean with a chuckle, he was trying really hard not to ask what was going on between Cas and Charlie.

 

“Pie anyone?” Asked Cas.

 

“Cas, did we meet each other yesterday or what?” Said Dean rolling his eyes. Cas smiled and handed Dean a plate with a huge slice of pecan pie.

 

“Thanks man,” Said Dean attacking his dessert and making pornographic sounds with every bite.

 

“You want us to leave you alone with the pie Dean?” Asked Charlie giggling.  Dean didn’t answer; he kept eating like he hadn’t eaten in days. Cas handed Charlie a slice of pie and grabbed one for him.

 

“This pie is awesome,” Said Charlie.

 

“This is nothing,” Said Dean, he was eyeing the pie, wondering if he would be able to eat another slice without exploding, “you need to try Gabe’s pies… it’s like tasting a slice of heaven,”

 

“Cas told me about him, we’re going to his bakery next week,” Said Charlie.

 

“You’re gonna love’em,” said Dean, he was starting to panic a little, was Cas going too fast with this girl? She seemed really nice but, c’mon he already introduced her to his dad, and now she was meeting Gabe, what was next? Were they getting married by the end of the year? He tried to shove all his thoughts to the back of his head; he could talk to Cas later, find out the truth and stop making up weird theories in his brain.

 

They finished their food (Dean decided to save some pie for breakfast), and Charlie helped Cas loading the dishwasher while Dean chose another videogame to play. He ended up turning on the PS3 and choosing Resident evil 6 because a) he was in no way losing against Charlie in another videogame, so they needed to play as a team and b) he could totally kill some zombies right now to clear up his mind. Five minutes later Cas and Charlie returned to the living room.

 

“Wow, you guys really do have all the consoles ever,” Said Charlie. They kept most of their consoles locked in a cabinet next to the TV; only the XBOX one was on the table with the TV all the time.

 

“Nah, we still need to buy the wii U, but we don’t even like the wii, we basically only use it to play Mario Kart, so we’ve been postponing that… and oh Yeah, our game cube had a little accident and we need to get a new one,” Answered Dean.

 

The three of them sat down on the floor again and played for a while, Charlie was awesome at this game too, so Dean decided that next time they played, he would definitely team up with her. Charlie started yawning and decided it was time to go home.

 

“Guys, I’m having a great time, but I gotta go home now, my bed is calling me,” said Charlie standing up.

 

“Okay, it was nice meeting you Charlie,” Said Dean, he paused the game and stood up as well, then he turned and helped Cas to get up too.

 

Cas walked to the door with Charlie, he helped her with her coat and then followed her down the hallway, they waited for the elevator together and after Charlie got in the elevator and the doors closed, Cas turned around and walked back to his apartment.

 

* * *

 

Dean waited for his friend to come back; he sat on the couch passing his hands nervously through his hair. He finally heard the door closing,

 

“Wanna play another round?” Asked Dean.

 

“Sure” Said Cas, this time both stayed on the couch; Dean started a new game and they played in silence for a few seconds.

 

“So… Charlie seems nice,” Said Dean, in a casual way.

 

“ Yes, she is, I like spending time with her”, Answered Cas focusing really hard on the screen, both kept silent after that for another minute.

 

“She’s nice to you too… she knows ‘bout the Aspergers?” Asked Dean, he knew it was a hard topic for Cas sometimes, but they were pretty relaxed right now, and Cas seemed like he wanted to talk.

 

“Yes, I told her on facebook when we met, she’s actually very respectful of that, she researched a lot about the subject, se respects my personal space when I need to and she’s pretty cool about it,” Answered Cas.

 

Ok, so the girl knew, and she didn’t care, she was nice to Cas, she really liked the guy… and even if it broke Dean’s heart to admit it, Cas seemed to like her as well.

 

“She reminds me of you a lot, you know?” Said Cas.

 

“Really? How so?” 

 

“Well, she is pretty nice to me, she loves pizza, is obsessed with Doctor Who, when she heard my ringtone her face was the same you make every time it sounds and you think the Doctor is coming for you… what else? Oh, she’s also a major Tolkien fan, she loves both Star Trek and Star Wars… hmmm Harry Potter of course… she loves her car, she likes to pretend she’s really tough but in the inside she really just wants to hug everyone,” Answered Cas with a little smile.

 

“Wait! Are you saying that I’m a freaking softie?” Dean paused the game and turned to look at his friend.

 

“You’re the one who wants to fix everything with cuddles,” Sais Cas.

 

“Okay then, no more cuddling… next time you feel sad I’ll throw a freaking box of nails at you… see if you call me a softie again,” Dean turned his face to the other side, pretending to be upset with his friends.

 

“Dean,” Cas stretched his hand and touched Dean’s shoulder lightly.

 

“Oh man… I’m kidding…” said Dean, throwing himself to Cas with his arms opened, they were both laughing hysterically now, Cas tried to push Dean but dean kept hugging him, after a few more attempts, Cas managed to throw Dean off the couch, but Dean grabbed him on the last minute and Cas ended up landing on top of Dean, his left knee hitting Dean right on the groin.

 

“Oh my… Fuck!” Yelled Dean. Cas stood up as fast as he could.

 

“Sorry Dean, I’m so sorry,” He didn’t know what to do; Dean was rolling on the floor, grabbing his crotch and his face was a bright shade of red.

 

“OHMYGODIMDYING!” said Dain, his voice sounding higher than usual.

 

“How can I help you? Dean I’m so sorry,” Cas was pretty scared, the only time he had hurt his friend like that, was when they were 10 and Bobby was trying to teach them to play baseball, it wasn’t a good memory.

 

Dean was trying to breathe, he was aware that he was making a fool of himself, but it really hurt. Cas turned around and left the room.

 

“No! Cas wait… Don’t freak out man!” Said Dean… this was a freaking mess.

 

Cas returned shortly with a bag of frozen peas and placed it between Dean’s legs. Dean felt better at the moment.

 

‘OMG, this feels great… also, bonus points, Cas has his hand pretty close to my…’

 

“Are you okay Dean?” Asked Cas interrupting Dean’s thoughts.

 

“Yeah man, remember me to never surprise hug you again though,”

 

“I’m sorry Dean”

 

“Hey, quit apologizing… I’m fine man,” They sat there in silence for a while; Dean could see that Cas was still feeling pretty guilty.

 

“So, you talked to Chuck today, then? Asked Dean trying to change the subject.

 

“Oh, right… his tour starts next week, he leaves next Wednesday,”

 

“What about thanksgiving?” Asked Dean, the pain was slowly going away and the frozen bag of peas was really helping.

 

“Well… I guess this year I’m thankful because I don’t have to see Michael on thanksgiving,” Said Cas with a smile.

 

“Awesome, I’ll tell Bobby tomorrow that you’re joining us,”

 

They sat there a little longer, talking about their day, eventually Dean felt good enough to stand up; he was still a little sore, but nothing an aspirin and a few hours of sleep couldn’t heal.

 

“Okay Cas, I think is time to go bed man… at least for me, Mr. 'I read books at 2 in the morning instead of sleeping' ”. Cas stood up as well and stretched his arms and back until he heard a loud pop.

 

“I’m actually tired, I did a lot of things today and I need to go early to the office tomorrow, we have a lot of work,”

 

“Okay then… bed time it is.”


	8. I’m not having a meltdown… I’ve been scarred for life, that’s all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean Can't sleep and he ends up thinking a lot about his past and his feelings for Cas.
> 
> This chapter is basically a flashback to Cas & Dean's life when they were 16. (Dean's POV)  
> Dean wants to confess his love for Cas, Hannah has a thing for Castiel and Cas just wants a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm back! I had a weird week, a freaking electric storm fucked my modem and my apple tv... and i had to spend a few days without my beloved wifi and netflix... everything's cool now so, here it is a new chapter. I hope you like it, i'll be posting a new one this week.... love you all and thanks for reading.
> 
> Again remember that English isn't my first language so i apologize for any mistake.

* * *

 

Dean was really tired, he had worked a lot that day and all he wanted to do was to sleep, but he couldn’t. He had tried everything at this point: drinking hot milk, exercising, taking a shower, he even climbed out of his window and smoked a couple of cigarettes on the fire escape, but it didn’t matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t sleep. 

The worst part of the insomnia, was not the fact that he was pretty tired and that he needed to rest, it was that his stupid brain had decided to play a recap of the events of the evening, the whole Cas and Charlie thing, and he didn’t want to think about that, he wasn’t ready.

Dean rolled over the bed and buried his face in his pillow. After a minute he turned around again, lying on his back; he kept his eyes fixed on the glowing stars that decorated his ceiling, (they had been there when they moved in, the landlord said they could take them off if they wanted to, but Dean actually liked them) and took a deep breath.

 “She’s nice and everything but, why not me?” whispered Dean. It had been the only real question since he found out about Charlie, he loved watching Castiel being happy, he really did… he only wished it was him the one to make him happy in that way. He felt a little betrayed actually, after all, Cas had spent basically his whole life saying “I don’t think I can see people that way,” whenever they talked about romantic relationships… and now, suddenly, he had a girlfriend. Dean chuckled, 

“At least it wasn’t that girl Hannah, ” he said. Dean kept staring at the ceiling, after mentioning Hannah’s name his mind couldn’t help but to go back to when they where 16…

 

* * *

 

**7 years ago…**

 

Dean was freaking out; he had almost kissed his best friend a couple of hours ago… He had come to terms with the fact that he was in love with Castiel a long time ago, it was like his best kept secret ever, and he was very good at keeping it like that… but they’ve never shared a moment like this before; maybe it was his imagination but he was pretty sure that Cas had wanted to kiss him too and that was the part that was freaking him out. This whole thing was a mess, what if Cas had feelings for him too? He had never told anyone that he likes boys as much as he likes girls… _‘maybe Cas hasn’t made a move because he thinks I’m straight’_.

 

“What’s eating your brains son?” Asked Bobby; Dean shook his head and turned around to finds his surrogate father leaning on the doorframe.

 

“Nothing Bobby… it’s just… can we talk?” Asked Dean a little nervous.

 

“Sure thing kiddo… where’s Cas? Thought he would hang around with you the whole day,” Said Bobby while sitting on the bed next to Dean.

 

“He had to go home, Chuck called a family meeting or something,” Bobby just gave a small nod,

 

“Okay son, what do you want to talk about?” Dean cleared his throat and drummed his fingers on the mattress nervously. He knew he could trust Bobby, but he was still worried.

 

“Well… hum, you see… I hmmm… I really like **LIKE** someone and well… I, I’m not sure what to do, should I tell them? I don’t know if they feel the same way about me, I mean sometimes I think they do but I’m not sure… and well, we kinda had a moment this morn… I mean, the other day and, well I’m not usually this nervous when it comes to these things, but I think I’ve never liked someone like this before,” Dean’s face was completely red at the end of his speech and he kept drumming his fingers nervously on the mattress. Bobby kept quiet for a few seconds before giving an answer,

 

“I see… so why aren’t you sure if this person feels the same about you? Usually you teenagers are pretty good at showing those kind of things,” Asked Bobby; Dean was trying really hard to describe his crush without giving away that a) it was a boy and b) it was Cas. But after thinking for a few seconds, he realized that he needed to tell Bobby the truth.

 

“Okay Bobby… I, need to tell you something… I guess I should have started with this…” Dean was sweating a lot by this point, “please don’t be upset okay? Because I know that if I ever told Dad something like this he would probably shoot me on the knee or something,”

 

“Jesus kid, you’re scaring me… what’s going on?" Asked Bobby a little worried.

 

“Well this person I’m talking about … is a boy…” Said Dean with his eyes fixed on the floor. Bobby didn’t say anything, and Dean was really worried that he might’ve upset him.

 

“I’m sorry,” Said Dean.

 

“What? You’re sorry for being gay? Are you crazy?” Said Bobby finally. Dean looked up in shock.

 

“I think I’m actually Bi,” Said Dean.

 

“Look son, there’s not a single day that I don’t feel thankful with your stupid father for leaving you and your brother with me, you’re the best damn thing that have ever happened to this old man and if you really think that I would get upset or that I would stop loving you because you happen to like boys too, then you don’t know me at all Dean Winchester…”

 

“Thank you Bobby,” Said Dean giving his surrogate father a hug, Bobby hugged him back and they stayed like that for a while.

 

“So, you were telling me about your massive crush on this boy,” Said Bobby, he let Dean go but kept a hand on Dean’s shoulder.

 

“Yes, well… I don’t know what to do,”

 

“I take it you don’t know if this kid also likes boys, right?”

 

“Bobby, to be honest, sometimes I’m not even sure he’s human,” Said Dean joking. Bobby looked at him for a few seconds, his eyes wide in realization.

 

“Well, you know how Cas is, he wont get it if you try sending hints, you need to ask him directly or you wont know for sure,” Said Bobby with a little smirk.

 

“Fuck! How did you…? Am I that obvious? Crap, I’m gonna throw myself from the roof if you excuse me,” Answered Dean flustered.

 

“Calm down kid, you’re not that obvious I just guessed when you said he wasn’t human… also, you look at his ass a lot,” Said Bobby joking.

 

“OH MY GOD!” Dean was covering his face with his hands now.

 

“I was just kidding Dean… you should ask him though,”

 

“You think?” Said Dean uncovering his face.

 

“Of course… what if he likes you back and you guys end up together?”

 

Bobby stood up and gave Dean a pat on the shoulder.

 

“Whatever you decide to do kiddo, I’m with you 100% okay?”  Said Bobby walking to the door.

 

“Okay, thanks for listening Bobby… and you know, for everything,”

 

“Anytime son,” Answered Bobby with a smile, “Now I’m gonna check if that brother of yours gave that freaking dog a bath”. Bobby left the room, and Dean kept staring at the door, he had the best dad in the world.

 

 

It took Dean almost two weeks, but he finally summoned the courage to talk with Cas about his feelings, it was a Thursday, usually Cas would be studying, but this week his father was out of town so Cas was skipping his studying session. They where sitting on Dean’s bed, Cas drawing and Dean reading the hobbit (again). Dean was getting really nervous and he was pretty sure that he had already read the same sentence at least ten times, so this was it, the moment of truth, now or never…

 

“Cas, I needed to tell you something,” Said Dean closing his book. Cas kept his attention on his drawing,

 

“Yes Dean?” Said Cas.

 

“Hmm… it’s kinda important you know? Could you please stop drawing?” Cas put down his pencil and notebook and turned to his right so he could face Dean.

 

“Okay… what is it Dean? Are your okay?” Asked Castiel worried.

 

“Yeah… I just, well… I’ve been thinking and… well, I was wondering if…”

 

“Hi guys, what are you doing?” Sam decided to enter the room in that exact moment, interrupting Dean’s speech.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be at you freaking drama club or something?” Asked Dean a little upset.

 

“Got cancelled, Mrs. Beckett’s water broke in front of the whole class,” Sam pulled a chair and sat close to the bed.

 

“That’s disgusting man,” Said Dean.

 

“I know… Evan Anderson threw up actually,” The three friends sat in silence for a while; Sam had totally killed the mood.

 

“So anyway, Cas,” Said Sam breaking the silence “Do you remember my friend Inias?” 

 

“Not really,” Said Cas.

 

“The one who fell from the bike and broke his arm on my last birthday,”

 

“Oh, yes, I remember… why?”

 

“Well, he has a sister, her name is Hannah… she works in that comic book store at the mall… and she’s seen you a lot of times, last week she found out that you’re friends with us, so she asked Inias to ask me to ask you for your phone number…”

 

“I see,” said Castiel calmly.

 

Dean was looking at his friend in shock, was a random girl making a move on Cas before he had a chance?

 

“So…” Said Sam.

 

“Well, I’m flattered by this girl’s interest but… I don’t think I can reciprocate the feeling,”

 

“But Cas, you don’t even know her… you should give it a try man, she seems nice,”

 

“Leave him alone Sammy, we’ve seen that girl before… maybe she’s just not his type,” Said Dean, he really wanted to kill his brother right now.

 

“Sorry Cas, Dean’s right,”

 

“It’s okay Sam,” Answered Cas with a little smile, Dean was glad that the subject was ending there, or at least that was what he thought until his stupid brother opened his mouth again.

 

“So, what’s your type of girl Cas? Maybe we know someone we could introduce you to… my friend Cole has a sister your age,” Said Sam, Dean was battling hard between a facepalm, killing his brother or throwing a pillow at Cas’s face…

 

“Well Sam, actually… I don’t think I can reciprocate that felling to any girl,” Answered Cas. Dean was ecstatic, he wanted to get up and start jumping on his fucking bed, Cas had just admitted that he didn’t like girls, it was the best news ever and… “… Or boy, I don’t think I can feel attracted to any gender,”

 

 _‘What’_ Dean was screaming internally, the last ten minutes of his life had been like a freaking roller coaster, _‘did Cas just say that he doesn’t like neither girls nor boys?’_

 

“What do you mean?” Asked Sam curiously

 

“Well, just like that… I can’t feel attraction to any gender, I can’t,”

 

“So you’re never gonna have a girlfriend or a boyfriend? ... You’re never getting married?”

 

“Nope… never,” Said Cas shaking his head. Dean wanted to run and don’t stop until his feet were bleeding, he wanted to burry himself in his blankets and stay in bed until college, what the hell was going on?

 

“Are you okay Dean?” Asked Cas.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine… is just that… wow, you’ve never told me that before,”

 

“I’m sorry… I actually came to that conclusion a few weeks ago, after researching a little online… I hope this doesn’t change things between us,” Said Cas a little worried.

 

“Of course it doesn’t change anything Cas… is not like we wanted to marry you or something like that, we hang out with you because you’re a cool friend,” Said Sam.

 

 _‘Speak for yourself Samantha’_ thought Dean.

 

“Sammy’s right man, you’re our friend no matter what,” Said Dean smiling, he needed to show support to his friend.

 

“Well guys, I’ve got a lot of homework, so I better go to my room… I’ll tell Inias tomorrow that you’re not interested in his sister Cas,” Said Sam, he put the chair back on his place before leaving the room.

 

“Thank you Sam,” Said Cas. Dean and his best friend remained silent until they heard the sound of Sam’s door being closed.

 

“So, what were you going to tell me Dean?” Asked Cas.

 

“What?”  Asked Dean surprised.

 

“Before Sam interrupted us, you had something important to tell me,”

 

Oh, right, he had convinced Cas to skip his freaking studying session to confess his feelings for him, but now that he knew about Cas, it was basically a suicidal mission to tell him the truth…

 

“Dean?”

 

“Oh right… hmm… I just, I wanted to tell you that… well… that I like boys too… I’m bi,” Said Dean, he wasn’t planning on coming out like that, it was actually a shitty ‘coming out speech’, but it was the first thing that came to his mind with the pressure of the moment. Cas didn’t say a word, he just giggled a little and closed his eyes.

 

“Cas? Something wrong?” Asked Dean. Cas opened his eyes.

 

“No Dean, I just think that sometimes the universe acts in mysterious ways…”

 

“Why because we both decided to sort of come out on the same day?” Asked Dean.

 

“Yes… that’s why,”

 

 

Dean’s life was going to hell after what he would call the ‘almost kiss day’… ever since that moment, he found himself acting like a freaking idiot every time Cas did something. It was stupid really, but all he could do was think about Cas, like all those years of self training to act like everything was cool went to hell the moment he almost kissed Cas.

 

Nothing had change really, except that now he knew that Castiel could never reciprocate his feelings, and it was hard, this was the first time that someone had broken his heart… and it sucked.

 

It had been exactly 3 weeks since that day. Dean was alone at his house. Bobby was at his monthly poker meeting with his hunting friends and Sam was at a sleepover. Dean was feeling lonely, he thought of calling Cas, but then he started feeling butterflies in his stomach just by thinking of his best friend.

 

“This is ridiculous,” Said Dean out loud. He was feeling like shit, he wanted to go back to when they were eight and they could spend the whole day playing at the park without worries. Instead, he was a 16-year-old boy who had to focus really hard to not get a boner every time Cas did something as simple as looking at him.    

 

After a lot of sulking, Dean got out of his bed, he had reached a conclusion: if he couldn’t control the stupid butterflies, he was gonna drown those bitches in booze. It was stupid actually, Dean tried to justify his actions by thinking that his dad had raised them that way, good old John Winchester was an expert when it came to drowning his pain in alcohol; even Bobby liked to drink a lot, he wasn’t a violent alcoholic like his dad but the man had a cabinet loaded with booze. Dean headed to the living room, he opened the cabinet and grabbed the first bottle he saw, it was rum, he didn’t even bother on using a glass, he just opened the bottle and started drinking.

 

It tasted horrible, his throat was burning and his stomach started to feel weird. He couldn’t understand why an adult would like this shit, it was awful; he had drunk a few beers with Bobby before and those were nice, but this stuff was disgusting. After a few more sips he started to realize why his father depended on alcohol so much… his brain was like floating, he was just giggling, sitting on the floor, drinking from a bottle and everything was fine.

 

That was the day Dean Winchester learned that after half a bottle of rum, he became one of those crying drunks. He didn’t even know how it happened, one moment he was there, lying on the floor with a stupid smile on his face and the next one he was a sobbing mess.

 

“What if he’s lying? … What if he said that just to get rid of that stupid girl,” Said Dean out loud, “Why can’t he love me back? I love him so fucking much!!” He took another sip from the bottle.

 

“I should totally go to his place and ask him,” Dean got up slowly, the room was spinning a lot and it was hard to walk straight, he tripped a few times but finally he was able to reach the door, suddenly the door opened itself.

 

“What the hell?” Asked Dean.

 

“That’s exactly what I was asking myself… what the hell are you doing Dean? Where are you going this late? Are you crying?” Bobby was standing in front of him looking really concerned. Dean threw himself at Bobby and gave him a big hug,

 

“I’m a mess Bobby… I just… I love him so fucking much,” Said Dean between sobs.

 

“What are you talking about kid? What happened? Wait… Are you drunk?” Bobby went from really worried to really pissed in like 5 seconds.

 

Dean let go of his uncle and stepped back,

 

“Hmmm… nope… well… maybe,” Said Dean rubbing his eyes.

 

Bobby got in the house and dragged Dean to the living room with him, “Sit,” Said Bobby pointing at the couch. Dean did as he was told.

 

“First of all Dean… what the hell did you drink?” Asked Bobby,

 

“Rum”

 

“Damn it kid, are you trying to kill me?” Bobby was standing in front of Dean; he removed his cap and passed his hand through his hair.

 

“Why would you do it son? Didn’t I tell you to come to me if you wanted to talk?" Bobby sat next to Dean; he was trying really hard not to yell at the boy.

 

“It’s just… well, I was feeling lonely and then I thought about Cas and… oh god, I’m so screwed Bobby, why did I have to fall in love with him?” Dean was crying again. Bobby hugged him, they stayed like that for a while, Dean kept crying and Bobby just kept repeating, “It’s okay son,” and patting Dean on the back.

 

“Look son… I know this sucks, but remember that Cas is your best friend too, you can’t let this situation screw with your friendship… I know it’s horrible when you love someone and they don’t love you back… you need to let go Dean, you need to respect him and move forward son, you can’t keep asking yourself ‘what if’ because you’re gonna lose your mind,”

 

“I know someday I’ll be laughing at this… I’ll have a family and Cas will still be my best friend and I will say ‘you know what Cas? I had a massive crush on you when we were 16’ and we’re gonna laugh and joke about it… but right now Bobby, it really hurts,” Said Dean.

 

“That’s the spirit son… in the meantime you have your family to rely on, not a stupid bottle of rum… which reminds me, you should go to bed Dean, tomorrow you’re gonna feel like shit and I need to plan a nice punishment for you kid,” Said Bobby with a smirk.

 

“Oh, c’mon Bobby… isn’t the unrequited love and the possible hangover enough torture?”

 

“Nice try son, but no… I promise you I’ll get creative,” Bobby Stood up and helped Dean to his room, Dean wanted to argue, but suddenly his bed was calling him and he let the sleep take him.

 

 

It had taken Dean almost two months to master once again the art of ‘pretending I’m not in love with my best friend,’ but he could finally say that he was doing fine, it was hard sometimes, but Cas was still Cas, and they were still best friends… he was happy with having at least that.

 

It was the last week of classes before summer break; Dean was sitting at his desk finishing a history essay when he heard his favorite phrase in the world,

 

“Hello Dean,” Said Cas sitting on Dean’s bed.

 

“Hi Cas, I’m almost done with this shit… just another paragraph and then we can watch a movie,” Said Dean, he was so focused on his homework that he didn’t notice the state of his friend. Suddenly Dean heard it, Cas was breathing really fast, Dean turned around to find a highly blushed Castiel scratching his left hand and rocking on the mattress.

 

“God! Cas are you okay? What happened?” Dean left his sit and stood in front of Cas.

 

Cas just sat there, his breathing still fast.

 

“Okay man, you need to calm down, are you having a meltdown, do you want me to call Chuck?”

 

“NO” said Cas out loud, “I’m not having a meltdown… I just, I’ve been scarred for life, that’s all,” He stopped scratching his hand and he was breathing better now, but he kept rocking.

 

“Then what happened?”

 

“Is that Hannah girl, I don’t know how but she got my phone number a few days ago… she’s been calling and texting me all week long … and well, I told her that I wasn’t interested, she said that I obviously was playing hard to get and that she liked it…” Cas was blushing again.

 

“What’s wrong with her? … Gosh, hasn't she heard of the word NO?”

 

“Well the point is that this afternoon Gabriel and I went to the mall trying to find a present for dad’s birthday… and he wanted to go into the comic book store, I asked him to make sure that Hannah wasn’t there, but he checked and said that there weren’t any girls at the store,” Cas explained. “ We went into the store and I was just browsing the shelves as usual, when suddenly…” Cas’s face went a bright shade of red. Dean just kept staring,

 

“Suddenly what Cas?” asked Dean,

 

“Someone grabbed my… my ass,”

 

“What?” Asked Dean pretty upset,

 

“I turned around and it was Hannah! She was smiling and she winked at me and I… well, I shoved her… I wasn’t thinking I just freaked out… she grabbed my ass Dean!” Cas sounded mortified,

 

“ Dude, you did the right thing… no one should touch you if you don’t wanna,” Said Dean,

 

“Well I pushed her really hard and she fell and then started yelling at me and everybody in the store was looking at us… the manager wanted to throw us out... it was horrible… I was basically hyperventilating,”

 

“What the fuck man? It wasn’t your fault,”

 

“Gabriel saved the day of course… though he lied … he told them that Dad is a lawyer… he said that we would sue them because I am autistic and that girl attacked me and well, you know how Gabriel is, after 5 minutes they even gave us a few comics for free and a couple of coupons,” Dean was laughing now,

 

“Sometimes your brother is pretty cool,” said Dean. “What did Hannah do?”

 

“She was upset, she called me a freak for not wanting her…. She also called me a fag,” Cas was sad now, and Dean hated watching him like that,

 

“Dude, she’s a bitch… she’s just upset because you don’t want her… don’t let her words hurt you man… Want a hug?” Castiel nodded and Dean sat next to him giving him a big hug.

 

“Thank you Dean”

 

“Any time buddy.” 

* * *

  **Present time:**

 

Cas entered the kitchen to find a pretty sleepy Dean resting his head on the table, a cup of coffee next to him,

 

“Dean? Are you okay?”, Dean lifted his head, his eyes were red and he had bags under his eyes, he looked like shit.

 

“Didn’t get any shut eye… I feel like my brain’s gonna melt any time now,”

 

“Were you sick or something?” Castiel was really concerned; he approached his friend.

 

“ Nah man, I just couldn’t sleep… had a lot in my mind… job stuff you know?”

 

“Oh… Okay, I’m sorry you didn’t sleep”

 

“It’s okay Cas… it wasn’t your fault,” Said Dean with a shrug.

 

 _‘I’s not your fault that I can’t stop thinking about you’_ he thought.


	9. I was so in the freaking closet that I was best friends with Aslan back then.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has another "family Saturday" (this time without Michael); Dean and Bobby meet with the guys at Kraken to talk about the website for their garage; Cas goes to Charlie's place and learns a lot about her past and Dean's feelings are a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! I was planning on uploading this chapter earlier on the week but my family came to visit and i had to be their 'tourist guide' around the city... They're gone now so i'm back to being alone, hopefully I will be able to upload later this week. I hope you like this chapter, on the next one Dean finally asks Cas about his relationship with Charlie and tries to give him 'the talk'.
> 
> Again thanks for reading, I love you all and remember that english isn't my first language.

* * *

It was a weird week for Dean, he kept wondering if Cas was dating Charlie. He knew it was simple _‘just fucking ask him’_ he kept repeating himself… but it was easier to think it than to ask the freaking question. He didn’t want to upset Cas… what if he wasn’t ready to talk about it? But most important, what if Cas confirmed it? He didn’t want to hear that Cas was dating someone.

 

His mood kept getting worst during the week, by Friday he had already fought with Lisa two times, and everyone at the garage kept their distance with him after he yelled at Alfie for dropping a screwdriver.

 

Cas, like every time Dean was upset, kept blaming himself and trying to do anything to improve his friend’s mood; he would bake pies, let Dean pick the movies to watch and even clean the apartment, and of course this behavior from Cas made Dean feel like shit, because Cas was such an awesome person and he loved the guy so much… and he was being a jerk, but he couldn’t help it, he didn’t even know why he was upset, he just was.

 

Saturday morning came and Cas was in front of the mirror trying to comb his messy hair; his bed kept calling him back, it looked all cozy and warm… He gave up with his hair and decided to leave the room _‘I’m sorry bed’_ he thought.

 

Dean wasn’t up yet, which meant that Cas would have to walk to his Dad’s house or take the bus; he wasn’t a big fan of public transportation but he didn’t want to wake Dean up, he had been acting weird the whole week. Cas went to the kitchen and started the coffeemaker for Dean, then he grabbed a post-it and wrote a note for his friend:

 

**Dean,**

**You were asleep so I decided to walk to Dad’s,**

**Have a nice day.**

**Remember we have an appointment at Kraken at 5.**

**Cas**

 

He placed the note on the coffeemaker, and after grabbing his jacket and his keys he left the apartment.

 

Chuck’s house wasn’t that far actually, 30 minutes walking, tops, and the exercise would be good to help Cas to wake up. It was pretty cold outside, the winter was getting closer and he could tell it would be a cold one, but he loved that kind of weather so he welcomed the cold air with a smile… He put his hands on his jacket’s pockets and began walking.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Cas entered the Novak’s kitchen,

 

“Hi little brother! How you doing? Did Dean-o drop you off?” Asked Gabriel while eating some bacon.

 

“Hi, sorry I’m late… I overslept… Yes Gabriel, Dean gave me a ride,” He almost told them the truth, but then they would have asked why didn’t he drive and he didn’t want to talk about it yet, it was easier to tell a little lie.  Cas sat at his usual place, today Michael wasn’t present and Cas was really happy because of that.

 

Gabe stood up and walked to the stove,

 

“Today we’re having omelets… cheese and peppers okay?” Asked Gabe,

 

“Yes, thank you Gabriel,”

 

“How was your week son?” Asked Chuck, he looked like he’d already have 3 cups of coffee.

 

“It was fine, our new project is a website for a pizza parlor… we’re getting a lot of free pizza,”

 

“Wow Cas, living the dream,” Said Gabe,

 

“How about the garage, how’s that going?” Asked Chuck.

 

“We’re done with the website and the software… actually today we’re showing it to Bobby and Dean,”

 

“So… do you have a date for the re-opening then?” 

 

“Yes, two weeks from today… we’ll send you an invitation,” Chuck went silent for a while; he looked like he was doing math in his head.

 

“Oh Crap, I’ll still be on my tour… I’m sorry Cas… maybe I could move some dates,”

 

“No dad, it’s fine… The garage will be there when you come back, we’ll give you a private tour if you want,”

 

“I wanted to be there for your special day son,” Said Chuck apologetic.

 

“Dad, is not my special day… I’m barely involved in the management of the place,”

 

“Castiel, you made an investment on that garage… there’s part of you in that project… is like your baby…” Said Chuck, he was very proud of his son.

 

“Well, don’t say I never gave you grandchildren,” Said Cas.

 

“Oh c’mon you’ll give me plenty of grandkids…”

 

“Dad, please… don’t,” Said Castiel, he hated when his dad tried to talk about that.

 

“What about that girl you introduced me to the other day? Charlie? She seems nice.”

 

Gabriel returned to the table and placed a plate with an omelet and a cup of tea in front of Castiel.

 

“Wow Cas… you got a girlfriend?”

 

“She’s not my girlfriend… we’re just friends… you two are so annoying sometimes,”

 

“We just worry about your future son,”

 

“Well don’t… I’ve already told you a thousand times father, I don’t want a girlfriend and I don’t want kids… I’m fine by my own,” Cas was pretty upset now,

 

“I’m sorry son… I just thought you might have changed your mind, you’ve never introduced me to a girl before,”

 

“Well, I’m sorry I gave you the wrong impression, but Charlie is just a friend, she works at Kraken with me and we have a lot in common but we’re not dating…”

 

“Okay son, is nice you’re making new friends though,” Said Chuck, he was obviously trying to drop the subject.

 

They all went silent after that, only the sound of the cutlery against the dishes could be heard, it was a little awkward.

 

“Speaking of girlfriends… did you know that our beloved Michael is dating a girl from his office?” Said Gabriel interrupting the silence.

 

“Really?” Asked Chuck, “How do you know?”

 

“I heard him talking to her on the phone last week, it was weird… I thought he was drunk at first… but he was actually being nice to someone for the first time in his life … the poor girl doesn’t know what she’s getting into… I mean, what can you even like about that guy? His wide collection of ties and gray suits?”

 

“Wow… I can’t believe that someone actually likes Michael enough to willingly spend time with him,” Said Cas with a smirk.

 

“Oh c’mon guys…”

 

“Can you imagine Michael being in love? ...” Asked Gabriel.

 

“Well he seems to love the guy in the mirror a lot,” Said Cas.

 

“I’ll talk to him… maybe he’ll bring her for Christmas,” Said Chuck

 

“Oh my God! That would be awesome… he would have to be nice with us for once… act like he’s a nice brother in front of this girl… I’m gonna buy him the ugliest Christmas sweater that I can find as a Christmas present… oh God, this is gonna be the best Christmas ever,” Gabe was really exited, Chuck just smiled and shook his head.

 

“Gabriel son, sometimes I swear you’re still 10 years old…”

 

* * *

 

 

Dean woke up to the sound of ‘smoke on the water’ blasting on his phone. He turned around and answered it without looking who was calling.

 

“Hello?” Said Dean with a husky voice,

 

“Morning son, how ya’ doing?” Asked Bobby,

 

“m’fine Bobby… what’s up?” Replied Dean while sitting up on the bed,

 

“Hey son, I’m pretty sure I wrote down the time of our meeting today but I can’t remember where I put it… I can’t remember if it is at 5 or 6… can you ask Cas?”

 

“Sure thing Bobby… wait a minute,” Dean stood up and left his room, the apartment smelled like coffee; he knocked on Cas’s door and after a few seconds he opened it.

 

“Cas?” Asked Dean, there was no one in the room. Dean turned around and walked to the kitchen,

 

“Cas, man are you in here? Bobby wants to ask you something,” Cas wasn’t there either but he saw that the coffeemaker was on and that it had a post-it note attached to it. Dean approached to the coffeemaker and he grabbed the note,

 

“Fuck… he left already, what time is it?”

 

“11:34 Dean, where you still sleeping?” Asked Bobby,

 

“Yeah man, I forgot to set my alarm… Cas left a note though, apparently he walked to Chuck’s… also the meeting is at 5.”

 

“I’m gonna guess he’s not ready to drive yet, then”… Replied Bobby a little concerned,

 

“Crap Bobby, I’m the worst friend ever… I have to call him, see you at 5, don’t forget it,”

 

“I wont, see you latter son,” Dean hanged the phone and decided to grab a nice cup of coffee before calling Cas, he felt like a shitty friend, Cas had baked 3 freaking pies for him this week and he had forgotten to drive him to his dad’s. After a few sips from his coffee Dean dialed Cas’s number.

 

“Hello Dean” Answered Cas,

 

“Hey man! I just woke up… I’m so sorry why didn’t you wake me man?” Asked Dean,

 

“Wait a minute Dean, I don’t have good reception in this part of the house,” Answered Cas; Dean waited for a few seconds, he could hear the sound of a door being opened and then closed,

 

“Okay, now I can talk…. It’s fine Dean, I walked, is not a big deal… you know I love this weather… but I had to tell my Dad and my brother that you drove me,” Said Cas,

 

“Man, I’m so sorry… I’ll pick you up for the meeting, 4:30 okay?”

 

“Are you sure? I can ask Gabe to drive me,”

 

“Nah man, it's totally cool, I’ll pick you up, I promise,”

 

“Okay Dean, see you later then,”

 

“See ya Cas.”

 

* * *

 

At 4:25 Cas was already sitting on the porch with Gabe. They had spent the whole day talking about his dad’s tour and Michael’s new girlfriend. At exactly 4:30 they could hear the rumble of the impala getting closer to the house.

 

“Here comes the boyfriend,” Said Gabriel with a smirk, Cas just rolled his eyes. Both brothers stood up and said their goodbyes; Dean had parked outside the house and kept waiting for Cas in the Car.

 

The drive to Kraken was nice, Dean told Cas about his day (he talked on the phone with Lisa and they were having a date that same night) and Cas told him about Michael’s possible girlfriend. Dean was just as surprised to hear the news as Cas.

They parked outside Kraken (after stopping to get some froyo) and then entered the building.

 

“It’s kinda weird coming to your office” Said Dean,

 

“It’s kinda weird having you here,” replied Cas.

 

It was a Saturday afternoon so there was no one at the reception; they headed upstairs and kept eating their desserts. It was a little early but Charlie was already there talking with Kevin.

 

“Hi guys” Said Kevin, Charlie gave Cas a big smile and jumped out of the couch to hug him,

 

“Cas!” She let him go and gave a few steps back, “Oh, sorry I didn’t meant to invade your personal space… it’s just…. Is really nice to see you! I’ve got a lot to tell you,” Said Charlie.

 

“It’s okay Charlie… I like to be hugged sometimes,” Answered Cas, “what do you want to tell me?”

 

“I’ll tell you later, maybe we can grab something to eat after the meeting,” Said Charlie with a big smile,

 

“Oh, hi Dean, how are you?” Asked her,

 

“Hi, Charlie I’m fine thanks… ready for the meeting?” He was feeling a little awkward; did she just ask Cas out? They were totally dating…

 

“Absolutely… have you meet my friend Kevin over here?” Said Charlie,

 

“Not really, I’ve heard a lot of you though, you’re the one who beat Ash at a freaking videogame, you’re my hero man,” Said Dean looking at Kevin,

 

“Yeah, that’s me… though now Charlie has kicked all of our asses on at least five different games, so I’m no longer that impressive,”

 

“Been there buddy.”

 

“We should form a club,” said Cas.

 

They kept talking for a while, Dean liked Kevin, he was a nice addition to the team and he seemed like a really smart guy, after a while Ash and Benny showed up and when Bobby arrived they all went to the conference room to show him and Dean the new website and software for the garage.

 

It all went pretty cool, Bobby loved what they did with the website and the new software was easy to use and it would totally make things easier at the garage. Now they had a digital inventory, they could keep the records of all of their clients and save appointments for a car’s next service.

 

“Back in my day we didn’t have stuff like this guys, I’m telling you, this is going to make my life way easier,” Said Bobby with a big smile,

 

“Bobby, back in your day Henry Ford wasn’t even born yet,” Said Dean with a smirk; they all laughed until Bobby gave Dean a smack on the head,

 

“Watch it kid,” Said Bobby with a serious expression, everyone went silent except for Cas, who knew Bobby was just joking,

 

“So, Bobby… did you like our job then?” he asked,

 

“Of course son, thanks a lot really, for everything… you helped us with the money to upgrade the shop, and now this… I’m really proud of you son,” Bobby ruffled Castiel’s hair and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

 

* * *

 

 

After saying goodbye to everyone, Cas and Charlie left together,

 

“Wow… did Cas just leave with a beautiful girl to have dinner?” Asked Bobby a little impressed; he and Dean were sitting next to each other in the lounge area of the studio,

 

“Yes,” said Dean with a worried face,

 

“Are they dating?”

 

“Honestly Bobby, I don’t wanna know,” said Dean while passing a hand through his hair,

 

“Are you jealous son?”

 

“Oh, shut up Bobby! ... I gotta go, I have a date tonight,” Dean stood up, said a quick goodbye to everyone and left the place.

 

 

* * *

 

Charlie opened the door to her apartment, it was a small colorful place, full of posters, action figures and as she would call it “geeky stuff”.

 

"So, here it is… welcome to my MTV cribs,” said Charlie while showing Cas in,

 

“I like it… is very you,” said Cas with a smile, he walked to the dinning table and placed on it the takeaway they’ve bought on their way to Charlie’s.

 

“Thank you,” Said Charlie, she walked to her small kitchen and grabbed a couple of plates and glasses for their dinner. They both sat at the table, and had dinner together,

 

“Wow Cas, you were totally right, this kebabs are the best I’ve ever had,” Said Charlie, Cas just kept eating and gave her a little smile; they kept eating in a nice silence, too busy with their delicious dinner to start a conversation; Cas was curious, he liked spending time with Charlie, but she had invited him over because she wanted to tell him something, what was it?

 

“So… you said you had something to tell me,” said Cas,

 

“Yeah, I kinda needed to talk to someone and you’re the only friend I have to be honest…”

 

“Are you okay Charlie?” Asked Castiel concerned,

 

“Yeah is just… remember I told you about my ex, Gilda?” Asked Charlie,

 

“Yes, I remember,”

 

“Well, she texted me last night,” Charlie looked confused, she seemed happy but Cas could tell that she was also hurt.

 

“Isn’t it a good thing? You said that you love her and you miss her,”

 

“And I do… is just that, we haven’t talked since she left… it’s been 7 months since she moved to freaking England… I’m starting a new life, I’m finally doing ok and she decides it’s the perfect time to show up in my life again… It is just… argggg,”

 

“So, you’re happy because she texted but you’re upset because she waited so long,” said Cas curiously,

 

“Basically” Said Charlie with a sigh, she wiped her hand with a napkin and then placed it on her plate,

 

“What does she want?”

 

“She said she misses me, and that it’s been really hard to her, she wants to talk to me… she wants to see me,”

 

“Do you want to?” Both of them stood up and placed the dirty dishes on the kitchen, Charlie opened the fridge and grabbed a huge chocolate ice cream container, she then grabbed two spoons from a drawer and signaled Castiel to follow her to the couch,

 

“It’s complicated… she said that she could move back to the States if that’s what I want… and for a long time that’s what I wanted… when she said she was leaving, I asked her to stay but she said she couldn’t leave her family, so we ended it, because I knew that if she stayed here, she wouldn’t be happy without them… what if she moves back with me and she is unhappy because she misses them?” Charlie took a spoonful of ice cream,

 

“And why didn’t you leave with her?” Asked Castiel, to him it seemed like an obvious solution; Charlie took a deep breath,

 

“Okay Cas, I’m about to tell you the sad sad story of Charlie Bradbury… nobody in the office knows about it, so let’s just keep it a secret ok? I don’t like people feeling pity for me,” Said Charlie,

 

“Of course,”

 

“Well I won’t go into details because I invited you over tonight to talk about my stupid love life, not about my tragic childhood, but you need to know this before I proceed with mi situation with Gilda… anyway… when I was 12 my parents were in a car accident, some drunk idiot crashed against their car… my dad died right there, but my mom didn’t… they took her to the hospital but then they found out that she had a lot of brain damage… she spent the rest of her life in a coma,” Charlie was waiting for Cas to look at her with pity, but he just kept staring at her with a neutral face, so she kept telling her story,

 

“I didn’t have anyone else except for my grandma, so I had to move in with her, It wasn’t that bad, she took care of me and she was nice most of the time… it was hard to see my mom like that, for a long time I didn’t want to see her, but after a while I would visit every Friday and read something to her. Like I told you, my nana was a nice person, I mean she raised me and I’ll always be thankful for that, but she was an homophobic bitch… she would always talk shit about any gay person she knew, she said that they were sinners and that God would punish them… so of course I had to keep my sexual preferences a secret, I was so in the freaking closet that I was best friends with Aslan back then,” Castiel smirked at her friend’s joke,

 

“I didn’t have a girlfriend until I went to college, a nice girl called Jenna, we shared a couple of classes and I really liked her, on my first Christmas break I invited her over, we spent an awesome time together, and nana really liked her… until of course she caught us kissing in the living room on Christmas morning… after that, she threw me out of the house obviously, she called me a sinner and a lot of shitty names; like I said I wont get into details but yeah, I didn’t see my nana again after that… so I went back to college, Jenna dumped me, I dated a couple of other girls and then on my last year I met Gilda, we became friends first, I don’t know how it happened but suddenly we were in love and we got together and it was awesome… until we finished school, her father got transferred to London and she decided to go with them, she said she didn’t believe in long distance relationships so she asked me to go with her, but I couldn’t… I couldn’t leave my mom alone… who would read to her every Friday? ”

 

Cas kept looking at her, by this point the ice cream was almost finished,

 

“I told her that I couldn’t leave my mom… and she left anyway… the six months after that were the worst of my life, I stayed home, I got a job, I kept reading to my mom every Friday, a few months after she left, my nana died and then a month after that, my mom died too…”

 

“Wow,” said Cas,

 

“I know right? I mean, it was hard but after mom died I felt like I could finally move on with my life, and then Ash offered me the job and well here I am… and now she wants to come back into my life and I don’t know what to do… I really like it in here, I love my job and you’re an awesome friend Cas… for the first time I feel like I’m free to do what I want to…” Charlie placed the now empty ice cream container on the coffee table in front of them and got closer to Cas, he opened his arms and gave her a big hug,

 

“I’m not very good at this kind of things, you know? But I can always listen to you”, said Cas; Charlie smiled and hugged him a little harder,

 

“I believe that one of the main characteristics of ‘love’,” said Cas letting go of Charlie, “is that no matter what, you always want the other person to be happy… even if it breaks your heart, you just want them to be happy… so maybe that’s why it didn’t work with Gilda, because she was only thinking about her happiness… see? Right now you’re worried that if she comes back she might be unhappy…”

 

Charlie’s eyes were a little teary now,

 

“Wow Cas, you’re a genius! I have to talk to her… I have to tell her that, you know, last time she only thought about her happiness… it’s time that I think about my own, and see if she’s willing to sacrifice herself this time… I’ll call her tomorrow,”

 

“It’s always a pleasure to be able to help my friends,” said Castiel with a smile.

 

“Okay friend, what do you say we have a Harry Potter marathon now? ... I’ll drive you to your place after; enough with the love drama for tonight,” said Charlie,

 

“I’m in,” answered Castiel.

 

They spent the rest of the night watching Harry Potter, and if after that talk about true love and happiness, Cas couldn’t help but to think a lot about Dean, well that was nobody’s business.

 

 

* * *

 

Dean drove to Lisa’s house after the meeting at Kraken; he had to spend the whole road trying to convince himself that he wasn’t jealous of Charlie. He tried to calm down, it wasn’t fair to Lisa to show up like this, he had already fucked things up with her twice that week; she didn’t deserve it.

 

By the time he was at Lisa’s doorstep he had already calmed down and was showing a wide smile (Dean Winchester, king of fake it till you make it). He knocked on the door and waited for a moment,

 

“Door’s open”, said Lisa from inside the house,

 

Dean opened the door and stepped in the house, he had been in there only once, it was a nice family house, Lisa had a big family and two of her brothers still lived there; Dean walked to the living room, he looked at all of the family pictures hanging on the walls; the Braedens were a big family, Lisa was the youngest, she had 3 brothers and they seemed like a very close family.

 

“Hello there,” came a voice from behind Dean, he turned around to find Lisa standing on the stairs; She was wearing a red tight dress and high heels, she looked gorgeous.

 

“Hi, you look awesome,” said Dean with a smile,

 

“Thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself… ready to go?” she walked down the stairs and greeted Dean with a kiss; it was a long passionate kiss, exactly what Dean needed to let go of his bad mood, at first he felt guilty for using Lisa to forget about Cas, but he soon forgot about that too.

 

“C’mon,” said Lisa, her lips still touching Deans, “I really want to watch this movie”, she held Dean’s hand and dragged him out of the house.

 

Dean didn’t even know which movie they were watching… he spent the first part of the movie wondering if Cas would still be on his date with Charlie; Apparently the movie wasn’t that interesting because after a while Lisa decided to attack Dean’s lips and they kept making out for the rest of the movie.

 

After the movie, Dean and Lisa went to grab something to eat, it was a nice date, Dean apologized again for being an asshole during the week and Lisa kept telling him that it was okay. Once they finished with their dinner, Lisa invited him to her place to have dessert.

 

“Aren’t your folks home?” Asked Dean while driving back to Lisa’s.

 

“No, they’re visiting an aunt in Missouri, they won’t be back until Monday,” answered Lisa with a smile.

 

“What about your brothers?”

 

“George is staying at his girlfriend’s and Tim went to Las Vegas with his friends,”

 

“So we have the house to ourselves then?” asked Dean with a smirk; Lisa took his hand and got closer to him.

 

“Yes,” she whispered to his ear; Dean laughed,

 

“Well in that case, I can’t wait to get dessert,”

 

“Oh, believe me…you’re gonna love it,” she said.

 

* * *

 

 

Cas stretched on Charlie’s couch and yawned, Charlie was soundly asleep next to him,

 

“Charlie, wake up… we fell asleep,” said Cas, the final credits of ‘The goblet of fire’ were playing on screen. Charlie opened an eye and looked at Cas,

 

“Hmmm… what time is it?” She asked with a sleepy voice,

 

“6:12 in the morning,” answered Cas. Charlie sat up and rubbed her eyes,

 

“Okay, lets take you home Cas… I don’t want your roomie thinking that you’re dead in a ditch or something,” Cas laughed and got up, his hair was a mess and Charlie laughed at that,

 

“I gave up on my hair a long time ago,” he said. They grabbed their stuff and headed downstairs to Charlie’s car.

 

 

* * *

 

 Dean opened the door to his apartment; he was freezing and was trying pretty hard to hide the big hickey showing on his neck. Mostly he was worried, it was already 6:30 in the morning and he had spent the night at Lisa’s (which was awesome) but he totally forgot to tell Cas (who could be a mother hen sometimes and freak out if Dean didn’t tell him where he was).

 

He was almost sure that he would find Cas sleeping on the couch, but he wasn’t there; he walked to the bathroom to take a leak before bed, he brushed his teeth and washed his face; when he got out of the bathroom he heard the main door opening, he turned around and saw Cas entering the apartment.

 

“Cas?”

 

“Oh, hi Dean,” said Cas with a husky voice; his hair was a mess and he looked like he was going to fall asleep standing there,

 

“Where were you man?” Asked Dean concerned (and a little bit jealous),

 

“I was at Charlie’s… sorry I didn’t text you but my phone ran out of battery… I’m okay though, not dead in a ditch or something,” said Cas with a small laugh, “gonna go to bed now, I need to sleep,” he walked down the hallway and went into his room leaving Dean standing alone on the hallway.

 

 _‘What the fuck was that?’_ he thought _‘ was he… with Charlie… nope, I don’t even want to go there… I’m so gonna pretend that this didn’t happen’_ and after that, he retired to his room as well.


	10. He’s worried because he thinks I’m sexually involved with Charlie.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Charlie spends the night at the apartment, Dean is certain that she's sleeping with Castiel. Dean confronts Castiel about his relationship with Charlie and he even tries to give him "the talk". Bobby asks Charlie to join them for thanksgiving and they have an interesting night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I thought I would be uploading later on the week but apparently i'm inspired.. here's a new chapter, i hope you like it.
> 
> Again, english isn't my first language so I apologize for any mistake.

 

* * *

Dean was still acting distant on Sunday and since Cas had only seen him for an hour on Saturday he came to the conclusion that maybe Dean’s weird mood wasn’t his fault after all; at the end, he decided that the best way to know would be to ask. They were having a quiet meal and after 20 minutes of awkward silence, Cas finally spoke,

 

“Dean, are you upset?” he asked; Dean raised his head and looked at his friend, Cas seemed worried,

 

“What do you mean Cas?” asked Dean,

 

“Well, you’ve been acting a little weird this whole week, as if you were upset about something, and at first I thought it was something I was doing wrong, but yesterday we barely saw each other and today you’re still upset, is everything alright?” So Cas had noticed that he was being an asshole too, it was kind of obvious, even Lisa knew there was something wrong with Dean and they had only been dating for a short time; Cas was his best friend of course he would notice that something was going on.

 

“I’m sorry Cas, I know I’ve been on a shitty mood lately… I guess I’m just stressed with work, is not your fault buddy, I swear,” said Dean with an apologetic look, _‘I’m just jealous of your girlfriend’_ he thought.

 

“Anything I can help you with?”

 

“Nah man, I just need to relax a little, that’s it… luckily this is thanksgiving weekend so I’ll have a few days to rest,” said Dean, he really needed to put his shit together.

 

“Okay Dean, so you’re not upset with me then? You promise,”

 

“Of course Cas,”

 

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Asked Castiel, he stood up and began to clean the table.

 

“Sure thing man, you pick it, okay?” replied Dean with a smile; both finished cleaning pretty fast after that, and after grabbing a box of Twinkies they headed to the living room to watch a movie.

 

* * *

 

 

On Monday Cas worked from home, he called Benny and told him that he needed his space to work on the designs for the pizza parlor, and it wasn’t a lie, but he also had stayed up the whole night watching Netflix with Dean, so he wasn’t in a mood to go to work. Dean went to work a little late, Bobby said that it was okay and he actually offered him to take the whole day off, but Dean refused.

 

By Tuesday Cas felt rested and went to Kraken, he spent his morning teaching Kevin a few tricks on Photoshop and then on his lunch break he ate pizza (again) with Charlie.

 

“So… I talked to Gilda,” said the redhead,

 

“How did it go?” Asked Castiel,

 

“It was weird, I’ve really missed her voice, you know? But it definitely wasn’t the same, a lot has changed since she left, I don’t even live in the same city anymore,” they kept eating their pizza,

 

“Is she coming back?”

 

“I don’t know… I don’t think so, I told her what we talked about, the whole ‘happiness’ thing, how last time she put her happiness first and I respected that… and she said that I put my happiness first too when I decided to stay, but that wasn’t my happiness, what’s happy about watching your mom in a coma for the rest of her life? I didn’t choose happiness, I choose what was right… and I mean we talked a lot, but at the end she said that she could visit from time to time and try out the whole long distance relationship, but that she wouldn’t leave her family… and I got upset because at first she told me that she wanted to move back here with me… and well, she said that I don’t understand and that I will never understand because I don’t have a family,” explained Charlie,

 

“What a bitch!” said Castiel, he rubbed Charlie’s arm,

 

“I know right? She immediately apologized but she really hurt my feelings…”

 

“What did you tell her?”

 

“Well I can be a bitch too,” she laughed “ I said that she was right, I told her that nana died and that my mom died too and that I had to be alone for that because she left me and then I closed skype and ate a lot of ice cream while watching ‘friends’… ”

 

“Wow, you seem to have a lot of ice cream at your house,” said Cas, “ have you talked again?”

 

“She has been texting me, she says she’s sorry and that she can come and visit next week if I want… but I don’t know, she wasn’t here when I needed her, I don’t want her to come back just because she feels bad that she wasn’t there for me… it’s too late to fix that, my family is already gone and I’ve already had to face that on my own,” said Charlie, she seemed really calmed,

 

“She doesn’t sound like the girl you love anymore,” said Castiel,

 

“She’s not the girl I love anymore… I guess I’m really starting a new life, huh?” answered Charlie with a sad smile, “which means, young padawan, that today you’re taking me to the mall… because we all know that the best cure after a heartbreak is to go on a shopping spree,” Castiel laughed,

 

“Of course, I’ve heard that haircuts are good too after a breakup,”

 

“I can get one too while we’re at the mall... I’ve been thinking on a pixie cut, you know? Super short and cute… I can’t wait for this afternoon,” they both finished their lunch and resumed their work, looking forward to their adventures at the mall.

 

* * *

 

Dean was sitting at his desk writing an e-mail to Sam,

 

“Mornin’ kid…  how ya doin’?” asked Bobby entering the office, he was carrying an old book on his hands.

 

“Hey Bobby! I’m fine… sending and e-mail to the Sasquatch,” Said Dean without looking at his uncle,

 

“Tell him I say hi,” Bobby sat in front of Dean’s desk, he opened the book and began looking through the pages; Dean finally sent the e-mail and closed his laptop, then he noticed Bobby reading the book,

 

“What you got there Bobby?”

 

“Oh, I found it yesterday in the attic… Karen used to write down all of her recipes in this thing, I hadn’t seen it in years… found one for turkey, thought we could use it for thanksgiving,” answered Bobby with a smile,

 

“Sounds awesome man… Cas is baking your favorite cookies too, and I’ll pick a few pies from Gabe’s… you should ask Cas to go with you to buy the ingredients… you know how he likes to have everything under control,” said Dean,

 

“Yeah, I’ll call him later,” said Bobby, he stood up and walked to the door,

 

“See ya later boy,” he said, and then he left the office.

 

* * *

 

Cas and Charlie spent an awesome time at the mall; she bought new clothes and a few comic books, and of course got a new haircut. Cas bought a new sweater for thanksgiving and a few books. He even told Charlie about his tragic incident with a girl called Hannah in that same mall a few years back.

 

After a lot of shopping and walking they finally headed to Charlie’s car. When they finished uploading all of their bags in the trunk they were interrupted by the sound of the TARDIS landing,

 

“Damn it Cas, I swear that you like to play with my feelings,”

 

“I’m sorry… I should probably change it, Dean feels the same way towards my ringtone,” said Cas, he grabbed his phone and saw Bobby’s name on the screen, he slid his finger on the screen and answered the Call,

 

“Hello Bobby,”

 

“Hi kid, hey, listen I found one of Karen’s recipes for turkey, I was wondering if it was okay if we tried it for thanksgiving?” said Bobby,

 

“Of course Bobby, you don’t even have to ask, do you need my help with anything?”

 

“Yes son, it doesn’t seem so complicated but I could really use your help, are you busy right now? Because I’m free and we could go and buy the stuff we need,”

 

“Actually, I was heading to Walmart, I need to buy the ingredients for your cookies; maybe we could meet there?”

 

“Sounds great Cas, the Walmart that’s close to your apartment?”

 

“Yes Bobby,” said Cas while getting in the Car, Charlie was already on the driver’s seat.

 

“Okay kid, see ya in a few,” said Bobby before hanging up. Cas closed his door and looked at his friend,

 

“apparently Bobby is joining us in our plans for today, I hope you don’t mind,”

 

“Man, the more the merrier…” Answered Charlie with a smile.

 

They drove in a comfortable silence to the store. When they arrived, Bobby’s car wasn’t there yet but they decided to get in the store and start with the shopping.

 

“What’s so special about this cookies?” Asked Charlie,

 

“Bobby’s mom used to make them for him, I met her a couple of times when I was a kid, and one day she taught me and my brother how to cook them, she said that one day she would be too old to cook and she made us promise that we would cook them for Bobby on special occasions, I’m pretty sure Bobby knows how to cook them too, but it’s like a tradition, on his birthday, thanksgiving, Christmas or anything like that, we cook him some cookies… since Gabriel will be a little busy with his bakery on thanksgiving, I’m baking on my own this time,” said Cas; They grabbed a shopping cart and began to walk through the aisles of the store.

 

“That’s sweet… he really is like a second father to you isn’t he?” asked Charlie; Cas was pushing the cart so she was just walking next to him.

 

“Yes, I was basically raised by two single dads, it sounds weird, but I really owe them a lot,” Charlie smiled, they kept walking and grabbing the ingredients for the cookies; after a few minutes they heard footsteps approaching, Cas stopped walking and turned around.

 

“Hello Bobby,”

 

“Hi kid,” Charlie turned,

 

“Hi,” she said,

 

“Charlie, isn’t it? Nice haircut, Is nice to see ya,” She smiled at Bobby; they resumed walking and grabbing the ingredients from their list,

 

“So, Charlie, what are you having for thanksgiving?” Asked Bobby,

 

“Probably will order some Chinese and watch Game of Thrones till I fall asleep,” she said shyly.

 

“What do you mean?” Asked Bobby; Cas stared at his friend in realization, of course, she would spend thanksgiving alone, she had nobody to spend it with; he was such an awful friend.

 

“Well I’m new in town and I don’t have a family, so I don’t…”

 

“Nonsense kid, you’re spending it with us,” interrupted Bobby; Cas was about to ask her to join them, but he was glad that Bobby had offered first.

 

“What? Really, I mean, you don’t have to…”

 

“Listen girl, you’re Cas’s friend, which means that you’re welcome at my house anytime okay? I’m not letting you spend your first thanksgiving at Sioux Falls eating rice and watching that damn TV show, you better not fight me on this one kiddo,” said Bobby with a hard voice, even though for other people he might seem like a tough guy, in that moment Charlie saw him as the sweetest man she had ever met. She gave him a huge hug,

 

“Thanks Bobby, this means a lot to me, it’s been years since my last decent thanksgiving,” Bobby ruffled her hair,

 

“Well, get used to it, you’re part of this weird family now,” said Bobby. Cas smiled at him and after the ‘chick flick moment’ (as Dean would call it), they resumed to their shopping.

 

After they paid for their stuff and put all the bags on Bobby’s car (minus the ingredients for the cookies), they said their goodbyes,

 

“Wait, before I go, I’ve been meaning to ask… are you two a couple?” Asked Bobby, Charlie giggled,

 

“Nope, just friends, Cas is not exactly my type,” she answered with a smile,

 

“Good, just wanted to be sure… is for the best you know Cas? I don’t think you can handle this…” he said with a smirk; they all laughed,

 

“No, I don’t think I can…” Said Cas.

 

* * *

 

Dean was sitting on the couch watching TV when Cas entered the apartment,

 

“Hello Dean,” he said,

 

“Hi Cas,” he saw the bags on Cas’s hands, “Did you go shopping with Bobby?” he asked.

 

“Yes” answered Cas, he walked to the kitchen and dropped the bags on the table, then he went back to the living room, “first I went with Charlie to the mall, and then Bobby called me and we met at Walmart,”

 

“Great, you got everything you need for the cooking?” Asked Dean, he kept his attention to the TV, though he was listening to his friend.

 

“Yes… oh, by the way, Bobby invited Charlie to spend Thanksgiving with us,” Dean turned his head so fast that he could hear his neck snap,

 

“What?” he asked surprised,

 

“I hope it’s okay, she doesn’t have a family and she said she would be spending it alone, so when Bobby found out he immediately asked her to spend it with us, she was really happy… she says it’s going to be her first ‘decent thanksgiving’ in years,” said Cas.

 

“No man, I mean, it’s cool… It just seemed weird you know? Bobby asking her,” Dean tried to smile,

 

“It was a random moment yes… they even hugged,” said Castiel,

 

“Wow, he’s going soft,” said Dean, “well, I’m gonna hit the hay man, tomorrow's the last day of work before the long weekend, I need my eight hours,” he didn’t want to sleep, but he couldn’t stand being with Cas right now, he was about to have another jealousy fit.

 

“Okay Dean, I’ll stay up a little more, see you tomorrow,” answered Cas,

 

“G’night Cas,” said Dean.

 

* * *

 

The next day was one of those that seem to last forever, Dean spent the day writing down checks, answering e-mails and helping around the garage. Lisa visited him for lunch; she would be leaving to Wyoming with her family that night.

 

“Turkey?” Asked Dean when he took a bite of the sandwich Lisa had brought him,

 

“Happy thanksgiving,” she said with a smile; Dean laughed, he liked spending time with her,

 

“Happy thanksgiving”, he replied,

 

“What are you grateful for?” Asked Lisa,

 

“Well, I’m grateful for this sandwich,” joked Dean, “ I’m grateful for my girlfriend, for my family: my uncle, my brother and Cas, I’m thankful for my job and the garage and of course, I’m grateful for pie… what about you?” Lisa took a small bite of her sandwich while thinking,

 

“Hmm… lets see… I’m grateful for my boyfriend of course, for my family, my job and these new shoes I just bought,” she finally answered. They kept laughing and joking until it was time for Dean to get back to work.

 

“I’m so sorry, but this day is nuts… there’s a lot of stuff to do,” Dean apologized,

 

“It’s okay honey, I still need to finish getting my stuff ready for the trip… I’ll text you when the plane lands,” she said. They hugged and kissed goodbye, when Dean opened the door to walk her out, he saw Bobby walking down the hallway.

 

“Hey! Bobby… I want you to meet someone,” he said,

 

Bobby turned around and looked at Dean standing next to a beautiful brunette, he walked towards them,

 

“Bobby, this is Lisa Braeden, my girlfriend, Lisa, this is Bobby Singer, my uncle/dad/boss,” said Dean with a smile; they shook hands.

 

“Hi, is very nice to meet you, Dean talks about you a lot,” she said,

 

“Is nice to finally meet you too,” they stood in an awkward silence for a few seconds,

 

“Well, I gotta go, it was nice to meet you Mr. Singer, have a nice weekend,”

 

“You too sweetheart, make sure to come visit more often, I have an album full of awkward pictures of this idjit,”

 

“Oh my God, of course I’ll be visiting more then,” she said with a smile. Dean put a hand on her back and walked her to the exit.

 

* * *

 

Cas spent the day working on the new image for the pizza parlor with Benny and Kevin, surprisingly enough, by the end of the Day he was craving pizza again; he entered the studio and walked to his desk to grab his stuff.

 

“Hey Cas,” said Charlie,

 

“Hello Charlie, Ready for tomorrow?” he asked,

 

“Yeah! I can’t wait… it’s a good thing tonight there’s a meteor shower because I wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway, at least now I have an excuse to stay up all night,” answered Charlie with a smile,

 

“Really, this will be an excellent time to make use of my new telescope, care to join me?” said Castiel,

 

“Oh My God! Are you serious? I was just going to climb on my window and watch it from there, but we could totally go to your roof and use the telescope, that would be awesome,” she said with a big smile, “okay, what about this? I’ll drop you at your place, then I’ll go to mine, take a little nap, a quick shower put on my comfiest pajama pants and a jacket, get some nice candy and go back to your place,”

 

“Sounds like a plan,” said Cas. They turned off their computers, said goodbye to everyone and left the building together.

 

* * *

 

Cas was sitting on his beanbag chair watching Doctor Who and eating pizza when the door opened.

 

“Hi Cas, awesome, pizza again!” he said. Dean closed the door behind him and sat next to Cas; he grabbed a huge slice of pizza and relaxed on his own beanbag.

 

“I totally have the hots for the eleventh Doctor,” Said Dean,

 

“Dean, you ‘totally have the hots’ for the Doctor, period,” joked Cas,

 

“Word,” answered Dean with a smile.

 

After a few episodes Dean began to drift off, he was really tired after his day at work.

 

“Dean,” called Castiel, “Dean… you should probably go to bed,”

 

Dean opened his eyes and looked at his friend,

 

“Jesus, sorry man, I’m fried after today… had a lot of work,” said Dean between yawns, “I’m gonna call it a night man, ” he stood up and walked to his room.

 

“Good night Dean,” said Cas.

 

* * *

 

It was midnight when Cas heard a knock on the door; he stood up and opened the door to Charlie,

 

“Hello, ready for the meteor shower?” Asked Charlie, she was wearing blue pajama pants with tiny bees and a fluffy black jacket.

 

“Of course, I love your pants by the way I have ones that look pretty similar,” they walked to Cas’s room.

 

“So, you like bees?” Asked Charlie,

 

“Yes, I had a fascination with them when I was 13 years old, I would only talk about it… I’m not that obsessed anymore, but I still like to read about the subject, Gabriel gave me my bee pajama pants for my last birthday,” Cas opened his window and signaled Charlie to follow him, they climbed through the fire scape to the roof,

 

“Where’s your telescope?” Asked Charlie,

 

“It’s already upstairs, I have everything ready,” when they reached the roof Charlie gave his friend a huge smile,

 

“Wow, Cas, this is awesome,” Cas had set up everything on the corner of the roof, his telescope, a small led lamp, a couple of sleeping bags, a lot of pillows and blankets.

 

They waited for the meteor shower between the blankets, eating candy and talking; Cas told Charlie a lot of random facts about space, he even told her about the accuracy of scientific facts in TV shows like Doctor Who or Star trek. After a couple of hours the meteor shower began,

 

“Wow, look at that!” Said Charlie, “it’s beautiful,” they took turns to watch through the telescope. They spent hours looking at the stars; they waited until the meteor shower ended.

 

“Only an hour till the sun comes out, wanna wait and watch it?” Asked Charlie,

 

“It would be the perfect ending for the night,” said Cas.

 

“I know, we should totally do this more often, it was awesome,” they sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, Charlie tried to drink some coffee from the Thermos cup that Cas had prepared for her, but it was already empty,

 

“I’m out of coffee, gonna get a refill,” she said, “Need anything from the kitchen?”

 

“Just some water please,” answered Cas,

 

“Okay, be right back,” she stood up wrapped in a blanket and walked downstairs to Cas’s apartment.

 

The coffeemaker was already on, so she just poured more coffee into her Thermos then she turned to the fridge to grab a bottle of water for Cas. She grabbed her cup and Cas’s water and walked back to his room, it was pretty dark so when Dean decided to enter the kitchen in that exact moment she crashed against him.

 

“Crap, sorry,” she said.

 

“Charlie?” asked Dean.

 

* * *

 

 Dean went to bed at 8:30 that night, so of course, he woke up automatically early on the morning, it was still dark outside. He got out of bed, he was thirsty anyway; he would have some water and then try to get some more sleep. He got out of his room, the TV was off in the living room and everything was dark, well at least Cas had gone early to bed. He walked to the kitchen rubbing his eyes, suddenly someone crashed against him; at first he thought it was Cas but then,

 

“Crap, sorry,” said the person in front of him, it wasn’t Cas’s husky voice, it was a girl,

 

“Charlie?” he asked. He turned on the lights on the kitchen to find a very startled Charlie, she was wrapped in a blanket and grabbing a bottle of water and a Thermos cup.

 

“Sorry Dean, been up all night, I needed some Coffee… and water for Mr. ‘I don’t drink coffee’… well, gotta go, the shower is over but we’re gonna wait for the sun to come out… there’s coffee in the machine, good morning,” she said, then she walked to Cas’s room.

 

Now he was sure he wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep… ‘What the fuck whas that? ... Was she wearing Cas’s pajamas? … Did she say that they’ve been up all night… a freaking shower? ... What the fuck is going on?’

 

“Okay, I’m officially asking him today what is going on,” he whispered. He walked to the kitchen, but he opted to grab some coffee instead of water, this was going to be a long day.

* * *

 

The shower was on when Cas and Charlie came out of his room two hours later,

 

“Dean’s getting ready for the day I guess,” said Cas, “thank you for coming Charlie, it was an incredible experience, please let me know the next time there’s a meteor shower,”

 

“Of course Cas, it was awesome, your telescope is the best thing ever,” said Charlie yawning, “Jesus, I have to go, I’ll take a little nap and then get ready for the day… at what time do you want me to show up?”

 

“5 would be fine, bring some movies if you want, I’ll bring my ‘cards against humanity’ and Bobby and Dean will bring their alcoholism so it will be a great night,” Charlie burst into laughter.

 

“Can’t wait," she said, "see you later Cas, thanks again for an awesome night,” said Charlie walking down the hall.

 

* * *

 

Dean was finishing his shower when he heard voices outside, carefully, he climbed out of the shower, but didn’t turn off the water so they wouldn’t hear him; he grabbed his towel and got closer to the door.

 

“Can’t wait… see you later Cas, thanks again for an awesome night,” he heard Charlie say.

 

 _‘Crap, so apparently they spent the whole night up and it was an awesome night… great,’_ he thought.

 

* * *

 

 

The rest of the day went by pretty fast, Cas baked a lot of cookies; Dean cleaned the house and did some laundry. Dean wanted to ask about Charlie, but he chickened out every time he tried. He came to the conclusion that it would be easier to ask him with a little alcohol involved, so he would wait for later, maybe he and Bobby could ask him together.

 

By 2:30 they were ready to go to Bobby’s, it was a little early but Cas had promise to help with the cooking and they still needed to go to Gabe’s to pick up the pies.

 

They arrived at Bobby’s at 3:17. Dean opened the door and walked to the kitchen, he placed the pies on the table, Cas followed him and placed the cookies on the table too.

 

“Bobby, we’re home!” Shouted Dean, Cas covered his ears,

 

“Oh, sorry Cas,” Dean apologized,

 

“It’s fine, I didn’t get a lot of sleep so I’m a little oversensitive today,” answered Cas.

 

“Hey kids! Great, my cookies! Thanks Cas, you’ve always been my favorite,” Said Bobby entering the kitchen.

 

“Hey! I’m here you know….” Dean complained,

 

“My favorite Novak you idjit,” said Bobby with a smile.

 

They cooked together between laughter and jokes; Dean and Bobby had a few beers. Cas loved spending time with them, it reminded him of his childhood.

 

After a while Bobby announced that everything was ready and the turkey was already in the oven.

 

“Well, now it’s time for another beer,” said Dean,

 

“Bobby, do you mind if I go upstairs and take a little nap? I’m falling asleep while we’re talking,” said Cas,

 

“Mi casa es tu casa Cas,” answered Bobby with a smile, “Use Dean’s old bedroom, I just cleaned it in case you two want to stay for the night,”

 

“Thank you Bobby, it will only be for an hour, I promise, if Charlie shows up and I’m still asleep, let me know,” said Cas while leaving the kitchen.

 

Bobby opened the fridge and grabbed a couple of beers; Dean was already sitting at the table so he sat in front of him.

 

“Didn’t he get any sleep last night or what?” Asked Bobby while passing a beer to Dean,

 

“Apparently,” said Dean a little serious; He opened his bottle and gave it a big gulp.

 

“And you’re upset because…” said Bobby,

 

“I’m not upset…”

 

“Son, there’s smoke coming out of your ears, what’s eating you?”

 

“Promise not to make fun of me?”

 

“Promise”

 

“Charlie spent the night with Cas… like literally…”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“I ran into her this morning in the kitchen, she was wrapped on a blanket and wearing his pajama pants… she said that she needed coffee because they hadn’t sleep at all and then she said that their shower was finished but that they were going to watch the sunrise together or some shit like that…”

 

“So you just assumed that they were together,” said Bobby,

 

“And then, when she left I heard her say that it had been and incredible night, what do you want me to think?” Dean took another sip from his beer.

 

“Son, even if they did spend the night together, which I doubt, why would you be upset, shouldn’t you be happy that he has finally found someone… unless of course … are you jealous Dean?” asked Bobby with a smirk; Dean blushed, was he that obvious? … No way, Bobby was just guessing,

 

“No Bobby of course not! Jesus… I’m worried for him that’s all… I mean, what if he’s having sex now? You think Chuck ever gave him the talk?”

 

Bobby tried really hard to contain his laughter, but at the end he couldn’t help it,

 

“Hey! You said you wouldn’t make fun of me man! This is serious!” Said Dean with an indignant expression,

 

“I’m not making fun… I’m just… wow, I’ve never thought about it really,”

 

“You should talk to him,” said Dean pinching the bridge of his nose,

 

 “Why me? ... I already gave you and your brother that talk, and I had to tell you about boys too… I’m too old for this shit… that’s Chuck’s job kid, not mine…”

 

“Right, I should call Chuck and just tell him ‘hey Chuck, so Cas is sexually active now, you should probably talk to him,’ he would totally put Cas on a freaking tower and swallow the key… the guy still thinks that Cas is 12,”

 

“You have a point there, ” answered Bobby, after a few seconds of silence he took another sip of his beer and looked at Dean,

 

“You should talk to him,” said Bobby,

 

“Me? … why me? I’m… I… you’re probably right…” Dean finished his beer and stood up, he was sweating but Bobby was right, it was time to talk to Cas.

 

“Good luck with that,” said Bobby with a smirk,

 

Dean dragged his feet to the stairs, and then he climbed them slowly,

 

“Okay, here I go,” he said.

 

* * *

 

Cas was sound asleep on Dean’s old bed, the sense of belonging made him sleep comfortably and without worries; he had basically grown up in this house.

 

Dean opened the door slowly, he found Cas lying on his bed, curled between a sea of blankets. He grabbed the chair by his desk and sat down next to Cas, he knew it was weird to look at his friend while he was sleeping but he couldn’t help it, it was one of his guilty pleasures.

 

After a few minutes, Cas stretched and opened one eye,

 

“I recall you once told me that it's rude to watch other people while they're sleeping”, said Castiel hoarsely,

 

“Sorry, I wanted to talk to you,” Cas sat up and stretched a little more,

 

“What is it?”

 

“Okay Cas, this isn’t easy for me okay? And I don’t want to make things weird between us, so hmm… just listen to me and yeah…”

 

“Are you okay Dean?” The Winchester’s face started to turn a bright shade of red; he wasn’t ready for this shit,

 

“Cas, we need to talk about sex,” Castiel just looked at him with wide eyes,

 

“Look Cas, I’ve noticed that a few thing in your life have changed and well, I don’t know how much you know about the subject, and I don’t want to scare you or anything… but well… is just … oh fuck… this is hard… okay, last night with Charlie, did you use protection?”

 

“What? Why would I need protection against Charlie?” asked Cas confused,

 

“No, man… I mean like a condom,” Dean was sweating now,

 

“No, we didn’t…” Cas seemed really confused,

 

“Oh crap Cas! Those are like basic! You should never do it without protection man, you don’t want to catch something or get her pregnant man,” Dean was talking very fast now,

 

“Dean wait, no I mean… I… what?”

 

“And I mean, nobody can force you to do anything that you don’t wanna do, you hear me, No means No man, you can stop things whenever you want Cas, I mean, Charlie seemed happy and you don’t seem traumatized so I’m going to assume that everything went fine man, but still you need to be careful and…”

 

“Dean! Wait!” Yelled Cas, “Are you implying… Do you think that I’m having sex with Charlie?” Now it was Cas’s turn to blush,

 

“Yes I mean, it’s a little obvious, she’s your girlfriend isn’t she?” Dean was really nervous; he wasn’t ready to hear the answer,

 

“What? No… we’re just friends!” answered Cas a little worried, “and we’re not having sex, I’ve told you before… I can’t feel that way towards other people, I can’t…. Charlie is just my friend,”

 

“Wow… I thought… it’s just… you two seemed… and… I’m and idiot,” said Dean,

 

“Yes you are,” Answered Castiel with a smile,

 

“You’re not having sex,”

 

“Nope,”

 

“You probably already know all that shit that I was telling you, don’t you?”

 

“Yes Dean, I know what a condom is,”

 

“I’m sorry Cas, I was treating you like a child,”

 

“It’s okay Dean, you were just worried,”

 

“I just, I don’t know… I just assumed that Chuck never told you about this stuff, you know?”

 

“He didn’t, but I have Gabriel as a brother, plus there’s the Internet and of course tumblr,”

 

“Did Gabriel give you the talk?”

 

“Yes, he’s a pretty… graphic person, you know? … But yes, he took care of that… besides, you are aware that we went to college in California, right?”

 

“Oh God! I’m so so sorry for treating you like a child, I was worried, that’s all... I’m just… I’m gonna go downstairs and grab another beer, okay?”

 

“Sure Dean, I’ll be there in a minute,”

 

Dean left the room and closed the door behind him;

 

 _‘Fuck yeah! He’s not dating Charlie! He doesn’t have a girlfriend!’_ Thought Dean, _‘I’m fucking pathetic,’_ he walked downstairs and joined Bobby in the living room.

* * *

 

Charlie arrived 15 minutes after the weird talk between Dean and his best friend, she had a few beers with the boys and they watched ‘back to the future’; Bobby called them to the table soon after, the small group sat around the table, the food smelled amazing,

 

“I know we’re supposed to say why we’re grateful for before we eat, but I also know that you’re all starving and that you’ll probably say the first stupid shit that comes to your mind because all you want to do is eat, so this year we’re gonna eat first and say our thanks before dessert, what about that? ”

 

“Awesome!” Said Dean,

 

After that they ate like it was their last meal on earth.

 

“Everything okay Dean?” Asked Bobby, “You seem a little weird,”

 

“He’s worried because he thinks I’m sexually involved with Charlie,” said Cas after taking a sip from his whiskey, Charlie snorted pretty loud and she almost spat her food, Dean just wanted to disappear on his chair.

 

“Oh my God! What?” asked Charlie,

 

“I’m sorry you guys I just assumed… I… why were you at our house at freaking 5 in the morning anyway?” Asked Dean,

 

“There was a meteor shower, we spent the night watching it from the roof with Cas’s telescope… it was awesome,” explained Charlie,

 

“Okay, now I’m officially and idiot… is just, you two are always together and I thought… are you sure you’re not a couple?”

 

“No, we’re not, answered Castiel,”

 

“Cas is not her type,” said Bobby with a smile,

 

“What do you mean he’s not her type?” Asked Dean,

 

“Charlie told me that when I asked them if they were together,” explained Bobby,

 

“So you knew? You knew they weren’t a freaking couple and still you let me go and try to have the fucking talk with Cas, I hate you Bobby,” Said Dean pretending to be offended,

 

“You were worried about your friend… and I thought it would be a good payback for making me give you the freaking talk bisexual edition all those years ago,” said Bobby laughing,

 

“You’re so funny old man,” said Dean with sarcasm.

 

“It was pretty amusing Dean, you looked really funny trying to explain to me what is a condom,” said Cas with a smirk,

 

“Oh, shut up, you were blushing too…”

 

“Only because I was feeling ashamed… for you,” said Cas with a smirk,

 

“That’s it Novak… no more cuddling for a month!”

 

“Wait… you two cuddle?” asked Charlie,

 

“All the time kiddo, it’s actually kinda cute, I have pictures wanna see?” Said Bobby grabbing his phone,

 

“Oh my God! Everybody! Let’s just drop it ok? I’m sorry that I thought you two were a couple, next time I’ll just ask first… now can we please have some pie,” said Dean in resignation.

 

“Fine,” answered Bobby, “I’ll show you the pictures later Charlie,” he said to the redhead, “now, before we force Dean to share a bit of his pie with us, lets say why are we thankful for, ok?”

 

“Okay… I’ll start, I’m thankful for my Brother, my Uncle Bobby, the garage and my baby. I’m thankful because I get to do what I love for a living, because I get to share a home with my best friend and of course I’m thankful for my best friend and pie,”

 

“I’m grateful with John Winchester for giving me the best present in the world, I’m grateful because my kids are happy and healthy, because Sam is doing great in college, because Dean is working by my side, because Gabriel finally has his bakery and because Cas is making new friends… I’m also thankful for the garage and my cookies,” continued Bobby,

 

“I’m thankful because of my new life and my new friends… and I really want to thank you guys for taking me into your lives, it really means the world to me,” said Charlie, everyone smiled after that,

 

“I’m grateful because my dad had to go on tour and I didn’t have to spend another thanksgiving with my brother Michael, I’m thankful for my new friend Charlie, and because after all this years I still have my Best friend and his family with me… also because my dad is doing great and my brother Gabriel is happy,” said Cas finally.

 

“Well, now we’ve earned dessert kids,” said Bobby,

 

They all had their pies (Dean had 3 slices) and kept joking, Dean felt more relaxed now that he knew that Cas wasn’t dating Charlie… he just couldn’t understand, they seemed to get along, why didn’t she want to date him? Why wasn’t he her type?

 

“Charlie,” said Dean, “sorry to ask but, why isn’t Cas your type? He’s a nice guy and he’s not ugly,” he was trying to sound casual,

 

“Well I know he’s an awesome guy and of course he’s not ugly, he’s gorgeous, and have you seen his ass? ... But the thing is, Dean, that he has something that I don’t like…”

 

“What is it?” asked Dean curiously,

 

“A penis,” she said with a poker face. Now it was Cas’s turn to snort. Dean was looking at them in shock,

 

“Wait what?” he asked,

 

“I’m a lesbian Dean-o… so yeah, like I told Cas the other day, if he had lady parts we would be married by now… but no, he’s not my type,” said Charlie with a smirk.

 

“I like you,” said Dean,

 

“You’re not my type either, sorry,” she answered,

 

“No I mean, it’s cool that Cas has a friend like you, you're pretty cool,” said Dean with a smile.

 

“I hope this doesn’t change the way you look at me,” said Charlie looking at Bobby,

 

“Kid, I raised this idjit here, and like I told him when he told me he liked boys too… as longs as you’re happy I don’t give a damn who you decide to love,” Charlie stood up and gave Bobby a big hug, he hugged her back and gave her a few pats on the back when she whispered “thanks a lot Bobby.”

 

After that they had a pretty nice night, they finished the 'back to the future' trilogy and they even played ‘cards against humanity’

 

“Guys I’m having the time of my life, but i gotta go,” said Charlie,

 

“Oh c’mon red, the party’s just starting,” said Dean, he was a little drunk,

 

“I know Dean, but I’m visiting my hometown tomorrow… I need to catch some sleep before the drive, we can have a slumber party any other day, I’ll even do your nails and make up,” she said,

 

“I really like you,” said Dean with a smile; Charlie stood up and hugged them all goodbye,

 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?” Asked Castiel,

 

“Nah Cas, it’s fine… this is something I need to do on my own, I’ll call you, ok?”

 

“Okay, drive carefully,” said Cas, he walked Charlie to the door.

 

 

They watched another movie and kept drinking, Cas usually didn’t drink, only on special occasions, but this was one. After a while Cas began to feel sleepy; Dean felt Cas’s head resting on his shoulder, he turned his head a little so he could watch his friend,

 

“Hey, sleepyhead, you should go to bed,” said Dean, Cas didn’t react so Dean just kept staring at him,

 

“Are you gonna kiss ‘im or somethin’?” Asked Bobby with a smirk,

 

“Pretty funny Bobby,” Said Dean pulling a bitch face, “Hey, Cas… Cas, wake up man, c’mon lets take you to bed,” Dean insisted, Cas opened his eyes but he was obviously still asleep. Dean stood up and helped his friend up, “c’mon man,”

 

With a lot of work Dean managed to make his friend walk, he basically dragged him to the stairs,

 

“C’mon Cas, just a few more steps and you can go back to sleep.”

 

Finally, they made it to Dean’s old room; Cas climbed on the bed and curled himself in the blankets; Dean stood next to him just looking at his friend,

 

“Dean, stop staring at me… come to bed,” said Cas; if only he knew what those words did to his friend.

 

Dean took Cas’s shoes off and then his own, then he turned off the light and positioned himself on bed next to his friend. Dean waited for a few minutes until he could hear Castiel’s light snoring and then he got a little more comfortable, passing an arm over Cas’s chest and holding him closer. 

That night both of them slept like babies.  


	11. Okay, but… can we get a helmet first?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The week after Thanksgiving, Dean is more relaxed now that he knows that Cas isn't dating Charlie. Charlie opens up a little more about her family. Dean tries to give Cas his first driving lesson since he got his Car back but he freaks out and everything goes to hell...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Quick little chapter today because i'm going to a party in a couple of hours and i don't know if i'll be to wasted to upload later (or too hungover to upload tomorrow). Also a little surprise at the end! 
> 
> Again thanks for reading and i love you all... (also remember the part where i don't speak english as my first language so i apologize for any mistake)

 

* * *

The next morning they stayed at Bobby’s for breakfast, usually Dean would cook eggs, bacon and pancakes (like every Friday), but since they still had a lot of leftovers from dinner, they ended up having turkey sandwiches and mashed potatoes.  They stayed a bit longer, but eventually they said their goodbyes and went back to their apartment.

 

The rest of the weekend was uneventful, Dean wrote an e-mail to Sam to inform him that Cas wasn’t dating Charlie; Charlie texted Cas when she arrived to her hometown and Cas ‘face-timed’ with Chuck. By Sunday they had seen all of the Star Wars movies (again), a whole season of Doctor Who and every episode of Sherlock. Dean was obviously in a better mood now that he knew that Cas wasn’t dating Charlie and of course Cas noticed the improvement.

 

“You seem pretty relaxed… in a better mood than last week,” commented Cas while watching ‘The return of the Jedi’,

 

“I told you Cas, I just needed a few days away from work, a lot of Netflix and some pie… good as new man,” answered Dean with a smile.

 

* * *

 

On Monday they had to go back to normalcy, Dean had a lot to do at the Garage because they would have the re-inauguration on Saturday. Cas kept working on the new image for the pizza parlor; Kevin was learning pretty fast how to use Photoshop so he was helping Cas a lot.

During lunchtime Cas talked about his weekend with Charlie and Kevin.

 

“So, how was your thanksgiving Kev?” asked Charlie,

 

“It was fine, all my family came to visit, mom basically had to feed an army but it was great, what about you guys?” said Kevin while eating a salad,

 

“I actually spent it at Bobby’s with Cas and Dean, it was awesome, my first good thanksgiving I swear, we even played ‘Cards against humanity’ and watched ‘back to the future’,” Answered Charlie with a grin, she was eating sushi.

 

“It was really nice having you Charlie, Bobby already wants to adopt you,” said Cas, he was having a sandwich.

 

“What else did you guys do? I went camping with my cousins on Friday, it was pretty cool, though I prefer a place where I can find a bathroom and Wi-Fi,” said Kevin,

 

“I watched Netflix with Dean the whole weekend, literally,” said Cas,

 

“I went to my hometown, had a nice picnic at my mom’s grave,” said Charlie,

 

“Wow I had no idea that your mom passed away,” said Kevin with a sad look,

 

“It’s okay Kev, she’s been gone for a very long time now,”

 

“My dad died when I was a baby so I kinda understand,” said Kevin,

 

“C’mon Kev, there’s no need to be sad young Padawan, let me tell you a funny story about this weekend,” said Charlie sitting closer to Kevin,

 

“What is it?” asked Kevin,

 

And that was how the whole team at Kraken found out about Dean trying to have the talk with Cas.

 

* * *

 

After a whole week of work and the guys at Kraken making fun of Dean, Bobby gave everyone at the garage the day off on Friday. Cas was at Kraken on his lunchtime with the whole team when he heard a knock on the door of the studio.

 

“Hey guys, how ya doin’?” Asked Dean while entering the room.

 

“Dean, brother! It’s so nice to see you! What are you doing here? I thought you would be going crazy with the whole re-inauguration thing,” said Benny, he was sitting next to Ash on the couch in the lounge area. 

 

“Bobby gave us the day off so we could be well rested and relaxed for tomorrow, everything is ready,” answered Dean. Cas was sitting on the floor cross-legged and Dean plopped himself next to his friend.

 

“Heya Cas,” he said to his friend,

 

“Hello Dean,” answered Cas,

 

“Want a beer man?” asked Ash,

 

“Nah, I was actually thinking, are you guys too busy? Because I need to steal Cas for the rest of the day,” Cas looked at Dean and squinted his eyes.

 

“Nah, it’s fine… we just sent the proposals for the new image of the pizza place, we’re still waiting for the answer so we are basically free for the day… and since the garage is also yours and tomorrow is the big day, maybe you should take the rest of the day to relax Cas,” said Benny with a smile.

 

“I didn’t go to school for enough time but I’m pretty sure this is what it feels like when your dad picks you up early from school,” said Cas with a very serious face, he stood up and gathered his stuff.

 

“Oh look Dean, you’re a father now,” said Ash,

 

“Of course he is… and a responsible one if I may say, he even gave Cas ‘the talk’ the other day,” said Benny with a smirk,

 

“Oh guys c’mon… I thought this was over,” said Dean standing up.

 

“It’s just that our lives are so boring,” said Ash, “we don’t have any other thing to make fun of man,”

 

“You’re all so funny guys,” Dean walked towards the door, “c’mon Cas, lets go,” he said; Cas grabbed his backpack and followed Dean,

 

“Bye guys, see you tomorrow at the garage,” said Cas waving goodbye to his friends,

 

“Good bye Cas… remember to use protection, if you have any questions you can ask Dean,” said Ash; the whole group (except Dean) was laughing. Dean just flipped them off and walked out the door. When he got to the reception he could still hear the laughs coming from upstairs.

Once they were in the car, Dean began to drive.

 

“Were are we going Dean?” asked Cas,

 

“I was just thinking, it’s such a beautiful day, it’s not too cold, the sun is out, not a cloud in the sky… the perfect time for a little driving lesson,”

 

“What do you mean? Oh! I… I don’t think that I’m ready Dean,” answered Cas in realization,

 

“C’mon man, just a little drive, a few blocks, I’ll be with you the whole time and we can stop whenever you want,” said Dean with an optimistic voice,

 

“I don’t know, ” answered Castiel, he wasn’t ready to drive yet, but he didn’t want to let his friend down.

 

“You know what? I’m sorry man, it’s just… you promised you would try Cas,” Dean turned and looked at Cas with the best impression of Sam’s puppy eyes that he could do and of course Cas melted instantly.

 

“Okay, but… can we get a helmet first?” Asked Cas,

 

“Of course man, I promised you a helmet, we’ll get you a nice one, lets go!” said Dean.

 

They spent more than an hour at the BMX store trying to find the perfect helmet, Cas kept objecting every time they showed him a new helmet, he kept saying it wasn’t good enough, but after half an hour Dean began to think that maybe his friend was just buying himself some time.

 

“ C’mon man, just grab one, all of them are fine, they’re designed for kids that do crazy stuff on a freaking bike; this helmets can resist anything,”

 

“Okay,” said Cas, he finally picked one that matched the color of his car. Dean paid for the helmet and they climbed back in the impala.

 

* * *

 

They drove to Bobby’s, the car was in the garage, Cas hadn’t even seen it since it was repaired.

 

“Here it is,” said Dean, he took of the fabric that was covering the car; Cas just stood there next to his friend, a long time ago he had loved this car but now it actually scared him.

 

“What do you think? I did the whole job myself, even the paint,” said Dean proudly,

 

“It looks great,” said Castiel, he was getting anxious.

 

“It’s never looked better man, not even when Chuck gave it to you, to be a shitty Honda, it looks pretty cool,”

 

“If you like it so much, maybe you should drive it,” said Cas.

 

“Oh, c’mon man… it’ll be fine, I promise, okay? Just drive a couple of blocks and you can pick whatever you want to have for dinner for a month,

 

“Okay Dean, but just two blocks…” Cas was shaking now; the keys were hanging next to the garage Door, Dean grabbed them and drove the car out of the garage. Cas walked out of the garage and kept staring at his car, the new color was nice, he liked that shade of green, it wasn’t as beautiful as Dean’s eyes, but it was close. He took a deep breath and tried to stop shaking, he wasn’t even sure that he would be able to move his legs but in the end he made it to the driver’s door, Dean was already waiting on the other seat.

 

“C’mon man… as the creepy lady from apartment number 6 would say: get your ass in here,” said Dean, he was holding the helmet on his hands.

 

“You’re not helping Dean,” said Cas, he slowly opened the door and climbed into his seat.

 

“Sorry man, lets get serious now,” Cas closed his door and put on his seatbelt; Dean handed him the helmet and Cas spent a couple of minutes adjusting it.

 

“Seatbelt Dean,” said Cas, the last thing he needed was to hurt his friend.

 

“Got it,” answered Dean, Cas didn’t turn his head but he could hear the click of his friend seatbelt.

 

“Okay,” said Cas.

 

“Whenever you’re ready buddy,” said Dean. Cas took another deep breath and scratched his left hand a little.

 

“C’mon man, you can do it,” said Dean encouraging him. Cas turned the key and the car came to life; he almost threw up when he began to feel the rumble below him.

  

“I can do this, I can do this,” he repeated over and over again. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity he moved the lever to drive and stepped on the gas. The car began to move pretty slowly; Dean didn’t say anything. Cas managed to leave Bobby’s property and drive down the street; he was already halfway through his path when he heard a loud horn really close to him; to any other person that sound might seem like nothing, a sound you get to hear a hundred times during the day when you’re driving around the city, but to Cas the freaking sound triggered a memory of his accident. He immediately let go of the steering wheel and hit the brakes; he wasn’t driving to fast but the action still make them jump a little, Cas pressed his hands to his ears even though he was still wearing the helmet and he began to rock and to repeat that he was sorry.

 

Cas could see that day again, _he was driving to the apartment, they had only been living there for a month, the traffic was horrible, a lot of noise and all the cars too close to him, people yelling, he could hear a siren getting closer, nobody was moving, they needed to let the ambulance pass but nobody was doing anything, he tried to move the car to his right, but it was useless nobody was moving, everything was getting smaller and the noises louder and then the car behind him began to sound the horn over and over again, he couldn’t help it, he could feel a meltdown coming, he needed to get out of there, he stepped on the accelerator and held the steering wheel with all his strength and then suddenly he could see a wall getting closer and he couldn’t do anything to stop it and then, all went black._

 

“Cas, Cas man, you’re scaring me… Cas!” Dean was trying to help Cas, they didn’t crash so he knew that he wasn’t hurt, at least not physically.

 

“Fuck, I’m an idiot… damn it Cas! Please open your eyes!” Dean removed Castiel’s seatbelt,

 

“Cas I’m going to touch you okay? I’m going to carry you out of the car and take you to Bobby’s” Said Dean with a worried expression,

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Cas kept saying,

 

“It’s alright buddy, is not your fault, hang in there man, deep breaths, ” said Dean, he reached for his friend and carried him bridal style.    

 

Bobby’s house wasn’t that far, just a block away so Dean carried Cas without problem; Bobby was by the mailbox when he saw them getting closer.

 

“What the hell? What’s going on kid? Is he hurt? Should I call 911?” Asked Bobby while getting closer to the boys,

 

“Driving lessons went wrong, he’s having a shutdown I think, he wont talk… do me a favor Bobby, the car is one block away, could you drive it back? I’m gonna take him to my room,” said Dean, he didn’t wait to get an answer from Bobby, he just kept walking and didn’t stop until he had Cas lying on his bed.

 

“Cas, I’m going to take off your helmet okay?” he told his friend; Cas was now scratching his left hand. Dean removed slowly the helmet and then placed it on the bedside table. Cas was still shaking and repeating that he was sorry.

 

“Hey, no… no, don’t do that,” said Dean, he placed his hand over Castiel’s left hand to stop him from scratching, “Is not your fault, okay? It was an accident, accidents happen Cas, even to the experts, is not your fault buddy,”

 

Cas seemed to calm a little with the sound of Dean’s voice, so Dean sat on the floor and began to tell him the first thing that came to his mind, the story of the day that Bobby gave him his first cooking lesson.

 

After half an hour Cas finally made eye contact with his friend,

 

“Dean,” he said with a husky voice, his mouth was dry and he was really thirsty.

 

“Hey buddy, I’m right here, do you need anything?” Dean stood up and got closer to his friend,

 

“Water please” said Cas,

 

“Got it, be right back,” answered Dean, he left the room and returned a minute later with a big glass of water.

 

“There you go man,” he said, Cas sat up and grabbed the glass with shaking hands, he drank until the last drop and then returned the glass to his friend.

 

“I want my room,” said Cas, he was feeling miserable.

 

“Okay man, let me just go and grab all our stuff and I’ll come back to help you… It won’t be long, I promise,” Dean took the empty glass and left the room again. Cas just sat there staring at the wall.

 

* * *

 

Dean walked to the kitchen and found Bobby reading a newspaper,

 

“How is he?” Asked Bobby, he was worried,

 

“He wants to go home,” answered Dean,

 

“Need any help?”

 

“Nah, it’s fine… did you hide the car?” asked Dean,

 

“Yeah, put it back in the garage,”

 

“Okay, thanks … I’m just gonna go and help him, see you tomorrow Bobby,”

 

“Call me if you need anything son,”

 

“Will do” answered Dean while walking to the living room, he picked Cas’s backpack and the rest of his stuff and put them on the impala, then he returned to the house and walked upstairs to help Cas.

 

“You’re a good friend Dean,” said Bobby, Dean didn’t answer; he was a shitty friend, it was his fault that Cas was suffering right now.

 

* * *

 

Cas walked into the apartment followed by Dean,

 

“Hey Cas I know that you wanna go to bed, but I need you to eat something first, okay?” Cas walked into the kitchen and sat on his chair, he rested his head on the table.

 

“Want some tea?” Asked Dean, he walked to the kitchen and turned on the electric kettle then he opened the fridge.

 

“Okay lets see… we’ve got chicken soup with noodles, you want some?” he asked,

 

“Okay,” answered Cas,

 

Dean prepared Cas’ favorite tea and heated the soup. Cas ate pretty fast, he didn’t even taste the food he just wanted to finish it and go to bed,

 

 “Thank you Dean,” said Cas when he finished his meal, “I’m going to brush my teeth and go to bed”,

 

 “Hey, want some hardcore cuddling?” Asked Dean while cleaning the table. Cas smiled and nodded.

 

“Okay, I’ll just put on my pajamas, brush my teeth and then go to your room,”

 

“Thank you Dean,” answered Cas and then he retired to the bathroom.

 

When Dean entered his friend’s room, Cas was already in bed; Dean walked to the closet and grabbed a bunch of blankets and then he proceeded to do the ritual for the “hardcore cuddling time,” which basically meant put a lot of blankets over Cas, play Castiel’s favorite songs on his iPod and then cuddle with his friend.

 

“You need a haircut man,” said Dean chuckling, his friend’s hair was tickling his nose.

 

“Hmm,” answered Cas with a smile; the room went silent after that; only the sound of the music coming from Dean’s iPod could be heard.

 

They fell asleep like that; the light of the TARDIS lamp illuminating the room.

 

Cas knew he was broken but he was thankful for having Dean in his life.

 

Dean knew he was a shitty friend but he was grateful that Cas would still have him in his life.

 

Both were a couple of idiots in love and none of them had idea that the incident with the car would lead them to an era of chaos in their lives.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!...I added a little drawing I did today, I promised that I would add some art and since I already have half of the next chapter finished I thought I could focus on drawing something... is not my best work but I did it like in an hour... 
> 
> Next chapter is where everything begins to change, so far I've written Lisa as a nice girl, but soon she'll start to think that Dean and Cas's friendship is a little weird so of course she'll get jealous and she's going to take matters into her hands. Hard times are coming for our guys, but I promise a happy ending.


	12. The cake is awesome, Gabriel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of the big re-inauguration of the garage! Cas goes for a haircut with the usual lady, a nice woman called Missouri Moseley who apart from cutting hair also does hand reading. Lisa gets jealous after seeing a picture that Gabriel took. 
> 
> Also, everybody loves Gabe's cake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm back I had a pretty long and hideous weekend and now I've got a nasty allergy and a throat infection, but hey, since I have to stay in bed and rest, the only thing I can do now is writing and drawing. 
> 
> I added Missouri Moseley to the fic, and though in this universe she's not a medium or a psychic, she is a hand reader and has a big impact in Castiel's life. 
> 
> Here's a new chapter, I hope you like it; remember that English isn't my first language so i'm sorry for any mistake. Love you all.

 

* * *

Gabriel Novak loved his family (even Michael sometimes), he counted the days waiting for Saturdays and he tried to stay in contact with Castiel all the time. Cas was a different story, it wasn’t that he didn’t love his family, but sometimes he forgot to get in touch; days could go by and he would forget to text his father or to call his brother.

 

It was a Saturday morning and Gabriel was pretty sure that Cas wasn’t going to show up again, last Saturday he could understand, with the long weekend after Thanksgiving and all that stuff, but today Cas had no excuse, except for the fact that their father wasn’t home and Cas assumed that their weekly reunions would get postponed until Chuck came back.

 

In an act of impulsiveness and creativity (or so he would claim), Gabe decided to pay his brother a surprise visit, and that was the reason for him to be standing outside Cas and Dean’s apartment at 8:30 on a Saturday morning. He owned a key to the apartment (Dean had no idea why they decided to give him one on the first place,) so he opened the door and let himself in. Everything was silent; he opened the door of Castiel’s room only to find the two friends sound asleep and totally cuddling. They used to do it all the time when they were kids and everybody thought that it was cute, but now they were a pair of grown up men and it had a different context to see them like that.

 

Gabriel did the right thing, which was of course, take a picture with his phone; the guys didn’t even notice, they kept sleeping like babies. Gabe took a few more pictures and then left the room, he went to the kitchen and started to get breakfast ready.

 

* * *

 

Cas was very aware of Dean’s breathing on his shoulder; he could also feel the firm grip of Dean’s arm around his chest and it was great; he knew that Dean only did it as a friend but at this very moment he just didn’t care. He didn’t open his eyes; he just rested there, next to his best friend and soaking up on the moment. Cas was about to fall asleep again when he heard a loud noise coming from the kitchen, at first he thought it was his imagination but then he heard it again,

 

“Dean,” he said shaking his friend’s arm, “Dean, wake up,” Dean yawned and opened one eye,

 

“Hmmm, what is it Cas? Are you okay?” he said with a deep voice,

 

 “shhh… I think there’s someone at the apartment,” answered Cas, he sat up and tried to pay attention to the strange noises,

 

“What?” said Dean, he finally opened both eyes and sat up too,

 

“Listen… there are noises coming from the kitchen, I think someone got in the house…” They kept silent for a few seconds until they heard the noises again.

 

“Shit,” said Dean, he got up and grabbed a baseball bat from under the bed, Cas opened his drawer and took a small knife,

 

“Jesus, why do you keep that shit in your drawer?” asked Dean, he walked slowly to the door,

 

“In case some psycho serial killer breaks into my apartment at freaking 9 in the morning,” answered Cas. They kept walking until they were next to the door,

 

 “Don’t do anything stupid, okay? If there’s someone in the apartment I knock them out with the bat and you call 911,” whispered Dean,

 

“Got it,” answered Cas. Dean counted to 3 and then opened the door, they walked slowly to the kitchen, there was a guy looking for something in the fridge, Dean got closer to him and raised the bat getting ready to hit the man then the stranger turned around and yelped loudly when he saw the Winchester,

 

“AAAAHH! Jesus, what are you doing Dean?” asked Gabriel,

 

“Gabe? What the fuck?” answered Dean lowering the bat, “what are you doing here?”

 

“Breakfast, duh,” answered Gabriel rolling his eyes, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world,

 

“We were going to attack you Gabe! We though someone had broken into our home!” said Castiel,

 

“Oh… well sorry, no serial killer, just me, your favorite brother trying to cook you some breakfast and spend a nice Saturday with you,” said Gabe with a grin,

 

“Can I hit him now?” asked Dean,

 

“Jesus Dean-o I’m trying to be nice here and you want to kill me with a baseball bat,”

 

“Dude, you fucking got into our house while we were sleeping… you scared the shit out of me,”

 

“Oh, c’mon Dean, you can always hug my brother if you feel scared,” Dean just glared at him.

 

“Okay, I admit it wasn’t my best idea but hey, you’re up, I’m here and breakfast is almost ready, why don’t you go and wash up? And Cas maybe try to do something with that hair of yours. I’ll call you when the food’s ready.” Dean answered with a sigh and turned around gesturing Cas to follow him, they were about to walk out of the kitchen when Gabe spoke again,

 

“Oh Dean, I have a doubt… are you always the big spoon or do you guys take turns, because I would definitely love to see that,” said Gabe, Dean grabbed an apple from the counter and threw it at Gabe’s face,”

 

“Hey, that hurts,” said Gabriel while rubbing his head,

 

“Next time I’ll throw you the fucking bat, so just shut up,” said Dean; he walked out of the kitchen and Cas followed right behind him.

 

* * *

 

Cas opened the door to his room and to his surprise Dean joined him. The blond boy closed the door and walked to the bed,

 

“We need to talk,” said Dean, Cas sat next to him.

 

“I’m sorry for my brother’s behavior, I’m pretty sure my parents dropped him as a baby,” said Cas,

 

“No I don’t mean about your brother… we need to talk about what happened yesterday,”

 

“Oh, in that case I would prefer to talk about Gabriel then,” answered Castiel, he stood in front of his mirror, grabbed a comb and began to try to tame his hair.

 

“Cas…” said Dean crossing his arms, Cas turned around and faced his friend,

 

“I’m sorry,” said both at the same time,

 

“What?” asked Castiel,

 

“Look man, I just want to … I want to apologize, okay? You weren’t ready and I forced you to fucking drive… I’m so sorry and you have every right to be upset with me, I promise we wont try it again until you’re 100% sure that you wanna do it,"

 

“Dean, I’m the one who should be apologizing,” said Cas with a sad face, “I should have said that I wasn’t ready… but I didn’t, I let you believe that I was okay… I’m sorry you had to see me like that; I know that it sucks and that it must be hard to handle those situations… I’m so sorry,”

 

“It wasn’t your fault Cas,” said Dean sounding stubborn,

 

“Well it wasn’t yours either,” answered Castiel crossing his arms,

 

“Fine,”

 

“Fine,”

 

 They stayed there in an awkward silence for a minute; the only sound on the room was the one of Cas passing the comb through his hair.

 

“So, you’re not upset with me?” asked Dean,

 

“No, I’ve already told you Dean, it was an accident, I’m not upset with you,”

 

A knock in the door interrupted the moment,

 

“Hey! I told you to go and wash up not to go back and cuddle in bed, we have a big day today, you need your breakfast kids!” Said Gabriel from behind the door.

 

“Shut up Gabriel! We’ll be there in five!” Yelled Dean, “Jesus, your brother is a pain in the ass,” Cas smiled and then with a big sigh resigned himself and put the comb aside.

    

“Getting a haircut is now an urgent matter,” Said Cas, “I don’t want to go to tonight’s event looking like I just woke up,” Dean laughed,

 

“I’ll drive you to Missouri’s after breakfast, ” answered Dean,

 

“Thanks Dean,” answered Castiel,

 

“Now let’s go and wash our hands before your annoying brother comes back,” they walked out of the room.

 

* * *

 

 

Breakfast was great, Gabe cooked an awesome quiche and brought samples of the cake they would be having that night,

 

“I swear Gabriel, you’re an asshole sometimes but your cooking is amazing,”

 

“Thank you, I guess,” answered Gabriel after taking a sip of his coffee,

 

“So, what’s with the random visit man?” Asked Dean,

 

“It’s not a random visit Dean-o, it’s a freaking Saturday… which means that I get the spend the day with my family, but apparently Cassie here, thinks that the terms only apply if dad is around, because he hasn’t visited me for two Saturdays in a row,”

 

“Oh, crap I’m sorry,” said Cas, he really looked guilty,

 

“It’s fine little bro, I know that for you this kind of stuff isn’t important, but believe me, I really like spending my Saturdays with you, so next time, keep that in mind, okay?”

 

“Yes, I’m sorry Gabriel, it wont happen again,” answered Castiel, he wanted to make it up to his brother, so he did what his dad would do on any Saturday morning,

 

“So, Gabriel how was your week?” asked Castiel,

 

“There you go little brother, trying to act like you care because you want to make me happy,” said Gabriel with a smile, “Okay well, I haven’t seen you in a while so lets see, I had dinner with dad the day before he left to his tour, I spent thanksgiving with Kali and a few of her brothers, sold a shit-ton of cakes and pies during thanksgiving week, read a new book… oh, I found a new recipe for pie, I think that’s it,” said Gabriel while listing the things with his fingers, “what about you little brother?, I assume something happened to you yesterday and that’s why I found you and freckles here all tangled between sheets, please don’t skip the sexy details,” said Gabriel with a grin while pouring another cup of coffee. Cas looked at his brother with wide eyes, he didn’t want to talk about the incident with the car,

 

“He freaked out a little thinking ‘bout tonight, right Cas?” said Dean, Cas looked at him with thankful eyes and gave a small nod,

 

“That’s right Gabriel, it worries me that there might be a lot of people and that I’ll have to interact with all of them… but Dean has reassured me that most of the attendants will be people that we already know and that we can leave as soon as we cut the ribbon and have some cake, so I’m feeling better now,” said Cas, it was actually true, Dean and Cas had talked about it weeks ago,

 

“Okay… what about the rest of the week? How’s work?” Answered Gabriel,

 

“Everything’s great at Kraken, work is getting faster now that Charlie is part of the team,”

 

“Charlie, huh? That girl you introduced to dad?” Asked Gabriel curiously, Dean could feel a knot starting to form in his stomach; he had to remind himself that Cas wasn’t dating Charlie,

 

“Yes, you’ll probably meet her today, she’s pretty nice, Bobby even invited her to spend Thanksgiving with us,”

 

“Oh my, you even introduced her to Bobby! This is serious then,”

 

“What?” asked Castiel squinting his eyes,

 

“They’re not dating Gabe,” interrupted Dean,

 

“Aww… don’t be jelly Dean-o, Cas stil wuvs you, you’ll always be his best friend,”

 

“Okay you asshole, number one, I’m not jealous and number two, they’re not dating, I asked them on thanksgiving,”

 

“Oh, and what are you waiting for Cas? She seems like a nice girl,” said Gabriel,

 

“Gabriel, did you miss the part where I can’t feel attracted to other people in that way?”

 

“You never know Cas, you might be gray-asexual or demisexual or…”

 

“Gabriel, stop trying to analyze me, please… I’ve already told you a thousand times… besides, even if I felt something in that way for her, which I don’t, it wouldn’t be reciprocated, because she happens to like women,”

 

“Okay, I’ll drop the subject then, sorry,” answered Gabriel in defeat. The rest of the breakfast went uneventful, Dean talked about his week, told them about the plans for the night, he told them that they had only invited a close group of friends, and the local news.

 

Dean and Cas cleaned up the kitchen (since Gabe had cooked the breakfast) and then they began the chores for the day,

 

“Gabe, man… if you’re going to hang around the whole day, you’ll have to help because we’re planning on cleaning the house today so we can be lazy as fuck tomorrow,”

 

“Fine, hand me a broom or something,” said Gabriel sitting on the counter,

 

“Nah man, I have a better idea, I’ll finish with the kitchen and take care of the laundry while you drive Cas to have a haircut,”

 

“ Your car isn’t ready yet Cas?” Asked Gabriel getting down of the counter,

 

“No, they sent us the wrong pieces and now we have to wait a few more weeks for them to send the right ones,” answered Dean, it was the second time in the day that he had saved Cas when it came to his issue with driving.

 

“That sucks… I’ll drive you then,” said Gabriel,

 

“Okay, I’ll just get my shoes and we can go,” answered Cas.

 

* * *

 

They drove in silence. Gabriel’s car was an old Volkswagen Beetle 75; it was painted in a color that Gabriel defined as “red apple caramel,” and somehow it always smelled like candy inside the car. Cas tolerated the car in small doses.

 

“What are you wearing tonight?” asked Gabe,

 

“Oh, I went shopping with Charlie on Tuesday, I’ve got a nice new suit, it’s oxford blue. And I have that nice button down that you gave me for my birthday, I just need to pick a tie,” answered Castiel,

 

“And you’re even getting a haircut… oh gosh, my baby boy is growing up so fast, oh, by the way, we’ll have to send a nice picture of us to dad, he’ll be so proud, ” said Gabriel.

 

They parked outside a green house with an old wooden sign that said ‘Moseley’s hair salon/hand reading.’ Most people would think it was just a scam or a lady’s desperate attempt to get money, but Cas wasn’t like most people. They opened the door and walked in, a young lady was standing behind a counter talking on the phone,

 

“Hi sweetie, Missouri will see ya’ in a minute, okay? She’s with a client upstairs,” said the girl, her name was Kayla, she was Missouri’s niece and she had been working with her for a couple of years. Kayla resumed to her phone call. The Novaks sat at the small waiting room. Gabe grabbed his phone from his pocket and began texting Kali; Cas kept looking around, at a place that was so familiar to him, a place he had visited since he was pretty young and he couldn’t help but remember the first time he came to this place and met a mysterious lady called Missouri Moseley,

 

* * *

 

 

_Dean, Cas, Gabe and Sam were sitting in the back of Bobby’s car, it was a nice warm summer day so he was driving them to the lake; it had been a couple of months since Naomi Novak left her family, and Bobby had made it his mission to help Chuck and his family. That week Chuck was driving Michael to New York to get settled in his College, so Bobby volunteered to take care of Gabriel and Castiel._

_“Bobby… I know that you asked us to urinate before we left the house, and I did, I swear… but I have to go again,” Said Cas with desperation in his voice,_

_“Can’t you hold it?” Asked Bobby, he looked around trying to find a place with a public bathroom,_

_“No, I don’t think I can make it to the lake, I’m sorry,” Said Cas, his eyes looked a little teary,_

_“Oh, c’mon boy, it’s okay… I’m not upset, when you have to go, you have to go… let me just find a place where we can stop, okay?” Said Bobby, He kept looking around until he saw it ‘Moseley’s hair salon/hand reading.’  Missouri Moseley was an old friend of Bobby’s; she was in charge of Dean, Sam and Bobby’s haircuts._

_Bobby parked outside the salon and turned to see the kids,_

_“Don’t do anything stupid okay? We’ll be back in five minutes… Gabriel you’re in charge, if I come back and you’re not behaving, you idjits can forget about the lake, ya hear me kids?” Said Bobby with a firm voice,_

_“Yes Bobby,” answered the kids at the same time,_

_“Fine, c’mon Cas,” Castiel opened his door and got out of the car, he was walking funny, giving small jumps and with his hands between his legs. Bobby placed a hand behind his back and walked him to Missouri’s, they opened the door and got into the building,_

_“Bobby Singer, I wasn’t expecting you here until next week… did you adopt a new kid?” asked a big lady with curly hair and dark skin, she was wearing a lot of necklaces and Cas thought she was intimidating, then she greeted him with a warm smile and he couldn’t help but to smile back at her,_

_“Missouri, this is Cas, he’s my neighbor and Dean’s best friend… also he really needs to take a leak, would you mind?”_

_“Oh, right sweetie, the door behind the counter,” she said,_

_“Thank you,” said Cas, he walked as fast as he could to the bathroom._

_After he was done with his business, he went back to where Bobby and Missouri were,_

_“Thanks a lot, really… I thought my bladder was going to explode,”_

_“I like you, you’re different,” said the Lady, Cas looked at the ground ‘mom left because I’m different and she hates me’ he thought,_

_“Hey there, don’t be sad baby,” said Missouri placing a finger under his chin, “you might not see it now honey, but one day you’ll see, every person that loves you does it because you're unique,”_

_Cas lifted his head and looked at the Lady in the eye, she had a pretty deep and honest look,_

_“Okay,” said Cas shyly, Missouri took his hand and looked at it for a few seconds._

_“You’re gonna do wonderful things my boy, she said, you’ll always be surrounded by your loved ones, life can be difficult sometimes sweetheart, but I can assure you, you’re gonna have a happy life,” said Missouri, Cas just stood there, she seemed so honest, adults never looked at you that way when they were telling lies,_

_“But I’m sad now,” said Cas,_

_“Yes, but you’re not always gonna be sad honey,” she said with a smile,_

_“Are you a psychic?”_

_“ No honey, I’m just a perceptive lady, my grandma taught me how to read hands and people’s auras,” answered Missouri. After a few seconds of thinking Cas gave her a big smile,_

_“I like you, you’re different,” said Cas. Missouri and Bobby laughed loudly._

_“We better go Cas, I don’t think those three idjits can go for more than ten minutes without getting in any trouble,”_

_“Okay, thanks again for everything Miss Moseley,” said Cas,_

_“You can call me Missouri, honey…  Tell you what? Why don’t you come with Bobby and the boys next week? I can give you a haircut too,”_

_“That would be nice, ” answered Cas, he hugged the nice woman._

_“I’m telling you, he likes you, he doesn’t go around giving free hugs,” said Bobby, “see ya’ next week Missouri, thanks for everything,” said Bobby; They walked back to the car to find the other three kids miraculously behaving._

 

* * *

 

 

“Well if it isn’t my two favorite Novaks!” Said Missouri walking down the stairs, She was smiling as usual, they hugged her and she handed Gabe a candy,

 

“Oh, I love you Missouri,” he said with a smile,

 

“You’re here for a haircut honey?” she asked Cas,

 

“Yes, my hair is becoming a big problem and I want to look decent for tonight,” he answered,

 

“ Don’t worry honey, I’ll take care of that curly mess,” she said,

 

“I’ll wait here, I have to talk with the guys at the bakery to make sure that everything’s in order,” said Gabriel,

 

“Okay,” said Cas; he followed Missouri to the stairs. The ‘hair salon/hand reading’ place was a three floor colorful building; on the first floor they had a small reception, the waiting room and the bathroom, on the second floor there was a nice salon, all the walls were covered by mirrors, there were three chairs facing the mirrors from one wall, a couple of couches and a few carts full of scissors and all the tools that they needed to work with people’s hair. It reminded Cas a little of the one in “American Horror Story” but without the drama and weird stuff. Next to the salon there was a small room, which Missouri used for the hand reading. On the third floor Missouri had a nice apartment that she shared with her niece.

 

Two young women helped Missouri at the salon, but Cas only accepted to get haircuts from her. The girls smiled at Cas and he just gave them a small nod,

 

“Girls, you can take a break if you want, I’ll take care of Cas.” The girls thanked Missouri, and left the room.

 

“Okay, sweetie, take a seat,” she said; Cas walked to the chair closest to the window and sat down.

 

“Usual?” asked Missouri,

 

“Yes please,” She cut his hair pretty fast, she was an expert when it came to his hair. They talked about Chuck’s tour and Thanksgiving. Missouri also told him about her new cat.

 

“Okay, you’re ready to go honey,” she said. Cas looked great, every hair was on its place; he smiled at his reflection.

 

“As usual, you’re working miracles,” said Cas,

 

“No sweetie, I just know how to tame your hair,” she said,

 

“Thanks Missouri,” said Cas, he took out his wallet,

 

“Oh no, no son, take this as a gift … congratulations for the garage,” she said,

 

“Thank you, see you tonight,” he said,

 

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world baby” she said; Cas was about to turn around when she grabbed his hand. He looked at her with wide eyes,

 

“You have a bright future honey, your happiness is getting closer, but you’ll have to go through a dark period before everything is bright again,” she said with a sweet look,

 

“What do you mean?” he asked,

 

“Well, I can’t tell you the future, I ain’t no psychic, I can only tell you what I see here, hard times are coming but you need to hang in there, you’ll get to your happy ending, I promise. You’re gonna grow up a lot this year honey,”

 

“I… I, thank you,” he said,

 

“You don’t have to be scared baby, you are surrounded by loved ones, remember that… and if you need anything you can always come to your friend Missouri, okay?”

 

“Okay, thanks again Missouri, see you tonight,” answered Cas, the words of Missouri had left him pensive.

 

 

* * *

 

The drive back home was quiet; Gabe dropped him by the apartment and then left to go check the bakery.

 

When Cas entered the apartment Dean wasn’t there; he grabbed his phone and saw that he had a message from Dean,

 

 **\- Went to the dry cleaner’s to pick up my suit. See U in a while.** **  
**

**\- I’m home. Gabe went to the bakery. I think I’ll take a bath.**

 

-   **Wow! Deep talk with Missouri?**

      

-   **Kind of, see you later.**

 

When Cas really needed to think he would take a bath, not like when he needed to think about a mathematical problem, but more like when he had a lot in his head and he needed to organize it. So he started the water and got ready for his bath, Missouri’s words echoing in his head.

 

Dean showed up an hour later, by this point Cas had already freaked out three times, used one of his bath bombs (milky way according to the package), almost had a meltdown at least twice and masturbated once.

At the end he came to the conclusion that even if he couldn’t know exactly what was going to happen. At least Missouri said that his story had a happy ending. A knock on the door took him out of his thoughts.

 

“You okay in there Cas?” Asked Dean,

 

“ Yes Dean,”

 

“Okay, don’t stay to long in the water, you’re gonna look like a prune,”

 

“I’ll be out in a minute,” Answered Cas. He stood up and grabbed his towel, he pulled the plug of the bathtub and stood there watching the water go.

 

Cas got out of the bathroom only wearing a towel around his waist. Dean was carrying the laundry basket to his room when he saw his best friend.

 

“Jesus!” He said. Cas looked damn hot, all groomed with his new haircut and his chest a little wet after the bath; he didn’t have a muscular body, but he was athletic, the way his hipbones showed over the edge of the towel was doing things to Dean.

 

“What?” asked Castiel,

 

“Nothing I just… I didn’t hear you coming out of the bathroom, that’s all,”

 

“Oh, well I’ll be at my room if you need me,” said Cas,

 

“Fine, I’ll just… I’ll take a quick shower and maybe we could order some Chinese after?” asked Dean; he needed to get away from Cas ASAP, before his friend noticed the tent forming under his sweatpants.

 

“Yes Dean, that sounds nice,” said Cas, he then walked to his room.

 

 

* * *

 

After what was in no way a quick shower (it wasn’t Dean’s fault that Cas looked so damn hot that day), they ordered their food and watched Doctor Who.

 

“Four pm already, we should probably get ready,” said Dean. He stood up, grabbed their plates and walked to the kitchen.

 

Cas stood up as well and walked to his room. He grabbed his iPad and played a few games until he heard Dean calling from outside his room,

 

“Cas, I can hear you playing with your damn iPad! Get dressed already man! We can’t be late!”  Cas turned off his tablet and put it aside.

 

Cas got dressed pretty fast; he really liked the suit that Charlie helped him pick. The button down that Gabriel gave him was white. He spent a lot of time trying to figure out which tie to wear, but at the end (and probably because he had spent the last hour and a half watching freaking Doctor Who), he picked a red and blue striped bow tie. He didn’t own anything remotely close to ‘formal shoes’, and the event wasn’t actually that formal, he just needed to look nice, so he put on his black Doc Martens. His hair was still in place, thanks to Missouri’s magical hands, so now he was ready.

 

* * *

 

Dean was standing in front of his mirror trying to make the knot of his tie; he was concentrating pretty hard, his tongue sticking from one side of his mouth.  He was wearing a gunmetal suit, a white button down and a green tie. He kept wondering what would Cas wear.

 

After a few minutes he finally was ready, he grabbed his phone and left his room. He knocked on Castiel’s door and waited for a few seconds before opening it.

 

“Heya Cas, you ready?” Asked Dean while fixing his tie, he lifted his face and he almost had a heart attack when he saw his best friend,

 

“Wow,” said Dean,

 

“Hi Dean, I’m ready now… I just can’t find my camera,” he said.

 

“Dude, you look, …” said Dean, his brain wasn’t working right,

 

“Don’t you think it’s too much? I’m beginning to thing that I look like a weird mix between the last three doctors,” said Cas. Here it was, freaking ‘alone time’ material for the rest of his life… Castiel Novak dressed as a weird mix of the last three doctors… Dean was freaking losing it.

 

“It actually looks pretty nice Cas, you look hot, that a new suit?” asked Dean trying to sound casual. Cas blushed a little when his friend said that he looked hot.

 

“Yes, Charlie helped me pick it,” answered Cas.

 

 _‘I’m sending five dozens of roses to that girl,’_ thought Dean.

 

“Well it’s awesome man,” said Dean with a stupid grin on his face, “oh, and I took your camera, is charging in the kitchen,”

 

“Thank you Dean,” answered Cas.

 

* * *

 

 

The event was great; Bobby, Dean and Cas cut the ribbon to symbolize the opening of the garage. Gabe showed up with a huge cake with the shape of ‘Singer & son’s’ logo. The local news and two guys from a mechanics and cars blog showed up as well. 

 

It wasn’t a big thing, just their closest friends and family, but it was a nice evening. The three owners of the garage had to pose for a few pictures, but Dean said it was enough when he noticed that Cas was starting to scratch his hand.

 

The garage was decorated pretty cool, they even had a few tables and chairs and a candy bar (Gabriel was the most excited about that) for the guests.

 

Dean and Lisa were talking to Benny when she noticed that she didn’t have her phone with her,

 

“Dean, honey… where did you put my purse?” asked Lisa,

 

“Oh, it’s in my office… Want me to go get it?” Answered Dean,

 

“Nah, it’s fine, I’ll get it,” she said, and after giving Dean a quick peck on the lips, she left.

 

“She’s something else brother,” said Benny,

 

“I know, I really like her,” answered Dean with a grin,

 

“It’s weird though,”

 

“What?” asked Dean,

 

“She’s not your usual type… most of the time you go for ‘nice and calm’, but man, she seems like she could totally kick your ass if you make her angry,”

 

“Hmm… haven’t thought about it … maybe you’re right, maybe that’s why my former relationships didn’t work,” said Dean,

 

“Maybe,” said Benny after taking a sip of his beer, 

 

* * *

 

 

Bobby was having a conversation with Gabe next to the candy bar,

 

“The cake is awesome, Gabriel,” said Bobby finishing his slice of cake,

 

“Glad you liked it Bobby,” said Gabe, he was really busy right now trying to soak a bunch of marshmallows under the chocolate fountain,

 

“Easy there kid, don’t want to get diabetes,”

 

“Oh, c’mon Bobby, nobody likes a party pooper,” answered Gabe with a smirk, “ I have a new picture for your collection, took it this morning,”

 

“Hmm… how did you...?” Asked Bobby,

 

“I wanted to surprise them with breakfast today, found them like this,” answered Gabriel; he grabbed his phone from his pocket and showed him the picture of Dean and Cas cuddling that morning.

 

“Those idjits,” said Bobby with a smile, “I swear, one of this days I will print a collage of these pictures and hang it in my living room,”

 

“I would pay to see that,” answered Gabriel. Bobby laughed again and then handed the phone to Gabe. Gabriel was about to take the phone from Bobby’s hand when another hand (a woman’s hand), grabbed it first,

 

“May I?” said Lisa, she didn’t need to ask; she had already taken the phone. Bobby and Gabriel looked at her in confusion; they were in a really awkward silence,

 

“They look cute,” she said, “when was this taken?”

 

“This morning,” said Gabriel, he wasn’t sure of what the hell was going on,

 

“I see, I thought Castiel didn’t like human contact,” she said,

 

“ It’s complicated… sometimes he does like it, when he feels comfortable around the other person,” said Bobby,

 

“He’s pretty interesting,” she said to Gabriel, she handed him the phone and smiled at him.

 

“Yeah, he really is,” said Gabe. She smiled at them and then left to Dean’s office.

 

“What the hell did just happen?” asked Gabriel,

 

“I have no clue son, was she upset? Was she happy?” asked Bobby,

 

“I hope we don’t get Dean in any trouble,” said Gabe,

 

“Yeah,” answered Bobby.

* * *

 

Lisa entered Dean’s office and turned on the lights, she saw her purse and Dean’s coat on the desk. She grabbed her phone from her purse and sat on the desk, looking at her surroundings. Last time she was here she hadn’t actually observed the place with detail, but now she was alone and she had the time.

 

The office wasn’t that big, it had a desk with two chairs for the clients on one side and Dean’s leather chair on the other; a black couch, a few plants and a lot of pictures. On Dean’s desk, next to his computer there was a framed picture, Lisa stretched her hand and grabbed the frame.

 

When she looked at the picture in her hands she saw a blond freckled kid with green eyes, he was maybe 8 years old, and was sitting next to a boy with messy dark hair and big blue eyes. Next to them, lying on his tummy was a younger boy with long brown hair. The three kids were wearing pajamas. Only the youngest boy was looking at the camera.

 

 

 

She put the picture back on its place and stood up to look at the pictures on the walls; most of them showed Dean, Cas and Sam at different ages. Bobby and Gabriel appeared in a few of them too, but Cas was basically in all of them. She sat on the couch and started to think. Dean was so attached to his friend; they had spent basically all their lives together… What if there was something between them? What if Dean was dating her just to make Cas jealous? Or worst, what if Dean was using her to cover his relationship with Castiel?

 

She kept thinking about it for a long time; she was upset, not only with Dean but also with herself for not noticing this before. She really liked Dean; he was a successful, handsome man, she could see herself having a future with him, a nice big house, a few kids, the perfect life she always wanted; she just needed to play her cards right and be smart. First, she needed to figure out exactly what was going on, and to accomplish that she would have to befriend Castiel.

 

She was in the middle of planning her next move when the door opened,

 

“Hey Lis, did you find your purse?” Said Dean,

 

“Yes, I was just texting my mom, she wanted to know if we’re having fun,”

 

“Okay, wanna come back to the party? We could dance,”

 

“Actually, I was thinking… I could go for a second round of that delicious cake,” she said with a smile,

 

“That’s my girl,” answered Dean. They held hands and walked out of the office together.

 

* * *

 

Cas and Charlie were sitting together at a table eating cake,

 

“Gosh, what is it with you Novaks? Why are you all so freaking talented man? This cake is art,” said Charlie with a smile, she was wearing a blue dress that matched Castiel’s suit, black leggings, black military boots and a black leather jacket; she was also wearing a flower crown on her head, she looked beautiful.

 

Cas just smiled and kept eating his cake,

 

“I can ask Gabriel for the recipe,”

 

“Oh my God! Yes please!” Said Charlie with a big smile.

 

“Hey Guys,” came a voice from behind Charlie, it was Lisa, “May I?” asked her while pointing to a chair next to Charlie, Charlie smiled at her and answered politely,

 

“Yes, of course,” Lisa sat down next to the redhead.

 

“So… where’s Dean?” asked Charlie,

 

“Oh, he’s getting more cake, we just can’t stop eating; it’s delicious,” answered Lisa with a smile,

 

“Right? I was just telling that to Cas… oh, by the way I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced… I’m Charlie Bradbury,”

 

“Hi Charlie, I’m Lisa Braeden, **Dean’s girlfriend** ,” she said, exaggerating a little the last part of her sentence, “so, are you and Cas dating?”

 

Charlie studied her for a few seconds; there was something off about this girl. She smiled at her politely and said,

 

“Nope, we’re just friends, I work with Cas at Kraken,”

 

“Oh, well such a shame, you two look so cute together, don’t they Dean?” Dean was standing behind Cas with a plate in each hand, he handed Lisa her plate and sat next to his best friend,

 

“Sorry what?” asked Dean,

 

“I was just telling them, they make such a cute couple,” she said again. Dean grabbed a bite from his cake before answering,

 

“Oh, they’re not together,” he said, “They’re just friends,”

 

“Too bad,” said Lisa,

 

“What are you gonna do?” said Charlie, “ **you can’t force a guy to love you** , can you? Now, if you’ll excuse us, Cas and I were about to hit the dance floor,” she stood up and dragged Castiel with her.

 

* * *

 

Cas and Charlie danced to ‘Shake it off’ by Taylor Swift; he wasn’t a great dancer but he enjoyed doing goofy stuff with his friend, they were just jumping and laughing and spinning like idiots,

 

“I don’t like her,” said Charlie,

 

“Who? Taylor Swift?” Asked Cas,

 

“No, I love Taylor Swift… I don’t like Lisa,” answered her,

 

“Oh, can I tell you a secret?” asked Cas,

 

“Of course Cas, you can tell me anything,”

 

“The truth is, I don’t think I like her either… the first time we met she called me Sheldon Cooper,”

 

“I don’t know what it is, I just don’t like her… I hope I’m wrong though, Dean’s a good guy, he deserves to be happy,” said Charlie with an apologetic smile,

 

“Yes, he does,” answered Cas.

 

They danced for a couple more songs but eventually went back to their table. They had to spend the rest of the night listening to Lisa talking about her magnificent boyfriend and watching her playing with his hair.  Charlie ended up falling asleep with her head on the table. Cas felt jealous and miserable hearing about Dean’s love life, so he opted to do one of his favorite activities: shutting down in his happy place and falling asleep.

 

The next time Lisa turned her attention to Cas and Charlie she felt really offended to find them sound asleep. Dean tried very hard not to laugh but he failed.

 

“It’s probably getting late anyway… maybe they were tired from all the dancing, walk me to my car?” she asked at the end,

 

“Sure,” answered Dean, he stood up and placed his jacket over his sleeping friends before walking with Lisa to the door.

 

After Lisa left in her car, Dean passed a hand through his hair and then let out a long sigh,

 

“Jesus, this was a weird night,” he said before going back inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, I added a drawing to this one too. It's not my nicest job either but I can't do a lot lying in bed. I'll try to get some rest and hopefully by the end of the week I'll upload the next chapter.
> 
> Also, i know i keep using the phrase "I can't feel attracted to other people in that way," every time that Cas tries to avoid the subject of his sexual or romantic orientation. I have a reason for that, I know it would be easier if i had him saying that he's asexual or aromantic, but he would be lying, because at the end of the day he's sexually and romantically attracted to Dean Winchester, he just lives in a road called "denial". I swear, at the end of the fic that phrase will make more sense.


	13. I ship it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lisa is trying to find out if there's something going on between Dean and Cas. Charlie spends an awesome night with the guys watching movies under the stars. Charlie realizes 2 things: 1) She ships Destiel 2) she doesn't like Lisa at all. Lisa starts to show her real personality and it turns out that she's a little homophobic. 
> 
> We learn what happened when Naomi left her family all those years ago (from Castiel's point of view of course).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I've been trying to post during the whole week but i've been so freaking busy, anyway, here it is, a new chapter (and a long one).
> 
> Lisa is a bit of an homophobic bitch in this chapter, though Charlie puts her in her place. Still, it doesn't have insults or anything strong but i'm letting you guys know. This week i'll have a lot of things to do too, but i'll try to update, I promise. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading, i love you all and remember that English isn't my first lenguaje so i'm sorry for any mistake.

* * *

Charlie was sound asleep, sprawled on her bed, all warm and cozy under a lot of blankets; when suddenly the constant buzz of her phone next to her woke her up; she grabbed the phone and looked at the screen, why was Castiel calling her at 8:15 am on a freaking Sunday?

 

“Cas? Are you okay? Did someone die?” Asked the redhead with worried voice,

 

“Oh, hey Charlie it’s me, Dean,” answered a voice in the phone,

 

“Dean, what’s wrong? Is Cas Okay?” By this point she was already up and trying to find her shoes,

 

“Oh yeah, Cas is fine, still asleep, listen, I was just wondering, Lisa called me and she wants to ask you and Cas to have brunch with us today, what do you say?”

 

Charlie plopped herself back on her bed, relieved that her friend was fine,

 

“Oh my God Dean! Are you really calling me at this godforsaken hour on a freaking Sunday because your girlfriend wants to have brunch, Jesus, I was having an awesome dream Dean, two words, Emma Stone! I hate you…”

 

“She’s freakin’ hot man…” Answered Dean with a grin, “Hey, listen Red, I’m sorry I thought you were one of those ‘seize the day’ kind of person,”

 

“I am, Dean… but Sundays are sacred, they were created to sleep…”

 

“Okay, just say that you’ll come and then you can go back to your awesome dream,”

 

“Is Cas coming?” she asked; no way she was having brunch just with the two lovebirds, 

 

“Yeah,”

 

“Fine, I’m in then… just text me the address, at what time are we supposed to meet?” she said,

 

“Noon,” said Dean,

 

“Okay, see ya… and don’t call me again unless someone is dead or something like that, bye,” She said; Dean was about to answer but Charlie ended the call.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean laughed and shook his head; apparently Charlie wasn’t a morning person, just like Cas. He placed Castiel’s phone back on the bedside table,

 

“Hey Cas, Charlie said she’s coming too,” said Dean; he wasn’t sure if Cas had gone back to sleep after he woke him up a few minutes ago to tell him about the brunch plan.

 

“Sleeping, go away,” said Cas from under the blankets,

 

“Fine man, sorry,” said Dean and then he left the room.

 

Dean tried to go back to sleep but it was useless. Lisa had called him at 7:54 in the morning to tell him about her incredible plan: a brunch with Cas and Charlie, apparently she had some kind of epiphany at that freaking hour and now she felt that as Dean’s girlfriend she needed to get along with his friends too. Dean was pretty happy about it, he wanted Cas to be friends with her, and also, Charlie had told him that she needed to make more friends in town so this was just perfect.

 

* * *

 

It took Cas a few minutes but he finally managed to go back to sleep. He had a weird dream in which Lisa spent hours talking about her relationship with Dean while he braided her hair; at some point during the dream Lisa looked at Cas straight in the eyes and said, “Why are you Crying Castiel?” He woke up pretty fast after that and didn’t go back to sleep.

 

It was 10:37 already, so he opted for getting out of bed and getting ready for the brunch.

 

* * *

 

When Dean and Cas arrived at the restaurant Lisa was already there. It was a small place in downtown. The weather was nice that day. The air was a little chilly but the sun was shining and there wasn’t a single cloud on the sky, so she opted for a table at the deck.

 

“Hi guys, how are you?” asked Lisa; she was wearing a red dress that left little to the imagination with a black cardigan and her hair in a ponytail.

 

“Hi Lis,” said Dean, he gave her a quick peck on the lips. Cas walked straight to his chair and sat down.

 

“Hello Lisa,” said Cas, he was still feeling pretty sleepy. Dean sat next to Lisa and waited for the waitress to show up.

 

A nice lady with short blonde hair approached their table,

 

“Hi, mi name is Louise and I’ll be your waitress today, can I get you guys some drinks while you see the menu? She asked with a big smile. She handed them the menus and grabbed a little notepad from a pocket in her apron.

 

“Hi, I’ll have a black tea please,” said Cas rubbing his eyes,

 

“Coffee for me, please,” said Dean,

 

“I’ll have a latte,” answered Lisa.

 

From where Cas was sitting he could see Charlie’s car parking outside the restaurant, so he decided to order a drink for her friend as well,

 

“Oh, and can we please have another coffee?” asked Cas,

 

“Okay, so we have, two coffees, a latte and black tea for you?”

 

“That’s right,” said Cas,

 

“Okay, I’ll be right back with your drinks,” said the waitress, then she winked at Cas and he blushed a little. Dean saw the action too and he tried pretty hard to act like he was cool whit it.

 

“Why did you order another Coffee?” asked Dean once the waitress was gone,

 

“Charlie,” said Cas,

 

“Hey guys!” said Charlie walking to their table; she took the seat next to Cas.

 

“How did you...?” asked Dean a little surprised,

 

“I saw her parking outside the building,” answered Cas.

 

“Oh, well… hi Red! How you doing?” said Dean,

 

“Fine I guess, I think I’m still asleep thought, I could use a coffee, have you already ordered?” said Charlie taking the menu that was in front of her. In that moment the waitress came back to the table with their drinks on a tray, she placed their drinks on the table,

 

“Latte for you, Coffee for you, black tea for you, honey, and I guess the extra coffee is for you," she said looking at Charlie,

 

“Thank you,” said Charlie, she grabbed her cup and drank from it as if it was the most delicious thing she had ever tasted.

 

“Can I take your order or do you need more time?” she asked, she kept glancing at Cas.

 

“I’ll have the eggplant quiche,” said Lisa,

 

“I want the bacon cheese burger, please,” said Dean, he couldn’t resist. Lisa looked at him with a stare that clearly said ‘really?’ as if hamburgers were forbidden during brunch or something like that,

 

“I’ll have the same, please,” said Cas, he tried to avoid looking at the waitress,

 

“Make it three of those,” said Charlie with a smile. The waitress wrote it down on her notepad and turned her attention back to Castiel,

 

“Okay, one eggplant quiche and three bacon cheese burgers, anything else?” she asked,

 

“That’s all, thank you,” said Dean; he could sense that Cas was uncomfortable,

 

“Okay, be right back with your food,” she said, she grabbed the menus from the table and walked to the kitchen. They sat in silence for a few seconds and then Lisa turned her attention to Charlie,

 

“So… Charlie, Dean tells me that you are new in town,” she said after taking a sip from her coffee,

 

“Yes, I moved from Kansas a few weeks ago,” answered Charlie,

 

“And what do you think about Sioux Falls so far?” asked Lisa,

 

“I love it, Cas has been my guide since I moved in and we’ve been to a bunch of awesome places,” said Charlie with a smile,

 

“That’s great, I was going to volunteer to show you around but it’s nice to know that Cas is being such a gentleman,” said Lisa with a smile.

 

“What about you Lisa? Are you from Sioux Falls?” asked Charlie pretending to be interested,

 

“No, I’m from Michigan, we moved here seven years ago because of my dad’s job,” she said. They stayed in silence after that, it wasn’t awkward but Cas didn’t feel comfortable around Lisa and Charlie just didn’t like her.

 

The rest of the brunch went like that, Lisa kept asking questions to Charlie and Cas, it was like a scripted interview, like Lisa was trying to learn everything about them.

 

When the food arrived, Cas was the happiest at the table; he just wanted to stop talking to Lisa for a few minutes. The waitress kept looking at Castiel, she asked him twice if they needed anything else and she was so not respecting his personal space, still nobody said a thing.

 

“This burgers are awesome,” said Dean with his mouth full,

 

“Dean, honey… mind your manners please” Said Lisa. Dean blushed a little and he didn’t say another word until he finished his burger. Cas was so used to eating with Dean that he wasn’t bothered by Dean’s manners at the table and Charlie didn’t care, she actually thought it was kinda rude to scold someone for their manners in front of other people.

 

Cas was getting pretty stressed; Lisa wouldn’t stop asking weird personal questions to them, and then there was the freaking waitress who kept looking at him, did he have something on his face?

 

An hour later Cas was ready to go home and fall asleep for the rest of the day.  Dean ordered the check (and another slice of pie to go), the waitress left the note on the table and a few minutes later she came back to pick up the money, when she returned to give them their change, she handed the receipt to Cas and winked at him, he looked at her squinting his eyes and managed an awkward smile.

 

When they left the restaurant Dean turned his attention to his best friend,

 

“Did she give you her number?” asked Dean curiously,

 

“Who?” asked Castiel.

 

“The waitress, man,”

 

“Why would she give me her number? I don’t need it,” answered Cas a little confused. Dean laughed and ruffled his friend’s hair,

 

“Nevermind Cas… just, never change okay?”

 

“I don’t intent to,” answered Cas with a smile.

 

“Anyway, Cas do you mind if I steal Dean for a few hours? I’m pretty sure that Charlie can drive you home,” said Lisa,

 

“Yeah, no problem Cas, c’mon,” said Charlie,

 

“Okay,” said Cas,

 

“You sure?” asked Dean,

 

“Yes Dean, as long as I don’t have to walk all the way back to the apartment, y really don’t care who drives me… see you later,” said Cas, he wasn’t sure if he sounded a little rude, but he was tired and just wanted to go home an take a long nap.

 

Once they were driving to Cas and Dean’s apartment, Charlie finally spoke about their weird morning,

 

“Was it just me or Lisa was kinda interviewing us back in the restaurant?” asked Charlie,

 

“No, she was acting weird, she gave me a headache,” said Cas, he was really happy that he could be honest with Charlie,

 

“I’m telling you Cas, that girl is freaking crazy,” said Charlie,

 

“I know, but I guess I have to like her, she’s Dean’s girlfriend,” admitted Castiel,

 

“Dude, you don’t have to like anyone just because she’s dating a friend, if you don’t like the girl, that’s okay, I mean, you don’t have to be rude to her, but you don’t have to become BFFs either,”

 

“You’re probably right, I hated Dean’s last boyfriend, I tolerated him because of Dean, but when they broke up I was the happiest person… apart from Bobby, he really hated Aaron,” Charlie went silent for a few seconds, she had forgotten that Dean was bisexual; She was pretty sure that something was going on between Dean and Cas the first time she saw them together, but then she learned that Cas was asexual (probably) and that Dean was dating Lisa, so then she thought that it was just her imagination when she felt a weird sexual tension between those two, but now that she thought about it, maybe she was right, there was something going on there (at least from Dean’s side,)

 

“Charlie?” asked Cas,

 

“Sorry what?” asked Charlie,

 

"What are you thinking about?” Asked Cas,

 

“I was just trying to picture Dean’s ex, Aaron?” said Charlie,

 

“He was the worst, let me tell you…” started Cas, and they kept talking about Aaron for the rest of the ride.

 

By the time they were parked outside the apartment, Charlie was also part of team ‘we’re glad Aaron is gone’.

 

Charlie wanted to watch a movie with Cas, but he told her that he was pretty tired after the weird morning they had, so they decided to leave the movie for another day. They hugged and said goodbye. Cas waited on the sidewalk until Charlie’s car turned around in the corner then he walked to his apartment with only one thing in his mind: his bed.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the week went by like that: Lisa kept arranging random gatherings with Dean, Cas and Charlie. Dean was ecstatic to see that her girlfriend was getting along with his best friend. He was also getting to know better Charlie and he liked spending time with her too, he was glad that Cas had introduced him to such an awesome friend.

 

By Friday even Dean was tired of seeing Lisa every single day, so he planned a quiet evening at home with Cas. They were cooking Buffalo wings when Dean had an idea,

 

“Hey Cas, today is December 11th, shit’s starting to get pretty cold… I think this is our last chance of the year to have a ‘rooftop movie party’, what do you say? Wanna call Charlie and show her the right way to spend a Friday night? Just the three of us” said Dean.

 

“It sound great Dean, I’ll call her, you keep an eye on our dinner,” answered Cas.

 

The “rooftop movie party” was an old Singer/Winchester tradition. It started when Sam had and appendix surgery during a summer. He wanted to go and swim with the rest of his friends, but he needed to stay home and rest. Dean and Cas skipped all the fun of the summer to stay with little Sammy inside the house. One day Bobby felt so sorry for them that he came up with an idea, he put an air mattress, a lot of blankets and pillows in the middle of the backyard, then he stretched a white piece of fabric all over a wall and he bought an old movie projector, he basically put together a freaking personal movie theater for the kids. They spent the rest of the summer watching movies in the backyard.

After that summer they would do it from time to time, and eventually they started to call those nights “backyard movie parties;” Now that Dean and Cas lived at the apartment they wanted to keep the tradition alive but since they didn’t have a backyard, they opted for moving their “parties” to the roof of the building.

 

When Cas called Charlie and invited her, she was thrilled; first because the plan sounded awesome, there was something about watching movies under the stars that seemed magical to her, and second (and more important), apparently Lisa wasn’t invited to the party.

 

Once Cas ended the call with Charlie, they went upstairs to set up everything for their evening. After years of improvised movie nights they had become experts on the subject, they had one of those portable movie screens now, an inflatable mattress and a few thermal blankets for the winter. They also had a new projector that they bought exclusively for their “rooftop movie parties”. Charlie volunteered to bring Candies and a pie, so they finished cooking the wings and waited for her to show up.

 

Charlie arrived an hour later with a bag full of candies and an apple pie. They decided to have dinner in the dining room while they choose a movie to watch. Dean wanted to watch Wall-e, Cas wanted a Wes Anderson movie (“I don’t care which one, I just find the aesthetic of his movies pretty soothing Dean”) and Charlie wanted to watch the first movie of Captain America. At the end Charlie won the argument because 1) she was the guest and 2) “please guys, you don’t understand, I just re-watched Agent Carter and I have a mighty need to watch Captain America, it’s like a life or death situation.”

 

After dinner they went to the rooftop. Charlie was pretty excited; she loved how they have arranged the place,

 

“You guys this is awesome!” she said, “Are your neighbors cool with this?”

 

Dean opened his computer and connected it to the projector,

 

“Yeah, they don’t care… they barely use this place… only the lady from number 3 comes up here because she keeps her plants on that corner,” answered Dean pointing at the other side of the rooftop, “apart from her, this place is basically ours,”

 

“Awesome,” said Charlie,

 

“Okay, you need to stop hanging out with Dean, you’re starting to sound like him,” said Cas with a smile; Charlie laughed and walked towards the air mattress, she grabbed a pillow and a blanket then she stood in front of the mattress, after a few seconds of consideration she decided to pick the left side of the mattress, that way Dean and Cas would have to sit together.

 

When Dean finished setting up the computer, he pressed play and walked to the mattress, Charlie and Cas were already there, sitting next to each other, Cas was in the middle of the mattress so Dean grabbed a blanket and sat next to him. They ate almost all the bag of candies and the whole pie while watching the movie; Dean and Charlie kept mentioning how hot Agent Carter was during the whole movie. They stayed there after the movie was finished, they looked at the stars and Cas told them the name of almost every star they saw, when the temperature began to lower even more they decided to call it a night; they picked up their stuff and walked back downstairs.

 

“Guys, can I crash in your couch? I might fall asleep if I drive home right now,” said Charlie after a yawn,

 

“It’s cool Charlie, you can take my bed,” Said Dean,

 

“You sure? I don wanna impose, I mean, the couch is totally cool” said Charlie,

 

“It’s okay Charlie, I can share my bed with Dean and you can take his bed, it is not a problem,” said Cas,

 

“Thanks guys,” said Charlie. She was already wearing a comfy pair of sweatpants and Cas gave her a new toothbrush, so after a few minutes she was ready to go to bed,

 

“Night guys, thanks for everything, tonight was awesome,” said Charlie,

 

“Good night Charlie,” answered Cas and Dean at the same time. Charlie retired to Dean’s bedroom and a few minutes later the boys went to Castiel’s room.

* * *

 

It was the second time that Charlie had been in Dean’s room. Even though he shared a lot of interests with Cas, their bedrooms were very different. Castiel had a lot of stuff in his room: posters, drawings, art supplies, collectibles, books… but he had the weird ability to keep everything in order and a mess at the same time, he would always have clothes on the floor, empty cans of soda or bags of Doritos on his desk and he would never make his bed. Dean, on the other hand, was one of those guys obsessed with order, his room was impeccable, everything had a place, his bed was perfectly made and even the posters on his walls looked perfectly aligned. He had similar stuff to Cas, his room was full of Doctor Who, Star Wars and Marvel basically.

 

The rooms were the same size, and were arranged almost in the same way, the big difference was that on the wall that Cas kept a huge bookshelf full of books, Dean kept his sound system and all of his records, CDs and cassettes.

 

Charlie gave a quick look at Dean’s music; he had different music taste than Cas, while Castiel was into indie Rock and was obsessed with Fall Out Boy, Dean loved the classics; Charlie found The Beatles, Queen, AC/DC and Led Zeppelin between Dean’s records.

 

After a few minutes Charlie concluded that it wasn’t nice from her to be snooping around, so she decided to go to bed; Dean’s bed was awesome – memory foam, he had told her- so Charlie basically fell asleep the moment her back touched the mattress.

 

* * *

 

Charlie opened her eyes and everything was dark, it took her a few minutes to remember that she wasn’t at her apartment; she turned around and saw that it was 4:57 am, she immediately got comfortable again and tried to go back to sleep, but now she was thirsty, so she ended up getting out of bed.

 

She was basically still asleep while she walked to the kitchen to grab some water; she opened the fridge, took a bottle of water and walked back to Dean’s room. 

 

Now, Charlie Bradbury was very proud of her ability to always pay attention at her surroundings, she swore that se was born with a GPS inside her head, but well, it was freaking 5 in the morning and she was asleep as hell, so maybe she opened the door to the wrong room when she tried to return to Dean’s bedroom.

 

It took her a few seconds to realize that she had opened the door to Cas’s bedroom instead, it also took all of her willpower to stop herself from fangirling at what she saw: Dean and Cas cuddling in bed, Dean had an arm around Cas’s chest and his forehead was resting on Castiel’s shoulder; both were smiling and peacefully asleep.  She had already seen a few pictures of them cuddling, and right now they were only illuminated by a TARDIS lamp next to Cas’s bed, but she thought it was the cutest shit she had ever seen; covering her mouth and trying to contain a giggle, she walked out of the room and closed the door behind her. Once she was back at Dean’s room, she sat on the bed and drank some water, she placed the bottle on the nightstand next to the bed and smiled widely,

 

“I ship it,” she said.

 

She spent 15 minutes trying to come up with a “couple’s name” for her friends before she fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

The next morning (and after 15 minutes of ignoring the alarm), Cas woke up and got ready for his day with Gabe; he had promised his brother that he would spend the whole Saturday with him. Cas was trying to be quiet because Dean was still asleep, but apparently he didn’t have ninja skills because Dean woke up a few minutes after Cas,

 

“You ready to go?” asked Dean with a deep voice, burrowed between the blankets.

 

“Almost,” said Cas. Dean sat up and passed a hand through his hair, “Dean, you should keep sleeping, I’ll let you know when I’m ready to go,”

 

“Nah man, it’s fine, I’ll just go make some coffee while you finish,” Dean stood up and stretched a little, it was a cold morning so he grabbed a blue sweater from the closet, “can I borrow this? I don’t want to bother Charlie, she’s probably still asleep,” asked Dean,

 

“Yes Dean, it’s okay.”

 

By the time Cas was ready, Dean was leaning on the kitchen counter drinking his second cup of coffee, Dean’s door was still closed so Cas assumed that Dean was right and Charlie was still sleeping,

 

“C’mon, lets drive you to Chuck’s before your brother decides to invade our home again,” said Dean, he put his cup in the sink and grabbed the post-it notepad from a drawer, “we’ll leave Charlie a note in case she wakes up,”

 

**Charlie,**

**Driving Cas to Chuck’s,**

**B back soon, there’s coffee in the machine.**

**I’ll bring doughnuts. :D**

 

They put the note on the bathroom door, since it would probably be the first place Charlie would go to when she woke up and then they walked out of the apartment.

 

* * *

 

An annoying knocking woke Charlie up. Apparently there was someone outside the apartment and they were knocking and pressing the doorbell like freaking maniacs,

 

“Jesus,” said Charlie, she got out of bed and wrapped herself in a blanket. The redhead walked out of Dean’s bedroom and straight to the front door,

 

“I’m coming, I’m coming… just, shut up,” said Charlie, she looked through the peephole and saw Lisa standing on the other side of the door, _‘great, little miss sunshine is here,’_ she thought.

 

“Hi Lisa!” Said Charlie opening the door. Lisa was all smiles, wearing make up and with her hair beautifully braided, how did she manage to wake up so early on the weekends? Charlie would never understand.

 

“Oh, hi Charlie! Is Dean awake yet? I wanted to surprise him,” said Lisa.

 

“I don’t know, I’ll check,” said Charlie, she gestured Lisa to come in.

 

“Why are you wearing a blanket? Oh my God, Charlie! Did you sleep here? Did you spend the night with Cas?” asked Lisa with a smile in her face,

 

“Hum, no…” said Charlie rolling her eyes, “I mean, yeah I stayed at the apartment last night but I didn’t share a bed with anyone,” she walked down the hallway to Cas’s room and a piece of paper on the bathroom’s door caught her attention, she grabbed it,

 

“Oh, apparently Dean’s up already… he’s driving Cas to Chuck’s, he’ll be back soon though and he’ll bring doughnuts,” said Charlie. _‘Awesome, now I have to stay with her until Dean shows up’,_ she thought.

 

They walked to the kitchen and shared some coffee while they waited for Dean,

 

“You know Charlie? It’s a good thing that Dean isn’t here actually… I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” said Lisa,

 

“Really, about what?” asked Charlie though she already had an idea,

 

“Well, I’m a very observant woman, Charlie…and since we all started hanging around more, I couldn’t help but noticing that there’s something going on between you and Castiel… I mean, I know that you two are not together but it’s just, the way you’re with each other and I don’t know, I just feel it, you know? You two would make a wonderful couple,” said Lisa, she adopted a solemn face; she really meant business.

 

“Okay?” said Charlie squinting her eyes, what the hell was wrong with this girl?

 

“And well, since you and I are now friends… I want to help you with Cas, I know he’s a little oblivious… like last week when the waitress was basically throwing herself at him and he didn’t even notice… that’s why I think you should take a direct approach,” apparently Lisa had a plan and everything,

 

“Come again?” said Charlie almost choking with her coffee,

 

“Well Charlie, it’s pretty simple… just tell him how you feel and I don’t know? Maybe ask him out? Kiss him? Men love when we take the initiative,” she said with a fake smile,

 

“Are we talking about the same Castiel here? The one that doesn’t even like to shake hands?” asked Charlie mocking Lisa,

 

“You’re probably right… what do you suggest then?” asked Lisa,

 

 _‘I suggest that you leave Dean alone so he and Cas can get their shit together and get married or something,’_ thought Charlie,

 

“Okay, first of all, why are you doing this?” asked Charlie,

 

“I’ve already told you, you’re my friend now and I want to help you,” said Lisa. Charlie just kept staring at her with a bitch face.

 

“Okay, look… we’re girls and we girls have to stick together and all that, right?” said Lisa,

 

“I’m listening,” answered Charlie with a curious look,

 

“It’s just… well, I think that Dean spends a lot of time with Cas and sometimes he puts him before me, and I mean, I understand that they’re best friends, but… I don’t like it… I don’t know if you know this but Dean also likes men, and the other day I heard Gabriel saying that they like to cuddle all the time… and that’s just not normal Charlie, they’re a pair of grown up men!” Lisa was actually being honest with Charlie,

 

“Okay, so you’re worried that there’s something going on between them?” asked Charlie,

 

“No, it’s just… I wouldn’t mind if their relationship took a few steps back, like if it became a nice manly friendship… not that whole cuddling and caring for each other shit, I mean… that’s kinda…” said Lisa,

 

“Gay?” asked Charlie,

 

“Yes! Oh God! You understand me, don’t you? … That’s why I’m telling you this, I know that you like Cas and maybe if we work together we both can get what we want,” said Lisa with excitement,

 

“And what is it that I want?” asked Charlie, by this point she was pretty sure that Lisa was kinda crazy,

 

“To be with Cas,” declared Lisa. Charlie just stared at her with wide eyes. “Look Charlie, I know you’ve noticed the way they act with each other sometimes… and it's mortifying to be honest… I mean, I’m not homophobic but…” Charlie raised her right hand and took a deep breath,

 

“Okay, I’m gonna stop you right there sister because honestly, any phrase that starts with ‘I’m not homophobic or I’m not racist or I’m not sexist’ shouldn’t be followed by the word ‘but’, so please just don’t,” Charlie was getting upset,

 

“Yeah, I mean, I get it… I’m dating Dean, I’m clearly not homophobic, okay? I’m just saying … I was raised in a Christian home…”

 

“Honey, really, just… Stop talking, okay? Let me tell you something, you can actually be dating someone bi and still be homophobic, which is your case. You don’t like Dean’s friendship with Cas? Well those are your insecurities talking, you should talk to Dean instead of trying to brainwash me into liking Castiel romantically,” Charlie looked at Lisa, daring her to say anything else; Lisa just looked back at her in a very awkward silence, just in that minute they heard the front door opening,

 

“Hey Red! You awake yet?” asked Dean walking into the apartment,

 

“Kitchen,” answered Charlie while standing up from her seat. Dean closed the door behind him and walked towards the kitchen,

 

“Oh, Lisa, hi… what are you doing here? I mean it’s awesome to see you but, isn’t it kinda early?” asked Dean, he really was surprised by Lisa’s presence.

 

“I have to teach a class at 10:30, I figured I could pay you a little visit before… maybe have some breakfast,” Dean approached Lisa and kissed her quickly; Charlie placed her cup in the sink and then stole the doughnuts box from Dean’s hands,

 

“Don’t mind me lovebirds, I’ll just take my doughnut to go and leave you two alone,” said Charlie, she picked from the box and walked to the kitchen door,

 

“You sure? I was hopping we could spend the morning playing Halo and drinking coffee,” Said Dean,

 

“No can do Dean-o, sorry… maybe next week,” she grabbed her purse and jacket from the living room and raised her voice to say goodbye,

 

“See ya Guys!” she said, and then with an evil grin she added, “ Make sure you tell Dean what you were telling me Lisa, bye,” and with that she left the apartment. She really didn’t have anything better to do that day, but she didn’t want to spend her morning with Lisa; she needed to clear her head, apparently her life was turning into a freaking telenovela. 

* * *

 

When Dean heard Charlie closing the door he walked to the coffeemaker and grabbed another cup of coffee (his third that day),

 

“So, what were you girls talking about?” asked Dean,

 

“Humm, nothing, just girl stuff,” answered Lisa and after a pause she added, “it’s just… do you think there’s something going on between Charlie and Cas?” She was trying really hard to put an innocent look. Dean walked back to the table and sat on his usual place.

 

“Nope, definitely nothing going on there,” replied Dean, he grabbed the box and picked a chocolate doughnut.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Look, Cas doesn’t like people in that way… we’ve known since we were like 16, he just doesn’t,” said Dean,

 

“So, he’s asexual?” asked Lisa trying to contain a smile,

 

“To be honest, I think he’s asexual and aromantic… he’s never had a relationship in his whole life and he has never liked someone either, not even when we were at school, and I mean, I’ve known the guy since we were 8, and he’s always been like that, I thought that he was dating Charlie at first but then when I asked he just reaffirmed his orientation,”

 

“Wow,” said Lisa,

 

“ ‘Sides, even if he liked girls, Charlie is a lesbian so that relationship just would never happen.”

 

Lisa tried to hide her shock; that explained why Charlie had gotten upset when Lisa shared her thoughts about gays.

 

“You okay?” asked Dean,

 

“Yeah, I just… I had no idea that Charlie liked girls,” said Lisa,

 

“Well, she does,” answered Dean. Lisa stayed pretty quiet during the rest of her visit, they had breakfast together but her mind was somewhere else. She had obviously screwed things up with Charlie _, ‘there goes my plan to befriend Dean’s friends,’_ she thought.

 

* * *

 

Since there was no one else home, Cas and Gabe opted for cooking a small tower of pancakes and eat it while watching TV; it was a Saturday, which of course meant Doctor Who. They watched a couple of episodes and miraculously managed to eat without leaving a mess on the couch. After the second episode Gabriel pressed pause and turned his attention to his brother,

 

“So, how was the week Cassie?” He asked. Gabe was the only one allowed to call him like that,

 

“It was weird, Dean’s girlfriend suddenly decided that she wants to be friends with me and Charlie,” said Cas,

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes, she spent the whole week asking us out, we even had brunch on Sunday,”

 

“Wow, you were awake on a Sunday on time to have brunch?” asked Gabe with a smile,

 

“She called pretty early and invited us, I had to set an alarm,”

 

“Look at you, you’re turning into an adult, waking up early, with your brunches and stuff,” Cas smiled and grabbed a spoonful of Nutella from the jar,

 

“What about your week?” Asked Castiel before placing the spoon in his mouth,

 

“Sold a shitload of bread, got a haircut, bought a new oven for the store, talked to mom… oh, I found this really amazing froyo place a few blocks from the bakery, you should try it.” Said Gabriel.

 

“You talked to her? Wow,” said Cas,

 

“Well it was an accident, the phone rang and there was nobody else home so I answered and unfortunately it was her,” answered Cas.

 

“Hmm… what did she say?” asked Cas while grabbing another spoonful of Nutella, he wasn’t really curious, he knew his mother would never ask about him,

 

“She wanted to talk to dad or to Michael as usual, I told her that they weren’t here and that I had no interest in talking to her and then I hanged up,” said Gabe, he was drinking honey directly from the bottle,

 

“Well, she probably wont call again until Christmas,” said Cas,

 

“That’s the worst Christmas present ever, she should send us money or toys… anything’s better than talking to her,” said Gabriel; Castiel just smiled, he picked up the remote and pressed play again, they spent another couple of hours watching Netflix.

 

* * *

 

Now, if a person who didn’t know the Novaks had heard that conversation they would probably think that Cas and Gabriel were bad sons for talking that way about their mother. The truth was, though, that Naomi Novak was a terrible mother. It had been more than ten years since the Day Naomi abandoned her Family, and Castiel could still remember that day perfectly:

 

_They were having breakfast when her mother walked downstairs carrying two suitcases and announced that she was leaving them,_

_“I’m sorry… but I just can’t keep going like this, I need answers, I need to understand things… I need to find God,” she said. Chuck kept reading his newspaper pretending that everything was fine. Michael looked at his father waiting for him to say something,_

_“Dad, aren’t you going to say anything? Mom is leaving!” Asked Michael with tears in his eyes. Castiel and Gabriel kept looking at the scene in complete silence._

_“Michael, your mother and I have already talked about this, I support her decision of leaving, now if any of you want to say goodbye to your mother this is your chance, I don’t believe we’ll be seeing her for a while,” said Chuck. Michael stood up and hugged his mother,_

_“Please mom, take me with you,” he said with a pleading voice, it was the first and last time that Castiel saw his brother crying._

_“I’m sorry Mike but this is for the best, you have to stay here with your father, you’re about to go to college son, think about your future,” she said with a sweet voice, Michael was her favorite son and she obviously didn’t want to leave him. Gabriel stood up and hugged her too, though not as tight as his older brother,_

_“Good bye Ma, I hope you find what you’re looking for,” said Gabriel almost in a whisper. The whole family turned his attention to Cas, he didn’t want to stand up or hug his mother, he was afraid of her but he knew that everyone was expecting him to do something. He finally stood up and when he turned around everyone at the table saw that his left cheek was bruised, he was spotting a blend of purple and red._

_“Cas, what happen to your face?” asked Chuck; Castiel looked at his mother and took a deep breath,_

_“It’s nothing father, I had a meltdown yesterday and hurt myself,” he answered; it was a common thing to happen to him, so his father dropped the subject. Cas walked towards his mother and looked at her, she stretched her hand and patted his shoulder,_

_“Good bye Castiel, be good and remember what we talked about, ” Said Naomi with a firm voice,_

_“Yes mother,” said Cas; he gave a few steps back and saw that Michael was still crying,_

_“Charles,” said Naomi looking at Chuck,_

_“Naomi,” answered Chuck with a small nod. She turned around and walked out the door. As soon as the door was closed Michael turned around and looked furiously at his father,_

_“Do something!” he ordered, “She’s leaving! She’s your wife and you’re letting her go!”_

_“Michael, I’m terribly sorry but this is for the best,” answered Chuck with an apologetic face,_

_“I hate you! I want my mom!” Yelled Michael, he ran upstairs and a few seconds later they heard the sound of a door being slammed. Gabriel and Cas walked back to the table,_

_“I’m sorry that things ended up like this guys, one day you’ll understand, now please finish your breakfast,” said Chuck with a sad smile._

 

* * *

 

 

_It took a while but finally after one year, seven months and six days, Naomi Novak found what she was looking for. She showed up at their door wearing a yellow dress and a white cardigan, she had her hair in a bun and wasn’t wearing makeup. Gabriel opened the door and was the first one to see her,_

_“Ma?” he asked, she smiled and ruffled his hair,_

_“Hi Gabe, you look so big, and your hair is longer,” she said with a smile,_

_“You look different too, did you find what you were looking for?” asked Gabriel,_

_“Yes honey, but I need to talk to your father now, is he home?” she asked; Gabriel took her hand and walked her to the kitchen,_

_“Dad, look who’s here,” said Gabriel with a smile; Chuck was sitting at the table helping Cas with math._

_“Naomi,” said Chuck with a serious face, “guys, why don’t you go upstairs? I’ll call you when dinner is ready,” said Chuck calmly,_

_“Hello mother,” said Cas,_

_“Good afternoon Castiel,” answered Naomi,_

_“Will mom stay for dinner?” asked Gabriel,_

_“We’ll see,” answered Chuck. Cas and Gabriel went upstairs and finished studying. After an hour Gabriel left the room to go to the bathroom, when he returned to the room he was very pale and lookin pretty upset,_

_“Are you okay?” asked Castiel,_

_“Yeah, I just… have a tummy ache,” answered Gabe,_

_“Okay,” answered Cas._

_“Cas?” asked Gabriel,_

_“Yes Gabe?” answered Cas,_

_“I love you,” said Gabe,_

_“Okay, I love you too,” answered Cas._

_When they went downstairs for dinner mom was already gone. It was the last time that Castiel spoke to his mom. She kept in contact with them, calling once a month but she would only talk to Chuck or Michael. He saw her again twice, in Michael’s graduation first and then a few years later in Gabe’s graduation. She didn’t attend to Castiel’s._

 

* * *

 

 

That evening, when Dean picked up Cas from Chuck’s, Cas asked Dean for a favor,

 

“Dean, can we stop for some froyo and then pay a visit to Bobby?” he asked,

 

“Sure man, any reason in particular?” asked Dean,

 

“I spent a big part of my day thinking about my mother and that made me sad, I think I want to have a nice and happy evening with my family to forget about mom,” admitted Cas. Dean placed his hand on Cas’s knee,

 

“Family night it is, then,” said Dean with a smile. They spent the rest of the night eating froyo and listening to Bobby complaining about his week. It was perfect.


	14. Hello Nikola Tesla

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas (not in real life, just in my story), Sam's finally here with Jess. We meet Michael's girlfriend too and she isn't what Cas was expecting. Also we find out that Cas is the best at giving presents and he makes a few people cry with his presents for Dean and Charlie.
> 
> Dean gets an awesome gift for Cas too. This is just basically a lot of family time, love and fluff (and a little bit of Lisa because she's Dean girlfriend and she has to come for Christmas too).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I've received a lot of great comments on my story, so i decided to work extra hard and write another chapter.  
> It's kinda long and fluffy (the fluffiest shit i've ever written) because next chapter we're going to start with the angst and although i don't want the angst to last for long, we're all going to suffer a little with the path the story is taking ( I promise that no one is dying).
> 
> Anyway, i hope you like it, thanks for your wonderful comments.

* * *

 

After Lisa’s encounter with Charlie, Dean’s girlfriend stopped trying to hang out with Cas and Charlie and both were very happy about that. Christmas was almost there, it was the 22nd of December, a Tuesday, it was snowing so Cas and Charlie opted to spend their afternoon together in Charlie’s apartment watching movies.

 

“So, we have all the presents ready, Gabe bought the turkey and your Dad will be back tomorrow, everything’s ready,” said Charlie with a smile. She handed Cas a big cup of hot chocolate.

 

“Yes, I believe so. Thanks again for accepting our invitation to join us for Christmas,” answered Cas after taking a sip from his drink,

 

“Dude, thank you for inviting me, I would have ended spending it eating sushi and getting drunk by myself,” answered Charlie. A few Days ago Gabe and Cas had invited her to their Christmas dinner and she was pretty happy.

 

“What did you got for Bobby?” asked Cas, he grabbed a plate with cookies and walked to the living room, Charlie following behind him.

 

“Oh, I think he’s gonna love it, I bought him a gift certificate for a weekend at a spa, he needs it,” answered Charlie. They sat on the couch and placed their drinks and cookies on the table in front of them.

 

“He’s gonna love you even more, maybe he’ll actually adopt you after that,” said Cas with a smile.

 

“He’s pretty sweet… it must have been awesome being raised by him,” said Charlie.

 

“Yes, he was the one who taught me how to ride a bike and how to cook,” answered Cas with a smile.

 

“Awesome,” said Charlie, “what did you got for your brothers?” asked her,

 

“I bought eleven pounds of Jelly Belly beans and a sweater for Gabriel and I got a sword for Michael, he’s got a collection,” answered Cas, “I also bought two sweaters for his girlfriend, I don’t know her in person but he’s bringing her over for Christmas and I figured it would be a nice detail to make her feel welcome in our family,”

 

“Fuck, I didn’t get anything for her,” said Charlie,

 

“Don’t worry, I can share one of the sweaters with you and that way you have a present for her as well,” replied Cas,

 

“Thanks Cas,” said Charlie with a smile, “I asked Gabriel for advice to buy something for Michael, I don’t know him personally but from what I heard I’m pretty sure that he’s charming… anyway, I bought him a set of pens that look kinda fancy but weren’t expensive,”

 

“He’ll love it, don’t worry… did you buy anything for Lisa?” asked Cas scrunching his nose, “I bought her a hat and a scarf,”

 

“I bought her a box of chocolate,” answered Charlie,

 

“Wow, you seriously don’t like her,” said Cas,

 

“Nope, not one bit,” said Charlie with a serious face, she didn’t tell Cas about her little chat with Lisa, “so, you’ve got presents for your dad, your brothers, Sam, Bobby, Missouri, for me of course, the guys at Kraken, Michael’s girlfriend and even the snow witch, what did you get for Dean?” asked Charlie with a smile,

 

“It’s a surprise,” said Cas,

 

“Oh, c’mon Cas, it’s a surprise for him not for me,” said Charlie trying to make puppy eyes,

 

“Humm... Okay, but don’t tell anyone, I bought him a star,” answered Castiel,

 

“What?” asked Charlie,

 

“A star, you know from space, you can buy those, they have different prices and they even send you a certificate an a letter and I paid a little extra so they sent a picture of the star and a little figurine of a star with the information carved on the base, is it too silly?” asked Cas, he was having second thoughts now,

 

“Cas, that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard, I swear, if you were a girl I would’ve already married you,” said Charlie. She was sure that no one would ever beat Cas with a better present, not even Lisa. Dean’s heart was gonna melt.

 

“Are you sure? Because I still have time to buy him something else,” said Cas a little concerned, “nah man, that gift is perfect, almost as cool as what he got you, oh fuck!” said Charlie covering her mouth,

 

“What! Charlie, what did he buy me? Please tell me!” said Cas with excitement,

 

“I can’t Cas, but I can tell you this, you’re gonna love it and it’s something that was practically made for you, I swear,”

 

“Okay, I guess I can wait a few days to find out,” said Cas. Right in that moment his phone began to vibrate in his pocket, he grabbed it and saw Dean’s name on the screen,

 

“Hello Dean,” answered Cas,

 

“Hey Cas, I’m downstairs, the gate is locked and I can’t remember the code, could you ask Charlie?” said Dean,

 

“I’s 231163,” answered Cas,

 

“Thanks Cas, see you in a few,” said Dean before finishing the Call.

 

“Dean’s here,” said Cas to Charlie,

 

“Good, I’m starving, I don’t think that I can keep fooling my stomach with cookies any longer,” she said with a smile. Cas stood up to open the door and Charlie walked to the kitchen to grab sodas and napkins.

 

“Hey guys!” Said Dean when he entered the apartment, he was wearing a black jacket; his beanie, globes and scarf were green.

 

“Hi Dean, got everything you needed?” asked Charlie. Dean had gone to pick up Cas’ present, so he had asked Charlie to distract Cas, it was a Tuesday anyway so Castiel didn’t even notice their plan,

 

“Yeah, everything’s cool, I bought lasagna at that nice Italian place near Bobby’s… oh and there’s a new Mexican restaurant next to it, the owners are real Mexicans and the place smelled awesome, I bought some sweet tamales for dessert,” answered Dean raising a bag with something that looked steamy.

 

“Oh my god!” Said Cas with a wide smile, “I love Mexican food,” he helped Dean with the bags and soon the three were sitting on the couch eating like it was their last night on earth.

 

* * *

 

 

A few hours later the credits of ‘Raiders of the lost ark’ were rolling on the TV and the three friends were about to go into a food coma,

 

“Those were the best tamales I’ve ever had,” said Dean rubbing his stomach, “also, Indiana Jones is hot as fuck,”

 

“I knew you would say that,” answered Cas with a smile,

 

“ ‘Bout the food or Indiana?” asked Dean,

 

“ Both,” answered Charlie and Cas at the same time. The three erupted into laughter.

 

Charlie went to the bathroom and when she returned she found Cas curled against Dean on the Couch, Cas had his eyes closed and Dean was looking at him in a pretty sweet way, she almost felt like she was interrupting something private.

 

Dean didn’t react when she sat back next to them; that earned another point on Charlie’s list. After Last week, she had started a mental list called ‘Reasons why I’m pretty sure that Dean’s in love with Cas.’ She had spent the whole week observing her friends, by this point she felt like she was watching a documentary on National Geographic. She also was kinda confused, sometimes she felt like Cas was actually in love with Dean too, but he said he wasn’t interested in people in that way, so maybe she was just seeing things.

 

* * *

 

 

The drive back to their apartment was nice. Dean drove pretty slowly because it was still snowing.

 

“Have all your presents for Christmas?” asked Dean,

 

“Yes, I even got one for Jill, Michael’s girlfriend,” answered Cas,

 

“What did you got her?” asked Dean,

 

“A sweater,”

 

“ Cool… what did you got me?” asked Dean casually,

 

“A book… it’s titled ‘wait until Christmas like everyone Else’, I think you’ll like it,” said Cas with a smile,

 

“Okay, I deserved that… anyway, I’ve been thinking, this year you should go to Bobby’s to open presents instead of the usual, what do you say?” Asked Dean. Normally each of them would spend Christmas Eve and have dinner with their families, and on Christmas Dean would go to Chuck’s to open presents with the Novaks, it was a tradition; This year though, they needed a change in logistics due to Dean’s gift for Cas.

 

“Is there a reason in particular?” asked Cas,

 

“I just want Charlie to have a Singer/Winchester Christmas as well,” answered Dean,

 

“Oh, you’re right, we’ll go to Bobby’s this year then,” said Cas with a smile.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the week passed on a blur and next thing they knew, it was Christmas Eve already.

 

Cas was sitting on the couch tying his shoelaces. He was wearing the same outfit he used for the event at the garage, though now he added his brown trench coat and he was wearing brown boots instead of black.

 

Dean walked out of his room buttoning his gray cardigan,

 

“Looking good Cas,” said Dean; he really liked how that suit looked on Cas,

 

“Thanks Dean, you look fine as well,” he answered. Someone knocked at the door in that moment.

 

“It’s open,” said Dean, he was pretty sure that it would be Charlie. The door opened and Charlie entered the room looking stunning,

 

“Hi guys,” said Charlie,

 

“Damn, Red, you look hot,” said Dean. She was wearing a beautiful purple dress, black stockings and high heels; She was carrying her purse and coat on one hand and a small suitcase on the other, she would be spending the night at the their apartment.

 

“Thank you,” answered Charlie with a smile,

 

“Are those little daleks on your stockings?” asked Cas,

 

“Yeah, these were the only ones I had and I didn’t have time to go buy a new pair, I hope it’s okay,” answered Charlie blushing. The little daleks looked pretty subtle actually, if you didn’t pay attention to detail you wouldn’t notice.

 

“They are great Charlie, don’t worry, I know this thing is supposed to be formal but wait until you see what Gabe is wearing, the only one that wants it to be a formal event is Michael,” answered Cas with a smile,

 

“Okay,” she said, “ready to go?”

 

“Yes,” said Cas,

 

“Right, I’ll just go to the bathroom pretty quick and then we can leave,” said Charlie, she placed her stuff on the couch and walked to the bathroom.

 

“Please send pictures of Gabriel’s outfit,” said Dean with grin,

 

“Of course,” said Cas, “Did you put all the presents in the car?” he asked,

 

“Yes Cas, all your presents are in the car, don’t worry about it,”

 

“Great, I can’t wait for tomorrow, I love seeing people’s faces when they open presents,” said Cas, Dean smiled and sat next to Cas. Charlie walked out of the bathroom and grabbed her phone from her purse,

 

“Ready, lets just take a selfie and then we’re ready to go, c’mon Cas, I know that you don’t like pictures but the three of us look hot as fuck tonight and this calls for a picture,” she said. The three friends stood together and Charlie took a couple of pictures, “I’m totally instagramming this one,” said Charlie while looking at a picture where the three were smiling. They finally said goodbye to Dean and left to Chuck’s.

 

* * *

 

 

It was the first time that Charlie visited the Novak’s home, it was huge and the whole front yard was decorated with lights and Christmas stuff,

 

“Wow Cas, this place is beautiful,” she said looking everywhere with wide eyes,

 

“My dad bought it a few months before I went to college, I only lived here for a short period, but I like the place,” They opened the front door and walked inside the house, something smelled delicious and the house was warm and welcoming.

 

“Hello there, it’s nice to finally meet you in person Charlie,” said Chuck when Charlie and Cas walked into the living room.

 

“It’s nice to meet you too Chuck, your house is awesome,” she said.

 

“Thank you, you can visit whenever you want,” he answered.  She sat on a couch next to a huge Christmas three while Cas placed all the present under it. They talked for a while, Chuck poured them a few drinks and told them about his tour.

 

“I have a lot of ideas for a new graphic novel Castiel, I would really love to work in collaboration with you,” said Chuck,

 

“It sounds interesting, we should talk about it later,” said Cas, he had always wanted to make a graphic novel.

 

In that moment Michael appeared holding hands with a pretty brunette with hazel eyes. The woman was wearing a green dress, a black cardigan and flat black shoes; She smiled at Cas and Charlie,

 

“Hello, you must be Castiel, it’s nice to meet you,” she said, “I’m Jill,” Cas stood up and shook her hand,

 

“It’s pretty nice to meet you too Jill,” said Cas with an honest smile, she seemed nice and had a sweet expression. Charlie stood up and shook her hand as well,

 

“Hi, I’m Charlie, I’m Castiel’s friend,” she said, “I love your dress,”

 

“Oh, thank you, I love yours too, are those daleks?” she asked with a smile,

 

“Yeah, I hope it isn’t too informal,” apologized Charlie,

 

“No way, it’s awesome,” answered Jill with a smile, “I mean, I’m wearing flats…” she added in a whisper; both girls laughed after that.

 

Michael introduced himself as well; it was pretty obvious that he was trying to be nice with Cas to impress Jill,

 

“So, are you dating my brother?” asked Michael to Charlie,

 

“No, we’re just friends, I’m new in town, Cas and Dean are my only friends in here,” she answered. Cas was expecting Michael to make fun of him, but to his surprise his brother didn’t say anything. They talked for a few more minutes, Jill told them a little about herself: she was an only child; her dad had passed away a few years ago so now it was only Jill and her mom.

 

A few minutes into conversation, Gabe showed up, he was wearing a huge red sweater with the face of the Grinch on it.

 

“Hey, Gabe, loving the sweater,” said Charlie,

 

“Please, don’t encourage him,” said Michael pinching the bridge of his nose,

 

“Oh, I thing it’s pretty festive,” said Jill with a smile,

 

“Thanks ladies, it’s good to see that some people in this house have good taste,” answered Gabriel with a smile, “dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes dear family,” he added.

 

“ Great, I’m starving,” said their father, he finished what was left in his glass and then added, “oh, guys by the way, your mother called this morning, she said hi and wished you all a merry Christmas.”

 

“ No, she didn’t, but that’s fine,” said Cas with a low voice, he hated when his dad lied about his mother, he was pretty sure that her message wasn’t for all of her sons, he stood up and walked towards Gabriel, “I’ll help you in the kitchen brother,” he said,

 

“Okay Cassie,” answered Gabe and then they both walked out of the living room.

 

* * *

 

Dean handed another beer to Jess, he really liked Sammy’s girlfriend.

 

“Thanks Dean,” she said with a smile,

 

“Anyway, as I was saying… I hope you didn’t have trouble taking care of Cas’s present,” said Dean,

 

“No way, Sam was super happy, I think he wants to keep it now,” answered Jess,

 

“Sorry little bro, it’s for Cas,” said Dean making fun of his brother,

 

“Oh, it’s so not fair, you know how much I like them,” asked Sam,

 

“Well I’m sorry… you can play with it for the rest of the night if you want, just remember, as soon as Cas shows up, it’s his,”

 

“This sucks,” said Sam. He picked up Dean’s present for Cas from the couch and stared at it with hearts on his eyes,

 

“I want it,” said the youngest Winchester with a pout.

 

“Oh c’mon you idjits, stop arguing and come help me with the food,” interrupted Bobby, “Jess, sweetheart, you can take care of Castiel’s present while this two help me in the kitchen.”

 

Sam handed the present to Jess and followed Dean and Bobby out of the room.

 

* * *

 

Gabriel cooked an amazing dinner. They all had a great time, the whole family loved Jill and Charlie.

 

“It’s such a shame that we don’t live in the same city, Charlie,” said Jill, “I would love to hang out with you more”.

 

“Oh man, I know, but whenever you visit Sioux Falls you have to give me a call,” said Charlie. It turned out that the girls had a lot in common, which was weird because Cas would have never pictured Michael with a girl like Charlie.

 

The rest of the night went great; Cas sent a picture of Gabriel’s sweater to Dean as he had promised. Dean answered a few minutes later with a video of Sam drinking spiked eggnog. “Oh my God Dean, what did you put in this? Diesel?” yelled Sam right before the video ended.

 

Gabriel suggested that they opened their presents since Cas and Charlie wouldn’t be there the next day.

 

Chuck was the first to open his presents, he got an old typewriter from Cas, a suit from Michael, a camera from Gabriel, a couple of books from Jill and a beautiful blue case for his laptop from Charlie.

 

Then came Michael’s turn, he got the sword from Cas (and he loved it), golf clubs from Chuck, a pair of nice sunglasses from Gabe, tickets to a concert from Jill and the pens from Charlie.

 

Gabe was the next to open his presents; he spent five minutes kissing the huge box of Jelly Belly beans and thanking Cas, he also put on his new sweater. Chuck gave him an iPad, Michael a gift card for his favorite candy store in town; Jill gave him a special edition of the movie ‘Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory’ and Charlie gave him season 5 and 6 of ‘Doctor Who’ in blu-ray. 

 

Jill was surprised to find out that she also had presents from everyone. Michael got her a nice purse, Chuck gave her a couple of poetry books (Michael told him that she loved poetry), Cas gave her the sweater, Gabe a box of cupcakes cooked by himself and Charlie gave her  another sweater.

 

Charlie was also happy to find out that she had presents, she felt a little like Harry Potter, it had been a while since the last time she spent a Christmas with a family. Chuck gave her the entire collection of his books and of course all of them signed, Michael gave her a gift card for the candy store too, Jill gave her a beautiful blue cardigan, Gabe gave her an awesome vintage poster of princess Leia.

 

Charlie couldn’t be happier with her presents, or that’s what she thought, she left Castiel’s gift for the end; it was a small box wrapped in blue paper, she removed carefully the wrapping and then opened the box, inside there was a necklace with a small silver Enterprise as a pendant, she picked it up and looked at it with a smile,

 

“Oh my God, this is beautiful, Cas,” she said,

 

“There’s more in the box,” answered Cas. Charlie put the necklace back in the box and grabbed a bunch of paper that were inside,

 

“OH MY GOD!” she yelled “I hate you so much, you freaking beautiful man and your stupid ability to buy the perfect gifts,” she said with tears falling from her eyes,

 

“What is it?” asked Gabriel,

 

“Freaking plane tickets to LA and passes to Disneyland… I’ve never been to Disneyland, my parents were going to take me the year they had the accident and my nana didn’t have the money and I just… I…” she started to cry and Cas hugged her,

 

“I’m sorry that my present upset you Charlie,” he said,

 

“Shut up, you idiot, I’m happy… we’re going to Disneyland! ” Said Charlie. Jill was sobbing now too. It took them almost ten minutes but eventually Charlie and Jill calmed down.

 

Cas was the last one to open his presents. Chuck got him a beautiful wooden box of professional pencil colors, Michael bought him a TARDIS tea pot (which surprised Cas); Gabe got him a box set of books of the art of every MARVEL movie. Jill got him a TARDIS mug that matched Michael’s present and Charlie didn’t give him anything.

 

“Cas, I got you a present,” said Charlie, “But it’s at Bobby’s, you’ll have to wait until tomorrow to open it, because it kinda matches Dean’s gift… if I gave you my present tonight it would ruin Dean’s surprise,” she explained,

 

“It’s fine Charlie, I’m sure I’ll love it,” he said with a smile.

 

They spent another hour thanking each other for the presents and talking about their plans for the next day. Jill and Charlie kept remembering Cas that he was the sweetest guy ever and he blushed every time they said it. By 1:30 Cas and Charlie were ready to go home, they said their goodbyes and thanked everyone again before leaving with all of their presents.

 

* * *

 

 

“Thanks again for my present,” said Charlie. They were waiting for the elevator to the apartment.

 

“You’re welcome Charlie, I’m glad that you liked it,” he said with a smile, “You are my only true friend apart from Dean, Gabe and Sam, I wanted to give you something nice,”

 

“This is the nicer thing that someone has ever done for me Cas, you’re an incredible friend, I can't believe that you remembered,” she said. The elevator's doors opened and they got in.

 

“I like to pay attention to what my friends tell me,” admitted Cas, “Now, it is up to you to pick a date for our vacation in LA, unless you want to go with someone else, that’s fine too,” They walked out of the elevator,

 

“Are you crazy? Cas you gave me this present, you get to see my stupid face on my first visit to Disneyland,” she said, Cas opened the door of the apartment and they walked in.

 

“Okay, I would like that,” said Cas, “Now, do you want to share a bed or do you want to sleep at Dean’s room?” he asked closing the door behind him.

 

“Cas, I’m emotionally compromised because of your present, I’m so sharing a bed with you,” said Charlie with a smile,

 

“Okay, lets get ready to bed, I can’t wait to go to Bobby’s,” declared Cas. They got ready and went to bed. They kept talking with the lights off until they fell asleep.

 

* * *

  

The sound of the TARDIS landing woke Charlie up, she stretched her hand and grabbed Cas’ phone; Dean’s name was showing on the screen,

 

“Hi Dean,” she said,

 

“Charlie?” asked Dean,

 

“Yeah, wait a minute, I’ll try to wake up sleeping beauty here,” said Charlie;

 

“Cas, wake up… Dean’s on the phone,” she said, “Cas, c’mon sleepyhead,”

 

Cas opened one eye and stretched his hand; Charlie passed him the phone,

 

“ Hello Dean,” he said with his deep voice,

 

“Good morning sunshine, wake up! Bobby’s making breakfast, we have a lot of presents to open and it’s snowing,” said Dean happily,

 

“Really?” asked Cas,

 

“Yes, c’mon get out of bed, breakfast will be served in half an hour, don’t say I didn’t warn you, the samsquatch is here and if you don’t come early he’ll eat all the food,” Cas could hear Sam complaining on the other side of the line,

 

“Okay, we’ll try to hurry,” he said, “see you later Dean.” Cas ended the call and turned his attention to Charlie.

 

“We have to hurry up, Bobby’s cooking breakfast, ”

 

“Awesome, I’ll shower really fast,” she said getting out of bed,

 

“Okay, wake me up when you’re out of the shower,” said Cas, he covered his face with a pillow and fell asleep again.

 

* * *

 

Incredibly, 45 minutes later Cas and Charlie were parking outside Bobby’s.

 

They opened the front door and walked straight to the kitchen,

 

“Wow Bobby, what are you cooking? It smells amazing,” asked Charlie,

 

“Good morning kids, there’s a little bit of everything from dinner and I’m also making waffles,” said Bobby, he had a huge grin on his face, he was obviously happy to have the whole family home.

 

“Great,” said Charlie, “do you have coffee?” she asked,

 

“Sure, coffeemaker is next to the fridge,” Bobby pointed at the other side if the kitchen with his spatula. Charlie walked directly to where Bobby showed her.

 

Right in that moment a huge guy with long brown hair walked in the kitchen,

 

“Hi Cas,” he said, “merry Christmas,”

 

“Merry Christmas, Sam,” said Cas with a smile, “it’s good to see you,”

 

“You too man, it’s been ages,”

 

“Where’s your girlfriend? I thought she’d come with you,” asked Cas curiously,

 

“Oh, she’s helping Dean with your present,” Cas looked behind Sam trying to see if Dean was in the living room,

 

“They’re upstairs,” Said Sam, he walked towards the coffeemaker and he almost crashed against Charlie,

 

“Oh, hi, sorry,” said Charlie, “wow, are you Thor’s lost brother or something?” she asked,

 

“You must be Charlie,” said Sam with a smile, “I’m Sam, Dean’s brother,”

 

“Oh, hi, it’s nice to finally meet you”, she eyed him from head to toe, “Jesus, and I thought Dean and Cas were tall,” she said.

 

Sam grabbed a cup of coffee and sat at the table, Cas sat in front of him and Charlie sat next to Cas. There was a lot of food on the table, and Bobby handed each of them a plate,

 

“The turkey is great,” recommended Sam, “the spaghetti is pretty awesome too,”

 

“Thanks,” said Charlie, she grabbed a little bit of everything that was on the table. Bobby placed a plate with waffles on the table too.

 

“Wow, Bobby, don’t you think this is a lot of food?” she asked,

 

“I have Dean, Sam and Castiel eating at my house today… it’ll be a miracle if they leave anything for the rest of us,” joked Bobby,

 

“Hey, we’re growing up, we need to eat,” said Dean walking into the kitchen,

 

“Hello Dean,” said Cas with a smile. Dean sat down next to his brother,

 

“Awesome, waffles,” he said,

 

“You’re a pig,” said Sam,

 

“Look who’s talking gigantor,” said Dean,

 

“Shut up jerk,”

 

“Bitch,”

 

“Watch it you two or there wont be dessert,” said Bobby,

 

“Sorry Bobby,” the brothers apologized. Bobby handed Dean a plate and he put three waffles on it.

 

In that moment a beautiful blonde walked into the kitchen too,

 

“Okay, it took me a while but it finally… oh, hi I didn’t know we had company,” said the girl a little agitated. Cas and Charlie turned around to meet the stranger.

 

“Hi, I’m Jess, Sam’s girlfriend,” she introduced herself. She took a seat between Cas and Dean. Bobby sat between Charlie and Sam and handed a plate to Jess,

 

“It’s nice to meet you,” said Cas, “I’m Castiel, and this is my friend Charlie,”

 

“Hi, it’s great to finally meet you, Sam has told me a lot of stuff about you,” said Jess, “and you Charlie, did you know that Bobby is planning on adopting you?” she joked,

 

“Yes, I’ve been told,” said Charlie with a smile.

 

“So, how was dinner at the Novaks?” asked Bobby,

 

“It was great, Michael’s girlfriend is really sweet and she’s a whovian,” said Charlie,

 

“He behaved during the whole night,” added Cas, “it was like a Christmas miracle,”

 

“Wow,” said Dean,

 

“Yeah, and Gabe cooked an incredible dinner, they all gave me presents, I wasn’t expecting it, I felt like freaking Harry Potter, it’s been so long since I had a normal Christmas,” declared Charlie,

 

“ We’ve got presents for you too,” said Bobby,

 

“Jesus, I’m gonna cry again,” said Charlie,

 

“Did you cry yesterday?” asked Jess,

 

“It was his fault,” said Charlie pointing at Cas,

 

“He bought you an awesome present didn’t he?” asked Sam,

 

“Yep,” answered Charlie,

 

“Welcome to being friends with Cas, he will always give you amazing presents and you wont know what to do,” said the youngest Winchester,

 

“What did he give you?” asked Jess,

 

“Plane tickets to LA and passes for Disneyland… I’ve never been to Disneyland, I must add,” said Charlie,

 

“Wow,” said Bobby,

 

“Yes,” said Charlie,

 

“That’s so sweet,” said Jess,

 

“Charlie and Jill kept saying that the whole night,” replied Cas blushing.

 

“ Okay girls, quit it before Cas turns into a tomato, please,” joked Bobby.

 

They kept eating and talking about their dinners and the plans for the day.

 

* * *

 

After breakfast they all helped Bobby to clean the kitchen, then they went to the living room to open presents.

 

“Okay, who’s going first?” asked Bobby, Sam stood up and grabbed a box from under the tree,

 

“This one is from me to Dean,” said Sam. Dean stretched his hand and took the box from Sam’s hands,

 

“Open it,” said Charlie with excitement; Dean ripped of the paper wrapping the present. It was a box set of Vonnegut’s books.

 

“Wow, thanks Sammy, I love it,” said Dean with a smile. Sam smiled back and picked another box from under the tree,

 

“This one is from me to Bobby,” he said. Bobby stood up and grabbed the box. It was a bottle of an expensive scotch,

 

“Wow, thank you son, I’ll save this for an special occasion,” said Bobby. Sam passed a small box that obviously contained jewelry to his girlfriend; she opened it to find a beautiful pair of earrings.

 

“Thank you Sam, these are beautiful,” she gave him a quick peck on the lips.

 

“This one’s for Cas,” continued Sam. Cas opened his present, it was a TARDIS blanket and he loved it.

 

“Thanks Sam, it’s great,” he said,

 

“You’re welcome Cas, I’m glad that you liked it,” said Sam, “and my last present is for Charlie, well it’s actually from me and Jess” he said, he handed the redhead a bag. Charlie opened with an expectant face; the bag contained a couple of tickets for Universal Studios,

 

“God! Are you guys trying to kill me?” asked Charlie, “this is awesome, thank you.”

 

After Sam, Bobby stood up and gave everyone their presents at the same time; they waited for him to sit down again before opening their gifts. He got a new set of tires for Dean’s Baby (the box he gave to Dean only contained a certificate for them); he gave Sam a check to pay for all his books for next semester; He bought a beautiful dress for Jess (Charlie helped him to pick it), and a nice pair of black boots for Charlie. He also gave Cas a silver watch and a sketch book.

 

“Thanks Bobby, you’re awesome,” said Dean,

 

“Yeah Bobby, thanks a lot this is a great help,” added Sam.

 

“I love it,” said Jess. Charlie stood up and gave him a big hug.

 

“Thanks Bobby, I really like it,” said Cas.

 

“You’re welcome kids, I’m glad that you liked your presents, now, who’s next?”

 

Jess stood up next, she handed boxes to Sam, Bobby and Cas, then she handed Dean a bag.

 

“Open them,” she said.

 

“Wow, Jess, I love it,” said Sam; he was holding a beautiful black leather jacket in his hands.

 

“Thank you Jess,” said Bobby, he was holding a huge book in one hand, “I’m guessing that Sam told you about my obsession with religious books,”

 

“Yes,” she said. Cas got a compilation of Lovecraft's best tales,

 

“This is great,” admitted Cas with a smile. Dean got a huge book of the history of rock,

 

“Awesome,” he said.

 

“I’m glad you liked it,” she said.

 

“Okay, now it’s my turn to give you your gifts,” said Dean, he stood up and handed boxes to everyone except from Cas,

 

“While you guys open them, I’ll go upstairs to grab Cas’ gift,” he said.

 

They all hurried to open their presents; Sam got a couple of jeans, three shirts and a gray hoodie. Bobby got three new books. Jess got a couple of sweaters and for Charlie there was a ‘Cards against humanity’. They were all admiring their presents when Dean shouted from behind the door,

 

“Cas, close your eyes… guys, make sure that Cas isn’t looking,” Cas closed his eyes and everyone waited for Dean to enter the room.

 

Cas kept his eyes closed and he could feel Dean approaching,

 

“Keep’em closed Cas,” said Dean. Cas could hear Charlie and Jess chuckling. Suddenly Cas felt something wet touching his nose, then again, and after, he heard a little cry,

 

“Okay, you can look now,” said Dean. Cas opened his eyes to find Dean carrying a puppy in his hands it was a Pug.

 

“Are you serious?” asked Cas,

 

“Yes, you like it?” Cas stretched his hands and picked up the little dog, the puppy licked his nose again.

 

“Is it a boy or a girl?” asked Cas,

 

“A boy,” answered Dean.

 

“Hello Nikola Tesla,” said Cas with a huge smile, he hugged the little dog and then gave him a kiss on the head. Everyone was melting at this point, “Thank you Dean,” said Cas raising the puppy to give him a better look, and then he noticed, the dog was missing his right back leg.

 

“The owners were going to put him to sleep because of his leg, and when I heard I thought that it wasn’t fair, you know? There’s nothing wrong with him, he’s just a little different, it’s not his fault that he was born like that,” said Dean with a smile. Charlie began to sob again; even Sam was about to cry after Dean’s speech.

 

“Thanks Dean, I love him, Charlie was right, she said that your present was something that was practically made for me, and I think this little guy was meant to be with me,” answered Cas.

 

Cas kept petting Nikola Tesla while Charlie stood up and handed her presents to everyone. Sam got a new case for his laptop, Jess a nice skirt and a sweater and Bobby loved his gift card for the spa. Dean felt like a 5 year old when he opened a little replica of his beloved baby and Cas laughed when he finally opened Charlie’s present, it was a box with plates, food and a collar for his dog.

 

“Thanks Charlie,” said Cas with a smile.

 

“Jesus, kid you really know how to make me happy,” said Bobby.

 

Cas put the collar on his puppy’s neck and then handed him to Dean,

 

“Okay, it is my turn now,” He handed a box to Sam, it contained a first edition of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone, the British version. Sam kept staring at his book as if it was the most precious thing he had ever seen. For Bobby there was a collection of old books in Enochian, and he loved them too, he handled them very cautiously. For Jess there was a silver locket with pictures of baby Sam inside, the locket came with a certificate of an antiques store. Charlie had already received her present so the only one left was Dean, Cas handed him a box wrapped in golden paper. Everyone stopped what they were doing, Cas had given them amazing gifts and they weren’t Dean, they couldn’t even imagine what was in that box, only Charlie and Cas knew.

 

Dean returned Nikola Tesla to Cas and then sat down to open his present. He found a few papers and a smaller box inside. He grabbed the first paper and read it:

_Dean,_

_When we were kids I asked you where would you go if the Doctor showed up and told you to pick a place, ‘all of the time and space, where do you want to go?’ he would say. You said that you would ask him to take you to an empty planet and then you would buy it and become the first boy on Earth to be the owner of a planet. They don’t sell planets online so the closest thing that I could get you was a star (I hope that you don’t mind). So now, when the Doctor shows up one day and he asks you ‘where do you want to go?’ You can ask him to take you to your star; you wont be the first boy on Earth to own a planet, but you will be the first man on Earth to visit his star,_

 

Dean lifted his head trying to contain his tears, he grabbed the next paper and it was a certificate that recognized him as the owner of a star now called “DeanW67”. The next paper showed a picture of the star in high resolution; it was amazing. Finally Dean opened the smaller box and found a figurine of a star (A real one not the lame geometric figure), with the information carved on the base.

 

“What is it?” asked Jess. Dean put everything back in the box and placed it on the couch then he walked towards his friend,

 

“Can I hug you?” asked Dean,

 

“Yes,” said Cas. Dean hugged him in an awkward position since Cas was still holding his dog. Jess picked up the letter from the box and started to cry when she read it,

 

“Oh my God, you bought him a star,” she said,

 

“Did you like it Dean?” asked Cas,

 

“Of course I liked it man,” answered Dean letting go of Cas, his cheeks were red and wet.

 

“Why does everyone cry with my gifts?” asked Cas in confusion,

 

“Dude, because you give the best freaking presents in the world,” answered Dean, he was standing so close to Cas now, it looked pretty romantic actually. Charlie stood up and sat next to Sam,

 

“Okay, you and I need to talk,” she said. Bobby cleared his throat and broke the cute moment between Dean and Cas,

 

“Before we drown in tears kids, what do you say we go outside and make a few snowmen?” Asked Bobby. Everyone agreed and got ready to go outside.

 

* * *

 

Cas was sitting on the stairs waiting for the others to come downstairs to go outside, he was rubbing his puppy’s ear.

 

“I’m so glad I have you Nikola Tesla,” said Cas, “I don’t care that you’re different, I love you, I’m going to take care of you and teach you a lot of tricks,” the little dog licked his owner’s hand.

 

Dean walked downstairs and sat next to Cas,

 

“Hey Cas, is he behaving?” asked the blond,

 

“Yes, he is,” answered Cas. The little dog wiggled in Cas’ arms trying to reach Dean, “he likes you,” said Cas passing the dog to Dean.

 

“Well, I’ve been taking care of him for the last few days, we’ve become friends,” answered Dean, “is that a sock?” he asked. The puppy was wearing an old sock with holes on the sides and it looked like a sweater.

 

“Yes, bobby gave me and old pair of socks to improvise a sweater, I don’t want him to be cold,” answered Cas,

 

“Looking good Nik,” said Dean, he got a little closer to Cas and both started to pet the puppy.

 

“How old is he?” asked Cas,

 

“Month and a half,” answered Dean,

 

“He’s just a baby, Dean,” said Cas with wide eyes,

 

“Yeah,” said Dean with a smile. They sat in silence for a few seconds.

 

“Thanks a lot again Dean, I know that you don’t like dogs, or pets… I promise that he’ll behave; I can keep him in my room all the time so he won’t bother you,”

 

“Cas, c’mon man, he’s just a little dog, I’m cool with him, I promise, you don’t have to keep him locked up in your room, he has the right to go out and see the world, I get it, okay?”

 

“Thanks Dean,” said Cas. They remained in silence petting Nik and waiting for the others to be ready.

 

* * *

 

 

Sam was buttoning his jacket when Charlie and Jess entered his room,

 

“You girls ready?” asked Sam,

 

“Yeah,” said Charlie, “hey, listen Sam, I know that we just met but, well, you’re Dean’s brother and one of Castiel’s only friends, I need to talk to you,”

 

“Okay?” answered Sam sitting on his bed; Jess sat next to him and Charlie grabbed a chair and sat in front of the couple.

 

“I’ve just known them for a few weeks but, is it just me or is there something weird going on there?” asked Charlie,

 

“You mean the UST? And the cuddling and the lack of personal space… oh and the way they look at each other?” answered Sam,

 

“I knew I wasn’t crazy,” said Charlie with a smile, “What the hell is going on there?”

 

“I met them today and I was pretty sure that they were going to kiss at some point while opening their presents,” said Jess.

 

“You just learn to live with it… my guess is that Dean has a huge crush on Cas but since he’s asexual, Dean’s just settling with being friends,” said Sam,

 

“Have you ever asked him?” asked Charlie,

 

“Not really, I mean, I always tease him saying that he’s in love with Cas, but even if he was, Cas can’t reciprocate, you know? It’s like a tragic love story, besides Dean keeps dating people so he’s not that heartbroken,” replied Sam,

 

“Are you sure that Cas is Asexual?” asked Jess,

 

“And Aromantic,” answered Sam, “he has spent his whole life saying ‘I can’t feel that way towards other people’,”

 

“That sucks, they look so cute together,” said Jess,

 

“What about Dean’s girlfriend?” asked Sam,

 

“You mean the snow witch?” asked Charlie,

 

“What?”

 

“I don’t like her, she’s a bitch, she’s jealous of Cas, she wants me to date him because she’s afraid that there’s something going on between Dean and Cas, she told me last week… she doesn’t like the fact that Dean is bi, it makes her feel insecure… look, I don’t normally hate people but I don’t know, there’s something about her, you’ll have to meet her to understand,” said Charlie,  “Cas doesn’t like her either, she treats him like a child,”

 

“Crap,” said Sam, “She’s coming today,”

 

“You’ll see what I’m talking about, I haven’t said anything to Dean, but I’m pretty sure that I’m not crazy, that woman means trouble.”

 

“Well, lets go downstairs and have a little fun before she’s here,” said Jess.

 

They stood up and walked out of Sam’s room, they were about to reach the stairs when Sam stopped and signaled them to be quiet; he pointed at the end of the stairs and they saw Dean and Cas sitting very close and playing with Nikola Tesla.

 

“Oh my God! They’re so cute!” whispered Jess,

 

“That’s it, Destiel!” said Charlie with a huge smile,

 

“Shouldn’t it be Deastiel?” asked Sam,

 

“I found the ship, I name the ship… sorry,” said Charlie. They stood there for a few seconds until someone nocked on the door; Dean and Cas stood up to see who was it,

 

“Hello honey! Merry Christmas!” said a Woman,

 

“Great, is Cruella,” said Charlie. They walked downstairs and found Dean holding hands with a Lisa, she was carrying a big bag with presents.

 

“Hey guys, I want you to meet Lisa, my girlfriend,” said Dean with a smile,

 

“Hi, I’m Sam, Dean’s brother, this is Jess, my girlfriend,” said Sam.

 

“Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you,” answered Lisa, “Hi Charlie,”

 

“Hello,” said Charlie,

 

“We were about to go outside and make snowmen, wanna join us?” asked Dean,

 

“Aren’t you gonna give me my present first?” asked Lisa,

 

“Oh, right, sorry, c’mon, it’s under the three,” said Dean, he walked Lisa to the living room and everyone followed them.

 

“ Hello Lisa,” said Bobby, he was sitting on the couch reading one of his new books,

 

“Hi Bobby, merry Christmas,” everybody took a sit and Dean handed her his present. It was a big box wrapped in red paper. Lisa ripped the wrapping and opened the box. Inside there was a new Yoga mat and a box set with every season of ‘friends’ in blu-ray.

 

“Thank you honey,” said Lisa. She hugged Dean and grabbed a small box from her pocket; Dean picked the box and opened it, he found a watch and an itunes card.

 

“Thanks Lis,” said Dean; he closed the box again, “I’m gonna put this with the rest of my stuff and then we can go outside,” He kissed Lisa and ran upstairs.

 

“I got presents for you too guys,” said Lisa with a fake smile, she handed each one of them a bag of Hershey’s kisses, when she gave Cas his present she noticed the little dog, “Oh, a puppy, how cute,” she said,

 

“Thank you Lisa, his name is Nikola Tesla,” answered Cas; he raised the puppy so Lisa could have a better look, and she scrunched her nose when she noticed Nik’s condition. Charlie glared at Lisa with murderous eyes,

 

“It was Dean’s present for Cas,” said Charlie with a smile,

 

“Oh,” said Lisa in surprise, “well, it’s hmm…” Dean entered the room in that moment; he was carrying a little blanket with him.

 

“Okay, I’m ready, let’s go outside!” He gave the blanket to Cas and they used it to wrap the puppy like a burrito, Charlie snapped a picture in that moment,

 

“This one’s so gonna be my new wallpaper,” she said grinning, Lisa looked at her with hate and pulled Dean’s arm, Dean turned his attention to his girlfriend and she kissed him passionately, the kiss made everyone feel uncomfortable.

 

Bobby cleared his throat and the couple broke the kiss,

 

“Sorry,” said Dean.

 

“So, we were gonna give our presents to Lisa,” said Sam.

 

“Right,” answered Dean. They sat down again and waited for Lisa to open her presents. Sam gave her a sweater; Jess a bracelet, Bobby another sweater, Cas a hat and a scarf and Charlie a box of chocolates.

 

“Thank you all guys,” she said with a smile. Dean stood up and adjusted his beanie,

 

“Okay, can we go outside now?” he asked; everybody stood up and they finally walked outside.

 

* * *

 

 

By the end of the evening Cas had built an incredible replica of Dean’s baby with snow (to which Lisa reacted sticking her tongue into Deans mouth). Sam and Jess had built an igloo; Dean had stopped Jess from starting a snow fight because Cas didn’t like them (Lisa’s reaction was another hardcore session of passionate kissing with Dean); Charlie had reached a new level of hate for Lisa.

 

Lisa announced that she was leaving, and everyone relaxed a little after that. Dean walked her to her car and Bobby went to the kitchen to make hot chocolate for everyone.

 

“I really hate her,” said Charlie.

 

“Charlie, I know she’s not perfect, but if Dean likes her, there must be a reason,” said Cas with a sad expression.

 

They stopped talking about Lisa and got everything ready for a movie night (they would be watching ‘Love actually’). Sam placed a small mattress in front of the TV and he sat there next to Jess. Cas sat on the middle of the couch, Charlie next to him. Dean walked back in and took a seat next to Cas too. Bobby came back from the kitchen with cups of hot chocolate for everyone, once they had their drinks; Bobby turned off the light and pressed play on the remote.

 

When the movie ended, Charlie looked around to find Dean Cuddling with Cas; Castiel was also holding Nik, the three of them were sound asleep. Charlie snapped another picture,

 

“Nevermind, this is my new wallpaper,” she said with a smile,

 

“Guys,” said Sam, he shook Dean’s leg,

 

“Hey, Dean, you should go upstairs, your back’s gonna hurt like a bitch if you sleep on the couch,” Dean opened his eyes and yawned,

 

“I wasn’t asleep, I swear,” he said,

 

“Yeah, whatever, just take the sleeping beauty upstairs,” said Sam with a sweet smile,

 

“Cas,” said Dean, “Hey, Cas, wake up man,” Cas opened his eyes and looked at the TV.

 

“Is the movie over?” he asked,

 

“Yes,” said Jess,

 

“I’m sorry I fell asleep, social gatherings get me pretty tired at the end of the day,”

 

“No problem, Cas, wanna go upstairs and go back to sleep?” asked Dean,

 

“Yes, I’ll just take Nikola Tesla outside first,” answered Cas,

 

“It’s okay Cas, I got it, you go to bed, I’ll take him upstairs in a while,” said Sam,

 

“Thank you Sam,” said Cas standing up, “goodnight everybody,”

 

They all said goodnight to Cas and he walked upstairs. Charlie could have sworn that she saw Dean checking him out.

 

“Dean?” Said Sam, Dean jumped a little, worried that his brother had caught him looking at Castiel’s ass.

 

“Wanna help me with Nik?” asked the youngest Winchester.

 

“Sure,” answered Dean, he stood up and walked outside with his brother and the puppy.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, i'll try to finish the next chapter ASAP!


	15. Jesus, Bobby takes no shit from no one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little Chapter of what happened the day after Christmas. It's a Saturday so Chuck invites the Singer/Winchester clan to spend the day with the Novaks. Chuck talks to Bobby about Naomi. Gabe, Dean and Cas cook breakfast and Gabe shares a story of their childhood with the girls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, i wrote a new chapter but somehow this part seemed like it worked better as a separated Chapter, so now you get two new chapters today! Next chapter is when the angst begins (I'm so, so sorry).
> 
> Thank you guys for your nice comments and kudos and all that stuff, i'm really trying to work faster on this story. I already have 3 pages of chapter 17, so yeah, i'll probably have that soon.
> 
> Love you all, enjoy! :D

 

* * *

The day after Christmas was a Saturday, which meant family time at the Novak’s; Chuck invited everyone to spend the day at his house. Charlie, Cas and Dean spent the night at Bobby’s but they made a stop at their apartments to take showers and get ready for the day before going to Chuck’s.

 

Sam, Bobby and Jess knocked on the Novak’s door, Chuck opened a few seconds later and welcomed them inside.

 

“It’s been so long since I last saw you Sam, I’m glad that you’re here,” said Chuck with a smile; Sam hugged him and then introduced his girlfriend,

 

“It’s cool to see you too Chuck, this is Jess, my girlfriend,” he said,

 

“Nice to meet you,” said Chuck,

 

“It’s nice to meet you too Mr. Novak,” answered Jess,

 

“Please call me Chuck, you’re part of this crazy family now,” he replied. Jess laughed and answered with a little nod, Sam held her hand and walked her to the living room.

 

“Hey there old man!” said Bobby,

 

“Bobby Singer, it’s nice to see you,” answered Chuck with a big smile,

 

“You too Chuck, c’mon why don’t you invite me a nice cup of coffee and tell me everything about your tour,”

 

“Sounds like a plan,” replied Chuck.

 

They walked into the kitchen to find Gabriel gathering ingredients to cook breakfast and Michael sitting at the table reading a newspaper,

 

“Wow, it’s my two favorite dads in the world,” said Gabriel,

 

“Hi Mike, Gabe, cooking breakfast?” asked Bobby,

 

“I’m about to start, I’m thinking quiche and French toast,” he answered,

 

“How international of you,” said Bobby. Chuck poured some coffee for him and Bobby. In that moment, Cas walked into the kitchen,

 

“Sorry we’re late, we stopped at the store to buy a sweater for Nikola Tesla,” declared Castiel.

 

“It’s fine kid, we just arrived as well,” answered Bobby. Chuck turned around about to ask why would they buy a sweater for a death scientist when he saw the little dog in his son’s arms.

 

“Nice name for a dog,” said Chuck with a smile,

 

“Thanks dad,” said Cas, “he’s my Christmas present from Dean.” Michael put down the paper to take a better look at the puppy,

 

“Oh, look Cas, you had a baby, you look so alike, it has your ugly face,” he said with a smirk, Jill wasn’t around so he was back to being a jerk. Cas didn’t say anything and just held the dog close to his chest.

 

“It takes after uncle Mike as well, a little bitch just like you,” said Dean walking in the kitchen. Michael looked pretty flustered suddenly and he tried very hard to avoid eye contact with Dean,

 

“Aren’t you going to answer to that?” asked Gabriel making fun of his older brother,

 

“Shut up,” answered Michael with a killer glare,

 

“Okay, that’s it, are you going to freakin' act like adults or do I have to send you to the corner to think of what you did, you freakin' idjits?” asked Bobby,

 

“Sorry,” apologized Gabe. Dean stared at Michael for a few more seconds before apologizing too; Michael just grabbed his newspaper and walked out of the room.

 

“Now you two idjits are gonna help Gabe with breakfast, Cas give me your dog, I’ll take care of him while you cook,” ordered Bobby. Cas rubbed the dog’s ear and then handed him to Bobby.

 

“We’ll be at the studio, call us when breakfast is ready,” said Chuck. He and Bobby walked out of the kitchen,

 

“Jesus, I’m a 26 year old man and I still shake like a Chihuahua whenever that man raises his voice,” declared Gabriel. Cas and Dean walked towards the sink to wash their hands,

 

“I work with him every day man, sometimes I still get nightmares,” joked Dean.

 

Gabe assigned them their chores at the kitchen and they all began to cook.

 

* * *

 

“ I can’t believe those kids,” said Bobby sitting on a couch next to Chuck’s desk, he placed Nik on his lap and the puppy curled himself into a little ball.

 

“I know, Michael gets in my nerves when he talks like that to his brothers,” answered Chuck, “but what stresses me the most is the fact that Cas never answers back, he just stares at him, like he’s scared,” answered Chuck, he sat at his desk.

 

“You know Cas, he’s not one for violence, he’s a good kid,” said Bobby.

 

“I know, but he can be a little naïve sometimes … I’m so proud of him though, he managed to go through the whole year without antidepressant Bobby, I’m so happy for him,” answered Chuck with a smile.

 

“That’s my boy,” said Bobby with a smile. They sat in a comfortable silence for a minute just drinking their coffees and enjoying the company, Bobby rubbed the puppy’s belly.

 

“So, how was the tour?” asked Bobby,

 

“Oh, it was exhausting, but worth it, I can’t believe my books have gotten so famous, it’s just ridiculous,” answered Chuck,

 

“They’re pretty good Chuck, better than all that stupid crap that they sell these days, I’m telling you man, you’ll get a movie deal pretty soon,” said Bobby.

 

“I wish,” answered Chuck with a sad expression.

 

“Okay, what’s eating you man?” asked Bobby, he knew Chuck Novak pretty well, he was sure that the oldest Novak was worried about something.

 

“It’s nothing, just… well, Naomi called a couple of days ago and I’ve come to a conclusion… I just, I don’t know why I keep answering her calls, you know? She hasn’t changed one bit, she still only asks about Michael and Gabe, but never about Cas, he’s her son too, damn it! And he pretends that he doesn’t care but I know that he does and I don’t want him to be sad, especially if it is because of his mother,” confessed Chuck, “she doesn’t deserve him,”

 

“Man, I’m no one to tell you what to do, but I’m your friend and I have to be honest here Chuck, you should tell her to call Michael directly now, I’m pretty sure that Gabe’s still not talking to her and you don’t want to know anything about her, so do yourself a favor and tell her to stop calling here, ”

 

“You’re right Bobby,” said Chuck passing a hand through his hair, “I should probably talk to her, our sons aren’t kids anymore, she doesn’t need to keep checking on them, or to pretend that she cares,”

 

“You’re a good father Chuck, you did what was right for you and your sons, even if they don’t know the truth,”

 

“Thanks Bobby, I needed to hear that,” said Chuck with a sad smile.

 

They kept talking about their lives; Bobby told him about the garage and Chuck talked about his plans to work in a graphic novel with Castiel. Thirty minutes later Sam knocked on the door to inform them that breakfast was ready.

 

* * *

 

The Novaks had a huge dinning room that they only used in special occasions, having six guests for a breakfast was one of those occasions.

 

When Chuck and Bobby came out of the studio Charlie had arrived at the house as well. Everybody sat at the table and ate the breakfast prepared by Gabe, Cas and Dean. After breakfast, Bobby, Sam and Dean exchanged Christmas presents with the Novaks (except for Cas since he already had gotten his presents).

 

“I love that Christmas was next to a weekend, it’s like presents and food will never end,” said Gabe while opening his present from Sam, it was a green Christmas sweater with reindeers wearing sunglasses.

 

“Yes, this was great,” said Chuck, “we should try to have this reunions more often,”

 

“Damn straight, we should probably plan something for the next time these two are in town,” said Bobby pointing at Sam and Michael.

 

“Sounds fine to me, I’ll probably come back for a few days in spring break,” said Sam.

 

Michael wanted to pretend that he was a busy man and that he didn’t have time for random family reunions, but Jill interrupted his thoughts with a simple, “Well, count us in.”

 

By noon they had all promise to keep in touch and had a few plans for the next reunion. They spent the rest of the day eating pizza and sharing stories from their past with Jess, Jill and Charlie.

 

“Oh, there was this time when Dean and Cassie were like fourteen, I was sixteen and Sam like ten I think and we wanted so bad to go to a horror marathon at the movies, it was a week before Halloween, dad wasn’t in town and Bobby didn’t want the guys to go with me, so we waited for our sitter to fall asleep and then Cassie and I went and helped the guys to sneak out of Bobby’s, I stole dad’s car and we went to the freaking movies, we saw ‘the exorcist’, ‘poltergeist’, and ‘it’. Anyway, so after the movies we go back to the car, it was freaking freezing and none of us had a jacket, I tried to start the car but it was dead, we were starting to freak out when it started to rain, it was like instant karma man, so there I was with 3 younger kids, without a freaking dime, 4 am, freezing and the car dead…” told Gabriel,

 

“Oh my God! What did you do?” asked Charlie,

 

“Sam had a few coins in his pocket, we had to call Bobby and tell him the truth,” said Dean,

 

“Oh man,” said Jess,

 

“He was so pissed,” said Sam, “he yelled at us the whole drive back home, it was crazy, Cas started to cry and Gabe keep saying ‘please don’t tell dad’, and Bobby just kept getting louder and louder… Long story short, he goes to the Novak’s wakes up the freaking sitter, fires her, and then the guys had to stay at our home, he calls Chuck next morning and tells him everything and we end up grounded for like two months, he made us volunteer to mow the lawn of all of our neighbors for free for a freaking month and of course we weren’t allowed to go trick or treating that year, Gabriel was devastated, he had to spend his birthday grounded and without candy,”

 

“Jesus, Bobby takes no shit from no one,” said Charlie with a smile,

 

“See guys? It isn’t that hard to understand, girl’s only known me for like a month and she already knows to stay out of trouble,” said Bobby. Dean rolled his eyes.

 

“ You were like a freaking tornado guys,” said Chuck, "especially when Gabe was around,”

 

“I was a saint,” said Gabriel with wide eyes. They all laughed very hard after that.

 

After dessert they all said their goodbyes. The girls had already made plans for next day, they would have a ‘girls only’ Sunday.

 

* * *

 

Dean drove back to the apartment with a grin on his face the whole time, he had loved his day with his weird family.

 

“I’ve missed days like today,” he said, “even Michael behaved and wasn’t a total jerk,”

 

“He called my dog ugly,” said Cas,

 

“He’s not ugly, also, sorry Nik for calling you a little bitch, I just wanted to upset your uncle Mike,” said Dean. The little dog was sitting on his owner’s lap.

 

“He knows you didn’t meant it,” said Cas.

 

“Cool”

 

By the time they were at the apartment Castiel was basically falling asleep while walking, he put on his pajamas and climbed into bed with his dog.

 

* * *

 

Cas spent Sunday reading in company of Nikola Tesla. Dean had announced that morning that he was going out to spend the day just with Sammy since the girls already had plans, he invited Cas but he thought it would be a good idea to let the brothers have some time together.

 

Dean returned on time for dinner with Chinese food and a pie. They watched a movie and had a nice dinner together. When the movie was over they took Nik for a walk at the park, it was a great time, the little dog didn’t walk as fast as other dogs but he enjoyed his time at the park and the guys even played with him for a while; in all that bliss caused by a perfect weekend and a perfect night with Dean, Cas realized that it was the first time in a while that he was actually happy, he smiled and hoped for that moment to last forever.


	16. You wanted to talk, I’m talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the angst! 
> 
> Gabe throws a New Year's eve party at Chuck's. Cas doesn't want to go, but Gabe promises that it will only be them and a small group of friends; of course, the place is crowded, and Cas hates the party. 
> 
> Lisa knows something, Dean breaks a promise and Cas is missing. 
> 
> Cas and Dean have a huge fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Here's the second chapter of the Day, it has a lot of drama, but well, life isn't perfect.
> 
> I hope you like it, as I said on the last Chapter's notes, I'm already writing the next one, which is pretty angsty too.
> 
> Thanks again for reading, :)

* * *

**December 31 st**

Castiel Novak was a man of science, he wasn’t superstitious (unless it came to Missouri’s hand reading because c’mon, is freaking Missouri Moseley), he believed that the universe had everything planned and that everything happened for a reason.

 

When Castiel was a child he had realized one thing, everybody started the year saying the word ‘happy’, it was a fact, your first word this year was probably ‘happy’. Cas wondered if maybe that word had an impact on how you spent the rest of your year, like if you said ‘sad’ instead of ‘happy’ would you have a sad year?

 

When he was twelve he had a big fight with his mom during the New Year’s party at the Novaks; the party was too loud and full of weird aunts pinching his cheeks, he was forced to wear an incredibly itchy jacket and to pose for stupid pictures with his brothers and cousins, he hated it. He decided to retire to his room to have a little peace and obviously when Naomi found out she went upstairs and chastised him for being so antisocial; he just stayed there crying in silence, after a while she looked at her watch and saw that it was almost midnight, she left the room after saying “you better come downstairs and spend the rest of the party with the family like a normal human being.”

When Naomi left he plopped himself on his bed and used his pillow to cover his scream. After a few minutes he stood up and walked towards the door, before opening it he took a deep breath and said “why can’t you leave me alone, mother?” when he got downstairs people were hugging and celebrating the new year, and then he realized his first words that year had been _‘why can’t you leave me alone, mother?’_

 

A few months later, Naomi left her family. Cas never told anyone, not even Dean, but after that year he made sure to always start his new years with the word ‘happy’.

 

This day Cas was finding it pretty hard to remember the word “happy,” he was trying to act cool but he was being freaking miserable.

 

It all started when a few days back Gabe had the amazing idea of throwing a New Year’s party at his Dad’s house. Chuck was going to Las Vegas to spend a few days with his cousins so Gabe had the house to himself (because Michael was a freaking guest so he didn’t count thank you very much). He called Dean and Sam and told them his amazing idea. Cas wasn’t that excited.

 

“C’mon man, it’s gonna be awesome, and Gabe said that it will only be us and a few of his friends,” said Dean the first time Cas complained about the party.

 

“Yeah Cas, when was the last time that we did something this fun together?” asked Sam,

 

“Literally last week Sam, we gathered at my father’s house and had fun,”

 

“Okay, what I mean is that we don’t get to do this anymore because we don’t live in the same city man, we barely see each other, and Skype doesn’t count,” said Sam, Cas opened his mouth to say something but closed it again when Sam commented about Skype, ” c’mon Cas, Jess and I are leaving two days after the party,”

 

“Okay, you guys are probably right, it will be fun and a good way to say goodbye to Sam and Jess,” concluded Cas.

 

* * *

 

 

Now on the very day of the party Cas was sitting at his desk staring at the screen of his computer.

 

“Hey Cas, you seen my ipod?” asked Dean entering his friend’s room. Cas didn’t hear him; he just kept staring at his laptop.

 

“Cas? Castiel!” Dean approached him slowly,

 

“Oh, yeah sorry,” answered Cas, “ I took it to listen to my playlist, I’m feeling a little stressed,” Cas stood up and grabbed the ipod from his jacket, “Here,” he said returning it to his friend,

 

“What’s got you so worked up man?” asked Dean,

 

“Gabe made a Facebook event for tonight,” answered Cas, “I was checking it and already more than 50 people have confirmed their assistance Dean, you said it would only be us and a few of Gabe’s friends, I can’t do this,”

 

“Crap, look Cas, of course you can man, your Dad’s house is fucking huge, it won’t feel crowded and besides I’ll stay with you the whole time, okay? If you feel like it is too much you just let me know and we’ll come home, it doesn’t matter the hour,” Dean tried to encourage him,

 

“Okay, we have a deal,” answered Cas. Dean ruffled his friend’s hair before leaving the room.

 

Cas began to get ready a couple of hours before they left for the party. It wasn’t a formal occasion like Christmas, so he opted for black jeans, a Fall out boy gray sweatshirt and his black vans, he also added a black leather jacket because it was pretty cold outside (and because it looked damn cool). Cas loved to wear black clothes when he went outside because most of the time people would think that he was some kind of weirdo who liked metal music and sacrificed babies as a hobby, which meant that people kept their distance.

 

He was looking at the mirror trying to fix his messy hair and he wondered how would he look like if he had a Mohawk, he started to play with his hair, it was funny, he had never wanted to do anything to his hair, but now the idea didn’t seem too crazy, maybe not a weird haircut but change its color, green or blue or pink, it would look pretty cool.

 

“Cas, you ready?” asked Dean walking in his room again, “What are you doing man?” he asked,

 

“I was just wondering how would I look with a Mohawk or maybe pink hair,” confessed Cas,

 

“Dude your hair is awesome just the way it is, all messy and kinda curly and… anyway, are you planning on getting a different haircut?” asked Dean blushing a little,

 

“No, I guess I was just bored, I’m almost ready to leave,” said Cas, if Dean liked his hair like that he would just leave it like that then.

 

“Okay, I’m just gonna go iron my shirt and then I’m ready too,” said Dean walking out of the room. Cas, as usual, gave up with his hair. He sat down on the floor and played with Nik.

 

“I’m sorry that you can’t come Nikola Tesla, I wish you could,” said Cas to his little dog, “I also wish I could stay here with you, having a nice quiet evening watching Netflix.” He kept playing with his dog until Dean showed up again to inform him that he was ready,

 

“C’mon Cas, party time,” said Dean with a grin; Cas stood up and followed his friend.

 

“Good bye Nikola Tesla, happy new year,” said Cas. The puppy just stared at him looking like he clearly wanted to keep playing.

 

“See ya Nik, take care of the house,” said Dean.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean was right, Chuck’s house was huge, still Cas began to feel like he was drowning in the sea of people. All their friends were there: the guys from Kraken, Charlie, Michael, Jill, Sam and Jess. Dean and Cas stayed with them, chatting and having a good time, until someone hijacked the sound system and started to play annoying electronic music out loud; after that, Dean, Charlie and Cas went outside to get away from the noise.

 

“Everything cool, Cas?” asked Dean, Cas was looking a little pale,

 

“Yes, I just think I need a drink,” answered Castiel,

 

“C’mon, I saw a cooler next to the pool,” Said Charlie, they followed her. The party was less crowded outside since it was pretty cold, but there were still a lot of people. Charlie grabbed a couple of beers and passed one to Cas, he was about to open it when Dean stopped him,

 

Wait, didn’t you take your anxiety pills tonight?” he asked,

 

“Yes, but apparently they’re not working, now if you excuse me,” answered Cas, he opened the cap of the bottle but Dean took the bottle from him,

 

“Nice try but we would really appreciate if you didn’t die tonight,” said Dean with a grin,

 

“Fine, I’ll drink juice,” said Cas rolling his eyes. He gave his bottle to Charlie and picked a bottle of juice instead. Right in that moment they heard an annoying voice calling behind them,

 

“Dean, honey!” said Lisa walking towards them, she was wearing the same red dress she wore for the brunch, _‘isn’t she freezing her ass?’_ thought Charlie,

 

“Great, now I really want the beer,” whispered Cas, Charlie heard him and giggled, “You didn’t hear anything,” said Cas, Charlie made the motion of zipping her mouth with a hand and smiled at his friend. They spent the next hour listening to Lisa babbling. More and more people were arriving to the party,

 

“Jesus, I’m not sure that Gabriel understands the concept of ‘a small gathering’ like… at all,” said Charlie,

 

“Dad is gonna be so upset when he finds out,” said Cas,

 

“Do you think he will?” asked Dean,

 

“There are pictures of this party all over the Internet, my brother isn’t exactly the best to hide this kind of things from social media,” answered Castiel,

 

“Well, then he better enjoys this party before Chuck finds out and throws him out of the house,” said Dean with a smile, Charlie and Cas laughed.

 

As the time passed Lisa began to get a little too handsy with Dean, even Charlie was getting uncomfortable, so she decided to observe the people of the party instead of paying attention to his friends and Lisa, at some point she saw a cute girl who kept looking back at her and smiling,

 

“Be right back,” said Charlie before leaving her group behind, she walked right at the mysterious girl. Dean, Lisa and Cas just stared at her while she chatted with the girl and got closer every minute,

 

“Damn, Charlie’s good,” said Dean with a smile. Cas saw Lisa scrunching her nose. They kept talking for a little while but Cas was feeling more and more uncomfortable. A little past eleven, after they lost sight of Charlie and her friend, Lisa got closer to Dean and whispered something at his ear, Cas couldn’t hear it but after he saw his friend’s face he could imagine what was going on.

 

“Hey Cas, do you mind if I steal Dean for a few minutes?” said Lisa holding her boyfriend’s hand. Cas looked at them and saw the way Dean was looking at her.

 

“Not at all,” Cas lied,

 

“You sure man? It’ll only take like five minutes,” said Dean,

 

“Yeah, sure I’ll go check on Gabriel and Sam,” answered Cas with a fake smile,

 

“Thanks man, see you in a few,” said Dean, he and Lisa walked towards the front part of the house. Cas stood there for a few minutes, he knew it was stupid to be upset because Dean had broken his promise, he wasn’t a child anymore, he could take care of himself; he turned around and grabbed a beer, he knew just one wouldn’t hurt him and he walked inside the house.

 

* * *

 

Cas walked between the sea of people and saw that there was even more people inside the place now, he only was able to see Sam because he was the tallest at the party; he saw from a distance that his friends were having fun, even Michael and Jill seemed to be having a great time; he wanted to go and hang around with them, but he knew that he was in an awful mood and he didn’t want to ruin their party. He looked at his watch and saw that it was only 11:15. ‘Maybe I should go to my room and try to calm down a little before midnight,’ he thought. He finished his whole beer and placed the bottle on a table then he headed upstairs. He was walking to his room when he heard a noise coming from the TV room, he thought that maybe one of his brothers had left the TV on, so he walked towards the room to turn it off. The door was ajar, which seemed weird to him, he looked into the room and saw that there were people inside.

A shirtless man with a nice back full of freckles was standing with his back to Cas, in front of the guy there was a woman and the man was helping her to take off her red dress, in that moment it all clicked in Castiel’s head, those two were Dean and Lisa, and apparently it was going to take them more than five minutes to go back to the party. Lisa raised her head in that moment and looked exactly on Cas’ direction, he wasn’t sure if she saw her but what she did next made him think that maybe she did. Lisa winked at Castiel then she pulled Dean into a passionate kiss and rubbed her hand on the front of Dean’s jeans; after hearing the noise that Dean made, Cas gave a few steps back and leaned into the wall.

 

He had caught Dean in a lot of compromising and weird shit, but this was the first time that it made Castiel’s heart break into pieces, maybe it was because he could feel Lisa enjoying his pain. He took a few breaths and then walked to his room, the problem was that once he was inside his room he realized that it wasn’t enough.

 

He climbed in his bed and put a couple of pillows next to him; he hugged the pillows and tried to relax but it was useless; he felt sick and lonely and he just wanted a quiet place without people or loud noises, without Dean. He walked out of the room and went downstairs again, he took a quick look towards his friends to make sure that they weren’t looking, once he made sure of that, he walked out of the party and then he kept walking, and when he felt like walking wasn’t enough he ran, and he didn’t stop until he reached his apartment.

 

He was tired as hell, he had never ran that much in his freaking life, it wasn’t even a long distance, fifteen minutes running tops, but he wasn’t used to do it. He walked towards the kitchen and drank two bottles of water, then he went to his room to find Nikola Tesla sleeping on his rug, he removed his jacket and threw it on the floor then picked up the dog and went to bed; he was petting his puppy and crying in silence when he heard the sound of fireworks on the distance, it was midnight. This time, he didn’t say a word because he was scared that his first word of the year would be something full of hate and pain.

 

* * *

 

 

It definitely took Dean and Lisa more than five minutes to return to the party; when they came downstairs the place was even more crowded, it was almost impossible to walk between all the people. It took him almost twenty minutes to find Sam.

“Hey Sammy, Jess, Happy New Year!” said Dean with a smile,

 

“Happy new year Dean!” said Jess,

 

“Hi guys, happy new year! Where were you?” asked Sam,

 

“Outside, we’ve been looking for you for ages man, this place is fucking crazy,” said Dean,

 

“ I know man,” said Sam,

 

“Be right back Sammy,” said Dean when he noticed that Cas wasn't around, he pulled Lisa by the hand and they walked outside, after five minutes they finally made it to the front yard,

 

“C’mon let’s go to the pool, see if we can find Cas,” said Dean. Lisa agreed and didn’t say that she knew that Cas was probably upstairs. They walked to the backyard to find the place also crowded as hell,

 

“Do you see him?” asked Dean,

 

“No, let’s walk around and see if we can find him,” suggested Lisa,

 

“Okay,”

 

“Wanna grab something to drink first? I’m a little thirsty,” she said,

 

They walked towards the cooler; Dean picked a beer and Lisa a bottle of water since she was driving back home later. They kept looking for Cas (and Dean kept drinking), but after forty minutes Dean decided to go back inside and ask his friends.

 

“Hey Sammy, have you seen Cas?” asked Dean to his brother once he found him,

 

“I think I saw him going upstairs a while ago, Gabe went looking for him,” Dean and Lisa stayed there for ten minutes waiting for Gabe but he didn’t show up, they looked around trying to find Cas but again, nothing.  They were about to go outside again when Gabe arrived with a tray full of shots and a bottle of tequila,

 

“C’mon guys, tequila for everyone,” he said. Dean drank his shot (and Lisa’s too) and then asked him about Cas,

 

“Gabe, have you seen Cas?”

 

“Sam said he saw him going upstairs around midnight, he probably went to cool down a little, you know how he gets when there’s a lot of people, he’ll be fine, just give him some space, you know?” answered Gabe pouring another round of shots for his friends,

 

“Yeah, you’re probably right, I’ll go and check on him later,” said Dean.

 

They kept dancing and drinking though Dean was a little concerned because apparently Cas was still upstairs; he looked at his watch and saw that it was 3:15 already.

 

“I should probably go upstairs and check on him,” said Dean to Lisa,

 

“Okay, why don’t you walk me to my car first and then you can go and talk to Cas,” said Lisa with a smile.

 

“Sure,” said Dean. Lisa said goodbye to Dean’s friends and then Dean walked with her to the Car. They made out for a while; Dean was a little too drunk by this point,

 

“Okay, you should probably go to bed honey, you had a lot of tequila,” said Lisa pushing Dean a little,

 

“You’re probably right,” he said. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and then climbed into her car.

 

“Good night Dean, happy new year,” she said waving goodbye,

 

“G’night Lis, see ya,” said Dean. He waited until Lisa was gone to turn around and go back to the house, he felt a little dizzy when he started to walk,

 

“Jesus, I’m drunker than I thought,” he laughed. He walked inside the house and then (slowly) went upstairs. He opened the door to Castiel’s room and everything was dark, the light of the hall illuminated a little the room and then he saw a lump under the covers on the bed and he assumed that Cas was already sleeping,

 

“Good thinking Cas,” he said. He took off his jeans and his shirt, and Climbed into bed next to [what he thought that was] Cas. Dean was too drunk to notice that he was actually next to a couple of pillows and that Cas wasn’t at the party anymore.

 

“Night Cas,” whispered Dean and after a few minutes he fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Cas had cried for a long time, his glasses were full of dry stains of his tears. He wasn’t sure why was he crying, he knew he was jealous of Lisa, but he also felt betrayed because Dean had promised that he would stay with him the whole time. The look on Lisa’s eyes was another reason to cry, she knew, Cas was sure about it now, she knew about his feelings for Dean and she was obviously saying “I win,” and the truth was that she did, Dean would never love Cas in that way and even if he did, Cas couldn’t reciprocate because he was broken and nobody deserved to have a broken person by their side. At least he was certain of something, Dean didn’t see him when he caught them, so he could keep pretending that everything was cool, he knew that Lisa wouldn’t say a word; he would just allow himself to cry tonight and next morning when he woke up he would put on his mask again and pretend that everything was fine. He turned to his side and hugged Nik; he kept crying until he fell asleep.

 

Castiel had technically gone early to bed (early for him at least), so he woke up relatively early as well. I was 9:35 when he opened his eyes, he contemplated staying in bed the whole day but he was feeling hungry. He followed his usual ritual for getting out of bed and then walked to the kitchen to prepare some tea; while he waited for the water to boil he took Nikola Tesla outside to do his necessities. They walked back inside to find the water already boiling, Cas prepared his tea and cooked himself a cheese omelet with bacon. He read a few pages of a newspaper in German just to distract himself. After breakfast and reading he played a little with Nik. He considered calling Gabriel, but then he remembered that they all probably went to bed pretty late and they would certainly still be sleeping. He decided to watch a movie instead.

 

* * *

 

Dean woke up feeling the light of the sun on his face; they had forgotten to draw the curtains during the night. He also realized that the person he was hugging was very soft, he opened his eyes and saw that he was actually cuddling with a freaking pillow,

 

“Fuck,” he said; last night he was pretty sure that Cas was next to him on bed. He got up and walked to Cas’s bathroom, he knocked on the door but got no answer,

 

“Cas, are you in there?” he asked, he waited for another ten seconds before opening the door; the bathroom was empty, he grabbed a toothbrush from under the sink (Cas always kept extra toothbrushes for the gests) and proceeded to brush his teeth. He was still half asleep, after he brushed his teeth he washed his face and then he noticed something, last night he didn’t make sure that Cas was in fact next to him, what if Cas was never there? Where the fuck was Castiel then? He dried his face and ran downstairs feeling pretty worried about his friend.

 

Gabriel, Sam and Jess were sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee when Dean walked in.

 

“Guys have you seen Cas?” he asked, they turned their attention and Gabe whistled when he saw him.

 

“Dean, care to explain why are you standing in the kitchen only in your underwear?” asked Sam. Dean remembered in that moment that he was almost naked.

 

“Fuck… doesn’t matter, have you guys seen Cas?” he asked again,

 

“Not since last night,” answered Sam,

 

“Shit,” said Dean passing a hand through his hair,

 

“What happened Dean?” Asked Sam,

 

“He’s gone,” said Dean,

 

“What do you mean he’s gone, what did you do to my little brother, Dean? FUCK! Is that why you’re in your underwear?” asked Gabriel,

 

“What? No, I mean, last night I went to bed and I was too drunk, I could’ve sworn that Cas was next to me on bed and I…” Dean was ranting now and his words didn’t make a lot of sence,

 

“Oh my God! Dean shut up, what the fuck did you do to Cas, is he okay?” Asked Sam standing up. Right in that moment Michael and Jill walked in the kitchen.

 

“What’s going on?” asked Michael,

 

“Apparently Dean-o here stole our little brother’s innocence last night and now Cas is upset or something”, said Gabe,

 

“What? No… okay let me explain this again, last night I went to his room to check on him and I saw him under the covers already asleep, I was really drunk so I decided to go to bed too. NOTHING happened, just sleeping next to each other, thank you. This morning when I woke up I noticed that maybe I was too drunk last night because Cas wasn’t next to me, I was hugging a fucking pillow, and then I realized that I actually didn’t check if he was there, like I didn’t see him, I just assumed that he was there, but he wasn't” explained Dean,

 

“He must be here, somewhere,” said Jill,

 

“Yeah, I mean Sam saw him going upstairs after midnight,” said Gabe,

 

“Before,” corrected Sam,

 

“What?” asked Gabe, “you told me that you saw him around midnight,”

 

“Well around midnight can also mean before midnight Gabriel,” said Sam.

 

“Dean, you were with him during the whole party, when was the last time you saw him?” asked Jess,

 

“I kinda wasn’t with him the whole party,” said Dean almost in a whisper. Sam grabbed his phone and started dialing Cas’s number.

 

“What do you mean you weren’t with him the whole party? After he went outside with you and Charlie we didn’t see him again,” Said Gabriel.

 

“He’s not answering,” said Sam.

 

“Have you looked around the house?” asked Jill,

 

“No, good idea, lets look around, Sam keep calling him and Dean please go and put on some pants or something,” said Gabriel. They all walked through the house looking for Castiel. Dean walked back to his room and grabbed a pair of pajama pants that belonged to Cas, he didn’t bother with a shirt.

 

Fifteen minutes later they were back in the kitchen and of course nobody had seen Cas.

 

“What about his icloud? We can track his phone with that right?” asked Jill. They all turned their attention to Dean.

 

“What?” he asked,

 

“You’re the one who knows him the most, do you know his password to that shit?” asked Gabe,

 

“No man, don’t you know Cas? He likes to keep his secrets, I’m not even allowed to take his laptop without his permission,”

 

“Charlie might now how to hack it,” said Sam,

 

“Where’s Charlie?” asked Dean,

 

“She’s not home either, we didn’t see her when we were looking for Cas,” said Jill.

 

“Maybe she knows something,” Dean grabbed his phone and called Charlie; he waited for a few seconds until Charlie picked up,

 

“What’s up?” asked Charlie,

 

“Hey, Red where are you?” asked Dean,

 

“Well Dean-o, I spent a magical night with a sexy goddess of brown skin and big eyes,” said Charlie,

 

“Is Cas with you?” asked Dean,

 

“Dude, aren’t you listening? I said hot sexy goddess of brown skin and big eyes, not hot sexy dude with blue eyes and an awesome ass,” she joked,

 

“Charlie, this is serious, we don’t know where he is,” said Dean,

 

“Last time I saw him was when I left with Rosa,” said Charlie, “do you need me to come over Dean?” she asked sounding worried.

 

“No, It’s fine, just, you think you can find him with that app in his iphone, I don’t know the password,” said Dean,

 

“Shit, I’m on my way home, I’ll call you as soon as I get there and I’ll try to track his freaking phone,” said Charlie,

 

“Okay, thanks Red,” answered Dean; he hanged up and looked at his friends with desperation in his eyes.

 

“Charlie’s on her way home, she hasn’t seen him but she’s gonna try to track his phone,” he said.

 

“I’m beginning to worry now,” said Gabriel; Sam kept dialing his number but Cas didn’t answer.

 

“Okay, lets recap,” said Jill, ”last time we saw him was around 9:30 when he left with Dean and Charlie,”

 

“When was the last time you saw him?” asked Sam to his brother,

 

“I’m not sure, after eleven I think,” answered Dean; he was feeling like shit,

 

“Who was he with? Charlie?” asked Jill,

 

“No, Charlie left with a girl before that… I, we… Lisa wanted to spend some alone time, so we left him next to the pool, he was standing right next to the cooler and then he said that it was okay if I left with Lisa, he said that he would go and hang around with you guys,” said Dean,

 

“Well, he didn’t come back to talk to us,” said Sam.

 

“Was he drinking?” asked Jess,

 

“No, he wanted to but I didn’t let him because he had taken his anxiety pills, he was just drinking juice, at least he was when we left him,” in that moment Dean really felt like shit, what if Cas ended up drinking and something happened to him? He could be hurt, he was too close to the pool what if he?

 

“FUCK!” yelled Dean, he ran outside as fast as he could, everyone following him,

 

“What is it Dean?” asked Sam,

 

“The pool,” he yelled,

 

“OMG” said Jill. Dean reached the pool in record time, but apart from a few bottles of beer there was nothing (or no one) else in the pool.

 

“Oh, thank God,” said Dean.

 

“Maybe we should call Chuck,” suggested Jess,

 

“No way,” said Gabe, “not yet,”

 

“Maybe he went with someone,” said Michael, “you know how he is, like a little kid, maybe someone offered him candy and he followed them into a van, he’s stupid like that,”

 

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” yelled Dean, he pushed Michael to the pool,

 

“Don’t you ever dare talking of him like that, your brother is not stupid, you are,” he said. Dean walked back into the house,

 

“Dean, where are you going?” asked Sam.

 

“Just, think like Cas okay. He probably got tired of all that people and the loud noises and decided to go somewhere else, Sammy you go to Bobby’s and check there, I’ll go back to the apartment, Gabe, you look with your neighbors, girls you stay here in case he comes back, if anyone finds him, call the others,” Commanded Dean, “and Michael, go fuck yourself,” he finished.

 

He only walked back in the house to grab his keys from the kitchen and then he headed outside, he didn’t care about the cold outside, he was still wearing only a pair of pajama pants, not even shoes. He didn’t give a fuck about anything; he needed to find Cas.

* * *

 

Cas finished watching the movie and then decided to take a bath to relax, Gabe would probably call him soon to ask him where he was. He refilled Nik’s plate with water and then walked straight to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and opened the tap.

 

After he undressed he looked in his cabinet for a bath bomb, he ended up picking one that was called ‘phoenix rising,’ he found the name inspiring. He dropped the bath bomb in the bathtub and then he got in.

 

He enjoyed a quiet peaceful bath; it was really helping him to get ready for the day.

* * *

  

Dean ran upstairs, he didn’t have time to wait for the freaking elevator; he opened the door to his apartment and walked straight to Castiel’s room. The place was a mess, like usual, he saw the jacket that Cas was wearing last night, it was on the floor now. He picked up the jacket and Cas’ phone fell to the floor, ’23 missed calls from Sam, 15 missed Calls from Dean and 11 text messages,” announced the screen. Dean walked out of the room and then he heard a noise in the bathroom, he opened the door to find Castiel taking a bath.

 

“Dean?” asked Castiel with wide eyes. ( _'There goes my first word of the year'_ ). He placed his hands over his genitals trying to save his dignity, though since the water was a bright shade of pink due to the bath bomb, Dean didn’t see anything.

 

“What the fuck Castiel? What the actual fuck?” asked Dean.

 

“What, what are you…?”

 

“You scared the shit out of me man, we couldn’t find you, I fucking woke up this morning and you were fucking gone, no one had seen you since last night, you weren’t answering your stupid phone, WHAT THE FUCK CASTIEL?!” Dean was fuming at that point,

 

“Are those my pajama pants?” asked Cas,

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you? I’m fucking telling you that you scared the shit out of me and all you do is ask if these are your fucking pajamas?” asked Dean furious, he took off the pants and threw them at Cas.

 

“Here, have your stupid pajama pants!” said Dean. Cas just stared at him scared to talk; he grabbed the pants and used them to cover himself a little more.

 

“You’re calling me Castiel,” said Cas squinting his eyes.

 

“Yes, because I’m fucking pissed,” answered Dean.

 

Right in that moment Charlie entered the bathroom too,

 

“Oh my God! I didn’t see anything, I swear, I’ll just leave you two to it,” said Charlie covering her eyes. In that moment Dean noticed, he was only wearing boxer briefs and Cas was naked in the bathtub. If he weren’t so upset with his best friend he would probably be aroused.

 

“Charlie, this isn’t what it looks like, we were just discussing Cas’ disappearance, well I was discussing it, he only thought of answering that I was wearing his freaking pajama pants,” Charlie uncovered her eyes and saw that Cas was covering with what she assumed were the freaking pants.

 

“Okay, I’ll just let everyone know that you found Cas and leave you to argue,” said Charlie,

 

“Oh, we’re not arguing, Mister pink water here doesn’t want to fucking talk apparently,” it was the first time that Charlie had seen Dean acting like this.

 

“You know what Dean?” asked Castiel, “maybe I don’t want to talk because I’m also upset with you and I don’t want to say something hurtful to you right now,” said Cas raising his voice,

 

“Like what Cas, huh?” asked Dean.

 

“Like that I left because you fucking left me alone at the stupid party, I didn’t want to go and you convinced me to go saying that you would be with me the whole time, and then you left and I felt fucking stupid because I’m like a little kid, I still need people to take care of me and I’m fucking pathetic Dean!” yelled Cas.

 

“Okay, I’m gonna leave now, I’ll be outside,” said Charlie, though she wasn’t sure if they heard her.

* * *

 

Charlie dialed Sam’s number,

 

“Hey Charlie, any luck?” asked Sam,

 

“Yeah, I found him, well technically Dean found him first, they’re at their apartment, I’m here too… they’re kinda having a fight, it’s horrible,” confessed Charlie,

 

“ Fuck, they don’t argue normally, so when they do, shit gets serious,” said Sam, “They’re fine though?” he asked,

 

“Yes, they’re locked in the bathroom yelling at each other, but they were fine, physically, at least… oh my God, Dean’s not gonna punch him or something right?” asked Charlie,

 

“No, but things are gonna get bad probably, I’m sorry that you got to see that, the last time they fought, they were still in high school,” said Sam,

 

“shit,” answered Charlie, she went silent for a few seconds and then she could hear Cas clearly yelling, something that sounded a lot like “I don’t want to be a fucking burden, I’m sorry.”

 

“Crap, Sam I better keep an eye on those two, I’ll call you later, bye,” she said.

 

“Good luck,” answered Sam.

 

* * *

 

 

“Cas, c’mon don’t say shit like that,” said Dean,

 

“No, you wanted to talk, I’m talking,” answered Cas,

 

“Dude, you’re not a fucking burden, you’re my best friend, I care about you, I was so fucking worried,” said Dean. Cas was pretty upset with his friend and the next thing that came out of his mouth he said it without really thinking about it,

 

“Well, you sure as hell weren’t worried about me last night when you were fucking Lisa in my house!” he yelled. Dean opened his mouth and looked at his friend in horror,

 

“Cas, I’m… look,” now he really felt like shit,

 

“No Dean, you look, I understand that we’re not kids anymore, I get it, I know that you’re just following the path that your life is supposed to take… everyone treats me like a fucking child but I’m not, Dean, you don’t get to treat me like that, I’m not gonna break if you tell me that you’re not staying with me because you want to go and make out with your girlfriend… but it upsets me that you treat me like a fucking idiot, that you feel that you have to take me with you everywhere like your fucking pet, because you feel sorry for me, but the minute you have something more important to do, then you fucking let me there and say ‘I’ll be back in five minutes Cas’…” his face was almost the same shade as the water at this point, Cas had a lot of stuff to say.

 

Cas stood up covering himself with the pants; he grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist,

 

“Now, if you excuse me, I’m going to my room; I have to call my brothers and yours to apologize for leaving like that,” said Cas, he got out of the tub and pulled the plug to let the water go.

 

“Cas…” whispered Dean,

 

“No Dean Winchester, I don’t want to talk right now, I don’t want to say more hurtful things,” said Cas, he opened the door of the bathroom and walked to his room.

 

* * *

 

Dean and Cas had only argued like that in another three occasions in their whole lives. Their friendship had always worked because Dean thought his mission in life was to take care of those he loved; and Cas liked to have someone to support him all the time, it made him feel safe and confident. Of course sometimes Cas felt that Dean treated him like a child, he knew it was on Dean’s nature, he did the same with Sam. Sometimes Cas would feel guilty because he was a burden to Dean, and Dean would feel guilty because he made Cas feel like shit.

 

Cas stayed locked up in his room the rest of the Day. Dean was expecting him to leave the room at some point to take Nik out, but it didn’t happen. Cas, of course kept climbing through the fire scape to the rooftop every time that Nikola Tesla needed to go out. Charlie had stayed for a while just to make sure that they didn’t kill each other but then she left.

 

Dean was really worried about Cas, what if he was having a meltdown? Or scratching his hand, or crying?

 

At 7:30 Dean decided that it was enough, he opened Cas’s door to find his friend sitting on his bed, reading.

 

“Cas, can we talk?” asked Dean; Cas put the book down.

 

“Okay,” he said.

 

“Look man, I’m so fucking sorry, I shouldn’t have talked to you like that, you had all the right in the world to yell back at me,” said Dean sitting on the bed next to his best friend.

 

“I’m sorry that I yelled at you Dean, you can be infuriating sometimes,”

 

“I know, and you too, but at the end of the day I’m your best friend and you’re my best friend and there are more good things that we see in each other than infuriating ones, right?”

 

“You’re right,” said Cas.

 

“I’m not sorry for what I said Dean,” confessed Cas,

 

“I know, and you were right too Cas, I promised you to stay with you, not because I feel like I have to take care of you, but because you’re my best friend and I know how hard it can get to you when it comes to crowded places… I was an asshole Cas, I let you down because I couldn’t keep it in my fucking pants,” said Dean. Cas didn’t answer.

 

“I think that we both did and said stupid things, and maybe it will take some time, but we have to figure this out, it’s part of growing up, you need to stop treating me like a baby and I need to stop being so dependent of you,” said Cas finally. Dean smiled at his friend,

 

“Okay, we have a deal, then,” he said, “Now c’mon, I cooked dinner,” said Dean. They walked out of the room and Cas found a bowl of mac & cheese waiting for him on the dinning table,

 

“Thanks Dean,” he said,

 

“You’re welcome,” answered Dean.

 

After dinner, Cas took Nik for a little walk then he returned home and went back to bed. Dean walked into his room to say good night,

 

“Hey, wanna cuddle?” he offered,

 

“Not really Dean, “ he answered. Dean tried not to look sad and he just gave a small nod,

 

“It’s fine Cas, I get it,” he said.

 

“Good night Dean,” answered Cas,

 

“Night Cas,” said Dean.

 

Neither of them could sleep at all that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit's about to get serious after this, i'm not gonna lie. Next Chapter contains mentions of past drug use and self harm, i'm adding that to the tags and well, i'll warn you again on the notes of the next chapter. It's not very explicit to be honest, but well, I have to warn you anyway. 
> 
> I'll try to finish next chapter ASAP,


	17. I’m going to miss this, so much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long Chapter!
> 
> Things are a little awkward after the fight between Dean and Cas. Cas talks to Charlie and tells her a secret of his past that no one, not even Dean, knows about. Dean and Cas try to fix their differences; Lisa is a mayor bitch, Cas has to take hard decisions that will change the course of everything.
> 
> Also, it's Dean's birthday, Gabe and Cas cook him an awesome cake (and have a deep talk about love); Charlie spends some quality time with Dean, and Cas again is awesome at giving presents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Today i'm tired as fuck, i had a lot to do and I am horribly sunburnt but i said to myself 'dude, you're not getting out of this chair until you finish this freaking chapter', and well, here it is! :D 
> 
> It's a pretty long chapter, it has a few triggers, not mayor though, but i need to warn you, basically Drugs, self harm (though not really), and alcohol abuse. (if you don't want to read this but still want to know what happens in this chapter, you can message me and I can tell you what you need to know). 
> 
> Thank's to everyone of you for the nice comments and the kudos and for reading this, i'm really glad that you like it, i'm sorry but the story is about to get really angsty, i promise a happy ending, i swear, but as i said before, life isn't pure happiness, you need some shit in your life to learn and appreciate what the future brings.
> 
> So, again, thanks for reading and here it is....

 

* * *

 

During the next week things got a little too awkward for the guys. Every time that Dean helped Cas with something, he couldn’t help but to wonder if he was back to treating his best friend like a child. Cas could sense Dean’s awkwardness, and it made him feel insecure, he also had to add the fact that Lisa hadn’t say a thing yet about his suspicions, maybe she didn’t know about Cas’s feelings for Dean after all.

 

“It’s normal to feel this way,” said Charlie. She was having dinner with Cas at a small Indian restaurant, “I mean, you both said hurtful stuff, things can’t go back to normal just like that,”

 

“I know you’re right, but it feels pretty awkward, yesterday I sneezed and he handed me a tissue… then he apologized for treating me like a child, I think I broke him,” said Cas with a sad face.

 

“I guess it’s the first time that someone calls him out on his ‘mother hen’ issue, has Sam ever told him anything?” asked Charlie,

 

“Not like that, he just says the usual ‘I’m not a kid anymore Dean’, but I guess you’re probably right, you know? It’s just that, he’s always feeling guilty for everything that happens around, he blames himself for everything, if Sam gets a cold he would blame himself because he didn’t send him a package of C vitamins six months before, he’s always been like that… but he’s not used to people blaming him for something, I think that is what made him feel like shit, and of course that makes me feel like shit too,” Cas removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose,

 

“It’s gonna be alright Cas, you two are best friends, you’ll figure it out, it’ll probably be awkward for a while but you’ll get over it, I mean, you have fought before, haven’t you?” asked Charlie,

 

“Yes, three times, when my father took me out of school and decided to homeschool me, we had a big argument because Dean was afraid that I would stop being his friend if I left school, we didn’t talk to each other for a week until Bobby found out and talked to us; then when I wasn’t sure if I should go to college because I thought I wasn’t smart enough, he was furious, and he was actually right on that one,”

 

“And the third time?” asked Charlie,

 

“No one else knows about it, this is a secret Charlie… it was a big argument and it was… I’m not proud of what I did, okay? I was stressed and we were in college, I had a lot going on with school, assignments and tests, and this guy from my class kept texting me and asking me out, which stressed me a lot too, I didn’t have time for a meltdown, I needed to keep focused,” said Cas.

 

“What happened?” asked Charlie curiously,

 

“I… hum, a girl from my philosophy class got me some ecstasy, Molly, she called it, she said it would help me to feel happy and with a lot of energy to finish my assignments,”

 

“Oh my god, Cas!” Charlie was pretty surprised,

 

“I took it and, it was great, I’m not going to lie, for a moment I wondered if that was what it felt like to be normal, you know like if I could live without the anxiety and the Asperger’s and just be happy,” Cas began to play with the straw in his drink, “I finished all of my work that night, I was, as Dean would say it, ‘on fire’, but then, the effects of the drug passed and I slowly felt the depression and the anxiety coming back, and it was awful, I was numb, lying on the floor and crying like a baby… I just wanted to feel something again and I did something pretty stupid, I got drunk, Dean wasn’t at the dorm that night, he had a project or something and he was working with his friends, so I drank all the alcohol I could find in the dorm, I’ve never been drunker in my life Charlie, I barely remember anything of what happened next, and as I said, I’m not proud of it,” Charlie placed her hand over Cas’,

 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to Cas, this is between you and Dean,” said Charlie,

 

“Charlie, what I’m about to tell you, Dean doesn’t know about it either, I’ve never told this to anyone,”

 

“Okay…” said Charlie,

 

“I was pretty drunk, and I’m pretty sure that I still had something of the drug inside me because I felt great and happy again and well, normal… that guy I told you about, the one who was texting me all the time, well he texted me again that night, he wanted to know if I wanted to go and grab coffee to the campus Starbucks with him, apparently he was studying as well, and I said yes, I went with him…” Charlie looked at Cas with wide eyes, “I was drunk and he noticed of course, we had our coffees and then he walked me back to my dorm, and I well, I kissed him,” Cas was blushing now.

 

“Wow,” said Charlie,

 

“Yeah, I know, it didn’t feel good though, I mean, the kiss was nice but I didn’t like him in that way, so I felt like I was using him, I apologized and went back to my dorm,”

 

“Okay Cas, it all sucks but, where’s Dean in this story?”

 

“When I went back inside I felt so stupid for what I did, and I had a mix of feelings, I was a mess, I wanted to feel just one thing not a freaking spectrum of emotions… here’s were I did the stupid thing,”

 

“Wow, you took Molly, got drunk, kissed a guy just because and you hadn’t gotten to the stupid part yet?” asked Charlie. Cas shook his head.

 

“I found a razor in the bathroom, and I new that sometimes pain can help you focus in something, so yeah, all those stupid things I didn’t do when I was supposed to go to high school, kind of happened that night…”

 

“Oh my god, Cas,” said Charlie in a whisper,

 

“I was about to do it, I wasn’t planning on killing myself you know, just, a few cuts, to feel something, but then Dean walked in and found me. He stopped me, and we cried a lot, I threw up a lot too, he didn’t say anything that night, but next week, when I grabbed a beer from the fridge, he lost it, he yelled at me and we had a big fight because he thought I had a problem with drugs, he was scared and it was all my fault, I know it now, but back then we both got upset and said stupid things, I thought I was going to lose my best friend,”

 

“How did you fix it?” asked Charlie,

 

“One day I stood up, grabbed all my pills, even the ones for headaches and flushed them down the toilet, he was astonished, I told him that if it was so important to him, I wouldn’t even touch a damn aspirin again, but that I didn’t want to lose his friendship,”

 

“Wow,”

 

“Yes, I mean after a year I had to go back to antidepressants and I still take my anxiety pills sometimes,”

 

“That’s why he makes that face every time you drink more than three beers,” said Charlie,

 

“Yes, that’s also the true reason to why I stopped drinking coffee, it reminds me of that guy,”

 

“Wow, and here I was thinking that you never had a rebel phase,” joked Charlie,

 

“I haven’t had my rebel phase yet, Charlie,” answered Cas with a smirk.

 

They kept eating in silence for a few minutes. Cas was glad that Charlie didn’t scold him about his past actions. After dessert Charlie suggested,

 

“You know, now that things have calmed down a little, you guys should talk, but like really talk, not yelling and not repressing shit; be honest,”

 

“You’re right, besides, Dean’s birthday is in two weeks, I don’t want him to be miserable in his birthday,”

 

“That’s the spirit Cas!” said Charlie.

 

* * *

 

When Cas arrived to the apartment, he could hear loud music coming from Dean’s room. He knocked on the door and waited for an answer, he almost opened the door, but he was afraid that maybe Dean was busy with Lisa and that was why he was playing loud music. He knocked again but after more silence he walked to his room.

 

When he opened his door Nikola Tesla was already waiting for him, the little dog had learnt to identify the noises that Dean and Cas made when they walked into the house, so he happily greeted his owner.

 

“Hello Nikola Tesla, it’s always nice to see you,” said Cas, he picked the puppy from the floor and kissed him on the head. He sat on the bed and picked a book from his bedside table. He was finishing the tenth chapter of his book when he heard a knock on his door,

 

“Cas? Are you home?” asked Dean,

 

“Yes,” answered Cas. Dean opened the door and walked in,

 

“Hi man, how long have you been here?” asked Dean,

 

“I arrived like half an hour ago, you seemed busy,” informed Cas.

 

“It’s alright man, you don’t have to let me know every time you come back, I’m not your mom,” said Dean with a sad smile. Cas placed the book on the table again and took a deep breath,

 

“Okay, we need to talk,”

 

“Okay,” said Dean, he sat on the bed next to Cas,

 

“Dean I know that we talked a few days ago and that we said that everything was fine, but it isn’t… things are getting weird between us and I don’t want it to happen again… I know we both said things but friendship is about being honest, I don’t regret what I said but I don’t want you to keep your distance with me because you think that your attitude upsets me, it is in your nature to help people and to take care of those whom you care about, I get it,"

 

“I’m sorry Cas, is just that, I don’t know how to act anymore, like you said, it is in my nature, I don’t know when I’m being a freaking mother hen or when I’m just being a nice friend,”

 

“I’ve got an idea,” said Cas, “we have to be honest from now on, if I feel that you’re treating me like I child, I’ll tell you, if you want your space or do something without me, you tell me, with time preferably,”

 

“I like that,”

 

“Okay, but no more awkwardness between us, please, I can’t handle it,” said Cas.

 

“Me neither, this is killing me man, I’m so used to having you by my side that when we fight, I feel like it’s the first day of school and I don’t know anyone, all alone and awkward,” said Dean,

 

“Aww Dean, you’re so sweet,” joked Cas,

 

“Shut up man,” answered Dean blushing. They kept joking and talking until midnight, both glad that they were willing to do something to fix that little bump on their friendship.

 

* * *

 

 

Charlie and Cas spent the next few days planning everything for Dean’s birthday party. This time they made sure of only inviting their closest friends. Bobby offered his house to have the party there.

 

Charlie was driving Cas back to the apartment,

 

“So, what about a ‘star wars’ cake?” asked Charlie,

 

“ A ‘millennium Falcon’ decorated with fondant!” said Cas, “I’m texting Gabe right now,” Cas grabbed his phone and texted his brother with the idea for the cake. Gabe agreed to do it with one condition: Cas would have to help him.

 

“Okay,” answered Charlie, oh, by the way Mister ‘perfect presents’, what are you giving him?”

 

“I ordered something online, I’m keeping it a secret but I can tell you this, it’s Doctor Who related,” answered Cas.

 

“I bet it’s probably the real TARDIS with Matt Smith inside,” said Charlie,

 

“No, they didn’t have it, I have to settle for something more realistic,” said Cas.  

 

Charlie parked outside Cas’ building and waited for him to get out of the car,

 

“Thanks Charlie, see you tomorrow,” said Cas. Charlie waved goodbye and Cas waited until she turned around on the corner to go to his apartment.

 

* * *

 

It was a little early, Dean was working late that day so Cas decided to cook something nice for him; he was taking a pie out of the oven when someone knocked on the door. When he opened he was shocked to find Lisa there,

 

“Hello Lisa,” said Cas nervously, “Dean isn’t home yet, he’s working late today,”

 

“I know, he told me,”

 

“Humm...  okay,”

 

“Cas, I want to talk to you, may I come in?” she asked,

 

“Oh, sure,” said Cas. She walked inside and sat on the couch. Cas sat on a beanbag in front of her, “okay,” answered Cas, he was freaking out in the inside, what the hell did she want?

 

“Okay, I’m going to be direct… Cas, I’ve been dating Dean since September, I really feel like our relationship could go somewhere but I also feel like he’s taking things a little slow because he has to worry about you all the time,” said Lisa. Cas looked at her with wide eyes.

 

“  I don’t understand, Dean knows perfectly that I can take care of myself, if he’s ‘taking things a little slow’ it is not because of me, we don’t even talk about your relationship,”

 

“I’m gonna put this in a way that even you can understand,” said Lisa. Cas directed a murderous glare at her, “I can see myself getting married to the guy, okay? He's handsome, smart and owns a freaking business, he’s the whole deal. The thing is, Castiel, what happens if we get married? Do we have to take you with us because Dean seems to be attached to you? Or even worst, do I have to wait until you decide to move on with your life or until you die just so i can get married to the guy?”

 

“Why don’t you tell this to Dean? I’m not your boyfriend,” asked Cas,

 

“It’s simple, if I tell him this I’m a freaking evil witch who wants to take him away from his best friend… that’s why you’re going to be the better guy here and move out of this apartment,”

 

“What?”

 

“Dean needs to get away from you, he needs to realize that not everything in this life revolves around your friendship, believe me, this shit that you have, it’s not healthy” She said with an evil grin,

 

“Are you crazy? Your insecurities aren’t my fault Lisa, I’m not leaving my apartment because you see me as a threat,”

 

“Oh Cas, I don’t see you as a threat, I’m not telling you to stop being friends with him, I’m telling you to stand aside, and let him be happy with me, we both know that you won’t do anything about your feelings, I don’t know why but if you wanted to do something you would have told him a long time ago, so think about this, you will never make him happy the way I can, I can give him a family, a normal happy life, kids… what do you have to offer to him?” she explained. Cas looked at her in shock, she knew about his feelings for Dean and she was right, she could make him happy in a way that Cas never would.

 

“I…” said Cas,

 

“Think about it Cas, I’m not telling you to move out tomorrow, but just think about it,” she said.

 

“No, I’ll do it, you’re right, he deserves to be happy and I’m just a burden, I just… let’s wait to his birthday okay? I’ll tell him after his birthday, I promise,” he said in surrender,

 

“Thank you Castiel, I know it seems hard but it’s the best for both of you, this will help you to really grow up, maybe one day we’ll be laughing of this,” said Lisa.

 

“I said that I would move out, I didn’t say that I would be your friend, you have what you wanted, now please leave before Dean comes home,” Said Cas with husky voice, he stood up and opened the door for Lisa.

 

“Okay, I get it, thanks though,” she said walking out of the apartment,

 

“Goodnight Lisa,” answered Cas and then he closed the door. 

 

* * *

 

Dean opened the door to the apartment an hour later; a delicious smell coming from the kitchen immediately caught his attention,

 

“It smells amazing, you cooking Cas?” he asked walking to the kitchen,

 

“I hope that you’re hungry I made fettuccine Alfredo and Parmesan chicken,” said Cas,

 

“This is awesome Cas, I’m starving, thanks,” Dean walked to the sink and washed his hands, Cas placed a plate on the table for his friend. When Dean sat at the table he noticed that Cas looked like he had been crying,

 

“Cas, you okay man?” he asked,

 

“Yes, I just chopped a lot of onions,” he answered,

 

“Oh, I’m sorry,”

 

“It’s fine, just eat all your food and my suffering will be worth it,” joked Cas. Dean smiled and tasted his food; the sound that came out of his mouth was pornographic.

 

“Do you like it?” asked Cas,

 

“Man, this is awesome, I could eat this everyday,” said Dean, he kept eating his dinner with gusto.

 

“I also baked a pecan pie,” said Cas. Dean placed his fork on the table and looked at his friend,

 

“Okay, did someone die?” asked Dean,

 

“No, why?” asked Cas,

 

“What’s with the special treatment?” asked Dean,

 

“Okay, you got me, I want your birthday week to be great,” lied Cas,

 

“Well man, just with this food and the pie, I don’t give a damn what happens for the rest of the week to be honest,” said Dean with a smile. Cas sat in front of his friend and grabbed a slice of pie for himself, he had already eaten dinner with Charlie, but the pie smelled incredibly good.

 

After dinner, they took Nikola Tesla to the park, it was a little late and cold outside but Dean was in a good mood and Cas wanted to enjoy his last days living with Dean.

 

* * *

 

Cas spent the next days helping Charlie with the stuff for the party, trying to spend time with Dean and trying to find a new place to live in.

 

 _‘Maybe I could move back to Dad’s, or get a place with Gabriel,'_ he thought.

 

A buzzing next to him distracted him from his thoughts; he picked up his phone and saw a text message from Dean,

 

**Hey they’re showing the godfather at the movies tonight,**

**U in? Ask Charlie too.**

 

Cas smiled and turned towards Charlie’s desk. Charlie was staring at her computer with extreme concentration,

 

“Charlie?” asked Cas,

 

“Wait a minute Cas, there’s something wrong in this code and I can’t find it,” answered Charlie without taking her eyes from the screen. After a minute she smiled and typed pretty fast on her keyboard,

 

“Finally, I had been staring at this for like ten minutes,” she said with joy, “Right, what is it Cas?” she asked.

 

“Oh, Dean has tickets for a godfather screening tonight, do you want to join us?” said Cas.

 

“Of course man, that’s what I call a perfect Friday night,” she answered,

 

“Great, I’ll let him now,” said Cas.

 

* * *

 

Charlie and Cas bought pizza and met with Dean at the apartment.

 

“Hey guys!” said Dean when they walked in,

 

“Hello Dean, we bought pizza,” said Cas,

 

“Awesome,”

 

“Hi Dean,” said Charlie,

 

“Hi Red, ready for some Michael Corleone?” asked Dean with a smile,

 

“Dude, he’s not my type but the guy knows his business, I love those movies!” She answered.

 

They sat at the table and shared the pizza.

 

“So, Charlie, I’ve been meaning to ask, what happened with the girl you met at Gabe’s party?” asked Dean after a few minutes,

 

“They had sex,” said Cas.

 

“Yeah, I know that Cas”, said Dean rolling his eyes, “I mean are you still seeing her?”

 

“Not really, it was just a one night stand Dean,” said Charlie,

 

“She seemed nice,” said Dean.

 

“Well, did I mention that she barely speaks English? She was here with a cousin or something, does ‘prima’ mean cousin?” asked Charlie.

 

“Yes, that’s cousin in Spanish,” answered Cas.

 

“Well, my Spanish isn’t great but for what I understood she was visiting a cousin and they both were at the party. She’s from Colombia, she’s probably back in her country already,” explained Charlie.

 

“So you slept with a perfect stranger that didn’t even speak your same language, how did you managed to convince her?” asked Dean surprised.

 

“First of all, I didn’t convince her of anything, she was giving me the look from the distance, I got closer, we kinda talked, there’s this app called Google translator Dean, and then I don’t know, one thing led to another and next thing I know I’m spending an awesome night with a pretty hot latina,” explained Charlie.

 

“Wow,” said Dean.

 

They changed the subject and told Dean about the project they had just finished at Kraken, a webpage for a music school. Dean didn’t understand about computer codes but he was fascinated to see his friends talking about it like it was the most normal and easiest thing in the world. After a while Dean had to interrupt his friends,

 

“Okay geeks, this a pretty interesting theme, but we gotta leave now if we want to be on time for the movie,”

 

“You’re calling us geeks but you’re the one who sleeps hugging a Chewbacca plushie,” said Charlie with a smile.

 

“You got a point there Red, sorry,” said Dean blushing, “ now, c’mon lets go, ” They stood up, grabbed their jackets and left the apartment.

 

* * *

 

When the movie was over they drove back to the apartment, Charlie sitting on the backseat of the impala,

 

“What do you have there?” asked Dean, Charlie was reading a piece of paper,

 

“Some coupons, they gave ‘em to me when I bought my icee at the movies,” explained Charlie.

 

“Anything good?” asked Dean,

 

“What’s the ‘Sertoma Butterfly House & Marine Cove’?” she said,

 

“Oh, that place is awesome, they have Butterflies from all over the world and there’s also a huge aquarium,” answered Dean with excitement,

 

“You can even touch some stingrays and sharks, it’s disgusting but amazing at the same time,” added Castiel,

 

“Well this coupon is a 2x1 admission, ” said Charlie,

 

“Wanna go tomorrow?” asked Dean; Charlie and Cas looked at him in surprise,

 

“What?” he asked, “I don’t want to spend the Saturday before my birthday alone at the apartment eating cereal from the box and watching Netflix,”

 

“It is nice to know that your Saturdays are so productive Dean,” joked Cas,

 

“ Oh shut up, I work a lot during the week, I deserve some peace, anyway, that’s not the point, wanna go to the Butterfly House or not?” he asked again,

 

“Sure, at what time are you picking me up? It says in here that the place opens at 10 am,” said Charlie with a smile,

 

“Okay, tell you what? I’ll pick you up at 10, we’ll have some nice breakfast and then we head to the Butterfly house,” said Dean,

 

“Sounds like a plan,” answered Charlie,

 

“I would complain, but I’m actually looking forward to decorating the cake,"

 

“We can meet for dinner Cas; The mall is really close to the Butterfly house, Charlie and I could go to the mall after the butterflies and you can call us when you’re ready, we’ll pick you up and then you guys buy me dinner,” said Dean,

 

“Okay, I like how you think,” answered Cas with a grin, “is it okay if I tell Gabriel?” asked Cas,

 

“Of course man,” said Dean.

 

They parked outside Cas and Dean’s building and Charlie climbed in her car,

 

“Better go to bed early then, we have a big day tomorrow, see you guys,” she said. They waved her goodbye and then walked inside the building.

* * *

 

Cas was sound asleep; he was having a weird dream in which he needed to warn Michael Corleone about something, he was trying to find the guy but he couldn’t,

 

“Cas, Castiel,” came a voice from afar; he turned around but he didn’t see anyone.

 

“Hey, Cas… bro, wake up,” he heard the voice calling again. Someone started to shake him a little hard and then he opened his eyes. Right there, in front of him was his brother Gabriel; Gabe was shaking Cas by the shoulders trying to wake him up,

 

“WHAT THE FUCK GABRIEL?” Yelled Cas,

 

“Oh great, you’re finally up, why were you calling our brother in your sleep?” asked Gabe,

 

“What?” asked Cas a little confused, “oh, no I was looking for Michael Corleone I needed to tell him something,”

 

“Okay, you’re weird,” said Gabriel sitting next to Cas on the bed.  Cas just turned around and covered his head with a pillow.

 

“Go away,” he said,

 

“No man, c’mon we have a cake to decorate, remember?” said Gabriel. Cas didn’t answer. “Where’s Deannie by the way? I thought he would be cuddling with you at this time of the day,” he asked.

 

“I don’t know Gabriel, please let me sleep,” Castiel complained.

 

“Okay, I’ll go make you some nice black tea, I’ll call you when it’s ready,” said Gabriel in defeat. Cas didn’t answer; he just rolled between the sheets.

 

When Gabe walked into the kitchen he found Dean turning on the coffeemaker,

 

“Good morning Dean-0,” said Gabriel,

 

“Jesus, fuck!” said Dean out loud, “What the fuck are you doing here man? You scared the crap out of me!”

 

“Sorry I thought you heard me,” answered Gabe.

 

“What are you doing here anyway?” asked Dean,

 

“Oh, dad’s out of town again so I figured I could take Cassie for some breakfast before we head to the bakery,” answered Gabriel.

 

“Good luck waking him up,” said Dean with a smile, “well I’m gonna get ready for the day, see ya Gabe,” he walked out of the kitchen, on his way to the bathroom he knocked on Cas’s door.

 

“C’mon Cas, Gabe’s waiting four ya,” he said,

 

“Jesus, you two are so annoying, I’m coming,” he announced. Dean laughed and walked into the bathroom.

* * *

 

20 minutes later, when Dean walked into the kitchen wearing a gray Henley and old faded jeans, Cas and Gabriel were drinking tea and talking at the table.

 

“C’mon Cassie, the bathroom is finally free, go take a shower while I look for places to have breakfast,” said Gabriel grabbing his phone. Cas finished his tea and walked out of the kitchen.

 

“Hey Gabe, did Cas tell you about our plans for tonight?” asked Dean,

 

“Dude, what happens between you and my brother is not of my business,” answered Gabriel with a grin. Dean grabbed a cookie from the table and threw it at Gabe’s face.

 

“I’m being serious here Gabriel,” said Dean,

 

“Okay, I’m sorry… yes he told me, we’re having dinner with you and my favorite redhead,” answered Gabriel. Dean walked to the coffeemaker and grabbed a mug from the pantry.

 

“Yep, this weekend is gonna be awesome,” said Dean. He sat in front of Gabe at the table and took a sip from his drink. 

 

* * *

 

Cas and Gabe were sharing a table at ‘Donna’s kitchen,’ a restaurant near Gabe’s bakery.

 

“I hadn’t seen this place before,” admitted Cas,

 

“It’s kinda new, I’ve heard great comments about their breakfasts, it has great reviews on Yelp,”

 

“Well, the place smells amazing, I’m pretty sure the food will be great too,” answered Cas.

 

They had left the apartment half an hour ago; Cas asked Dean to join them but Dean insisted that Saturday was Gabriel’s day and he left to pick up Charlie. Gabriel was very thankful for that, Dean was his friend and he loved spending time with him, but the guy was right, Saturdays were ‘Novak’s days’.

 

A nice old lady wearing big glasses approached the table with a tray,

 

“Waffles and chicken for you,” said the lady placing a plate in front of Gabriel, “and lumberjack special for you, honey,” she said placing the plate in front of Cas.

 

“Thanks,” said both brothers at the same time,

 

“You’re welcome kids, enjoy,” she said with a smile.

 

Both started to eat as soon as the waitress left, the food was delicious. Gabe started to talk about his week and then Cas told him about his (minus the ‘Lisa asked me to move out’ part).

* * *

 

Charlie and Dean ended up at a McDonald’s a few blocks from Charlie’s place.

 

“Man, it’s been ages since I had one of these,” said Charlie smiling at the ‘bacon and eggs McMuffin’ in front of her.

 

“McDonald’s breakfasts is one of my guilty pleasures, Cas hates ‘em though,”

 

“Really, why?” asked Charlie,

 

“This isn’t quality food Dean, you can get a better burger at this small gourmet restaurant downtown,” answered Dean imitating his best friend’s voice,

 

“So basically, McDonald’s isn’t hipster enough,” joked Charlie,

 

“Yup,” answered Dean with a smile, "Gabriel has turned him into a monster when it comes to picking a place to eat,"

 

They kept talking and making plans for the day. Charlie was glad that she got to spend some time with Dean, he was such a nice guy and they were becoming good friends pretty fast.

* * *

 

Cas and Gabe walked into Gabe’s little bakery; it was a nice place that looked like a French café, it had mint walls, a wall with pictures of Gabe with different people, and a beautiful mural o a forest painted by Cas. A young brunette with glasses and a tall black guy with long dreadlocks were behind the counter placing cakes and cookies in boxes,

 

“Morning Gabe, hi Cas,” said the guy,

 

“Hi,” greeted the girl,

 

“Hello Travis, Maya, how are you?” answered Cas,

 

“Everything’s cool man, we just opened the store,” answered Travis,

 

“It’s weird seeing you here on a Saturday boss,” said Maya with a smile,

 

“Well, today I’m spending my ‘family time’ here, Cas and I are going to decorate a cake,”

 

“That sounds nice,” said the girl,

 

“So, we’ll be in the back, pretend we’re not here, just a normal Saturday morning,” said Gabe, “C’mon little brother, we have a lot to do,” Cas followed him to the kitchen,

 

“See you later guys,” he said.

* * *

 

 

“Oh my God! This place is amazing!” Said Charlie with a huge grin,

 

“Yeah, it’s awesome, especially if you consider that outside this place, winter is waiting for us,” said Dean. The place was an indoor tropical garden and they kept it at a temperature of 80-85 degrees during the whole year.

 

“I wanna live here,” declared Charlie; a beautiful blue butterfly landed on her arm, “What kind of butterfly is this?” she asked,

 

“I don’t know, a blue one?” said Dean,

 

“Dean, honey, it’s a good thing you’re pretty,” answered Charlie and after a few seconds both laughed like maniacs, the butterfly immediately flew away.

 

“Anyway,” said Charlie when she finally stopped laughing, ”do you come here a lot?”

 

“When we were kids Bobby used to bring us here all the time, Cas was obsessed with butterflies, I thought that petting little sharks in a pool was badass as fuck, Sammy just loves animals in general and Gabe loved the ice cream Bobby bought us every time on our way back home,” said Dean, “it’s been a while since my last visit though, I think maybe since September, it’s gonna sound stupid but I actually invited Lisa here for our second date but she refused because a place full of bugs didn’t seem interesting,”

 

“Hmm,” Charlie was trying really hard to keep her thoughts about Lisa to herself. They kept walking and observing the butterflies.

 

“You don’t like her, do you?” asked Dean.

 

“What?” asked Charlie; she was a little distracted so she wasn’t sure that she heard Dean’s question correctly.

 

“ You don’t like Lisa,” he affirmed this time.

 

“Don’t get mad, but no, I don’t like her,” she confessed.

 

“Why?” Asked Dean,

 

“Dean it doesn’t matter, she’s your girlfriend, not mine, if you like her that should be enough for you,” she answered,

 

“C’mon Red, I’m asking you as your friend,”

 

“And I’m keeping my mouth shut as your friend, let’s just don’t talk about it okay? I already told you, she’s your girlfriend, you must like something about her if you are still together, so as long as you like her, and you’re happy, my opinion about her doesn’t matter,” she said.

 

“You’re a good friend, Red,” said Dean, “I mean, I know she’s not perfect, but you know, I think this relationship is going somewhere,”

 

“Like getting married somewhere?” asked Charlie, she was taking a picture of a beautiful butterfly with black and orange wings.

 

“Nah, that’s too soon, I mean I’m still young, I just started my business, I want to travel, live my life you know? I don’t want to be an old man frustrated with life because I never got to do what I wanted,”

 

“So what do you mean with ‘this relationship is going somewhere’?” she asked,

 

“I don’t know, this is like the first real, lasting relationship I’ve ever had, I think it’s helping me to understand a lot of things and to grow up,”

 

“But you see yourself marrying her someday,” Dean stopped walking and looked at Charlie with confusion in his eyes,

 

“I really don’t know, at least not now, it’s pretty soon to tell, I’m trying to take things slow,” he answered. Charlie got closer to Dean and placed a hand on his shoulder,

 

“That’s great Dean, you should never rush stuff when it comes to relationships, it can screw things up,” she said, 

 

“I like talking to you about this stuff Red,” confessed Dean with a smile, she hugged Charlie and she immediately returned the hug with a smile.

* * *

 

 

Cas was cutting the cake like the ‘millennium falcon’ in total concentration,

 

“What do you think?” he asked when he finally finished his job,

 

“I like it,” said Gabriel, “you sure you don’t want to stay and work with me forever,”

 

“That doesn’t sound creepy at all,” said Cas.

 

“You’re right,” said Gabriel laughing, he got closer to the cake to check it with detail, “well, it’s definitely shaped as the ‘millennium falcon’, I think we can start with the fondant,” he turned around and grabbed a ball of light gray fondant, “this is pretty simple actually, I just have to roll it like a pie crust and then wrap the cake, but I need you to work on the little details of the ship, this stuff is like play-doh, so c’mon be creative and lets make the best freaking ‘millennium falcon’ cake ever,” said Gabe with enthusiasm.

 

Cas was loving his assignment so far, spending the day playing with play-doh, now that was a perfect Saturday.

* * *

 

“I can’t believe I freaking touched a shark,” said Charlie staring at her hand, they were walking out of the section with the ‘touch pool’.

 

“Charlie, those were little lame sharks,” said Dean rolling his eyes.

 

“I don’t care, they’re sharks, they could have eaten my finger,” said Charlie with pride.

 

“They’re called Bamboo sharks, Red,” said Dean with a smile,

 

“One day I’m gonna tell my grand kids about the day her grandma Charlie touched a shark,” she said with excitement,

 

“It was scary, I have to admit it… you were scaring the five year olds next to us with your shrieks,” Dean was laughing now,

 

“Oh, shut up,” said Charlie, she pushed Dean playfully and they kept walking.

 

“C’mon, lets go to the marine cove, you need something to calm you after this incredible rush of adrenaline,” joked Dean,

 

“Keep laughing Winchester, I’m gonna find out what scares you the most and I’m gonna buy it,” she said pretty serious.

 

“Are you gonna buy a plane?” asked Dean,

 

“Are you scared of planes? Jesus Dean, that’s lame,” she said,

 

“Well not planes, but flying,” confessed Dean,

 

“So how are you gonna travel and see the world?” she asked,

 

“I can drive baby everywhere,” asked Dean with a grin,

 

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure you can’t drive Baby to Australia, so good luck with that,” said Charlie, she walked into the marine cove and left Dean alone with his thoughts, a few seconds later she could hear from the distance someone yelling, “Damn it, Charlie!” and she just smiled and kept walking.

* * *

 

“Okay, I think I have all the parts ready,” said Cas placing his tools on the table.

 

“Wow, these look great,” said Gabriel looking at the little pieces that his brother had created to decorate the cake,

 

“Thank you,” answered Cas, his stomach growled a few moments later.

 

“You hungry little brother?” asked Gabriel with a smile,

 

“I didn’t notice before, but yes, I could eat,” said Cas.

 

“Okay, lets leave this here for a while and go get something to eat, maybe some salads so we don’t ruin our appetite for our dinner with Charlie and Dean?” said Gabe,

 

“Sounds great actually,” replied Cas, he stood up and grabbed his coat.

 

“C’mon I’m pretty sure they also have salads at ‘Donna’s’,” said Gabriel rubbing his belly.

 

“If their salads are as good as their breakfast, I’m in,” answered Cas. They walked out of the kitchen and into the main area of the bakery, Taylor and Maya were chatting happily behind the counter.

 

“Hey guys,” said Gabe, “we’re going to grab something to eat, want anything?"

 

“No Gabe, we’re cool, we bought sushi from next door like an hour ago,” said Taylor,

 

“Thanks though,” said Maya,

 

“Okay, we’ll be right back, don’t touch anything in the kitchen okay?” answered Gabriel.

 

“Okay, don’t worry,” answered Taylor.

 

The brothers walked out of the bakery, it was pretty cold outside, they had forgotten about it in the warmth of the kitchen.

 

“Jesus, I hate this weather,” complaint Gabriel.

 

“I love it,” said Cas, “can we walk to the restaurant?”

 

“Bro, it’s freaking freezing out here,” said Gabe,

 

“Gabriel please, the place is two blocks away, it’s stupid to drive there,” answered Cas.

 

“Okay, you have a point, c’mon, lets go,” said Gabe in resignation.

 

* * *

 

Dean grabbed his jacket from the backseat of Baby and then closed the door.

“Okay, I’m ready,” he said. After a morning of adventure at the Butterfly house, they were finally at the mall. They were walking through the parking lot when they saw an old lady carrying a lot of shopping bags; they walked towards her and helped her with a few bags. The old lady smiled in gratitude and they followed her to her car,

 

“Thanks a lot, those are some heavy bags,” she said,

 

“It’s okay ma’am, no problem, really,” answered Dean. they reached the lady’s car and helped her place everything in the trunk.

 

“There you go, have a nice day,” said Charlie with a smile.

 

“Oh no, thank you honey, you and your boyfriend are so kind,” answered the lady, Dean opened his mouth to correct the lady but Charlie interrupted him,

 

“Fiancé, actually, he hasn’t bought me a ring though, we’re saving all our money for the baby,” said Charlie rubbing her belly,

 

“Oh, that’s so lovely, well congratulation young lady,” said the woman, “good luck with everything,” Dean and Charlie waved her goodbye and then walked towards the mall, when they saw the old lady leaving the parking lot, Charlie finally lost it, she had to lean on a car to avoid falling to the floor laughing.

 

“Dude, you lied to that poor lady,” said Dean laughing, though not as loud as Charlie,

 

“Man, your face, it was epic I wish I had a freaking camera,” she said,

 

“Well I wasn’t expecting that,” said Dean.

 

“That was the point, I gotta give it to you though, you didn’t break, I could never do that to Cas,” she said, she was controlling her laughter now.

 

“No way, the old lady would have run away thinking you were a pair of crazy psychos if you did that to Cas, like ‘Charlie, are you feeling well? Why are you lying? Are you hallucinating?’ and then you would be like ‘OMG Castiel, are you denying our love and our unborn child!’ and the poor lady would stare at you in shock,” said Dean.

 

“As cool as that scenario sounds, I would never do that to Cas,” said Charlie.

 

“Yeah, he’s too cool for that shit,” said Dean. They finally walked inside the mall,

 

“C’mon Winchester, lets get something to eat and then find nice outfits to wear tomorrow,” said Charlie.

* * *

 

“Best salad I’ve ever had,” said Gabriel walking into his bakery after lunch, there were a few clients, so they didn’t interrupt Taylor and Maya, they walked straight to the kitchen again.

 

“I know, it was great, we have to bring Sam to ‘Donna’s’ when he visits town next time,” said Cas,

 

“I should probably find out who’s that Donna girl, I wanna marry her,” said Gabriel helping Cas with his coat, he placed the coats over a table and walked towards the sink to wash his hands, Cas was already washing his.

 

“What about Kali?” asked Cas,

 

“I thought you were more observant kid, we’re no longer together,” answered Gabe.

 

“I am observant Gabriel, that’s why I know that you two always get back together when you break up,” answered Cas drying his hands.

 

“Well, not this time, we had a big fight a couple of days before Christmas and then well I was busy with Christmas so I forgot to call her, long story short, when I finally called her a few days later, she said that I lost my last chance because I didn’t call her right away, I mean I didn’t even know that I had a certain number of ‘chances’, I would’ve been more careful… but the thing is, that it didn’t hurt, you know? I didn’t feel like crap when we broke up, so that says a lot, I guess I didn’t love her as much as I thought,” said Gabriel.

They went back to the table with the cake and began to decorate it with the pieces that Castiel created,

 

“So, she wasn’t the love of your life then?” asked Cas after a while; Gabriel waited a few seconds, he placed a small piece over the cake and then answered to his brother,

 

“I don’t think that I believe in the concept of ‘A love of your life,’ you know? I think you get to love a lot of people during your life, they all become the loves of your life,”

 

“I get it,” said Cas, “but I mean, like THE LOVE, like, that ONE person,”

 

“That’s what I mean, look, I thought that Kali was the one, but she’s not anymore, she’s now one of the loves of my life, everybody gets to have a lot of those Cas, it’s like human nature,” answered Gabriel,

 

“Dad didn’t,” said Cas almost in a whisper,

 

“What?” asked Gabe,

 

“After mother left, he didn’t find another wife or girlfriend or anything like that, hence she was the love of his life,” explained Castiel,

 

“Cas, I don’t … look, I think that, for a long time, Dad believed that she was the one, but then when she left the first time he got to see the things from the outside, he realized that she wasn’t who he thought, and he also realized that he actually didn’t love her as much as he thought anymore, that’s why when she came back it didn’t work, because he didn’t love her anymore, hence she wasn’t the love of his life… she was one of the loves of his life,” said Gabriel. They kept decorating the cake while they talked; Cas had printed a pretty descriptive guide of every part of the ship so decorating the cake was turning out to be pretty easy.

 

“That happened to you?” Asked Castiel squinting his eyes,

 

“Kinda, I mean, yeah, after a few days without talking, when she broke up with me, it didn’t hurt, and then it hit me, I didn’t love her anymore,”

 

“So you’re saying that sometimes you need to step away and look from a different perspective to realize if you really love that person? If it’s really worth it?” asked Cas curiously,

 

“I mean, not if you’re happy, but if your relationship isn’t as great as it used to, maybe is a good thing, a good way to realize if that person is the one,” concluded Gabriel.

 

“You just admitted that there exist THE ONE,” said Cas with a smile,

 

“That’s why I hate having these kind of talks with you, you’re so fucking smart little brother,” said Gabriel, “okay, I’m admitting that there might be a ONE, Kali wasn’t,”

 

“Okay,” answered Castiel.

 

“What is it to you anyway? You don’t feel that way towards people,” asked Gabriel, now he was the one invaded with curiosity. Cas kept silent for a minute and then he replied,

 

“I just keep finding human behavior a fascinating theme, remember that my mind works in a different way than yours, it’s nice to know what’s the vision of a normal person like you,”

 

“Dude, you think I’m normal? You’re screwed,” answered Gabriel,

 

“Perhaps it wasn’t the best choice of words,” said Cas with a smile,

 

“It definitely wasn’t,” admitted Gabriel, “now, c’mon lets finish placing this little pieces so we can add the last details and finish on time for dinner,” Cas smiled and continued decorating the cake carefully.

* * *

 

Charlie was helping Dean to pick a new leather jacket; he had already bought a new ‘Led Zeppelin’ shirt and a beautiful green flannel with details in navy blue and yellow.

 

“I like that one,” said Charlie pointing at a black jacket that Dean was holding with his left hand,

 

“You sure?” he asked,

 

“Yeah man, it screams ‘rock’, you know? The other one screams ‘I’m a 50 year old man and I’m trying to look cool so I’ll buy a bike,” said Charlie with a serious expression,

 

“Okay, after that description then I’m definitely taking this one,” said Dean taking the one that Charlie had chosen. They walked towards the jeans section, because why the hell not? He was already buying the whole outfit for his party, _‘Jesus I’m like a little teenage girl sometimes’_ he thought. He tried a few ones but Charlie didn’t totally approved until he walked out of the changing room with a nice pair of black jeans that made his ass look great.

 

“Those are the ones, and if you can, walk to the rack and grab another 6 of those, in different colors if you want,” she declared,

 

“Okay?” asked Dean confused,

 

“Your ass looks great in those jeans Dean, like I wanna freaking spank you so bad right now,” joked Charlie, a lady next to her stood up and left looking at Charlie in horror. Dean blushed and walked back into the changing room.

 

After Dean picked up his outfit for his birthday, he paid and then helped Charlie to pick an outfit for herself. Dean found it kinda funny actually, he had gone with Lisa a couple of times to the mall and he had ended up tired and upset because it took her ages to pick clothes and try them on. With Charlie it was faster, first because they kept goofing around and second because Charlie wasn’t complicated when it came to choosing clothes.

 

“Okay, I want a nerdy shirt, a cute sweater and a new pair of boots, that’s it,” she said. They walked into a couple of stores and Charlie found a black shirt with the face of Chewbacca on it, “this is the one,” she said, she grabbed that one and then another with the face of Yoda. They walked into another store and she found a beautiful ‘TARDIS blue’ knitted sweater and she bought it right away. Finally she picked up a new pair of red wine Doctor Martens, and she was ready to go.

 

“Wow, that was fast,” declared Dean,

 

“I don’t like to spend a lot of time buying clothes, I mean, I like clothes but it annoys me after a while to go store after store looking for something to wear,”

 

“Amen sister,” said Dean. Once they had their outfits for the next day, they walked into a comic book store and spent an hour looking around and basically just relaxing; Dean was having an awesome Saturday; Charlie was great company.

* * *

 

“Now place that little thingy on top of the cake and we’re done,” said Gabriel,

 

“It’s called a dish,” answered Cas rolling his eyes,

 

“Yes, whatever Spock, just finish the damn thing,” said Gabriel,

 

“Spock is from Star Trek, this is Star Wars,” said Cas.

 

“Sorry Cassie, you know that the only Sci-fi shit that I like is Doctor Who… c’mon, place the damn dish on the ship so we can call Dean and Charlie and get dinner,” said Gabriel starting to sound a little impatient. Cas finished decorating the cake and Gabriel called Dean, it turned out it was perfect timing, Dean and Charlie were just leaving the Comics store and on their way to the car.

 

“Okay, they’ll be here soon, let me call Taylor so he can help us place this thing in the truck before he leaves,” Said Gabe, he walked out of the kitchen and then came back with Taylor walking behind him.

 

Behind the kitchen, they had a little garage with enough room for two trucks. The trucks were especially designed to transport the cakes; the back part functioned as a fridge, keeping the cakes at the perfect temperature.

 

Cas and Taylor carried the cake to the truck while Gabe opened the doors for them,

 

“Okay, everything in place, I’ll take this beauty to Bobby’s tomorrow morning,” informed Gabriel

 

“It looks great guys,” said Taylor,

 

“Thank you Taylor,” answered Cas.

 

“Well if you don’t need me for anything else, I’m gonna leave now, I have a date with my girl tonight,” he said,

 

“Thanks for everything buddy, I left your check over my desk, see you on Monday,” said Gabe,

 

“Thanks man, see ya!” said Taylor, he turned around and walked towards Gabe’s little office (between the kitchen and the main room).

 

“C’mon Cas, we should probably wash our hands and faces, we look like we rolled in flour,” declared Gabe. They walked towards the sink and spent a few minutes getting ready for dinner.

* * *

 

Dean parked outside Gabe’s bakery and the Novak brothers walked out of the store a few seconds later, Gabe locked the door behind him and then they hurried inside the car.

 

“Hi guys, ready to get dinner?” asked Gabriel, Castiel sat next to him on the backseat of the impala.

 

“Hell yeah,” answered Dean,

 

“Okay then, where to?” asked Gabe.

 

“Lets avoid this discussion man, we’re all gonna say the name of a bunch of places, you’re gonna say that they all suck and then you’re gonna talk about this awesome hipster place you know, and Cas is gonna say that it sounds nice and I’m gonna complain but then the food will be awesome and I’m gonna love the place, so where to, Gabe?” said Dean.

 

“Dean, you’re hurting my feelings, but since you insist, I gotta say… I know this place where they cook the best gourmet burgers ever, just drive, I’ll guide you man,” said Gabe with a smile, Dean rolled his eyes and followed Gabriel’s instructions.

 

Gabriel was right, the food was great, Dean was really considering ordering a second burger but then they told him that they had pecan pie and he opted for the dessert instead. They all talked about their days during dinner, Gabriel lost it when Charlie told them about the old lady on the parking lot. Charlie showed them the pictures she took at the Butterfly house and Cas was able to identify almost all of the butterflies. The Novaks told them about the cake, they didn’t say that it was the ‘millennium falcon’, but Dean knew it was sci-fi related. By the end of the night their bellies were full of delicious food and Dean was pretty sure that his cake was either a Dalek or the enterprise.

They dropped Gabe back at his bakery after dinner, they said their goodbyes and then they drove Charlie to her place, she hugged them both before walking to her building. After their long day, Dean and Cas were pretty happy to be back in their apartment. _‘I’m going to miss this place’_ thought Castiel.

 

“I’m gonna hit the hay Cas,” said Dean after brushing his teeth.

 

“Me too,” answered Cas, he walked into the bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush. Dean was about to open his door but then he stopped, he wanted to cuddle with Cas tonight, because it was his damn birthday and his damn conversation with Charlie about future and relationships had made him think a lot of stuff about Castiel.

 

“Hey Cas, weird birthday petition but, I don’t feel like starting my birthday alone, can I sleep in your room tonight?” asked Dean. Cas placed his toothbrush back in his place and walked out of the bathroom,

 

“Of course Dean,” answered Cas. His days sharing an apartment with Dean were counted, he might as well spend them as happy as he could.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean climbed into bed next to Cas after a few minutes; Cas was already there buried under the covers and hugging Nik.

 

“Good night Cas, Good night Nik,” said Dean.

 

“Good night Dean, happy birthday,” answered Cas.

 

They fell asleep next to each other, but in the morning when they woke up they were cuddling.

After breakfast in bed, skyping with Sam for more than an hour, taking Nikola Tesla for a walk and talking to Bobby on the phone, Dean finally began to get ready. Cas had already taken a shower and he was currently wearing only a pair of boxer briefs, standing in front of his closet and staring at it as if it contained the secrets of the universe. Dean opened the door of Cas’s room,

“Hey Cas, Bobby says everything’s ready, I’ll take a quick shower,” said Dean, he was distracted answering a text message, when he lifted his head he saw Cas’s perfect body, the messy sex hair and that ass with the black underwear and… _‘Get it together Winchester, Jesus’._

 

“Okay Dean,” answered Cas. Dean walked out of the room and straight to the bathroom and if his shower wasn’t as quick as he first planned, well that was totally Castiel’s fault.

* * *

 

Cas finally picked a gray dress shirt, black skinny jeans and his Doctor Martens; he added a military green bowtie and a jacket on the same color.

 

He walked out of his room and knocked on Dean’s door,

 

“Dean, I’m ready, I’ll go downstairs to place your present in the trunk of your car, I’ll be right back,” he said,

 

“Okay Cas, I’m almost done too,” answered Dean from the other side of the door. Cas walked back to his room and grabbed a huge box from his closet; he walked out of the apartment pretty fast. The gift was big but not as big at the impala’s truck. He placed the present there carefully and walked back to the apartment, when he got in, Dean was sitting on the couch tying his shoelaces.

 

“I’m ready Cas, we can go now,” he said. Dean stood up and Cas forgot how to breathe for a minute; the man looked gorgeous; Dean turned around to pick his keys and Cas almost lost it when he saw the way his ass looked in those jeans, he was pretty sure that Charlie had picked those pants.

 

“Nice outfit,” said Cas trying not to blush,

 

“Thanks, Charlie helped me,” answered Dean actually blushing a little,

 

“I like yours too, that jacket new?” asked Dean, "yeah I ordered it online, with the bowtie,” said Cas,

 

“Well it looks great, c’mon I don’t want to be late to my birthday party,” said Dean with a smile.

 

Cas tied the leash on Nik’s collar and they walked out of the apartment.

* * *

 

When they arrived at Bobby’s, Charlie and Bobby were already setting up the grill on the backyard to get started with the barbeque, it wasn’t as cold as the day before outside, but it was still cold.

 

“Hello guys,” said Bobby, he walked towards Dean and gave him a huge hug,

 

“Happy Birthday Son,” said Bobby,

 

“Thanks Bobby,” said Dean with a smile. After Bobby, it was Charlie’s turn to hug him,

 

“Happy birthday Winchester,” said Charlie.

 

“Thanks Red,” Dean walked towards a table next to the grill,

 

“So, what can I help you with?” he asked,

 

“Nothing, it’s your damn birthday son, go inside and watch some TV or something, we’ll handle this,” said Bobby; Dean smiled and grabbed a beer from the cooler,

 

“Okay, call me if you need anything though, you coming Cas?”

 

“No, I’ll help Bobby and Charlie, sorry,” answered Cas, he handed his dog to Dean.

 

“I don’t want to be all by myself inside... I’ll just sit here, is that okay?” asked Dean grabbing a chair,

 

“Okay,” said Bobby, Charlie and Cas helped him to prepare the food. After a while the guys from Kraken arrived, then Missouri and then Gabriel. They all had a great time; Lisa arrived fifteen minutes before the food was ready, she looked really happy (only Cas knew why).

 

Benny and Cas placed a few tables on a row so everyone could eat together. Bobby, Charlie and Cas had prepared BBQ ribs, Buffalo Chicken and roasted corn. They ate and had a great time, Dean sat between Lisa and Cas (oh, the irony), and after food Benny and Ash helped Gabe to get the cake out of the truck.

 

Dean looked like a kid on Christmas when he saw his cake; it looked amazing. The group clapped at Gabe and Cas for their creation. Dean blew his candles and made a wish, _‘I wish that my family is always well and happy’,_ and then Gabriel served the cake, which of course was also delicious. While they were eating cake, they decided that Dean should open his presents next; the guys at Kraken had gotten together and bought him a brand new 27” flat screen; Dean couldn’t stop smiling after that. Missouri got him a pretty awesome decorative mask that she had gotten during her last trip to New Orleans, “this is awesome,” he said wen he saw the mask inside the box, “I’m so gonna hang this on my wall”.

Bobby got him a couple of video games (Cas and Charlie helped him to pick them). Charlie got him a new pair of skinny jeans (just like the ones he was wearing but blue ones) and Dean couldn’t stop laughing, “When did you?” he asked, “when you went back to the changing room,” she said; Dean nodded and returned to his presents, it turned out that inside Charlie’s box, there was also a Yoda plushie and a framed picture of him, Cas and Charlie during Christmas; Dean smiled and hugged her friend, “thanks Red, you’re awesome.”

Lisa gave him a box set of Stanley Kubrick’s movies and he loved it to, “Thanks Lis, Kubrick is one of my favorites,” he said, “I know honey,” answered Lisa; he gave her a quick kiss and then turned his attention towards Cas, “okay, where is it?” he asked, Cas stood up,

“Wait here, I’ll be right back,” he said, he basically ran to the front yard and then to Dean’s car, a minute later he returned carrying a big box, Nikola Tesla barked when he saw him walking back, even the dog seemed to be exited with the present.

“Okay, here it is,” said Cas, “I hope you like it,” he placed the box on the table, right in front of Dean; Dean ripped a part of the wrapping and as soon as he discovered what it was he stood up and hugged his best friend tightly, after a few seconds he reacted, he hadn’t asked Cas if he could hug him, he was about to give a step back but then Cas hugged him back.

 

“Thanks a lot Cas, it’s freaking awesome,” he whispered at Cas’s ear.

 

“You’re my best friend Dean, don’t forget it,” answered Cas in a whisper too. Everybody was silent observing the intimate moment, but Lisa decided it was enough and she interrupted,

 

“What is it then?” she asked. Dean let go of Cas and ripped the rest of the wrapping, revealing a huge box set of every season of the new era of Doctor Who.

 

“Doctor Who blu-rays? Isn’t that show on Netflix?” asked Lisa,

 

“Dude,” said Charlie in shock, she turned her attention to Cas, “ A freaking special edition box set of every season of ‘New Who,’ with a freaking Sonic Screwdriver that works as a universal remote,"

 

“Yes,” Said Cas with a smile, “Eleventh’s sonic to be precise, that’s Dean’s favorite Doctor,” Dean grabbed the box and began to kiss it; most of the guys in there were a bunch of geeks, so they were all amazed by the gift, even Bobby and Missouri were curious. Dean decided that he would wait and open the box set at home; the guys helped him to place his presents in his car. While they were doing that, Lisa pulled Cas by the arm and walked him into the house,

 

“That was way too much Cas,” said Lisa clearly upset,

 

“Just a nice goodbye present,” said Cas,

 

“When are you telling him?” she asked, “tomorrow?”

 

“I can’t do it on the day after his birthday, and it’s a Monday, I don’t want to give him another reason to hate Mondays… I’ve already planed it, I’m telling him on Thursday, I finish a project that day, so I can use Friday to move out my stuff,” said Cas trying to hide his sadness.

 

“Okay, thanks Castiel, you’re giving him a chance to have a normal life, don’t forget it,” she said with a fake sweet voice.

 

“Yeah,” said Cas, he walked out of the room and returned to the party.

* * *

 

The party didn’t end too late because next day everybody had work, but they all had a great time. Dean and Cas carried al the presents to the apartment, and they wanted to take Nik for a walk at the park, but he was tired from running on Bobby’s yard all Day.

They put on their pajamas and Dean finally opened his box set, he played with his sonic screwdriver for a while and then they watched ‘a clockwork orange’; By the time the movie ended Dean was sound asleep with his head resting on Cas’s lap; Castiel passed a hand through his friend’s hair, and after a sigh he thought, _‘I’m going to miss this, so much’._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it, i was gonna add the part when Cas talks to Dean and tells him his plans but i wanted to give you a little rest, next chapter will have that though, be prepared. I don't know when i will have it though, i'll try to hurry but i'm really busy right now, i mean i actually had to finish this chapter at freaking 3:30 in the morning, it was the only free time i had. 
> 
> Random fact, the Sertoma butterfly house and marine cove is actually a real place in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, i've never been there, in fact, i've only been to america like four times, but well, I used the help of my friend google to investigate this stuff, there's also a mall close to that place, so that was actually accurate in my story too. I don't know when the butterfly house was founded though, but lets pretend that it's been there since the guys were just kids.
> 
> _____
> 
> Random fact 2: i was supposed to upload this yesterday but i kept having problems with AO3's text editor, it was a mess so i had to use HTML to fix this shit, since it was already 4:00 in the morning at that point, I decided to give up and try it again today, it still didn't work but at least i wasn't falling asleep now and my brain was working better. Have a nice weekend guys! :D


	18. we’re not roomies anymore...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas spends a stressful week trying to think what is he going to tell Dean, eventually the day comes and he needs to tell Dean that he wants to move out of the apartment. 
> 
> A lot of angst, Cas has a mayor meltdown, Dean is the king of 'fake it till you make it', Charlie, Gabe and Bobby are great as always...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back! I felt like it took ages to write this chapter, it was kinda emotionally tiring to describe Castiel's stress and the meltdown and all that stuff... but well, it's finally done; i'm so so sorry for the angst, it's not going to end soon, the guys are about to go into a transformation (specially Cas), they're going to grow up a lot, so yeah, there's going to be angst but also a lot of character development. 
> 
> Thanks a lot for reading, i love you all, i was hoping to upload this on time for Autism Awareness Day but i had a long day and i just couldn't find the time to finish this, it's already 2:40 am in here and i just finished writing this chapter. I apologize for any mistake, remember that english isn't my first language and that i'm also a little sleep deprived. 
> 
> I have to mention, Cas has a huge meltdown in this chapter, so if you consider it a trigger, you can always skip this and ask me what happened in the chapter without the descriptive part of the meltdown. Also as Cas says it in this chapter, not every person with Asperger's is the same and all the symptoms can vary from one person to another.

* * *

 

Monday passed, both incredibly fast and stupidly slow at the same time. Had it been a normal day, Cas probably would have found it interesting and dedicated a big part of his morning to think about the theory of relativity; This wasn’t a normal day though, this was very much likely his last Monday living with Dean, which meant that instead of clouding his head with thoughts about Albert Einstein and Doctor Who, he could only thing about one thing: ‘How am I going to tell Dean?’ The first idea he had was actually pretty stupid, but he was desperate, it was simple, he could pretend that he wasn’t mentally stable and that he had to go back to living with his family, this idea of course would allow him to leave the apartment without telling the truth to Dean, but it would also probably worry everyone else, not to mention that Chuck would go back to treating him like a child, so it was a big no.

 

After leaving his first idea as a last option, he went back to thinking… _‘It’s pretty simple Castiel, say the truth, that’s always the best option,_ ’ he thought, then he hit his head against his desk and thought _‘right, Dean I’m madly in love with you but I know that you would never feel that way about me, plus it doesn’t matter because I don’t want to be a burden, I’m broken, so your witch of a girlfriend and I, well mostly her, decided that I need to step out in order to give you a chance to have a normal happy life with her,’_ he hit his head against his desk once again and laughed nervously,

 

“It sounds perfect,” he said,

 

“What?” asked Ash from his desk, he was typing something on his computer. Cas turned his head to his side and opened his eyes; he didn’t noticed when Ash arrived at the studio.

 

“Nothing,” said Cas, “I was just having a fight with myself,” he confessed,

 

“Oh, I hate those… who’s winning?” asked Ash still paying attention to his work,

 

“What do you mean?” asked Cas confused,

 

“Well in this big internal fight between the Cas that wants to do something and the Cas who doesn’t, who’s winning?” Cas stared at his friend for a few seconds, Ash was a quiet guy but he was actually pretty smart, he always knew what to say. Cas sat up and turned his chair towards Ash, now paying attention to him completely,

 

“Actually at this point, both parts had come to an agreement, they want to do something, and they’re going to, they just don’t know how to,” explained Cas,

 

“Humm… well good luck with that,” said Ash. After a few minutes Cas looked at the hour on his computer 9:30, he had only been at the office for 20 freaking minutes, great.

 

“You know Cas?” said Ash suddenly, Cas directed his attention to him again,

 

“What?”

 

“You know how when you’re writing a code, sometimes there are different ways to get to the same ending?” he asked,

 

“Yes, it depends on how you understand the problem that needs to be solved,” answered Castiel,

 

“Exactly, maybe you need to look at your problem in that way, see the different angles and possible ways to solve it, but from afar, you know? See all the possible scenarios and then pick the one that works better for you,”

 

said Ash. Cas smiled a little at his friend’s idea, it was actually a good one,

 

“Thanks a lot Ash, that’s a great idea,” answered Cas,

 

“Anytime Cas, you seem worried man, and you’re my friend, if you need anything just tell me, or any of the guys, you know we care about you dude,” said Ash,

 

“Thank you Ash, you guys are amazing friends,” answered Cas, right in that moment Charlie walked in the studio and sat at her desk,

 

“Hello bitches,” she said as usual,

 

“Good morning, my queen,” said Ash,

 

“Hello Charlie,” answered Castiel. Charlie looked at Cas and she immediately knew that something was wrong,

 

“Everything okay Cas?” asked the redhead,

 

“Yes, I just… I have a lot in my mind, that’s all,” he answered,

 

“Care to share?” asked Charlie,

 

“Not right now, maybe later,” answered Cas.

 

“Okay,” said Charlie.

 

Cas spent the rest of the day drawing and working on his designs for a new Italian restaurant that would be opening during summer, Kraken was working on creating all their publicity and image, which meant of course, good pay but also a lot of work. Cas felt like he had been drawing for ages, but when he lifted his head to look at the hour it was only 11:17am. He had come to a conclusion though, he definitely needed to finish all of his job before Friday, because it didn’t matter how things went after he told Dean, he would need to sleep for at least two days in a row after that. Castiel decided to skip lunch so he could keep working, Charlie and Kevin invited him to a sushi restaurant nearby but he refused, Charlie knew that there was something wrong with Cas, but she didn’t say anything, instead she offered to bring him something from the restaurant, he accepted and handed her his wallet.

 

After his conclusion of ‘I’m going to need to sleep for a whole weekend after I move out’ hit him, time started to move pretty fast, suddenly he felt like he had a lot of work and no time to waste. The sound of Charlie gathering her stuff made him realize that it was already five pm, time to go home, he also realized that at some point he had actually eaten his sushi, but he couldn’t recall when, well at least he had something in his stomach. He turned off his computer and picked up his backpack, for a moment he considered the option of taking his work home, but he wanted to spend the rest of his afternoon with Dean, so he decided not to.

Charlie and Cas walked out of Kraken together and went straight to her car, she still didn’t say anything, and Cas was thankful for that. They drove for a few minutes in a comfortable silence,

 

“So, what do you want to do tomorrow?” asked Charlie,

 

“I was thinking maybe movies at my place, I can cook something nice,” he answered, he wanted to spend time with Charlie but that way Dean would be with them as well.

 

“Sounds cool, maybe I can bring a nice bottle of wine and you can tell me what’s bothering you,” she said,

 

“Maybe,” answered Castiel,

 

“You know you can tell me anything, right Cas?” she asked clearly worried,

 

“Yes, but I’m not ready to talk about this yet, I promise I’ll tell you soon,” he answered,

 

“Whenever you’re ready, just remember that I’m your friend and I’m always here to talk okay?”

 

“Okay,” answered Cas with a little smile.

 

For a moment he considered telling Charlie, but he was sure that she would try to talk him out of his decision, or even worst, he would have to tell her the truth about his feelings for Dean. They parked outside Cas’s building and Charlie spoke again,

 

“Take care Cas, call me if you need anything,” she said with a sad smile. Cas turned to his left in a weird position but managed to give her a hug, Charlie immediately hugged him back,

 

“Thanks Charlie, see you tomorrow,” said Cas, he let go of her friend and walked to his apartment.

* * *

 

Dean opened the door to the apartment, the first thing he noticed was an amazing smell and he followed it to the kitchen,

 

“Jesus, it smells incredible, almost like…”

 

“Giovanni’s pizza,” Cas interrupted him,

 

“Oh my God, it’s been ages since we ate this stuff,” said Dean, he walked towards the sink and washed his hands.

Cas grabbed a couple of plates and beers and placed them on the table. Dean kept smiling during the whole meal, Giovanni’s pizza was his favorite place as a child and it was kinda Close to Bobby’s, so they used to go all the time; Giovanni was a nice Italian guy and he loved the kids, he used to cook special pizzas just for them and let Gabriel help him in the kitchen.

 

“How did you get this? Last time I checked they still didn’t have delivery service,” said Dean,

 

“They still don’t, I went to Giovanni’s,” explained Castiel,

 

“Charlie drove you?” asked Dean after grabbing another slice of pizza,

 

“No, I took the bus,” said Cas.

 

“What? Oh my god, Cas you could have asked me, I could have picked it up on my way back from the garage,” said Dean,

 

“You’re always hungry and tired after work, I had time, don’t worry,” said Cas,

 

“Well, thanks man, this is awesome, you’re awesome,” said Dean with a smile. This was definitely his favorite pizza in the whole city and Cas had just made his day by buying it.

 

“You’re welcome, oh by the way, Charlie is joining us for dinner and movies tomorrow, is that okay?” asked Cas,

 

“Of course man, that sounds great, what are we eating?” replied Dean. Cas just laughed and shook his head. “What?” asked Dean,

 

“You just inhaled half of that pizza and you’re asking me what are we eating tomorrow, you’re incredible Dean,” said Cas,

 

“Well, you know me, I love food,” answered the Winchester.

 

“Yes, you do,” said Cas with a smile.

 

After dinner they decided to take Nik to the park, the puppy was getting bigger and by this point he had mastered the art of walking with three legs. They had a nice evening and it made Cas feel both happy and sad at the same time, he loved spending time with Dean like this and he knew that after Thursday their lives wouldn’t be the same, even if they remained best friends.

* * *

 

 

Tuesday morning went basically as the previous one, with Cas overthinking stuff and working like a maniac; he had taken with him a couple of slices of pizza from last night, so he opted for eating those while he worked instead of going out during lunch time with the rest of the team. Once again, he was surprised when he realized that it was already time to leave. Charlie drove them to a Walmart to get what they would need to cook dinner.

 

“Okay, I have the vanilla ice cream and the whipped cream, what else?” asked Charlie; Cas didn’t answer he was standing in the middle of the dairy section staring at a bottle of cream.

 

“Cas?” asked Charlie again.

 

“Oh, right, hum… we just need butter for the pie and the baked potatoes and we’re ready to go,” answered Cas. Charlie eyed him suspiciously and then walked down the hallway to find the butter.

* * *

 

They were driving to the apartment when Charlie decided that she just couldn’t take it anymore,

 

“Okay, are you telling me what’s going on?” she asked,

 

“What do you mean?” asked Cas,

 

“Dude, you’ve been acting weird since yesterday, you look tired and like you’re about to start crying any minute now,” she said,

 

“I can’t tell you yet, but I promise I will,” he said.

 

“Okay, just, try to calm down a little Cas, you’ve been working like crazy these days,” said Charlie,

 

“I’ll try, it’s just… there’s something I need to do this weekend and I want to finish all my work before Friday so I can have my weekend completely free,” he explained.

 

“Okay, just don’t pressure yourself that much, I mean, if you don’t finish your work by that day, you can always finish it next week,” she said,

 

“Okay.”

* * *

 

When they arrived at the apartment Dean was already there, he was sitting on the floor of the living room throwing a little ball at Nik.

 

“Hi guys! I bought a toy for this little guy, he’s loving it,” said Dean with a smile on his face.

 

“Hi Dean!” said Charlie with a smile.

 

“Hello Dean, thanks for looking after him, we’re going to start dinner, do you want to help us?” asked Cas.

 

“Great, what are we having?” asked Dean standing up. Nik barked at him when he saw that Dean stopped playing.

 

“ Ribs with Chipotle sauce, baked potatoes with bacon, and corn… oh and an apple pie” Said Charlie,

 

“Man, it sounds amazing,” said Dean.

 

“Cas’s idea,” said Charlie.

 

They walked to the kitchen and placed the bags on the counter. They washed their hands and began to cook. Once everything was prepared, they put the ribs, the pie and the potatoes in the oven, grabbed a beer each and returned to the living room. They talked about their days and played a little more with Nikola Tesla.

 

“So, it seem like you have a lot of work at Kraken,” said Dean,

 

“Yes, we’re considering hiring another designer,” said Cas.

 

“Really?” asked Charlie surprised, “I didn’t know that,”

 

“Yes, Benny and I talked about it last week, if we keep getting this much work, we’re going to start looking for one or two new elements for the design team,” said Cas.

 

“And you’re cool with that?” asked Dean,

 

“Yes, I mean, I’ll be in charge of that department and I get to choose the new members of the team, so I’m okay with it,” said Cas.

 

“Wow Cas, you’ll have your own team, that sounds great,” said Charlie.

 

“Those poor bastards,” joked Dean. Cas hit him on the face with a cushion.

They kept joking and talking until they heard the timer of the oven announcing that their dinner was ready. After a delicious dinner and an amazing apple pie with vanilla ice cream and whipped cream for dessert they remained at the table, too full to do anything else.

 

“Man, we ate like it was our last day on earth,” said Dean.

 

“Dean, you always eat like it’s your last day on earth,” said Charlie with a smile.

 

“I would throw this spoon at you but I can’t even move,” said Dean, they all laughed after that.

 

Half an hour later they decided to go to the rooftop and let Nik play. They had a great time, Nik played with his ball until he was too tired to walk. Charlie, Dean and Cas sat on a blanket and looked at the stars. By eleven, Charlie decided it was time to leave; they went back to the apartment and then she said goodbye.

* * *

 

On Wednesday Kevin helped Cas with the designs, and Cas was very thankful for that, he was planning on skipping lunch again but he was starting to feel like shit because of all the stress so he opted to go with Charlie and Ash to get something to eat. He was having a salad when he got a text message,

**Hey Cas, I’m thinking Mexican for dinner. What do U think?**

The message was from Dean,

 **Sure, please buy tamales!! :D** Answered Castiel.

After lunch he returned to work, he was glad to notice that he was almost done with his work for the Italian restaurant. Everything would be probably finished by lunchtime next day. He kept working hard with Kevin’s help.

* * *

 

Cas arrived to the apartment and he knew that he still had another hour until Dean returned from his work. He locked himself in his room with Nik and tried to think again of what would he tell Dean next day.

 

After a lot of thinking he finally came up with an idea and that made him feel a little more relaxed. Dean knocked on his door a few minutes later,

 

“Hey Cas, I brought taquitos!” said Dean with joy, “and your tamales,”

 

“Excellent,” said Cas getting out of bed.

 

They had dinner at the table; Nik kept barking, he obviously wanted to try the food; Cas gave him some meat and the puppy was ecstatic.

 

“These tacos are great,” said Cas,

 

“I went to that new place near Bobby’s, this is definitely my new favorite Mexican restaurant,” said Dean,

 

“We really need to take Gabe to this place, he would love it,” answered Cas. They kept eating; after a while Dean noticed that Cas looked more tired than usual.

 

“Cas, are you sleeping well man?” he asked,

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You look tired, like you’re not getting enough sleep,” commented Dean.

 

“Well… I, actually… I’ve been having trouble to fall asleep during the night, I might go back to my sleeping pills,” said Cas without thinking.

 

“Like hell you are!” said Dean, “I’m making you a freaking tea and reading you something until you fall asleep, that’s better than taking drugs man,” Cas blushed a little, he loved the idea.

 

“Okay Dean, we can try it your way,” he said.

* * *

 

Cas placed his empty mug on his bedside table and then he turned around to direct his attention to Dean,

 

“Okay, I drank my tea, now I want my bedtime story,” he said with a smile. Dean was lying next to him, holding Cas’s iPad between his hands.

 

“Okay, what about ‘the call of Cthulhu?” asked Dean.

 

“Perfect,” answered Cas. Dean smiled and opened the book on the iPad. He got a little closer to Cas and began to read. Both of them fell asleep before Dean finished the story.

* * *

 

Cas was on edge during the whole morning of Thursday; luckily he finished his work right before lunch so he decided to leave early.

 

“Are you alright Cas?” asked Charlie worried,

 

“Yes, I just, have something very important to do today, I already finished my work, so I’m going home now, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” he said,

 

“Do you want me to drive you?” She asked,

 

“No, it’s fine, I can walk, I need to stop at Walmart on my way home anyway, thanks though,” he said,

 

“Okay, take care Cas,” said Charlie.

 

Walking had always helped him to clear his mind, he walked until he reached the Walmart’s door and then he grabbed a small piece of paper from his pocket, he had written a list which he called _‘everything I need for a mayor meltdown.’_ He had assumed that after the conversation he would have with Dean later, he would feel even worst, he would leave to Chuck's and then lock himself in his room and have the king of all meltdowns in there. Chuck wasn’t in town yet, so he had that in his favor, Gabe wouldn’t suspect anything if he played his cards right.

He grabbed a cart and began to gather what he would need: a lot of chocolate, black tea, a first aid kit, three big bottles of Gatorade, crackers, and a box of Kleenex.

 

* * *

 

After getting everything ready he walked to his apartment. He grabbed a suitcase from his closet and filled it with everything he had gotten at Walmart, he also placed inside a change of clothes, a small bag of dog food and his favorite blanket, then he placed the suitcase back in the closet. His next step was to grab his backpack and place his sketchbook, pens, iPad, computer, chargers and drawing tablet inside; after that he closed his backpack and placed it under his desk. Once he was sure that he had everything he would need later when he left to Chuck’s he sat on his bed.

He knew that he didn’t need to move right away, but he also knew that if he didn’t, Dean would want to keep talking and he would probably witness his meltdown. Cas just sat there trying not to think, when he noticed it was already five; he grabbed his phone and texted Dean,

**Dean, could you bring Chinese for dinner?**

A minute later Dean answered back,

**Sure, C ya in a while**

 

Cas wasn’t really hungry, but Dean would probably be starving when he returned from work. He stood up and decided to take Nik for a walk.

* * *

 

Dean walked out of the elevator and saw Cas opening the door of the apartment,

 

“Cas!” He called,

 

“Oh, hi Dean, I took Nikola Tesla for a walk,” explained Cas.

 

“Great,” said Dean, he walked towards his friend and grabbed the little dog from the floor.

 

“Jesus Nik, you’re getting heavy man,” said Dean with a smile, the puppy licked his face.

 

They walked in the apartment and Dean placed the dog back on the floor.

 

“I brought dinner,” he said showing a plastic bag to Cas.

 

“Great, I’ll set the table,” Cas was very nervous while he placed everything on the table; it was a miracle that he didn’t break anything.

 

They sat down and grabbed their food, Dean began to eat right away and he didn’t notice that Cas wasn’t eating. After a while, Dean turned his attention to his friend and realized that Cas hadn’t put anything on his plate.

 

“Cas, you’re not eating man, something wrong?” asked Dean,

 

“Actually, there’s something that I need to tell you,” said Cas. Dean put his fork down and directed his attention completely to his friend.

 

“Okay, talk to me,” said Dean. Cas took a deep breath and directed his eyes to the plate in front of him.

 

“Dean I… look, I’ve been thinking lately and, well I’m really thankful that you convinced me to leave my home all those years ago and that you have taken me as your roommate all this time, it has really made me grow as a person. When I was a kid people used to think that I would always be a little kid living with my dad, and for a long time I believed that too, but then you helped me realize that I could be so much more,” explained Cas. Dean smiled and kept staring at his friend,

 

“Okay…so why do you look so sad then?” asked Dean.

 

“The thing is, that I feel like I need to keep growing personally, both of us do, you need to keep going with what’s next in your life, getting married, having a family, all that stuff; and I need to keep going with what’s next in mine, which for me means, giving a huge step… living on my own, I need to prove myself that I’m able, that I can live without being dependent of anyone, because at the end of the day, it’ll always be me, just me, I won’t get married or have kids, I need to learn to live with Cas, I need to stop being a burden to other people,” Cas kept looking Down,

 

“What? Are you? What do you mean?” asked Dean concerned, he suddenly felt like he wasn’t getting enough air,

 

“Dean, I’m moving out of the apartment,” said Cas, he finally looked at his friend, and as he expected, Dean looked heartbroken.

 

“What? Cas, is this because of that stupid fight we had, because man, I’m trying, I’m not treating you like a child anymore, I thought we were doing great, we can talk this out Cas, you don’t have to leave,” He felt like Cas was breaking up with him, which was ridiculous.

 

“Dean, I’m not trying to fight, this doesn’t have anything to do with our argument, I’m not mad at you, I’m telling you, I think we need to move forward, we need to give the next step in our adult lives,” said Cas trying to hold back his tears.

 

“No, this is bullshit, we’re totally fine this way Cas, you’re my best friend, I love living with you man, I don’t see you as a burden I’ve already told you a thousand times,” Dean was desperate, he didn’t want to lose Cas.

 

“Dean, I’m not stopping being your best friend, we can still hang out all the time, I just… please, I need to do this, I need to know that I’m able to be an adult, on my own,” They remained in silence for a couple of minutes.

 

“Where are you going to live, have you been looking for places?” asked Dean trying to accept Castiel’s decision,

 

“I’ve been looking, the place that I like will be available next month,” said Cas,

 

“Okay,” answered Dean, he felt betrayed, Cas had already looked for places,

 

“But I’m moving out of the apartment tonight,” said Cas,

 

“What? Why?” asked Dean clearly upset,

 

“Because, if I don’t do it right now I will have second thoughts and I need to do this Dean,” said Cas with a firm voice,

 

“And where are you going? Your place wont be ready for another month,” said Dean, “Stay until it’s ready,”

 

“I’m going back to my dad’s for a while, don’t worry,” said Cas,

 

“Don’t worry? It doesn’t make sense Cas, that’s fucking bullshit, if you go back to that place you know pretty well that Chuck wont let you move out again,” Dean was raising his voice now,

 

“I don’t care Dean, I’m leaving today, I’ve made my decision,” Dean looked at him for a few seconds and then he realized,

 

“That’s why you’ve been acting weird since before my birthday, that’s why you’ve been trying to spend perfect days with me, and cooking and watching the movies that I wanted to watch… you were saying goodbye,” said Dean,

 

“I’m sorry…”

 

“You’re sorry? Cas, this isn’t fair man, you got your fucking goodbye, and you’re not letting me have mine, you’re leaving today, you don’t even care about my fucking opinion,”

 

“I’m sorry Dean, I did not think that you would be this upset.” Cas couldn’t understand Dean’s reaction, it wasn’t like they wouldn’t be still seeing each other, he was giving him his freedom and the guy was acting like a teenage girl.

 

Cas of course didn’t know that Dean was upset because Cas was leaving him, and now he wouldn’t get to see him every morning or to watch movies and have dinner together, or spend lazy weekends just lying on bed and talking. Cas wanted to move on with his life and it was breaking Dean’s heart, he couldn’t imagine his life without Cas by his side every fucking second, and then it hit him, he was being selfish.

 

“No, I’m sorry I reacted like this… I just…” Dean stood up and walked to his room closing the door behind him,

 

“Dean?” asked Cas, he walked out of the dinning room and knocked on Dean’s door,

 

“Dean, please don’t do this, we’re not done talking, I’m leaving now, please don’t let me leave without saying goodbye,” he waited for another minute and then Dean walked out of his room, he was carrying a duffle bag,

 

“You’re not moving out of the apartment,” said Dean,

 

“What?” asked Cas,

 

“I am,” he said with a sad smile,

 

“No, Dean I’m the one who wants to leave, that’s not fair, don’t do this,” said Cas worried,

 

“Look Cas, if you go back to Chuck’s he will never let you move out again, and you know it, besides you hate changes, you complain when I buy the wrong brand of milk, you’re already going to change your life by living on your own, at least stay here so you can be at a place that’s familiar to you, that way it won’t be such a big change, I can go back to Bobby’s for a while and then look for a place for myself,”

 

“Dean, I don’t know, this isn’t how I wanted things to go, now I feel guilty for leaving you without a home,” said Cas,

 

“Man, I’ll always have a home at Bobby’s, he will be glad of taking me back, don’t worry, I just, I have to leave now Cas, because if I don’t do it now, I don’t think I will be able to do it at all,” explained Dean. Cas understood exactly what Dean meant. He got closer to his friend and hugged him,

 

“I’m sorry Dean, but this is for our own good, we both need this, we need to stop being so dependent of each other, we need to find ourselves,” said Cas. Dean smiled and ruffled his hair,

 

“You’re right man, take care okay? I’ll drop by next week to pick up the rest of my stuff,” said Dean.

 

Cas stayed there, looking as his best friend, the love of his life, closed the door behind him.

* * *

 

He didn’t know for how long he stood there, watching the door; after a while everything started to replay in his head and then he began to feel sick, he turned around and ran to the bathroom, he got there just in time to throw up in the toilet; his throat burned with all the contains of his stomach fighting their way out, he could also feel the vomit coming out of his nose, it was disgusting, but there was nothing he could do, the mayor meltdown had begun.

After fifteen minutes of holding for dear life to the toilet, he finally stopped throwing up. He stood up, flushed the toilet and walked to the sink; when he looked in the mirror, all he could see was a broken man who looked like he needed to get some sleep.

He brushed his teeth and washed his sweaty face before going back to his room, he was feeling weaker by the second, he could feel his meltdown taking control of his body, he opened the door to his room and walked to his closet, he grabbed his suitcase and pulled out his favorite blanket and a bottle of Gatorade; Cas let himself fall to the floor, he wrapped himself with his blanket and began to rock; he didn’t notice when but he had started to cry, he was also scratching his left hand. Stains were beginning to form on his glasses so he removed them and placed them inside the suitcase. He kept crying and hugging his legs, he gathered all of his strength to get up and climb in his bed; once he was there he covered his face with a pillow and began to scream.

He hated this, why had he listened to Lisa? _‘Because she’s right you idiot, you’re broken, you don’t deserve him, you’re a fucking burden, we has the right to live a normal life, you could never give him that,’_ he threw away the pillow and then he could hear something breaking, he didn’t care what it was. Cas was aware that during a meltdown he could hurt himself sometimes, but he didn’t care right now, he started to punch the mattress, trying to take out all of his feelings; at some point someone texted him, but he didn’t care who, he grabbed the phone and threw it against the wall. He just wanted to be left alone. He kept crying, he felt his mouth getting dry and it didn’t matter how many blankets he covered himself with, he kept shaking. Eventually after almost an hour, he fell asleep.

* * *

 

Dean walked to the parking lot of the building trying not to cry; he opened the passenger door of the impala and threw his duffel bag inside, then he slammed the door. He walked to the driver’s side, got in the car and started it.

He began to drive without really paying attention, he just wanted to go to Bobby’s and sleep for a thousand years; he hadn’t felt this way since that day he realized that Cas would never love him back and he got really drunk; Cas had broken his heart once again. He knew it was stupid to feel this way, Cas wasn’t his boyfriend, Cas wasn’t his, for God’s sake, but it still hurt.

When he parked outside Bobby’s he waited for a few seconds before going inside, he was trying to calm himself down, but then he saw the old Novak’s house and he lost it again. After almost fifteen minutes he finally managed to stop crying, he grabbed his bag and walked towards Bobby’s house. He opened the door to find Bobby watching a movie in the living room, the old man turned around when he heard the door opening.

 

“Dean?” said Bobby when he saw the Winchester walking in, “What are you doing here son?”

 

“Bobby, do you mind if I crash here for a while?” asked Dean,

 

“You know that this is your house son, but what happened, did you fight with Castiel again?” Bobby stood up and walked towards Dean.

 

“I… I don’t… can I have a beer?”

 

“Sure son,” Bobby walked to the kitchen and returned with a couple of beers, he handed Dean his.

 

They walked to the couch and sat down. Bobby remained silent, he watched as Dean gulped down his beer. After a few minutes, Dean stood up and walked to the kitchen to grab the whole pack of beer. Bobby just looked at him with worried eyes. Eventually Dean realized that beer wasn’t enough, so he picked a bottle of jack and drank straight from it. Bobby decided to intervene in that moment and removed the Bottle from Dean’s hands.

 

“Okay, care to explain what’s going on before you finish with my alcohol stash?” Said Bobby; Dean grabbed the bottle from his hands again and took another swig then he returned the bottle to his uncle. Dean passed a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. They just sat in silence for a few minutes.

 

“He wanted to move out of the apartment, he said that we both need to keep going with our lives, to grow up… that we’re very dependent of each other and that he needs to try living on his own, and I mean, I get it, he’s right, I need to stop treating him like a freaking baby… but Jesus, Bobby, it hurts like shit man… I, I still love him, I love him so fucking much that my stupid chest hurts every time he smiles, and I want to share my life with him forever, even if I only get to be his roommate… and I’m a selfish bastard, he has the right to live his life the way he wants, it’s not his fault that I feel this way, he doesn’t even know…” Dean was crying at this point. Bobby placed a hand on his shoulder,

 

“Jesus Dean, I thought you had gotten over your crush with Cas a long time ago,” said Bobby,

 

“Bobby this thing stopped being a crush ages ago, I really love him, how stupid am I?” he said,

 

“Son, you’re not stupid, it's not your fault that he can’t reciprocate your feelings,” Dean kept crying for a while, he tried to grab the bottle of Jack again but Bobby didn’t allow it.

 

“I don’t even know why am I crying, you know? I mean, we didn’t argue, we’re still best friends, we could probably go grab a burger tomorrow, it’s just… I don’t know,” Said Dean.

 

“Dean, you have taken that kid for granted your whole life, you’ve always assumed that he would be next to you forever, remember that time you had a big fight because he was leaving school to be homeschooled, you lost it because you couldn’t see yourself without him next to you in that classroom every single day,”

 

“What do I do now?” asked Dean, “I mean, I want to give him his space,”

 

“What you should do right now is go to bed Dean, you’re a mess, c’mon, you’re taking the day off tomorrow, I don’t want to see your ass in the garage, you hear me?” said Bobby standing up,

 

“Yes Bobby,” said Dean, he actually felt relieved that he didn’t had to show up at work next day. Dean stood up as well and walked upstairs towards his room.

 

“Damn idjits,” whispered Bobby once he heard Dean closing the door of his room.

* * *

 

Next day of course, Castiel didn’t show up at Kraken, it didn’t surprise anybody; he usually took a day or two after finishing his part on a project so he could recharge batteries. Charlie was worried though, she texted her friend a couple of times but he didn’t answer, he wasn’t online when she checked Facebook and he hadn’t tweeted anything yet.

 

After lunch she decided to try again and called Cas, but the call went straight to voicemail.

 

“Ash, you heard anything from Cas?” asked Charlie,

 

“Nah, but I wouldn’t worry if he doesn’t answer, you know he’s a heavy sleeper,”

 

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” answered Charlie. She kept trying to reach her friend but didn’t have any luck.

* * *

 

Cas woke up at noon, his body was aching terribly and he was really thirsty; he threw away all of his blankets, grabbed the bottle of Gatorade from the floor and gulped it down almost immediately.

 

Nik came out from under the bed and looked at Cas with expectant eyes, Cas picked him up, he grabbed a little metallic box from his drawer and then he used the fire escape to take his little dog to the rooftop.

 

“I’m sorry,” said Cas, his voice sounding deeper than usual, “I don’t feel like going outside, you can play in here for a while, though,” he opened the metallic box and took a smoke. Sometimes after a really hard meltdown, he would have a smoke to help himself to remain calmed.

 

He looked at his hand and realized that he had done a big damage while scratching it, he had a lot of dried blood and a scab was beginning to form, it didn’t hurt that much so he ignored it and turned his attention back to his dog. He let Nik play and do his necessities while he finished his cigarrete.

 

“I’ll clean that up later,” he said after finishing smoking, “now let’s go back downstairs, I feel like I could keep sleeping,” he picked up the dog and walked back to his room, after making sure that Nik had food and water, he plopped himself on his bed and fell asleep after a few minutes.

 

When he woke up again he was still tired and thirsty, it was already dark, he looked at his clock and it was 2 am, he stood up, grabbed another bottle of Gatorade and began to drink. His stomach was still a little upset; he picked a couple of crackers and ate them slowly. Nik began to bark and walked towards the window, he obviously needed to go outside.

Cas repeated his actions from noon and took the puppy to the rooftop; this time he grabbed a plastic bag to clean after his dog. He didn’t smoke this time, he just choose to stay upstairs for a while and look at the stars, that proved to be an incredibly bad idea right away, stars remained him of Dean; he could feel his heartbeat getting faster, so he decided to return downstairs.

After checking again the food and water of his little dog he went back to bed. A lot of people would say that he had slept enough, but he still felt tired, besides, during sleep he didn’t have to think about Dean.

* * *

 

Dean woke up with a headache and his eyes were red from all the crying. Bobby was already gone, which was fine, he wanted to be alone. He checked his phone to see if he had any messages from Cas, but he didn’t, his friend was probably at Kraken right now.

Dean went to the bathroom and grabbed a couple of aspirins, he looked like shit; he was grateful that Bobby decided to give him the day. He wasn’t really hungry, so he just grabbed some pop tarts and a cup of coffee and walked out of the house, to the backyard. He wasn’t wearing a jacket and he was barefoot, but he didn’t care, it was a cold morning but it somehow made him feel alive. He sat down on the stairs of the deck and tried to clear his mind. Cas was right, they needed this; he needed to let go. After a few minutes he received a text from Lisa,

**Have a nice day honey! :***

Dean sighed, he had forgotten about Lisa. She was a nice person, he didn’t love her, not even remotely as much as he loved Cas; but maybe this was his chance to finally let go of Cas and to move on with his life, maybe someday he would love Lisa the way she deserved. He would need to stay away from Cas for a while though, it would be good for both: Cas could start his new life, live on his own and stop depending on Dean; and Dean could spend more time with Lisa and try to really forget his feelings for Cas, for good this time. It would be hard but it was worth the try.

He grabbed his phone and began to text back,

**Thanks, U 2 beautiful. See U this weekend?**

He wasn’t in the mood for going out, but he was Dean freaking Winchester, the king of ‘fake it till you make it,’ so he was going to smile and try to move on with his life. He also decided that he would wait a few days to text Cas and check on him.

* * *

 

On Saturday Gabriel waited for his brother to have breakfast together but he didn’t show up, he called him a few times but he kept getting the voicemail every single time; he also tried Facetime but it was useless. Cas was probably asleep, he didn’t need to worry. At 11:30 am his phone rang, it was Charlie,

 

“What’s up?” asked Gabe,

 

“Hi Gabe, hey, is Cas with you? I’ve been trying to call him but I think there’s something wrong with his phone,” explained Charlie,

 

“Nope, I think he fell asleep or something, he didn’t show up,” answered Gabe,

 

“Dude, you think he’s okay? He didn’t show up at work yesterday either and he was acting pretty weird this week,” said Charlie worried,

 

“I’ll call Dean, he’ll know what’s going on,”

 

“Okay, let me know as soon as you know something,”

 

“You got it,” said Charlie, she ended the call with Gabe and dialed Dean’s number; she waited a few seconds until Dean picked up.

 

“Hi Red,” answered Dean,

 

“Hi Dean, Hey listen, is Cas with you?” asked Charlie,

 

“No, hum… he didn’t tell you? I… I moved out of the apartment, we decided it was the best for both of us; I haven’t seen him since Thursday, but he’s probably at Chuck’s, it’s a Saturday, everything alright?”

 

“Yeah, right I forgot… he didn’t tell me that you moved out thought, are you okay?” asked Charlie,

 

“Yeah, I think so, it’s kinda weird, but yeah I’m fine,” answered Dean,

 

“Well, call me if you need anything okay? Gotta go, take care,” said Charlie, she didn’t wait for Dean to answer, she ended the call right away. After that she dialed Gabe’s number.

 

“Hey, I’m heading to Cas’s apartment now, did you know that Dean moved out?” She said while searching for her shoes.

 

“Oh my God, What? No I had no idea, so he hasn’t seen Cas?” Asked Gabriel worried, he grabbed his car keys and walked out of the house.

 

“No, not since Thursday, just like me, do you think Cas is alright?” She was tying her shoelaces now,

 

“I hope so, I mean he wouldn’t do anything stupid if that’s what you mean, but he’s probably being miserable,” said Gabe already driving to the apartment,

 

“meet you at the apartment in 15,” said Gabe,

 

“Got it, see you there,” said Charlie before ending de call.

* * *

 

Gabe met with Charlie exactly fifteen minutes after their call, she was getting out of her car when he parked outside the building, they walked into the building and basically ran to the apartment; Charlie used her key to open the door.

The place was silent, they caught an unpleasant smell coming from the kitchen, they walked straight to Cas room, the door was open and they found him asleep on his bed.

They got closer to him, Cas looked tired even though he was asleep and he looked like he hadn’t shaved in a few days; there was a small spot of blood on the blanket under him and a couple of empty Gatorade bottles on the floor.

 

Gabe placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder and began to shake him lightly.

 

“Cas, Cas are you okay?” asked Gabriel. Cas slowly opened his eyes and he gave a small jump surprised by seeing his brother.

 

“What? What are you doing here? What day is it? Is it Saturday already?” asked Castiel clearly confused. “Yes Cassie, is Saturday man, that’s usually what comes after Friday,” answered Gabe; Cas sat up and passed a hand through his hair,

 

“Hmmm… I went to sleep on Thursday, I think I’ve been waking up, though,” he said pointing at the bottles on the floor,

 

“Oh my God Cas, have you eaten anything? Your hand! Cas are you okay?” Charlie was pretty worried,

 

“I’m okay,” said Cas, he still sounded sleepy,

 

“No you’re not, you clearly had a meltdown Cas, your freaking hand is bleeding and you have a scratch on your forehead, you look like shit and apparently you’ve been sleeping since Thursday which means that you haven’t eaten either,” said Gabriel,

 

“I’m fine, I had everything ready for my meltdown,” said Cas,

 

“Why didn’t you call us Cas? What happened? I thought you had fixed things with Dean,” said Charlie clearly worried,

 

“I’m sorry you had to see me like this Charlie,” said Cas. Charlie sat next to him on the bed and smiled a little,

 

“It’s okay Cas, you’re my friend, I don’t mind,” she said,

 

“When was the last time you ate?” asked Gabriel trying to take control of the situation,

 

“Technically, Thursday night, though I threw up, I think I ate a couple of crackers this morning,” Gabriel tried not to get upset, Charlie was clearly scared, she didn’t know what to do.

 

“Okay, that’s it,” said Gabe, “I’m making breakfast and you’re going to eat even if I have to shove the freaking pancakes down your throat, Charlie could you please help Cas with his hand?” Charlie grabbed Cas’s hand and stared with wide eyes at the damage Cas had made,

 

“Sure,” said Charlie almost in a whisper. Gabriel walked out of the room and they could hear him talking to Nik on the kitchen.

 

“There’s a first aid kit in the suitcase, I can take care of it, don’t worry,” said Cas; Charlie stood up and grabbed the kit, she also handed him his glasses,

 

“I got it Cas, don’t worry,” she insisted,

 

“Are you sure? You seem a little upset,” said Cas putting on his glasses,

 

“I’m fine, it’s just, you scared me Cas,” she began to clean the wound with a gauze and antiseptic, “Tell me if it hurts.”

 

Cas remained silent for a few minutes,

 

“Dean left,” said Cas with a sad expression,

 

“I know, he told me on the phone, wanna talk about it?” asked Charlie,

 

“Not really, can we have breakfast first?”

 

“Sure Cas,” Said Charlie, she began to bandage Castiel’s hand.

 

Once they where done, Charlie helped him to stand up and they walked to the kitchen; there was already a stack of pancakes on the table and Gabe was making tea for Cas; he had also cleaned the table and the nasty smell was gone.

 

“There he is, how are you feeling?” Said Gabriel with a smile,

 

“I guess I’m hungry, and my whole body hurts, you know, the usual after a meltdown,” said Cas, he sat down at his regular place and put a couple of pancakes on his plate; Charlie sat down next to Cas and after placing a cup of tea for Cas on the table, Gabriel joined them too.

 

“So, what happened Cas? Did Dean-o really move out?” asked Gabriel after a while.

 

“Yes, I … decided that I want to move on with my life, and he deserves to move on with his too, it was obvious that our lives are taking different turns and we needed to go to the next stage, I want to prove to myself that I can live on my own, that I’m able to be an independent being and that I don’t need people treating me like a child… I’m failing miserably at that one right now though, with you two acting like I’m about to break,” explained Cas,

 

“Okay so if the next step in your life is to live on your own and be independent, then what’s Dean's?” asked Charlie,

 

“That’s pretty obvious, marriage, a house, a family… ‘Apple pie life’ as he would call it; I can’t be in that scenario and he certainly can’t be in one when I’m living alone, so after I exposed my thoughts and I informed him that I was moving out, he decided to leave the apartment instead… he said it would be easier for me to adapt if I at least am in a familiar place,”

 

“Is this why you were acting weird the whole week? Cas you could have told us,” said Charlie,

 

“The point of becoming an independent person is to stop depending on people Charlie,” said Cas in a monotonous voice,

 

“Cas, there’s nothing wrong with asking for help, we all need it sometimes, okay? If you think living on your own is the best option for you, we support you, but don't lock yourself up, you’ll just end up hurting yourself and us in the process,” said Charlie with a sweet voice.

 

“Okay, thanks,” said Cas blushing,

 

“Okay, now tell us how can we help you?” said Charlie,

 

“I, need some things from the drugstore and probably food, also could any of you take Nik for a walk? I’m not ready to go outside yet, also, I think I need a bath,” said Cas. Gabe stood up and placed the dirty dishes in the sink,

 

“Okay, tell me what you need from the outside world, I’ll go get everything you need and I can take Nik with me, I’m sure he’ll love to hang out with uncle Gabe,”

 

“Thanks Gabriel,”

 

“I need some vitamins, any brand is fine, extra points if you buy vitamins for kids,” said Cas with a smile, “ and, well… I’ll just make you a list,” he looked for his phone in his pocket and then he remembered what he had done, “shit, can I borrow your phone Gabe?” he asked,

 

“Sure” said Gabe handing him the phone, “what happened to yours?”

 

“It had a tragic encounter with a wall,” answered Cas, he opened the notes app on Gabe’s phone and began to type a list of what he needed.

 

“Okay, do you want me to bring a new phone too?” asked Gabe,

 

“No, it’s fine, I think’ ill go to the mall with Charlie on Tuesday, I can pick a new phone then,” he returned his phone to Gabe.

 

“Great, well, I’ll be right back, you take your relaxing Bath and I’ll bring something nice to eat, and take care of your dog,” he picked Nikola Tesla from the floor and walked out of the apartment.

 

“Okay, why don’t we clean up a little and then you take your bath?” said Charlie, “Thanks Charlie,” answered Cas.

 

He was glad he could always count on his brother and Charlie, they were right, maybe this new stage in his life needed to happen gradually and he was glad that he had his friends to help him with that.

* * *

 

Instinct woke up Dean pretty early on Saturday morning, he was used to driving Cas to Chuck’s, it was something automatic at that point; it took him a few minutes to remember why he was at his old room,

 

“Fuck,” he said; he buried his face in his pillow and tried not to think about Cas, just like in his last 100 attempts, he had failed. _‘How’s Cas supposed to get to Chuck’s today? Should I call him and offer a ride?’_ he asked himself. _‘He probably called Gabe to pick him up, or took the bus, I mean, if he needed a ride he would’ve asked me, right?'_ He didn’t realize when but he ended up falling asleep again, the next time he opened his eyes it was already 11:27 in the morning.

 

He got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, he was washing his face when his phone started to ring, he quickly grabbed a towel and dried his hands then he answered the call on speaker.

 

“Hi Red,” he said when he saw the name of Charlie on the screen,

 

“Hi Dean, Hey listen, is Cas with you?” she asked, _‘hmm… so she doesn’t know yet’_ he thought,

 

“No, hum… he didn’t tell you? I… I moved out of the apartment, we decided it was the best for both of us; I haven’t seen him since Thursday, but he’s probably at Chuck’s, it’s a Saturday, everything alright?” He tried not to worry, after all Cas wanted his space and he hated to be treated as a Child,

 

“Yeah, right I forgot… he didn’t tell me that you moved out thought, are you okay?” asked Charlie, she seemed worried,

 

“Yeah, I think so, it’s kinda weird, but yeah I’m fine,” answered Dean, he wasn’t in the mood to have that conversation,

 

“Well, call me if you need anything okay? Gotta go, take care,” said Charlie, he tried to answer but Charlie ended the call right away.

 

He finished drying his face and stared at his phone for a few seconds, maybe he should call Cas, he picked up the phone but he didn’t make the call, he wasn’t ready, the truth was that if he heard Cas’s voice in that moment he would probably start to cry, he needed to leave the guy alone. He walked downstairs, Bobby was sitting at the table reading a newspaper,

 

“Morning son,” he said,

 

“Hi Bobby,” answered Dean, he grabbed a mug from the pantry and poured himself some coffee,

 

“Feeling better?” asked Bobby,

 

“I guess, I mean, yeah… about what I said the other day…”

 

“You mean your feelings for Cas?” asked Bobby with a serious face,

 

“Yeah, that, can we pretend that didn’t happen?” asked Dean trying not to blush.

 

“We can pretend all you want son, your feelings are still there,” answered Bobby. Dean took a seat in front of his uncle,

 

“I’ve been thinking, you know? I wanna give it a try with Lisa, like really, really give it a try… I know that Cas will never love me back, I need to find someone who’s able to reciprocate my feelings, Lisa’s been trying so hard, she deserves this, I need to focus in our relationship,” said Dean; he sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than Bobby.

 

“Son, is it really a good idea to use someone to try to forget another person?” asked Bobby,

 

“I don’t want to forget Cas, he’s my best friend, I just… I need to forget about my feelings for him, I don’t know how to explain it, I just feel like I owe this to Lisa, to give her a real chance,”

 

“And what were you doing during these months? Just getting free yoga lessons?” asked Bobby,

 

“No, I mean… all this time, while I was with her I couldn’t stop thinking about him, I need to start thinking about her, about my future, I wanna have kids someday, you know?” said Dean,

 

“Son, I don’t think you know what you want right now, I mean, I’m pretty sure that this situation will help you realize a lot of things, but it ain’t happening today or tomorrow, you need time, don’t rush things… I ain’t telling you how to live your life Dean, just remember that you’re my kid and all I want for you is to be happy,”

 

“Jesus, I totally returned to my teenage years, first I move back to my Dad’s house and now I’m getting the emotional talk, can I start getting an allowance again?” joked Dean.

 

“Shut up you idjit, take it as a joke if you want, but I really think this change is going to help you realize a lot of things… in the meantime, since you’re feeling like you’re back at your teenage years, you’re helping me out in the house, No alcohol in work days, I don’t want girls or boys staying over during the week and if I hear or see you having sex, I’m going to disappear that car of yours, are we clear?”

 

“Jesus Bobby, I was just joking,” said Dean with wide eyes,

 

“Well I’m not, now stay there, I’m gonna cook you some breakfast,” said Bobby trying to hide a smile,

 

“You’re the boss,” said Dean, he really loved his uncle.

* * *

 

“Okay, you can come in,” said Cas, he was sitting in his bathtub, covered by a purple foam; Charlie opened the door of the bathroom and walked in,

 

“Oh, bubbles and bath bomb, nice touch,” she said with a smile, Cas returned the smile. Charlie got closer to her friend and sat with her legs crossed on the floor of the bathroom next to the bathtub, they remained silent for a few minutes.

  

“What do you want to know?” asked Cas; Charlie had a lot of questions, but she wasn’t sure that talking about Dean would be a good idea, so she decided to talk about the meltdown,

 

“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to but, I guess I never realized how hard it could be to you, I mean I only get to see you on ‘normal days,’ I always assumed that being an Aspie was only being a little quirky and that your mind worked a little different than most people’s, but wow… I’m sorry I talk a lot when I’m nervous, what I’m trying to ask is, what is it like? The meltdowns I mean…” she was out of breath when she finished talking, she looked at Cas with expectant eyes; Cas thought his answer for a few seconds, he didn’t seem upset by the question, Charlie relaxed a little when she noticed that,

 

“Well, I mean every person whit Asperger’s is different, the symptoms are almost the same, but it can vary in intensity between people… I guess I should start my story from the beginning… when I was a kid, I used to stress out for everything, mom hated it of course, I remember they once took me to a circus when I was five, I didn’t want to go, I didn’t like the noise and the lights, but they made me… of course I threw up after ten minutes of show and we had to go back, I had a headache for two days, that’s the first meltdown I can remember… the basic symptoms of a meltdown are head aches, sometimes you shake a lot and you can’t stop, your heart rate increases, you can’t breath right, upset stomach, sometimes you can hurt yourself,” he raised his bandaged hand to make a point, “sometimes sweaty hands, dry mouth, change of body temperature, I mean it is a mess, it’s not a rule to present all the symptoms, I’ve noticed that it also depends on how hard the meltdown is… the point is that it’s something that you can’t control, when it starts… all I can do is try to make myself comfortable and try to let it pass… I honestly don’t know what’s the worst part, when it’s happening or when it’s over… because then your whole body hurts and you feel like you need to sleep for a century, and I don’t know, I think the best way I can describe it is… like if your inner batteries run out of energy and you need a lot of time to charge them back,” he explained, Charlie just stared at him with wide eyes.

 

"Cas, I… I had no idea, I want to be able to help you next time it happens, what can I do?”

 

“Most times all I need is a lot of water, staying in the dark, relaxing music and to feel physical pressure over me, like a tight hug but for a long time,” he said,

 

“Is that why Dean’s always cuddling with you?” Asked Charlie; she immediately regretted mentioning Dean’s name; she could see the pain in Castiel’s eyes, “I, I’m sorry Cas, I didn’t mean to…”

 

“It’s okay Charlie, he’s still my best friend, I just… I think I’ll need time to adjust,” he said; he grabbed air, closed his eyes and sank in the water, after 10 seconds he emerged again with his hair soaked.

 

“Cas… did you really wanted to move out because you want to live on your own?” she asked; Cas rubbed his eyes and passed a hand through his hair,

 

“I… no, I mean, not at first… I just, I want him to be happy, I felt like I was becoming a burden, but I couldn’t just say that, I needed to give him more reasons… but at the end, it wasn’t a lie, I really need to learn to be on my own, It’s always going to be like this for me,” he said with a sad expression,

 

“Is it really what you want?” she asked,

 

“Yes,” said Cas automatically.

 

They remained silent for a while after that, Cas washed his hair and even made himself a beard with the purple foam.

 

“You look nice with a beard, you should leave it,” she said with a smile,

 

“Maybe I will,” he answered. A knock on the bathroom’s door interrupted them,

 

“Hi kids, I’m back,” said Gabriel, “nice beard Cas,” he winked at his brother,

 

“Thanks Gabriel,” said Cas, “Can you guys leave the bathroom for a few minutes now? I want to get out of the bathtub,” he said.

 

“Sure,” said Charlie standing up; they left Cas alone in the bathroom. He sank in the water again, this time for solid 50 seconds, when he sat up again, the foam beard had washed out in the water.

* * *

 

Dean helped Bobby around the house for the rest of the day; he needed to keep himself busy in order to stop thinking about Castiel.

 

“You sure you’re okay kid?” asked Bobby,

 

“Sure Bobby, why?” asked Dean,

 

“You’ve been cleaning the same spot on the table for ten minutes,” answered Bobby,

 

“Oh, hmm... sorry I got distracted, I just… yeah,” he stopped cleaning the table and grabbed his phone; he dialed Lisa’s number. “Hey Lis,” he said when she answered the call,

 

“Hi honey, how are you?” she asked happily, she was dying to know if Cas had talked to Dean, but she couldn’t just ask,

 

“Fine, hum... listen, wanna do something today? Maybe a movie and then dinner?” he asked, he really wasn’t in the mood for a date, he was actually hoping that Lisa would say no.

 

“That sounds perfect, at what time?” she asked,

 

“I can pick you up at seven,” he said,

 

“Don’t you usually pick up Cas at that hour from his dad’s house?” she asked, she finally found a way to bring Cas in the conversation.

 

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to happen again … we’re… we’re not roomies anymore, it’s a long story, I’ll tell you later, I hum, I’m helping Bobby out with some stuff, I’ll pick you up at seven, okay?” he said, he definitely wasn’t in the mood to have this conversation on the phone.

 

“Okay honey, see you later,” she answered.

 

“Yeah, bye,” he said before hanging up. When he turned around Bobby was looking at him,

 

“What?” he asked,

 

“You look so happy when you talk to that girl,” said Bobby sarcastically,

 

“C’mon man, I’m trying,” said Dean,

 

“Maybe you should wait a little Dean, ask her for a time and really evaluate what’s going on,” suggested Bobby,

 

“No, Cas wanted me to move on and have a normal adult life, well, this is me doing it,” said Dean stubbornly.

 

“You know what? Do whatever you want,” said Bobby, he turned around and started to walk away,

 

“Where are you going?” asked Dean,

 

“To paint a sign with the words ‘I told you so’,” answered Bobby.

 

Dean just rolled his eyes and let his uncle go. _‘He doesn’t understand, nobody does,I know exactly what I’m doing’_ he thought, the truth was that he didn’t, but nobody needed to know that.

* * *

 

Charlie, Gabe, Nik and Cas were all sharing the couch, covered in blankets and eating vegetables soup (except for Nik, he was just sleeping on Charlie’s lap); they were watching a marathon of ‘face off,’ the three were big fans of the show.

 

“I can’t believe I’m eating healthy food on a Saturday, said Charlie during commercials,

 

“Cas needs this,” said Gabe; Charlie smiled thinking that it was a sweet gesture from Gabe.

 

“Depression and emotional breakdowns can mess with the immune system, that’s why I asked Gabriel to buy me some vitamins, that’s also the reason for us to be eating this delicious soup,” said Cas,

 

“Jesus, I feel like I learned more about mental health today than in my whole life,” said Charlie,

 

“That happens when I become part of your life I suppose,” said Cas, “sorry,”

 

“Hey, it’s fine, I like learning new stuff and I like knowing that I can help you,” said Charlie with a smile.

 

“Shut up, you two, it’s starting again,” said Gabriel. They went back to paying attention to the TV.

* * *

 

Dean and Lisa walked in the restaurant holding hands, Lisa had chosen the place, it was a small Japanese restaurant. After they sat at their table and ordered their food, Lisa decided that she couldn’t keep waiting, she needed to find out what happened with Cas,

 

“So, you said on the phone that you and Cas aren’t roomies anymore, what happened? You didn’t fight again did you?” asked Lisa with a fake innocent expression,

 

“Well, on Thursday, we were having dinner, you know? Like any other day and suddenly Cas tells me that he wants to move out of the apartment,” said Dean.

 

“Oh my God, why?” asked Lisa pretending to be surprised,

 

“Basically because he wants to prove himself that he can live on his own and be a responsible adult… he practically said that we were living like in a comfort zone and we needed to move on with our lives and search for what’s next,” explained Dean, he gave her a short version of the story, he didn’t want to mention the words ‘he thinks that moving on with my life means getting married and having kids’ in front of Lisa. Lisa remained silent, Castiel’s reasons actually sounded realistic.

 

“And he moved out that same day? Wow, he really wanted to move on with his life right away, didn’t he?” she was trying to hide her happiness,

 

“Actually, I couldn’t let him do it, he hates changes, I thought it would be easier for him to start a new life if he at least had a familiar place to live at, so I moved out of the apartment,” said Dean,

 

“What?” Lisa was really surprised, she wasn’t expecting that reaction from Dean, “so where are you living now?” she asked,

 

“Bobby’s” said Dean,

 

“Oh my God, Dean! You weren’t supposed to, I mean… isn’t it weird to go back to your uncle’s house after all these years?” she asked clearly upset,

 

“Nah, It’s fine for now, I’ll look for my own place eventually, but right now I’m cool staying at Bobby’s,” he said.

 

Lisa was furious, this wasn’t the way she had planned it, though maybe she could use it in her favor, Dean would get tired of living with Bobby sooner or later and then she would casually ask that they moved in together.

 

“Why are you smiling?” asked Dean,

 

“Oh, nothing I just think it’s cute that you love your uncle so much,” said Lisa.

 

The waitress arrived with their food; they thanked her and began to eat. Lisa wasn’t ready to drop the subject,

 

“so, have you talked to Castiel?” she asked,

 

“No, not since Thursday, I wanted to give him some space, I don’t want him to feel like I’m mother henning him, you think I’m doing the right thing?” he asked,

 

“Of course honey, beside if he wanted to talk to you, he would’ve called already, right?” she knew Cas would never call Dean.

 

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” said Dean with a sad smile.

* * *

 

“Are you sure you don’t want us to stay? We don’t mind,” said Charlie,

 

“I’m fine Charlie, I promise,” Cas insisted.

 

“Okay, but call me if you need anything,” she said,

 

“I don’t own a phone at the moment,” Cas joked; Charlie rolled her eyes, at least Cas was in a better mood now,

 

“Well then use facebook, or twitter, or facetime or smoke signals or any other way of communication, the point is, if you need anything just let us know,”

 

“Okay, I promise, I’ll tweet you guys tomorrow when I wake up,” said Cas with a smile,

 

“Okay Cassie, take care of yourself, and please don’t forget to eat... ” said Gabe.

 

“Stop worrying, I’m fine,” said Cas.

 

“Okay, okay… we’re leaving now, see you little brother,”

 

“Goodbye guys, thanks for helping me today,”

 

“It was nothing Cas,” said Charlie.

 

The redhead and Gabriel walked out of the apartment closing the door behind them.

 

Cas turned off the lights of the apartment and walked back to his room, he grabbed the ipad from his backpack then picked Nik from the floor and climbed into bed.

 

“Can I tell you a secret Nikola Tesla?” asked Castiel, the little dog just stared at him, “it’s only been a couple of days and I already miss Dean… do you think he misses me?” The puppy got comfortable lying next to his owner. Cas turned on his ipad and saw all the messages and lost facetime calls from Charlie and Gabe, he felt lucky of having such amazing people in his life.

 

Cas decided to check facebook, he told himself he just wanted to distract himself before falling asleep, but the truth was that he wanted to check Dean’s wall. He clicked on the search bar and typed Dean’s name then waited a few seconds for the page to load, he immediately remembered the saying ‘curiosity killed the cat’, the first thing he saw was an instagram picture in which Dean had been tagged, it was from Lisa, Cas read: ‘Night out with my awesome boyfriend. Having so much fun.'It was a selfie, they were smiling and it looked like they were at a restaurant.

 

Cas felt miserable again, here he was feeling like shit and missing Dean, and the guy was out, having dinner with his ‘amazing girlfriend’. Cas turned off the iPad and placed it on his bedside table, then he removed his glasses and placed them next to the iPad; he closed his eyes and tried to convince himself that he had done the right thing, Dean was happy and that was all that mattered.

* * *

 

“Hello son, you’re home early,” said Bobby when he saw Dean walking in the living room.

 

“Lisa has church tomorrow pretty early, so… yeah,” answered Dean, he looked tired.

 

“Hmm,” was all Bobby had to say, he returned his attention to the book he was reading.

 

“Gonna hit the hay Bobby,” informed Dean,

 

“Okay… did you talk to Cas?” asked Bobby,

 

“No, I’m trying to give him some space, I’ll text him tomorrow to see if I can go pick up my stuff,” said Dean,

 

“You can use my old pickup if you want,” said Bobby.

 

“Oh, thanks Bobby, that would be awesome,” answered Dean,

 

“Tell me if you need any help with the moving,”

 

“Yeah, goodnight Bobby,” Dean walked straight to his room.

 

He walked into his bathroom and brushed his teeth, he refrained from looking himself on the mirror though; after that, he removed his jeans and his shirt and went to bed. He couldn’t stop thinking about Cas, it was ridiculous; he grabbed his phone to check if maybe he had any text from him, but he didn’t; he placed the phone under his pillow and sighed, he was being pathetic, it had only been a couple of days since he left, Cas needed his space and his time to adjust, it was obvious.

 

He remained silent, staring at the ceiling, trying to clear his mind; he could feel a few tears rolling from his eyes but he ignored them, eventually he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it, again i'm sorry for the angst but i don't like plain stories without a nice twist and a little drama. I love you all, thanks for reading and i promise i'll try to finish the new Chapter ASAP. A lot of angst is coming but also a lot of cool stuff, so stay tuned.
> 
> Random fact: just like last time, i had a few problems with the text editor of AO3 so i ended up using HTML again, an it's now 4:23 am, don't say i never did anything nice for you guys haha. Now i'm going to sleep for 300 years, see ya.


	19. Jesus, that is so ‘Dean Winchester’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life after Dean moves out. Cas is trying to pretend that everything is okay. Dean is an idiot, Charlie and Bobby are saints and there's another big fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm finally back! So, the weirdest shit happened... a friend from Japan randomly showed up at my door because he woke up one day and decided to be a freaking tourist. So anyway, I spent the whole week showing him my city, teaching him some Spanish and practicing my English. That's why I didn't update earlier, every night by the time i went back home after the whole day of being a tourist guide, i just wanted to go to bed, i tried to write but i was super tired. Anyway, i finally found the time so, here it is, the next chapter. 
> 
> More angst, more drama... but again it was necessary. I hope you like it, i'm sorry again for the angst, but that's life kids, not everything is butterflies and rainbows. (I promise a happy ending). Again, thanks for reading, remember that English isn't my first language so i apologize for any mistake, enjoy...

* * *

 

Cas woke up relatively early for a Sunday; at exactly 10:30 am he sent a tweet to his brother and Charlie,

**@QueenOfMoondoor @IsItHalloweenYet Good morning, I just woke up. I’ll have breakfast and then take Nikola Tesla for a walk.**

After a couple of minutes he got a reply from Charlie,

**@Cas_Novak @IsItHalloweenYet Great! Have a nice day Cas! Let me know if you need anything. Gabe your twitter handle is awesome btw.**

He smiled and walked out of his room, Nik following behind, “I’ll just have a quick breakfast and then we can go outside Nikola Tesla, I don’t feel like going to the park though, maybe just a walk around the block,” said Cas; the little dog barked at him and then walked towards his bowl of food. Cas wasn’t that hungry but he knew he needed to eat; he opted for some instant oatmeal and a cup of his favorite tea. He was waiting for his breakfast to be ready when he got a tweet from Gabe too,

**@Cas_Novak great little bro! Say hi to Nik from me. @QueenOfMoondoor thnks Charlie, I’m following you now ;)**

Cas smiled, he loved that his favorite brother was becoming friends with Charlie. He had his breakfast in silence just reading news on his iPad. He was reading an article about an exhibition in a local museum of art when he got a text from Dean. He wasn’t expecting it,

**Hey Cas, tried to call U but I think there’s something wrong with Ur phone. Are you there?**

Cas took a deep breath,

**Yes, It is not working. How are you texting me?**

**I have that iMessage shit on my iPod. Anyway, Can I drop by tomorrow? I need 2 pick up some stuff.**

So apparently Dean was finally using his iPod for more than music and Candy crush, Castiel smiled and answered right away,

**Yes, just let me know what time**

Dean took a few minutes to answer, Cas stood up and placed his dishes in the sink then he walked to his room and put on his shoes. When he returned to the dinning room the screen of his iPad was announcing a new message,

**7 pm Ok?**

**Yes, see you tomorrow Dean.**

After replying the message, Cas went to the bathroom to brush his theet, then he called Nik and tied the leash to his collar, before leaving he checked his iPad again,

**Ok, see ya.**

He thought of answering something else, making some conversation but the truth was that he wasn’t ready, he also needed to stay calm, the last thing he wanted was to have another meltdown, Dean would be visiting next day and he couldn’t see him looking like that. He placed the iPad back on the table and walked out of the apartment with his dog, he definitely wasn’t in the mood but he could use some fresh air.

* * *

 

Dean called Cas for the fifth time after washing the impala, the call sent to voicemail again,

 

“What has your panties in a twist?” asked Bobby,

 

“I’m trying to call Cas but it goes straight to voicemail, I think his phone isn’t working,”

 

“Why don’t you ask Gabe?” asked Bobby, he walked towards a small cooler next to the car and grabbed a bottle of water. Dean picked his iPod from his pocked and unlocked it,

 

“I’ll text him, if his phone is not working he can read it on his iPad,” said Dean; he planned his text, he didn’t want to sound like he was worried, he changed the last part from ‘are you okay? To ‘Are you there?’ ant then sent it.

 

**Hey Cas, tried to call U but I think there’s something wrong with Ur phone. Are you there?**

Cas answered almost immediately,

**Yes, It is not working. How are you texting me?**

Dean smiled, Cas was apparently okay,

 

“Any luck?” asked Bobby,

 

“Yeah, he’s fine, I was right, his phone’s not working,” answered Dean; Bobby nodded.

 

**I have that iMessage shit on my iPod. Anyway, Can I drop by tomorrow? I need 2 pick up some stuff.**

He was trying really hard not to look like an asshole but at the same time he wanted to give Cas his space,

**Yes, just let me know what time**

 

“Great, I’ve only been gone for a few days and he already has a busy schedule,” complained Dean,

 

“You jealous?” asked Bobby with a smirk; Dean just rolled his eyes.

 

“No, I mean it’s okay that he’s going on with his life, I just thought…”

 

“What? That he would be sending you pictures of sad puppies?” teased Bobby,

 

“You’re not helping, just… forget it, he wants to know at what time are we going,” said Dean in resignation,

 

“I can ask one of the guys to close the garage and we can go after your shift,” said Bobby,

 

“So, seven?” asked Dean,

 

“Sure,” said Bobby. Dean replied to Cas,

 

**7 pm Ok?**

He waited a couple of minutes to get an answer from Cas, he sat down on the cooler.

**Yes, see you tomorrow Dean.**

 

Maybe it was his imagination but, since when did texting his best friend turned into such a formal thing? Maybe he was just overreacting, Cas wasn’t being rude, just writing short messages. For a moment Dean though about telling him that he missed him or maybe ask Cas to join him for lunch, but it was ridiculous, Cas needed his space, it wasn’t his fault that Dean was so needy. In the end he opted for a short message too.

**Ok, see ya.**

Now he needed to get mentally ready to see Cas.

* * *

 

Cas skipped work on Monday too; on Sunday night he sent an e-mail to Benny to ask if he was needed at the office, Benny replied saying that it was okay if he took the day off, but there would be a meeting on Tuesday and he needed to show up for that. Cas loved having a job that allowed him to have a few days off when he needed it. He spent the whole morning of Monday cleaning up the apartment; He wanted to prove to Dean that he was doing fine on his own; luckily Gabe had restocked the kitchen, that was one less thing from his list.

He cleaned his room, changed his blankets and opened the windows to let some fresh air in. He even gave Nik a bath, “Great, now I’m turning into a neat-freak,” said Cas while drying the bathtub after Nik’s bath.

Cas was washing the dishes from dinner when he heard a knock on the door, he looked at the clock, 7:03 pm; he removed the latex gloves and walked towards the door, he looked through the peephole and saw Dean and Bobby waiting in the hallway. After taking a deep breath he opened the door; he stood still, awkwardly staring at Dean. The Winchester wasn’t even looking at Cas, apparently he was finding his shoes very fascinating at the moment, Bobby decided to interrupt the uncomfortable silence,

“Hey Cas! Nice to see ya’ son!” said Bobby; Cas snapped out of his trance and directed his attention towards Bobby,

 

“Hello Bobby, Dean… please, come in” Cas opened the door widely and stepped aside to let his visit in.

 

“Humm... hi Cas,” said Dean scratching the back of his neck, he looked around for a few seconds trying to avoid his friend’s gaze, “Place looks spotless,”

 

“Thanks, I dedicated the weekend to cleaning up a little…” answered Cas awkwardly,

 

“Cool, hmmm… anyway we’re just gonna go into my, I mean, the room and pack my stuff, if that’s okay with you,” said Dean,

 

“Sure, no problem, I left a few boxes in there for you in case you need them, there’s beer in the fridge too…I’ll be at the laundry room, let me know if you need anything else,” answered Cas; he had no idea where was he getting the strength from, but he was acting pretty confident and detached, more than Dean at least. Bobby smiled and nodded,

“Okay son, thanks,” answered Bobby. Cas turned around and walked towards the kitchen; Dean and Bobby stood in the hallway for a few more seconds until they heard the door of the small laundry room closing, “He seems okay,” said Bobby,

“Yeah,” answered Dean with a sad expression, ‘why is he taking this so well? I thought he would be a mess, that he would miss me’ he thought ‘Jesus Dean, listen to yourself can you be more selfish?’

“You okay boy?” asked Bobby,

“Yeah, just… lets go pack my stuff,” said Dean trying not to sound disappointed.

 

* * *

 

Cas set another load of laundry and then sat down on the floor, the room was small but comfortable; he needed to calm down before going back outside; he closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing, after 10 minutes he decided he was ready and walked out of the room.

He could hear Dean and Bobby talking inside Dean’s room; the door was ajar. He definitely wasn’t ready to be in the same room as Dean for a long period of time without crying like a baby, so he opted for busying himself in the kitchen. He unplugged the coffeemaker and put it in a paper bag with a can of coffee. Then he walked towards the living room and stared at the wall filled with all their videogames, now that was going to be hard. After a few minutes of deliberation he concluded that he could live without the consoles in his house, Dean was a biggest fan of videogames to be honest. He carefully packed every console back in their boxes (yes, they still had every original box), then he grabbed all the videogames and placed them in a big plastic box, he made sure of separating them according to the console.

Separating their Blu-rays and DVDs was proving to be a more difficult task, he spent almost half an hour dividing the movies on two plies: mine & Dean’s. Most of the foreign movies were Castiel’s; the Star Wars saga was Dean’s, Star Trek went to Castiel. He felt like he was breaking apart a family when he had to separate the marvel section: Cap 1 and 2, Iron man 3, age of Ultron and Thor 2 went to Cas, the rest were Dean’s. He was taping the box whit Dean’s movies when Dean and Bobby walked into the living room,

“Everything okay?” asked Cas,

“Yeah, I was going to pack this stuff later,” said Dean pointing at the empty shelves at the living room, “but I guess you beat me to it,”

“Yes, I hope you don’t mind, I was trying to save you some work,” said Cas trying not to blush,

“Yeah no problem Cas, wait, what’s all this?” asked Dean when he saw the consoles packed on a corner of the living room,

“Oh, you can take those, you enjoy videogames more than I do,” said Cas with a shy smile,

“Cas c’mon man, we both bought this shit together, I can’t just take it all,” said Dean,

“Dean, it’s okay, really, I don’t play that much, besides if I want to play I can always go to Dad’s we have all the consoles there as well, or to Charlie’s or even Kraken, so it’s fine, really, you’re the gamer here,” said Cas with a resolute expression.

“Humm… okay, thanks… really,” Dean was trying really hard to stop himself from crying, why did Cas have to be the better person always?

“What’s that?” asked Bobby pointing at a paper bag next to the consoles,

“Oh, the coffeemaker, I don’t drink coffee, it would be a waste to keep it here,” said Cas,

“I also divided our movies, that was a hard task, but I think everything is in order.”

“Okay, why don’t we upload all this shit into my truck,” said Bobby,

“I’ll help you,” said Cas, he grabbed the box with Dean’s movies and the coffeemaker.

 

An hour later Bobby’s pickup was full of Dean’s stuff; they had also placed a few boxes on the backseat of the impala,

“Okay, that was the last box,” said Bobby closing Baby’s door, "we’re all set,”

“Thanks Bobby, you can go ahead if you want, I need to talk to Cas,” said Dean,

“Sure, no problem son, I’ll pick up a pizza on my way home, see ya later, good night Cas,” said Bobby,

“Good night Bobby, thanks for everything,” said Cas with a sad smile, he hugged Bobby.

“Everything’s gonna be fine son,” Bobby Whispered to Castiel’s ear. Cas smiled and thanked him again.

 

* * *

 

After Bobby left, Dean leaned on Baby and turned his attention to Cas. Castiel felt like it was the first time since they arrived that Dean had actually looked at him in the eye,

“I see you’re doing fine,” said Dean almost in a whisper,

“I’m trying to adapt, it’s not easy but, baby steps I guess,” said Cas trying to sound brave,

“Cas, I… I’m not gonna lie, this is hard for me, you know? But the last few days I’ve been thinking and you were right, we need to stop being so dependent of each other, that’s not healthy… so, I hmmm… I think it would be better for us if we don’t see each other for a while,” said Dean.

“I thought you weren’t upset,” said Cas,

“Cas, I’m not… I mean, of course I’m little upset, you took a decision for me man, but that’s fine I get it, you had your reasons… now I’m doing the same, I’m taking a decision based on what I think is best for me right now… and well, I think we need some time apart,” said Dean sounding bitter,

“Okay, if that’s what you want,” said Cas heartbroken,

“Oh no, don’t go all sad eyes on me man, I respected your fucking decision and moved out of the house, now you have to respect mine, I didn’t make a scene when I fucking left,” Dean yelled, he said that last part without thinking,

“I’m not making a scene Dean, I’m not the one yelling on the middle of the street, am I?” answered Cas,

“Okay,I don’t wanna fight… just listen, really Cas, this is the best for both of us, I’m not stopping being your best friend, you can call me if you need anything… I’m just saying, we need a fresh start… we really need to stop doing everything together, do you understand?” explained Dean,

“Yes Dean, I’m not stupid,” answered Cas rolling his eyes,

“You know what? I can’t talk when you’re acting like this… call me when you really feel like having a mature conversation,” said Dean clearly upset, if he was honest with himself he was acting like a child too,

“Wow Dean, I really like this new side of you, you went from blaming yourself for everything to blaming me for everything in four days, congratulations,” Said Cas, what the hell was wrong with Dean? Trying to patronize him. Dean stared at him in shock, that was a low punch coming from Cas, _‘when the fuck did the conversation turned this way?’_

“Cas, I don’t want to fuck things up even more, I don’t want to say hurtful things,” said Dean in resignation,

“Then leave, but don’t pretend that everything is alright when you just said that you still have things to say… hurtful things,” said Cas, he crossed his arms clearly upset,

“See? This is why we need to take some time out,” said Dean,

“I’M NOT YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND!” yelled Cas, even he was surprised of what had just happened,

“What?” Asked Dean in shock,

“I’m your friend, friends are supposed to talk about their problems, to help each other and to listen… not to run away when you stop being comfortable… That’s what you used to do with your girlfriends when we were young; you weren’t comfortable anymore and the first thing you did? Use your famous ‘we should take some time out’,” Dean kept staring at Cas with wide eyes, “I know I was the one who decided that one of us needed to move out, but I never said that I wanted to stop talking to you, I did this to improve our lives not to lose my friend, so please Dean, tell me... give me a good reason… why do you think that we need to stop hanging out?” asked Cas.

He didn’t know what he was expecting to hear; maybe Dean had finally realized that Cas was annoying, that he wasn’t a good friend. Maybe he woke up that day and thought _‘I don’t like Cas anymore… I’m going to pretend that I need some time to figure things out and then I’m never calling him again.’_ Dean stared at his best friend for a minute, he knew seeing Cas so soon would be a terrible idea, he should have sent Bobby to pick up his stuff. What the hell was he supposed to say? _‘Cas I need to stop seeing you for a while because I’m madly in love with you and it hurts like hell knowing that you want to move on with your life and that you’ll never love me… yeah, that’s gold Winchester,’_

“Dean, I’m waiting for an answer,” said Cas,

“Cas… I… I can’t okay? Not right now, just… please,” Dean closed his eyes in defeat,

“Whatever,” said Cas, he turned around and walked back into the building.

* * *

 

Cas closed the door of the apartment behind him and sat on the floor, he just leaned there, unable to move or do anything else. He could feel his heart beating faster, his mouth beginning to dry… he didn’t want this, he wasn’t ready… he had a meeting next morning; he didn’t have time for a meltdown. He gathered all his strength and stood up, he walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, then he walked straight to his room.

He opened his closet and grabbed a wooden box from the top shelf then he walked towards his bed. Once he was sitting on his bed he opened the box and grabbed a small bottle with pills, he took only one half of a pill, it would be enough to help him sleep like a baby. After placing the box and his glasses on his bedside table, he grabbed his iPad and set his alarm to wake up on time for work, then he curled himself into a small ball and waited for sleep to come.

* * *

 Dean cried during the whole drive back to Bobby’s; he was a mess and he couldn’t help it. ‘What the fuck did just happen?’ he kept repeating. He felt like an idiot, of all the ways there existed to let Cas know that he needed some space; he had gone and treated Cas like a middle school girlfriend.

When he finally reached Bobby’s, his uncle was already unloading the truck; Dean helped him to move the boxes to his room and he cried during the whole process, Bobby didn’t say a word.

* * *

 

Cas woke up feeling rested, he was still sad about Dean, but at least he didn’t look like a zombie and that was all that mattered. He decided to walk to his office, so he got out of the apartment with plenty of time. It was 8:40 when he arrived to Kraken, it was too early, they all usually arrived after 9, so he decided to kill some time going for a cup of tea to Starbucks, the place was only a couple of blocks away from Kraken.

The rest of the morning went by pretty fast, they had their meeting, Benny had found two new clients, a small dental clinic that wanted a website and a shoe store that would be opening in a few months, they wanted a logo, a digital catalog of their products and a website.

The guys planned a schedule for their work, Ash would be working on the website for the dental clinic and Charlie on the other one. Cas, Benny and Kevin would work on the designs for both projects.

“Does this mean we’re not having spring break this year?” asked Kevin clearly disappointed,

“No way, I already have plans man, I’m going to Cancun and I’ll only drink tequila and eat tacos during the whole trip,” said Ash,

“You do realize that except for Kevin, we’re not in school anymore, right?” Said Benny. “this being said, we’ll be able to finish this projects on time if we work on schedule, today is February second, you think we can finish this by I don’t know? Say March 18th? That way we can take the week from 21 to 27, Ash can go to Cancun, I can visit my girlfriend and you guys can do whatever you want for a week,” he said with a smile.

They all laughed and agreed to work hard, the page for the Italian restaurant was almost finished so they would be starting with the new projects later that week.

“I already finished my part for the Italian restaurant, I can start working on the new projects already,” said Cas,

“Well, the dental clinic already has a logo, the page needs to be designed from scratch, I was thinking maybe Kevin could take care of that, so you can work on the shoe store,” said Benny searching through his papers,

“Okay, sounds fine,” said Cas.

Ash and Charlie went back to the studio to finish their remaining work; Cas, Benny and Kevin stayed at the conference room to work on the creative part of their new projects.

* * *

 

“Ready to go?” Asked Charlie gathering her stuff, it was already 5 pm. Cas stretched on his chair like a cat and then he turned off his computer.

“Ready to go,” he said with a smile,

“Okay, lets go get you a freaking phone dude, I feel like I’m best friends with Fred Flintstone,” said Charlie. Cas smile widely, Charlie saw him as her best friend.

* * *

 

Charlie drove them to the mall; they walked straight to Best Buy as soon as they arrived.

“You’re totally using this as an excuse to get the iPhone 6 aren’t you?” asked Charlie with a smile. Cas smiled back and guided her to the iPhone section.

“Hi, can I help you with anything?” said a voice from behind them, they turned around to see a nice young woman with red hair and blue eyes, wearing the store uniform, she was on a wheelchair and was spotting a huge smile,

“Hi, yes… I’m looking for an iPhone 6, space gray, 128 GB please,” said Cas. The girl smiled,

“Wow, you really know what you’re looking for… okay, I’ll be right back with your phone, any carrier in particular?”

“Oh yeah, AT&T please,” the woman nodded and went to look for the phone.

They looked around for a few minutes; Charlie picked a new case for her phone and Cas a new one for his iPad.

“Okay, here it is… care to join me to help you set up this beauty?” Said the girl. They followed her to a row of desks with computers, she pointed a Desk and they sat down in front of it. The woman asked for Cas’ information to register the phone, it took them about five minutes to be done with that.

“Cas, don’t you want them to put your old number in this phone?” asked Charlie,

“Oh yeah, we can do that, do you have your old chip with you?” asked the woman.

“No, it’s fine, I want a new number, my data plan had expired a month ago anyway, so this is fine, I want a new phone, new number and new data plan,” said Cas smiling at Charlie, she immediately noticed that there was something going on with Cas.

They finished with all the set up, paid for all the stuff they got (Cas also bought a case for his new phone) and said goodbye to the nice lady (her name was Daisy). They walked out of the store, Cas clearly happy with his acquisition.

“What now?” asked Charlie.

“Are you hungry?” asked Cas;

“That’s my secret… I’m always hungry,” she said with a smile.

“Okay she hulk, lets find something to eat,” said Cas.

They walked towards the food court and bought a couple of burgers. Cas usually didn’t like to eat at the mall, but it was a Tuesday so the place was pretty empty.

“Are you okay Cas?” asked Charlie after a while.

“Dean picked up his stuff yesterday,” he said chewing on an onion ring.

“Wow, everything okay? Did you, humm…”

“Have a meltdown? No, ” Cas interrupted her,

“Oh, okay… did you guys talk?”

“We argued again,” said Cas with a sad expression.

“What? Why?” Charlie was clearly worried for her friends,

“He tried to use the ‘we need some time out’ speech with me. I mean I get it, he’s upset, but not talking to each other seems to me the wrong way to work on our friendship… I told him that of course, then I asked him to tell me his true reason to take that choice,” he took a sip from his iced tea.

“What did he say?” asked Charlie,

“He didn’t have an answer, he apparently had a lot to say but he didn’t want to hurt my feelings so he decided that it would be better to just stop hanging out for a while,”

“So instead of talking about his issues he runs away?” asked Charlie,

“Basically,”

“Jesus, that is so ‘Dean Winchester’,” said Charlie rolling her eyes.

“I don’t know how but the talk turned into a heated discussion and we said some things that we shouldn’t have, I admit it, we both were stupid, but at least I wanted to talk things out, he just treated me as if I were one of his middle school girlfriends,” said Cas sadly,

“What?”

“When he was in middle school he dated a lot of girls, but it didn’t last more than a month with any of them, and whenever he got tired of them he would use the ‘we should take some time out’ speech. He pretended that he cared so much about their relationship that they needed to take some time apart to fix things,”

“Such a gentleman,” joked Charlie. They kept eating in silence for a while.

“I yelled at him,” said Cas, “I screamed ‘I’m not your fucking girlfriend’ at his face, I think even Sam was able to hear that back in Palo Alto,”

“Oh, so that was you?” asked Charlie with a serious expression,

“What?” asked Cas with wide eyes,

“I’m joking Cas, chillax dude… it’s fine that you didn’t keep that stuff inside, you know? I mean, fighting is never an option, but I’m pretty sure that Dean was being an ass,” said Charlie.

“We both were,”

“How did things ended anyway? Did you fix things?”

“After he refused to give me an explanation for his decision, I turned around and walked back to the building, I didn’t stop walking until I was inside the apartment …”

“Wow… has he called?” asked Charlie,

“No, I don’t think he will, and even if he does… I changed my number,” said Cas with a sad smile.

“Wow, you’re really giving him the silent treatment,”

“That’s what he wants anyway,” said Cas.

“And how are you feeling? I mean, he’s your best friend Cas, he has been for years, you can’t just finish a friendship like that and move on with your life like nothing happened,”

“I’m not going to lie, I’m sad, I feel weird but, I thing I haven’t really assimilated it yet… I’ll probably wake up one day and say ‘shit, Dean is no longer part of my life’ and then I’ll start crying and listening to Andrew Bird while I eat ice cream and stare at the window,” he was trying to make it sound like a joke, but deep inside he knew it was actually true.

“Well whenever that happens, I’ll be there okay? It doesn’t matter if it happens in the middle of the night on a freaking Wednesday, you call me and I’ll be there and I’ll bring ice cream,” Charlie placed her hand over Cas’, he smiled and stared at his friend with a look that clearly meant ‘thank you’.

* * *

  

Dean woke up feeling pretty tired. He was sure though that the tiredness was more mental than physical. He rolled out of bed and dragged his feet to the bathroom.

“Jesus,” he said when he saw his reflection on the mirror; his eyes were red and swollen from all the crying. He was totally going to wear sunglasses at work, _‘great, I’m going to look like a douchebag,’_ he thought. Once he was ready he walked downstairs to find Bobby making breakfast.

“Morning, son” greeted Bobby,“Crap, did you sleep at all?” asked Bobby when he saw Dean’s face.

“Does it look that bad?” asked Dean grabbing a cup of coffee.

“Well it looks like you spent the whole night crying, but what do I know, right?” said Bobby trying to hide his concern with a little humor. Dean ignored Bobby’s comment and walked towards the stove to the scrambled eggs that Bobby had cooked.

“Wanna take the day off, son?” asked Bobby,

“No thanks Bobby, the last thing I want is to stay here alone with my thoughts, at least at work I get to distract myself,” said Dean while eating his breakfast. Bobby sat in front of him and began to eat as well, after a while he couldn’t take the silence anymore,

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“There’s not much to say, you know? We talked, we argued and apparently we're not friends anymore,” said Dean trying to hide his sadness.

“Just like that? You ain’t friends anymore? What are you? 12?” said Bobby clearly upset.

“Well shit happens, you know? Apparently we’ve grown apart or something,”

“Dean, if this is your way of ‘getting Castiel out of your heart,’ I’m sorry son but you’re a moron,” said Bobby standing up.

“Jesus Bobby, tell me how you really feel,”

“Listen son, it’s your freaking life, you can do whatever you want with it, but hurting Cas with your stupid decisions just ain’t right,” said Bobby, he placed his dishes in the sink,

“Great, so Cas is the one who freaks out and yells at me but I’m the bad guy,” said Dean,

“There’s not a bad or a good guy here Dean, if it makes you feel better, you’re both idjits,” said Bobby walking out of the kitchen.

Dean just sat there in shock, what was it with everyone these days? He was just trying to do the right thing.

* * *

 

Work was hell for Dean, he just wanted to be left alone and stay in his office all day doing some paperwork, but apparently it was ‘Lets annoy Dean Winchester National Day’. Alfie spent the whole morning asking for Dean’s help, normally he wouldn’t care but this wasn’t a normal day. When lunchtime came he realized that he had forgotten his lunch at home, luckily Bobby shared half of his lunch with him. A lot of crap kept happening during the day, everything made him think of Cas and he was pretty sure that all the clocks in the garage were plotting against him and stopped working. At the end of the day he decided to stay a little longer after they closed, Bobby said goodbye,

“I’ll start dinner, don’t stay here too late,” said Bobby,

“Yeah, it won’t take me more than an hour,” said Dean without taking his eyes off the screen of his computer.

Exactly 47 minutes later, Dean was locking up the garage; when he reached his car, he realized that he had a flat tire,“Fucking A,” he said. After opening the passenger door and throwing his stuff inside the car, he spent another 30 minutes changing the tire. By the time he was home, he was feeling totally miserable.

Dinner was already done, he ate as fast as he could and ran upstairs to his room. He just sat on the bed leaning against the headboard, he began to feel sleepy; he closed his eyes for a moment and let the tiredness take control of his body.

_“Give me a good reason… why do you think that we need to stop hanging out?” He could see Castiel’s face red with anger, he wanted to answer, tell him the truth but he couldn’t._

_“Cas… I… I can’t okay? Not right now, just… please,” He could see pain in Cas’s face, he had broken his friend’s heart._

_“Whatever,” said Cas, he turned around and walked away from Dean, he could feel tears rolling down his eyes._

Dean opened his eyes and realized that he was sitting on his bed and that he had fallen asleep. “I’m done with this shit,” he said; He grabbed his phone from his pocket and scrolled down his contacts, he stopped at Castiel’s name, he considered for a few seconds, he kept scrolling and at the end he found what he was looking for, Lisa’s contact.

**Hey Lis. Had an awful day. Wanna do something 2night?**

He texted; not even ten seconds passed before he got an answer,

**Sure honey. I’ll make you feel better, promise. Xoxo**

That was exactly what he needed, hanging out with Lisa until Cas was out of his heart.

* * *

 

Cas managed to avoid another meltdown with what he called ‘going robot mode’. It wasn’t his brightest idea, but it was the only way he knew. For the next few weeks after Dean left, Castiel just focused in basic tasks, his routine had become a list carved in his brain ‘wake up, get ready, walk Nik, go to work, work, go back home, walk Nik, feed Nik, have dinner, go to bed.’ On Saturdays Gabe would pick him up for breakfast and then drive him back at night, Nik would go with him as well. On Sundays he would clean up the apartment, do the laundry, buy some groceries and give Nik a bath.

Dean’s routine however consisted basically in partying the whole week, drinking and going out with Lisa every single day. Everything still made him think of Cas, and he obviously tried to fix that with more parties, alcohol and Lisa. Bobby was pretty sure that not even in his teenage years Dean was so annoying.

* * *

 

The guys at Kraken were worried about Cas but Charlie assured them that he was just trying to adjust to his new life without Dean. Charlie, Gabe and Chuck let him be, but they secretly kept an eye on him.

Cas was working pretty fast, even though he seemed miserable. The projects at Kraken were going perfectly fine, so eventually everybody was to busy to notice that Cas had also started to skip lunchtime every single day or that he was getting thinner. Charlie kept trying her best but Castiel kept repeating over and over again “I’m fine Charlie, I just want to finish this design as soon as I can,” Charlie would just roll her eyes and internally curse Dean Winchester, this situation was getting ridiculous.

* * *

 Almost a month after Dean moved Back to Bobby’s, the old man was ready to slap Dean.

Bobby was sitting at the kitchen table drinking Coffee and reading a newspaper when he heard the usual sound of feet being dragged.

“Morning Bobby,” said Dean with husky voice, he had obviously been up late again. Bobby didn’t answer. Dean kept walking towards the coffeemaker, poured himself a big cup of black coffee and grabbed a couple of aspirins from the drawer. After he finally sat at the table, Bobby directed his attention to him.

“Son, I wasn’t going to say anything, and you know that I love you and this will always be your home but… am I going to have to raise you through your teenage years again?” asked Bobby trying to keep his voice down.

“What?” asked Dean passing a hand through his hair.

“Dean, it’s been three weeks since you moved into this house, I was waiting for you to think things through… but apparently your second adolescence is even worse than your first one,” said Bobby clearly more upset.

“Oh, c’mon Bobby… I just had a few drinks and went out with my girl, what’s wrong with that?” asked Dean.

“Oh, sorry… you’re right, there ain’t nothing wrong with partying and drinking and going out with your girl for three weeks in a row, my bad,” answered Bobby sarcastically.

“Things are different now than in your times Bobby, you don’t understand,” said Dean trying to defend his dignity.

“Jesus, it’s really like having a teenager again…” Bobby stood up and walked out of the kitchen.

“I’ll see ya at work kid, don’t be late again,” yelled Bobby from the stairs.

* * *

 

“I’m worried about you,” Said Charlie. They were having dinner at a pizza parlor, Cas as usual looked like a zombie.

“Why? I’m okay,” lied Castiel.

“Cas c’mon this is getting ridiculous, I’m not stupid okay? I know that you’re sad and that you’re not eating as much as you should… I notice stuff,” said the redhead, she placed a big slice of pizza on her friend’s plate.

“I’m just trying to adapt okay? I’m fine, I’ve told you, if I ever feel like talking or if I have another meltdown, I’ll let you know,” answered Cas avoiding eye contact with his friend. They ate in silence for a while.

“It’s nice going out with you again,” said Charlie with a smile.

“What do you mean?” Asked Castiel.

“It’s been 2 weeks since we last went out,” said Charlie looking confused.

“Really? I haven’t been paying attention to time lately,” confessed Castiel.

“But you’re a 100% okay, right?” asked Charlie sarcastically.

“Charlie, please… I don’t want to talk about it,” said Cas with a sad expression.

“Okay, I’ll drop it.” They spent the rest of the evening eating in silence.

From time to time they would make a comment about the food or work, but nothing about Cas’s life.

* * *

 

“Do you want another drink, honey?” asked Lisa sitting on Dean’s lap. They were at a party of some friend of Lisa. Dean considered the offer for a minute,

“No, thanks Lis, Bobby doesn’t like it when I drink a lot on work days,” answered Dean. Lisa rolled her eyes. “What?” asked Dean.

“Nothing, I just knew that this would happen,” said Lisa, “you go back to your uncle’s house and next thing you know, he’s telling you how to live your life,”

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not like that… he’s right you know? I’m one of the bosses at the garage, I can’t show up at the place with a hangover every freaking day,”

“So what? Are we going to stop going out everyday?” she was playing very well her role of victim.

“No, I’m just going to leave the parties for the weekends, what do you think?” asked Dean, he put a lock of Lisa’s hair behind her ear in a tender way.

“Are you sure you want my opinion? Maybe you should ask your uncle,” said Lisa.

“Lis, don’t be like that… we can still go out every single day, you like that? Have dinner every night, maybe go to the park or to the movies…” She interrupted him with a kiss, “I’m gonna take that as a yes,” said Dean with a smile.

“Of course honey,” they spent the rest of the party talking and mostly making out, Dean decided to go back home early though, Bobby was right, he needed to stop acting like a child.

* * *

 

It took Cas the rest of the week but finally, on Friday, it happened.

He was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling when Nikola Tesla ran towards him rolling his ball, he obviously wanted to play, but Cas wasn’t in the mood. The little dog barked a few times and Cas turned around to look at his pet. He smiled at the dog and picked him from the floor then he placed Nik next to him on the bed.

“I know you want to play Nikola Tesla, but I’m tired,” said Cas. The dog licked his hand, “I’m sorry that you got a dad that’s so boring,” Cas began to rub Nik’s tummy. “I’m sorry that you got stuck here with me… your other dad was better at playing with you, I bet you miss him.” He remained silent for a few minutes, and then he realized, _‘did I just call Dean Nik’s other dad?’_ “Fuck… I miss him, I miss him so much,” said Cas with tears already in his eyes, “what did I do?” He was a sobbing mess, his little dog was looking at him with sad eyes, he obviously knew that something was wrong.

Cas grabbed his phone from his bedside table and dialed Charlie’s number,

“Charlie, you were right, I’m not okay… I feel like shit and I really miss Dean, can you please come over?” said Cas when Charlie picked up her phone.

“Of course Cas, I’ll be there in fifteen, I’ll bring ice cream,” answered Charlie.

Cas ended the call and placed the phone on the table again. He kept crying and rocking on the same spot, hugging Nik and waiting for Charlie to show up. After fifteen minutes he could hear the front door opening, then Charlie walked into his room. She placed the ice cream on Cas’s desk and ran towards the bed, she spent a few minutes cuddling with Cas until he finally managed to say something.

“I miss him Charlie, I’ve been avoiding it, but I miss him, my life sucks without him, I’ve already proven to myself that I can live by myself, but I don’t want to, I want him here, with me, and he’s not talking to me anymore, I lost him… and I, I don’t know how to function without him… I just asked Nikola Tesla if he missed his other dad… how screwed am I?” he said. Charlie stroked his hair and kept hugging him.

“Cas, you don’t have to tell me If you don’t want to but… what’s exactly the deal between you and Dean?” asked Charlie. Cas took a deep breath and considered it for a few seconds, he was tired of having to hide all that, he needed to share his feeling with someone, and he could trust Charlie.

“I love him, I’ve never told this to anyone, but I’m in love with Dean Winchester,” confessed Cas, he could feel a big burden lifting from his chest.

“Does he know?” asked Charlie,

“No, he doesn’t and he will never know… it’s complicated, I don’t want to get into details but a long time ago I decided to keep my feelings a secret, I hope that you can respect that Charlie, I just want him to be happy,” explained Cas. Charlie was in shock, she suspected that Dean had feelings for Cas, but she was sure that Cas was asexual.

“Holly fuck Cas, this changes everything… you must be feeling like shit,” she said.

“I am… I mean, at least before… he was with me, he was just my roommate but we were together all the time and I was happy with that, but now… he left, I don’t see him anymore, and he’s with Lisa,”

“Oh my God, Cas… this is a mess,” said Charlie,

“I know, and I’ll get used to it, I’ll do… it’s just that, right now, it hurts a lot and I can’t keep pretending that I’m okay… because I’m not, I don’t want to do anything stupid,” he confessed.

“Hey, no… look at me,” said Charlie; Cas turned around and looked Charlie in the eye, “we’re gonna get you some help okay? You’re not alone in this one… do you want to go back to antidepressants?” she asked,

“Yes… I think so,” answered Cas, he was crying again.

“Okay then, call your doctor, make an appointment for tomorrow and I’ll drive you, okay? Everything’s going to be fine, it’s okay to be sad Cas, but it’s also okay to ask for help, and you’re giving a big step today,” she said with a smile. Cas nodded and grabbed his phone from the table again,

“Can you call her?” he asked,

“Of course, what’s her name?” asked Charlie,

“Doctor Norton,” said Cas. Charlie smiled and called the number, she made an appointment for next afternoon; usually the doctor didn’t receive patients on Saturdays, but she had been Cas’s psychiatrist for ages, so she didn’t mind.

“Okay, I’m driving you tomorrow, I’ll pick you up at four from Chuck’s and then we’ll go to see your doctor,

“Thanks Charlie,” said Cas.

“In the meantime, there’s no better way to go through a break up than eating junk food and watching movies, so I brought a bunch of crappy movies and ice cream, I’ll order some Chinese and we’re having a sleepover.

“I love you Charlie,” said Cas with a shy smile,

“I love you too Cas, now c’mon, out of that bed.” She helped him get out of bed; he changed into his pajamas while Charlie called their usual place to order Chinese.

They watched the movies while having dinner, Charlie wanted to know more about Dean’s subject but she didn’t ask, Cas told her a few more things though. After the second movie, they were cuddling on the couch,

“Cas… thanks for talking to me… and for telling me your secret,” she whispered,

“Thank you for being my friend Charlie,” said Cas. After five minutes Charlie talked again,

“Oh, by the way… there’s no way I’m leaving you here during spring break, you, Nik and I are going to California,” said Charlie with a smile.

“You know what? That might actually be a great idea,” said Cas.

“Disney, here we go!” said Charlie.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I think the angst is going to end pretty soon, next chapter is all about Cas's self acceptance and self discovery journey. I have all that planned already, i'm still having a little trouble with Dean, i mean, i obviously want him to end his relationship with Lisa, but i also want him to grow up as a person, i have a few ideas though... i'll think about it later when i go to bed... 
> 
> Also, as you saw, I wrote a little about depression in this chapter. Depression isn't funny and sometimes you can go for a long time without realizing that you have it. If you're depressed guys, it's not your fault, sometimes it happens, just remember to ask for help; i've been there a few times and i know that in that moment it might seem like nobody can help you, but believe me, everyone around you is willing to help, you just need to ask.
> 
> Thanks for reading i hope you liked it, and i promise i'll update soon (unless another random friend from a distant land decides to show up at my apartment this week too). 
> 
> Stay safe guys! I love you! :D


	20. Dean? What are you thinking?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas goes back to antidepressants, Jill and Michael are in town, and Charlie joins the Novaks in their usual Saturday gathering.  
> Dean and Lisa have a big fight and he finds out the kind of person he's dating. Dean has to take a decision on what's he going to do with his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm sorry i've been gone for so long! That's what happens when you grow up, you have to do adult stuff ... so i've been a little busy. I'm going to this big illustration and animation event in a couple of weeks and i've been busy getting ready for that, but i also want to keep this updated, i'm trying to write as much as i can before i go (because the event is in another city) and i actually have half of the next chapter ready.
> 
> So yeah, here's a new chapter, hopefully everyone will be happy with it.
> 
> (I describe a little the symptoms of Cas after he starts to take his antidepressants, it's not that graphic and it acutaly happens pretty fast, still warning you in case you've been there and you don't want to trigger bad memories.)
> 
> Thanks for reading and for your patience :)

 

* * *

 

Gabriel walked into the kitchen with a big smile,

“Cas called, Charlie is driving him today… we invited her over, by the way,” he said sitting next to his father.

“That’s fine, I think Charlie is great company for Castiel,” said Chuck with a smile, he took a sip from his cup of coffee. Michael was sitting next to Chuck reading a newspaper,

“You’re so desperate for him to date Charlie,” said Michael rolling his eyes,

“I just want him to be happy,” said Chuck.

“Well…. Anyhow… I’m starting breakfast you guys, Jill wanna help me?” Said Gabriel interrupting his father and his brother, Jill stood up and smiled at Gabe,

“Sure, what are we cooking?” She asked,

“I have no idea, c’mon lets go to the fridge and find out,” answered Gabe.

* * *

 

Charlie parked outside Chuck’s house,

“Are you sure this is okay?” she asked,

“Yes Charlie, you’re part of our family… and Jill is here, I know you would love to hang out with her,” said Cas,

“Great! That girl is awesome, I still can’t understand why the hell she’s with your brother though,” said Charlie getting out of the car,

“That’s one of the big mysteries of the universe,” answered Castiel.

* * *

 

“Dean, a little help here!” Yelled Bobby from the main door; Dean walked out of the kitchen wearing an apron,

“Coming,” he answered. Bobby walked back outside; the bed of his truck was full of paint buckets.

“Jesus Bobby, you said we would only paint Sam’s room,” said Dean helping his uncle to unload the truck.

“Yeah, but I was already there, the paint was cheap… might as well paint the rest of the house,” said Bobby wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.

“Kitchen too?” asked Dean,

“You crazy? Cas spent like a month picking that color, if I change it he would kill me,”

“Yeah, because he visits so often now,” said Dean a little upset,

“Well maybe if you talked to him,” answered Bobby,

“Okay, next subject… did you call Sammy?” asked Dean,

“Yeah, he’s not coming for spring break after all, he has plans already,” said Bobby, he carried a couple of buckets to the garage, Dean following right behind him.

“What? But he said he would be here for spring break, we kinda made plans… what’s more important than that?” asked Dean sounding like a little child,

“I don’t know son, why don’t you ask him? You haven’t called him since you moved in here, are you avoiding him or somethin’?” asked Bobby; he placed the buckets on the floor of the garage and turned around to face Dean.

“No Bobby, I just… I’ve been busy, I’ll call him today, okay?” said Dean, “Did you tell him that I’m living here again?” he asked,

“That’s not my call son,” said Bobby.

They finished placing all the buckets in the garage and then headed to the kitchen to have breakfast. Dean was making pancakes and he suddenly found himself thinking of Cas, the guy was probably at Chuck’s with his family; as soon as he realized that he was thinking of Cas again he grabbed his phone,

“Pancakes are ready Bobby, I’ll just call Sammy while you finish the bacon,” said Dean, he walked to the backyard and called his brother; after a few seconds Sam finally picked up,

“Hi Dean,” said Sam,

“Hi Sammy! How’s it going?” asked Dean,

“Cool man, I’m having breakfast with my roomies and Jess, what about you?” asked Sam,

“Nothing, I just… Bobby told me that you’re not coming for spring break, that true?”

“Yeah, we’re staying here… already made plans, you know?” answered Sam.

“Well, thanks for letting me know about your plans Sammy,” said Dean sounding a little bitter.

“Right, just like you told me that you’re living with Bobby again, or that you’re not talking to Cas,” answered Sam.

“How did you…?”

“You’re not the only one back home that I talk with… you stopped calling me Dean, so I called your friends…”

“Listen, Sammy… I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t want to disappoint you,” said Dean apologetic.

“Why would I be disappointed?”

“Because I moved back to Bobby’s, I should be your example and move forward… going back to your parent’s house isn’t exactly moving forward, you know?”

“Dean c’mon, I don’t care if you go back to Bobby’s, you’re still working and doing great things, you’re not going to be there forever, nobody is judging you man,” answered Sam. Dean remained silent for a while, after almost a minute he talked again,

“I’m sorry I didn’t call Sammy… I guess I’m still trying to get used to it, I still feel like crap every time I say ‘ I don’t live with Cas anymore’, it sucks man…”

“So you guys haven’t talked yet?”

“Not really, I don’t think it’s gonna happen, I deserve it, I was an ass…” confessed Dean,

“Dean, I’m pretty sure you both screwed it up… you need to talk this up,” said Sam,

“I know, but I’m not sure I’m ready… not yet,” Dean sounded sad,

“Well, I just hope that when you’re ready it isn’t too late,” said Sam worried,

“Yeah, listen Sammy… I gotta go, Bobby’s calling me, breakfast is ready… but yeah… thanks for everything,” Bobby of course wasn’t calling him but Dean wasn’t in the mood to go on with the conversation.

“Okay, well… don’t be a stranger okay Dean? Take care,” said Sam,

“Yeah, tell Jess that I say hi, see ya,” said Dean before ending the call. When he walked back into the house, breakfast was in fact, ready.

“What did Sam say?” asked Bobby,

“He’s fine… he already knew that I was staying here, he was cool about it too,” said Dean grabbing a couple of pancakes for himself. Bobby just nodded and smiled,

“I’m glad you finally called him son,” said Bobby.

* * *

 

Chuck passed a glass of lemonade to Charlie; she was sitting on a bench next to Jill in the backyard.

“Thanks Chuck,” said Charlie with a smile,

“You’re welcome Charlie, are you girls getting into the pool?” Asked Chuck sitting next to Charlie.

“I don’t think so… it’s still pretty cold out here, I don’t want to get sick, I already made plans for vacations, staying sick in bed isn’t part of my plans,” said Charlie with a smile,

“Thanks for taking Cas with you to California,” said Chuck.

“Well, technically he paid for everything so he’s taking me,” said Charlie with a shy smile, after a few seconds of silence she added, “he needs it,” Chuck nodded and stared at the pool for a while,

“He thinks that I don’t see it… but he’s sad,” commented Chuck.

“How is he taking the situation with Dean?” Asked Jill,

“It’s been hard for him, but as he said, at least now he knows that he’s totally capable of living on his own, and I think that having Nik in his life is helping a lot too, you know? He hass to be responsible for another life,” said Charlie after taking a sip of her drink,

“I know you’ve been helping him a lot Charlie, thanks for being part of his life,” said Chuck with sad eyes.

“He’s the best friend I’ve ever had Chuck,” said Charlie,

“But you don’t see him as anything else than a friend,” said Chuck. Jill and Charlie looked at Chuck in surprise.

“Chuck you write books about the king of hell and his witch mother, so I’m going to assume that you’re not a conservative guy,” said Charlie; Chuck stared at her without knowing what was going on.

“Okay?” he said,

“I really love Cas, he’s the best, but the thing is that I’m not really into dudes… I like girls, so yeah…” said Charlie. Jill tried to suppress a giggle.

“Oh… well that explains a lot,” said Chuck smiling,“too bad I never had a daughter, it would be great if you formed part of this family,”

“You can always adopt me,” joked Charlie,

“Bobby would kill me,” said Chuck.

Jill, Charlie and Chuck kept laughing and having a good time outside. Cas, Gabe and Michael cleaned up the kitchen and joined them after that.

* * *

 

“Okay, so are you sure you want it blue?” asked Dean,

“Yes kid, I already told you… Why? Do you have a better idea?” asked Bobby,

“No, I just wanted to make sure,” said Dean,

“Well then, stop complaining and help me with the paint,” said Bobby. They dragged a couple of buckets out of the garage and set up everything to start painting the front of the house.

“Brushes and rollers are next to the toolbox in the garage,” said Bobby.

“Okay, I’ll get’em,” said Dean; when he was walking back to the garage he could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket, it was a text from Lisa,

**Morning handsome. Want to do something today?**

Dean grabbed everything he needed from the garage and walked back to the front of the house, once he’d handed everything to his uncle he answered the text,

**Hi Lis, wanna grab something 2 eat? I can pick U up at 2.**

"Hey Bobby, I’m going out with Lisa later, we’ll just grab something to eat and then I’ll come back, two hours tops… I’ll help you painting when I come back,” said Dean.

“You wanna paint in the dark?” asked Bobby sarcastically.

“I can paint any room inside the house,” said Dean.

“Okay, then help me put this buckets back in the garage, we’re painting the living room instead… just  help me move the furniture and peel the paper from the walls before you go,” said Bobby.

“Awesome, thanks,” said Dean with a smile, he quickly proceed to follow Bobby’s instructions.

* * *

 

Cas and Gabe were setting up the grill for a barbecue in the backyard, Nik playing with a ball close to them. Charlie, Michael and Jill were preparing the food and Chuck as usual was on the phone talking to his agent. When Chuck finally ended the call he walked back towards his family.

“God, sometimes I want to kill my agent,” said Chuck,

“What happened?” asked Gabe,

“I feel like my book tour will never end,” complaint Chuck.

“When are you leaving?” asked Cas,

“Next week, I mean I’ll just visit a few colleges before spring break,”

“Well, it could be worse,” said Charlie,

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” said Chuck.

“Hey Dad, I just remembered, has mom called?” asked Michael.

“Yes Michael, she called, and I talked to her… I decided that I no longer want to keep in contact with her, neither does Castiel or Gabriel… she said it was okay, she gave me her new number and e-mail address so you can still contact her,” answered Chuck,

“What? But why?” asked Michael, he suddenly looked like a 10 year old again; Jill held his hand.

“Michael, your mother and I have nothing in common, the only reason she keeps calling is because of you, and you know it… it’s for the best, if you want to keep in touch with her, then you call her, you’re a big man now,” Michael took a deep breath, he was obviously trying very hard to control himself. Cas felt guilty about the subject; after all, it was his fault that his mother left all those years ago.

“Dad, you don’t have to stop talking to my mother just because of me,” he said. Chuck looked at him with sad eyes,

“Castiel, this isn’t your fault, like I told your brother, I don’t have anything in common with your mother anymore, I made this decision for me, okay?”

“Okay,” said Cas.

“It’s fine … just text me her contact info please,” said Michael after a while. Jill kissed him on the cheek and he gave her a sad smile, she really was a good change in his life, the old Michael would be having a tantrum at this point.

* * *

 

Dean walked into the restaurant (Italian this time) and saw that Lisa was already waiting for him, he walked towards her and kissed her on the lips,

“Hi honey,” said Lisa,

“Hi Lis, sorry I’m late, I was helping Bobby with some stuff back home,” said Dean. He ordered a beer. They ordered a Lasagna and pizza and agreed to share.

“So, what were you helping Bobby with?” asked Lisa picking a slice of pizza,

“Oh, he wants to paint the whole house, you know? Remove all the old paper from the walls and paint it all in light colors so it looks wider… to be honest, I think he’s been watching a lot of ‘extreme makeover’, but well, it’s his house and his money, so what the hell…”

“Mom went through that stage too, maybe it’s something that happens when you get older,” said Lisa with a smile.

They kept talking and eating their delicious food. When they were done they walked out of the restaurant and went to a park that was just a couple of blocks from the restaurant. They were walking and holding hands when Lisa decided that it was time to move on with her plan,

“So… honey, it’s been a month since you moved out of the apartment, do you know what are you going to do next?” she asked casually,

“Not really, I mean, I think I’m fine with Bobby, I haven’t looked for another place yet, at this point it’s kinda obvious that I’m not moving back with Cas, I just, I don’t want to rush things, maybe I’ll start looking for a new place, maybe I wont… I don’t know yet,” said Dean, Lisa tried very hard not to smack Dean on the head, she really liked the guy but he could be stupid sometimes. Dean looked at his watch and realized that he had lo leave to help Bobby,

“Shit Lis, I gotta go, I’m sorry but I promised Bobby that I would help him painting the house,” he apologized rubbing the back of his neck. Lisa rolled her eyes and let go of Dean’s hand,

“I knew this would happen,” she said pretending to be upset,

“What do you mean?” asked Dean,

“You’ve only been with your uncle for a month and he’s already controlling your life,” she said, Dean looked at her with wide eyes.

“Lisa, he’s not controlling my life, I promised the guy that I would help him out with something, that’s all,” She turned around and started to walk, Dean followed her, he didn’t know what else to do, “Lis, talk to me, what the hell is going on?” he asked confused,

“Well Dean, to be honest, when you moved out of your apartment and said that you would be looking for another place to live, for a moment I thought that you would ask me to get a new place with you, I was stupid, I know,” she said with sad eyes. Dean stopped walking and opened his mouth in shock,

“I hummm…” Dean was speechless, he wasn’t expecting that suggestion from Lisa, _‘we haven’t been dating for that long, is this normal? Is this the right time?’_ he asked himself,

“Dean? What are you thinking?” asked Lisa,

“Don’t you think that it’ll be like rushing things a little?” asked Dean trying not to sound rude.

“Of course not honey, we’ve been dating for a while now… and I love you,” she said, Dean blinked a few times, _‘CRAP! This isn’t happening,’_ he thought. He wasn’t ready for this shit, he didn’t love Lisa, she was a nice girl but he definitely didn’t love her, what was he supposed to do?

“Lisa, listen… I…” he was praying for a meteor to fall on his head,

“What is it Dean?” asked Lisa acting innocent,

“Lis, I’m sorry but I’m not ready to say it, okay? I care a lot about you, you’re awesome but… Love is a big word for me, I’ve never used it before, and I’m… I’m not ready,” he said. She studied him for a while, both of them surrounded by an awkward silence,

“It’s okay Dean,” she said with a smirk,

“What? Really?” he asked.

“Yeah, just tell me, how long should I wait? Another month? Another year? Another decade until you let go of your feelings for Castiel?” she was clearly upset,

“What? Who… I…” Dean was in shock,

“I’m not stupid Dean, I’ve known since the first moment I saw you two together that you were in love with the guy, but guess what Dean? He doesn’t love you back, he will never do, in fact he’s not even interested in talking to you anymore, so honey, a little advice here, if you don’t let go of him and start living your life, you’re going to end up lonely Dean. Open your eyes, I’m here and I’m willing to wait for you, but don’t make me wait for too long Dean Winchester, I might get tired of this,” she said. Dean couldn’t talk, what the hell was his life? Were his feelings for Castiel that obvious?

“Lisa… I… I …” Dean was trying pretty hard not to cry.

“So anyway, go on, your uncle is waiting for you honey, I’ll go home and start looking for apartments,” she said winking. Dean couldn’t believe what was happening, apparently not only did his girlfriend know about his feelings for Cas, she also didn’t care and she still wanted to move in with him. She kept walking and Dean just stayed there in shock, _‘really, what the fuck is my life?’_ He thought.

* * *

 

“Are you guys sure you have to leave?” asked Jill, she was hugging Charlie,

“Yeah Jill, sorry, but we have to see a client in an hour,” apologized Charlie,

“Well, I get it, work is important, it was nice seeing you both though,” said Jill,

“You too Jill,” said Cas, “I hope to see you soon, you’re always welcome here,” Jill hugged Cas and then him and Charlie said goodbye to everyone else.

Once they were driving in the car Cas thanked Charlie,

“Thanks for not telling my family about my appointment with Doctor Norton, I don’t want them to get worried,” said Cas petting Nik who was on his lap.

“You’re welcome Cas, everything’s gonna be fine, you’ll see,” said Charlie.

 

* * *

 

Charlie waited outside the doctor’s office with Nik while Cas talked to his doctor. She took Nik for a walk and bought a box of doughnuts while she waited. An hour later, Cas walked out of the office with a piece of paper in his hand,

“How did it go?” asked Charlie,

“Back to antidepressants it is,” he said,

“How are you feeling?” she asked,

“I don’t know… relieved now that I’m getting help, worried, scared,” he said picking his dog from the ground,

“I’m here to help Cas,” said Charlie,

“I hate to ask you this again but, usually when I take these pills, the first night I feel very sick, I spend the whole night in the bathroom and I’m dizzy… I was wondering if you…”

“You don’t even have to ask Cas, we’ll just drive to my place to grab clean clothes then we can pick up your pills and buy something for dinner,” said Charlie with a smile.

“Thank you Charlie,” said Cas, he stretched his arms and gave Charlie a big hug.

* * *

 

Dean finished adding the second coat of paint to the largest wall in the living room,

“Okay, now I need a beer,” he said. Bobby smiled and handed him a beer from the small cooler; Dean opened it and took a big gulp, “right, I’ll just finish my beer and then we can start with the next wall,”

“Aren’t you going out tonight?” asked Bobby curious. Dean finished his beer and took a deep breath,

“I don’t think so… I, hummm… I think I’m going to end things with Lisa,”

“Wow, really?” asked Bobby surprised, “why?”

“I think she’s crazy,” said Dean, Bobby just raised an eyebrow.

“Care to elaborate?” said Bobby,

“Today she confessed to me that she knows about my feelings for Cas, she says she’s okay with it and that she doesn’t mind, in fact, she can wait for me until I decide to let Cas go… she also suggested that we should move in together… oh and she said that she loves me, all that, in one conversation,” said Dean,

“Wow, that sounds intense,” said Bobby.

“Yeah, also according to her, you’re manipulating me and I need to move out of your house,”

“Okay, you should probably end that relationship son… not that I’m trying to manipulate you or anything,” joked Bobby,

“You’re probably right, I mean, she really freaked me out man,” Dean placed his empty bottle of beer on the table and passed a hand through his hair, “I’ll go out with her tomorrow and end this shit,” he said resolutely.

“Why are you waiting until tomorrow?” asked Bobby,

“I would like to finish my relationship with my psycho girlfriend in a public place with the light of the day and witnesses in case she tries to kill me or something,” joked Dean; Bobby laughed and patted him on the shoulder,

“To be honest son, you’ll be better off without her.”

They kept painting the living room until midnight, when Bobby announced that he was too old for that shit and that he was going to bed.

* * *

 

Cas woke up in the middle of the night, sweating and feeling dizzy; he stood up and carefully walked to the bathroom.

Charlie woke up when she heard a loud noise on the distance, she noticed that Cas wasn’t in bed anymore, so she got out of bed and followed the noise, she found Cas in front of the toilet looking very pale,

“Jesus Cas, you weren’t joking,” she said,

“I feel like crap,” said Cas, his voice deeper than usual,

“Did you throw up?”

“A little,”

“Okay, you gonna do it again?” she asked,

“I don’t think so, my stomach is killing me though, I just want to go back to sleep,” Charlie helped Cas to stand up and walked him towards the sink; he washed his face and brushed his teeth,

“Cas are you sure this is a good idea? How are these pills supposed to help you if they make you sick?” said Charlie,

“It’s only for a few days, my organism is trying to assimilate them, I’ll be fine, this has happened before, don’t worry, I just need to rest.” They walked back to bed. Once they were under the covers again, Cas hugged Nik, 

“Want me to tell you a story Cas?” asked Charlie,

“I would love that, yes,” answered Cas,

“Okay, did I ever tell you about the time I got lost in the beach and a French family found me and helped me find my mom?” asked Charlie, Cas giggled,

“No, that sounds amazing, what happened?” asked Cas, he closed his eyes and listened carefully to Charlie’s story.

* * *

 

On Sunday, Dean waited until 11 to call Lisa, he knew that she would be at church; they agreed to meet at four at the park that was near Lisa’s house. He went back to bed and let his mind wander,

 _‘Okay, so I’m breaking up with my girlfriend today, my best friend is still not talking to me and oh, right… I’m still in love with him… great, my life is worst than those telenovelas that Bobby likes to watch,’_ A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts,

“Dean, I know you’re up, breakfast is ready and I want to paint Sam’s room today,” called Bobby,

“Coming,” answered Dean.

 

Breakfast was nice, Dean was a little worried about his conversation with Lisa, but Bobby was in a great mood and his talk about all the things he wanted to do with the house, distracted Dean. After breakfast they went upstairs and moved all the furniture to the center of Sam’s room, then they proceed to remove the old wallpaper.

“That wallpaper is really ugly, man,” said Dean,

“Well, it was ‘cool’ when you guys were young,” said Bobby; Dean laughed.

“So, what color are we painting this?” asked Dean,

“Well, I picked green for this bedroom and mine… blue for yours and the spare one,” said Bobby.

They began to paint after they had covered all the furniture with plastic,

“Bobby, not that I don’t like what you’re doing but, what is it with randomly painting the house?” asked Dean,

“Well I ain’t getting any younger kid, I like to feel useful, I guess I just like proving to myself that I can still do things,” said Bobby,

“C’mon man, you’re not that old, you still have a lot to do, places to visit, maybe get a girlfriend, take care of your grandkids,” said Dean,

“I’m not saying that I’m old, I’m saying that I like to remind myself that I still can do things,” They kept painting for a while, they just stopped for lunch and then Dean went to take a shower, he needed to get ready for his meeting with Lisa.

* * *

 

Charlie cooked oatmeal and prepared white tea for Cas, he needed to eat something but after the night he had, he needed to eat something light. They sat on Cas’s bed and shared the breakfast.

“How are you feeling?” asked Charlie,

“Better, it wasn’t as hard as the first time I took them, I ended up in the hospital that time,” said Cas,

“Wow,” said Charlie.

“You know what’s ironic?” asked Cas taking a sip of his tea,

“What?”

“The dizziness, the headaches, the stomachaches, the shaking, all that shit happens first, but the real effect of the pills doesn’t happen until after a month,” said Cas,

“That sucks,” said Charlie,

“At least I’ll be used to it by the time our trip comes, I won’t be able to drink alcohol though,” he said,

“That’s fine Cas, we don’t need alcohol to have fun at Disneyland,” said Charlie, 

“You know what we need though?” asked Cas,

“What?”

“Well you once told me that shopping is the best way to cure depression after your heart gets broken, and we’re going to California so we definitely need to go shopping before we leave,”

“I like how you think,” said Charlie, “how are you doing with your part of the work by the way?”

“I’m almost done, everything on time for our vacation,”

“Great, me too,” said Charlie with excitement,

“you know? Maybe we can go shopping on Tuesday,”

“I like that, the mall wont be that crowded,” said Cas.

They spent the rest of the day together, Charlie stayed for dinner too, but she left once she made sure that Cas was okay to spend the night alone.

* * *

 

Dean sat at the bench of the park waiting for Lisa, it was a little cold outside, not as much as in January, but it was still technically winter, so he was wearing a jacket. Lisa sat next to him five minutes later,

“Hi honey,” she said with a smile,

“Hi Lisa,”

“So, you thought about what we talked?” she asked,

“Yeah, I mean you gave me a lot to think about, to be honest… I guess you’re right in a few things and totally wrong in others, but yeah, I definitely thought about it a lot,” he answered.

“So, what did you decide? Do you want to give this a try?” she asked. Dean was surprised; she was acting as if nothing had happened the previous day.

“Look, Lis… I don’t want to hurt your feelings but I’m pretty sure that we both want different things… so maybe it would be better if we end this,” said Dean. Lisa just stared at him with eyes that could kill.

“What?” she yelled,

“Lis c’mon, you said it yourself, I don’t feel the same way that you do, this isn’t fair to you,”

“You don’t get to tell me what’s fair Dean Winchester! You know what’s not fair? Picking up a random girl that walks into your garage and deciding that you’ll date her to forget the guy that you really love,” she slapped Dean in the face. He just stared at her in shock and placed a hand over his face, “You know what else is not fair? To keep dating that girl even though you can’t forget the other guy, keep going out with her, making out with her, having sex with her even though you were still thinking about the other guy!”

“I know I was an ass,” said Dean, “but you knew, you knew all the fucking time that I was with you, you knew that I was thinking about him and you didn’t say a thing, I didn’t put a gun in your head to stay in this relationship Lisa,”

“I wanted to give it a try Dean, I thought you would change, that I could fix you,”

“Well I guess this relationship was never meant to work out then, we both were lying, it was a relationship based on bullshit and apparently you thought that I was something broken to fix,” said Dean; they stared at each other with fire in their eyes.

“You know what Dean? Fuck you, you finish this relationship and I can get a new boyfriend next week, but you? You’re stuck loving someone that doesn’t want to know anything about you, loving someone that can’t love you back, I was doing you a favor, to be honest…”

“I don’t give a damn, I'd rather be alone my whole life than to end up with someone like you,” he said standing up.

“Well then, don’t come back crying when you end up alone like your weird uncle,” she said walking away.

Dean took a deep breath, if a man had said that to him about Bobby, he probably would have beaten the shit out of the guy. He turned around and walked towards his car, he was really upset. Lisa stopped and turned around, she was hopping that Dean would chase after her, but he was already opening the door of his beloved car, she kicked a rock in the ground and turned around to walk back to her car.

Dean drove away from the park as fast as he could, he kept cursing and listening to music out loud, _‘I was so fucking stupid,’_ he thought. _‘What the hell was I thinking dating her?’_ After a while he realized that he was driving towards his old apartment, as if he couldn’t feel more miserable.

He turned around and changed his course. His first thought after that was to find a bar and get drunk as hell, but he knew that wasn’t the answer, he could almost hear Bobby saying _‘Getting drunk won’t fix your problems son, it will only give you a hell of a hangover next morning,’_ he opted for his second option in this case; a few minutes later Dean opened the door of one of the places he knew the most in town, a little bell over the door announced his arrival. Kayla was at the small reception reading a magazine,

“Hey Kay, Missouri here?” he asked,

“Hi Dean, yeah, she’s upstairs in the apartment, I’ll let her know that you’re here,” she picked up the phone and pressed a button, “Auntie, You have a visit… yeah, Dean Winchester… okay, I’ll tell him,” she hanged up and looked at Dean.

“She’s waiting for you,” said Kayla.

“Thanks,” he ran upstairs and was about to knock on Missouri’s door when she opened it,

“Come in sweetheart,” said Missouri. Dean walked in and closed the door behind him. Missouri’s place was as usual crowded, colorful and it smelled like flowers.

“Thanks Missouri,” said Dean.

“You seem troubled my child, what’s happening?” she said pointing at a Chair for Dean to sit down, Dean followed her instructions and took a seat.

“It’s a long story,” he said.

“I’m guessing it has something to do with that red spot in your face,” said Missouri. Dean nodded and automatically touched his face again, it didn’t hurt that much.

“Well, lucky for you today is a Sunday and I have a lot of free time, so talk,” she said handing him a glass of iced tea;

Dean grabbed the tea and got comfortable on the chair, he placed the cold glass against his cheek and took a deep breath; this was going to be a long talk. Dean told his story to Missouri, at first he contemplated avoiding Cas’s name, but it would be hard and Missouri knew him so well that she would probably find out anyway. Missouri heard the story with attention and without interrupting Dean.

“What should I do?” he asked after finishing his story, Missouri ruffled his hair and smiled at him tenderly,

“Sweetheart, I can’t tell you what to do, the only one who can tell you what to do is you Dean,” she said placing a hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“Figured you would say that,” he said with sadness,

“Dean, I can’t tell you how to live your life, what you need is time to heal your wounds and to think what’s next,” she said with a sweet voice,

“I should probably stop dating people just because I want to get Cas out of my heart,” said Den with a sigh,

“That’s not healthy for you or for them Dean, you can’t have a relationship based on a lie, you saw what happened with Lisa,” Missouri took Dean’s hand by the wrist and stared at it for almost a minute, he didn’t say a word,

“You’re going through a lot of changes Dean, you might think that everything’s lost and that you should give up on being happy, but you need to hang in there, you need to relax and think… everything happens for a reason sugar, you need to learn from this situation, to grow up, only then will you leave this dark place and find happiness,”

“It sound so easy, but I just… are you sure that this stuff will pass?” he asked,

“I’m just telling you what I see in your hands Dean, I’m no psychic, you need to fight for what you want,” said Missouri.

“I guess I need some time to myself, you know? I want to fix things with Cas, but I think that first I need to fix things with myself,” concluded Dean,

“That’s an excellent idea sweetheart, you should take a few days off and go somewhere else, think and try to learn from all that’s happened,” said Missouri with a smile.

“Yeah, I’ll talk to Bobby, I can probably borrow that old cabin his friend Rufus has in Montana,” said Dean with a smile,

“ You’re gonna be fine Dean, you know why?” asked Missouri.

“Why?”

“Because you wanna be, and that’s the first step,” Dean hugged Missouri; he loved talking to her. After a while he relaxed a little and felt a little more confident,

“Well Missouri, thanks a lot for everything, I gotta go back to Bobby’s,” said Dean standing up.

“Alright Sweetheart, say hi to Bobby from me, okay? Send me pictures of the house when you finish with the ‘extreme makeover’ please,” she said,

“How do you…?”

“I ran into him yesterday at the Home Depot, I told you, I’m no psychic,” she said rolling her eyes. Dean laughed and hugged Missouri again, she walked him to the door and waved goodbye to him.

Dean walked downstairs and said goodbye to Kayla before leaving the building.

He drove back to Bobby’s, he was still upset with Lisa but he was also relieved that it was over. When he opened the door of Bobby’s house, the old man was rearranging the furniture in the living room,

“Need some help with that?” asked Dean,

“Good, you’re back, I was starting to think that your psycho girlfriend might have killed you, or worst that you didn’t break up with her,” said Bobby,

“Nope, that’s definitely over Bobby, she really was crazy,”

“She did that?” asked Bobby pointing at Dean’s face,

“Yeah, it’s fine though, Missouri gave me something cold to put on it,” said Dean. Bobby walked towards the kitchen and signaled Dean to follow him,

“Oh, you visited Missouri?” asked Bobby,

“Yeah, I don’t know why, I kinda felt like paying a visit to her, she says hi and also she wants pictures of the ‘extreme makeover, Bobby edition’”, said Dean. Bobby grabbed a bag of frozen peas from the freezer and handed them to Dean; Dean picked the bag and placed it on his face,

“Yeah, I’ll make sure of sending those pictures,” said Bobby grabbing a beer from the fridge.

“Hey Bobby, I talked a lot with Missouri and I realized that I need to clear my mind and just be alone with my thoughts… I was wondering, Does Rufus still own that small cabin? I could really use some time there,”

“Of course son, I’ll call him later and ask him but I’m pretty sure that wont be a problem, he barely uses it since his hip surgery, you would be doing him a favor,” said Bobby with a smile.

“Awesome,” answered Dean.

They spent the rest of the day painting the inside of the house. Dean felt weird after the situation with Lisa and his face still hurt a little but for that afternoon he allowed himself to forget about everything and to enjoy the moment with his uncle.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, Lisa's finally gone! :D Like i said at the beginning i'm working as fast as i can on what's next, the next chapter is almost done and I know where things are going exactly, i had to change a few things from my original idea because you guys were sick of Lisa (me too, actually) so that's why this chapter happened. 
> 
> Next Chapter is mostly Dean-centric, what happens after he left Lisa and his trip to the cabin (i've been actually studying and learning a lot about America because i wanted the places in the roadtrip to be described accurately). 
> 
> According to my plans the chapter after that will be Cas-centric, focusing on his trip to California with Charlie. 
> 
> So, thanks again for your patience, and for reading and being here, you guys are awesome. 
> 
> P.S: I don't know if all antidepressants work the same way, but the ones i've taken have that effect on me at first (the dizziness and throwing up and all that shit). So this is based in my own experience. 
> 
> P.S 2: Here's a little something from next chapter so you can see that i'm actually working on it...
> 
> He sat there for a while, enjoying the silence and the fresh air. Being in that place suddenly triggered a lot of memories from the first time he had visited.
> 
> “This isn’t like in the movie!” Complaint Dean,
> 
> “Which movie?” Asked Bobby,
> 
> “Jurassic Park,” answered Dean, “when you said ‘Dinosaur park I thought…” he suddenly felt stupid for thinking that they’d be going to a park like the one in the movie.
> 
> “Sorry to disappoint you kid, no Jurassic Park in South Dakota,” said Bobby ruffling his hair, “but you can still have a good time here, why don’t you go and play for a while, just play where I can see you okay? And take care of your brother,” said Bobby sitting on a bench.
> 
> The kids smiled and ran to take a better look at the Dinosaurs, 
> 
> “What’s Jurassic park?” asked Sammy while eating his Popsicle.
> 
> “It’s a movie and it’s awesome… but you can’t see it because it’s only for big boys like me n’ Cas,” said Dean to his little brother.
> 
> ___
> 
> yeah, the flashbacks are coming back! :D


	21. My life isn’t a book written by John Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is slowly starting to improve and he's trying to move on with his life. Charlie, as usual, is an awesome friend.
> 
> Dean finally takes the vacations he needs, he goes to Rufus's Cabin in Montana trying to clear his mind and to let go of his feelings for Cas; he ends up meeting interesting people, visiting random places and reading 'The Fault in Our Stars'.
> 
> At the end of the week he's certain of one thing, he made choices and now he has to deal with the consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm back! sorry it took me this long but like i said last time, i've been super busy getting ready for my trip. I leave in Thursday and to be honest i wasn't planning to update until i had the next chapter ready, but tomorrow is the Avengers premiere and then i have to take my plane and i'll be really really busy this weekend, so i said 'fuck it' and here's the new chapter.
> 
> I think this is the longest i've written so far, but i wanted to put the whole road trip in one chapter, so i'm sorry if it is a lot. I promise i'll try to update ASAP, i already have a big part of the next chapter and i promise that if i have free time during my congress (even if it is a couple of minutes between conferences) i'll try to write. 
> 
> Again thanks for reading and the kudos and your lovely comments, i swear, you're the best. I apologize for any mistake, remember that English isn't my first language. 
> 
> P.S: I don't know if this counts as a trigger but at some point Dean has a dream about Cas having an accident and even tough it is not graphically described it still shows Dean's desperation during the situation.

* * *

 

Cas and Charlie were in the parking lot of the mall. They were supposed to go shopping the previous Tuesday but Cas wasn’t feeling well that day because of his new pills. Today though, he was feeling a lot better so they decided to spend the day at the mall.

“Did we just spent the whole day shopping clothes?” asked Cas closing the trunk of Charlie’s Car,

“Yep… I’m glad we left Kraken early, it gave us more time to waste here,” said Charlie with a smile, “so… feeling better?” she asked. Cas stopped to think for a second and then smiled,

“Well, I still miss Dean and I’m tired but at least I have nice clothes for our trip,” he said,

“That’s the spirit,” said Charlie lightly punching him on the shoulder. They climbed in the car and drove back to Cas’s apartment.

“Do you want to help me putting all my new clothes in my closet?” asked Cas.

“Add dinner to that deal and I’m in,” said Charlie with a smile.

“There’s spaghetti and garlic bread at the apartment, will that suffice?”

“I’m in,” said Charlie with a smile.

* * *

 

Dean was sitting at the kitchen table looking at a map, planning his route to Rufus’s cabin. Bobby walked into the kitchen carrying a plastic bag.

“Hi son, brought the meat,” he announced,

“Oh, thanks Bobby, I’ll start dinner in fifteen,” said Dean with a smile. Bobby placed the bag on the counter and grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge.

“So, how’s the planning going?” asked Bobby while handing a beer to Dean.

“Great, I mean, is a long drive, lot of places I could visit, but that depends on the time I take too,” said Dean after taking a sip of his beer.

“I’ve already told you Dean, you can take all the time you need, you deserve it boy,” said Bobby.

“I don’t know man, I don’t want to leave you alone with the business for too long,”

“Dean, first of all, I was in charge of that damn place for more than 30 years on my own, I can handle it by myself for a few weeks… and second, you need this, you ain’t of much use at work if you spend the whole day locked up in your damn office trying not to cry and waiting for the day to pass,” Dean looked at his uncle and took a deep breath,

“You’re right, I’m sorry Bobby… I’m just…”

“You’re not used to wanting stuff for you Dean, and that’s gotta change, you’ve spent your whole life putting other people first son, it’s time for you to start thinking about you, and that means that this Friday when your office clock marks 6 pm, you’re officially on vacation, got it?” said Bobby with a firm voice. Dean smiled and nodded in surrender,

“Okay Bobby, got it,” said Dean,

“Great, now I’m going to watch some TV, if you excuse me,” said Bobby.

“Okay, I’ll let you know when dinner is ready,” said Dean.

“Thanks son.”

* * *

 

After a quick dinner, Cas and Charlie walked into his room to store all of Cas’s new clothes in the closet.

“A little cramped in there, don’t you have another place to put your clothes?” asked Charlie.

“Well, there’s De… I mean, the spare room, but I don’t know... I haven’t been there since, well, you know… would it be right from me to use it?” he asked looking at the floor.

“Only if you want to, I mean, I don’t want to sound rude but Cas, Dean doesn’t live here anymore, so you can do whatever you want with that room,” she said.

“Okay, maybe I could put in there the clothes that I don’t wear that much,” Charlie smiled and helped him to select the clothes that they would put on the other room.

  
Cas turned on the light and for the first time in almost a month and a half, he walked inside Dean’s room. The place looked huge without the stuff in the walls and the big sound system. Only the empty bed remained in there, everything else was gone. Cas placed his clothes over the bed while Charlie walked to the closet and opened it.

“Ready when you are, Cas,” said Charlie with a sad smile. Cas closed his eyes and took a deep breath, the place still smelled like Dean. He opened his eyes and looked at Charlie,

“Okay, I’m ready,” he said, “wait,” he walked towards the window and opened it, "lets do this,"

They hanged Cas’s clothes in the closet and also moved a few of Cas’s old things in boxes and put them in the closet too.

It was a weird experience for Cas, normally when he missed Dean he could pretend that Dean was in his room sleeping, or at work, now after seeing Dean’s room like this he would never be able to picture Dean in his room again, now he knew that the room was empty. He sat on the bed after a while, tying to assimilate things.

“What’s wrong Cas? Are you tired?” asked Charlie,

“No, I… this is weird, seeing Dean’s room like this, this is the first time I come in here since he left,”

“Cas,” Charlie hugged him and kissed him on the forehead, “you want to leave the room?” she asked,

“No, it’s fine… I have to get used to this… this is going to be my life now,” said Cas, “just me and my dog, alone in my apartment,”

“Cas… I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but… Do you really want to be alone for the rest of your life? I mean, don’t you see yourself with someone… eventually?” she asked while rubbing circles on Cas’s back.

“Charlie… it’s complicated, lets just say that a long time ago I decided that I want to be alone forever, that’s a personal decision and I don’t have plans on changing it, I don’t want to be romantically or sexually involved with anyone,” said Cas.

“ Okay, I get it, I’m sorry I asked,” she said,

“No, it’s fine, maybe someday I’ll tell you the reasons behind my decision, but I’m not ready right now,” he said,

“Hey it’s fine, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to… but just so you know, you’re not going to be alone forever, okay? You made the mistake of becoming my best friend in the world, so I’m always going to be here for you,” she said standing up from the bed.

“Thanks Charlie, I don’t know what I’d do without you,” said Cas with a smile.

“For starters, you wouldn’t have these awesome new clothes and you wouldn’t be going to Disney in two weeks, so yeah, I’m awesome like that,” she said.

“Yes, you are,” said Cas standing up too.

“You know, when you’re ready you could turn this room into your studio or I don’t know, Nik’s room,” said Charlie,

“I’ll probably turn it into my studio eventually, I’m going to need more space now that I’m officially starting the graphic novels with Dad,” said Cas,

“OMG! When?” she started to give small jumps clearly excited.

“He called me last night, his agent loved the idea, so now you’ll also be able to find ‘the devil’s trap’ series in the form of graphic novels,”

“Cas! That’s great!” said Charlie with a huge grin,

“I know, it will also help me to distract myself from thinking about… other stuff, I’ll probably have to go with dad in a few book tours, and reveal my secret identity to everyone, but that won’t happen until next year, so I have plenty of time to get ready for it,”

“I’m so happy for you Cas,” said Charlie, “I’m starting a board on Pinterest just with ideas for your new studio/office… I’m not trying to rush you, just… whenever you’re ready you just have to say it and I’ll be here with all my cool ideas and a six pack,”

“Okay, I’ll let you know… in the meantime, lets finish putting my clothes in the closet, I’m a little tired and we have work tomorrow,” said Cas.

“You’re right.”

They spent another 30 minutes with their task; after that they shared a package of Oreos while they watched an episode of Adventure time on Netflix.

After Charlie left, Cas walked to the bathroom to brush his teeth, when he got out, he stood outside Dean’s room for five minutes, eventually, he opened the door and stared at the darkness inside for a few seconds, he sighed and then walked towards his room.

* * *

 

Dean checked for the fifth time that day that everything in his ‘to do list’ was done. Invoices, e-mails, bills, changing Baby’s oil, everything was ready. He turned his attention to the clock in the wall, 6:02 pm; he was officially on vacation. He sighed and looked at his office thoroughly, he would be gone for at least a week, maybe more. His office looked emptier these days without all the pictures that reminded him of Cas, he knew it was useless though, removing the pictures from the office wasn’t the same as removing the memories and the feelings.

He realized that he was thinking of Cas again, after he ended his relationship with Lisa it became a normal thing: allowing himself to think of Cas a lot. He knew it was stupid, he was supposed to forget about his feelings for him, not to think about him every 5 minutes; at least when he was with Lisa, she had been a distraction, now he had more free time, which meant more time to think about Cas. He passed a hand through his hair and after taking a deep breath he finally stood up to leave the office.

He double-checked that his door was locked and then put the key in his pocket; he knew it was only a vacation but it felt weird. He walked out of the office area and found Garth still working in the garage.

“Ready for your vacation Dean?” asked Garth while closing the hood of a black car, he was cleaning his hands on a stained rag.

“Yeah man, everything’s ready, I’m heading home now,” said Dean, “what about you?”

“I’m staying a little longer, I have to take my wife to a doctor’s appointment tomorrow morning, so I’ll be late to work tomorrow, Bobby said it was okay as long as I make up for those hours in another shift,” said Garth with a smile.

“Oh, everything okay with Bess?” asked Dean,

“Yeah, we’re just trying to start our family, you know? Made an appointment with the doctor to check that everything’s fine,”

“Well, congratulations… you’re gonna be an amazing dad Garth,” said Dean with an honest smile, he had known Garth for a while now and he really liked the guy.

“Thanks Dean,” said Garth, “well I gotta get back to work... Bobby said that if we distracted you after six he would make us drink car oil, so you better go and enjoy your vacation,” Dean laughed and patted Garth on the shoulder,

“Bobby can be a little overprotective sometimes, but you’re right if he finds out that I’m still here he will probably make me drink that oil, take care and good luck tomorrow Garth,” said Dean leaving the garage.

* * *

 

Cas was watching Gabriel and Taylor decorate a huge cake for a wedding, it was a Saturday and once again Chuck wasn’t in town, so they were spending the day at Gabe’s bakery.

“So what do you think?” asked Gabriel,

“I love it,” said Cas munching a cupcake, “you’re really good with fondant Taylor,” said Cas with a smile,

“Thanks man, I learned from the best,” said Taylor with a smirk; Gabriel smiled clearly feeling proud of himself,

“Thanks Tay,” said Gabriel,

“Oh, I was gonna say that I learned it from my aunt but yeah, whatever,” joked Taylor,

“Shut up, you love me,” said Gabriel pretending to feel offended.

They spent the rest of the morning decorating the cake, after that he had lunch with Gabe, Maya and Taylor at the sushi place next door and then they went back to the bakery and shared a bag of cookies. Gabe and Cas said goodbye to Taylor and Maya after that, Gabe wanted to spend the rest of the afternoon at the mini golf.

“I just texted Charlie, she’s meeting us at the mini golf,” said Cas with a smile; they were in Gabe’s car.

 

* * *

They arrived to the mini golf place and rented everything they needed for the game; they were walking towards the first hole when Charlie arrived to the place as well. It was a nice afternoon, they had a great time and of course Charlie beat both brothers by an incredible big difference.

“Remember me to never play anything against Charlie again,” said Gabe raising his arms in defeat.

“You’ll get used to it,” said Cas,

“C’mon sweet tooth, you lose, you pay dinner,” said Charlie with a huge grin. They opted for having dinner at the small snack inside the mini golf place, according to Gabe their hotdogs were delicious.

They picked a small table in the deck of the place to have their dinner.

“You were right, this hotdogs are awesome,” said Charlie.

“Told you Weasley, if there’s something I know about is food,” he said with pride in his voice.

They finished their hotdogs and Gabe stood up to get another round, they were all really hungry,

“I’ll get the next round, anyone want a beer? I’m feeling a little thirsty,” said Gabe,

“No, thanks I’ll have a lemonade,” said Cas,

“Really? It’s a Saturday night and you’re having lemonade? Something wrong?” he asked. Cas looked at his brother with wide eyes.

“Yeah, I hum, I’m on a treatment for an ear infection… I can’t drink alcohol and Cas promised he wouldn’t drink… you know, in solidarity,” said Charlie.

“Oh, well that sucks,” said Gabe.

“You shouldn’t drink either,” said Cas,

“Why?” asked Gabe,

“You’re driving,” answered Cas rolling his eyes,

“Well if I get too drunk you can drive,” said Gabriel, he winked at Cas. Cas went pale and started to feel nervous, he wasn’t ready to drive yet.

“Did you bring your license Cas?” asked Charlie; once again Cas was relieved to have a friend as great as Charlie,

“No, I didn’t,” said Cas.

“Seems like no one’s drinking tonight then,” said Charlie with a smile,

“Okay, but I’m buying a shit ton of candy,” said Gabe in resignation, he turned around and walked towards the little snack to buy more hotdogs and lemonades.

“Thank you,” said Cas when he was sure that his brother couldn’t hear them,

“No problem Cas, I still don’t get it though, I mean I understand why you don’t want to tell Chuck about your antidepressants, but why not tell Gabe?” asked Charlie.

“Because he sucks at keeping secrets, I love him but he can be careless sometimes,” said Cas.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” said Charlie.

Gabe returned carrying a tray with their food and drinks. They had a great night even without the alcohol; Gabe of course kept his promise and ate a lot of candy, which of course meant that he sang out loud during the whole drive to Cas’s apartment. 

* * *

 Dean closed the trunk of the impala after placing his duffel bag in it. Everything was ready for his road trip.

“Okay Bobby, everything’s in order… I better go,” he said.

“You know where you gonna stop first?” asked Bobby,

“Nah, I checked a lot of places… but I’m just gonna drive and let fate decide, I kinda feel that’s what I need to do,” said Dean.

“Well that sounds like a great plan, just make sure to let me know how you’re doing from time to time,” they hugged and Dean climbed into his beloved car.

“I’ll call you later, see ya’ Bobby... and thanks for everything,” said Dean.

“Take care son, call if you need anything,” Dean nodded and after a few seconds he stepped on the gas and left Bobby’s house.

* * *

 

Dean drove for a while, trying to keep his mind in blank, just focusing on the road and listening to his music. He kept repeating himself that it was okay to take some time off from work, that he needed this. The sky was already dark when he arrived to a place called Rapid City, South Dakota.

For a minute he thought of keep driving, he wasn’t tired and it was still a long way to the cabin in Montana, but then he remembered the only time that he had visited Rapid City: he was 10 and Bobby drove them there looking for some pieces for a car that he was working on. He smiled at the memory, it was a hot day and the A/C of Bobby’s truck was broken, so after he got the pieces that he was looking for, he bought them (Dean, Cas and Sam) ice cream and took them to a place called ‘Dinosaur park’. He suddenly felt the need to visit that park but it was too dark for that, he would have to wait till the next day; without even thinking he stopped at the first motel he saw and checked in.

 

Next morning, after a nice breakfast at a local diner, he drove to ‘Dinosaur park’, the place obviously looked cooler when he was 10, it was actually kind of lame. The park was on a hill overlooking the city and the main attractions were seven dinosaur sculptures. It was a Monday morning, so the place was empty; he sat down at a bench and stared at the sculptures for a while. He noticed that some of the sculptures weren’t even accurate, the sculptures were made in the 30’s so maybe that was the reason, they didn’t have technology to obtain accurate data back in that time.

 _‘Jesus, I’m such a nerd,’_ he thought. He sat there for a while, enjoying the silence and the fresh air. Being in that place suddenly triggered a lot of memories from the first time he had visited.

_“This isn’t like in the movie!” Complained Dean,_

_“Which movie?” Asked Bobby,_

_“Jurassic Park,” answered Dean, “when you said ‘Dinosaur park' I thought…” he suddenly felt stupid for thinking that they’d be going to a park like the one in the movie._

_“Sorry to disappoint you kid, no Jurassic Park in South Dakota,” said Bobby ruffling his hair, “but you can still have a good time here, why don’t you go and play for a while, just play where I can see you okay? And take care of your brother,” said Bobby sitting on a bench._

_The kids smiled and ran to take a better look at the Dinosaurs,_

_“What’s Jurassic park?” asked Sammy while eating his Popsicle._

_“It’s a movie and it’s awesome… but you can’t see it because it’s only for big boys like me n’ Cas,” said Dean to his little brother._

_“You’re not that big Dean,” said Sammy a little offended._

_“Well, I’m bigger than you and I get to see the movie and you don’t because you’re a little baby,” said Dean. He was still upset because Sammy had gotten the last chocolate Popsicle they had at the ice cream parlor and he had refused to share,_

_“Am not” said Sammy shaking his head,_

_“Yeah, you are,” said Dean with a smirk. Cas just stood there, next to Dean watching the interaction between the brothers._

_“Nope,” said Sammy again,_

_“You’re a little baby,” said Dean._

_“Am not!” Yelled Sam, he kicked Dean in the shin and Dean dropped his ice cream to the ground in surprise. Sammy looked at him with big eyes, realizing what he had just done; he started to cry almost immediately, feeling guilty for making his brother drop his ice cream. Dean was upset, but seeing Sammy like that always hit a spot in his heart and made him feel the need to protect his brother._

_“Hey, Sammy…don’t cry, it’s okay… it was an accident,” he said to his brother. Sam just nodded and tried to dry his tears from his face with the back of his hand, which of course ended in Sam smearing a mix of chocolate, tears, sweat and snot all over his face._

_“I’m sorry Dean, here, you can have mine,” said Sammy stretching his hand to give his popsicle to Dean, unfortunately it had already melted, so the only thing Sammy handed to Dean was a stick; Dean grabbed the stick and smiled at his brother._

_“It’s fine Sammy, c’mon lets find some water to clean your face,” said Dean. He grabbed his brother’s hand and led him to the gift shop to look for the restrooms. Cas followed right behind them._

_Dean helped Sammy to wash his face and his hands then they walked out of the gift shop to look for Bobby._

_“Oh, there you are, where were you?” asked Bobby,_

_“Went to the bathroom,” said Dean._

_“Okay, you done playing?” asked Bobby,_

_“Can we stay a little longer?” asked Cas._

_“Sure Cas,” said Bobby with a smile. The kids returned to look at the dinosaurs._

_“I bought you something,” said Cas._

_“What is it?” asked Dean curious. Cas took a chocolate bar from his pocket,_

_“They didn’t have chocolate popsicles at the gift shop either, I hope this is fine,” he said handing the chocolate to his friend._

_“Wow, thanks Cas,” said Dean grabbing the chocolate bar._

_“You’re a good brother Dean, Michael would have probably kicked me back,” said Cas._

_“Michael is an ass,” said Dean._

_“Dean! You said a bad word! I’m telling Bobby!” said Sam; Dean didn’t have the time to stop his brother; Sammy ran straight to were Bobby was._

_“Should have kicked him when I had the chance,” said Dean. Cas rolled his eyes._

_“Dean Winchester!!!!” he could hear Bobby screaming from the distance. Dean sighed and put the chocolate in his pocket._

_“Coming!” he yelled back._

He laughed at the memory; Bobby had grounded him without dessert that day. Those were the days where Bobby still tried his best to stop those two from speaking like sailors. He looked at the T-Rex and smiled, they had been right next to it when Cas gave him the chocolate. He’d never thought about it, but even when they were kids Cas was always trying to make him feel better.

“Okay, probably not a good idea to come here,” he said standing up. He walked towards the gift shop to buy a souvenir.

He picked a postcard and a magnet for the fridge. He was about to pay for his stuff when he saw a small freezer with popsicles inside, they only had chocolate ones, he smiled and grabbed one.

* * *

 

Dean drove for a while after his visit to the ‘Dinosaur park’. He contemplated visiting Mount Rushmore, but somehow he was sure that he wasn’t going to find the peace his mind and heart needed staring at the faces of four dudes carved on a mountain. Maybe he could take the 385 on his way back from the cabin, see the Black Hills national forest and Mount Rushmore, but right now he didn’t feel like it.

He kept driving through the route that he had planned. After almost an hour he arrived to a place called Belle Fourche, South Dakota. As soon as he arrived to the city he knew exactly what he needed to do; he felt like a nerd for having that idea but he had always wanted to visit the Center of the Nation. He drove to the Tri-state museum. The place was a lot smaller than what he expected, _‘thought it would be bigger,’_ he thought, “That’s what she said,” he said after that, “Jesus, I’m such a child”.

He didn’t want to go into the museum, just visit the spot that marked the “most central point” between all 50 U.S states. On the patio of the Museum, there was a walkway lined with state flags and right in the middle of all that, there was a large stone wind rose marking the spot.

He walked slowly around the monument; the place was almost empty, only a couple of tourists were visiting too. When he was a kid they had learnt about this place at school, after a few years he found out that the accuracy of the place wasn’t right, in fact, the actual center of his country was about 13 miles north from where he was standing right now, still he had always wanted to visit the place. He bought a few souvenirs and sent a few pictures to Bobby.

After his visit to the Center of the Nation he was actually pretty hungry so he looked for a place to eat. He ended up at a diner that claimed to have the best buffalo burgers in the Tri-state area. The place was nice, not that big and it kinda had a homelike feeling. The restaurant was basically empty, there were only three more clients, again another perk of traveling on a Monday and out of holiday season. Dean took a seat at a booth in the corner, a waiter soon approached to his table,

“Hi, I’m Pete and I’ll be your waiter today, can I get you something to drink?” asked the guy, he was about Dean’s age and he had big blue eyes (though not as beautiful as Cas’) and long brown hair collected in a bun.

“Hum, yeah,” said Dean after a few seconds, “just some water please… and one of those famous buffalo burgers,” he said.

“Okay,” said the guy with a smile. A minute later Pete returned with a glass of water for Dean.

“Thanks,” said Dean.

“No problem,” said Pete and Dean was a little distracted but he was pretty sure that the guy had winked at him.

He texted Sammy to let him know where he was, he sent pictures of the dinosaur park and the Center of the Nation. Sammy texted back a few minutes later with a simple answer,

**Hey! Is the Jurassic Park! :D**

Dean smiled, Sammy had been 6 when they visited the place and the nerd still remembered.

A couple of minutes later the waiter, Pete, approached the table with Dean’s burger,

“Wow, that was fast,” said Dean,

“Well, as you can see, the place is kinda dead today so, we didn’t have a lot of orders before yours,” said the guy with a smile; he placed the plate in front of him and waited next to Dean. Dean stared at his burger with hearts in his eyes but soon he noticed that Pete was still standing next to him, he turned his head and looked at the waiter curiously,

“Oh, go ahead, I hope you don’t mind… I just like to see the faces of the new costumers when they try our burgers for the first time,” the guy just stood there, staring at Dean with a smirk,  
  
“Okay,” said Dean, he grabbed the burger and took a big bite, it was amazing; probably in his top five of ‘best burgers I’ve ever tried,’ he moaned and closed his eyes; Pete bit his bottom lip and stared at Dean with delight.

“You like it?” he asked,

“Oh my God, dude… this is a-fucking-mazing… I wanna marry this burger,” said Dean after taking another bite from his delicious meal.

“Good,” said Pete, “well… enjoy your food, I’ll be right here if you need me,” He pointed towards the bar. Dean looked as the guy walked behind the bar and grabbed a rag to clean some glasses. He kept eating his burger with gusto. After a few minutes Pete talked to him again,

“So, you’re not from around here, where are you from?” asked Pete,

“How do you know?” asked Dean,

“Believe me, I would remember someone like you,” said the guy with a smile. _‘Is he trying to flirt with me?’_ Dean asked himself,

“Oh… hummm, well I’m from Sioux Falls actually,” answered Dean,

“Roadtrip?” asked the guy,

“Yeah, I’m on my way to Montana but I had to stop here once I realized I was at the ‘geographic Center' of our beloved nation,” said Dean,

“You know that’s not accurate right?” asked Pete,

“Yeah, but apparently the right place is only marked with a stick and a handmade sign, that isn’t exactly a tourists trap,” said Dean. He finished his burger and started to eat his fries.

“Want to see the real place? I can take you,” said Pete suddenly,

“I hummm…”

“I’m not going to steal your kidney, you know? I already took one from the previous costumer,” he joked,

“Oh great, good to know,” said Dean with a smile. He didn’t know what else to say, the offer sounded interesting, it would be nice to see the real place and if he was honest with himself, Pete did seem like a good person, besides, wasn’t the point of this trip to get out of his comfort zone, live an adventure and clear his mind? This was a perfect opportunity,

“So?” asked Pete. Dean grabbed a bunch of fries and put them in his mouth,

“Aren’t you working?” asked Dean,

“Nah, my mom’s the owner I just help her sometimes but she wont mind if I leave early,” he answered,

“Well… in that case, lets go,” said Dean; he placed a few bills on the table and stood up. Pete placed the rag on the bar and turned around,

“George! Tell mom I went out, be back later!” he yelled; he removed his apron and placed it on the bar too,

“Okay! Just take your phone with you,” replied a voice from the kitchen,

“Okay, lets go hum...”

“Dean,” said the Winchester,

“Okay, lets go Dean,” said Pete with a smile.

* * *

 

Dean drove following Pete’s instructions, they guy actually was pretty cool and he knew a lot about the local history,

“So, anyway… what brings a guy like you on a road trip in this time of the year?” asked Pete after a while,

“Needed to clear my mind,” said Dean without taking his eyes of the road. Pete nodded,

“Let me guess, you broke up with your girlfriend,” said Pete. Dean looked at him in surprise,

“How did you know?” asked Dean,

“Dude, I’ve helped around in the restaurant my whole life, I kinda know how to read people… you have the eyes of someone whose heart was broken recently,”

“Well yeah, I broke up with my girlfriend a couple of weeks ago, but I don’t think that broke my heart, to be honest I felt relieved after it happened,” confessed Dean.

“What did then?” asked Pete after a minute,

“It’s complicated,” answered Dean.

“Oh, C’mon don’t you want to tell your problems to the complete stranger? Maybe I can help with it,” Pete joked. Dean sighed, it was a good point, he was never going to see the guy again, and maybe talking would help him get things out of his system,

“Well… the short version is that I’m in love with my best friend, Cas, that relationship is never going to happen, so I started dating Lisa, we dated for a few months but I still had feelings for Cas, two weeks ago I found out that Lisa knew all this time about my feelings for Cas but she didn’t care, she still wanted to give it a try,” he took a deep breath, “she offered but I didn’t accept because I don’t love her, I’m still stupidly in love with Cas… oh and also, I moved out of the apartment I used to share with Cas and stopped talking to him because my heart aches every time I see him… and now here I am, a road trip to clear my mind and try to forget my love for my best friend,”

“Well that sucks… sorry the complete stranger can’t help you solve your problem,” said Pete.

“Figures,” answered Dean. He wasn’t expecting Pete to help him have an epiphany, but it felt nice to get out of his chest what was happening, most of the time he had to pretend that everything was okay.

“You’ll see a gravel road in like a mile, that’s the old Highway 85, turn left there,” said Pete.

“Okay.”

A few more minutes passed until any of them talked again,

“So, are you gay?” asked Pete,

“Bi, actually,”

“Oh… and this friend of yours, Cas… he isn’t?”

“Nope, he’s asexual,” said Dean with sadness in his eyes,

“Well, that sucks… is he aromantic too?” asked Pete. Dean looked at him for a couple of seconds in surprise and then returned his attention to the road,

“I went to college, Dean,” said Pete rolling his eyes,

“Yeah, sorry… anyway, hum… I think he is aromantic too, yeah,” said Dean,

“You think?”

“Well, he’s never used the term, but he’s never had a girlfriend of boyfriend and he always says that he can’t see people in that way whenever someone tries to flirt with him,” explained Dean,

“But you’ve never actually asked him?”

“No, not really,”

“So you’re just assuming,”

“No… it’s… it’s complicated, Cas, he is different… he has Asperger’s syndrome, he sees the world in a different way, it’s just like he wasn’t born with that part you know? The whole sexual and romantic attraction… he just, he doesn’t need that stuff to be happy or feel complete,” explained Dean.

“I insist that you should ask him,” said Pete.

“Look man, you don’t know me, or Cas… things don’t work like that, besides we don’t even talk to each other anymore, so it doesn’t matter,” said Dean a little upset.

“We’re almost there, is right there, next to the hay storage,” said Pete pointing at his left. Dean could see a post with the American flag when they got closer to the place,

“Awesome,” he said.

They parked close to the site and walked towards the flag, Dean was right, there was a handmade sign hanging from a fence. The post was on a small base of concrete, and that was it, a small flag in the middle of nowhere announcing the real Center of the Nation. He smiled and stood as close to the post as he could,

“Want me to take a picture?” asked Pete. Dean handed him his phone and posed for the picture. Pete snapped a few pictures and then returned the phone.

“Well now I’ve visited the real Center of the Nation,” Said Dean with a smile. They hanged around for a little longer, Pete told Dean more about his city and Dean felt a little bad because he didn’t know much about the history of Sioux Falls.

Eventually, they decided to go back to the restaurant. On their way back, Pete decided to resume his previous talk with Dean,

“Dean, I know that I’m a total stranger and that’s non of my business, but… in my personal experience you should talk to your friend,” he said,

“Personal experience?”

“I had a massive crush with my roomie in college, and I never said anything because he was always dating hot girls, so I obviously didn’t have a chance… I didn’t say a word, we finished college and he went back to his hometown, I came back here,” said Pete, “last month I found out that he moved to Spain, and well, I was high as fuck, he was online and I figured I had nothing to lose, so anyway I said hi to him, we messaged for a while and then I just said to myself ‘fuck it’ and I told the guy about my crush when we were in school,” Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise, Pete was a brave guy, he would never dare to do that.

“What happened?”

“Guess who’s going to Spain this summer?” said Pete with a huge grin,

“You shitting me?” asked Dean,

“Nah man, the guy had a crush on me too, but since I was always studying and busy with school he assumed that I wasn’t interested.” Dean remained silent for a few seconds.

“Well, I’m glad for you man, I just… I don’t think my story would end that way if I did the same, but it’s nice hearing that it worked for you,” said Dean with a sad smile.

They changed the subject after that, it turned out that they shared the same taste in music so they had a pretty good time talking about their favorite bands, still Dean couldn’t help but to feel a little sad every time he saw Pete’s blue eyes.

They finally arrived back at the restaurant,

“Well, we’re here… thanks for everything man, if you ever visit Sioux Falls just ask for the “Singer & Sons” garage, you’ll find me there,” said Dean stretching his hand; Pete shook his hand and smiled widely,

“Thanks Dean,” he said. He didn’t leave the car though, they stayed there in silence and before Dean knew what was going on, Pete was planting a kiss on his lips. At first he didn’t know what to do, he just remained still, without returning the kiss. Pete felt Dean’s response (or lack of it) and he pulled back.

When Pete opened his eyes and Dean saw them, he couldn’t help it, he knew that it wasn’t a good idea but he reached for Pete’s collar and pulled him into a passionate kiss, it was messy and they were a little uncomfortable in the front of the car, but he did it anyway. It took him a few seconds to react on what was going on: he was kissing another guy, in the front seat of his car, a guy with beautiful blue eyes, but he wasn’t Cas, and it was wrong, the guy had a boyfriend in Spain, this wasn’t fair to the boyfriend. Dean pushed Pete gently to end the kiss,

“Pete, man… this is wrong, you… you have a boyfriend, I don’t want to be that person who gets between other people’s relationships, I’m not that guy, I’m sorry, I mean the kiss was great and everything and you’re a really cool guy, but this isn’t right,” said Dean,

“Sorry, you’re right… he’s not my boyfriend though, but I want him to be, and this isn’t fair to him, or to you,” said Pete; he opened the door and got off the car.

“Good luck Dean, hope to see you again some day,” said Pete leaning on the window.

“You too man, take care… and good luck in Spain,” said Dean with a smile.

Pete waved goodbye and he stood out of the restaurant watching as Dean’s car disappeared in the distance.

* * *

 

Dean kept driving for a long time, blasting his music out loud to avoid thinking about what had just happened. After three hours (that felt more like 3 weeks) behind the wheel, Dean turned in a small gravel road and pulled over. He took a deep breath and leaned his head on the steering wheel.

 _‘Keep it together Winchester, nothing happened, it was just a kiss… and you liked it,’_ he thought, _‘and why do I feel like shit then?’_ He knew exactly why, he had kissed Pete the moment he saw his blue eyes so close to him, his freaking subconscious had betrayed him, and the worst part was that he felt guilty because he felt like he had cheated on Cas, which was totally stupid because Cas wasn’t his boyfriend, hell at this point Dean was pretty sure that he wasn’t even his friend anymore.

And here he was, in the middle of some random road, alone in the darkness and finally addressing something that he had always refused to admit: Every time he was with someone, he couldn’t help but think that he was betraying Cas, like he was cheating on him, all because of a stupid conversation he had with Cas when they were 17.

_Cas was sitting on Dean’s bed reading, he was obviously waiting for Dean to show up since they were supposed to have a sleepover,_

_“Oh, hi Cas,” said Dean with a smile. He placed his backpack on his desk and sat next to Cas on the bed,_

_“Hello Dean,” said Cas with a serious expression._

_“Sorry I’m late, it’s just… I had a date,” said Dean,_

_“With whom? Asked Cas,_

_“A guy from school, his name’s Donny, we have English together,” Said Dean. Cas returned his attention to his book, and for a moment Dean could’ve sworn that he saw sadness in his eyes._

_“And where did you go?” asked Cas,_

_“We had lunch together and then went to that old arcade in downtown,” said Dean. Cas kept reading and Dean just sat in silence._

_“Cas, can I tell you something and you promise not to make fun of me?” asked Dean after a while,_

_“Yes,”_

_“I’m not romantically interested in Donny… it’s just, I’m about to go to college and I haven’t been with a guy yet, I want to get some experience before I go, you know?” said Dean. Cas opened his mouth about to say something but he refrained in the last moment, he just stared at Dean with a look that Dean couldn’t decipher._

_“Aren’t you supposed to wait for ‘that special someone’?” asked Cas making the quote signs with his hands._

_“Not necessarily… I certainly didn’t,” said Dean wiggling his eyebrows,_

_“I don’t need to hear the details of your sexual adventures with the girls from your school, but thank you,” joked Cas. Dean laughed and pushed Cas playfully._

_“Oh, shut up,” said Dean._

_“So, you and Donny, then?” asked Cas,_

_“Well, we talked and he feels the same way that I do, he needs to gain more experience, he’s only been with another guy before. So yeah, we’re going to try what he called, ‘being fuck buddies’,"said Dean. Cas nodded and stood up._

_“As long as you’re being safe, and you both respect each other I guess it’s okay… anyway, it’s a little late but I guess we can still watch a movie,” said Cas._

_“Great,” said Dean, they went downstairs to the living room, Sam was staying at a friend’s house and Bobby was probably upstairs. They put a movie in the DVD player and sat together on the couch._

_Dean can’t remember which movie they saw that day, but what he can remember as if it was carved in his head was what Cas said to him at some point during the movie,_

_“You know? I think I understand the concept of waiting for that ‘special someone,’ it doesn’t mean that you have to wait till you find them to have sex, it means that it doesn’t matter what you do in your life, how many partners you have, because when you find that person… from that moment on, everything in your life changes and everything you do with that person is special, not only the sex, I mean everything, even sharing a glass of water because you’re doing it with that person… did I get it right? Maybe I should stop reading romantic novels,” he said._

_Dean stared at him in shock with his mouth open, Cas had said the most romantic and deep shit he had ever heard before._

_“Dean?” asked Cas,_

_“Oh, sorry… yeah, I’ve never thought about it in that way, but you’re right man… shit Cas, that was deep,” said Dean with a smile._

_Later, that night when Cas was sound asleep next to him on his bed, Dean couldn’t help but to think that it would be incredibly hard for him to date other people, because he had already found his special someone, and he was snoring next to him._

* * *

 

Dean stared into the darkness for a while, from time to time he saw the lights from a car passing by, but for him, time seemed to stop. He wasn’t aware of when he started to drive again, he was too busy thinking about Cas’s words _‘from that moment on, everything in your life changes and everything you do with that person is special, not only the sex, I mean everything, even sharing a glass of water because you’re doing it with that person…’_  
He had spent all those years trying to prove to himself that Cas wasn’t the one, trying to find someone else, but it was useless, Cas was **the one.**

“Well that’s it, if Bobby ever becomes a grandfather is not going to be because of me…I hope Sam has a lot of kids because apparently I’m going to end up alone,” he said with a nervous laugh. In that moment he looked at his watch, he had been driving for another 3 hours after he stopped in the middle of the road; for a minute he thought of looking for a place to stay or even pulling over and sleeping in the car, but he was only 3 hours away from the cabin, he could totally keep driving.

* * *

 

It was almost 1:00 am when he entered the cabin, the place looked exactly as he remembered from when he was a kid. He grabbed the burritos he’d bought at some point in the road and put them on the microwave while he placed his stuff in the main room.

After a quick dinner and three bottles of beer, he undressed and climbed into bed.

* * *

 

The cold morning weather woke Dean up pretty early, he was only in his boxer briefs and he had fallen asleep over the blankets. He took a look at his watch and saw that it was only 7:30 in the morning; he sighed and stood up to put on sweatpants and a shirt; since he was already up he went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He went back to bed after that, this time he tuck himself in the blankets.

The next time he woke up it was past 11. After a quick shower and a nice cup of coffee, he put on his jacket and went out to get food at the closest grocery store. He bought food for a few days, he still didn’t know how much he would be staying, but he was planning to stay at least until Sunday.

He got back to the cabin just in time; he has putting the food in the fridge when it started to rain, he looked at the window and sighed,

“Well, there goes my plan of going for a walk after lunch,” he said. He wasn’t in the mood for cooking something complicated, so he opted for making a couple of sandwiches and heat soup from a can. While he waited for the sup to be ready he looked for a book to read, the cabin was well stocked with old literature and he knew it. He picked a book randomly and he had to smile at the irony when he saw it was ‘Robinson Crusoe’.

He ate his food at the kitchen, then he grabbed a beer and went to the bedroom again; there was a couch next to the window, so he drew the curtains and sat on the couch to read.

For the first couple of days that became his routine: reading on the couch next to window, relaxing to the sound of the rain.

On the third day, the weather finally improved, which was great because his mood was far from good. After breakfast he packed a backpack with a couple of sandwiches and a bottle of water and went for a walk at the woods. Rufus’s cabin was basically in the middle of the forest, the closest cabin was a mile west, he could see it but at that distance he wasn’t sure if there was people there. He kept walking for a while, even though the rain had forced him to stay inside for two days, it had also made the woods look amazing, he wished he had brought a camera.

He kept walking and enjoying the surroundings, he saw a lot of cool plants, squirrels, a deer and a lot of insects…and he was even sure that he had seen a couple of chickens, which was crazy because why the hell would there be chickens at the forest. After a little more than an hour he heard a sound behind a bush, he turned around but didn’t see a thing, he thought about approaching the bush but then he thought _‘that’s how people get killed in movies, Dean,’_ he turned in a different direction but then he heard the noise again only this time he was pretty sure that there was something behind him; he slowly turned around and saw a wolf staring at him,

“Crap…” he said. _‘What the hell are you supposed to do when you run into a wild animal? I’m pretty sure I learned this at school’_ The wolf kept staring at him and after a minute it actually got closer; Dean was about to take a chance and run for dear life when he heard a voice,

“Dudley!” It sounded like a girl, “Dudley where are you?” A blonde girl that looked not older than 15, emerged from between the trees, she was wearing a red hoodie, gray scarf, blue jeans and rain boots,

“Oh, there you are... come here you stupid dog,” she said to the wolf,

“This… this wolf is yours?” asked Dean, he was actually a little relieved,

“Yeah, this is Dudley, he’s not really a wolf, he’s just a wolf hybrid,” said the girl.

“Oh, that makes me feel a lot better,” said Dean.

“Dudley, c’mon, leave the man alone… sorry, he wants to play, we had to stay inside for two days because of the rain,” she apologized. Dudley turned around and ran towards his owner, she passed a hand through his long gray hair and the dog moved his tail happily.

“You live around here?” asked Dean a little more relaxed after he saw that Dudley was domesticated.

“Yeah… I’m Peyton by the way, who are you?” She asked,

“Oh, I’m Dean, hi,” he said waving his hand awkwardly.

“Are you lost?” she asked,

“No, I just went out for a walk, I’m staying at a cabin like half a mile in that direction,” said Dean pointing to his left.

“Mister Turner’s?” Asked the girl with big expectation,

“Yeah, you know Rufus?” Asked Dean,

“Yes, haven’t seen him in a while though, he lets me borrow books from his collection,” she said.

“Yeah, he has a lot of books… he’s not here though, he had a surgery on his hip, so he needs to stay in bed and all that shit,” said Dean,

“That sucks, I was hopping I could borrow some books, I already read all the books I brought and I’ll be stuck here for another month… do you mind if we join you in your walk?” she said,

“Sure, no problem,” said Dean with a smile. They walked for a while; Dudley kept running and playing while Peyton told Dean everything about the woods and herself. After another half an hour of walking Dean already knew a lot about the girl, her parents were divorced and she spent 6 months a year with each, right now she was staying with her dad, who was a beekeeper and lived with his dog in the cabin Dean saw earlier; the other half of the year she lived in New York City with her mom and stepdad, she was homeschooled in both cases.

“So you get to spend half of your year in this place, that’s pretty cool,” said Dean,

“It gets old pretty fast, specially after I finish all my books; dad hates going into town so we only go like once a month, it sucks,” she complaint, “what about you? What are you doing here?”

“Mind if we rest a little?” asked Dean,

“Sure… there,” she said pointing at a long log lying on the ground; they sat down and Dean grabbed the sandwiches from his backpack, he handed one to the girl and then proceeded to answer her question,

“Rufus is friends with my dad, I needed a place to clear my mind for a while, he said it was okay if I used his cabin,” said Dean.

“What do you need to clear your mind of?” she asked. Dean stared at the ground, he wasn’t sure if he should be telling his story to a teenager he randomly met in the woods,

“Did someone break your heart?” she asked,

“Jesus, am I that obvious?” he said scratching the back of his head.

“Nah, it’s just that you have the same face my dad has every time he talks to my mom,”

“Well, that sucks,” he said; they kept eating their sandwiches in silence.

“So, who broke your heart?” she asked,

“Well it’s a long story and I really don’t feel like telling it because, this trip is supposed to help me get over all that shit, but the short version is that I’m in love with my best friend and my best friend doesn’t love me back, I tried dating other people, it didn’t work, I tried staying away from my best friend and it didn’t work either, so now here I am, without a girlfriend, without a best friend and telling my sad story to a 13 year old,” he said.

“I’m fourteen,” she said with a smile,

“Oh, sorry, here I am telling my sad story to a 14 year old,” he said rolling his eyes.

“Well, I don’t know much about love, you know? I’m pretty young and I have to spend half of my year in the freaking woods where I can’t meet cute guys to date, so luckily for you I’m not going to try and give you advice about the subject,” she joked,

“Thank God,” said Dean with a smile. Peyton threw the last bite of his sandwich to Dudley, who ate it happily.

“That’s why my dad moved to the woods,” she said after a while,

“Why?” asked Dean,

“To ‘clear his mind’ after the divorce,” said Peyton, “I don’t think it worked pretty well, he’s still in love with her,”

“Wow, thanks for raising my hopes,” said Dean sarcastically,

“It doesn’t have to be your case, I mean, they were together for ten years,” she said trying to make Dean feel better.

“You’re not helping,” said Dean.

“Sorry, told you I wasn’t good at it,” Peyton apologized.

“It’s okay,” said Dean.

They stayed silent for a while, listening at the sounds of the woods and watching as Dudley ran between the trees.

“You can come back with me to the cabin and borrow some books if you want, I’m sure Rufus wont mind,” said Dean with a smile, “oh my God, did I sound like a creep?” asked Dean immediately after that. Peyton snorted,

“Not really, I hope you’re not one though, because I really want to borrow some books,” she said with a smile,

“Okay, c’mon lets go,” said Dean standing up. They walked back to the cabin with Dudley following them; as soon as they entered the place Peyton busied herself picking some books,

“Suit yourself, you can pick whatever you want,” said Dean putting some water in a bowl for Dudley. Peyton grabbed three books and turned to Dean looking for approval, he nodded so she placed the books in her backpack.

“Well Dean, it was great meeting you, I better go back home, dad freaks out if I’m gone for too long, I’ll see you later… and thanks again for the books,” she said.

“No problem,” said Dean with a smile. He walked her to the door and waved goodbye to the girl and her dog. He walked back in and decided to take a nap; he was very tired after his adventure in the woods.

* * *

 

_He was pretty busy working in a car but his phone kept ringing, after the third call he stopped his work and dug the phone out of his pocket,_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Hi, is this Dean Winchester?” asked a woman on the other side of the line,_

_“Yes, who is this?” asked Dean,_

_“Mister Winchester, I’m Nora Lee from Sioux Falls VA Medical Center, I’m calling because you’re listed as Castiel Novak’s emergency contact, do you know Mister Novak?” asked the lady,_

_“Yes, yes I know him, is he okay? What happened?” Dean closed the hood of the car and walked towards Bobby’s office,_

_“Mister Novak was in a car accident, he’s currently at the ER being checked, he appears to have a broken leg and he was pretty agitated, we need you to contact his family, in case of Mister Novak needing a surgery we would need the family to sign some papers first,” said the woman,_

_“Yes, yes… of course, I’ll call his dad,” said Dean, he walked into Bobby’s office and his uncle immediately knew something was wrong when he saw his face, “listen, Nora right? You said he was agitated, Can I talk to him?” asked Dean,_

_“Mister Novak was sedated, it was the only way to calm him down enough to be able to check him,”_

_“Crap… please, you need to tell his doctors that he has Asperger’s syndrome, he has anxiety attacks and huge meltdowns when he freaks out, he doesn’t like to be touched by strangers,” Dean was crying by this point, “please, tell them, I’m on my way… just, tell them okay, I know you need to touch him to make sure that he’s fine but please, you need to tell him what’s going on and what are you doing, he’s going to freak out again if you don’t,”_

_“Okay Mister Winchester, I’ll tell the doctors right away,”_

_“Thanks, I’m on my way,” said Dean. He finished the call and looked at his uncle,_

_“What is it?” asked Bobby,_

_“Cas was in a car accident, he’s at the hospital… I gotta go Bobby,” Dean was a sobbing mess,_

_“Okay, go… I’ll call Chuck and Gabe, just go… and call me as soon as you know anything,” said Bobby._

 

_Dean walked into the hospital as fast as he could, he wasn’t even sure how did he manage to drive there safely in his state, he walked to the reception and saw a young woman with the name ‘L, Nora’ in her tag,_

_“Hi, I’m Dean Winchester, you called me a few minutes ago, my friend Castiel Novak was in a car accident,” said Dean,_

_“Hi, Dean… they’re getting him ready for surgery right now,”_

_“Crap, can I see him? Can I talk to him?” he asked passing a hand trough his hair,_

_“You can’t see him, sorry, they already took him upstairs, they’re just waiting for his father to arrive and sign some papers,” Dean nodded and cleaned his tears with the back of his hand,_

_“Did you tell them? What I said on the phone?” asked Dean,_

_“Yes, I did, everything’s going to be fine, I’ll let you know as soon as he’s out of surgery,”_

  
Dean woke up sweating and with a knot in his stomach, it took him a few minutes to remember that he was at Rufus’s Cabin and that it had all been a dream, a bad memory, Cas was fine, he survived the accident with only a broken leg and a scar next to his belly button, he was fine, he was alive. He got out of bed and walked to the bathroom to wash his face with cold water. He could still see it, Cas lying on that hospital bed, looking small and broken, the tubes, the cuts, the bruises…

After almost 20 minutes of deep breaths and repeating to himself _‘it was just a dream,’_ he finally walked out of the bathroom and decided to go outside to take some fresh air. He grabbed a beer on his way out and sat at an old couch on the porch of the cabin.

Dean kept staring into the woods, thinking about his dream. That night was one of his worst memories ever, thinking that Cas could have died in that accident, that he could have been taken away from him… it made him feel sick.

A noise next to him made him jump in his seat,

“Why are you crying?” asked Peyton,

“Jesus!” he said, he hadn’t even realized that he was crying again.

“I had a bad dream… what are you doing here?” he asked,

I forgot my scarf in here,” she said,

“Oh, I’ll get it for you,” said Dean.

“No, it’s fine, I’ll get it…” she said. She walked inside the house and came back a few moments later,

“Got it,” she said waving the scarf in her hand and sitting next to Dean, “so what was your dream about?” asked Peyton. Dean took a deep breath,

“Just, a bad memory… something that happened not long ago,” he said; she just nodded but didn’t say anything. They just sat there, in a comfortable silence.

“He was in a car accident, my best friend… I was his emergency contact so they called me first… that’s what I dreamt about, that day… the phone call,” he explained after a while,

“Was he okay? He’s okay right? You’re not in love with a ghost or something like that?” she asked,

“He’s fine, he just broke his leg and he had a surgery, but he made it… is just, you know? In my dream I could feel it all again, the fear of losing him, of not knowing what was going on, of what would my life be without him by my side,” he said,

“Crap, that sucks,” she said,

“Yeah, it was a painful memory, I swear, when I woke up it took me a few minutes to realize that he’s fine, that everything’s okay… the dream was so fucking real,” said Dean,

“Well, that’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt,” said Peyton.

“That’s deep,” said Dean,

“It’s from a book… the fault in our stars,” she said,

“Never read it, didn’t watch the movie either,” said Dean with a shrug.

“You really need to read it,” she said.

“Tell you what, it’s already getting dark out here, why don’t I drive you back to your place and you lend me the book,” said Dean standing up,

“Deal,” she said with a smile.

The drive was short, but it helped him to calm down, Baby had that effect on him. Peyton went inside her house to collect the book and returned after a minute with it.

“Thanks for the ride, I hope you like the book,” said Peyton. Dean grabbed the book and placed it on the seat next to him,

“Hope so, I'll let you know when I finish it,” he said,

“Believe me, you’re going to spend the whole day inside the cabin reading it, it’s addictive,” she said with a smile,

“Jesus, that good?”

“Yep,”

“Well then, I better go back and finish the one I’m reading, so I can start this one tomorrow morning,” he said,

“Okay, good luck,” said Peyton waving goodbye.

* * *

 

Dean finished Reading the book on Friday afternoon, he closed it and tried to let it all sink in… it had been a while since a book made him feel like that. At first he was a little reluctant to read it, he saw it as literature for girls, but the more he read the more he felt like somehow the universe had put that book in his hand in that exact moment for a reason.

It wasn’t even the love story, that one was in no way like his situation with Cas; it was how those two kids loved and lived with all they had because of their situation and how they weren’t afraid to live. When he read the part of Hazel’s speech, the one that talked about the infinites he cried so much. He really needed to thank that girl for the book.

After a shower he cooked some pasta and then went outside to think, he liked the sounds of the woods and he really felt that he should stop avoiding his situation with Cas, it was time to really think of what he wanted to do.

He sat outside on the couch at the porch again with a nice cup of hot chocolate.

 _‘First of all, I need to be honest with myself… I’m in love with Cas, that hasn’t changed and to be honest I’m not sure that I want it to change… I want to be by his side, it doesn’t matter if it’s only as his roomie, I’m okay with it, as long a we’re both happy,’_ he thought.

“Jesus, that’s a little pathetic,” he said out loud,

“What’s pathetic?” asked Peyton sitting next to him,

“Fuck! Peyton, you really need to stop doing that,” he said,

“Sorry, just wanted to see if you read the book,” she said looking apologetic,

“Yeah, I did… and I hate you, thank you very much,” he said,

“Did you cry?” she asked with a smile,

“No,” he lied,

“OMG you totally cried!”

“Okay, yeah I cried a little okay… I mean, what the fuck? The kid dies!” he said raising his hands in exasperation,

“Yeah, but it’s still a pretty cool book and you know it,”

“Yes, it is… it made me think a lot… I, that part about the infinites, it really got me, like, all I can think about right now is that I don’t want to waste another minute without Cas, I don’t care if it’s only as friends, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I don’t want to lose him,” he said,

“Wow, you really love him,” she said raising her eyebrow,

“So much, really I know that you’re young and you’ve never been in love before, but it’s just… every time he smiles, the way he stops to look at the world, the way he talks, how he always listens... it makes me weak on my knees, it’s crazy, but that’s the truth,”

“Wow, that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard,” she said,

“I miss him, it’s been almost two months since we stopped talking to each other, and it still hurts like a bitch… fuck, I had a girlfriend, I broke up with her couple of weeks ago and I didn’t even care, I mean I felt bad, but only for a few of days, but Cas… I haven’t slept well since I stopped talking to him,”

“Dude, I feel like you’re looking for an answer that you already have,” she said rolling her eyes,

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you love the guy, you would do anything for him, you don’t even care if he doesn’t love you back, you just want him to be happy and to be his friend, that’s enough for you… so, just talk to the guy again, be friends again… simple as that,” she said,

“You make it sound so easy,”

“That’s because it is, you literally just need to go and apologize to the guy, he’s your best friend, he’s obviously going to forgive you,” she said,

“And then what?” tell him that I love him?” It’s the same fucking thing, this is really complicated, I don’t know what to do,” said Dean pressing his hands against his face,

“Why not?” she asked,

“What, tell him?”

“Yeah, I mean, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“That I lost my best friend forever,”

“Yeah, because you two talk too much lately,” she said rolling her eyes,

“He doesn’t like guys… or girls, he’s not interested in romantic relationships,” said Dean.

“Well, but you don’t have to cuddle and be al cheesy with each other, just tell him that you want to be with him, that it’s okay if he doesn’t want to do anything normal people do on a relationship, that you just want to be by his side,” she said.

“We actually do cuddle a lot,” said Dean with a sad smile, “but hummm… do you think that would work? I mean, it sounds weird,”

“No, it doesn’t, I’m from New York dude, I’ve seen a lot of weird things, that doesn’t even get close,” she said. Dean just stayed silent for a minute, trying to order all the mess in his head,

“I mean, I have to think about it, it really is complicated, you make it sound so simple, but it isn’t… my life isn’t a book written by John Green,” said Dean.

“No, your life is a book written by Dean Winchester,” said Peyton with a smile. Dean looked at her with wide eyes,

“Are you sure you’re only fourteen?” asked Dean,

“I’ll be fifteen in three months,” she said with a smile; Dean smiled back and ruffled her hair.

“Thanks for everything kiddo, really,” said Dean,

“You’re welcome… I better go back, you need to sleep and I need to help dad with dinner,”

“Want me to drive you?” asked Dean,

“Nah, I brought my bike, I’ll be fine… see you later Dean!” she left the porch and walked towards the garage, Dean saw a blue bike leaning against it.

She waved goodbye before grabbing her bike.

* * *

 

That night Dean had a lot of weird dreams (and half a bottle of scotch), and Cas was in every single one of them. It was a restless night and he ended up getting out of bed at 5:15 am, he deemed it a sociable acceptable hour to be up and not feel like a loser about it.

He walked to the kitchen and brewed some coffee; once his coffee was ready he went to the living room and stared at the huge bookshelf that covered most of the back wall, he wasn’t in the mood for reading, but he didn’t want to go back to bed. While he was looking at the books he saw an old copy of ‘the little prince,’ he smiled remembering that it was one of Cas’s favorites. He picked the book and held it in his hand. He remembered that when they were kids, Cas would always open that book looking for an answer _‘I’m telling you Dean, it’s like magic… whenever I feel sad, I open this book at a random page and read, it always helps me to feel better and find an answer to my problems… it’s like magic.’_

He placed his coffee on a table next to the bookshelf and opened the book carefully at a random page, _‘lets see if your magic works with me too, Cas,’_ he thought.

He placed his finger at a random point on the page and began to read,

_“What matters most are the simple pleasures so abundant that we can all enjoy them...Happiness doesn't lie in the objects we gather around us. To find it, all we need to do is open our eyes.”_

He rolled his eyes and closed the book, after taking a deep breath he opened it again,

  
_“To forget a friend is sad. Not every one has had a friend. And if I forget him, I may become like the grown−ups who are no longer interested in anything but figures…”_

He closed the book a little violently and put it back in his place.

“ Fuck it, I’m leaving… I need to talk to Cas,” he said.

He grabbed his cup and finished his coffee, after that he ran to the kitchen and began to clean everything and take out all the food from the fridge, there wasn’t much left, he put it all in his little cooler and quickly cleaned up the rest of the cabin. He put all his clothes back in his duffel bag and then took a quick shower. It was still early, and he wanted to hit the road as soon as possible.

* * *

 

Dean knocked on Peyton’s door past 7, he worried it was a little early but she opened the door with a huge smile.

“You’re up early,” said Dean,

“Yeah, dad’s computer’s not working so we’re going into town today!” she said.

“Well good for you, listen, I don’t have much time, I’m leaving… I need to talk to Cas and I don’t want to wait another second… I just wanted to thank you for everything, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m gonna give it a try and do my best to fix things with him,” he said. He handed her back her book,

“Here, I forgot to return this,” he said. She grabbed the book and smiled at Dean. Dean hugged her and turned around to leave,

“Wait,” she said, “how will I know how your story ended? I want to know what happens,”

“Good point,” said Dean scratching his head.

“Here,” she said grabbing a piece of paper from her pocket, “do you have a pen?”

“Sure,” Dean handed her a pen from the inner pocket of his jacket; She wrote down something on the paper,

“That’s my facebook,” she said,

“I thought you would give me your number or something,”

“I don’t have a cell phone, my parents think I’m too young,” she said blushing,

“But you have a facebook,” said Dean raising an eyebrow,

“They don’t know about it,” she said with a smile,

“Smart kid,” said Dean. They hugged again and he left right away.

* * *

 

The drive back felt like it lasted forever; he kept driving only stopping for gas and food. And he kept changing his mind every 5 minutes, he wanted to talk to Cas, he didn’t want to talk to Cas. He would tell Cas the truth… or maybe he should just keep his secret. He was going crazy.

After 12 hours of driving he was feeling very tired, he wanted to keep driving but he was dozing off and having a car accident certainly wasn’t part of the plan. At first he thought of pulling over and sleeping in the backseat of his car, but he was really tired and he hadn’t slept well the previous night, so he ended up stopping at a motel.

Next morning he woke up pretty early, it was 7 am and he was already taking a shower. Thinking that he would be seeing Cas that same day had him in a very good mood. He had a big breakfast at a Denny’s and then he resumed his driving.

When he saw it was 9 am, he decided to call Bobby; he dialed the number and put it on speaker.

“Morning son, how’s it going?” asked Bobby.

“Great, hummm… I’m on my way back,” said Dean with a smile,

“Really, that soon?”

“Yeah, well… I want to talk to Cas, I’m ready to fix this shit and I don’t want to spend another day without my best friend,”

“Glad to hear it,” said Bobby clearly happy, “so, you’ll be here tomorrow, then?”

“Nah, I left yesterday around 7 am, I slept at a small town close to the limits between South Dakota and Wyoming, I think I’ll be home in about six hours,” said Dean.  
“Okay then, I’ll cook something nice for dinner, good to know that you figured out what to do,” said Bobby.

“Yeah, thanks Bobby, see ya,” Dean pressed the screen of his phone and ended the call.

* * *

 

He parked outside Bobby’s house at 3:25 pm, he was tired and hungry but he was pretty happy to be back home. After hugging Bobby and promising that he would tell him everything about his trip after he talked to Cas, he ran upstairs to his room.

Dean sat on his bed and grabbed his phone, he opened the contact list and selected his favorites then he pressed Cas’s contact. The phone only rang once and then he heard a recording saying that the number he was dialing no longer existed. He tried a couple of times more but it was the same. That was weird, he Called Charlie to see if she knew something about it.

“Wow, it only took him two fucking months but he finally speaks to me,” answered the redhead,

“Charlie, I’m sorry… I thought you wouldn’t want to talk to me after what happened with Cas,” said Dean.

“What do you want Dean?” she asked with a serious voice,

“Hey, I dialed Cas’s number but there’s a recording saying that the number doesn’t exist anymore, do you know what’s going on?” he asked worried,

“I could be an ass just like you and pretend that I don’t know, but I wont do it…” she sighed, ”yeah, he changed his number, and no, I won’t give you the new one,”

“I understand, he’s fine though?” asked Dean,

“As fine as you can be when your best friend stops talking to you,” she said,

“Charlie, I know I was an idiot, okay? I just… Is he with you? Can I talk to him?”

Charlie went silent for a few second and Dean could hear a lot of noise in the background,

“No, you c… hey Cas’ what’s going on?” he heard her talking to Cas,

“They don’t have strawberry anymore, is cherry okay?” Dean heard Cas’s voice for the first time in two months and he almost started to cry,

“Yeah, thanks, oh and can you get me some onion rings too? Thanks,” The call went silent for another second and then Charlie talked again,

“No Dean, you can’t talk to him,”

“C’mon Charlie, I need to talk to him, where are you? Are you at the mall?” Dean asked,

“No, we’re at the airport, we’re taking a well deserved vacation because Cas has been a mess this two months, he’s starting to improve, so I don’t want you to ruin this Dean, you had your chance, now please, stay away from him, if you want to talk to him you have to wait until we come back,” Charlie said bitterly,

“Listen Charlie, I get it okay? I really do, I… I just want him to be happy, just make sure that he’s happy… I’ll wait here, can you at least let me know when you come back?” he asked,

“I’ll think about it,” she said.

“Okay… hummm… enjoy your vacation and please take care of him,”

“Bye Dean,” she hanged up.

Dean sank on the mattress thinking of Charlie’s words _‘Cas has been a mess this two months, he’s starting to improve, so I don’t want you to ruin this Dean, you had your chance, now please, stay away from him,’_ He had spent all those weeks thinking about Cas and feeling bad for being away from him, but he never stopped to think how would Cas feel.

‘Yep, I’m an asshole and I don’t deserve him,’ he thought.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, i hope you liked it! Next one is going to be all about Cas, Charlie and Nik going to California! 
> 
> **Edited: I know some of you didn't like the fact that Charlie didn't tell Cas that Dean was on the phone, and that she seemed controlling, just remember, the next chapter is what happened on the other side of the line, so please, relax.**
> 
>  
> 
> I promise i'll try to update pretty soon, and i'm actually leaving a little preview here, so enjoy. 
> 
>  
> 
> “So, at which hotel are we staying? I want to make sure that it’s pet friendly,” said Cas. They were sitting on the deck of the In N’ Out.
> 
> “We’re not staying at a hotel,” said Sam,
> 
> “Where then?” asked Cas squinting his eyes.
> 
> “Well, first of all, do you remember that I have two roommates back in Palo Alto?” asked Sam,
> 
> “Yes,” 
> 
> “Well one of them, Balt, is from a wealthy English family and his sister has a house in South Pasadena, we’re staying there… my roomies are joining us in our plans, I hope you don’t mind,” said Sam,
> 
> “I love South Pasadena,” said Cas with a smile, “When are your friends arriving?” 
> 
> “They’re already here actually, Balt brought his own car so they went to the house while we waited for you,” explained Sam.
> 
> “Okay,” said Cas; he went back to eating his burger.
> 
> Once they were finished they returned to the car and drove to the house. Charlie had never been to LA, so they gave her a quick tour trough Hollywood Blvd. in the car. 
> 
> “It’s actually not that big… like every time you see it on TV they make you think about this huge street full of lights and eternal party, but I think the ‘touristic part’ is only like two or three blocks long,” said Jess.
> 
> “Is that the Chinese theatre?” asked Charlie, “wow it looks more spectacular on TV,” she said.  
> _____
> 
> There you go, Yes, Sam and Jess are spending their vacations with Cas and Charlie!
> 
>  
> 
> Hey guys, wanted to ask you a special favor, is not a big deal, but this event i'm attending to during the weekend is kind of important and a few animation companies will be recruiting (no big deal, just nick, disney, sony...), that's why i've been so busy, trying to work on my portfolio. Anyway, i'm not a religious person but i believe in energy and good vibes, so if during the weekend you could send me your positive thoughts and good vibes i would really appreciate it.
> 
> Thanks four reading :)


	22. I want to do something crazy with my hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas, Charlie and Nik go to California; Sam and Jess join them and they bring Sam's roommates with them. Cas ends up rethinking his life choices thanks to Sam's roomies and he takes drastic decisions. Finally, after 2 months, Dean and Cas are ready to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back from my trip! It turned out the event wasn't as cool as i was expecting, they only had good publicity but they didn't give us what they promised. 
> 
> And well, now i'm back in my city and I have a new chapter for you! 
> 
> A little warning here, first, at some point there's alcohol mixed with antidepressants (it kinda happens by accident), you should never mix those, you probably won't die but you'll get super drunk pretty fast and feel ridiculously thirsty. (the voice of experience talking guys.)
> 
> I hope you like it, thanks for reading and for your kind words (and the not so kind too). Again i apologize for any mistakes, remember that english isn't my first language. (also i'm super sleepy right now)
> 
> (Oh and by the way, i'm still on denial about Charlie's death, so yeah, here's some nice happy Charlie, and lets all pretend that everything's fine).

* * *

 

Cas hugged Chuck tightly,

“I’m going to be fine father, I’m just going to California,” said Cas,

“Sorry, it’s my duty to worry about you, you’re my son,” said Chuck with a smile.

“You never worry about me,” said Gabe,

“Of course I do, is just that if I worried about every crazy thing you do, my hair would be completely gray by now,” said Chuck rolling his eyes.

“Good point,” said Gabe, “C’mon Cassie, you still need to finish packing,”

“Right, okay, good bye father, I promise I’ll text you tomorrow before we leave and then as soon as we land,” said Cas,

“Okay, take care… but most important, have fun,” said Chuck patting Cas on the shoulder.

Gabriel drove Cas and Nik back to the apartment; it was a Saturday, the 19th to be precise, which meant that they had already finished their projects at Kraken and that they would be leaving next day to California.

Gabe parked outside Cas’s building,

“Okay Cas, I’ll pick you up tomorrow at noon, don’t forget to pack your sunscreen,”

“Thanks Gabriel, see you tomorrow,” Cas waved goodbye and walked towards his building.

* * *

 

He finished packing and then double-checked his list to make sure that everything was ready. He put food and water in Nik’s bowls and then he took a bath,

“I need to relax before tomorrow, traveling can be stressful,” he told his dog. Lately he had developed a habit of talking to his dog, even more than usual.

He took a bubble bath and listened to relaxing music for almost an hour then he got out of the bathtub and got ready for bed.

“Goodnight Nikola Tesla,” he said to his dog once they both were on bed, the little dog yawned and made himself comfortable next to Cas.

* * *

 

“Hi Cassie, ready to go?”

“Yes, can you help me with my stuff?” asked Cas,

“Sure, I’ll take your suitcase, you take the kennel and Nik,” Cas hung his backpack on his back, then he put the leash on Nik’s collar and finally he grabbed the kennel,

“Okay, I’m ready, can you lock the door please?” asked Cas walking out of the apartment. Gabe stopped and locked the door with the key,

“Done, let’s go, Charlie must be waiting for us,” said Gabe.

* * *

 

Charlie was already waiting on the sidewalk when they arrived to her building; Gabe parked and Cas moved to the backseat of the car, luckily Chuck let them use his, otherwise they’d be all cramped inside Gabe’s small car.

Charlie climbed in and turned around to say hi to Cas and Nik, she seemed pretty happy and exited.

“California!” she said with a big smile,

“California,” said Cas.

Gabe dropped them at the airport at 1:45 pm, the flight would be leaving at 4:05 pm.

“Okay kids, take care, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do and please bring presents,” said Gabe while hugging them,

“Bye Gabe, thanks for the ride,” said Charlie with a smile,

“No problem, see you guys in a week,” He went back to the car and left.

“Okay Cas, it’s adventure time,” said Charlie with a smile,

“With Cas the human and Nik the dog,” joked Cas. Charlie pushed him playfully and they walked together inside the airport.

 

* * *

 

Once the check-in and the revisions were ready, they waited for their boarding to begin. After a few minutes Cas stood up,

“I’m getting something to eat, do you want anything?” he said pointing at a Mc Donald’s,

“Yeah, just a strawberry soda, please,” she said. Cas handed her the kennel with Nik inside and he went to get their stuff.

He was on the line waiting for his turn when he heard the employee say that they were out of strawberry and grape soda, so he walked back to Charlie to ask her if she wanted anything else.

Charlie was talking on the phone and she seemed a little upset,

“They don’t have strawberry anymore, is cherry okay?” asked Cas.

Charlie stopped talking and turned to him with a smile,

“Yeah, thanks oh and can you get me some onion rings too? Thanks,” she said; Cas nodded and went back to the line.

He returned a few minutes later with their food,

“Here you go, can I leave this here? I’ll go wash my hands,” asked Cas leaving the paper bag on the seat next to Charlie,

“Sure Cas,” she said. Cas didn’t know why but she was acting weird.

* * *

 

Charlie felt guilty immediately after talking with Dean, so once she made sure that Cas wasn’t on a hearing range, she sighed and grabbed her phone, she dialed back to Dean.

“Hello?” asked Dean,

“Dean, I’m sorry I acted like that… it’s just, I was upset… I still am, to be honest,” she apologized,

“I get it, I know I fucked up, I should have called sooner, you’re my friend too and I stopped talking to you for no reason, I’m sorry Charlie,”

“That’s not what I mean… I mean, yeah that sucks too, but I’m upset because it took you this long to try to reach for Cas again, that’s stupid Dean, you’re best friends; he’s been feeling like shit and now when he’s finally making some progress you decide to call… But I guess I was a bit selfish, I shouldn’t be taking decisions for him, I mean… If he wants to talk to you he has all the right in the world,” she said,

“Can I talk to him then?” asked Dean, Charlie could practically hear the smile in his voice,

“He went to wash his hands, we’re about to have lunch, but I’ll ask him when he comes back, I’m not promising anything, okay? I’ll tell him that you called and that you want to talk to him and apologize,” she said,

“What if he doesn’t want to?” asked Dean clearly worried,

“I’ll text you to let you know,” she answered,

“Okay, thanks Charlie, and again, sorry for being an ass,” he said,

“It’s okay Dean, I’m still a little upset with you to be honest, but I kinda get it… and I’m sorry for being an ass too,” she said, Dean chuckled; “I’m hanging up now, I’m taking care of a bag of food and Nik is eyeing it like it contains the wonders of the universe, I’ll talk to Cas, promise,”

“Okay, bye Charlie,”  
  
She felt a little better after calling Dean again, she was upset but it wasn’t her business to decide if Cas should talk to him or not.

* * *

 

A few minutes later Cas came back,

“Sorry it took me this long, I found an iPhone in the bathroom and I had to take it to lost & found,”

“Wow I would cry for a week if I lost my phone,” she said,

“Yes, I would too,” he said grabbing the paper bag from his seat. After Cas sat down, Charlie cleared her throat and Cas stopped opening the bag to look at her friend, “Is everything fine Charlie?” he asked,

“Cas, I need to tell you something but please don’t get upset, okay?” she said,

“What is it?” he asked curious,

“Dean just called me,” she said closing her eyes, “well technically I just called him, I mean, he called and I told him to fuck off but then I felt super guilty because he’s still my friend and I have no right to decide over your life so I called him back and…” she was talking pretty fast,

“Charlie, wait… talk slower,” said Cas,

“Sorry, I got nervous… the point is, Dean called you but he got a recording saying that your old number doesn’t exist anymore, so he called me to see if everything was okay, and he wanted to talk to you… I told him to fuck off but then I felt bad, so I called him again, he apologized and he wants to talk to you, it’s not my business to decide if you should talk to him, so I’m sorry… I’m basically just passing the message, he wants to talk to you…” Cas stared at her and blinked a couple of times,

“I hmm…”

“You don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want to, I told him that I would ask but that I couldn’t promise anything,” she said placing a hand on Cas’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to talk to him… I mean, I want to, but not like this… we need to talk in person, not over a phone call, and I’m pretty sure that if we talk right now It’ll upset me… we’re supposed to have fun on our vacation, I don’t want to ruin it by being all miserable again… I’m happy he called thought, but he made me wait all this time, I guess it’s only fair if he waits another week to talk to me,” Charlie nodded and grabbed her phone,

“Okay, I’ll text him,” she said.

“No, I’ll do it…” he picked his phone and began to write, it took him a few minutes but he finally wrote a decent text,

**Hello Dean, Charlie told me that you called. I’m glad that you finally want to talk but I don’t think this is the right moment. We need to talk in person and I’m about to board a plane. Please don’t think that I don’t want to talk to you, because I do. I’ll contact you as soon as I’m back from my vacation. Have a nice day.**

After he sent the text he realized that Dean didn’t have his new number, so he sent another text,

**I’m Cas by the way. This is my new number. My old phone had a little accident.**

He put the phone back in his pocket and began to take his food out of the paper bag; he handed Charlie her soda and her onion rings,

“You okay?” she asked,

“Yes, I just… I don’t know what to think, but I’m glad that Dean wants to talk again, I have a lot of things to think about I guess,” he said before taking a bite of his burger.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that Dean was on the phone, I mean, you were right next to me, I could have asked, I don’t know what got into me,” she apologized again.

  
“It’s okay Charlie, it wasn’t the right thing to do but I know you had your reasons, besides it was probably for the best, I don’t know how I would have reacted if you handed me the phone with a call from Dean to be honest,” he said with a sad smile.

“Still, I’m sorry… I don’t want to start our vacation with the wrong foot,” she said.

“No hard feelings,” he answered finally.

They kept eating in silence for a few minutes, Nik crying and begging for a piece of food.

“So, are you ready to talk to him then?” she asked,

“Not really… I don’t know… but I have a week to get ready for that, I’m ready to get my best friend… my best male friend back, I really miss him and I know things wont be the same, but I’m willing to try,” he said. Charlie smiled and ruffled his hair.

“You know, since we’re in the honest hour here, there’s something else I need to tell you, I actually wanted to surprise you, but I guess I had to tell you eventually… guess who’s picking us up at the airport?” she asked with a smile,

“Humm… Mickey?” asked Cas,

“Nope, way taller and hairy,” she said with a smile,

“Chewbacca?” asked Cas,

“Well, it’s basically the same… but the answer is Sam,” she said with a smile; Cas gave her a wide smile and she nodded, “Yeah, they’re joining us for our vacation,”

“Jess too?” asked Cas with excitement,

“Yep,” Cas smiled and looked at the hour on his phone. He couldn’t wait to be at California.

* * *

 

Dean sat cross-legged on his bed. He had placed his phone right in front of him and he was waiting for an answer from Cas or Charlie. He kept staring at the phone for almost ten minutes, wondering if it wasn’t too late to try to fix things with Castiel.

After what seemed to him like an eternity, the screen of his phone lit up, _‘text, he doesn’t want to talk’_ , he thought with sadness. He picked up the phone expecting to see a text message from Charlie, but he was surprised to see that it was from an unknown number.

**Hello Dean, Charlie told me that you called. I’m glad that you finally want to talk but I don’t think this is the right moment. We need to talk in person and I’m about to board a plane. Please don’t think that I don’t want to talk to you, because I do. I’ll contact you as soon as I’m back from my vacation. Have a nice day.**

He read the text a couple of times, it was Cas, he wanted to fix things, and he wanted to talk to him. Dean felt like he could start jumping on his bed right in that moment, then another text came in,

**I’m Cas by the way. This is my new number. My old phone had a little accident.**

Dean laughed like an idiot, Cas was such a dork, and he loved him for that. He couldn’t wait to see him again.

“What has you smiling like a teenage girl taking to her crush?” asked Bobby leaning on the doorframe.

Dean looked at him a little surprised and pointed at his phone,

“That’s because I’m a teenage girl talking to my crush,” said Dean with a smile.

“You talking to Cas?”

“Yeah, he’s at the airport right now but we’ll talk in person when he comes back,”

“Okay… how the hell did that happen? Not that I’m not happy,” asked Bobby curiously.

“I have a lot to tell you Bobby,” said Dean standing up, “c’mon I’ll tell you in the kitchen, I’m starving”.

They walked straight to the kitchen, and with a nice bowl of chili and a beer in front of him, Dean finally started to tell his story to Bobby.

* * *

After a flight of 4 hours and 15 minutes, they finally landed at LAX. They picked up their stuff and walked out the gate to look for Sam. The guy obviously stuck out between the people.

Cas and Charlie walked towards Sam and Jess; as soon as the blonde saw them she started to give small jumps and waved at them,

“Hi guys, how was the flight?” asked Sam helping Charlie with her suitcase,

“It was fine, Nik was an angel and he slept most of the time,” she said hugging Jess, “How about you? How was your drive?”

“It was fine, we left Palo Alto at 10 AM and arrived here at 4, a little traffic as soon as we arrived to LA, but we’re pretty excited,” said Jess.

They walked out the airport and went to the parking lot to find the car, it was a black Prius; Charlie wanted to ask him if Dean knew about his car, but mentioning Sam’s brother wasn’t probably a good idea at the time.

They put their stuff in the trunk, took Nik out of his kennel and climbed in the car.

“So, In N’ Out then?” asked Sam. Everyone agreed (Even Cas who had eaten Mc Donald’s at the airport) and Sam drove out of the airport looking for the closest In N’ Out.

* * *

 

“So, at which hotel are we staying? I want to make sure that it’s pet friendly,” said Cas. They were sitting on the deck of the In N’ Out; Charlie had taken care of the tickets and reservations, so he was clueless.

“We’re not staying at a hotel,” said Sam,

“Where then?” asked Cas squinting his eyes.

“Well, first of all, do you remember that I have two roommates back in Palo Alto?” asked Sam,

“Yes,”

“Well one of them, Balt, is from a wealthy English family and his sister has a house in South Pasadena, we’re staying there… my roomies are joining us in our plans, I hope you don’t mind,” said Sam,

“I love South Pasadena,” said Cas with a smile, “When are your friend arriving?”

“They’re already here actually, Balt brought his own car so they went to the house while we waited for you,” explained Sam.

“Okay,” said Cas; he went back to eating his burger.

Once they were finished they returned to the car and drove to the house. Charlie had never been to LA, so they gave her a quick tour trough Hollywood Blvd. in the car.

“It’s actually not that big… like every time you see it on TV they make you think about this huge street full of lights and party, but I think the ‘touristic part’ is only like two or three blocks long,” said Jess.

“Is that the Chinese theatre?” asked Charlie, “wow it looks more spectacular on TV,” she said.

* * *

 

South Pasadena is a small city located between Pasadena and Los Angeles. Castiel had visited a few times that city when he was younger; the place was quiet and beautiful. It was like the typical American small city you see in the movies; in fact a lot of famous movies were filmed in the city.

“You see that house?” asked Cas to Charlie,

“Yeah, it seems familiar,” she said,

“It’s Mike Myers’s house, from the movie Halloween,” he said,

“God, you’re right… how cool is that?” she said with excitement.

“We can come back another day and take pictures if you want,”

“Yes please!” she said.

  
They arrived to a big house (almost as big as Chuck’s) with a huge front yard. They unloaded the stuff from the car and walked into the building.

As soon as they opened the door, they could hear music and someone laughing. The house was beautiful, with white walls, minimalist decoration and huge windows. A glass door behind the living room opened and a thin blond guy wearing swim trunks walked in.

“I though I heard the door,” said the guy, he had a British accent, so Cas immediately knew that it was Balt.

“Yeah, brought you guys some In N’ Out,” said Sam with a smile, “Oh, and these are my friends, Cas and Charlie, and that little guy is Nikola Tesla, Guys this is Balthazar mi roomie,”

“Interesting name for a dog,” said Balt with a smile; he shook hands with Cas and Charlie, “and call me Balt, welcome to my sister’s house, there’s alcohol outside and our obnoxious third roommate is waiting for us by the pool, why don’t we go upstairs and I show you to your room, Sam said you can share one, is it alright?”

“Yeah, no problem,” said Charlie. He guided them to a big room with a huge bed in the middle; the room had its own bathroom and even a balcony.

“Wow, this is awesome,” said Charlie, Balthazar just smiled.

“Sam and Jess, I put your things on the room next door, now, pool anyone?” said Balt.

“Yeah, coming just let us change into something more appropriate,” said Sam.

“Okay, see you outside, thanks for the burgers.”

* * *

 

Cas and Charlie went outside to find a huge backyard with a big pool and a deck with a couple of couches and a full equipped bar. Balt and another guy where sitting at the bar enjoying their burgers; Jess and Sam were talking to them standing at the other side of the bar.

“Wanna swim?” asked Charlie,

“Sure,” said Cas, he put Nik on the floor.

“Guys,” called Sam, he moved his head to signal them to join them. Cas and Charlie walked towards the bar.

“This is Eddie, our other roommate, Eddie, Cas and Charlie, my friends from South Dakota,” said Sam with a smile. Sam’s roommate was tall, not as tall as Sam, but he was close, he was chubby and he had short dark hair with a purple stripe on the front; he also had a long beard and was wearing a piercing on his left ear.

Eddie cleaned his fingers (greasy and salty from the fries) on his shirt and then stretched his hand to shake Charlie’s hand.

“Hi, really nice to meet you, I love your hair is it your natural color?” he asked with a smile,

“Hi, nice to meet you too… yeah, all natural,” she answered with a smile, passing a hand through her hair. Eddie smiled again at her and then turned his attention to Castiel,

“Hi, nice to… wow, your eyes,” he said staring at Cas.

“What? Is there something wrong with them?” asked Cas; he started to blink repeatedly.

“No, there’s nothing wrong with them, they’re just beautiful,” he said.

“Hmm… I, thanks I guess,” said Cas blushing.

“Eddie would you please stop, what did I tell you before leaving Palo Alto?” asked Balthazar rolling his eyes.

“Stop telling people that they’re beautiful the moment you first meet them, it’s bloody disturbing,” said Eddie trying to imitate Balt’s accent.

“I actually liked that he said nice things about my hair,” said Charlie with a shy smile.

“See? It works, people like it when I compliment their beauty,” said Eddie in a sassy tone.

“That’s actually pretty sweet, that’s why I love Eddie, he always makes me feel better,” added Jess with a smile.

“You know it sister,” said Eddie winking to Jess. Balt just rolled his eyes and went back to his burger.

Sam opened the fridge of the bar and looked inside,

“You guys want something to drink?” He asked, “there’s beer, wine, soda, apple juice, orange juice, water and a weird Japanese bottle with a coconut on the label,”

“Apple juice for me,” said Cas,

“Yeah, me too,” said Charlie with a smile. Sam handed them their drinks.

“Okay guys, I don’t know about you but that pool is calling me,” said Jess. She took Sam’s hand and the walked towards the pool.

“We’ve got to wait half an hour before going in, but feel free to join Sam and Jess,” said Balt munching on an onion ring.

“Okay,” said Charlie, “oh and… I love your beard Eddie,” she smiled and pushed Cas a little; Cas nodded and walked to the pool as well.

* * *

 

Cas loved swimming, when he was little Bobby and Chuck would usually take them to the lake during summer and he loved being in the water; he was actually pretty sure that Chuck bought a house with a pool just to make Cas stay, it didn’t work of course.

They had a great time, eventually Balt and Eddie joined them and Cas decided after half an hour that he really liked Sam’s roommates.

“So Cas, how’ve you been man?” asked Sam, the rest of the group were in the other side of the pool talking happily about their plans for the week.  
  
“Fine, I guess… it’s been a weird couple of months, but I’m doing fine,” he said,

“I still don’t understand what happened man, I mean, I know it is not my business, but this situation sucks,” admitted Sam,

“We both said and did stupid things, I guess it was my fault for suggesting that we should stop being roommates,” said Cas with a shrug.

“No way man, Dean’s an adult and he shouldn’t have reacted like that, you were asking to stop being roommates, not friends… and to be honest, he’s acting like a total jerk, he stopped talking to Charlie, he stopped calling me or sending e-mails, I have to ask Bobby about Dean because he won’t tell me himself…” Sam took a deep breath trying to calm down and then smiled, “Bobby says that he’s living his second adolescence,” he joked.

“Well, that’s impossible… because he never stopped being an annoying teenager on the first place,” said Cas with a smile. Sam snorted and relaxed a little when he saw that Cas was taking the situation with humor.

“C’mon we should probably join the others and make plans for the week,” said Sam with a smile. Cas agreed and they swam towards the rest of the group.

 

* * *

 

After a lot of planning they decided that they would visit Disney the next day; Nik would be staying home since they didn’t allow pets at the park. Apparently Balt’s sister had a playground for her dogs on a corner of the backyard; she was visiting her parents in France and she had taken the dogs with her, but she was okay with Nik using the playground.

“We should probably go to bed, we need to leave early tomorrow,” said Sam.

They were on the couches at the deck, having a few drinks and playing cards.

“You’re right,” said Balt.

They stood up and walked upstairs.

* * *

 

Next morning, Charlie woke up pretty early because she was really excited about going to Disneyland; since everyone was still asleep; she decided to take Nik for a walk.

When Charlie returned to the house, she found Eddie and Jess in the kitchen.

“Hey guys,” she said; she took off the leash from Nik’s collar and walked straight to the coffee machine.

“Oh, hi Charlie, I didn’t know you were up,” said Jess.

“I woke up kinda early, so I took Nik for a walk, didn’t want to wake Cas up, you know how he gets if you wake him up,” said Charlie.

Eddie was flipping pancakes on the stove,

“He seems so sweet, can’t be that bad,” he said,

“Lets just say that Sam is only afraid of two things, clowns and waking up Castiel,” joked Jess.

“Wow,” said Eddie. Jess took a quick look at the stairs to make sure that Cas was still in his room.

“How’s he doing? Sam talked to him yesterday and he says he’s fine but, what do you think?” she asked lowering her voice,

“It’s been hard, I’m not gonna lie, but he’s making progress… and, hum, Dean called yesterday, he wanted to talk,” said Charlie; Eddie was listening but he stayed out of the talk since he didn’t understand what was going on.

“Wow, what happened?”

“Well he called me, because he didn’t have Cas’s new number, and he apologized for being an asshole, he says that he wants to fix things with Cas,” explained Charlie,

“Did they talk?”

“Nope, Cas says he wants to fix things in person, not through a phone call, so he asked Dean to wait until we come back home,” answered Charlie.

“Do you think they’ll be able to fix this?” asked Jess.

“Well, I really hope so, those two aren’t supposed to be apart, it’s just weird… they kinda need each other to be completely happy,” said Charlie with a sigh.

“Girls, I know this isn’t my business, but are you talking about Dean -beautiful green eyes- Winchester?” Asked Eddie. Charlie snorted and Jess nodded trying not to laugh, “Is he Cas’ boyfriend or something? This sounds like a drama,” he added,

“I wish it was that simple… no, they’re best friend and they had a stupid fight and now they’re not talking anymore… you’re right on the drama part, though,” said Charlie rolling her eyes.

“That sucks,” said Eddie. They heard footsteps coming from the stairs,

“Charlie, have you seen… oh, there he is,” said Cas, he picked up Nik and kissed him on the forehead, “I couldn’t find him when I woke up,” he said putting the dog back on the floor.

“Morning Cas, you’re up early,” said Jess.

“I didn’t want to make everyone late because of my laziness, so I set up my alarm,” he said with a smile.

They had breakfast in a comfortable silence; eventually Balt and Sam joined them too. By 9:30 am, they were already on their way to Disney; Cas made sure that Nikola Tesla was safely locked in the playground, with enough water and food for the day. They decided to drive in Balt’s SUV instead of taking 2 cars. The drive was nice, Balt drove and Sam sat next to him.

“So, Balt, how does a rich British guy end up studying in California?” asked Charlie after a while. Balthazar laughed and looked at Charlie trough the rearview,  
  
“I get that question a lot,” he said, “it is actually quite simple, I fell in love with an American girl I met on a cruise, she was going to study in Stanford and I am always looking for ways to annoy my parents,”

“Wow, and did it work? With the girl I mean, ” said Charlie,

“For a while, yeah, then she changed me for a French bloke… but that’s fine I guess, I love living here and I have to thank her for that,” he said with a smile.

“And how did you end up living with Sam and Eddie?” she asked.

“Sam and I had a few classes together, he was looking for a roommate and I was getting tired of my old one, he was odd… so anyway, I talked to Sam, he introduced me to Eddie and a week later they helped me to move in,” he explained. After Balt’s story, Eddie told Charlie how he met Sam.

“Okay, so let me get this right,” said Charlie with a huge grin, “Sam, you held the hand of a stranger and walked with him in front of his ex,”

“Hey, the guy was being a douche, he was making fun of Eddie in front of the whole hall,” said Sam,

“You should’ve seen it, he was my knight in shinny armor, my ex was super jealous after that and he kept trying to apologize… but I’m sorry honey, you don’t get to fat shame me in front of my fucking class and then expect to keep being my boyfriend,” said Eddie snapping his fingers.

Everyone kept laughing as Eddie told the story again.

* * *

 

Eventually they arrived to Disneyland. It was a little early but there were already a few cars in the parking lot. It was a Monday, but it was spring break so they weren’t sure of what to expect.

Charlie was pretty excited; she was jumping and clapping like crazy. It turned out that Balt had never been to Disneyland either, so they kept talking of all the attractions they wanted to try,

“Dude, space mountain!” said Charlie pointing at a map they’ve bought,

“Splash mountain!” added Balt,

“Oh! Stars tour! And the Haunted Mansion!”

“Guy, are you gonna stay there all day naming all the attractions in the park, or are you actually going to try them?” asked Sam laughing.

“You’re right… sorry, remember it’s out first time here,” said Charlie blushing a little.

“Anyway, why don’t we start walking and if any of us see anything interesting we stop,” said Jess.

“That’s fine for me, and since I don’t ride in those crazy ass roller coasters because I value my life, that train is speaking to me,” said Eddie pointing at the Disneyland Railroad.

They ended up taking the train; Cas wasn’t a big fan of roller coasters either because of his anxiety so he loved the idea of the train. Balt and Charlie thought it would be a great idea to have a preview of the park. Sam and Jess felt like they were taking their kids on vacation.

They had a great time; Charlie and Eddie insisted that they needed a picture outside Sleeping Beauty’s castle and Balt got Mickey ears for everyone. When the group wanted to try a ride that Cas and Eddie deemed ‘too stressful’, they would wait for their friends in the safety of the ground.

“So, why don’t you like going on those things? Are you afraid of heights too?” Asked Eddie while sharing a bag of popcorn with Cas.

“Well, being dropped from a considerable height and feeling like my heart is going to come out of my mouth any minute doesn’t sound appealing to me,” said Cas with a smile.

“Finally someone that understands me,” said Eddie, “my cousin dropped me from a tree when we were 6, I’m terrified of heights since then, and he’s terrified of my grandma since that day too.”

“Haven’t you seen a specialist for that?” asked Cas,

“Yeah, and I mean, I can take planes and climb trees now, I’m okay with that, but roller coasters, no way.”

“Is he telling you the tragic story of his cousin and the tree?” asked Balt walking towards them. Cas just smiled and nodded; he saw that Balt was only joined by Sam,

“Where are Charlie and Jess?” asked Cas,

“Restroom,” said Sam.

“Okay, How was your ride?” asked Cas.

“It was awesome man, I feel bad cause you’re not having fun though,” admitted Sam.

“Are you crazy? Cas and I are having a great time, thank you very much,” said Eddie.

“Still, are you guys sure you don’t wanna give it a try?” asked Sam.

“Well, I’m actually pretty excited for the Haunted Mansion,” said Cas.

“Really mate? You don’t want to ride a flying Dumbo but you’re excited for a haunted manor?” Asked Balt,

“I could fall from the flying elephant and break my neck, at least in the mansion I know what to expect,” said Cas.

“Good point,” said Balthazar with a shrug.

After the girls returned from the restroom they continued their tour through the park. Luckily for Cas and Eddie there were a lot of attractions that they were willing to try and a lot of stores to spend the time at while they waited for the others.

They were on the line to pay for a box of star wars legos when a girl of about 16 years old standing next to them smiled to Eddie,

“I love your hair,” she said.

“Thanks, I dye it myself,” he said with a smile.

“Wow, I’ve always wanted to dye my hair, maybe pink, but I don’t think it would look nice,” she said.

“Honey if you want to dye your hair pink just do it, you’ll look even more beautiful,” he said.

“You think I look beautiful?” she asked blushing.

“Of course,” he answered with a smile. They paid for their stuff and said goodbye to the girl.

“Goodbye, thanks for your kind words… I’m totally dying my hair,” she said waving goodbye.

Once they were outside of the store they sat at a bench.

“Wow, you really made that girl’s day with your words,” said Cas.

“Like I always say, a compliment can make a person’s day or even their life, you never know,” said Eddie with a smile.

“How long have you been doing that?” asked Cas.

“ A little after I moved in with Sam, I was pretty depressed because of the awful stuff my ex used to say to me, and I don’t know, one day I woke up and I said ‘Eddie, this isn’t you, you need to let go of that shit,’ it was a long process but once I started to feel better with myself I realized that there’s maybe a lot of people going through the same thing out there, so I decided to start complementing people everyday,” he said,

“That’s really nice, sometimes people really need a nice word to keep going,” said Cas.

“The thing with you Cas, is that I complimented your outer beauty but you didn’t care, which is funny because you’re gorgeous and apparently you don’t mind,” said Eddie; Cas just stared at him squinting his eyes, “that means of course, that I need to compliment something from the inside, so I need to know you better, I can’t just tell you ‘you’re a great friend’ if I don’t know you, right?”

“It makes sense,” said Cas smiling.

“You smile but your eyes look sad Cas,” said Eddie.

“It’s complicated,”

“I’m going to help you,”

“It’s useless, believe me, that ship sailed a long time ago,” said Cas with a sigh.

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the sounds of the tourist walking through the park, the kids laughing and the distant music.

“I want to do something crazy with my hair,” said Cas suddenly,

“What?” asked Eddie,

“I’ve always had the same haircut, since I was a kid… but almost two month ago I decided that I want to do something different with it, I just don’t know what yet, I haven’t gotten a haircut since then… also, I’ve never told this to anyone, not even Charlie,” said Cas.

“I totally can help you with that! Maybe a Mohawk, or we could dye it,” said Eddie excited.

“Dyeing it sounds nice… I guess I still have a few days to think about it,” said Cas with a smile.

“Have you really had the same haircut your whole life, though?” asked Eddie,

“Yes, I was raised by a single dad and Sam’s uncle, and I was homeschooled so fashion wasn’t really our thing,” said Cas.

“Wow,” said Eddie.

“Hey, ready for the Haunted Mansion?” asked Sam taking a seat next to them.

“Totally,” said Eddie with excitement,

“C’mon then.”

They had an incredible time at the Mansion; to everyone’s surprise the one who got scared the most was Balthazar: he kept yelling and cursing the whole time. After their visit to the Mansion they decided to get something to eat,

“Man this food is expensive,” said Charlie,

“Yeah, but it’s amazing,” added Jess.

“This place is huge,” said Balt,

“it was a good idea to buy the multi-day tickets,”

“I can’t believe we get to come back tomorrow!” said Charlie happily, “best vacation ever.”

They resumed their tour after lunch; Charlie practically dragged Cas to the ‘Finding Nemo’ submarine voyage and then she convinced everyone to go to the ‘Mad Tea Party’.

“Man, I wanna try those super drunk, maybe I’ll do it next time,” said Eddie.

At the end of the day, they waited for the parade; Charlie, Jess and Eddie sang every single song and they bought mini lightsabers for everyone, they had an amazing time.

Sam drove them back to the house, when they arrived, they had a quick dinner, Jess, Cas and Charlie took Nik for a walk and when they returned to the house they went straight to bed.

The next couple of days were basically the same, waking up early and visiting different parks; on the second day they visited Disney California adventure and on the third day they went to Universal Studios. Charlie kept thanking Cas for their trip and by the end of the third day the whole group was getting along pretty well, it was as if they had known each other for a long time.

* * *

 

After their long day at Universal Studios, Cas was sitting on his bed trying to read a book; Eddie and Sam had gone to buy dinner, and the rest of the group were relaxing at the pool. He had opted for staying in his room for a while, he told Charlie that he needed some alone time after three days surrounded by strangers and loud noises. So here he was, trying to relax and failing miserably. The problem was that earlier that day, Eddie had told him something that left him thinking.

Eddie, Cas and Balt were sitting on the table of the restaurant waiting for the rest of the group to bring the food and Eddie was telling them a story of the time he almost got caught stealing a box of chocolates from a store,

_“So anyway, when he turned around to call security, I pushed him and ran as fast as I could, I didn’t stop running until I was outside my house, and then I noticed that I had held the freaking box too tight and it was ruined man, I didn’t have a present for my date anymore,” he said laughing, “I had to eat them because well, I’ve already stolen the damn thing, and they were delicious, no wonder the guy at the store was super upset, it was expensive chocolate,”_

_“And what did you give to your date?” asked Cas,_

_“Oh, I ended up cutting some roses from the neighbor’s yard,” said Eddie with a smile, “What about you Cas? Tell me a story about your rebellious years,” he suggested._

_“I don’t think I ever had a rebellious phase,” said Cas with a serious expression, “I mean, I did try drugs once in college, but I think that’s it,”_

_“Oh, c’mon mate, what about when you were a teen? Everybody has done some crazy shit, I used to steal my teacher’s mug from the teachers lounge just because I could, it was brilliant he never found out who did it,” said Balt._

_“No, I used to follow my brother and Dean all the time and that got me into a few problems, but I was never the evil mastermind of the team,” said Cas._

_“So you never misbehaved?” asked Balt._

_“No,”_

_“Why not?” asked Eddie._

_“Because nobody likes a child who misbehaves, nobody wants to have a troubled child,”_

_“Wow, what monster told you that?” asked Eddie joking._

_“My mother, when I was 6,” said Cas._

_“I’m sorry,” apologized Eddie._

_“It’s okay, I don’t talk to her anymore, but I guess some things stay in your subconscious.”_

“Cas, dinner’s here,” said Charlie interrupting him from his thoughts.

“Sorry, what?” asked Cas shaking his head,

“Food’s here, wanna go have dinner with the rest of us or do you want me to bring it upstairs?” she said,

“Oh, I’ll go downstairs, thank you Charlie,” he answered. Cas picked Nik from the bed and followed Charlie downstairs.

* * *

 

The next day they decided to visit downtown LA, this time they traveled in Metro because it was faster and the South Pasadena station was actually pretty close to their house. They visited a few museums and had lunch at Little Tokyo.  
They were about to enter the Japanese American National Museum when Eddie stopped them,

“Shit, I forgot my phone in the restaurant, be right back,” he said,

“Do you want us to go with you?” Asked Jess,

“Nah, it’s cool, you go ahead,” he said already starting to run.

* * *

 

15 minutes later, Eddie came back.

 “Did you find your phone?” asked Charlie,

 “Yeah, everything’s fine,” he said patting his pocket.

 They kept walking until it was almost 4 pm, Charlie and Jess taking pictures and sharing them on Instagram.

 When they arrived back to South Pasadena, they picked up Nik from the house and they went for a walk, they bought frozen yoghurt and took pictures outside the house of the movie ‘Halloween’. 

“So, what are we doing tomorrow?” asked Charlie. They were walking back to the house.

“I don’t know what the plan is but can we please go to Griffith Observatory at the end of the day?” asked Cas.

“That sounds like an excellent plan actually,” said Balt. “Well tomorrow we could go to Venice Beach and spend the day there, then we drive back and go to the observatory,”

“Awesome,” said Charlie. When they arrived home they spent some time in the pool but eventually the girls went to sleep; a few minutes later Cas followed their example and said good night to the rest of the group.

Once he was in bed he placed his glasses on the bedside table and hugged Nik, he fell asleep almost immediately.

 

* * *

 They were walking trough the aisles of the Wal-Mart following their mother.

_“Castiel, hold your brother’s hand okay?” Said Naomi._

_“Yes mother,” answered Castiel. He held Michael’s hand and kept looking around while his mother did the shopping. They passed by the books section and Michael stopped for a few minutes to look for a magazine, he started to flirt with a girl and he let go of Cas’s hand; Castiel of course took advantage of the moment and started browsing for books of his interest, he found a book about animals, he grabbed it and sat on the floor to read it._

_He lost track of time, one moment he was reading the book and the next his mother was pulling him by the arm and yelling at him,_

_“What did I tell you Castiel Novak?” she asked,_

_“But I stayed with Michael the whole time, I held his hand,” he said,_

_“No you didn’t your brother and I have been looking for you for fifteen minutes Castiel,”_

_“But I didn’t, I… he was talking to a girl,” said Cas trying to defend himself._

_“Nobody likes a liar Castiel, you let go of my hand and ran away, you’re just like Gabriel, you never listen to what mom tells you,” Cas started to cry._

_“I’m just going to say this once Castiel, nobody likes a child who misbehaves, nobody wants to have a troubled child, and if you can’t behave like a normal person, the next time you do this I’m not going to look for you, you hear me? I’m going to leave you here and you will have to live in a Wal-Mart for the rest of your life,” she said trying to scare Castiel._

_“No mom, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again, I’ll be good I promise, please don’t leave me here,” he said between sobs._

 

He opened his eyes and sat up really quick, it took him a few seconds to realize that it was all a dream, a bad memory of his childhood. He stood up and walked towards the bathroom and locked himself inside.

He stood in front of the mirror for a couple of minutes and washed his sweaty face with cold water, _‘Damn it mother, the only thing you left me were psychological traumas,’_ he thought. He sat on the floor for a while thinking about his nightmare; it was stupid really, he had never been a troublemaker (that was Gabriel’s job), but still, every time he felt like causing trouble while growing up, he had stopped because of his mother words _, ‘nobody likes a child who misbehaves, nobody wants to have a troubled child’… ‘The next time you do this I’m not going to look for you, you hear me? I’m going to leave you here…’_ The irony, Cas thought, was that she actually left,

“I was a good son, I was a good kid and she still left,” he said almost in a whisper. He didn’t want to have a meltdown, so he took a deep breath and 

stood up, he decided that a nice glass of cold water would help him calm down.

Cas walked downstairs carefully, trying not to wake up the others, but soon he heard noises coming from the backyard; when he looked he saw that Sam and his roommates were still hanging out by the pool; he was about to walk to the kitchen when Sam saw him,

“Hey Cas! What are you doing there? Did we wake you up?” asked Sam a little worried.

“Hello Sam, no you didn’t, I woke up from a dream and I was thirsty, I wasn’t aware that you were still out here,” he said.

“Wanna join us?” asked Eddie. Cas didn’t want to go back to bed; he was scared of having the nightmare again, so he accepted the invitation from the guys.

“What time is it anyway?” he asked while joining his friends in the backyard.

“11:37,” answered Balt.

“Wow, I went to bed really early, I was tired I guess,” said Cas. He sat down at a tall chair in front of the bar; Eddie was grabbing drinks from the fridge.

“Want something to drink Cas?” asked Eddie.

“Yes please,” he answered. He was still a little sleepy but at least the nice company was helping him to forget about his bad dream.

Cas turned his attention to the sky, there wasn’t a single cloud that night, but he couldn’t see the stars because he wasn’t wearing his glasses.

“I forgot to put on my glasses, it’s all blurry,” he said, “I’ll go upstairs to get them, I’ll be right back.”

When he returned to the bar a minute later, Eddie handed him a glass with orange juice.

“Thanks,” said Cas, he emptied the glass really fast and placed it on the bar.

“Take it easy, man,” said Eddie,

“Sorry, I was really thirsty… can I have another one?” asked Cas.

“Sure,” Eddie turned around and opened the fridge again.

Sam sat next to Cas in that moment, he cleared his throat and looked at the sky just like Cas was doing,

“So, Cas… Charlie told me that Dean wants to fix things,” he said casually,

“Yes,” answered Cas looking at his friend.

“How do you feel about that?” asked the Winchester, he stopped looking at the sky and directed his attention to his friend. Eddie handed Cas another glass of juice and Cas took a couple of sips before answering the question,

  
“I don’t know,” he sighed, “scared, happy, anxious,” he said finally.

“I know you’ll fix thing Cas,” said Sam with a smile.

“I hope so, I don’t think I can keep living like this any longer,” said Cas. They remained silent for a while. Balt eventually sat next to Sam and Eddie kept working as barman.

“You know Cas?” said Eddie, “it’s been four days and I still can’t figure you out,” said Eddie handing another glass to Cas.

“Well, it’s been 24 years and I still can’t figure myself out either, so don’t feel bad,” said Cas with a giggle.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself Cas,” said Sam drinking from his beer. They changed the subject and started to talk about the school; Cas lost track of the conversation, he kept thinking about his stupid nightmare and for some reason he was feeling more and more thirsty even though he kept drinking form his juice.

“Eddie, can I… can I have another drink? But maybe this time water because I think the sugar of the juice is making me thirsty,” said Cas dragging his words a little. Eddie snorted and handed Cas a bottle of water,

“Wow Cas, are you drunk already?” asked Balt with a smile,

“No, I’m drinking juice,” said Cas,

“With vodka,” said Eddie.

“What?” whispered Cas, “Fuck, that explains why I feel so funny,” he said giggling.

“I thought you knew, you asked for a drink,” said Eddie,

“Well I guess you’re right,” said Cas, “just don’t tell Charlie, I’m not supposed to be drinking,”

“Why? Is she your mom or something?” joked Balt,

“No, if she was my mom she would probably call me a troubled child and then abandon me,” he said with a serious expression. They all looked at him without knowing how to react. “You know what? I had a nightmare, that’s why I woke up, I was six and she said that if I misbehaved again she would leave me, and after that I became a perfect little boy… but she still left… that bitch,” he said.

“Jesus Cas, maybe you should calm down a little,” said Sam.

“No, no Sam, I don’t want to calm down, I’m tired of doing what other people tell me to do, I’m tired of not being myself, I’m 24 years old for fuck sake and all my life I’ve been trying to be a good kid so people wouldn’t hate me. I’ve been hiding myself from everyone else, the only one who really knows me is your stupid brother and I made him leave because his girlfriend told me to do it… well no more, fuck it! Starting today I become a new man, the real Cas!” he said standing up; he tripped with a leg of the chair and fell to the floor but he burst into laughter right after that.

“Eddie, how much vodka did you put in his drinks man? I’ve only seen him like this once,” said Sam trying to help Cas to stand up.

“Well it seemed to me like he needed to relax, and look at him, he looks pretty chill to me,” said Eddie with an apologetic smile.

“You know what we should do?” asked Cas.

“What?” asked Balt with a smirk, he was really enjoying the moment.

“Dye my hair,” said Cas with wide eyes.

“Cas, is freaking 12 am, where are you going to find a place to dye your hair at this freaking hour?” asked Sam rolling his eyes.

“I uh, actually,” said Eddie,

“What?”

“Well he told me the other day that he wanted to dye his hair and today I saw a beauty supply store so I kinda bought the stuff when I said that I was looking for my phone in Little Tokyo,” said Eddie.

“Are you kidding me?” asked Balt.

“Well, I wanted to be ready in case he asked me, he seemed really convinced the day he told me,” said Eddie.

“He, is right here and he can hear you,” said Cas, “and he wants to change the color of his hair,”

“He has spoken,” said Balt raising his glass.

“Don’t encourage him,” said Sam with a bitch face.

“Shut up Sam, let the man live his life, it’s just hair, if he doesn’t like it he can cut it and that’s it, it grows again, chillax,” said Eddie.

“Exactly,” said Cas.

“Okay, I bought pink and turquoise, pick your color,” said Eddie.

“Turquoise,” said Cas with a smile.

* * *

 

A lot of peroxide, bleaching powder and a jar of manic panic later, Cas was spotting awesome turquoise hair.

“What do you think?” asked Eddie showing Cas his reflection on a mirror.

“I love it,” said Cas, “I always wanted hair like this when I was growing up,” he looked pretty happy.

“Lets hope you don’t regret this in the morning,” said Sam.

“I won’t, I really love it,” said Cas with a smile.

“I can give you a haircut too if you want,” said Eddie.

“No, I think I want to keep it like this for a little longer,” said Cas, “but I really like the color.”

“Okay, Cas looks really nice but it’s bloody 2 in the morning and we have to wake up early, so we should all probably go to bed,” said Balt.

“Okay, c’mon lets go upstairs, if you hear screaming in the morning that’s probably Cas realizing what he did to his hair,” joked Sam.

Cas and Eddie rolled their eyes and they all walked upstairs to finally get some sleep.

* * *

Charlie woke up pretty early since she had gone to bed early too, she saw Cas covered in blankets from head to toe and she smiled. She picked Nik from the bed and decided to take him for a walk. When she returned she found Jess making breakfast.

“Hi Jess, the others still asleep?” asked Charlie grabbing a cup of coffee.

“Yeah, Sam went to bed after 2 am, so they’ll probably be out for a while,” she said rolling her eyes.

“Jesus, we’re a couple of boring old ladies, we went to bed super early,” said Charlie.

“I know, what about Cas, is he up?” asked Jess.

“No way, he could go to bed at 5 pm and still find it hard to wake up early,” said Charlie. They decided to have breakfast and not to wait for the guys to wake up. After breakfast, they cleaned up the kitchen and started making sandwiches for their day at the beach.

At 10:15 Sam finally joined them in the kitchen, he was still spotting an incredible case of bedhead.

“Morning sleepyhead,” said Jess,

“You hangover?” asked Charlie,

“Nah, I didn’t drink as much as the rest of the guys,” said Sam. He grabbed a sandwich from the table and then opened the fridge looking for a drink. Ten minutes later Eddie and Balt joined them too,

“Jesus,” said Jess.

“I’m fine, just a little thirsty,” said Eddie.

“A little headache but I will live,” said Balt.

“What about Cas?” asked Eddie.

“He isn’t up yet,” said Charlie grabbing another slice of bread from the bag.

“Well, he got really wasted so I guess he’s really sleeping it off,” joked Eddie.

“What do you mean?” asked Charlie a little confused.

“He joined us after you went to bed, he said he woke up from a nightmare and then he heard us in the backyard… guy is a funny drunk,” said Eddie. Charlie dropped the bag of bread.

“What did you say?” she asked worried, “what did he drink,”

“A lot of vodka mainly,” said Balt.

“Oh my god! He can’t drink you idiots!” she turned around and ran upstairs. The rest of the group followed her.

“Charlie, what the hell? Cas is a grown man,” said Sam. Charlie opened the door of the room she shared with Cas and found him in the same position she had seen him that morning.

“Shut up Sam!” she took of the covers from Cas and started to shake him,

“Charlie, calm down!” Said Eddie,

“The guy is taking antidepressants okay? He can’t drink!” she yelled.

“Cas, Cas, c’mon wake up!”

“Oh my god! We killed him!” said Eddie.

“CAS!” Charlie slapped him and Cas opened his eyes a little upset.

“What?” he said.

“Jesus! You idiot! Are you okay?” she asked hugging him,

“I’m a little thirsty and you just slapped me to wake me up, what’s going on?” He asked with husky voice.

“What’s going on? You drank alcohol Cas! You could have died you idiot!” she said punching him in the arm.

“It was an accident, I asked Eddie for a drink and I didn’t realize he was giving me vodka,” said Cas, “can I go back to bed now?”

“No! You’re getting out of that bed and then we’re taking you to a hospital to check that you’re fine,” she said upset.

“Charlie, you’re overreacting, I’m okay, we can call doctor Norton if you want but I don’t think I need to go to a hospital,” he said rubbing his eyes.

“Oh, damn right I’m calling her,” she said, ”Now, out of that bed, you need to eat something,” she said.

“I’m actually thirsty,”

“I’m going to throw you to the freaking pool!” she said walking out of the room.

“Sorry Cas, we didn’t…” Eddie tried to apologize.

“It’s okay guys, you didn’t know, nobody knows about the pills except from Charlie and my doctor… and well, now the rest of you, I would appreciate it if it remained a secret though,” he said.

“Yeah Cas, no problem,” said Jess.

“Guys, can I have a moment with Cas?” asked Sam.

“Sure, we’ll be in the kitchen, don’t take too long though, Charlie could kill us if Cas doesn’t prove that he’s fine soon,” said Eddie.

Sam sat next to Cas on the bed and waited for his friends to close the door behind them.

* * *

Eddie, Balt and Jess walked into the kitchen to find Charlie trying to calm down.

“Charlie, we’re sorry, we didn’t know and he didn’t know that he was drinking alcohol, it was a misunderstanding, he asked me for a drink and I thought… I’m sorry really,” said Eddie.

“It’s okay Eddie, I overreacted, I was scared, he’s my best friend and I’m supposed to look after him,” she said leaning on the kitchen table.

“It won’t happen again, promise,” said Balt.

“I hope he doesn’t hate me because I told you guys his secret, I wasn’t thinking,” she said.

“Nah, he was cool with it, he asked us to keep it a secret but he seemed fine,” said Eddie.

“I only have a question,” she said.

“What is it?”

“ From all the weird shit you could have done while wasted, did you have to go and dye his freaking hair?” she asked with a smile.

“It was actually his idea, he kinda started talking about how repressed he is because of what his mom used to tell him, and then he was like _‘fuck you mom, you still left me so now I’m going to do whatever I want and what I want is to dye my hair,’_ next thing we know, he had turquoise hair,” said Eddie.

“Well, at least it looks nice, it highlights his eyes,” said Charlie.

* * *

“Cas, why didn’t you tell me?” asked Sam sounding sad.

“I’m sorry Sam, I didn’t want to worry you with my issues,” he admitted.

“Cas, man, you’re like a brother to me, you’re one of my best friends, I’m supposed to help you through stuff like this,”

“I guess, I didn’t want you guys to see that I was struggling with my new life, I wanted everyone to see that I was capable, and I managed to do it, for a while at least… Charlie spends a lot of time with me so she realized that I wasn’t doing okay, she asked if I needed help and then I decided to start seeing doctor Norton again,” confessed Cas.

“Cas, I should’ve known, I’m sorry,” said Sam.

“It isn’t you fault Sam, depression is a constant in my life and you know it, it was just a matter of time… and I’m better now, really, the therapy and the pills are helping a lot,”

“Are you going to tell Dean?” asked Sam,

“I don’t think so, at least not right now, I guess we need to fix things first,”

“Okay, well, if you need anything you can call me or send me an e-mail anytime, you hear me? I really mean it Cas, you’re like a brother to me, and I care about you,” Cas smiled at Sam and hugged him.

“Thanks Sam, now lets go downstairs, I really need to drink something,” said Cas. Sam smiled and ruffled his hair.

“Man, your hair is blue,” he said with a smirk.

“Turquoise, please,” said Cas.

“Do you regret it?”

“Not one bit, I really meant it when I said that I’m going to start being myself, I love my new hair,”

“That’s the only thing that matters,” said Sam.

* * *

Once they called doctor Norton and made sure that Cas was going to live, they packed their stuff and got everything ready for the beach. They didn’t spend a long time there; they walked through the pier and took a lot of pictures. They had some ice cream and let Nik play in the beach for a while.

“I love the beach, but I hate the fucking sun, if I don’t wear enough sunscreen I end up covered in freckles,” said Eddie, he handed his bottle of sunscreen to Jess and she started to put some on his back.

Cas stared at them and smiled, when he heard the word ‘freckles,’ he immediately thought about Dean, he really missed him.

After a while they returned to the house, everyone took a shower and then they went for a nice meal at Los Feliz. It was getting a little late, so they decided to go to the Griffith observatory; it was incredible, the view from upstairs was beautiful, Charlie took a lot of pictures and she thanked Cas once again for their vacation.

Charlie totally fangirled when she realized that inside the observatory they had a place called ‘Leonard Nemoy Event Horizon Theater’.

“Oh my god, this place is awesome, here can you take a picture of us?” asked Charlie handing the Camera to Balt. She hugged Cas and they pointed at the plate announcing the name of the theater.

They went out of the observatory and walked back to the terrace of the museum, it was darker now so they could see all the lights in the city.

“I feel like I’m in a music video,” said Charlie; she took a few selfies with Sam and Jess.

While the rest of the group was taking pictures, Cas approached Eddie.

“I want to thank you,” said Cas,

“Why?” asked Eddie,

“You spent the whole week trying to ‘figure me out’, you told me the first day that I smile but my eyes are sad, and you’re right, these days have helped me realize that I need to fix that, I need to stop living under the shadow of my mother, I need to be myself,” said Cas with a smile.

“Cas, you’re an amazing person and you’re as beautiful in the inside as you are on the outside,” Said Eddie. Cas hugged him and then they stood side by side enjoying the view.

Eventually they went back to the house, they would be leaving the next day, so they decided to have a barbeque in the backyard as a goodbye.

“We need to do this again,” said Balt.

“Yeah, totally, I loved hanging out with you guys,” said Charlie.

“Maybe next spring break?” asked Jess.

“I’m in,” said Sam. They kept talking and planning their next vacation. Charlie and Cas added Balt and Eddie on Facebook and they exchanged phone numbers. It was a great night, they took a lot of pictures and they decided to skip the alcohol for the night, instead they drank apple juice.

* * *

The next morning they loaded their stuff in Sam’s Car and said their goodbyes to Eddie and Balt. Sam and Jess drove them to the airport.

“I’m going to miss you guys,” said Sam,

“I’ll miss you too, Sam,” said Cas hugging his friend.

“Cas, please let me know what happens with my brother okay? I really hope that you two can work things out,”

“To be honest, me too, I miss him a lot,” confessed Cas; Jess hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

“Everything’s going to be fine Cas,” she said.

“Thank you.”

Charlie hugged Sam standing on her tiptoes. He whispered into her ear once he made sure that Cas was busy talking to Jess.

“We really need to talk, I think Lisa had something to do with this mess,” he said. Charlie gave a few steps back and nodded.

“I’ll text you as soon as our plane lands,” said Charlie.

“Great,” said Sam.

They put Nik in his kennel and waved goodbye one last time.

* * *

The flight was nice; they basically slept during the whole thing.

Gabe picked them up at the airport and then they dropped Charlie at her apartment.

“Thanks for everything Charlie,” said Cas.

“Are you kidding me? Thank you Cas,” she said with a smile, “take care of yourself, I’ll call you tomorrow,”

Gabe drove Cas to his apartment next.

“Love what you did with the hair Cassie,” he said with a smile.

“Thanks, I’ve always wanted to do something crazy with it, and it just kind of happened,”

“Well it looks awesome”.

Gabe helped Cas to take his stuff to the apartment. Gabriel wanted to know everything about his vacation but Cas was tired, he promised that he would visit Gabe and Chuck the next day though. After a few minutes Gabe finally gave up and left Cas alone; Cas locked the door behind him and after taking a deep breath he looked at his dog,

“Home sweet home,” he said, he grabbed his phone from his pocket and sent a message to Sam to let him know that he was home.

* * *

“Okay, talk to me,” said Charlie on the phone; the moment Cas and Gabe dropped her at her apartment she called Sam.

“Is Cas around?” asked Sam.

“No, I’m at my apartment now,”

“Okay, so I didn’t realize it when it happened because we were kinda drunk, but this morning I was thinking about what Cas said that day, and I’m pretty sure that he said that Lisa had something to do with this whole mess between him and Dean,” said Sam,

“What? I knew it, that bitch… what the hell happened?”

“Well he started to talk about how he’s always lived under the shadow of his mom and how he always does what others expect from him, I don’t know at some point he started to say that my brother was the only one who really knew him and then he was like ‘I made him leave because his girlfriend told me to do it…’ Has he told you anything?” he said in a worried tone.

“No, I mean, gosh, I asked him once but he kept saying that he wanted to move on with his life, to prove himself that he was able to live on his own and… crap,”

“What?”

“He said he was a burden, he said he only wanted Dean to be happy and that’s why he lied to him… what if Lisa told him to do that? Arrgg that bitch, I can’t believe your brother is dating her,” said Charlie upset. She closed the door of her apartment behind her and threw her backpack to the couch.

“We don’t know for sure if that’s what happened,”

“Should I ask Cas? Maybe you should tell Dean,” said Charlie,

“No, I don’t think so, they’re about to fix things, if we say something we could end up fucking up things even more, god this sucks,” said Sam, “I really hope Dean doesn’t end up marrying her,”

“Oh my god, our poor nephews and nieces,” said Charlie.

“I guess we have to wait to see what happens when Dean and Cas talk,”

“Yeah, you’re right,” said Charlie.

“Charlie, I gotta go, is my turn to drive,” said Sam.

“Okay, say hi to everyone, I’ll keep in touch,” she said.

“Bye Charlie,” Sam ended the call. Charlie walked towards her kitchen and gathered the ingredients to prepare some mac & cheese,

“That freaking witch,” she said with a sigh.

* * *

After a quick shower, Cas grabbed a couple of pop tarts from the kitchen and took Nik to the rooftop, it had only been a week but he had missed doing this. He let the little dog play while he watched the stars. He couldn’t help but wonder what would Dean be doing. He had missed Dean, he had tried not to think about him a lot during his vacation and it had been hard. ‘I should probably tell him that I’m home’ he thought, he took a deep breath and started eating his pop tarts.

It had been a nice vacation, in a few days he had made new friends and he had done things that he would have never thought that he was capable of; but most importantly he had accepted to himself, for the first time, that he had let his mother’s words control his life. He knew it was ridiculous, but still, even though his mother wasn’t part of his life anymore, her words had stuck in Cas’s mind and he was always holding back from being 100% himself. These new things, being honest with his friends, dyeing his hair, being truly happy, that was the real Castiel, and he liked it, he was ready to stop being what his mother wanted and to start being the real Cas; he knew it wouldn’t be easy, but he really wanted to try.

His train of thoughts of course took him to his feelings about Dean, he was still in love with his best friend and he wanted to be honest with him, hiding his feelings was part of the whole ‘mommy’s perfect little boy’ thing, and he wanted to stop being that.

“First I should make sure that we’re still friends, though it doesn’t really matter, Lisa won’t magically go away if I tell him the truth,” he said with a shrug. Nik ran towards him and licked his hand, Cas smiled at his dog.

“I’ll text him tomorrow, I will never have him by my side the way I would like to, but I really want my best friend back,” he said to his dog, “Lets go to bed Nikola Tesla, we have to go to dad’s house tomorrow,” he picked up the dog and went back to his room.

After brushing his teeth and setting up his alarm for the next day, he climbed into bed,

“Good night Nikola Tesla,” he said hugging his little dog.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, next chapter will bring us interesting things, Cas and Dean are going to talk finally, a lot of secrets will be revealed and there'll be a lot of angst and fluff. I'll try to finish it during the weekend!
> 
> Again, thanks for reading and for being patient, i promise you'll get your reward in the next chapter ;)


	23. What I’m about to say might change our friendship forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big moment is here! Dean and Cas finally talk; secrets from the past are revealed. Lots of fluff and angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! New Chapter because I spent the whole weekend writing instead of being a productive member of society! 
> 
> So, here it is, finally Cas and Dean see each other again, i hope you like this. Again, thanks a lot for your kuddos and kind words, you really keep me motivated to write. 
> 
> A few warnings:
> 
> *There's child verbal and psychological abuse in this chapter; Cas talks about things his mom said and did to him (nothing sexual). The verbal part is actually cruel and it might trigger something (if you don't want to read it but you still want to know what happens in the story, you know you can contact me and i can tell you what happened).
> 
> *There's some implied homophobia.

* * *

 

Dean struggled during the whole week against his urge to call Cas; he had his new number now but he knew the guy needed his space. Bobby told him that he could take that week off too, but he decided to go back to work and burry his mind in work instead of thinking about Cas, which of course didn’t work that well. He was constantly wondering _‘what am I going to tell him?’_ and his mood swings were driving everyone else crazy.

He was planning on working on Saturday too but Bobby had refused to,

“No way kid, you need to relax, you’ve been taking double shifts the whole week, if you want to keep your mind busy, go to the movies or call your friends, I don’t know, anything normal people do on a Saturday but you ain’t putting a foot in that garage, you hear me?” said Bobby while they were having dinner on Friday.

“Okay Bobby, Jesus, I get it,” said Dean rolling his eyes. He went upstairs and got ready for bed, it was a little early but he was really tired after a whole week of double shifts.

* * *

 

He woke up on Saturday at 11 am, he felt well rested and hungry; after breakfast he washed Baby and even volunteered to do more chores at the house, 3 hours later Bobby was actually tired of watching him acting like that,

“Son, I gave you the day off to relax not to play Cinderella the whole day,” said Bobby taking the laundry basket from Dean’s hands.

“C’mon Bobby, I want to help,” said Dean sounding like a child.

“Call Benny or Ash, I don’t know, go out, distract yourself damn it,” said Bobby using his ‘dad voice’.

“Okay, I’ll take a shower and call the guys later,” said Dean rolling his eyes.

After his shower he cleaned up his room and then he called both of his friends, Benny was in Louisiana visiting his girlfriend and Ash was in Cancun having the time of his life.

“I need to get more friends,” he said with a pout. He took a nap and when he woke up, he went downstairs to get something to eat.

“Jesus Dean, you look like a caged lion, did you call your friends?” asked Bobby,

“Yeah, They’re not in town,” said Dean,

“Well, wanna do something later, mini golf? Asked Bobby.

“Oh you want me to kick your ass old man? Asked Dean.

“You wish,” said Bobby with a smirk, “I’ll take a little nap then, I want to be ready to kick your ass son,” Dean laughed and walked towards the fridge to find something to eat. Bobby patted him in the shoulder and then he went to his room.  
  
After a nice turkey sandwich and a couple of beers, Dean returned to his room, he sat on his bed for a few minutes and then he grabbed his laptop from under the bed; he had been so busy with work during the whole week that he hadn’t have time to check his personal e-mails or his Facebook. He wasn’t a big fan of social media; he mostly used it to stay in touch with Sam and his friends.

When he logged in on his Facebook the first thing he saw was a picture of Ash at the beach drinking from a huge coconut; Dean smiled and liked his friend’s picture. He went into Ash’s profile and saw a few more pictures of his vacation; the guy was definitely having a good time. After that he checked Benny’s wall as well, he saw a couple of pictures of Benny and his girlfriend at a restaurant.

He knew he was obviously trying to distract himself from the itch of checking Cas’s wall, but after a few minutes he accepted that he was weak and typed in the name of his friend.

Cas was apparently having a great time, Charlie had tagged him on a lot of pictures, they were in Disneyland and “wait, is that Sam?” he kept clicking trough the pictures and saw that in fact it was his brother with Cas, and not only him, Jess too and even Sam’s roommates. _‘So that’s what Sam meant when he said that he had already made plans,’_ Dean thought. He felt a little jealous at first because he wasn’t invited, but if he was honest, he knew that he didn’t deserve it, he hadn’t talked properly with Sam for a while, and his relationship with Charlie wasn’t in the best terms either; and of course there was Cas, who apparently was having a great time not missing Dean.

Dean closed his computer a little harder than necessary and walked towards Bobby’s room.

“Bobby!” he said knocking on the door.

“Come in,” answered Bobby. Dean opened the door and saw Bobby lying on his bed.

“Hey, did you know that Cas is in California with Sam right now?” asked Dean sitting on an old chair next to Bobby’s bed.

“Yeah,” said Bobby sitting up.

“What? How did you know? They didn’t tell me anything,” he said.

“Well, maybe because I keep in touch with your brother, Cas and Charlie so I know what’s going on with their lives,”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It ain’t my business to tell you what they’re doing son, if you want to know what your brother is up to maybe you should call him once in a while,” said Bobby.

“Oh, damn right I’m calling him,” said Dean grabbing his phone.

“Dean, relax, why are you upset?” asked Bobby.

“I umm…”

“You jealous boy?”

“No, it’s just… I’m an idiot Bobby, I keep pushing away the people I love… you’re right I barely talk to Sam anymore and I expect him to tell me things… and I don’t even talk to Charlie anymore because I’m an idiot, how is she supposed to tell me their plans,”

“Congratulations, you finally got your head out of your ass,” said Bobby with a smirk.

“I need to apologize to all of my friends and my brother,” said Dean with a sigh.

“That's actually a good idea,” said Bobby. Dean stood up and walked out of the house, he went to the backyard and sat down on the stairs of the deck. After a few minutes he grabbed his phone and called his brother.

“Hi Dean,” said Sam.

“Hi Sammy, how you doing?” asked Dean.

“Fine, how about you?”

“I umm… fine, yeah, been a little busy with work, double shifts the whole week, but I’m fine,” said Dean.

“Cool, is nice hearing your voice Dean,”

“Yeah, about that… listen Sammy, I’m sorry, I’ve been a jerk lately and I’m sorry okay? I, it’s just… it’s complicated man,” he sucked at apologizing.

“It really isn’t Dean, every time you feel like you screwed up you kinda push everyone away, is like you feel the need to punish yourself,” Dean remained silent for a few seconds.

“I’ve never thought about it that way,” he said finally.

“Well I’m sorry but you do that a lot,” said Sam.

“Oh c’mon man, I mean, I don’t call you as much as I used to but I keep in touch,”

“Really Dean? Because since you moved in with Bobby you’ve only called me once and you sent me two random pictures of a road trip or something, and that’s it,”

“Oh right, like you told me about your plans with Cas and Charlie for spring break right?” asked Dean,

“I tried to Dean, I told you that I made plans with my friends and you didn’t ask more, so I assumed that you didn’t care,”

“Look Sammy, I don’t want to fight okay? I’m tired of this, I want things to be the way they used to,” he admitted.

“Then talk to me Dean, why are you acting so weird lately?”

“ It’s a long story, do you have time?”

“Well I’m driving so you’re in speaker, if you don’t mind Jess listening to your story, I’m cool with it too,”

“Hi Jess,” said Dean.

“Hi Dean,” answered Jess.

“Is there anyone else with you?” asked Dean.

“No, just the two of us,” said Sam.

“Okay, well here it goes…”

Dean told them (almost) everything, how Cas told him that he was moving out, how he decided to be the one to leave. His stupid fight with Cas, how he started to go to parties and drink more after that happened, his weird relationship with Lisa and how he broke up with her and then of course the story of his road trip (he of course left out the ‘I’m in love with my best friend part’). Sam and Jess listened carefully, he apologized again and by the end of Dean’s story the brothers were back in good terms.

“So, now I just want to talk to him again, you know, fix things with my best friend,” said Dean,

“Well Dean, I guess he’ll call you any minute now, they’re already back in Sioux Falls, he’ll probably call you tonight or in the morning,”

“I hope so… Sam, can I ask you a question?” said Dean,

“Yeah,”

“Does he hate me?” he sounded sad.

“No man, you’re still his best friend, he really wants to talk to you, and he misses you,” said Sam trying to comfort his brother.

“Well, in that case, I’m gonna hang up okay, what if he calls? But umm… I promise that I’ll call you, and e-mail you,” said Dean,

“Okay Dean, take care and good luck with Cas,” said Sam.

“Let me know when you’re back home,” said Dean.

“Okay,”

“Bye Dean,” said Jess.

“Bye Jess, thanks for listening,” said Dean; he hanged up and placed his phone next to him, he stared at it for a few minutes until he heard the back door opening,

“Hi son, did you fix things with your brother?” asked Bobby,

“Yeah, we’re cool,” said Dean with a smile.

“Great,” said Bobby sitting next to Dean.

“He’s back,” said Dean.

“Who?”

“Cas, they came back this afternoon,”

“Did he call?”

“Not yet, but is still kinda early, maybe he’ll call later,” said Dean with hope in his voice.

“Well, why don’t we go to the mini golf in the meantime?” asked Bobby.

“Okay, lets go,” said Dean with a smile.

They had a great time at the mini golf, Bobby kicked Dean’s ass of course and they stopped to grab a couple of beers on their way back to the house. Dean was trying to relax but he couldn’t stop thinking about Cas. He kept looking at his phone every five minutes waiting for a call or a text, but it was useless. He finally went to bed after midnight, _‘maybe he’ll call me tomorrow’_ , he thought.

* * *

 

Cas woke up after 10 am, _‘fuck I didn’t hear the alarm’_ he thought, he texted Gabe to apologize and to let him know that he would be late. He got ready as fast as he could and then grabbed Nik; he was waiting for the elevator when his phone rang, it was Gabe,

“Hello Gabriel,” he said,

“Hi Cas, where are you?” he asked,

“Leaving my apartment, I’m sorry I overslept,” he said,

“It’s okay, I can pick you up, I had to go to the bakery so I’m on my way home too; dad’s taking care of breakfast,” said Gabe,

“Wow, well okay, I’ll wait for you then,” said Cas.

Gabe parked outside Cas’s building five minutes later, Cas climbed into the Car and Nik happily sat on his lap.

“Morning Cas, did you sleep well?” said Gabe,

“Yes, I loved my vacation but it was pretty exhausting,” said Cas.

“You have to tell us everything, I brought a nice chocolate cake from the bakery, so you can tell us during dessert,” he said winking at his brother.

“Okay,” said Cas.

When they arrived at the house Chuck was placing a bowl with fruit on the table.

“Wow, dad you really managed to make breakfast without burning the house,” joked Gabriel, Chuck just rolled his eyes and then hugged Cas,

“Cas! Your hair is blue,” said Chuck raising his eyebrows,

“It’s actually turquoise dad,” said Gabe rolling his eyes.

“Clearly,” said Chuck with a smile, “umm… I love it,”

“Thanks dad, Sam and his friends helped me,” said Cas, he was relieved that his father didn’t have negative comments about his hair.

“Well it looks great,” said Chuck taking a sip from his coffee.

“I have to be honest with you boys, I tried to make an omelet but I burned it, so, I went to IHOP,” said Chuck placing a couple of plastic bags on the table. Gabe laughed until his stomach hurt, Cas just chuckled and said,

“It’s okay dad, at least you tried.”

They ate their breakfast happily, Chuck told them about his week and then Gabe talked about the bakery, after breakfast Gabe cut the cake and prepared more coffee and tea.

“So Castiel, enough about us… tell us, how was your vacation?” said Chuck.

“Well, it was very productive,” he said passing a hand through his hair, he took a sip from his cup of tea and then proceeded to tell them his story (of course he didn’t tell them the part of his big epiphany about his mom or the fact that he was taking antidepressants and he drank alcohol),  
  
“Well, I’m glad you had such a good time, it’s been a while since I last saw you this excited,” Cas smiled.

“Charlie was right, I needed this vacation to relax and see things from another perspective,” said Cas. They kept talking for a while, but eventually Chuck invited Cas to join him in his office to talk about their new project together.

“I would love to join you two in your geeky chat but I have more important things to do,” said Gabe sarcastically,

“You can join us if you want,” said Chuck.

“No way, I’ll be more useful if I go and buy what we’ll need to cook dinner,”

“What are we having?” Asked Cas.

“We, and by we I mean you and I, because apparently dad can’t even cook an omelet, are cooking ribs with this amazing recipe Taylor’s grandma gave me,” said Gabe getting up.

“Sounds great,” said Cas.

“So, anyway, have your little ‘business talk’, I’ll go get the ingredients,” said Gabe. He grabbed the keys of his car, “see ya,”

“Bye Gabe,” said Cas and Chuck at the same time.

“Where were we?” Asked Chuck,

“Business time,” said Cas,

“Right, follow me son.”

* * *

 

“Boy, stop staring at that damn phone… staring at it won’t make Cas call you any sooner,” said Bobby sitting next to Dean on the couch.

“It's just… he said he would let me know when he came back, he’s already here and he hasn’t said a thing Bobby, what if he just said it to get rid of me?” asked Dean.

“Jesus Dean, you really are acting like a teenager with a crush… why don’t you call him?” said Bobby.

“I don’t want him to think that I’m pushing him,” said Dean.

“Well, then stop staring at the freaking phone like it holds the wonders of the universe,”

Dean placed the phone on the table next to him and he grabbed the remote.

“Fine, wanna watch something in Netflix?” he asked,

“Sure, why not? Just not your weird Doctor Who shit,” said Bobby.

“You pick then,” said Dean handing him the remote.

“Okay,” Bobby surfed through the movies and series until he found something he liked, “Dexter okay?” he asked,

“Yeah,” said Dean, he stood up and grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge then he returned to watch TV with his uncle.

After three episodes Dean’s phone vibrated on the table, he picked it up quickly and it was indeed a text from Cas,

**Dean, sorry I forgot to text you earlier. I’m back in town, when do you want to meet?**

Dean answered right away,

**Can I C U 2day?**

 

**What about tomorrow? Today I’m spending the day at my Dad’s. I’m helping Gabe to cook dinner so it would be rude to leave. Tomorrow I’m free.**

Dean took a deep breath after reading the message; he would only have to wait another day, just another day to see Cas again.

 

**K, Ur place?**

 

**Great, you can come after your work. See you tomorrow.**

 

**C U tomorrow Cas**

 

Dean placed the phone back on the table,

“Cas?” asked Bobby,

“Yeah, we’re meeting tomorrow,” said Dean.

“Happy for you kid, now shut up, episode’s really good,” said Bobby. Dean smiled and paid attention to the TV again. He kept smiling like an idiot after his brief conversation with Cas.  
  
They didn’t realize how it happened but suddenly it was getting dark outside,

“Jesus Bobby, we spent the whole day watching Netflix,” he said,

“I’m starving,” said Bobby, “I’ll order a pizza,” he paused the TV, stood up and walked towards the kitchen. Dean stretched on the couch and grabbed his phone from the table; he re-read the texts from Cas and sighed.

“Pizza will be here in 20 minutes,” said Bobby walking back into the living room. They cleaned up the living room and then they set the table. Bobby received the pizza when it arrived 20 minutes later and they had a nice quiet dinner.

“You excited for seeing Cas?” asked Bobby,

“Yeah, can’t wait,” admitted Dean grabbing another slice of pizza,

“Why aren’t you meeting today?” asked Bobby,

“He’s at Chuck’s,” said Dean. Bobby nodded and kept eating his pizza.

After dinner Bobby went to his desk and called his friend Ruffus so Dean went to his room. He sat on his bed and sent a text to his brother to let him know that he would be seeing Cas next day.

He couldn’t wait for the next day, he really needed a distraction so he picked the book that he’d been reading the whole week and he started to read. After a while he noticed that he wasn’t even paying attention to the words in the book,

“Fuck it,” he said; he placed the book on the bed and grabbed his phone, without giving it a second thought he wrote,

**I miss U**

He sent it and then he threw the phone to the bed as if it suddenly was burning his hand. _‘Fuck, was it too much?’_ he asked himself. A few minutes later he got an answer,

**I miss you too Dean. I’m glad we’re talking again.**

He screeched like a little girl and got out the bed,

“I can’t wait another day,” he said. He walked towards his closet and grabbed a clean shirt, he quickly washed his face and brushed his teeth and then he ran downstairs.

“Where’s the fire?” asked Bobby when he saw him running to the door,

“Change of plans, meeting Cas today, see ya,” he said.

“Good luck boy,” yelled Bobby.

* * *

 

“Guys where are you?” asked Gabe walking in the house,

“Backyard,” yelled Cas and Chuck at the same time. Gabe left the bags he was carrying on the table and went outside to join his brother and father,

“Okay, I have all the ingredients, Cas wanna help me?” he said,

“Yes,” Cas stood up and followed Gabe to the kitchen.

It took them a while but they finally made the delicious sauce for the ribs.  
Cas was washing the blender when he received a text, he dried his hands and grabbed his phone,

**I miss U**

It was from Dean. Cas smiled like an idiot and sat down for a minute, he took a deep breath and typed back,

**I miss you too Dean. I’m glad we’re talking again.**

He put the phone back on his pocket and stood up to keep helping his brother with the cooking, they also prepared mashed potatoes and an apple pie; Cas kept whistling during the whole process.

* * *

 

Charlie placed the laundry basket on her bed and grabbed her phone from her pocket. She had spent the whole day cleaning her apartment and doing laundry. The last load was in the dryer now so she took a small break to finally talk to Cas. She sat on her bed and dialed Cas’s number,

“Hello Charlie,” said Cas.

“Hi Cas, I’ve been meaning to call you the whole day but I’ve been super busy being a responsible adult, how you doing?” she asked,

“Fine, I’m at my Dad’s right now, I’ve been here since morning,”

“That’s cool, what did he say about your hair?”

“He actually liked it,” Said Cas, he could hear Charlie giggling on the other side of the line,

“Told you he would love it,” she said.

“We talked about the graphic novels today, we’ll start working on them next month,” he said,

“Awesome, I can’t wait to see your work finished,” she said.

“You’ll be the first one to see it when it’s ready,” said Cas.

“That’s why I love you,” she said, “hey, talking about love, have you called Dean?” she asked,

“You’re so funny,” he said rolling his eyes even though he knew that Charlie couldn’t see him, “but actually yes, we’re meeting tomorrow after work,”

“And how are you feeling?”

“A little nervous, but excited mostly,” he admitted.

“That’s the spirit,” she said. Right in that moment Charlie’s stomach made a loud noise, “Jesus, did you hear that? I’m starving,”

“That was loud,” said Cas laughing,

“Hey, do you have the phone number of that Greek restaurant near Kraken, I’m craving a Gyro,” she said,

“They changed their number, I think I have the new one on my iPad… Dad can you hand me my iPad, it's inside my backpack… wait a minute Charlie,” Charlie waited for a few seconds, “okay, I sent you the new number in a message,”

“Thanks Cas, i…” She could suddenly hear Chuck’s voice on the other side of the line,

“Castiel, what is this?” asked Chuck out loud,

“Crap, Charlie, I’m going to have to call you back,” said Cas in a hurry,

“Cas, what’s wrong?” asked Charlie,

“My dad found my pills,” The call ended after that.

“Fuck,” said Charlie.

 

* * *

 

It was getting dark outside when they went back to the backyard to get the grill ready.

Cas was sitting next to his father watching as his brother marinated the ribs when his phone rang, it was Charlie. They talked for a while about Chuck's opinion on his new hair and about his meeting with Dean, they were talking about it when he heard a loud noise coming from Charlie’s side of the line, it sounded like her stomach,

“Jesus, did you hear that? I’m starving,”

“That was loud,” said Cas laughing,

“Hey, do you have the phone number of that Greek restaurant near Kraken, I’m craving a Gyro,” she said. Cas opened his contacts on his phone but then he remembered that they’ve changed the restaurant’s number,

“They changed their number, I think I have the new one on my iPad… Dad can you hand me my iPad, is inside my backpack… wait a minute Charlie,” Cas stretched his hand and waited for Chuck to hand him the iPad, once he did he opened his notes and found the new number, “okay, I sent you the new number in a message,”

“Thanks Cas, i…” Cas could see with his peripheral vision how his dad reached for something inside the backpack, he was too distracted with the phone call to notice what it was,

“Castiel, what is this?” asked Chuck out loud, Cas turned his head and saw that Chuck was holding his pills in one hand,

“Crap, Charlie, I’m going to have to call you back,” said Cas in a hurry, he was totally screwed, he wanted to tell Chuck about his antidepressants, but not like this.

“Cas, what’s wrong?” asked Charlie clearly worried,

“My dad found my pills,” Said Cas before hanging up.

 

 

* * *

Dean drove to Chuck’s house hating the traffic, why did everyone in town decided to go out in their cars at the same time as him? And why wasn’t Bobby’s house closer to Chuck’s?

* * *

 

Cas took a deep breath and looked at his father in the eye.

“Those are my antidepressants dad,” he said. Chuck read the label on the bottle and closed his eyes after that,

“How long have you been taking them Cas?” he asked,

“I… a month,” Gabe saw that something was going on and he approached his family,

“What’s happening?” he asked,

“Why didn’t you tell me? Does Gabe know?” Asked Chuck, he sounded really worried.

“No, I only told Charlie and Sam, I’m sorry dad,” said Cas feeling tears forming in his eyes.

“Does Gabe know what?” asked Gabe,

“I’m back on antidepressants,” said Cas almost in a whisper,

“Oh my god! Cassie,” Gabe placed his hand on Cas’s shoulder.

“Why didn’t you tell me Castiel? Don’t you trust me? Am I not a good father? I try Cas, I really do, it is really hard for me to let you go, to let you be an adult, I’m scared most of the time, I’m sorry if I’ve failed you,” said Chuck crying too.

Cas didn’t know what was going on, this was his fault, he had kept the truth from his dad, he had disappointed him again, once again Chuck Novak was crying because of him.

“No, dad please don’t cry, this isn’t your fault, I do trust you, you’re an excellent father, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to upset you,” said Cas,

“Son, I’m not upset, I’m worried, I’ve been so busy with my book tour that I didn’t realize that you were depressed again, what kind of father am I?” said Chuck. Cas became a sobbing mess right after he heard his father’s words; Gabe kept rubbing Cas’s back and he was obviously trying to hold back his tears.

“I’m sorry dad, I … I know this is hard, having me as a son I mean… I’m sorry, I really am, I’ve been a burden since I was a kid and then I made mom leave, and…”

“What?” asked Chuck,

“Dad, please don’t hate me… I… I am the reason why mom left,”

“Cas, no you… what do you mean? You were only a kid, your mother didn’t leave because of you,” said Chuck,

“Yes she did, she told me,” yelled Cas,

“When?” asked Chuck. Cas took a deep breath and scratched his left hand without noticing.

A few days ago, when he decided that he was going to stop living under the shadow of his mother; when he said that he would become the real Cas and that he would start to be honest with himself, he never imagined that he would find himself in this position. This was a crucial moment in his life, a ‘now or never’ situation, so without giving it a second thought he told his dad and his brother the truth,

“The day I told her that I like boys instead of girls,” said Cas. Gabe and Chuck looked at him with wide eyes but they didn’t say a thing, “Dad, I’m gay,” said Cas finally. Chuck hugged him immediately and Gabe followed right away,

“Please don’t hate me, please,” Cas kept repeating.

* * *

 

Dean parked outside the Novak’s and walked into the house, there was no one in the kitchen or in the living room, he was about to call Cas’s name when he heard voices coming from the backyard.

He walked out of the house and he was about to turn left to go to the pool area when he heard what seemed like someone crying, he stopped and took a peek from behind the wall, he could see that Chuck was crying and looking at Cas; Gabe was rubbing Cas’s back, _‘what the hell is going on?’_ he thought,

“The day I told her that I like boys instead of girls,” said Cas suddenly. “Dad, I’m gay,” Dean had to cover his mouth with his hand to stop himself from screaming.

Dean didn’t know what to do, he saw how Chuck and Gabe hugged Cas as soon as he said the words and he really wanted to join them too, but he knew it wouldn’t be right, especially when he heard Cas repeating,

“Please don’t hate me, please.”

* * *

 

After a couple of minutes Cas managed to calm down enough to keep talking,

“Cas, I don’t hate you, we don’t hate you,” said Chuck,

“I’m so sorry dad, Gabe, sorry I didn’t tell you before,” said Cas.

“Hey little brother, it’s okay, really, I don’t care if you like boys, you’re my brother and I love you,” said Gabe.

“Castiel, I want you to know that your mother didn’t leave because of that, we didn’t love each other anymore, and…”

“She did, she said that it was a sign, that God was testing her, that she wasn’t ready,” Cas began to cry again,

“Cas, you need to calm down, you’re scratching your hand again,” said Chuck, “why don’t you take a deep breath and tell me what happened that day? I promise that I won’t get upset, okay?” he said. Cas nodded and Gabe sat on the floor facing his father and his brother, he held Cas’s hand the whole time.

“Okay,” said Cas.

* * *

 

_Cas knocked on the door and waited for a few seconds until he heard his mother’s voice,_

_“Come in,” said Naomi._

_When Cas opened the door he saw his mother braiding her long hair,_

_“Good afternoon Castiel, how was school?” She asked looking at the reflection of his son on the mirror,_

_“Hello mother,” he said sitting on the huge bed, “it was fine I guess, we had a grammar test and we started reading a new book, we also played soccer in gym class,” said Cas._

_“That’s nice son,” she said. Cas sat in silence for a couple of minutes and then he talked again,_

_“Mother… May I ask you a question?” he asked,_

_“Yes,” she said. He stood up and walked towards his mother,_

_“I want to ask you about love,” he said,_

_“About love Castiel? What do you want to know about love, you’re only a kid,” she said smiling._

_“I know that, but I think I’m in love… I want to know, how does it feel to be in love?” he asked,_

_“Well Cas, is hard to explain, but let me guess, you feel like you only want to be with that other person?” she asked, Cas nodded, “and, every time you see her you feel happy for no reason, you feel butterflies in your stomach when she’s near you? And you don’t want anyone else in your class to see her in that way?”_

_“Yes,” said Cas blushing._

_“Well, then I think you’re in love,” said Naomi, “who is she? Is she in your Class?” she asked,_

_“Umm, actually… mom, is it okay if I’m in love with a boy?” he asked,_

_“What? No Cas, you’re confused, you like this boy as a friend, you’re not in love with him,” she said clearly upset._

_“No,” said Cas shaking his head, “I’m in love with him, I feel just like you said and I want to hold his hand all the time and I want to kiss him, I want to marry him,” said Cas smiling._

_The next thing he saw was the palm of his mother hitting him right on the face; he wasn’t expecting that reaction from his mother and the impact made him fall to the floor._

_“Shut up!” She screamed, Cas looked at her without knowing what to do._

_“I can’t do this, I can’t… I know God doesn’t give you things that you can’t handle but this is ridiculous, I didn’t sign up for this, I wanted to be a wife, not a mother, and I definitely didn’t want to be the mother of a child that’s broken,” she said._

_“Mom, I’m sorry,” said Cas crying._

_“This is the sign I was asking for, God is testing me,” she said almost in a whisper._

_“Mom,_ ”

_“Castiel, I’m not a good mother and I’ve never given you any good advice, so listen to me and listen clearly, I need you to understand this,” she said, he sat up on the floor and nodded,_

_“I’m sorry but I’m your mother and I have to tell you this, you can’t like boys, you can’t like girls, you hear me? You’re a burden, imagine you get married and end up having kids that are like you. Do you want your kids to feel the way you feel all the time? To have meltdowns and panic attacks?” Cas looked at her in shock and he shook his head unable to speak, “you’re broken and nobody deserves to spend the rest of their lives with someone that’s broken, do you understand?” she asked. Cas nodded. “Explain it to me, then, what did I just tell you?” she said,_

_“I can’t like boys and I can’t like girls, nobody wants a broken person, it isn’t fair for the other person,” said Cas sounding like a robot._

_“Giving you that advice is the only good thing I can do for this world,” she said, “now go to your room, I need to speak to your father,” she said._

_Cas stood up and walked as fast as he could out of the room, when he closed the door behind him he could hear his mother saying “Why God? Why did you give me this burden?”_

* * *

 

By the end of Cas’s story everyone, including Gabe (and Dean hiding behind the wall) was crying.

“I can’t hate your mother because she gave me the best thing in the world, my 3 kids,” he said hugging his sons, “but I’m sorry I didn’t ask her to leave sooner,”

“You asked her to leave?” asked Gabe,

“Like I told Cas, she didn’t leave because of that incident… I’m going to assume that happened the day before she left, I recall you had a big bruise in your face but you said that it was because of a meltdown,” said Chuck, Cas nodded,

“Well son, the thing is, your mother talked to me like she told you, she didn’t say why but she wanted to send you guys to a school outside the country, we didn’t have the money and I didn’t want you to go, to be honest, Mike was already about to leave to college, I wanted you guys with me… anyway, she said that she was tired of living like that, she said that she never wanted to be a mother in the first place, and that she definitely didn’t want to be married to a failure… it was a hard conversation, but at the end, she said that she needed to find answers, she felt like God owed her an explanation about her life, she needed to find God, and she wasn’t happy with us anymore, so i told her that if she wasn't happy with us she should leave...and next morning, she did,” said Chuck trying to sound calmed.

“She never told you about our conversation then?” asked Cas,

“No, I’m sorry that you had to grow up thinking that she left because of you, but the truth is that she just wasn’t happy anymore, she didn’t want to have a family, and she was upset with everyone, with herself, with God, with life,” said Chuck.

“I’ve spent my whole life… I… she, she told me to and I’ve never… and now it’s probably too late and I…” he began to hyperventilate after that. Chuck grabbed Cas hand and placed it on his chest,

“Cas, focus on my breathing please son, try to even my breathing,” he said. Cas could feel a big pressure on his chest, he couldn’t breath, he was thirsty and sweating, and his father’s voice sounded so distant; he was falling asleep, he was shutting down, reality was to much right now; he had spent his whole life thinking that it was all his fault, blaming himself for what happened with his mother and avoiding relationships because he was a burden, because she said he was broken.

He could suddenly feel someone hugging him really hard and a lot of blankets, it felt nice, the pressure, it made him focus, he opened his eyes and saw a pair of beautiful green eyes staring right back at him,

“Dean?” he said.

* * *

 

It was all too much, how did Cas managed to live like that for all those years? Dean was fighting the urge to run and hug Cas after he told his story, but then when Chuck told him what really happened and Cas started to hyperventilate, Dean lost it.

He ran inside the house looking for the laundry room, when he reached it he grabbed a bunch of blankets and ran back to Cas; by that moment Chuck was trying to help him with his breathing, but apparently it wasn’t working. He ran towards his friend and placed his hand on Chuck’s shoulder; Chuck nodded and stood up, leaving more space for Dean. Dean lifted Cas’s back and sat behind him. Gabe placed the blankets over Cas and then Dean proceeded to hug him.

It took Cas a few minutes but eventually he reacted to Dean’s action. Cas opened his eyes and looked Dean in the eye,

“Dean?” he said with a smile.

“Hi Cas,” he said.

“What are you doing here?” Cas asked,

“I felt like cuddling,” joked Dean.

“You’re lucky, I could use some hardcore cuddling right now,” answered Cas.

Dean hugged him even tighter and Cas began to cry again, he wasn’t even sure why he was crying anymore, a sea of emotions was flooding his mind.

They stayed like that for almost an hour, until Cas stopped crying and he was able to sit up and have a glass of water.

“I want my room,” he said eventually.

Chuck took a deep breath and passed a hand through his hair.

“Gabe, would you help Dean to take Cas upstairs?” he asked,

“No, I want my room,” said Cas again. This was a common thing; Gabe already knew that his brother was talking about his room at the apartment.

“Cas, I can’t let you go like this, spend the night here and I’ll drive you home in the morning,” said Chuck with a worried expression. Cas took a deep breath and stood up throwing all the blankets on Dean.

“What are you doing?” asked Gabe.

“I’m walking… I …I want my room, I’m an… an adult and you can’t make me stay,” he said clearly struggling to get the words out of his mouth.

“Cas don’t do this,” said Chuck,

“I’ll drive you,” said Dean.

“What?” asked Gabe,

“You want to go home? I’ll drive you, I’ll make sure you’re fine, drink a nice cup of tea and go to bed, is that okay?” asked Dean.

“Dean, you don’t have to,” said Chuck.

“I thought you weren’t friends anymore,” said Gabe. 

“Are you kidding me? Cas is my best friend in the fucking world, and if he wants to go home I’m driving him, okay?” said Dean.

“Thank you Dean,” said Cas finally.

“C’mon,” said Dean grabbing Cas’s backpack.

“I’ll call you tomorrow dad, please, I’m fine I promise, I just want my room,” he was starting to sound like a child.

“Okay son,” said Chuck in defeat. Dean picked Nik from the ground and followed Cas to the car.

* * *

 

The drive to the apartment was nice, Cas kept looking at the window clearly absorbed in his thoughts so Dean remained silent and he didn’t turn on the music.

Once they were in the apartment Cas went straight to his room while Dean made sure that Nik had food and water.

When Dean walked into Cas’s room, his friend was already wearing his pajamas and sitting on the bed.

“Water for your tea is almost ready,” said Dean. He was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable, it was the first time that he visited the apartment in 2 months and it felt weird.

“Thank you,” said Cas with a shy smile,

“No problem, tea always helps you after a meltdown,” said Dean leaning on the doorframe,

“Not only for that, for helping me today, I love my dad but he always freaks out when I have a meltdown,” said Cas.

“Hey, you’re my best friend, you don’t have to thank me for that,” said Dean. He slowly walked towards the bed and sat next to Cas.

Cas laughed.

“What?” asked Dean smiling,

“We were supposed to have a normal talk, and argue and then apologize and then hug and become friends again,” said Cas.

“Well, we can skip all the drama and go straight to the hugging part,” said Dean.

“We really should talk Dean… but we can cuddle at the same time,” said Cas with a smile.

“Sounds great, let me get your tea, and can I borrow some sweatpants? I’m not sleeping wearing these,” said Dean pointing at his jeans,

“Are you staying?” asked Cas trying to hide a smile.

“Of course man, I told you I’ll make sure that you’re fine… I mean, if you don’t want me to that’s okay too.”

Cas thought about it for a couple of seconds, he knew it probably wasn’t a good idea but he choose to be selfish and ask Dean to stay,

“No, I want you to stay,” he said shyly. Dean nodded and walked out of the room to get Cas’s tea.

After Cas drank his tea and Dean borrowed a pair of sweatpants, they climbed into bed and got comfortable. It was like nothing had happened between them all those weeks ago. Both of them knew that they still needed to talk, but for the moment they were fine pretending that everything was okay and holding each other while sleeping.

* * *

 

_“Umm, actually… mom, is it okay if I’m in love with a boy?” he asked,_

_“What? No Cas, you’re confused, you like this boy as a friend, you’re not in love with him,” said Naomi; Cas looked at her squinting his eyes._

_“No,” said Cas shaking his head, “I’m in love with him, I feel just like you said and I want to hold his hand all the time and I want to kiss him, I want to marry him,” said Cas smiling._

_The next thing he saw was the palm of his mother hitting him right in the face; he wasn’t expecting that reaction from his mother and the impact made him fall to the floor._

_“Shut up!” She screamed, Cas looked at her without knowing what to do._

* * *

 

“Cas, Cas…wake up buddy you’re having a nightmare,” said Dean shaking him softly. Cas opened his eyes and sat up really fast, “Cas, you’re okay man, you’re in your room, I’m here,” said Dean.

Cas was sweating, so he threw away all the blankets.

“It’s too hot in here,” he said.

“Wanna catch some fresh air?” Asked Dean. Cas nodded and got out of bed, it was still dark outside; he looked at his clock and saw that it was 3:12 in the morning. They got out of bed and climbed to the fire escape. Once they were on the rooftop they sat down on the floor.

“Wanna talk about it?” asked Dean after a while.

“Not really, apparently lately my mother has become a regular visitor in my nightmares,” said Cas with a sigh. Dean nodded and grabbed his phone from his pocket, he saw that he had 3 missed calls from Bobby and 5 unread texts,

“Fuck,” he said,

“What?” asked Cas.

“Missed calls and texts,” said Dean,

“From Lisa?” asked Cas,

“What? No, from Bobby, I forgot to tell him that I would stay here,” said Dean. He opened the texts,

 **8:15**  
**What happened with Cas? You friends again?**

 **9:47**  
**??**

 **10:15**  
**Dean are you still at Chuck’s? Answer your damn phone. How did everything go?**

 **11:05**  
**You better not be getting your ass drunk at some random bar boy.**

 **11:27**  
**Nevermind, I called Chuck he told me everything. Take care of Cas. Thanks for letting me know you idiot.**

Dean laughed,

“Oh, it’s cool, your dad told him that I was here,” said Dean with a smile, “I broke up with Lisa by the way,”

“What? Why?” asked Cas, he tried really hard to hide the joy in his voice.

“We didn’t have a lot in common to be honest, and umm… she said she loved me and I couldn’t say it back, so yeah…”

“You didn’t love her?” asked Cas,

“No, I tried, I really did but it just didn’t happen,” he said. Cas was surprised to notice that Dean didn’t seem sad about his break up with Lisa, in fact he seemed relieved. Cas waited for Dean to keep talking about the subject but he didn’t say anything else, instead he asked a question that Cas wasn’t ready to answer yet,

“Cas, do you want to talk about what happened today?” asked Dean.

“How much did you hear?”

“Umm… the part were you came out and what happened with your mom,” said Dean.

“Oh,”

“Hey, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk, really,” said Dean.

“There’s not much left to say,” said Cas. Dean nodded. He didn’t want to put pressure on his friend.

“We have a lot to talk about,” said Dean.

“Where do you want to start?” asked Cas. Dean took a deep breath and looked Cas in the eye.

“First, I want to apologize for being an asshole,” he said.

“Okay, apology accepted, I want to apologize too, for taking decisions for you without asking first,” said Cas.

“Apology accepted,” said Dean with a smile, “now, I want to talk about something really important,” he said with a serious expression.

“What is it?” asked Cas.

“Your hair is blue…” said Dean.

“Yes,” said Cas.

“How did that happen?” asked Dean.

“Well, with peroxide and hair dye basically,” said Cas.

“Smartass,” said Dean rolling his eyes.

“Sam and his friends helped me,” said Cas.

“Wow… I umm... I like it, makes your eyes look bigger,” said Dean trying not to blush,

“Thank you,” answered Cas.

After a minute of awkward silence Dean sighed and passed a hand through his hair,

“Look Cas, I had a speech planed for this moment, I actually thought that I would chicken out and that’s one of the reasons why I decided to visit you at Chuck’s, I was feeling brave in that moment,”

“Okay,” said Cas.

“But the thing is that something happened today and now the last part of my speech won’t work anymore, I guess I’ll have to improvise because if I don’t take this out of my chest I’m going to explode, I just want you to listen and I really hope that this works because if it doesn’t I’m going to feel like an idiot,” said Dean. Cas nodded and crossed his legs to feel more comfortable,

“Okay, I’m listening,” said Castiel.

“I’m not gonna lie Cas, the day you told me that you wanted to live on your own I felt like shit, it was awful, and in that moment I couldn’t understand, I was so scared, I though that I was losing my best friend, and I was so afraid of you pushing me away of your life that I ended up pushing you; I was a coward, I know… it took me a while to realize that you weren’t trying to get rid of me, you were just trying to be an adult and I acted like a child… I turned into an asshole, I kept drinking and going to parties and trying to distract myself going out with Lisa all the time, but it was useless because I kept feeling a whole in my chest, I missed my best friend,” Cas gave him a shy smile,

“I missed you too Dean,” he said.

“Don’t interrupt me,” said Dean trying not to laugh,

“Sorry, carry on,” said Cas,

“Anyway, I went out with Lisa one day and she said the three words I was most afraid to listen from her, the big ‘I love you,’ and I couldn’t say it back, I wasn’t ready and I told her, I was honest with her and I told her that I had tried for a long time but the truth was that I couldn’t love her, that no matter how hard I tried, she wasn’t the one… she flipped, oh man, she slapped me and everything, but I guess I had it coming, anyway, I decided that I needed some time with myself, I was being an asshole with everyone and there was a lot going on in my mind, so I packed my stuff and went on a road trip to Ruffus’s cabin,” Cas raised his Eyebrows, the story was definitely taking an interesting turn,

“You know it’s funny, sometimes you need to go away looking for answers to realize that the answer was always where you started… I stopped at a few towns, I went to that Dinosaur park we visited when we were kids, do you remember?” he asked,

“Yes, I bought you a chocolate bar because they didn’t have chocolate popsicles,” said Cas with a smile.

“Yeah, this time they did have chocolate popsicles, I bought one,” said Dean with a smile, Cas laughed.

“After that I went to another town, I visited the ‘center of the nation,’ and then I ate buffalo burgers and I met a guy called Pete and he took me to the real ‘center of the nation’ which is kinda lame and on the middle of nowhere… and then we kissed, and it was awful because I didn’t feel the sparkle, and he was a nice guy but, he wasn’t the one, and then I finally arrived to the cabin and it rained a lot for a couple of days, then when it stopped raining I went for a walk in the forest and I met this 14 year old girl, she was called Peyton and her pet was a wolf, and we talked about books, she lend me ‘the fault in our stars’ … I cried like a baby when I read it… and then we talked about love, and about how fragile life can be, about infinities and life choices… on the last day of my trip I found an old copy of ‘the little prince’ and I did that thing you used to do when we were kids, you know? Looking for answers on a random page of the book… I read a phrase that talked about simple pleasures and happiness or something like that,”

“What matters most are the simple pleasures so abundant that we can all enjoy them...Happiness doesn't lie in the objects we gather around us. To find it, all we need to do is open our eyes.” Said Cas closing his eyes. Dean smiled and nodded,

“Yeah, that one… then I read another one, the one that talks about forgetting friends…”

 **“** To forget a friend is sad. Not every one has had a friend. And if I forget him, I may become like the grown−ups who are no longer interested in anything but figures…” said Cas.

“Yeah… Jesus, did you eat that freaking book or something?” said Dean laughing nervously, he was reaching the end of his story, which meant that he was about to tell Cas the truth,

“Anyway, in that moment I knew that I had to come back, I umm… kept thinking about this time, when we were kids and you were trying to understand the concept of finding that special person in your life, you know? ‘ **The one** ’… you said that when you find that person everything in your life changes, and everything you do with that person is special, like it doesn’t even have to be physical… you said that even sharing a glass of water was special because you were doing it with that special someone,” Dean realized that he was sweating,

“I remember,” said Cas.

 

“Jesus, this is getting hard,” said Dean with a nervous laugh,

 

“Why?” asked Cas.

 

“Because what I’m about to say might change our friendship forever and I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” said Dean.

 

“Dean, I’ll never stop being your friend,” said Cas.

 

“Okay, here it goes… the thing is Cas, that this trip really helped me to clear my mind, it made me realize that I had found ‘the one’ a long time ago… the problem was, that I had fucked up, I had pushed that person away and even if I could fix things with that person, it didn’t matter because, that person had told me a thousand times that he couldn’t feel attracted to any gender,”

 

Dean couldn’t look Cas in the eye in that moment so he opted for staring at his hands instead. Cas looked at Dean with shock, was Dean saying what he thought he was saying?

 

“And you know, I realized that I didn’t care, that all I wanted to do was spend the rest of my life with that person, even if he couldn’t love me back in that way, I didn’t care, it didn’t have to be a physical relationship, all I wanted was to be with him, because he’s the one and I can’t see my life without him… and I said to myself ‘ I have to get him back, I need him’… I came up with this stupid idea, or bright idea, I don’t know anymore… I just thought ‘I’m going to tell him about my feelings and I’ll tell him that I want to be with him forever and that I don’t care if all he can give me is a friendship’, because for me that is enough, because he’s the one and that makes it special…” Dean was trying really hard not to cry at this point.

 

“Dean,” said Cas.

 

“And today, when I finally saw him again, after two months, I found out that a lot of fucked up situations in his life made him hide his real feelings, that he’s actually gay and now I realize that maybe he doesn’t feel the same way that I do, because he likes boys and I like boys but all he has always given me is his friendship, he doesn’t see me the way I see him probably… and I mean, I’m okay with that… and… crap, this is all fucked up man, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, I’m sorry Cas… I…”

 

“Dean, look at me,” said Cas. Dean lifted his face and saw that his friend was crying.

 

“Cas, don’t cry please, I didn’t meant to…”

 

“I love you,” said Cas smiling.

 

“What?” asked Dean; he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

 

“I love you Dean Winchester.” Dean stared at Cas with his mouth opened. Cas smiled and got closer to him; he held Dean’s hand, “I believe this is the part where you kiss me,” said Cas blushing.

 

Dean shook his head and smiled at Cas, he stretched his arm and cupped Cas’s cheek in his hand, he got closer slowly, never breaking eye contact with Cas,

 

“I love you Cas,” he said before pressing his lips against Cas’s.

 

Cas had only kissed another guy in his life, and when it happened he felt nothing; he had seen a lot of movies in which couples saw fireworks when they kissed for the first time; he had always thought that it was ridiculous, but now he was ready to eat his words because right in that moment, kissing Dean Winchester he could see fireworks, he could hear music, he was floating and everything was perfect.

They kissed for a long time as if they were trying to make up for the lost time. It was tender and passionate at the same time… it was perfect. They stopped when they ran out of breath, Cas opened his eyes and saw that Dean still had his eyes closed and that he was smiling.

“Wow,” said Cas. Dean opened his eyes and smiled.

 

“You were right,” said Dean,

 

“About what?” asked Cas.

 

“Everything is better when you do it whit that special person,” said Dean.

 

“You’re a dork,” said Cas smiling.

 

“Yeah, but I’m your dork,” answered Dean with a smile. Cas laughed and pulled Dean from the collar of his shirt,

 

“I love you Dean Winchester,” he said,

 

“I love you Castiel Novak,” answered Dean before kissing Cas one more time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I really hope that you liked it :D 
> 
> And surprise surprise... the next Chapter has already been written (yep, i'm a productive member of society).
> 
> Here's a little preview because i love you so much y'all:
> 
>  
> 
> The annoying sound of his alarm clock woke Cas up; he turned around turned off the damn think, then he opened his eyes and realized that it was only 6:15 in the morning,
> 
> “Why the fuck is this thing waking me up an hour earlier than usual?” he asked with husky voice. Dean chuckled and pulled Cas closer to him,
> 
> “My bad,” said Dean,
> 
> “I thought you loved me,” said Cas burying his face on Dean’s chest. Dean laughed and kissed the top of Cas’s head.
> 
> “I love you, but I have to go back to Bobby’s, need to get ready for work… you can go back to sleep if you want smurf,” Dean sat up and stretched.
> 
> “Smurfs don’t have blue hair Dean,” said Cas rolling his eyes.
> 
> “Damn it… well I’ll come up with something eventually,” he said winking.
> 
> “We still have a lot to talk about,” said Cas rubbing his eyes.
> 
> “Like what?” asked Dean. He stood up and grabbed his clothes from Cas’s desk.
> 
> “What’s next with this…” said Cas pointing at Dean and then at himself, “us,”
> 
> “Oh, that? Can’t we just make out a lot and watch TV while cuddling?” asked Dean.


	24. Broccoli

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benny gives Cas the task of choosing the new members of Kraken.
> 
> Dean and Cas talk about their situation and they finally put a label on their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back with a new chapter! :D Get ready for a lot of fluff and a little bit of drama. Again, thanks for reading and for your lovely comments and kudos! 
> 
> Remember English isn't my first language, so i apologize for any mistake.
> 
> Note: 
> 
> A couple of months ago i read this post on tumblr of a girl saying that a random guy offered her broccoli because he didn't have a bouquet of flowers and he wanted to ask her out. I might have used that for this chapter... enjoy!

* * *

 

The annoying sound of his alarm clock woke Cas up; he turned around to turn off the damn thing, then he opened his eyes and realized that it was only 6:15 in the morning,

“Why the fuck is this thing waking me up an hour earlier than usual?” he asked with husky voice. Dean chuckled and pulled Cas closer to him,

“My bad,” said Dean,

“I thought you loved me,” said Cas burying his face on Dean’s chest. Dean laughed and kissed the top of Cas’s head.

“I love you, but I have to go back to Bobby’s, need to get ready for work… you can go back to sleep if you want smurf,” Dean sat up and stretched.

“Smurfs don’t have blue hair Dean,” said Cas rolling his eyes.

“Damn it… well I’ll come up with something eventually,” he said winking.

“We still have a lot to talk about,” said Cas rubbing his eyes.

“Like what?” asked Dean. He stood up and grabbed his clothes from Cas’s desk.

“What’s next with this…” said Cas pointing at Dean and then at himself, “us,”

“Oh, that? Can’t we just make out a lot and watch TV while cuddling?” asked Dean. He grabbed his jeans and turned around, was it okay if he changed clothes in front of Cas? _‘Fuck it’_ he thought and took off the sweatpants he was wearing.

Cas blushed a little when he noticed that Dean was undressing in front of him but he didn’t say anything.

“I think our communication problems lead us to a lot of suffering Dean, if we’re going to do this, we have to be 100% honest with each other.” Dean put on his jeans and then buttoned his shirt.

“When you say ‘this’ what do you mean?” asked Dean smirking; he climbed back on bed next to Cas.

“That’s exactly my point what are we doing? Are we friends that kiss a lot? Are we dating? Are we…?” Dean interrupted him planting a chaste kiss on his lips.

“You’re right, we really have a lot to talk about,” said Dean.

“Yes, and you have to go back to Bobby’s or you’ll be late for work,” said Cas.

“I have a date tonight but we can talk tomorrow,” said Dean.

“Really? With whom?” asked Cas squinting his eyes.

“Oh, no big deal, just this hot guy… I’m supposed to meet him at his apartment after work, I would cancel but I haven’t seen him in two months and I think he’s the love of my life…” said Dean smiling. Cas just pushed him playfully.

“So I don’t stand a chance then?” asked Cas.

“No, sorry, like I said, this guy is the love of my life,” said Dean. Cas couldn’t help it and he burst into laughter.

“What?” asked Dean.

“Nothing, it just… is weird seeing you like this,” said Cas.

“You’ll get used to it,” said Dean winking, he turned his attention to the clock and saw that it was already 6:37, “crap, I really need to go, but I’ll see you tonight right?" He asked,

“Yes Dean, see you after work,” said Cas. Dean planted another kiss on his lips and then got out of bed.

“Dean,” said Cas when Dean was approaching the door,

“Yes?”

“Please don’t tell anyone about this yet, okay?” said Cas.

“Umm… okay,” answered Dean a little confused, “why?” asked Dean.

“Because like I said, we need to talk first and figure out what is happening here, there are a lot of things going on and I would like to assimilate it all first, I mean, if you don’t mind,” said Cas blushing.

“Okay… see you later Cas, have a nice day…” said Dean. He turned around and ran out of the apartment before Cas could say another thing.

Cas plopped himself on his bed and covered his face with a pillow,

“I think I upset him,” he said.

* * *

 

Dean drove back home feeling like he was in a dream. Cas loved him back, Castiel Novak was in love with him and they kissed and cuddled all night… it was awesome.

He was still spotting a huge grin when he walked into Bobby’s house. He tried to be quiet, he closed the door slowly and took off his shoes, but when he turned around he saw Bobby standing outside the kitchen with a cup of coffee in his hand.

“Oh, hi Bobby,”

“Morning son, thanks for letting me know that you were fine last night,” said Bobby.

“I’m sorry… I forgot, Cas had a meltdown and I drove him to his apartment,”

“Yeah, I know, Chuck told me, remember?”

“Anyway, since when do you worry so bad about me? Is not the first time that I stay out the whole night,” said Dean.

“I always worry about you, you’re my kid you idjit. But last night when you left the house, your face… I don’t know son, I could’ve sworn that you were ready to tell Cas the truth,” said Bobby. Dean’s jaw dropped.

“I umm… are you crazy Bobby? I’m not that brave,” said Dean rolling his eyes. Bobby just laughed.

“So, what happened?” asked Bobby.

“Not much, drove him home, made him tea and cuddled, we talked a little and then apologized, we’re having dinner tonight,” said Dean with a smile.

“I’m glad you idjits are fixing things, I hate to see my kids fighting,” said Bobby after taking a sip form his coffee.

“Thanks Bobby, now umm… I should probably go and take a shower, I don’t want to be late for work,” said Dean.

“Okay, I’ll start breakfast,” said Bobby with a smile.

* * *

 

The alarm sounded again at 7:15. He turned it off and got out of bed feeling a little weak and tired, _‘nothing like starting my week with post-meltdown symptoms’_ he thought.

After taking Nik for a walk, taking a shower and eating a light breakfast he went to work.

The walk to work was nice, he was a little tired and he hadn’t slept as much as he needed the previous night, _‘because I was making out with Dean Winchester’_ he thought. It had been a weird night, he was freed from a big emotional weight, but he was pretty sure that he still had a rough path ahead.

When he arrived to the office Ash and Kevin were already there. Kevin was making coffee and Ash was sleeping on a couch in the lounge area, he was also spotting a nice tan.

“Good morning,” said Cas.

“Hi Cas… wow, nice hair,” Said Kevin with a smile.

“I think I’m still hungover,” said Ash, he was covering his face with a cushion,

“When did you come back?” asked Cas.

“Yesterday morning… best vacation ever Cas,” said Ash whispering. Cas laughed and went straight to his desk. Once he was comfortably sitting on his Chair, he grabbed his phone and sent a text to Dean,

**< 3**

He waited a couple of minutes until he got an answer back,

**Can’t wait for 2night. <3**

“So I spent the whole night worrying about you and here you are looking super happy, what the hell happened?” said Charlie sitting next to Cas.

“Jesus Charlie, I’m sorry I forgot to call you back,” he said.

“Yeah, I noticed,” she said rolling her eyes, she looked around to check if someone was listening and then she got closer to Cas and whispered “what happened?”

“Everything is fine, my dad isn’t upset and a lot of things happened… can we talk about this during lunch?” said Cas.

“Okay.” Said Charlie.

In that moment Benny walked into the studio,

“Morning Guys,” he said. Everybody said hi, except for Ash who had fallen asleep, “Cas, can I talk to you?” he asked. Cas nodded and followed Benny to his office.

“Nice hair by the way,” said Benny with a smile.

“Thanks,” answered Cas blushing.

“Sit down brother, we have a few things to talk about,” Said Benny with a big smile.

Cas sat down in front of Benny’s desk and Benny placed a bunch of papers in front of him.

“What is this?” asked Cas,

“ Every CV that we’ve received for the openings at our design team,” said Benny.

  
“Wow, that’s a lot,” said Cas staring at the papers in front of him,

“Yeah, well I’ve been reading through these the whole week and I mean, it’s only been a couple of weeks since we announced that we were looking for new designers, this is incredible,” said Benny placing his left hand over the pile of papers, “I’ve narrowed it down to ten profiles that I’ve found interesting,” he said picking the first ten sheets of paper, check them out and tell me what you think,” Cas took the papers and began to read, there were 5 women and 5 men.

“Okay, do you have a copy of their work?” asked Cas,

“Yeah, here” said Benny handing him his hard drive, “a folder called ‘candidates’… oh and Cas, please make sure to pick at least one girl, this place is beginning to look like the freaking Oscars, full of white boring men,” Benny winked and Cas laughed, he was right, they needed a more diverse team.

“You think I can start reading this right now? Or do you need me at the studio?” Asked Cas,

“Nah, you go ahead and read them brother, today we’re taking it slow, apparently we all need a vacation to rest from our vacation,” said Benny, Cas just smiled.

“Okay, I’ll be at the other office If you need me, I’ll let you know what I think,” said Cas while standing up.

“Okay brother, take your time,” said Benny.

* * *

After making a nice cup of English breakfast for himself and grabbing his laptop from his desk, Cas went downstairs and locked himself in the empty office. He was happy for having that assignment for the day, after his meltdown the previous night he could really use some quiet time.

* * *

Dean walked into his office and closed the door behind him. He opened the bottom drawer of his desk and took out all the pictures he had of him and Cas, he smiled and hanged them up again.

Once he was finished, he sat at his desk and turned on his computer; while he waited he couldn’t help but to think about Cas’s words, _‘Please don’t tell anyone about this yet, okay?’_

“What if he’s having second thoughts… maybe he’s not ready for this, crap,” he said. _‘He just needs time to adjust to this, changes are hard for him, relax Dean,’_ he thought.

As if on cue, his phone vibrated on his pocked, when he grabbed it he saw that it was a text from Cas,

**< 3**

Dean had to hold on to his chair to fight the urge to stand up and dance, after a couple of minutes he finally managed to calm down enough and he typed,

**Can’t wait for 2night. <3**

He spent the rest of the day smiling like an idiot. Nobody in the garage knew why, but they were thankful for the mood improvement.

* * *

 

Once he read all the resumes of the candidates and checked their work in Benny’s hard drive, he had selected two members, both were women; a 25 year old called Meg Masters, She was a graphic designer and an animator; and a 24 year old called Tamika Smith, she was an expert in motion graphics and digital illustration; he went back to Benny’s office and left the two curriculums on his desk, Benny was on the phone,

“I’ll read them after lunch, thanks Cas,” he said. Cas nodded and left the office. Charlie was walking downstairs in that precise moment.

“Oh, there you are, it’s officially lunchtime… wanna eat outside, you know, so we can talk?” she said.

“ Yes, of course,” said Cas, he followed her out of the office. They ended up getting sushi and then walked to a nearby park to have their lunch on a bench.

“Okay, talk,” she said.

“My Dad found my pills in my backpack,” said Cas.

“Yeah, that was the last thing you said to me last night…What did he say?” asked Charlie,

“I have to admit it was a roller coaster of emotions, he was sad because he thought that I didn’t trust him enough to tell him, and then he cried. I told him that he wasn’t a bad father and that I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want to disappoint him again, and I cried too,” said Cas.

“Crap, I’m so sorry Cas,”

“It’s okay,” said Cas, “it was liberating… I started to apologize for a lot of things and I don’t know how it happened but then I came out to my dad,”

“What?”

“I mean, I know how it happened, I was apologizing because I thought that I was the reason why my mom left, and then he asked my ‘why do you think that?’ and I had to tell him this story of how when I was 12 I told my mom that I liked boys and she freaked out, and she hit me and the day after that she left and…”

“Wait Cas, you’re talking too fast,” said Charlie,

“Sorry, I’m still a little shaken after yesterday,” he said, “but the point is umm… when I was 12, I told my mom that I liked boys instead of girls, and she said that I couldn’t love boys or girls, because I’m broken and that I’m a burden and I …” Cas could feel a lump forming in his throat,  
  
“Oh my God… so that’s why you always say that you can’t feel that way towards other people,” said Charlie with teary eyes, Cas nodded.

“I told that to my dad yesterday, and I’ve never told that story to anyone before, I felt better after that… keeping it hidden in my chest for all this years had been an incredible burden,”

Charlie placed her hand on top of Cas’s and gave him a shy smile.

“And what happened, what did he say?”

“He hugged me and said that he loves me, and then Gabe hugged me too and we cried a lot and then dad told us that mom didn’t leave because of me, she left because she wasn’t happy with her life anymore, she had a lot of issues and she was obsessed with trying to find God and answers for all of her ‘suffering’ and well, she left,” said Cas.

“Crap,”

“After that came a meltdown of course because I realized that I’ve spent my whole life in the closet because she told me to, and I wasted so much time feeling miserable and guilty… I don’t know, it was kind of ironic to be honest,” said Cas.

“How are you feeling today?” she asked.

“Better, I mean a little tired but I’m fine… I feel weightless,” he said with a smile.

“Well… what happened with your mom sucks, but hey, at least now you get to feel free and be honest with yourself, you can start living now Cas, who knows, maybe start dating and all that jazz,” she said.

“I guess,” he said trying to hide his smile.

“Talking about improving your life, are you seeing Dean today?” she asked.

“Yes, we’re having dinner at the apartment,” he said.

“Are you going to tell him about your feelings for him?” she asked. Cas felt bad for hiding the truth from Charlie,

“It is complicated,” he said, “we need to talk about a lot of things, we need to restore the trust between us, and be adults, apologize and make our friendship work first… I can’t just be like ‘oh hi Dean, I missed you and I’m gay, lets make out,’ that would be crazy,” he said _‘I’m going to hell’_ he thought. Charlie laughed.

“Well I’m proud of you for taking this in a mature way, and I really hope that you can be friends again,”

“Yes, me too,” said Cas with a smile.

* * *

 

They closed Kraken early that day, Benny was right, they all looked and felt like they needed another week off.

Charlie dropped Cas at the Wal-Mart close to his apartment. Cas bought everything he needed to cook dinner and then went home. When he arrived he put everything on the fridge and then he took a nap. When he woke up, he took Nik for a walk and then he returned to start dinner.

He was taking the pie out of the oven when someone knocked on the door.

“It’s open,” he yelled. He heard the sound of the door being opened and then closed.

“Wow, it smells amazing,” said Dean walking into the kitchen; Cas smiled and grabbed a beer from the fridge,

“Here,” he said handing the bottle to Dean. Dean grabbed the beer with one hand while he wrapped his other arm around Cas’s waist and pulled him into a quick kiss,

“Hi,” said Dean smiling,

“Hello Dean,” said Cas, “Dinner will be ready in 5 minutes,”

“Need help with anything?” asked Dean.

“No, everything is ready, just wash your hands and don’t touch the pie,” said Cas, Dean just rolled his eyes.

Five minutes later, Cas was placing the lasagna and a green salad on the table.

They ate in a comfortable silence, both uncertain of who should be the one to start talking, finally Cas took the initiative,

“So…”

“Yeah… so, time to be adults here and talk,” said Dean,

“Okay, should we set some rules?”

“Like what?”

“I think we should be 100% honest with each other, let the other speak…” Suggested Cas,

“Not raising our voices,” said Dean,

“And I think, the most important thing is umm… we can’t finish this conversation upset whit each other, okay?” said Cas,

“Like that ‘never go to bed angry’ thing?” asked Dean,

“Yes,” said Cas.

“Seems fair… do you want to talk first?” asked Dean.

“Yes… first, I want to apologize, I think I hurt your feelings this morning when I told you to keep this a secret,” said Cas.

“It’s okay Cas,” said Dean,

“Dean,” said Cas with a bitch face that resembled a lot of those of Sam.

“Okay, yeah, I felt sad okay, happy?” said Dean, “It’s just… I thought you were having second thoughts and I got scared,”

“I’m sorry, I think I didn’t phrase things right… Dean, is not that I don’t love you, but you need to understand that all these things are new for me, and everything is happening so fast, just yesterday I came out to my family and today I was making out with you, this is a lot… all the damage my mom left in me won’t go away in a day Dean… I’m starting to accept myself… and I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I do love you Dean, with all my heart… I’m just asking you to take things slow, and if you don’t want to, I’ll understand, I won’t get upset if you decide that this is too much, I’ll get it, really,” said Cas with a sad expression,

“Cas relax... okay?” said Dean placing his hand over Cas’,

“I’ve waited all this years for you, and you think that if you ask me to take things slow I’ll go away? I’m in love with you Castiel, the only thing I want is for both of us to be comfortable in this relationship okay? As long as we’re fine, I don’t care about anything else, I won’t tell anyone until you’re ready, I know this is hard and weird for you, but I’m here for you okay? I’m not going anywhere,” said Dean.

“Thanks Dean,” said Cas with a smile. They kept eating in silence for a few minutes, then it was Dean’s turn to talk,

“So what are we? I mean, I’m not trying to put pressure on you or anything and if you’re not ready to label this yet, I’m cool with it too,” said Dean.

“Well, I’m in love with you and I don’t want to date anyone else… I don’t want you to date anyone else either,” said Cas squinting his eyes,

“Good, I want that too,” said Dean, “so we’re dating?” he asked,

“Yes, I… what are you doing?” Dean stood up and walked towards the fridge, he opened it and grabbed a broccoli, then he returned to the table and stood next to Cas,

“Will you be my boyfriend Castiel Novak?” asked Dean with a serious expression. Cas grabbed the broccoli and held it close to his heart,

“Yes,” three seconds later they burst into laughter.

“I love you Cas,” said Dean still laughing.

“I love you too Dean, I don’t have a cauliflower to give you in return but I can offer pie, is that okay?”

“Did I mention that I love you?” asked Dean. Cas got up and brought the pie to the table.

After grabbing a slice each, Cas went back to his serious expression,

“Dean there’s something else I need to tell you,” said Cas.

“What is it,” asked Dean.

“I asked you which part of the conversation with my dad you heard and apparently you arrived just in time to listen to the last part,” said Cas after taking a deep breath.

“What? There was more?” asked Dean,

“Yes, and I want you to know that what I’m about to tell you isn’t your fault, it is no one’s fault really, it just happens sometimes, and I don’t want you to worry,”

“Cas, what’s going on?”

“Well umm… I’m back on therapy and antidepressants,” said Cas. Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. Cas knew how much he hated it when Cas took pills.

“How long have you been…?”

“A month,” said Cas almost in a whisper. Dean laughed nervously.

“And how isn’t it my fault, again?” he asked.

“Dean, don’t do this to yourself please, it isn’t your fault,”

“No, right… it’s just a coincidence, your best friend stops talking to you and moves out and then a month later you go back to antidepressants,” said Dean.

“Dean, listen to me… it didn’t happen because of you okay? I was carrying a lot in my mind, all those childhood memories were tormenting me, and I’m not going to lie, the changes in my life influenced to, but I decided to go back to therapy because of me, to feel better with myself,” Dean nodded,

“Okay,” said Dean.

“Are you angry?” asked Cas.

“No,”

“Disappointed?”

“Never,”

“Okay, do you want to cuddle while watching TV?”

“Always,” said Dean with a sad smile.

* * *

They went to the couch and watched a few episodes of Adventure time. Dean had his back against Cas’s chest, and Cas was holding him. Castiel could feel that Dean was upset and eventually he decided to talk,

“Dean, are you mad?” asked Cas,

“No,” said Dean. Cas sighed and kissed the back of Dean’s neck,

“Good,” he said, he placed another kiss behind Dean’s ear, “because, you know what?” he kissed him on the jawline. Dean was melting under Cas’s kisses; he couldn’t believe this was happening.

“What?” he asked turning around so he could face Cas,

“If it weren’t for my therapy I would still be unhappy and hiding in the closet, and we probably wouldn’t be doing this,” said Cas planting a kiss on Dean’s lips. Dean smiled and reciprocated the kiss right away, they remained like that for a while, making out and holding each other.

“Well played Novak,” said Dean when they finally broke the kiss.

“I’m a genius, remember?” asked Cas. Dean laughed and buried his face on Cas’s neck. Eventually they returned to their previous position and resumed watching TV.

It was almost eleven when Dean sat up and announced that he was leaving, he was secretly wishing for Cas to ask him to stay, but Cas didn’t, instead he offered to go with him downstairs because he wanted to take Nik outside.

They made out in the elevator of course, and then they held hands until they reached Dean’s car. They kissed once more before Dean finally climbed in the car; five minutes later, when Cas was waiting for Nik to do his business he received a message, 

**I love U. can’t wait 2 C U again.**

Cas smiled and answered right away,

**I love you too. Don’t text and drive Winchester. See you in my dreams.**

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah! The guys are officially dating! The next chapter we'll see the development of the first month of their relationship. I'm trying to give you fluff here guys because on chapter 26 there's a lot of angst, so yeah, enjoy it while you can. I don't think there's a lot left for this story, i'm thinking 30 chapters tops. I have a sequel planed though.
> 
> Anyway, the next chapter is already done by the way! I'll upload it later this week, and here's a little preview:
> 
>  
> 
> “We don’t have to tell her if you don’t want to,” said Dean while cuddling with Cas on Monday night. 
> 
> “I’m sorry Dean, I’m not ready,” he said.
> 
> “It’s okay Cas, no rush, really,” said Dean.
> 
> “She’ll find out,” said Cas.
> 
> “We’ll keep it cool, no cuddling, no kisses, no blood sacrifices on the table,” Cas snorted.
> 
> “That’s why I love you,” said Cas.
> 
> “Yeah, I know… I mean, I’m hot but the blood sacrifices are my strongest feature,” said Dean laughing. “No but seriously, why do you love me?” asked Dean.
> 
> “Well, you’re smart, caring and you’re always worried about everyone around you. You always reach your goals, you have a pure soul… and when you smile, Jesus…” said Cas with a sigh, “You always take care of me, ever since we were kids, you’ve always been there, you love me even though I’m not the most normal person in the world, you help me when I have meltdowns and you always make me tea… and you’re not that ugly, so yeah, you’re fine,” said Cas. Dean laughed and pressed a kiss on the back of Cas’s neck, “what about you? Why do you love me?” asked Cas.
> 
> “You make me a better person, you inspire me, the way you’re always trying, the world is a weird place to you, and still you go out every day and face it, sometimes it sucks and sometimes it’s great but it doesn’t matter because the next day you’re up trying again. You’re so wise, you’ve been giving me advices since we were 8… you’re always trying to help people. You have the biggest heart in the world… I could get lost in your eyes too… and that ass, Jesus, don’t make me talk about that ass,” said Dean.
> 
> “I’m sorry, but you know pretty well that this ass belongs to the lady next door,” joked Cas.
> 
> “Accidents can happen, she’s very old,” said Dean.
> 
> “Aww you would kill an old lady for me,” said Cas.
> 
> “That’s how much I love you,” said Dean with a smile.


	25. No one makes hot comforting beverages to my man except for me, and maybe Kevin sometimes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first month of Cas and Dean's relationship. Fluff and more fluff... oh! and Meg is finally here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back again... I first was planning on posting this chapter on Saturday but since i won't have any free time during the weekend to upload the chapter I decided to do it now. So here it is, enjoy the fluff because the next chapter is all about the angst my dears... 
> 
> Thanks for reading and for your kind words, you really are the best, you encourage me to keep writing :)  
> I hope you like this and i wish you all a perfect weekend! See you next week.

* * *

 

The next day, during lunch Cas told Charlie ‘everything’ about his meeting with Dean. Charlie was happy to hear that they had fixed things. Charlie had dinner at Cas’s that day; She had driven him to Wal-Mart to buy food because his kitchen was starting to resemble the one he used to have in college. In return for the favor, Cas had offered to cook dinner.

Cas cooked tacos and guacamole.

“Jesus Cas, this is amazing,” said Charlie putting guacamole on a tortilla.

“Thank you,” he said. Cas’s phone vibrated for the fifth time in less than half an hour and he ‘discretely’ read the text he got,

“Who are you texting?” asked Charlie.

“Umm…Dean,” said Cas.

“I figured, you seem happy,” she said with a smile.

“Yes, it’s good to have him back in my life,” said Cas.

“Is he moving back in?”

“No… at least not yet, first we want to make sure that everything is fine, that we’re not going to start fighting again,” said Cas.

“Sounds like a good plan…I’m so glad he broke up with the ice witch,” said Charlie.

“Yes, me too,”

“Cas, can I ask you something?” Cas got a little nervous; did Charlie know about him and Dean?

“The night you got drunk, umm... Sam told me that you said that Lisa had something to do with this whole ‘moving out’ mess… wanna tell me what happened?” she said. Cas sighed, now that Lisa wasn’t part of his life and that he was with Dean, he guessed it would be fine to tell the truth to Charlie.

“Okay… I have to admit that I wasn’t completely honest with you when that happened… Moving out wasn’t my idea… Lisa kind of made me do it,” he said.

“What?” asked Charlie.

“Please, don’t get upset and promise me that you won’t say a word of this to Dean okay? I’ll tell him when it is the right time,”

“Okay,” Cas nodded and proceeded to tell her the story.

When Cas finished telling Charlie what happened with Lisa, she was ready to go and throw Dean’s ex into a volcano.

“That freaking bitch!” said Charlie.

“You promised you wouldn’t get upset,” said Cas.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t expecting that story Cas, that girl really is a witch,”

“She’s out of our lives now,” said Cas.

“She better stays that way, if I ever see her again …”

“Charlie, you’re almost as red as your hair,” said Cas. They both laughed after that and Charlie tried to relax and spend a nice evening.

* * *

 

Charlie left after 10 pm; Cas took Nik for a walk after that and then he came back to the apartment. He was about to go to bed when his phone rang,

“Hello Dean,” he answered.

“Hi Cas, how was Charlie day?” asked Dean,

“Great, we ate tacos,” said Cas.

“Cool… umm, listen, I was about to go to bed, I was wondering, do you want to go on a Date with me?” he sounded nervous.

“Yes, of course,” said Cas with joy.

“Awesome, I was thinking maybe tomorrow, seven o clock? I’ll pick you up at your place,”

“Tomorrow I have therapy at 5:30, Can you pick me at my doctor’s office instead? Isn’t that too weird?”

“No, it’s fine,”

“What should I wear, I mean are we going to like a formal place or something like that?”

“No, I know that you hate crowded places, I want it to be a surprise, but I promise it will be only the two of us, so you can wear whatever you’re comfortable with,” said Dean.

“Thanks Dean,” said Cas.

“I wanna keep talking to you but I’m fried, my eyes are closing,” said Dean.

“Go to bed Dean, I love you,” said Cas.

“I love you too Cas, see you tomorrow,” said Dean.

Cas hanged up and plopped himself on his bed. He fell asleep with a huge smile drawn on his face.

* * *

 

Dean stopped outside Doctor Norton’s office at 7 pm; he saw that Cas was already waiting for him outside. Cas waved at him and walked towards Baby. Once he was inside the car and with his seatbelt on, Dean gave him a kiss on the cheek,

“Hi Cas,”

“Hello Dean,”

“You look great,” Said Dean. Cas was wearing black skinny jeans and a gray and blue stripped Henley; the combination looked great with his hair.

“Thanks, you too,” said Cas. Dean was wearing the jeans Charlie gave him for his birthday and a black and blue flannel.

When Dean started to drive Cas noticed that the car had a faint smell of Bacon. Dean noticed that he was sniffing,

“Bought those burger you like from downtown, we’re having a picnic at Terrace park,” said Dean,

“Next to the lake?” asked Cas.

“Yeah,” said Dean with a smile, “so, anyway, how was your day?” asked Dean.

“Fine, I think we finally found the two new members of Kraken, we’re interviewing them tomorrow,” said Cas.

“Great, you ready to have your own team?”

“Yes, I think so, I’m about to start my new project with dad, so it will be great to have some extra time,” said Cas,

“Can’t believe you’re finally going to work on the graphic novels, I’m so proud of you,” said Dean. Cas smiled and leaned on Dean’s shoulder.  
  
Once they arrived to the park, Dean took a backpack from the trunk of his car and the bag of burgers from the backseat,

“This way,” he said, he held Cas’s hand and pulled him.

“Are you sure we’re allowed to be here at this hour?” asked Cas, “is it safe?”

“Yeah, Ash’s cousin is a security guard here, he owed me a few favors so, this is cool,” said Dean; he grabbed a tablecloth from the backpack and set it on the grass, then he opened a box with fake plastic candles, he turned them on and placed them in the center of the tablecloth. At the end he opened the bag with food and handed Cas his burger.

“This is perfect,” said Cas.

“This is our first official date,” said Dean. Cas smiled and took a bite of his burger; he made a pornographic sound right after that.

“Jesus Cas, want me to leave you alone with your burger?” asked Dean laughing.

“Says the one who has wet dreams with pie,” said Cas.

“Oh my god! Once, it happened once… and I was super wasted,” said Dean.

“Whatever you say Dean, if repeating that helps you sleep at night,” said Cas rolling his eyes.

“Oh c’mon man,” said Dean.

“I’m sorry,” said Cas laughing.

“Whatever,” said Dean crossing his arms.

“Don’t get mad Dean, do you want me to tell you about my therapy?” asked Cas.

“You don’t have to if you don’t wanna,” said Dean. He grabbed a couple of sodas and a box with fries from the bag, then he picked his burger and began to eat as well,

“I told Doctor Norton about us,” said Cas.

“Really?” said Dean with a smile.

“Yes, I told her about my mom too, it was a productive session,” said Cas.

“I’m proud of you,”

“I know this is hard for you Dean, I’m practically forcing you to go back to the closet to be with me, I promise you that I’m trying… telling my doctor about you was a big step for me,” he said.

“Hey, Cas you’re not forcing me to do anything, okay? I’m okay with taking things slow, you don’t have to feel pressured”.

“Okay, I talked to my doctor about this, she thinks that maybe I’m afraid of all this because it's new, and you know how much I hate being out of my comfort zone, I mean, I’m not trying to justify myself, but I think she’s right… sudden change scares me,” he said.

“It’s okay, really, no rush,” said Dean. They finished their food and sat closer to each other, staring at the reflection of the nigh on the lake. Dean leaned his head on Cas’s shoulder and Cas played with his boyfriend’s hair.

“Cas,”

“Hmm,”

“Marge Simpson,” said Dean.

“What?”

“Your hair,” said Dean chuckling.

“You’re so creative Dean,” said Cas.

“Shut up, you love me,”

“Yes, I do,” said Cas placing a kiss on Dean’s head.

They remained like that for a while. Dean told him about his day at work. They kissed and shared a chocolate bar and at the end of the night they went for a stroll by the lake.

Cas arrived to his apartment a little after midnight, he’d never felt happier in his whole life.

* * *

 

The days went by like that, Dean and Cas would go on date night sometimes, sometimes Dean would hang out in the apartment, they would order pizza and watch Netflix. Cas was slowly easing into a routine.

Suddenly it had been two weeks since he started dating Dean and they had to face their first challenge as a couple: going out with Charlie and pretend that they weren’t dating.

It was a Tuesday, Charlie was back on talking terms with Dean but she knew it was important to be friends again with him because Cas was friends with him again, so she came up with the brilliant idea of a movie evening at Cas’.

Cas was really happy about it, except of course for the fact that he wasn’t ready to tell Charlie the truth.

“We don’t have to tell her if you don’t want to,” said Dean while cuddling with Cas on Monday night.

“I’m sorry Dean, I’m not ready,” he said.

“It’s okay Cas, no rush, really,” said Dean.

“She’ll find out,” said Cas.

“We’ll keep it cool, no cuddling, no kisses, no blood sacrifices on the table,” Cas snorted.

“That’s why I love you,” said Cas.

“Yeah, I know… I mean, I’m hot but the blood sacrifices are my strongest feature,” said Dean laughing. “No, but seriously, why do you love me?” asked Dean.

“Well, you’re smart, caring and you’re always worried about everyone around you. You always reach your goals, you have a pure soul… and when you smile, Jesus…” said Cas with a sigh, “You always take care of me, ever since we were kids, you’ve always been there, you love me even though I’m not the most normal person in the world, you help me when I have meltdowns and you always make me tea… and you’re not that ugly, so yeah, you’re fine,” said Cas. Dean laughed and pressed a kiss on the back of Cas’s neck, “what about you? Why do you love me?” asked Cas.

“You make me a better person, you inspire me, the way you’re always trying, the world is a weird place to you, and still you go out every day and face it, sometimes it sucks and sometimes it’s great but it doesn’t matter because the next day you’re up trying again. You’re so wise, you’ve been giving me advices since we were 8… you’re always trying to help people. You have the biggest heart in the world… I could get lost in your eyes too… and that ass, Jesus, don’t make me talk about that ass,” said Dean.

“I’m sorry, but you know pretty well that this ass belongs to the lady next door,” joked Cas.

“Accidents can happen, she’s very old,” said Dean.

“Aww you would kill an old lady for me,” said Cas.

“That’s how much I love you,” said Dean with a smile.

They remained like that for another hour, Dean finally managed to make Cas feel more relaxed about Charlie, he promised him that everything would be fine and then he left because it was getting late.

Cas was getting a little tired of watching Dean go, he was really contemplating the idea of asking him to move back in.

 

* * *

 

Movie night with Charlie finally came. Charlie and Cas got earlier to the apartment. They bought junk food and beers to watch the movies. Dean arrived at 6:15 pm.

“Hi guys,” he said. He hugged Cas and it was a little awkward, then he hugged Charlie.

“I’ve missed you Dean,” said Charlie.

“Yeah, me too Red,” he said. She handed him a beer from the fridge and then the three went to the living room to be more comfortable. Cas and Charlie sat on the couch, while Dean opted for a beanbag chair.

“So, how was your Day?” asked Cas.

“Fine I guess, a lot of paperwork and we ran out of coffee, but I survived... what about you guys?

“Big meeting today, the new girls start working tomorrow, kind of a mess around the office, we had to rearrange the studio, Cas has an office for himself now,” said Charlie.

“Really?” asked Dean with a smile, “I’m proud of you Cas,”

“Thanks Dean, I wasn’t expecting it, they surprised me with the news today… that’s why the new girls are starting tomorrow, they gave me the whole day to get used to my new office,” said Cas. Dean felt the urge to hug Cas; he knew the guy would probably be mentally exhausted after the day.

“Too bad I won’t have you sitting next to me anymore Cas,” said Charlie.

“At least we still get to share our lunch break,” he said with a smile.

They kept talking for a while, eventually they ordered Chinese food and started the movie. When the food arrived Dean stood up to get it, he was a little surprised to see that Charlie and Cas were cuddling on the couch. She was holding him and Cas seemed okay with it.

Dean paid for the food and returned with the bags to the living room. Cas paused the movie and they divided the food in three parts. While Dean saw the interaction between Charlie and Cas he realized something: Charlie had taken Dean’s place in Cas’s life when he left. At first he felt a little jealous but then, he was grateful, because thanks to Charlie, Cas managed to go through that hard time.

After the movie, Cas walked to the kitchen to answer a call from his dad, leaving Charlie and Dean alone in the living room.

“Sooo...” said Charlie,

“I need to thank you Charlie,” said Dean.

“What for?” asked the redhead.

“For being here for Cas when I wasn’t… when I see the way you two are with each other… he trusts you, and I’m so happy that he has another friend now,” said Dean.

“Well, someone had to do it Dean,” she said, “sorry, I didn’t mean for it to sound that way, I...”

“No, you’re right, I deserved that,” said Dean a little sad.

“No man, you both were being stubborn and stupid… I’m glad you fixed it, really, you guys need each other to be happy,” said Charlie.

“Yeah,” answered Dean, he looked at Cas coming back from the kitchen and he couldn’t help but feel the butterflies in his stomach _‘man, I have it bad’_ he thought.

Movie evening with Charlie went great; it really helped to improve Charlie and Dean’s friendship. She left at ten. Dean and Cas walked her downstairs and then they took Nik for a walk.

An hour later, Dean said goodbye to Cas; they kissed leaning on the Impala and Dean kept assuring Cas that everything would be fine the next day,

“Relax Cas, it’ll be fine, you’ll be an amazing boss and now you get to have your own space for yourself,” said Dean holding his boyfriend’s hand.

“You’re right, everything’s going to be fine,” said Cas with a shy smile.

“That’s the spirit,” said Dean, “tell you what… tomorrow after work I’ll pick you up at Kraken and we’ll have a nice relaxing evening here, I’ll give you a massage and make your favorite tea, we can watch a movie you like and I’ll cook dinner for you,” said Dean placing small kisses on Cas’s neck.

“Hmm… I like that,”

“The plan or the kisses?” asked Dean smiling.

“Both,” admitted Cas; Dean snorted.

“Cas, I really gotta go, I have to be pretty early tomorrow at the garage,” said Dean.

“Why?” asked Cas sounding like a little child.

“Because tomorrow I’ll leave the office at 4:30 so I can spend the evening with my boyfriend,” said Dean.

“Oh, you better go then, said Cas pushing Dean,” Dean laughed and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before walking towards the driver’s door.

“Good night Cas,” he said with a smile,

“Good night Dean, see you tomorrow.”

* * *

 

Cas woke up to the sound of his alarm,

“I’m not ready for this,” he said while turning off the damn thing. He took a deep breath and gathered all his strength to get out of bed. After taking Nik for a walk, a quick shower and a big breakfast, he was ready to face the day.

When he arrived to Kraken he almost walked upstairs, then he remembered that now he had an office for himself and it was in the first floor. He walked towards his office and locked himself inside.

It wasn’t a big room, but it was enough for him to have a desk, a big bookshelf and a small couch. He saw a big box wrapped in blue paper on his desk. He placed his backpack on the couch and got closer to the box, it had a post-it note that said:

**Cas,**

**We know you don’t like changes but you’re going to love this.**

**Love,**

  
**Dad & Gabe.**

He unwrapped the box and saw that inside there was a brand new iMac. He smiled and made a mental note to thank his family later. Right in that moment he heard a knock on the door,

“Come in,” he said.

“Hi Cas,” said Charlie opening the door, “Oh wow, new computer?” she asked.

“Present from dad and Gabriel,” said Cas.

“Awesome… umm, hey, everyone’s here, we’re about to start the meeting,” she said.

“Great,” said Cas clearly nervous.

“You ready?” asked Charlie, Cas took a deep breath and nodded,

“Yes, let’s do this,” said Cas with determination.

* * *

 

Inside the meeting room everyone was already sitting around the table. Next to Kevin were the new members of the team. Once Charlie and Cas took their seats Benny started to speak.

“Good morning everyone… we called for this meeting so you could formally meet the new members of the team… girls I know this sounds like when you were in elementary school but can you please say your name and a little something about you?” said Benny.

The first one to stand up was a tall woman with dark skin and long dreadlocks; she was wearing a beautiful blue summer dress.

“Hi, my name is Tamika Smith, I’m 24 and I am an illustrator and a specialist in motion graphics. I’m from Missouri but I moved to Sioux Falls eight years ago… umm, I love pop music, I have a cat called Tuna and a dog called Soup… and I think that’s it,” she said with a nervous smile.

“Welcome to the team,” said Charlie. Tamika sat down and then it was Meg’s turn to stand up. She was a short brunette with really pale skin and long hair. She was wearing a leather jacket and really tight jeans.

“Hello, I’m Meg Masters, I’m 25, I’m an animator and graphic designer. I’m from Massachusetts and I moved to Sioux Falls last year. I love to read; I would read anything…except for those ‘self improvement’ books, umm... what else? Oh yeah, I love coffee, I have a dog called Lucifer and I’m really happy to be part of your team,” she said looking a little more confident than Tamika.

“Thanks Meg…Well, I’m Benny Lafitte, you already know me from the previous interviews. I’m 25, born in Louisiana raised in Sioux Falls, I have a beautiful girlfriend, I’m a publicist and I’m the manager of Kraken,” said Benny with a smirk.

“Ash, 22, I’m a programmer… I love my hair, alcohol and my computer. I don’t have a girlfriend in case you were wondering by the way,” he said winking at the girls; both of them laughed and Kevin threw a paper plane to Ash’s head.

“Hi, I’m Kevin, I’m 19… I’m an intern here but the guys are really kind and still pay me, which is great; I’m into programming too, but I help everyone around in here,”

“Hello, I’m Charlie Bradbury, 23, also I didn’t know Ash was younger than me, that’s a new one… anyway, umm… I’m a programmer, and I’m also one of the newest members of the team, I moved to Sioux Falls just to work here. I’m a huge nerd and I’m obsessed with Star Trek and Doctor who.” Said Charlie talking a little fast; Cas could tell that she was nervous; Cas was the last one to speak, he cleared his throat and sat straight,

“Hello, my name is Castiel Novak, like Benny you already know me from your interviews but umm… I’m 24, I have a dog Called Nikola Tesla, I love Doctor Who, pizza and Fall Out Boy… And starting today I’m the new boss of the design department. I umm… I have Asperger’s syndrome and normally I don’t go around telling people but since we’re going to be working together is important to know each other. If you have any question on that regard, feel free to ask me or anyone in the office… I think that’s all,” said Cas.

“Well… why don’t we take the first part of the day to get to know each other, Charlie can you show the girls to their desks?”

“Yeah, sure Benny,” said Charlie.

“Okay then, talk, become friends… there’s a box of doughnuts in the kitchen, I’ll see you here after lunch break, we have a couple of new clients and we need to start working,” said Benny.

Everybody stood up and walked to the studio. Cas thanked Benny but he decided to go back to his office instead , he needed to relax a little before engaging in the social interaction.

He decided to distract himself by setting up his new computer, _‘I need to give it a name,’_ he thought. Fifteen minutes later his computer was ready to work.

He was about to call his dad when he heard on knock on the door,

“Come in,” he said. Someone carrying a huge box entered the office, at first he couldn’t see who it was because the box was covering his face, but then he saw bowed legs and smiled widely.

“Dean, what are you doing here?” asked Cas.

“Hi, Cas,” said Dean kicking de door behind him to close it, “I was in the neighborhood,” he said.

“What’s in the box?” asked Cas.

“Oh, well… I figured your new office would be a little empty, so I brought you a few presents,” said Dean. He placed the box on the couch and started looking for something inside, “here,” he said handing Cas a little cactus in a blue pot. Cas grabbed it and smiled, he placed the plant on the top part of his bookshelf.

“Thank you Dean,” said Cas.

“I also got you this,” he handed Cas a box of TARDIS string lights and a new copy of the little prince.

“Oh my God, Dean this is perfect,” He hugged his boyfriend. Dean laughed and placed a kiss on the top of Cas’s head.

“This is nothing, look what I found last week,” he handed Cas what looked like a piggy bank but instead of being a pig, it was a dog, a pug actually and it was missing the same leg as Nik.

“Where did you get this?” Said Cas hugging the ceramic dog.

“Garage sale, I went with Bobby last Saturday, I was making time before picking you up from Chuck’s and Bobby saw it, I had to buy it,” said Dean smiling.

“I love it,” Cas placed it next to his plant.

“And then we have this,” said Dean, he grabbed a framed picture from inside the box; Cas grabbed it and saw a photo of him with Charlie and Dean, they were sitting on Bobby’s living room on Christmas, even little Nik was in the picture. Cas placed it next to his new computer and hugged Dean.

“Thank you Dean,” he kissed his boyfriend on the cheek, “I love you.”

They were about to kiss when someone else knocked on the door. Dean sighed and Cas rolled his eyes.

“Come in,” he said taking a few steps back.

“Hi boss, I was just… Oh, hi, sorry, I didn’t know you were with a client,” apologized Meg.

“Hello Meg, this is Dean Winchester… my best friend,” said Cas, “Dean, this is Meg Maters, she’s one of our new designers,”

“Hi,” said Dean.

“Hi,” said Meg without paying much attention to Dean, “so, Castiel… I noticed you didn’t go to our little party so I decided to bring you coffee,” she said with a smile, she stretched her arm to hand the cup to Cas.

“Cas doesn’t drink coffee,” said Dean, he grabbed the cup from Meg’s hands, “but I’ll take it, thank you,” he winked at her.

“Umm… okay, is there anything else I can get you?” she asked a little confused,

“No thank you Meg, I’m fine…”

“Okay, well… we’re still waiting for you upstairs if you want to join us,” she said, “Nice to meet you Dan,”

“Dean,” corrected the Winchester.

“That’s what I said,” she answered leaving the office.

“What was that?” asked Cas.

“I think her name is Meg,” said Dean.

“No, I mean… what was that with the coffee, why did you do that?” asked Cas.

“I have one question,” said Dean, “is she your assistant?”

“No, I don’t have an assistant,” said Cas.

“Then why would she bring you coffee?” asked Dean.

“I don’t… are you jealous? Oh my God! You are!” Dean was blushing.

“Maybe… okay, yeah a little,”

“You’re adorable,”

“Of course not! I’m a strong tough guy, Cas,” said Dean trying to defend his dignity.

“Okay, Mr. strong tough, will making me a cup of tea make you feel better?” asked Cas laughing.

“Damn right, no one makes hot comforting beverages to my man except for me, and maybe Kevin sometimes…” said Dean crossing his arms.

“C’mon lets go upstairs, you can make me some tea and we have doughnuts,”

“Hell yeah,” Dean planted another Kiss on his boyfriend’s lips before finally turning around to open the door.

“Dean, aren’t you supposed to be at work? Not that I don’t like you being here,” said Cas while they were going upstairs.

“Decided to take the day off, I’ve worked so many extra shifts lately that Bobby said it was cool,” explained Dean.

They walked into the small kitchen and Dean turned on the kettle to make Cas’s tea. Cas grabbed a couple of doughnuts and handed one to Dean. Once the tea was ready they walked out of the kitchen and into the studio.

“Hi Dean,” said Charlie waving a hand.

“Oh, hi red!” said Dean. Cas and Dean walked towards the lounge area; everyone (Except Benny) was there.

“Dean, nice seeing you,” said Ash.

“Thanks, I had a free day and decided to see how Cas was doing on his big day,” said Dean.

“Thought you didn’t drink coffee,” said Meg pointing at Cas’s mug.

“I don’t, this is tea,” he said squinting his eyes.

“Oh,”

“Dean, this is Tamika Smith, she’s the other new member of our team,” Said Cas when Dean took a seat next to Tamika.

“Hi, nice to meet you,” said Dean shaking hands with her.

“Tamika, this is Dean Winchester my… best friend… I mean, sorry Charlie, my best male friend,” said Cas rolling his eyes.

“That’s better,” said Charlie with a smile.

They talked happily for a while, Dean’s presence helped Cas to relax. Charlie wasn’t sure why but she could sense a weird tension between Meg and Dean.

After an hour of nice chat, Dean’s phone rang.

“Hey Bobby,” he said, “Kinda, I’m at Kraken… why? Oh, really man? But it’s my day off… why do I even bother? No yeah, I got it, Jesus I’m gonna lock Alfie in a trunk of a Car the next time this happens, yeah, I’ll go, don’t worry… see ya,”

“What happened?” asked Cas.

“Bobby sent Alfie to run some errands and the idiot just called him because he has a flat tire… and he doesn’t have a spare one in his car… Bobby’s busy so he asked me to go an help Alfie…”

“Okay, I’ll walk you out,” said Cas standing up. Dean said goodbye to everyone and then followed Cas downstairs.  
  
Once they were downstairs and made sure that no one was looking, Cas gave Dean a quick peck on the lips.

“It sucks that you have to leave,” he said.

“I know, but hey… we’ll spend the whole evening together remember,” said Dean with a smile.

“Can’t wait,” said Cas.

“See you later Cas, I’ll pick you up today, don't forget,” Cas waved goodbye and then, after a sigh returned upstairs.

* * *

 

After two meetings, one social gathering, talking to two different clients and listening to the high tone of three girls gossiping (who knew Charlie could laugh that high), he was ready to go home.

“You sure you don’t want a ride Cas?” asked Charlie when they were leaving the office.

“Thank you Charlie but I made plans with Dean,” said Cas rubbing his temple.

“Headache?” asked Charlie.

“A little… this day was stressful,”

“At least it's finally over,” said Charlie.

“Yes, I can’t wait to be on my bed,” said Cas.

“Thought you had plans with Dean,”

“Yes, the plans involve me sleeping while he cooks,” said Cas with a smile.

“Well, that sounds great… oh look, there he is, get some rest Cas, see you tomorrow,” said Charlie walking towards her car. Cas walked on the opposite direction and climbed into Dean’s Car.

“How was your day?” asked Dean.

“I need to sleep for 10 years,” said Cas. Dean drove in silence to the apartment.

* * *

 

“Oh my God Dean! Right there, do that again,” said Cas with his face buried on his pillow, “Christ all mighty, that’s the spot, ahhh!” Dean kept rubbing Cas’s shoulders; he was pretty sure that Cas had no idea of what his words were doing to Dean’s jeans.

“Relax Cas,” he managed to say. He was lucky that Cas was on his back so he couldn’t see Dean blushing.

“It’s just… it feels so good, I really needed this… oh crap, yeah! Do that again,” Dean moved a little and tried to adjust himself in his jeans, he almost lost it when Cas began to moan.

After a few minutes Cas managed to relax, eventually he fell asleep and Dean was thankful for that.

Dean went to the bathroom to wash his hands and get rid of his problem and then he returned to the bedroom and lay next to Cas. He smiled and looked at the naked back of his boyfriend, _‘I can’t believe I just gave Cas a massage,’_ He thought. He got closer to his boyfriend and fell asleep next to him.

* * *

 

When Dean opened his eyes he found Cas staring with real concentration at his face,

“Hi,” said Dean.

“Hello,” answered Cas.

“Umm... what are you doing?” asked Dean a little curious.

“I’m sorry, I was counting your freckles,” admitted Cas blushing. Dean smiled.

“Don’t apologize, that’s sweet,” he said. Cas smiled back.

“So, Cas… feeling better?” asked Dean.

“Yes, thanks for my massage,” said Cas.

“Oh, we’re not done with your ‘relaxing evening,’ now I’m going to prepare you a bath, with those weird bath bombs you like and a lot of bubbles, and while you take a bath I’ll cook dinner, what about that?” asked Dean.

“Did I mention that I love you?” asked Cas.

“I don’t mind hearing it again,” said Dean with a smirk.

“I love you,” said Cas again. Dean ruffled his hair and got out of bed.

“I love you too… be right back, gonna get your bath ready,” said Dean.

A few minutes later Dean came back,

“Okay, it’s ready… you go and take your bath, I’ll take Nik for a walk and then start dinner, okay?” Cas stood up and kissed Dean. The Winchester was caught by surprise, he smiled and deepened the kiss, he held Cas by the waist and pulled him closer to his chest. Cas placed his arms around Dean’s neck and started to play with his hair. Dean pushed him and they both fell on the bed. Cas moaned as Dean touched his naked chest. Dean finally stopped the kiss to take some air.

“I should… probably go take my bath now,” said Cas trying to control his breathing, he licked his lips, “I umm… the water will get cold,”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” said Dean, he rolled over and lay next to Cas. After a few seconds Cas stood up and ran out of the room.

“Fuck,” said Dean when he heard the Bathroom’s door closing.

* * *

 

Cas got into the bath still shaking after his make out session with Dean. They had made out a lot of times, but this time was different, Cas didn’t want to stop it, but he was scared, he was new at this ‘having a boyfriend thing,’ what if he wasn’t good at Sex? What if it was too much?  
_‘I can’t even touch cardboard because I hate the texture… how am I supposed to have sex with Dean?’_ he thought, _‘Maybe we’re going too fast… yes Castiel, because more than 10 years of pining for the guy wasn’t enough apparently.’_

“Argg... I need to talk to someone,” he said before sinking himself on the purple water of his bath.

* * *

 

Dean returned to the apartment after taking Nik for a walk, he knocked on the bathroom’s door to let Cas know that he was home and then he headed to the kitchen to cook dinner.

Cas sat at the table feeling a little more relaxed and wearing his favorite pajama pants. Dean had cooked homemade pizza and it was delicious.

“Thank you so much Dean, you made this day perfect,” said Cas.

“Oh, it’s not over yet,” said Dean smirking, Cas looked at him with curiosity, “this is a full on spa session, man”. Dean placed a bowl of something that looked like guacamole, and a plate of sliced cucumbers, on the table. Cas burst into laughter.

They spent the rest of the evening watching movies and wearing Avocado face masks.

At the end of the day, after Dean was gone, Cas felt ready to face the next day, and even though he was really contemplating calling Eddie for advice in dating another guy, he still felt like he was making big progress on his relationship with Dean.

* * *

 

“Cas, Movie night this Thursday, you in?” asked Charlie. Cas was having lunch with the girls from Kraken.

“The 28th? I can’t,” said Cas.

“Why?” Asked Meg.

“Business meeting,” he simply said.

“At night?” asked Meg.

“Kraken isn’t my only work Meg, I’m also collaborating with a writer to publish a series of graphic novels, and since I have to work during the day at Kraken, I use my free time to work on my other projects,” explained Cas.

“Writer?” asked Tamika, “Famous?”

“I guess… I can’t talk about the subject yet, but as soon as I’m free to talk about it I’ll let you guys know,” said Cas.

“Boo,” said Meg.

“Okay, the point is that you can’t go to our movie night… too bad, we’ll have to turn it into a girls night then,” The girls happily started to plan their girls night, Cas was barely paying attention, he was too busy making his own plans, 28th marked a month since he and Dean had became boyfriends.

  
After almost a month of being together Cas and Dean had developed a routine. They would see each other basically every day of the week except for Charlie nights on Tuesdays; and Fridays because Cas needed to go to bed early to be on time at Chuck’s the next morning. On Saturdays Dean would pick up Cas from Chuck’s and he would spend the night at the apartment.

Cas was more and more comfortable each day that passed with their relationship. Dean was being patient and Cas was really thankful for that.

* * *

 

Dean knocked on Cas’s door at 7:06 pm, Cas opened the door and received his boyfriend with a huge smile.

“Hello Dean,” said Cas.

“Hi Cas… I’m ready for my surprise,” said Dean.

A week earlier Cas had volunteered to plan their special date for the 28th, Dean of course accepted because he knew that Cas would feel more comfortable being in control of the situation.

“We’re having dinner upstairs,” said Cas. Dean followed him through the fire escape, when they reached the rooftop he saw that it was beautifully decorated with strings of lights and everything was ready for a ‘rooftop movie party,’ Dean smiled and sat on the big bunch of pillows and blankets lying on the floor. Cas sat next to Dean. Dean soon noticed that next to them was a small cooler with juice, and beer and a big box of his favorite pizza, there was also a pie that looked homemade.

“Cas, this is awesome,” They cuddled and watched Captain America together. They shared their food and Dean skipped on the beer, so they both had apple juice.

“You, know? We first kissed on this exact same spot,” said Cas once the movie was over.

“Gosh, you’re right,” said Dean looking around him. A lot had changed in one month, “you have no idea how long I waited for that moment, Cas,” said Dean holding Cas closer to him.

“When did you fall in love with me?” Asked Cas.

“That’s a hard question… I think I realized that I had feelings for you when we were 16… Sam’s stupid dog made us fall on the mud and… I ended up on top of you, I saw your eyes and we were so close… all I wanted to do was kiss you, it just hit me like a freaking ton of bricks, I was like ‘man, I’m in love with Cas,’ but that’s the moment I realize it, you know? I think I’ve always loved you, I can’t think of a time in our lives when I didn’t felt like I was happy next to you…” Said Dean blushing, “what about you?” he asked.

“We were twelve… my shirt got stuck on something and when I pulled, it ripped, that day I was supposed to have a presentation in front of the whole class, and I had a hole in my shirt… you took off your shirt and swapped it with me… you didn’t care if people made fun of you the whole day, you gave me your shirt and said that for you it was more important if I was happy than a stupid shirt… That day I realized that I was in love with you,” said Cas.

“I would do anything to make you happy Cas,” said Dean.

“You make me happy Dean, you don’t have to try very hard,” said Cas. They remained silent for a while, just holding each other and enjoying the moment. Eventually Cas let go of Dean and grabbed a box from behind the cooler.

“I have a present for you,” said Cas.

“Cas, I didn’t get you anything,” said Dean.

“It’s okay, this is basically a present for both of us… I think,” said Cas, he opened the box and when Dean saw what was inside he burst into laughter,

“Is that cauliflower?” asked Dean.

“I didn’t have it last time, and I have to ask something important… I thought it would be necessary…” said Cas.

“Okay, what is it?” Asked Dean. Cas picked another thing from the box and gave it to Dean; it was a key.

“Cas, what…?”

“Is a key of the apartment,” said Cas.

“You getting tired of me knocking on the door?” asked Dean with a smirk.

“Yes… but also I think you’ll need it when you move in,” said Cas.

“Are you?... Are you sure of this Cas?” asked Dean.

“Yes Dean, I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately, and at first I thought that it was too soon and that I was being ridiculous for wanting this… but I mean, we’ve been in love for years, we’ve been best friends for years and we lived together for years, so what really is ridiculous is that we’re not sharing a roof again at this point,” said Cas. Dean laughed and took a small bite from his cauliflower.

“Okay, how do you want to do this?” asked Dean.

“You’re welcome to move in whenever you want,” said Cas.

“Yeah, that’s not what I meant… I umm… I’ll get it if you’re not ready and I know that you need your space… I just… will I be staying in my old room or do you want to share a room with me? Again, no pressure,” said Dean trying not to blush.

“I’ve thought about it too… I want to share a room with you of course Dean, I was thinking, maybe we could turn my room in our room and use the other room as a studio,” said Cas.

“Umm… what about this? We’ll put all my stuff in the other room and we’ll spend our evenings and weekends slowly turning your room into our room. It could be like our personal project and we both get to choose how do we want it to look… then we do the same with the studio,”

“I don’t deserve you,” whispered Cas.

“Don’t say that,” Said Dean.

“You’re too good for me,” said Cas, “you’re the most comprehensive, lovable boyfriend in the world and I can’t even tell people that I’m with you because I’m a ball of insecurities,”

“Hey, no… don’t say stuff like that Cas, please,”

“I’m sorry… I’m ruining our night,”

“Of course not! Every moment I spend with you is perfect Cas, I know you’re trying okay? I don’t give a fuck if we never tell anyone about us, I just want to be with you,” said Dean. Cas raised his head and smiled at his boyfriend with teary eyes. Dean cupped his cheek with his hand and got closer to Cas,

“This is an ironic way to celebrate our month together,” said Cas,

“What do you mean?” asked Dean a little confused.

“Last month we were in this same spot, you said cheesy things and then I cried,” said Cas.

“Yeah, and then we kissed,” said Dean before pressing his lips to his boyfriend’s.

* * *

 

“Bobby,” I’m moving back with Cas," Said Dean on Friday during lunch break.

“About damn time,” said Bobby.

“Jesus, tell me how you really feel,” joked Dean.

“That’s not what I mean Dean, you know you’re more than welcome in my house, but I know that you’re happier living with Cas,”

“Yeah, I love… having my best friend back,” said Dean.

“So, when are you moving?” asked Bobby.

“Tomorrow, Chuck and Gabe are out of town for the weekend so Cas is free, Charlie is helping us,” said Dean.

“Okay, we’re having a nice goodbye dinner tonight then,” decided Bobby.

* * *

 

Dean spent his evening packing his stuff while Bobby cooked dinner. They had a nice quiet dinner together; they watched some Dexter episodes and shared a bottle of scotch.

“I’m still visiting you every Saturday morning old man,” said Dean while watching TV.

“Dean, I get to see your ugly face every day at work, stop crying,” said Bobby. Dean pushed his uncle playfully and then resumed watching their show.

“No but really Bobby, thanks for everything man, you helped me a lot,” said Dean.

“I’m glad I was able to help son… I’m just curious, are you still in love with Cas?” asked Bobby.

“Yes,”

“Are you ever gonna tell him?”

“I don't know Bobby, there are things that's better to keep secret,”

“As long as you’re happy,” said Bobby rolling his eyes.

* * *

 

Saturday morning found a very sleepy Cas, waiting for Charlie to pick him up. He was falling asleep while standing when he saw her stopping outside his building,

“Hi Cas, lets go!” she said smiling. Cas climbed into her car and waved at her, “Jesus, you look like a zombie, did you sleep?” she asked worried.

“Not much, I had a lot in my mind,” he said.

“Well, try to sleep, I’ll wake you up when we’re at Bobby’s,” Cas nodded and closed his eyes.

When they arrived at Bobby’s, Dean was placing a couple of boxes on Baby’s trunk.

“Hi guys,” he said, “wow Cas, rough night?” he asked.

“Something like that,” said Cas. Dean wanted to hug him and ask him more about it, but he knew Cas wouldn’t appreciate it if he did it in front of Charlie.

Bobby offered them a nice breakfast and after his second cup of black tea, Cas went back to being a functional member of society. They loaded Bobby’s truck with Dean’s stuff; Dean would be taking the truck for the weekend and return it on Monday, Bobby was keeping Baby.

They said their goodbyes, Dean thanked Bobby again and then they drove to the apartment.

It took them almost two hours but eventually they put every single box in Dean’s old room.

Charlie placed the last box on top of the bed.

“Okay, that was good exercise,” she said, “God Cas, you’re sweating a lot man,”

“Yes, I am,” he said. Cas wasn’t sweating because of the physical activity; it was because he was about to do something that was a big challenge for him.

“Okay, well Dean, lets help you unpack all your stuff and arrange this room,” said Charlie.

“Umm... there’s no need for that,” said Dean.

“Why not? We’re already here Dean, this is a lot of work for one person, we can help you,”

“Charlie, that wont be necessary… because Dean and I will be sharing a room,”

“What?” asked Charlie.

“Umm… Charlie, I… we… Dean is my boyfriend,” he said finally.

Charlie’s jaw dropped. She stared at her friends in shock.

“Am I dreaming?” she asked after a few seconds.

“No,” said Dean.

“Are you… are… are you serious are you two really a couple?” she asked smiling.

Cas got closer to Dean and pressed a quick peck on his lips.

“Wow” said Charlie jumping with excitement.

“Cas, you’re shaking,” said Dean.

“I think I need to sit down,” Dean walked him to the bed and helped him sit down.

“What’s going on Cas? Are you okay?” asked Charlie.

“Apart from telling Doctor Norton, This is the first time I’ve said that out loud Charlie,” said Cas taking a deep breath.

“Hey, Cas… everything’s cool man, the world didn’t explode, see? You came out to Charlie and everything’s fine,” said Dean rubbing his boyfriend’s back. Cas smiled and leaned his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“Cas, you don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not ready… I know how it’s like,” said Charlie.

“No, I want to tell you, you’re my best friend and I have to stop being afraid of telling people,” said Cas. They stayed in silence for a few minutes until Charlie decided to speak,

“Well, let me tell you something Cas, you guys are the cutest couple ever… how long have you been dating?”

“A month,” said Cas with a shy smile.  
  
“Wow, really? That explains a lot,” she said.

“What do you mean?” asked Cas.

“Well suddenly you’re always busy and happy… I should’ve known,” she said. Cas smiled.

“I’m really happy for you guys,” she said, “but right now, I’m going to leave you two lovebirds to settle in your new life and share this moment together… and Cas, whenever you’re ready, we can talk about this,”

“Charlie, you don’t have to leave,” said Cas.

“Cas, this is a special moment for you two, and I’m glad you shared it with me and that you told me the truth, I’m really dying to know more but you can tell me any other time okay?”

“Okay,” said Cas.

“Well, I’m leaving now… Dean you better take care of him or I’ll cut your balls while you sleep,” she said with a smile.

“Jesus,” said Dean. Charlie laughed and got out of the room, a few seconds later they could her the main door closing.

“Well, that went better that what I expected,” said Dean.

“I need a nap,” said Cas.

“I could use one too,” said Dean, he stood up and offered his hand to Cas, “C’mon lets go to our room,”

Cas smiled and held Dean’s hand.

“Our room, I love how that sounds,” he said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, i hope you liked it :) I don't know when i'll be able to upload the next chapter because like i said i'll be a little busy during the weekend and apparently during this week too, but I'll try to make some time to finish it and upload it.
> 
> Here's a little preview:
> 
> “So which color did you pick at the end,” asked Charlie.
> 
> “Mint,” said Cas rolling his eyes.
> 
> “Wow, talking about commitment,” said Charlie with a smile. 
> 
> Dean and Cas had spent four days fighting over the new color of the walls of their room. Cas wanted it to be a light green and Dean wanted it to be a light blue, at the end they had settled with mint.
> 
> “It makes the room look bigger at least,” he said.
> 
> “Did you move your desk out?” she asked.
> 
> “Yes, it really looks like a couple’s bedroom now,” said Cas.
> 
> “Right Cas, because couples keep Marvel posters on their bedrooms,” said Charlie rolling her eyes.
> 
> “Well, we’re both big fans of Marvel,” said Cas trying to defend himself.
> 
> “I know… you probably do it while watching your posters of Captain America,” said Charlie laughing. Cas blushed a bright tone of red. “Oh my God, you totally do it while watching your posters of Captain America!” 
> 
> “No… Umm… we don’t, we don’t ‘do it’,” said Cas.
> 
> Charlie stopped laughing.
> 
> “What?”
> 
> “We haven’t had sex yet,” Cas confessed.
> 
> “Oh, I just… I… why?” asked Charlie. Cas finished his iced tea before speaking again.
> 
> “Because I’m afraid,” he said finally. 
> 
> _____
> 
> I would like to remember you that the next chapter has a lot of angst and that i'll be adding new tags, i don't want to spoil you what's going to happen, but one of the tags i'll be adding is 'minor character death'. 
> 
> Also i apologize for any mistake, i tried to re-read this chapter before posting it but it's freaking 2:12am and i want to sleep...


	26. Mom, dad, this is Cas, my boyfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After two weeks of living with Cas again, Dean gets an unexpected Call in the middle of the night. He finally hears news from his dad, sadly not what he was expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back, had some free time so I decided to post this, i'll be busy with work this week (i'm a freelancer) so i can't promise that i'll update soon, but next week i'm free again. I hope you like it, there's some angst in here.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Sending al of you a lot of love and i hope you have a great week (also, i hope the season finale doesn't destroy us.)
> 
> Warnings:
> 
> Mentions of alcoholism and depression. Mentions of someone drowning. In case you didn't read the new tags there's also a 'minor character death'.

* * *

 

Two weeks after the move, Dean and Cas had happily adjusted to their new life. It was as if nothing had happened between them but at the same time everything had changed.

Cas still had a lot of insecurities but he was working on that, at least now he had Charlie to talk about it and he was getting better at sharing things about his relationship with Dean.

It was a Tuesday, so they were having dinner at Charlie’s.

“So which color did you pick at the end,” asked Charlie.

“Mint,” said Cas rolling his eyes.

“Wow, talking about commitment,” said Charlie with a smile.

Dean and Cas had spent four days fighting over the new color of the walls of their room. Cas wanted it to be a light green and Dean wanted it to be a light blue, at the end they had settled with mint.

“It makes the room look bigger at least,” he said.

“Did you move your desk out?” she asked.

“Yes, it really looks like a couple’s bedroom now,” said Cas.

“Right Cas, because couples keep Marvel posters on their bedrooms,” said Charlie rolling her eyes.

“Well, we’re both big fans of Marvel,” said Cas trying to defend himself.

“I know… you probably do it while watching your posters of Captain America,” said Charlie laughing. Cas blushed a bright tone of red.

“Oh my God, you totally do it watching your posters of Captain America!”

“No… Umm… we don’t, we don’t ‘do it’,” said Cas.

Charlie stopped laughing.

“What?”

“We haven’t had sex yet,” Cas confessed.

“Oh, I just… I… why not?” asked Charlie. Cas finished his iced tea before speaking again.

“Because I’m afraid,” he said finally.

“Cas, it’s okay… if you’re not ready, you’re not ready man, you don’t have to rush things,” said Charlie.

“I just… I haven’t talked about this with Dean yet, it’s complicated… it’s a lot to process,”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, first there’s the fact that he’s been with a lot of people, he has experience and I well… I’m me… then, what if we do it and I don’t like it? You know? The sensations and all the physicality that it implies, that could push him away… Dean is a very sexual person and you know it, I … just… this sucks,” admitted Cas.

“Okay, first of all, if you want to do it, Dean won’t mind if you don’t have any experience, he loves you and he’ll make sure that you have a great time. Second, if you don’t like it just tell him, okay? He’ll understand, there are a lot of couples in which one partner is asexual and they still manage to live happily, the important thing here is communication Cas,” said Charlie. Cas nodded. “I mean, you’ve made a lot of progress, you’re with Dean now, you came out of the closet and got yourself the man of your dreams and you get to kiss him every night before going to bed,” she said with a smile.

“You’re right,” said Cas blushing.

They remained silent for a few minutes.

“I was thinking,” said Cas after a while,

“What?”

“Maybe I could ask Eddie for advice,”

“That’s not a bad idea,”

“But it would be a little weird talking about gay sex with another man behind Dean’s back,” said Cas.

“When you put it like that,” admitted Charlie.

“I don’t know, maybe I should just let things happen, it's just… I freak out… it almost happened a month ago and I stopped it,”

“What?” asked Charlie, “what happened?”

“Well, basically we were making out and then I felt that it could turn into something else, I got scared and ran,”

“Well Cas, like I said, if you’re not ready, you’re not ready… don’t try to rush it, if it happens it happens,” she said.

“You’re probably right,” said Cas.

* * *

 That night Cas had trouble falling asleep because he couldn’t stop thinking about his talk with Charlie; he knew he was overthinking it, but he couldn’t help it, _‘I should talk to Dean’_ he thought, _‘we promised to be honest with each other.’_ He knew that Dean would understand, he was aware of the fact that his boyfriend was giving him space and letting him take most of the choices in the relationship to make him feel more comfortable, so maybe talking about it was probably the best solution.

Unfortunately for Cas, his decision of having a mature conversation about sex with Dean would have to wait for a while, because the universe sometimes plays really mean jokes, especially when we’re not expecting it.

* * *

 

Cas had finally fallen asleep, he was sound asleep with his head resting on Dean’s chest when he heard a distant noise, a song that he somehow remembered; he was too asleep to understand what was going on.

Dean stretched his hand and reached for his phone; who the hell was calling him at freaking 3 in the morning?

“Yes?” he said, his voice deep from sleep. Cas turned around trying to ignore the noise. Dean suddenly sat up.

“WHAT? Are you sure?” He asked clearly worried; Cas opened his eyes and saw the clock, it was 3:14 in the morning, and Dean was on the phone; he sat up as well and turned on the lamp next to him, when he looked at his boyfriend, Dean looked like he was about to cry.

  
“No, no… it’s fine… I’ll be there… yeah, see you in a couple of hours, thanks for letting me now,” Dean said. He ended the call and placed his phone back on the table next to him.

“Dean? What happened?” whispered Cas. Dean looked at Cas for a few seconds unable to speak; Cas could see a tear rolling down his cheek.

“My dad… my dad died, Cas,” said Dean before bursting into tears. Cas held him in his arms and rubbed his back, he wasn’t good at comforting people but he knew that right now Dean needed to let all that out.

“It was Bobby, on the phone…” Said Dean after a while, “A guy who worked with dad called him… God Cas, he was in Lawrence, fuck … all this time, he was so close and he couldn’t come back and check on his fucking sons… and it doesn’t matter now because the idiot got fucking wasted and decided to go for a swim and now he’s fucking dead!” Dean punched a pillow next to him and then leaned his head against Cas’s shoulder.

“Okay, so what’s going to happen? Are we going to Lawrence?” asked Cas passing his fingers through Dean’s hair. Dean sat up and nodded,

“Yeah… they’re burying him next to mom,” said Dean.

“Okay,” said Cas taking a deep breath, “I want you to try to sleep okay? I know it’s hard but at least try to rest, I’m going to pack our suitcases and get everything ready, at what time are we leaving?”

“Umm… 7:30 am, Bobby’s driving us,” said Dean. Cas was thankful for that, he knew that Dean was in no condition to drive. He carefully pushed Dean forcing him to lie on the mattress and then covered him with a blanket. Dean curled himself into a small ball, just staring into the nothing. Cas placed a kiss on his temple then he picked Nik from the floor (the little dog had woken up with all the commotion as well) and put him next to Dean.

“Take care of Dean while I’m busy, okay?” he asked his dog. Nik seemed to understand that something was wrong and he buried himself on Dean’s chest. Dean smiled and hugged the dog.

“Thanks Nik… thanks Cas,” he said.

Cas stood up and began gathering their clothes; he went to the other room to grab a couple of suitcases and their suits. He sent an email to Benny letting him know what was going on, then he sent a text to Gabriel telling him what happened and asking him to take care of Nik until they came back. It was a Thursday, so Cas assumed they would be staying at Lawrence for the weekend. Once he had everything ready, he went back to his room. Dean was sound asleep hugging Nik. Cas smiled and left to the kitchen to set the coffeemaker and prepare some snacks for the road. He didn’t know why, but he also called Charlie,

“Cas? What’s wrong? It’s freaking 5 in the morning… someone better be dying,” said Charlie clearly worried.

“I’m sorry for waking you up Charlie, Dean’s father died, Bobby called a few hours ago to let us know… we’re leaving to Kansas in a couple of hours,” he said.

“Oh my God Cas, how is he?” asked Charlie.

“Sad, upset… he’s sleeping now, I’m getting everything ready for our trip,” he explained.

“I’m coming with you,” said Charlie.

“What? Are you sure?”

“Yes, Bobby is like a dad to me and you guys are my friends, and Sam is my friend… you’re my family and I want to be with you in these moments,” said Charlie.

“You’re probably right… I have to warn you, this is going to be hard,” said Cas.

“Cas, I lost my mom last year, remember? Just tell me at what time are we leaving? I’m already packing my stuff,” she said.

“Yes… umm, 7:30 am, Bobby is driving us but I don’t know if we’re going to his place or if he’s picking us up here,”

“Okay, I’ll come to your apartment at 7, and then we’ll figure it out, try to get some sleep Cas, you need to be fine to help Dean, you need to be strong,” she said.

“I know, thanks Charlie.”

After calling Charlie, he finished the sandwiches for the road and decided to take a quick shower. When he finally walked back to his room Dean was still sleeping. Cas set up his alarm for 6:15 am, he would be getting only 30 minutes of sleep, but it was something.

* * *

 

_“But Dad, we can go with you, we’ll be good, I promise,” said Dean grabbing his father’s leg. Bobby was standing next to them carrying Sammy in his arms._

_“No Dean, you need to understand, this is temporary okay? I need to work and I can’t do it if I’m taking care of my kids,”_

_“I can take care of Sammy while you work,” said Dean crying._

_“And who’s gonna take care of you son?” Asked Bobby, Dean let go of John’s leg and crossed his arms,_

_“I can take care of myself, I’m a big boy,”_

_“Dean, please… don’t make this any harder for your daddy okay? Think of this as a vacation, we’re going to have fun and I’ll teach you how to fix cars,”_

_Dean nodded while wiping his tears with the back of his hands._

_“Okay,” he whispered._

_“Say goodbye to your daddy Sam,” said Bobby ruffling Sammy’s hair. Bobby passed Sam to John. Sam hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek._

_“Bye daddy, buy me a toy when you come back, okay?” said Sam._

_“Of course Sammy,” said John smiling. He kissed the top of Sam’s head and then placed him on the ground next to Dean, “C’mon Dean, give your father a hug,” said John._

_Dean hugged him trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to start again._

_“I’m gonna make a deal with you son,” said John pushing Dean back a little so he could see his face._

_“What?” said Dean._

_“I’m going to leave my car here with Bobby,”_

_“But dad, you love your car,” said Dean with wide eyes._

_“Yes, but she’s been giving me problems lately, so I’m gonna leave her here and you’re gonna help your uncle fix her okay?”_

_Dean nodded._

_“Good, take care of that car Dean, one day she’s gonna be yours,” said John. Dean smiled; he really loved that car. John ruffled his hair and then climbed in an old truck._

  
_“Good bye kids, see you in a couple of months” he said, “thanks again Bobby,” said John._

_“No problem John, just take care of yourself and don’t forget to call the kids or send them letters,” said Bobby. John nodded and turned on the car. Dean held his brother’s hand while they watched their father leave._

_“C’mon kids, who wants some dessert?” asked Bobby._

_“Me,” said Sammy jumping with excitement._

_“What about you Dean?” asked Bobby. Dean just shook his head._

_“Oh, too bad,” said Bobby, “guess Sam and I will have to eat all that pie by ourselves,” Dean smiled,_

_“No way,” he said._

* * *

 

Dean woke up feeling empty, it had been a long time since he last dreamed about that day; he realized that Cas was sleeping next to him, he also noticed that he was holding Nik in his arms. He looked at the clock; it was 5:47. He got out of bed and walked out of the room. When he was in the hallway he saw a couple of suitcases and a backpack outside the room. He smiled, _‘thank God for Cas,’_ he thought. He went to the kitchen and realized that the coffeemaker was already programmed; he started it and decided to take a shower.

He was trying to ignore the pain and the sadness, he needed to concentrate and be ready for the trip, _‘c’mon Dean, you can cry all the way to Lawrence if you want, right now, you need to focus,’_ he thought before starting the water.

* * *

 

Cas woke up next to a small lump on his bed, it was Nik an apparently he was a little offended for being woken up at that hour in the morning.

“Sorry,” said Cas turning off his alarm.

Once the annoying noise of the alarm was off, Cas heard the sound of the shower. He got out of bed and walked to the kitchen, the coffee was ready, he poured some on Dean’s favorite mug and then walked towards the bathroom, the sound of the shower stopped and Cas stood outside the door, a minute later Dean opened it.

“Oh, hi Cas,” said Dean drying his hair. He was only wearing a pair of black boxer briefs.

“Hello Dean, I have your coffee,” said Cas offering the mug to Dean. Dean grabbed it and took a swig.

“Thanks,” he said with a sad smile, “umm and thanks for getting everything ready too, I really don’t know what I would do without you,” said Dean.

“It was nothing Dean, I just want to help you,”

“How much did you sleep?” asked Dean; he took another sip from his cup and walked towards their room, Cas followed him.

“Half an hour I think,” said Cas rubbing his eyes.

“What? Cas I’m sorry, I should’ve helped you,”

“Dean, it’s okay, I can sleep on the road,” said Cas. Dean threw his towel to a chair and walked towards the closet to find something to wear. Cas rolled his eyes and stretched the towel on the back of the chair. Nik barked on the bed as if he was asking them to let him sleep, he stood up and jumped down the bed, leaving clearly upset,

“Crap, I forgot about Nik,” said Dean.

“It’s fine, I already texted Gabriel, he’s going to take care of him while we’re gone. I left money on the kitchen counter so he can buy food for Nik. I also sent an email to Benny to let him know that I’m not in town,” said Cas. He walked towards the closet too and grabbed a comfortable pair of gray sweatpants from a drawer.

“I love you so much,” said Dean. Cas smiled and took off his pajama pants then he put on the sweatpants. Dean put on a pair of ratty old jeans. Cas grabbed a blue Henley and then put on a beanie, he wasn’t in the mood to have a fight with his messy hair.

“Do you want to eat something? Asked Cas.

“Not really,” answered Dean still looking for a shirt to wear.

“It’s okay, I made sandwiches for the road,” said Cas with a smile.

“Gosh, I love you,” said Dean planting a quick kiss on Cas’s lips.

“I love you too,” said Cas.

“Crap, I just remembered, I don’t even know if my suit is clean,” said Dean rushing to the other room.

“Everything’s in order Dean, I already packed our suits,” said Cas pulling Dean’s arm.

“You are the best boyfriend in the whole fucking world,” said Dean. He placed a kiss on Cas’s nose. They looked at each other for a couple of seconds. Cas could see the sadness in Dean’s eyes; he got closer to his boyfriend and kissed him. The kiss started slow, Dean could feel a sea of emotions in his mind, he was upset with his dad, he was sad, he was happy for having Cas with him, he was in love with Cas….

Dean deepened the kiss and placed his hands on Cas’s lower back. Cas moaned and placed his hands on Dean’s naked chest. Dean gave Cas a few kisses on the neck and then he returned to kissing his mouth, both were out of breath but they didn’t care.

“Hey Guys, hope you don’t mind that…OH MY GOD! I didn’t see anything, I swear!” they heard a female voice screaming. They stopped kissing and Dean turned around to find a very disturbed Charlie standing outside their room, she was covering her eyes.

“Charlie, what are you doing here?” asked Dean.

“Watching softcore gay porn apparently,” she said.

“We weren’t…” said Cas blushing.

“Hey man, whatever… it’s your room, you guys can do whatever you want,” she said uncovering her eyes. Cas walked away from Dean and sat on the bed. Dean cleared his throat and walked to the closet to grab a flannel shirt.

“You’re here early,” said Cas.

“I couldn’t go back to sleep after you called,” she said with a shrug, “anyway, is Bobby picking us up or are we going to his place?” she said.

“You coming with us?” asked Dean.

“Of course Dean, you guys are my family, I want to be there for you,” she said with a soft smile.

“Thanks Red,” said Dean walking towards her with his arm stretched.

“I’m not kissing you though,” she said.

Dean rolled his eyes and then hugged her.

* * *

 

They arrived at Bobby’s house at 7:20, he was busy talking to Garth on the phone to make sure that the guy would be able to take care of the garage.

Charlie, Cas and Dean sat at the living room waiting for Bobby to be ready.

“How are you feeling?” asked Cas sitting next to Dean on the couch.

“I don’t know… I mean, is not like I saw the guy everyday, he’s been out of my life for more than 15 years, but it still feels weird, I always thought that maybe something happened to him and that’s why he never came back… and today I found out that he was actually still alive but he died yesterday so it doesn’t matter anyway,” said Dean; Cas stretched his arm and used his thumb to wipe a tear on Dean’s cheek.

“You have all the right in the world to be upset Dean, this is a lot to take in,” said Cas. Dean nodded.

“I feel a lot of things, I don’t know man… this is so messed up, I’m about to go to the funeral of my father, a guy that I practically don’t know shit about… I… all my life I wondered you know like ‘what happened to dad?’ and now we’re about to find out and I’m not sure I want to know,” said Dean.

“Dean, we’ll be with you the whole time okay? You don’t have to go through this alone,” said Charlie sitting at the other side of Dean.

“Thanks Red,” he said.

Bobby walked into the living room,

“Sorry, was telling Garth all he needs to know to run the business, how you doing kid?” asked Bobby looking at Dean.

“I feel like I’m going to get that question a lot today,” said Dean.

“Probably…” said Bobby, “you ready to go?” he asked.

“I guess,” said Dean standing up. He handed the keys of his beloved car to Bobby; Bobby nodded and grabbed a suitcase that was on a chair on the living room. They walked out of the house; Charlie and Cas climbed on the back seat of Baby and Dean on the passenger seat. After putting his suitcase in the trunk Bobby took his place in the car too and began to drive.

The drive was quiet. Dean kept looking at Cas through the rearview; Cas kept sending him reassuring looks.

“Cas, you look tired,” said Charlie after a while.

“She’s right Cas, you should get some shut eye,” said Dean turning around on his seat.

“I’m fine,” said Cas.

“No way, you only slept like freaking half an hour after Bobby called this morning, you need to sleep or you’ll be cranky and tired later,” said Dean with a soft voice.

“Okay, you’re probably right… wake me up if you need me,” said Cas looking at Dean straight in the eye. Dean nodded and turned around again. Cas leaned against Charlie and after five minutes he was out.

“Why didn’t he sleep?” asked Bobby.

“He took care of everything, packing all our stuff, sending emails to his office, he even made snacks for the road,” said Dean.

“Wow, you must be very happy that you both fixed your shit,” said Bobby.

“I am, you have no idea,” said Dean. Charlie smiled knowing what Dean really meant. She got comfortable next to Cas and soon she was sleeping too.

* * *

Cas woke up a couple of hours later, his back hurt a little but he felt more relaxed after his nap, he was about to open his eyes when he heard Dean talking to Bobby.

“I never got to tell my dad that I’m bi, ” said Dean.

“I know,” said Bobby, “you were only a kid when he left, you didn’t know yet,”

“How do you think he would’ve reacted?” asked Dean.

“I don’t know Dean… I mean he was one of those guys who really believes in gender stereotypes, but you were his son, he would’ve understood I guess,” said Bobby with a shrug.

“Well, guess we’ll never know,” said Dean.

“Son, don’t beat yourself up for things that won’t happen,” said Bobby.

“It’s just…”

“Listen to me Dean, when Karen was alive i broke her heat telling her that I didn't want kids... I was scared and deep down I did want kids but I had a lot of shit going on in my mind...  We argued a lot, I was upset and scared, I drank a lot, let's just say that I was and idjit… and then one day they told us that she had cancer in a very advanced stage, I felt so stupid, I wasted all those years sulking about something so stupid instead of enjoying the time with my wife,” said Bobby. Dean stared at him with wide eyes; Bobby rarely spoke about Karen.

“Bobby I’m sorry,” said Dean.

“That’s in the past kid, I made sure our last months together were amazing, and even tough I was sad for a long time, eventually I ended up having two kids, ironic I guess,” said Bobby smiling, “my point here is, don’t fill your head with ‘what ifs,’ what’s in the past is in the past and if something isn’t meant to happen then it won’t,” said Bobby.

“Thanks Bobby,” said Dean. Cas sat up on that moment and stretched.

“What time is it?” he asked.

“Morning sleepyhead,” said Dean looking at him with love in his eyes, “9:27 you slept almost two hours, feeling better?”

“Yes, I’m a little hungry,” admitted Cas. Dean opened the paper bag with the sandwiches,

“Are these labeled? Oh my God!” Dean grabbed a sandwich with his name from the bag and then handed their sandwiches to Bobby and Cas. They all ate in a comfortable silence.

Half an hour later Cas fell asleep again. Charlie woke up a little after and she traded places with Dean so he could take a little nap (and cuddle with Cas).

* * *

When Dean opened his eyes he heard Cas, Charlie and Bobby having a conversation.

“There’s one a couple of blocks away from the cemetery,” said Charlie pointing at the screen of Cas’s phone. Dean sat up.

“What are you guys doing?” he asked.

“Looking for hotels,” said Charlie.

“Oh, I forgot about that,” he said.

“It’s okay Dean, I’m booking our rooms right now,” Said Cas. He began to type on the screen of his phone. After a few minutes he handed the phone to Charlie, “okay, it’s done, I activated the gps, it will tell us how to arrive to the hotel,” said Cas.

“Thanks for everything you’re doing Cas,” said Dean.

“You don’t have to thank me Dean,” Cas glanced at Bobby for a few seconds and then looked at his boyfriend again, “you know how important you and your family are to me,” he said with a smile.

Lawrence, Kansas appeared in front of them a couple of minutes later. Dean felt a little nostalgic, he couldn’t remember a lot about the place, but he still felt weird. Charlie called Sam after that but it went straight to voicemail, they were probably still in the plane. She sent him the address of the hotel in a text message.

A few minutes later they arrived to the hotel.

“Wow Cas, this shit looks fancy,” said Dean.

“Well there’s a ‘doctors convention’ going on in town so all hotels where booked, and you’re going to have a rough weekend, a little extra comfort wont hurt you… I’m taking care of all the expenses, so don’t worry about it Dean,”

“Cas, you don’t have to do this man,” said Dean.

“Yes I do, we can talk about this later, we need to get ready,”

Charlie and Cas went to do the check-in while Bobby and Dean took care of the luggage.

* * *

“This is our room,” said Cas sliding a card on an electronic sensor next to the doorknob. They all followed him inside; it was a huge suite.

“Cas, did you just got us a master suite?” Asked Dean.

“Yes, the four of us are sharing it; Jess and Sam have another room,” said Cas. The place looked like a fancy apartment, it was actually bigger than Cas and Dean’s apartment.

“I was thinking maybe the main room for Bobby and the other one for us three, it has two beds, so two of us would have to share,” said Cas.

“Yeah, it’s fine for me,” said Dean. Everyone agreed.

“Well kids, I’m gonna call the guys at the funeral home and then take a shower,” said Bobby walking towards his assigned room “wow, it has a King,” they heard him say.

Right in that moment Dean’s phone went off; he grabbed it and saw Sam’s name on the screen,

“Hi Sammy,” said Dean.

“Hi Dean, umm... we’re at the reception, where are you?” asked Sam.

“Oh, we’re in our room already, wait there, we’ll go downstairs to give you your key,” Dean hanged up and stretched his hand to ask Cas for the key.

“I’ll go with you,” said Cas.

“Charlie, you coming?” asked Dean.

“No, you two lovebirds go, I’ll take a shower too,” she walked to the other room.

Cas smiled to Dean and they walked out of the room.

“Cas, thanks for everything, I promise I’ll…”

“If you say you’ll pay me you’re not sharing a bed with me tonight Dean Winchester,” said Cas rolling his eyes.

“But Cas, this place looks fucking expensive,” said Dean while they walked towards the elevator.

“Dean, if I couldn’t afford this I wouldn’t have chosen this hotel, it’s fine… you can pay me with massages and homemade pizza if you want,” said Cas.

“We’re not done with this talk, okay?” Said Dean when the doors of the elevator opened and they saw Sam and Jess standing in the reception.

“Hey guys,” said Dean. The brothers hugged for almost a minute without saying a single word. When they finally ended the hug Dean ruffled Sam’s hair.

“I feel weird, I know I’m supposed to be sad, and I am sad but… I don’t know I guess you can’t miss someone that was never there,” said Sam.

“Yeah,” said Dean, “c’mon, we’ll take you to your room”. Jess and Sam followed them.

“Do you know anything about the funeral?” asked Jess.

“No, Bobby was talking to the guys from the funeral home when you called, I’ll ask him when we’re upstairs,” said Dean.

* * *

“I can’t believe your dad,” said Bobby walking out of his room. 

“What happened?” asked Dean. He was unpacking his things waiting his turn to take a shower.

“Turns out the man didn’t want people to make a big deal when he died, he left everything settled and ready with the guy from the funeral home, so no mass or any kind of religious ceremony and no funeral, apparently he told the guy that as soon as he died he wanted them to put him in a box and burry him next to Mary,” said Bobby rolling his eyes.

“Wow,” said Dean.

“Yeah…it does sound like your dad, to be honest,” said Bobby.

“So what now?” asked Charlie, she was combing her hair sitting on her bed.

“Well, they’re burying him today at 4 pm,” said Bobby.

“What the fuck man? We don’t even know what happened to him…well I guess that’s what dad does,” said Dean clearly upset.

“I talked to his friends too, the ones who… um, found him. Apparently John was working at one of those fancy country clubs… it happened there, the guys are going to the cemetery today, so we can talk to them then,” said Bobby.

“This is a fucking nightmare,” said Dean pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I’m sorry this happened son,” said Bobby.

“It’s okay, I just… I need a shower,” said Dean sitting on his bed.

“You can use the one in my room, I’ll go downstairs to talk to Sam,” said Bobby.

“Okay, thanks Bobby.” Bobby left the room and Dean just sat there staring at the wall for a couple of minutes.

“You okay Dean?” Asked Charlie.

“I don’t know anymore, this is a lot of shit, I just want this to be over,” he said rubbing his eyes.

* * *

They arrived to the cemetery at 3:45 pm. The place was empty. The coffin was already there, Dean could see that behind it there was a gravestone but he couldn’t read what it said. They waited a few more minutes, at the end, the only attendants were the six of them, a pastor and his dad’s two friends. The pastor introduced himself to Dean and Sam, he told him that he was an old friend of their dad, pastor Jim, he knew that John didn’t want a religious ceremony, but he asked them permission to say a few words and give him a proper goodbye, they said it was okay.

They gathered around the coffin,

“Today we’re here to say our last goodbye to our dear friend John Winchester,” said Pastor Jim, “I knew John since we were kids, he was a nice man, a great husband and an excellent father, unfortunately he was never the same after Mary was called to the reign of heaven, he lost the path and not only hurt himself in the process but also his beloved sons. Today I say to you my dear friend, I forgive you; and I invite all of you to do the same, I know forgiveness can be hard, but don’t think about this John, think about John the good father, husband and friend… and find in your heart the strength to forgive him.”

Cas looked at his left and saw that next to him his boyfriend was crying in silence, he didn’t care if anyone was looking, he took his hand. Charlie, Jess and Sam were crying too. The people from the cemetery lowered the coffin and buried it. The whole thing didn’t last more than an hour. Pastor Jim said goodbye to everybody and he was the first to leave.

John’s friends left right after that; they gave their address and phone to Bobby,

“ Give us a call tomorrow,” said one of them, “we can give you all the stuff he had, it wasn’t much but well, you know… and we can talk about what happened,”

“Okay, thanks again for everything,” said Bobby, “we’ll call you tomorrow morning guys,” They shook hands with Bobby and left. Bobby turned around and saw his family in the distance: Dean and Cas were talking next to a tree; Charlie and Jess were next to Sam, standing in front of his parents’ gravestones. Bobby took a deep breath and walked towards them.

* * *

“I wish you’d known them,” said Dean leaning on a tree; he was looking at Bobby talking to his dad’s friends, they were a little far.

“Yes, me too,” said Cas.

“It sucks, you know? I never got to come out to any of them, mom died when I was a kid and dad left before I even knew, I just… sometimes I wonder what it would have been like… dad would’ve probably kicked my ass,” said Dean with a chuckle, “but I just… it would’ve been awesome to come home one day and say ‘mom, dad, this is Cas, my boyfriend,’ but well, some things are never meant to happen,” Cas hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

“I’m so sorry about that Dean, if I could fix it, I would,” he said.

“It’s okay Cas, I mean, if I still had my parents, if I had grown up with them, I would’ve never met you, I would’ve grown up here and not back in Sioux falls,” said Dean.

“That’s not true, you’re the love of my life, we were meant to be together, you would have gone to visit your uncle Bobby sometimes and then met his neighbors and fall in love with the youngest one,” said Cas.

“I love you,” said Dean with a smile.

“Kids, come here!” they heard Bobby yelling.

“C’mon, lets go,” said Dean. They walked side by side until they reached the others.

“Okay, I thought about what the pastor said and he was right, we should say a few words to your father,” said Bobby once they were all standing in front of the Winchester’s gravestones, “I’m gonna start… John, you were a good friend to me, you were there when I lost Karen and even though I think a big part of you died the same day Mary did and you were never the same guy, I’ll always be grateful with you for giving me the best thing that’s ever happened to me… I promised you a long time ago that I would take care of this two idjits, and I’m keeping that promise old friend, I hope you finally found peace and that you’re now in heaven resting next to your beautiful wife,” said Bobby.

Charlie and Jess started to sob again at that point. Sam gave a step forward and cleared his throat,

“Dad, I… I forgive you, to be honest I can barely remember you, but I want to thank you, you couldn’t give me the life you thought I deserved but you left me with someone who could, I um… thanks, really…” Jess hugged him and Sam just stared at his father’s grave.

“Dean?” asked Bobby.

“Okay… I… I guess I forgive you too, Sam’s right, we’ve had a good life thanks to you, I wish you would’ve called sometimes or just like send a letter and let us know that you were fine, but I guess it doesn’t matter now… I kept the car, I mean, you said that it would be mine some day if I helped Bobby fix it, so yeah…” said Dean, he had to stop talking because he became a sobbing mess. Charlie hugged him. Cas took a deep breath and looked at everyone around him, this was his family, he loved them and he knew they loved him… he gave a step forward and talked too.

“I want to say something too,” he said. Everyone looked at him.

“Hello Mr. and Mrs. Winchester… I, I never knew you but I’ve heard a lot about you, I know everyone must be wondering why did I decide to talk… I umm, I just want to tank you because you gave me two of the best friends in the world, I didn’t have friends until I met Sam and Dean, thanks to them I survived school,” said Cas with a chuckle, he started scratching his left hand,

“Cas, what are you doing?” asked Dean.

“Just, let me finish Dean,” he said,

“I’m also about to sound very selfish, but John, I want to thank you because all those years ago you left your sons at my neighbor’s house… thanks to the tragic series of events that led you to make that decision… I met the love of my life, and I’ll always be grateful for that,” everyone was looking at him like he had grown another head. Dean looked at him with love in his eyes and Cas took his hand and nodded; Dean kissed his forehead and then he spoke,

“Mom, dad, this is Cas, my boyfriend,” said Dean with a smile.

* * *

“Wow… just wow,” said Sam. They were driving back to the hotel. Sam was on the front seat of the car with Jess; Bobby was driving. On the back seat Cas was sitting between his boyfriend and Charlie, he started to scratch his left hand again,

“For the love of God Sammy, would you just drop it, this isn’t the time,” said Dean placing his hand over Cas’s to stop him from scratching.

“I’m sorry… it’s just… a month and a half, really?” asked the youngest Winchester.

“Yes,” said Dean and Cas at the same time.

“Well, I’m happy for you two kids,” said Bobby,

“But I thought you were asexual or aromantic or something like that Cas,” said Jess.

“Technically, I never used any of those words to define myself, people just assumed,” he said; Sam raised his eyebrows,

“Fuck, you’re right,” he said, “but, then why did…?”

“It’s a long story Sam, I don’t feel ready to share it, but lets just say that a few things that happened in my childhood led me to believe that I wasn’t worth being loved, because of my Asperger’s,” said Cas. Dean intertwined his fingers with Cas’s.

“And what made you change your mind?” asked Jess.

“Dean confessed his feelings for me, and it just happened,” said Cas blushing.

“What?” asked Sam. Jess started to laugh,

“I knew it… Pay me Winchester,” she said.

“Did you make a bet on my feelings for Cas?” asked Dean pretending to be offended.

“Yes, after Christmas break, I’m sorry Dean, but the way you looked at Cas… I knew it… I was sure that you would confess your feelings before summer,”

“Man, Dean couldn’t you wait a few months to tell Cas that you like him?” asked Sam handing Jess a 50.

“Oh no Sammy, I don’t just like him… he’s the fucking love of my life man…” said Dean with a huge smile. Cas buried his face on Dean’s chest.

* * *

When they arrived to the hotel they all went to the master suite to hang out. They played poker and had a nice time, Bobby told them a few stories of his youth with John; they cried and laughed. Eventually they decided to go to bed; they needed to be up early to pick up John’s stuff.

Dean and Cas slept holding each other. Dean feeling worried and scared of what he could find out about his father’s life the next day. Cas still a little shaken after his confession.

* * *

The next morning, after a nice breakfast at the hotel, they called John’s friends and then headed to the address they’ve given Bobby. It turned out the address was the same of the country club where John worked. It really was a fancy place. Apparently the place required a few workers to live there. John shared a small bungalow with his two friends Mark and Rob.

“He was basically a handyman, in charge of mechanical maintenance of the golf carts most of the times, but he would also take care of problems with electricity and the machines at the gym,” said Mark. The group was sitting in a small living room on the first floor of the bungalow.

“He was really good at his job but, the thing is… well, he liked to drink a lot,” said Rob.

“Sounds like John,” said Bobby.

“So what happened? Asked Sam,

“Well, that night he had a lot to drink, we would usually join him for a couple of beers but that night, man… he was unstoppable… we went to bed because well, I’m the gardener and Rob here is in charge of the valet parking, so we have to be up early… when I woke up next morning I found a post-it in the kitchen, it said that he had gone for a swim because he was bored. We thought that he would be already in bed, his room was the only one downstairs, so I went outside to turn on the sprinklers… you have to walk by the pool to go to the controls… and well, that’s when I saw him, he was floating in the pool… I jumped and pulled him out but it was too late, oh my God…” Everyone but Bobby and Cas, were in tears at that point. Mark had been the one to call Bobby; he had told him the basics, just that John had decided to go for a swim while he was drunk, but hearing the story like that was a big shock.

“He drowned in the middle of the night,” said Rob between sobs, “man, he was a nice guy, a little cranky and scary, but a nice guy, he didn’t deserve to go like that,”

“So he died on Wednesday, then?” asked Bobby,

“Umm, yeah, we found him Wednesday morning, but we didn’t find your number until yesterday at 2:30 am… sometimes when he got really drunk he would say that he knew that he would die alone, that he didn’t deserve his sons because he was an alcoholic and well, a lot of sad stuff like that… but the point is that he would say sometimes ‘guys, when I die I want you to call Bobby and let him know,’ so after he died and well the whole drama with the forensics and all that, we started looking in his stuff to try to find your number, we spent like five hours looking, we finally found your card in one of his drawers, that’s why we called you that late,” said Mark,

“And did you talk with the guys from the funeral home?”

“Yeah, we called but they said that there wouldn’t be a funeral or a mass, just the burial, the guy said that he made that agreement with John a few months ago,” said Mark

“God, do you think he killed himself?” asked Sam.

“No, he didn’t, he used to say that he wanted his life to end but he couldn’t do it because he would disappoint Mary again and that he couldn’t do that,” answered Rob.

“This is a mess,” said Bobby.

“I think he talked to the guy from the funeral place when he came back to Lawrence, like he came back to his hometown and he wanted to make sure that everything was in order in case something happened,” said Rob.

“What do you mean that he came back? Where did he live before?” asked Dean,

“ He moved back to Lawrence 7 months ago, he was living in Arkansas before, and I think he once said that he lived in Maine before that… he moved a lot apparently,” said Rob.

"He once told me he even lived in Mexico for almost a year, he worked driving a truck for a while," 

"wow," said Sam.

“Did he ever talk about us?” asked Dean. Cas held his hand.

“Yes, he missed you, he had a picture of you guys in his wallet, he would look at it all the time,” said Mark, “you can probably find it in his room, that door next to the kitchen, you can take everything with you, he didn’t have a lot because he was always moving, but well, all that’s there is yours guys,”

“Thanks, can we?” Dean pointed at the door,

“Yeah, sure, go ahead… we have to go see the club’s manager, in like ten minutes, but you can stay as long as you want and take all of his stuff, just close the door when you leave,” Said Mark, “oh, and we left a folder with the um... death certificate and all that shit,”

“Thanks for everything,” said Sam. They all stood up and walked towards the room. It was small, and Mark was right, he didn’t have many things, a couple of framed pictures next to his small bed, a lot of empty bottles and a few books. Rob gave Sam a couple of boxes to put everything in it then they said goodbye and left to meet with the manager of the club.

Jess and Charlie gathered all the clothes from the small closet and began to fold them. Bobby threw away all the empty bottles; Sam opened the drawers from the dresser and took care of everything he found there. Cas and Dean took care of the only bedside table; it had three drawers. After an hour they had everything packed and ready to go. It was weird, Dean felt like he was going through the stuff of a perfect stranger.

Dean folded the blankets from the bed and then grabbed the pillow to put it over the bunch of folded blankets and then he saw it, under the pillow, there was a leather notebook. He picked it up and opened it,

“What is it?” asked Cas.

“Son of a bitch, I found dad’s journal,” said Dean. He sat on the table and stared at the book with a mix of emotions; Cas sat next to him and held his hand; Dean leaned his head on Cas’s shoulder and Cas kissed the top of his head. The rest of the group observed the interaction.

“Are you okay?” asked Cas.

“I don’t know if I want to read this,” said Dean. Cas took it from his hands,

“Then wait until you're ready, maybe it’s not the time yet,” said Cas.

“You’re right,” said Dean.

“Oh my God, you two are so cute,” said Jess. Dean smiled.

“Sorry, forgot we had public… Sammy do you want this?” asked Dean.

“Not really, I think you need it more than I do, I mean… I know he was my dad and that he loved me, but I can barely remember him, but you, you were eight when he left, and I know it was harder for you, so you can keep it, I don’t need it, really… I’m not the one looking for answers, I want this picture though,” he said grabbing a framed picture from one of the boxes; on the photo was Mary holding a baby in her arms. The baby was wrapped in a blue blanket and behind them there was a big sign that said ‘Welcome home Mary and Sammy.’

“Sam, that’s you,” said Jess grabbing the picture.

“Yeah, I think that’s the day they brought me home from the hospital,” said Sam.

“You were so beautiful,” said Jess.

“Yeah Sammy, what happened to you?” asked Dean with a smirk.

“Jerk,”

“Bitch,”

* * *

 

The rest of the day passed pretty fast, Dean kept holding his father’s journal and wondering if he should read it or not. He went to bed that day worried of what he might find inside that journal.

_Dean was sitting at the table in his mom’s kitchen._

_“What are you doing Dean?” asked John taking away the scissors from Dean’s hand._

_“I want to make a shirt for my brother,” said Dean._

_“With your clothes?” asked Mary smiling._

_“Yes, I heard you telling daddy we don’t have money and that the baby needs a lot of things like diapers and milk and, and clothes… and I don’t know how to make diapers or milk but I can cut my shirts and make clothes for the baby,” explained Dean to his parents._

_“Gosh, Dean… you don’t have to do this, we don’t have a lot of money but we still can afford to buy things for the baby, okay?”_

_“Okay, but umm, even toys? Because toys are ex... exp... you need lots of money to buy toys, but If you want I can ask Santa and tell him to bring me toys for my brother because my brother is in your tummy and he can’t talk to Santa yet,” said Dean. Mary hugged him and kissed his cheek,_

_“You’re going to be an excellent big brother Dean,” she said._

_“Don’t worry about this things Dean, I’m getting another job so we can have more money, you’re going to have to help mom a lot around the house with the baby though, is that fine?” asked John ruffling Dean’s long hair._

_“Okay, I'll help with the baby,” said Dean. He turned around and he was no longer in the kitchen, now he was in his parents' room, he heard a baby crying and when he turned to his left he saw baby Sammy on the bed, the baby was fussing._

_“Sammy?” asked Dean, “Don’t cry Sammy, I’ll get mom… I’ll be right back,” he said. He ran out of the room and walked towards the hallway, suddenly it was pretty dark; he heard a scream then._

_“Dean,” said John; Dean turned around and saw John carrying Sammy. He knew exactly what this was, it was the day of the fire, only that he wasn’t a kid anymore, he was tall, a little taller than his father, but Sam was still a baby; he knew what would happen next, everything was happening in slow motion, it was too much…_

* * *

 

Dean opened his eyes and sat up right away, he was sweating and breathing really fast.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” asked Cas. Dean started to sob and Cas hugged him.

“Nightmare,” whispered Dean. Cas patted him on the back and kept holding him.

“Shh, shh… everything is fine Dean, you’re here, with me, it was a dream… you’re here… I love you,” said Cas.

“It was so real Cas, I saw the day of the fire… I…” Cas held him closer and began to rock him like a baby. After a while Dean calmed down enough to talk,

“Thanks for being here for me Cas,” he whispered remembering that Charlie was sleeping on the bed next to them.

“Well, you’re the love of my life Dean, so I’m always going to be here for you,” said Cas as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I love it when you say that,” said Dean with a smile.

“What?”

“That I’m the love of your life,”

“Well, you are, I’m never going to love another person, and I don’t want to… I don’t need to either, because I plan to spend the rest of my life with you,” said Cas.

Dean smiled and leaned back on the mattress,

“Can you hold me tonight?” asked Dean.

“Of course Dean,” said Cas.

That night, Cas held his boyfriend until they fell asleep again.

* * *

 

The next morning they dropped Sam and Jess at the airport after breakfast. It was a Saturday but Sam had a test to study for.

“Are you sure that’s all you want to keep?” asked Dean pointing at the books Sam was holding.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” said Sam.

“Okay then, goodbye Sammy, take care and I hope you come and visit us soon,” said Dean.

“Bye Dean, it was nice seeing you despite de circumstances, I’m happy for you and Cas,” said Sam. Dean smiled and hugged his brother.

“Goodbye Cas,” said Jess, “take care, okay? And take care of Dean,”

“Yes, of course, I hope to see you soon Jess, say hi to Eddie and Balt from me,” said Cas.

“Good bye guys,” said Charlie, “hope to see you soon,”

“You too said Jess,”

“Thanks for everything Bobby,” said Sam.

“Anytime, son,” said Bobby. After the long goodbye and the hugs and good wishes, Dean, Cas, Bobby and Charlie drove back home. This time Dean drove and Cas sat next to him on the front seat. Charlie and Bobby shared the back seat.

“Does this means that I’m officially being send to the back seat for the rest of my days?” Asked Bobby.

“That’s how it works Bobby, I didn’t make the rules, you get sent to the backseat, my room turns into our studio and Charlie gets promoted to Cas’ best friend,” said Dean with a smile, “or you could sit next to me but you would have to risk it because I would probably spend the whole time looking at Cas through the rearview,”

“Good point,” said Bobby. They kept driving in silence; Dean still wasn’t in the mood to play music in his stereo. Eventually Bobby talked again,

“Dean, I know you’re going to rest tomorrow and you could probably go back to work on Monday but I want you to take at least a couple of days off, okay? And I don’t want you to argue with me,” he said.

“Oh Bobby, c’mon at least with work I get to distract myself and I don’t have to think about what happened to dad,” said Dean.

“I don’t care, last time you tried to do that you ended up all moody and the guys in the garage were scared of you,” said Bobby.

“You should listen to Bobby Dean, I’m sure I can arrange things to work from home and stay with you,” said Cas.

“Okay,” said Dean rolling his eyes.

“Good,” said Bobby.

“Cas?” asked Charlie.

“Yes?”

“I was thinking, now that you told everyone in the Singer-Winchester clan about your relationship with Dean, when are you going to tell your family?”

“Wait, Chuck doesn’t know?” asked Bobby.

“No, he doesn’t, I think I’ll tell him tomorrow,” said Cas.

“It’s going to be fine kid, Chuck loves you two, and he wants you to be happy,” said Bobby.

“You’re probably right, the day I told him that I’m gay he acted really nice, and Gabriel too… I still need to tell Michael though,” said Cas closing his eyes.

“I would pay big money to see his face,” said Charlie.

“I’ll tell him the next time he visits, hopefully he’ll bring Jill with him, she can control him,” said Cas.

“That girl’s doing miracles with your brother,” said Bobby.

“I know, he really loves her and is willing to become a better person to be with her, I actually think is sweet,”

“You think they’ll get married?” asked Charlie.

“I think it’s too soon to tell, they’ve only been dating since October, but I hope they do,” said Cas.

“Yeah, Jill is pretty awesome,” said Charlie.

They kept chatting for a while, Cas told Bobby about his progress with the graphic novel, and Charlie said that Cas was doing great job as head of the design department. Bobby told them about the progress of the garage and for a moment everything was fine, Dean felt happy and even though he still could feel the pain of losing his father, and his mind was crowded with a lot of questions, he allowed himself to enjoy the moment.

 

* * *

 

That night, back in the apartment Cas cooked a nice dinner for Dean. They ate in a comfortable silence and then watched a movie together. Cas called his dad to inform him that they were back and that they would be visiting the next day. Chuck sent him a couple of pictures of Nik in his office and Gabe promised that he would cook the ribs with Taylor’s grandma recipe again (Cas realized that he hadn’t try them the last time).

After the phone call, they finally went to bed,

“I’m so proud of you,” said Dean lying on top of Cas, he placed a couple of kisses on his jawline.

“Why?” asked Cas, lifting his head to give Dean better access.

“What you did in the cemetery, what you said to my parents,” he placed another kiss, “in front of everyone and I know you were scared but you did it,” he kissed his neck now, “because I told you that I would’ve loved to introduce you to my parents, that was sweet,” said Dean.

“I just wanted to make you happy,” said Cas.

“Well you did,” said Dean before kissing Cas’s lips. Cas kissed him back, but after a few minutes when he felt that things were starting to heat up, he got scared again and pushed Dean a little.

“We should sleep, I’m really tired and we have a lot of things to do tomorrow,” said Cas trying to recover his breath. Dean closed his eyes and rolled over to the right side of the bed.

“Yeah, you’re right, big day tomorrow,” he said finally.

“I love you Dean,” said Cas.

The air between them became a little awkward, Cas turned around, his back facing Dean. Dean just remained there, staring at the ceiling; eventually he turned around and hugged Cas.

“I love you too Cas,” answered Dean.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was chapter 26, i hope you liked it, i know it was sad but that's how life works, the 'happily ever after' doesn't come as easy as in fairy tales.
> 
> I already started the next chapter, it's not finished yet but i'm working on it on my free time. 
> 
> Here's a little preview:
> 
>  
> 
> “I can’t do this,” said Cas.
> 
> “What?” Asked Dean.
> 
> “I can’t tell my dad, I’m too nervous… I’m not ready… what if he doesn’t approve of this, we’re finally getting along an I…” 
> 
> “Cas, you need to breath,” said Dean placing a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder.
> 
> “Sorry, I don’t know what happened,” 
> 
> “Cas, if you don’t want to tell them is fine, I told you before, no pressure, really all I want is for you to be happy, I love you,” said Dean.
> 
> “I really want to tell them, I don’t know why, I get so nervous, it’s ridiculous they already know I’m gay and they don’t care,” said Cas.
> 
> “We’ll tell them whenever you’re ready,” said Dean.
> 
> “Thank you,” said Cas,” he kissed his boyfriend’s lips, “I love you.” Dean smiled at him.
> 
> “And I really hope Dean doesn’t answer ‘I know’ because that would really be a cliché,” said Gabe leaning on the doorframe, Chuck was standing next to him. Dean and Cas looked at them in shock,
> 
> “Fuck! Dad I… how much of that did you see?” asked Cas blushing.


	27. But the wild things cried ‘Oh, please don't go'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is finally comfortable with telling other people about his relationship with Dean. We see the aftermath of John's death. Dean is struggling but luckily Cas is by his side to help him. A little angst, a little fluff, some happiness and some sadness, because that's how life works.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm finally back, it took me longer than I expected, but I finally was able to upload. 
> 
> Remember i don't have a beta and English isn't my first language so i apologize for any mistake. 
> 
> Warnings in this chapter:
> 
> Depression. Implied homophobia.

 

* * *

 

Cas opened the door of Chuck’s house and he could immediately identify a sound he loved, his little dog running towards him.

“Nikola Tesla!” said Cas ducking so he could hug his pet. The dog jumped and licked his owner’s face, “oh I missed you boy,” said Cas, he picked the dog from the floor and carried him in his arms.

“Hey Nik, did you miss us, boy?” Asked Dean petting the dog.

“Sorry to break your hearts but he didn’t,” they heard Gabe’s voice, he was coming from the kitchen, “Little Nik here, is obsessed with dad,”

“Really?” asked Dean.

“Yeah, it’s kinda funny,” said Gabe, “anyway, how was your trip, you came back sooner than we expected,”

“It was fine I guess, apparently my father talked to the guy from the funeral home a long time ago and told him that he practically wanted to be buried as soon as he died, no ceremony… so we basically buried him the day we arrived,” said Dean. They followed Gabe into the living room.

“I’m sorry about your dad, Dean,” said Gabe.

“Thanks man,” answered Dean. He sat next to Cas on the couch.

 

“Gabe! Have you seen Nikola Tesla?” came a voice from another room, Chuck walked into the living room a few seconds later.  
  
“Oh, hi guys, is it noon already?” asked Chuck.

“Yeah,” said Gabe, “oh crap, that reminds me, I need to take the ribs out of the freezer and put some water to boil,” said Gabe running to the kitchen.

“Sorry, Umm… oh, hi Dean, I heard about your dad, I’m sorry about it,” said Chuck.

“Thanks Chuck,”

“How are you doing?” asked Chuck sitting in front of Dean and Cas.

“I’m fine, I guess… a lot to process,” said Dean with a shrug.

“Yes, i can imagine... How about you Cas, how’ve you been,”

“I’m fine,” said Cas.

“Good, I just talked to my agent, she loved what I sent her about the graphic novels,” said Chuck.

“Really?” asked Cas with a big smile,

“Yes, I think we can set an appointment with the publishing company for next month,” said Chuck.

“Great, just let me know the exact date as soon as you know, so I can organize my work at Kraken,” said Cas.

“Look at you, you’re a total business man Cas,” said Dean with a big smile. Cas smiled back at him.  
  
“He’s right,” said Chuck, “I think we can actually set a date, let me just get my phone, I think I left it in my office, I’ll be right back,” said Chuck standing up. Nik began to squirm on Cas’s arms so he placed him on the floor and the little dog followed Chuck right away.

“Wow, Gabe’s right,” said Dean with a chuckle.

“I can’t do this,” said Cas.

“What?” Asked Dean looking at his boyfriend.

“I can’t tell my dad, I’m too nervous… I’m not ready… what if he doesn’t approve of this, we’re finally getting along an I…”

“Cas, you need to breath,” said Dean placing a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Sorry, I don’t know what happened,”

“Cas, if you don’t want to tell them it's fine, I told you before, no pressure, really all I want is for you to be happy, I love you,” said Dean.

“I really want to tell them, I don’t know why I get so nervous, it’s ridiculous they already know I’m gay and they don’t care,” said Cas.

“We’ll tell them whenever you’re ready,” said Dean.

“Thank you,” said Cas,” he kissed his boyfriend’s lips, “I love you.” Dean smiled at him.

“And I really hope Dean doesn’t answer ‘I know’ because that would really be a cliché,” said Gabe leaning on the doorframe, Chuck was standing next to him. Dean and Cas looked at them in shock,

“Fuck! Dad I… how much of that did you see?” asked Cas blushing. Chuck and Gabe sat in front of them.

“Just the part where you were scared of telling us about your feelings for Dean,” said Chuck casually.

“I’m sorry dad, you weren’t supposed to find out like that… why can’t I ever tell you something important in my life like a normal human being?” said Cas pinching the bridge of his nose.

“It’s okay son, I can pretend that I didn’t hear that and you can tell me,” said Chuck with a smile.

“Okay,” said Cas, he took a deep breath, “Dad… Dean is my boyfriend,”

“I’m happy for you son, for both of you actually,” said Chuck with a smile.

“Really?” asked Cas.

“Yes, I’ve known Dean since he was a kid, I know he’s a good person and that he really cares about you; he’s the person who knows you the most in this world Castiel, of course I’m happy that you two are together,” said Chuck.

 “Thanks Dad,” said Cas with a smile.

“Congratulations little bro,” said Gabe, “Dean-o, I hope you know that if you ever hurt my little brother, I’ll kill you, cut you into pieces and then bake a bunch of mini pies with your meat while I sing the whole soundtrack of ‘Sweeney Todd’, right?” said Gabe.

“Talking about clichés,” said Dean rolling his eyes. “But really, Chuck, Gabe… I do love Cas with all my heart, I’ve loved him since we were kids and for me, this is it, Cas is the one, he’s the love of my life and I still can’t believe that he loves me back, I’m so lucky,”

“I’m glad to hear that,” said Chuck.

They changed the subject soon after that, everything went back to normal, and Cas couldn’t be happier, his family was okay with his relationship with Dean.

 

* * *

After a while Cas and Chuck went to Chuck’s office to talk about their project; Dean decided to join Gabe in the kitchen instead. Dean helped Gabe to prepare the sauce for the ribs and they also baked a pie. After everything was ready, they went to the backyard to get the grill started.

“So yeah, then he asked me to move back to the apartment and a couple of days later I was back,”

“Cauliflower, really?” Asked Gabe.

“What can I say? Your brother is a romantic,” said Dean opening a charcoal bag.

“I still can’t believe that you’re banging my little bro, man… two months ago he was ‘little Mr. I don’t like people,’ and now…” said Gabe.

“Well, technically I’m not… I’m not banging your brother,” said Dean, he didn’t know why he’d say that.

“What? Is he banging you? My, my… Winchester,” said Gabe. Dean blushed.

“Nobody is banging nobody, okay?” said Dean rolling his eyes.

“Why?” asked Gabe.

“Because he doesn’t want to, I’m just giving him his space, I’m not with him because I want something physical … to be honest I don’t care about it, I love him and he loves me, if I have to spend the rest of my life with just the help of my hand, I really don’t care, as long as I’m with him,”

“Wow, you really love him,” said Gabe.

“Yeah, I do,” answered Dean.

* * *

Once the ribs were ready they had a nice meal on the backyard, Chuck told them about his future plans for his books and Gabe talked about a weird client he had at the bakery the previous week.

“Oh my God, Gabe those Ribs were incredible,” said Dean after his third round of ribs.

“Remember we also have pie Dean-o,” said Gabe.

“Oh, you’re right, better save space for that one too,” said Dean rubbing his stomach.

“You’re a pig,” said Cas rolling his eyes.

“Well, you’re in love with a pig then,” said Dean sticking his tongue.

“Aww… you’re so cute,” said Gabe. Dean and Cas rolled their eyes.

“Gabe, do we have ice cream to go with that pie?” asked Chuck.

“No, I accidently ate it all yesterday,” said Gabe.

“Hmmm…”

“Want me to go buy some more?”

“You know what? Yes,” said Chuck with a smirk.

“Dad, you were supposed to say 'no' and thank me for being such a nice son for offering myself to go,” said Gabe sounding like a child,

“And you were supposed to share that ice cream with everyone in this house but you didn’t,” said Chuck.

“Okay, I’ll go… but I’m taking your car,” said Gabe standing up.

“Great, take a responsible adult with you… Cas, can you join your brother, please?”

“Yes dad,” said Cas with a smile. He stood up and followed Gabe inside the house.

“Did you just trick your sons so you could have ‘the talk’ with me?” asked Dean sitting up straight.

“You’re smart Dean,” said Chuck.

“Okay, shoot,”

“You know? For years, I’ve treated my son like a child, I must admit that I was scared… I still am, and that led me to act like he was something that could break… but you Dean, you and your family always treated him like a normal kid, and I’m really thankful for that. I’ve been seeing him grow up and mature so much since you convinced him, and me of course, that he needed to go to college… he’s an adult now Dean, so capable and brilliant, it’s weird… I feel like I went to sleep and said goodnight to my 12 year old son and the next morning he was 24, but it’s also amazing, we’re getting along now, and we have a lot in common, I would dare to say that he’s happy, and I need to thank you for that,” said Chuck.

“You don’t need to thank me Chuck, all I want is for him to be happy, I really love him,” said Dean.

“I know this can be hard sometimes, I mean, you’ve been around him basically your whole life and in the toughest moments of his life, I just want to ask you to be patient Dean… and well, here goes the generic question of ‘the talk’ I guess, what are your intentions with my son?” asked Chuck.

“Well, we’re taking things a little slow, I mean, as slow as you can take things when you’ve been in love your whole life and living together for five years… he’s adapting, we’re creating new routines around the changes in our relationship, but eventually, yeah… I would love to marry him, if he wants of course.” Chuck nodded.

“Have you talked about this?” he asked,

“Not really, I think it’s implied, I’m always telling him that he’s the one, that he’s the love of my life and that I’m spending the rest of my life with him, and well, he says the same thing, that he wants us to be together forever,” explained Dean, he felt a little weird telling that to his boyfriend’s dad.

“Okay, thanks for being honest with me Dean,” said Chuck.

“Thanks for trusting me,” answered Dean. They sat in silence for a while.

* * *

“I had a great time with your family Cas,” said Dean on their way back to the apartment.

“Yes, me too… I’m really happy that they’re okay with us being together,” said Cas,

“Your dad talked to me when you went to get the ice cream,” said Dean.

“I know,”

“What?”

“It was a little obvious really, he doesn’t like ice cream that much… what did he say?”

“Well, he literally asked me ‘what are your intentions with my son?’” said Dean.

“And what did you answer?”

“Well the truth, that I need a new kidney and that yours are in perfect conditions,” said Dean with a smirk, “no but really, I told him that you’re the one for me and that he doesn’t have to worry,”

“Was he worried?” asked Cas squinting his eyes.

“Of course Cas, he’s your dad, dads are always worried about their kids,” said Dean; his words made him think about his father.

“Dean?” asked Cas.

“Umm… sorry, what?” asked Dean shaking his head.

“The light changed to green,” said Cas pointing at the traffic lights; Dean stepped on the gas and focused again on the road.

“Oh right, sorry… I zoned out a little,” he apologized.

“Yes, I noticed,”

“I was thinking about my dad, I’m going to read his journal,” said Dean.

“I’m glad you made a decision Dean,” said Cas holding his hand.

* * *

 

Dean sat at the kitchen table with the journal in front of him; he took a deep breath and a swig from the tea Cas had prepared for him.

  
“I’m going to bed, I have to go to Kraken tomorrow,” said Cas kissing Dean’s head.

“Thought you would be staying with me tomorrow,” said Dean turning around.

“I can’t, they really need me to go, but I’ll try to leave early, probably after lunch,” said Cas with an apologetic look.

“Okay babe, good night,” said Dean. Cas smiled, it was the first time that Dean called him like that.

“Don’t stay up too late,” said Cas before walking to his room.

Dean finally opened the journal. There on the first page, written with blue ink he read:

 

_Dec 25, 1999_

_I can’t do this anymore. Every time I see the kids, every time I laugh I feel guilty. Mary isn’t here and this isn’t the life I wanted. I never wanted to be a single dad. This is too much._

_Yesterday I talked to Bobby he says I can leave the kids with him for a while to clear my mind. I think I will._

 

Dean had to take a few deep breaths and close his eyes to stop himself from crying; his father didn’t want them. It was a freaking Christmas and instead of being with his sons he was writing about leaving them. He turned the page and read,

 

_Dec 30, 1999_

_Today I almost hit Dean. He spilled my last bottle of beer and I lost it. Kid’s scared of me and I don’t blame him._

Dean could feel a few tears rolling down his cheeks, he remembered that day, it was a blurry memory and sometimes he wasn’t sure if it was a dream. John had asked him to hand him a beer from the fridge; Dean grabbed it and opened it carefully but when he was walking towards his dad he stepped on his shoelace and tripped. The bottle fell to the floor and the beer spilled. John lost it and called him a useless idiot. Dean cried the whole afternoon.

Dean wiped his tears and took a swig from his tea, on the same page John had written.

 

 _Jan 2, 2000_  
_The world didn’t end. I’m not that lucky. Can’t wait for the kids to go back to school, I can’t stand looking at them all day, I never know what to do. They don’t understand what I’m going through._

  
_Jan 11, 2000_

_Forgot to pick up the kids from school. I was so hungover I didn’t notice it was already 3pm. They called me from Dean’s school, now they now I’m a bad parent._

  
_Jan 20, 2000_

_I’m doing it. I’m leaving the kids after Dean’s birthday. Rupert Simpson offered me a job at his garage in Missouri. Talked to Bobby, he says I can leave the kids with him until summer._

_Jan 27, 2000._

_Left the kids at Bobby’s. Heading to Missouri to work until summer at Rupert Simpson’s garage. Dean cried a lot, Sammy didn’t understand what was happening. Told Bobby I’ll pick them up around summer break. I don’t think I will. He always wanted kids and he loves them. I can’t take care of them, they look so much like Mary. I think Bobby knows that I’m not coming back I saw it in his eyes. Maybe I’ll come back some day, when I stop being a selfish bastard._

_I’m sorry Mary. I didn’t sign up for this shit. You said you would be with me forever and you died, I can’t take care of them. It should’ve been me, or maybe them, that way you and I could still be together. Everything was easier when it was just you and I._

 

Dean closed the book and threw it away; the journal hit a wall and then ended up on the floor, a few pages falling out. Dean just sat there without knowing what to do.

“Fuck you John,” he said. He was breathing fast. Cas walked out of the room with a severe case of bed head and with a sleepy face.

“Dean, what’s going on?” he asked when he saw Dean.

“The fucker had it all planned, he knew, when he left us with Bobby, he knew that he wasn’t coming back,” Cas ran and hugged his boyfriend; the moment Dean felt Cas’s arms around him he couldn’t take it anymore and he burst into tears.

“I’m so sorry Dean,” said Cas rubbing his back.

“He said he wished we had died instead of mom,” said Dean.

“Bastard,” said Cas. They remained like that for a while; eventually Dean stopped crying.

“I’m sorry Cas, I woke you up and you have work tomorrow,” said Dean.

“I don’t care Dean, you’re the most important thing in this world for me, I’ll always be there for you, okay?” said Cas. Dean stood up and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.

“I love you so much,” said Dean, “we should go to bed,” Dean pulled Cas’s arm and they went to their room.

Once they were in bed, Dean cuddled with Cas and kissed the back of his neck.

“I think I kinda get it, you know?” he said,

“What?”

“I would go fucking crazy too if I lost you, that part, I get it… but he had two kids to fight for, he said he didn’t sign up for that, well we didn’t ask to be born, fucking asshole, if you don’t want to have kids then don’t fucking have kids,” said Dean. Cas turned around and faced Dean.

“At least he did something good for you, he left you with someone who wanted you, someone who loves you. I don’t even want to imagine your life if you had stayed with him, all he pain and bitterness, you wouldn’t be my Dean,” said Cas.

“I probably would still be in the fucking closet and hating my life,” said Dean.

“Probably, yes,” said Cas.

“I said in the cemetery that I've had a good life thanks to him, but the truth is… Sam’s speech was more accurate, he couldn’t give us a good life so he left us with someone who could, I guess sometimes I take Bobby for granted, he didn’t have to do it, but he still kept us and raised us… he fucking sent us to college for fuck sake,” said Dean.

“He loves you and your brother, he did all that because he wanted to,” said Cas.

“I’m going to get rid of that fucking journal… I lived perfectly fine all these years without John Winchester in my life and I can keep going like that, I already have a father and his name is Bobby Singer,” said Dean.

“I’m proud of you, you’re being the better man here Dean, I just want you to let go of that pain, please don’t fill your heart with hate,” said Cas.

“I won’t, he doesn’t even deserve that,”

“Good, are you going to tell Sam about this?”

“No, at least not now, maybe someday but it isn’t worth it,” said Dean.

“I think that’s for the best,” said Cas with a yawn.

“You should sleep Cas, Benny will kill me if you’re all cranky tomorrow because of me,” said Dean smiling.

“You’re right…goodnight Dean, you should try to sleep too,” said Cas; he kissed his boyfriend’s lips and then got comfortable on the bed; after a few minutes he was sound asleep.

It took Dean a while to sleep; he just stayed there playing with Cas’s messy blue hair. Eventually tiredness won and he fell asleep as well.

* * *

 

Cas walked into the kitchen to cook his breakfast, he saw John’s journal on the floor, a few loose pages lying around next to the book. He picked them up and placed them on the table.

He had a quick breakfast and left the coffeemaker ready for Dean. Once he had everything ready he went to his room again, Dean was still sleeping so he kissed him on the cheek and left to his work.

 

* * *

“Good morning,” said Meg, she was sitting at the reception desk writing down something on a notebook.

“Good morning Meg,” answered Cas,

“We missed you,” she said.

“Umm, I was only gone for two days,” answered Cas picking up his correspondence from the desk.

“Yeah, but it was weird not having you … or Charlie around,” said Meg.

“Is she here by the way?” Asked Cas.

“Charlie? Went with Tamika to buy a box of doughnuts,”

“Oh, well I’ll talk to her later then,” said Cas with a shrug. He smiled at Meg and walked towards his office. Meg followed him with her eyes the whole time.

* * *

Once he was in his office he turned on his computer and watered Donna Noble (his cactus). He was checking his e-mails when he heard a knock on the door.

“Come in,” he said.

“Hi brother,” said Benny opening the door. He walked into the office and closed the door behind him.

“Hello Benny,” said Cas.

“I wasn’t expecting you this soon,” said Benny sitting in front of Cas’s desk.

“It was all too fast, Dean’s dad left said that he didn’t want a big thing, basically just being buried,”

“Wow, was he sick? I didn’t even know that Dean was in contact with him again, what the hell happened?”  
  
“They weren’t in contact, a friend of his contacted Bobby after he died… he drowned in a pool,” said Cas.

“Oh man, that’s crazy… how’s Dean doing? And Sam?” asked Benny; he had known the Winchesters since they were in school with him, he really cared for them.

“They’re sad, I mean, you know he wasn’t part of their lives, I’m not sure Sam can remember him, but I think it was still weird for them to finally find their dad only to realize that he was dead… it was a big deal, Sam says that you can’t miss someone that was never there, but it was still hard for them,”

“Jesus…”

“Bobby gave Dean the rest of the week off,”

“Yeah, because Dean loves to stay locked in his house relaxing and watching TV,” said Benny rolling his eyes.

“Yes, I don’t think he will last the whole week either, he already wants to go back to work,”

“You sure you don’t want to take a few days off too? I mean, Dean probably needs you to keep him company,” Cas smiled,

“I’m probably taking my work home tomorrow, but I wanted to come today and see how everything’s going,”

“Always the responsible one Cas” said Benny with a smirk, “ well brother, you know, you can take all the time you need,” he stood up, “I’ll call Dean later this week, I want to give him his space,”

“Thanks Benny,” said Cas.

* * *

 

Dean woke up after 9am, he felt a little guilty for not driving Cas to work. When he walked into the kitchen and saw the journal on the table, he smiled knowing that Cas had picked it up. He poured himself a nice cup of coffee and grabbed some cereal.

After his improvised breakfast he took a shower. The book remained on the table, a constant reminder of the existence of his father; after staring at the book for a while he put it in a bag and grabbed Baby’s keys,

“C’mon boy, we’re going out,” he called Nik. The little dog ran towards him and followed him happily.

* * *

Dean walked into Kraken a little before 1pm, Nik following behind. Charlie, Tamika and Meg were in the reception about to leave for their lunch break.

“Hi Dean,” said Charlie with a smile, “Oh, hi Nikola Tesla,”

“Oh my God! He’s so cute, is he yours?” asked Tamika picking Nik from the ground and rubbing his tummy.

“Cas is the proud father,” said Dean with a smile, “talking about Cas, he around?”

“I’ll let him know you’re here,” said Charlie walking towards Cas’s office.

“Dean, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” said Meg once Charlie was gone.

“Yeah?”

“You know if Cas is seeing someone? I wanna ask him out,” she said. Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise, he knew she had the hots for Castiel the moment he met her.

“I don’t think he would say yes,” said Dean.

“Really? Why?”

“Let’s just say that… you’re not his type,” said Dean.

“Charlie said the same, but I don’t get it, I mean I’m really hot… Does he prefer blondes?”

“You could say that,” said Dean smiling.

“He’s really cute you know?” she said. Dean rolled his eyes. In that moment Cas and Charlie walked out of his office.

“Dean, what are you doing here?” asked Cas with a silly smile.

“Hey Cas, I felt bad for not driving you here this morning… wanna grab something to eat?” he asked,

“It’s okay Dean, you know I love walking, you needed to rest,” said Cas, “oh is that Nikola Tesla?” he asked looking at his dog relaxing in Tamika’s arms.

“Your dog is lovely Cas,” she said. Cas took him from her arms and smiled at the little dog,

“Okay Dean, I’ll go with you, in fact I think I can take the rest of the day, let me just inform Benny, I’ll be right back,”

“Inform me what?” asked Benny walking out of his office,

“Oh, I’m leaving early today, you were right, keeping Dean locked in the apartment is impossible,”

“Hi brother, sorry about your dad,” said Benny hugging Dean.

“Thanks Benny,” said Dean.

“I’ll just go pick up my backpack,” said Cas handing his little dog to Dean. A minute later Cas returned.  
  
“Okay, ready to go,” said Cas; Dean handed him his dog,

“Thanks,” said Cas, he automatically gave Dean a quick kiss on the lips.

“You’re welcome babe, c’mon I’m dying for a pizza,” said Dean with a smile. They suddenly heard Benny snorting,

“What?” asked Cas.

“Something you wanna share with the class?” Asked Benny,

“I just kissed Dean in front of everyone, didn’t I?” asked Cas with a red face.

“Yeah,” said Charlie and Benny at the same time.

“That explains a lot,” said Meg with a smirk.

“Okay, I’m going to leave now, c’mon Dean,” said Cas pulling Dean by the arm. They were walking out of the building when they heard Benny yelling,

“You make a nice couple!”

* * *

 

“So that wasn’t awkward at all,” said Cas once they were in the car.

“I think it was perfect timing,” said Dean with a big smile.

“Why?” asked Cas.

“Meg was asking me if you were single,” said Dean.

“What did you say?”

“That she isn’t your type… technically I wasn’t lying, the best part though was when she asked me if you preferred blondes,”

“Oh my god,” whispered Cas.

“Like I said, perfect timing,”

“Well, guess I’m out now,” said Cas.

“You still need to tell Michael,” said Dean,

“Oh, yeah saving the best for last,” answered Cas rolling his eyes.

“You know I’ll be next to you when you tell him, I can do it if you want, I can totally ask for his permission to go out with you,” said Dean.

“You would love that, wouldn’t you?” asked Cas laughing.

“Totally,” said Dean.

“Well, we’ll see what happens, right now lets just focus on getting some pizza and having a nice afternoon,”

They ended up buying a pizza to go and having a nice picnic at a park. Dean and Cas sat on an old blanket Dean had in his car while Nik ran and tried to play with some ducks.

“I know it was only a weekend but I feel like we were out of town for a month,” said Dean. He was leaning on a tree sitting cross-legged next to his boyfriend. Cas got closer to him and leaned his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“Sometimes when you go through an emotionally excruciating experience, all you want to do is sleep for a year after that, it’s good you’re taking the week off,” said Cas.

“Wait? So this is how you feel after you have a meltdown?” asked Dean holding his boyfriend’s hand.

“Mostly,” answered Cas.

“How do you deal with it?”

“I don’t have an answer for that, sleeping a lot helps, just relaxing and trying to go back to normalcy, you’re actually doing fine… a week relaxing at home and you’ll be good as new to go back to work,” said Cas.

“Maybe you’re right… but I also needed this, a nice romantic date with my hot boyfriend,” said Dean with a smile.

“That helps too,” answered Cas before planting a kiss on his cheek. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, just eating their pizza and watching as Nik tried really hard to become friends with the ducks.

“I need to do something and you as my boyfriend are bound to help me,” said Dean.

“What is it?” asked Cas squinting his eyes.

“I’m getting rid of that stupid journal… he didn’t want us in his life, it don’t matter the reasons, he wasn’t willing to fight for us, he didn’t love us enough… and I don’t hate him, really… but I don’t think I need him to be part of my life either… the only nice thing he left me was my brother… and my car, and that’s it, I don’t want to read that journal and fill my heart with hate,” explained Dean.

“I’m proud of you Dean, that’s the best thing to do… but, how am I going to help you to get rid of it?” asked Castiel.

“Well, Bobby has a new neighbor, Marcy… and she’s dying for him, she’s always taking him cakes and peach cobbler, it’s crazy man… but, anyway, the point is that she has a wood chipper… I’ve always wanted to throw something into one of those things,” said Dean with a mischievous grin.

“Are you serious?” asked Cas laughing.

“C’mon, I’m a sad man and I want to change that… I wanna have some fun,” said Dean making his best impression of Sam’s puppy eyes.

“Does this involve trespassing?” asked Cas trying to put a serious face.

“Mayyybe…” Said Dean with a high voice. Cas rolled his eyes, “Oh, but c’mon she’s not home at this time of the day and neither is Bobby, we can park at his house,”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” said Cas standing up.

“C’mon it will be therapeutic,” said Dean. They cleaned up the place and called Nik (by this point he was staring at the ducks from the distance, resigned to not being their friend).

“Lets go before I regret it,” said Cas.

* * *

 

They parked outside Bobby’s front yard. Dean took a quick look at Marcy’s house to make sure her truck wasn’t there.

“Okay, she’s not home, c’mon…” said Dean turning around to grab the bag with the journal from the backseat.

“Someone will see us Dean,” said Cas trying to look around to make sure that no one was watching them.

“There’s no one around man… okay, if you don’t want to you can wait here, I’ll be right back, I really want to do this,”

“Fine, I’ll go with you,” said Cas leaving the car. He grabbed Nik and tied his leash on Bobby’s porch. “Be a good boy, we’ll be right back,” said Cas. After making sure that Nik would be fine, they walked casually towards Macy’s backyard; there, on the limits between her backyard and Bobby’s they saw the wood chipper. It was behind a couple of old barrels filled with water.

“C’mon, it’s right there,” said Dean pointing at it.

“ Do you even know how to use it?” Whispered Cas, he followed Dean.

“Can’t be that hard,” said Dean stopping in front of the machine.

“Can’t you just burn it or bury it Dean?” asked Cas.

“Yeah, I could,” said Dean, he saw a big red button on one side of the chipper and with a smile he said, “or I could do this,” he pressed the button and the machine came to life.

“Oh my God! Dean!” Castiel’s eyes were wide open. Dean held his boyfriend’s hand and looked at the wood chipper for a few seconds.

“Goodbye dad, I’m sorry things didn’t work out the way you wanted,” said Dean. He lifted his arm and threw the bag with the diary into the wood chipper; immediately from the other side of the machine they could see small pieces of paper flying like confetti. Dean kept staring at the wood chipper even after the journal was gone and Cas kept staring at him trying to decipher his expression. And of course they were so busy paying attention to something else that they didn’t hear the sound of Marcy’s truck parking outside.

“What’s that? Is there someone outside? I’m calling the police!” she yelled. Dean and Cas turned around and could see her silhouette behind the curtain of a window; the window was open but thankfully the wind wasn’t blowing hard so the curtain didn’t move. They could see how she stretched her hand to draw the curtain and Dean pulled Cas’s arm.

“Down,” he whispered. They ducked behind the barrels. The lady stood there for almost a minute staring at her big backyard, trying to find out what was going on. Dean was about to check if she was still there when they heard her talk again,

“I have a weapon! If there’s someone in my property you better show yourselves!” she yelled.

“Dean, we should do as she says,” whispered Cas.

“No, wait… I can see her, she’s leaving… I think she went to grab her gun, we need to run… on the count of three, 1…2…3…NOW!” they stood up and ran towards the fence, it wasn’t that high so they jumped it easily. They ran through Bobby’s backyard and didn’t stop until they were inside the house. They were out of breath, leaning against the backdoor; they were sweating and Cas’s hair looked messier than usual after the run.

“That was the stupidest idea you’ve ever had…” said Cas trying to catch his breath, “We should do that again.” Dean laughed so hard he felt to the floor and then kept laughing. Cas just stared at him, laughing too, though not as hard as Dean. Once they managed to stop laughing they sat on the kitchen floor in silence.

“That was really stupid,” said Dean, “why’d you let me do it?”

“You said it would be therapeutic,” said Cas with an indignant expression.

“Well, it kinda was, I feel better now,” said Dean with a smile.

“Good… I think if you want to do something like that again, first we should try to exercise or go for a run from time to time, we have zero condition,” said Cas. Dean smiled and got closer to him; they were face to face, staring into each other’s eyes.

“God, I fucking love you Castiel Novak,” he said. Cas smiled and got a little closer,

“I know,” he said before finally kissing him. They were five seconds into their kiss when they heard someone knocking on the door.

“Just ignore it,” said Dean. Cas nodded and smiled.

“Bobby! Are you home? I heard voices inside,” said Marcy.

“Crap,” said Dean.

“We should probably open,” Said Cas standing up. They walked towards the front door and opened it.

“Good afternoon,” said Dean with a smirk.

“Oh hi, you’re Bobby’s boy right? I thought you weren’t living here anymore,” said Marcy.

“Hi, yeah, I’m Dean… and no, I don’t live here, I moved in with my boyfriend,” said Dean pointing with his thumb at Cas who was standing next to him.

“Hi, I’m Marcy Ward,” she said to Cas.

“Castiel Novak,” said Cas waving at her,

“Guys, is Bobby around?” she asked trying to look behind them; Cas saw Nik sitting were he left him, he walked out of the house and picked up the dog, then he walked back to his place next to Dean.

“No, he’s at work, want me to call him?” Dean was really hoping that the lady would say ‘no’.

“No, I just… something funny just happened to me, I walked into my house and heard a loud noise outside, I thought there was someone in my backyard, I went to grab my gun and then I followed the noise… turns out my stupid wood chipper was on, I think is broken,” she said.

“Oh, so that was all that noise,” said Dean raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah, sorry… I hope I didn’t interrupt,” she looked at Cas from head to toe, he was still sweating a little and looked agitated, “anything,” she said.

“Don’t worry, today is my day off so we came here to pick up some of my stuff from my old room,” said Dean.

“Oh, well since you’re busy… you think maybe Bobby could take a look at that damn machine later?” she asked.

“Sure, I’ll tell him,” said Dean.

“Well… I better go, I’ll leave you two to your… packing,” she said turning around.

“Goodbye Marcy, it was nice to meet you,” said Cas.

“Goodbye dear,” she said.

Dean closed the door and looked at Cas.

“Great, now we have to tell Bobby that we were here,” said Dean rolling his eyes.

“Well, that story of you picking up some things from your old room sounds reasonable,” said Cas putting Nik on the ground.

“Yeah… we should probably wait a few minutes before we leave, c’mon let’s go upstairs and see if I actually find something in my room,” said Dean taking Cas’s hand.

* * *

 

“Hey Bobby, just wanted to let you know that I dropped by your house earlier today, picked up some stuff from my room after lunch with Cas,” Dean was driving back to the apartment and he was talking on speaker with Bobby,

“Okay kid, how you doing today?” asked Bobby.

“Better I guess… hey, listen, I’m driving but I just wanted to tell you, Marcy was looking for you, she wants you to look at her wood chipper… whatever that means,” said Dean joking.

“So mature,” said Bobby,

“She sounded desperate,” said Dean.

“I’ll call her later, Jesus that woman doesn’t give up,” said Bobby chuckling.

“Good luck Casanova,” said Dean.

“Thanks Dean, take care, I’ll call you later,”

“Bye Bobby,” said Dean before ending the call.

“We just lied to your uncle and trespassed into his neighbor house, you’re turning me into a monster Dean Winchester,” said Cas.

“I’m sorry… I’ll make it up to you, I promise I’ll behave the rest of the week,” said Dean. Cas smiled.

* * *

 

Cas opened his eyes and stretched,

“Stay in bed with me,” said Dean with his eyes closed.

“I need to work, even if I’m not going to the office I have stuff to do,” said Cas with husky voice.

“But you don’t have to get ready, you can work in your pajamas Cas,” said Dean. He rolled to his side and buried his face on Cas’s chest.

“Okay, but just for a few minutes, I really need to work,” said Cas placing a kiss on Dean’s head.

The next time Castiel woke up, Dean was sound asleep next to him. He looked at his clock, it was already 8:30; he got out of bed careful to not wake his boyfriend up. He took a shower and then put on clean pajama pants and a Metallica shirt (Dean’s of course).

“Hmm… What time is it?” Asked Dean with a yawn.

“9:03” said Cas sitting next to him.

“Do you really have to work today?” asked Dean sitting up.

“Yes, I have a Skype call at 9:30 with Meg, Tamika and Kevin, we need to discuss some things about a web page we’re working on,”

“If you need to go to the office you can go Cas, I can manage on my own, don’t worry,” said Dean. Cas passed a hand through Dean’s hair and smiled at him.

“I want to stay, you need me here and I want to be here for you, I can perfectly do my work from here, all I have to do today is check some e-mails, have that conference with my team and send my dad a couple of new sketches, then I’m all yours, we can spend the whole afternoon cleaning up the other room, it barely looks like a studio,” said Cas.

“You’re right, I could start packing some things we don’t need or want anymore today, I was thinking of borrowing Bobby’s truck and taking al that stuff to a goodwill or something.

“That seems like an excellent idea,” said Cas. “Maybe later this week we can pick the paint for the studio… unless we spend another week arguing about the color we want,”

“I actually had an idea,” said Dean.

“What is it?”

“A blackboard wall? I mean one of the longest walls has the bookshelves and we need that to put all our music and books, but the other one is totally free, we could paint that with blackboard paint, and the other two walls in light colors so the room doesn’t look smaller,” Explained Dean.

“I like that, we still need to pick the other color though, and right now I’m about to be late to my Skype conference,” he said getting out of bed,

“I’ll cook breakfast,” said Dean.

“Thank you,” said Cas.

* * *

 

The familiar sound of the Skype call sounded a few times until someone picked up on the other side. On his screen Cas could suddenly see Meg, Tamika and Kevin sitting in the Conference room.

“Hi Cas,” said Kevin.

“Good morning,” said Cas, “shall we start?”

“Yeah, right… umm, did you check the previews we sent you?” asked Tamika.

“Yes, I like what you’re doing with the page, I would change the font color though, a few shades darker and try changing the buttons to circles instead of squares,” said Cas.

“Okay,” said Kevin writing down everything Cas was saying.

The door opened in that moment and Dean walked in with a cup of tea in his hands,

“Hey babe, I made you a cup of tea,” said Dean placing it on the desk.

“Thanks Dean,” said Cas with a smile.

“Hi Dean,” said Kevin from the screen. Dean got closer to the computer and waved at Cas’s team.

“Didn’t mean to interrupt guys, but if this one doesn’t have his black tea first thing in the morning he turns green and starts throwing things around,” said Dean with a chuckle. Cas rolled his eyes and took a sip from his tea.

“Yeah, I’ve seen that,” said Kevin.

“Well, gotta go it was nice to see you guys,” said Dean, “Cas, breakfast’s almost ready,”

“Thanks,” said Cas with a smile.

“So you two are really dating,” said Kevin once Dean left the room.

“Yes,” said Cas.

“That’s cool, you guys make a nice couple,” said Kevin.

“Thank you Kevin… now where were we?”

“The design of the page,” said Tamika.

“Oh, right… well, change the size of the pictures, make them smaller and center them, I liked what you did with the motion graphics, I’m sending you the layout for the gallery page, and with all the changes I think we can have it ready by the end of the week,” said Cas.

“Okay boss,” said Tamika with a smile.

“When are you coming back?” asked Meg.

“I have to be there tomorrow, we have a meeting with a new client,” said Cas.

“Great,” said Meg.

“Okay, we’ll see you tomorrow then, do you want us to send you the changes we make on the page today?” asked Tamika.

“No, I can check those tomorrow, have a nice day and if you need anything you can send me a text,” said Cas.

“Okay, bye,” said Tamika. Kevin and Meg waved goodbye.

* * *

After breakfast Cas went back to the studio, he checked his e-mails and then sent his father the sketches he had promised. Dean started packing the stuff they would be donating.

He packed a lot of clothes, including John’s; schoolbooks, art material that Cas didn’t use anymore.

Once Cas was done with his work he helped Dean, then they cooked lunch. It was nice being together like that, Cas felt a little weird for doing something out of his routine, but he was happy of sharing those moments with Dean. Dean would sometimes space out, especially when he was packing John’s stuff; Cas knew his boyfriend had a lot in his mind right now, so he let him be.

They were finishing marking the boxes when Cas’s phone rang, it was Charlie.

“Hello Charlie,”

“Hi Cas, just wanted to ask, are we doing something today? I mean, it’s a Tuesday but things are a little weird this week so, I just wanted to make sure,” she said. Cas covered his phone for a few seconds and turned to Dean.

“Is it okay if I invite Charlie over? Today is Tuesday,” said Cas.

“Yeah, sure, why not?” said Dean.

“Charlie, do you want to come over? We can order food and maybe play scrabble?” asked Cas.

“Sounds great, I’ll be there after work,” she answered.

“Perfect, see you in a while,” said Cas before hanging up.

“Why would you ask my permission to invite her over?” asked Dean.

“I though you might want your space,” said Cas with a shrug.

“Yeah, but today is Tuesday Cas, Charlie day, I get it,” said Dean, he placed a soft kiss on his boyfriend’s nose. Cas smiled and nodded.

* * *

 

They had a nice evening with Charlie, they ordered Greek food and played a ‘Lord of the rings’ scrabble that Charlie had just bought. After the game, in which Cas won, they told her about their ideas for the studio and she helped them with some ideas too.

She left early and Cas promised that he’d go to Kraken the next day. Once Charlie was gone Dean and Cas took Nik for a walk at the park. They held hands while they walked in a comfortable silence with their dog.

“Do you really have to go to Kraken tomorrow?” Asked Dean.

“Yes, we have a meeting with a new client and I need to check a few things with my team,” said Cas, “why?”

“Just curious,” said Dean with a shrug.

“Dean,”

“I’m scared of being alone… I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts, I don’t want to think about him… sorry, it’s stupid I know…” Cas stopped and locked eyes with his boyfriend.

“It isn’t stupid Dean, I know you didn’t know your father, but you still have all the right in the world to feel sad about it,” said Cas. He kissed Dean’s hands.

“I don’t understand… I didn’t know the guy but it still feels weird, like something changed inside me, I don’t know how to explain it,”

“You had an idea in your mind during your whole life and then suddenly you discovered the truth, your whole life revolved around a lie, and now you have to re-shape some things and learn to live without all those chains,” explained Cas.

“Wow, that’s exactly how I feel,” said Dean.

“It seems like your father and my mother weren’t that different from each other, and both left a big weight on their son’s shoulders to bear,” explained Cas.

“I guess we really have a lot in common,” said Dean with a sad smile, “but… how do you do it? How do you manage to go on after the bomb dropped?”

“Antidepressants help, but I was lucky I guess, I didn’t get enough time to mourn my situation, I mean for a few minutes it all was about ‘I spent my whole life refraining from showing my true self because I thought my mother left because of me, but she didn’t and I wasted a lot of years living in a lie,’ but then I had the meltdown and then you confessed your true feelings, so not everything was lost and I wasn’t that sad anymore,”

“You got closure basically,” said Dean. He resumed walking and Cas followed him.  
  
“You could say that,”

“But how do I get closure? We already buried the guy, I forgave him, I kinda introduce my boyfriend to him… hell, I even read his stupid diary and found out the truth, I don’t think there’s anything left to do,” said Dean.

“Then maybe you just need time… remember when we started our relationship, I needed time to feel comfortable enough with myself to tell other people, my mother’s words didn’t left the moment I told you the truth, it isn’t that simple, you can’t rush things Dean, you’re always saying that,”

“Yeah, you’re right, probably taking this week off wasn’t a bad idea after all,” said Dean scratching the back of his neck.

“And if you want I can make you an appointment with Doctor Norton,” said Cas.

“No thanks, not a big fan of shrinks… I mean, I’m happy it works for you, but I don’t like sharing my life with strangers… I’ll pay a visit to Missouri though, she always knows what to say,”

“That’s a great idea,” said Cas.

“I have another idea,” said Dean.

“What?” asked Cas.

Dean put his hands on Cas’s hips and pulled him closer.

“We should go back home and make out,” he whispered. Cas smiled and planted a kiss on Dean’s lips.

“That’s an excellent idea,” he said with a smirk.

* * *

 

_Dean was tucked in bed comfortably next to his little brother. The bed was huge (at least for a couple of kids) and Bobby was sitting next to them reading a story,_

_“But the wild things cried ‘Oh, please don't go—we'll eat you up—we love you so!’ And Max said ‘No!’ The wild things roared their terrible roars…”_

_“Uncle Bobby?” asked Sammy interrupting his uncle._

_“Yeah?”_

_“How long till the summer is here?” Asked the youngest Winchester._

_“It’s already summer Sam, that’s why you don’t go to school and get to spend the days at the lake with those Novak kids,” said Bobby._

_“Okay,” said Sam._

_“Why?” asked Dean ruffling his brother’s hair._

_“I don’t want to go. I like living with uncle Bobby…cuz… cuz… he read me my books before bed and he make me sandwiches and he play with me,” said little Sam listing the things with his fingers. Bobby smiled._

_“Yeah, I like living with uncle Bobby too. But maybe we don’t have to go. Daddy left to work and now he has money so he can buy a house here and we can stay in this city,” said Dean with a big smile._

_“Yes! I want to stay! When is daddy coming back? I wanna ask him to buy a house in Sioux Falls and we can stay here forever!” asked Sam clapping with excitement._

_“I don’t know… Uncle Bobby?” asked Dean,_

_“I don’t know son, he said around summer but maybe he’s staying a little longer in that job,”_

_“He called today?” asked Dean._

_“No son, sorry… but maybe tomorrow,” said Bobby with a shrug. Dean turned his head to look at his little brother, he looked tired after the day they spent playing with their neighbors._

_“Can you finish reading the book,” asked Dean._

_“Sure,” Bobby resumed his reading; five minutes later they could hear Sam’s light snores. Dean turned his head again to check his brother,_

_“Bobby?”_

_“Yes Dean?”_

_“Is dad okay?” asked Dean looking at his uncle in the eye. Bobby closed the book and took a deep breath._

_“I don’t know son, he probably decided to stay a little longer like I told you,” said Bobby._

_“But he never calls or sends letters, what if something happened and now we don’t have a daddy too, I don’t want to go to an orph…orphan…orphanage…” Dean started to sob. Bobby placed the book on the bedside table and hugged Dean._

_“Son, I don’t want you to worry about this okay? Your daddy is fine, you’re gonna be fine,” said Bobby._

_“But what if he never comes back?” asked Dean letting go of Bobby._

_“Well if that happens you’re gonna stay here for all the time you need, okay? I’m always gonna take care of you and your brother, always Dean,” said Bobby._

_“Thank you Bobby,” said Dean wiping off his tears._

 

* * *

Dean woke up and it took him a few minutes to realize that he was in his room with Cas. Everything was dark; he sat up and drank the whole glass of water that was next to him on the bedside table. He passed his hand through his hair and he wasn’t sure how it happened but he began to cry; at first it was just a few tears rolling down his cheeks, but soon it became really hard to breath and he was full on crying.

Cas woke up to a weird sound and feeling like his bed was shaking. He opened his eyes and saw Dean; the moonlight was enough to let him see the state of his boyfriend.

“Dean? What happened?” asked Cas rubbing Dean’s back. Dean leaned against his boyfriend chest and Cas held him. The tears soon created a damp spot on Cas’s chest but he didn’t care he just kept hugging Dean.

“We were just a couple of kids Cas… just… Sammy was 4 for fuck sake! And he left us… am I … am I not worth it?” Cas could barely understand what Dean was saying; he was a sobbing mess.

“Dean… your father was a troubled man, he didn’t know what he was doing… his pain was so big that he wasn’t thinking about you or your brother,” said Cas.

“This is stupid, the guy means nothing to me, I just… he abandoned us, for so long Cas, I felt abandoned… like a fucking dog left in the street because it isn’t the cute little puppy anymore… for years I was afraid that Bobby would get tired of us and send us away… I…”

“Shhh Dean, it was only a dream… a bad memory… I wish there was a way I could take all your pain away Dean, I love you so much, I don’t want you to suffer,” said Cas.

“I love you too Cas… please, never leave me, please…” In that moment Cas realized something, Dean Winchester was terrified of being abandoned.

“Never, I swear…”

They remained like that for a while. Dean crying and Cas saying reassuring words. After Dean fell asleep again, Cas grabbed his phone and sent a text to Benny: he was skipping work that day and probably the rest of the week. He turned off his alarm and got comfortable next to his boyfriend.

* * *

The rest of the week went pretty much like that, Cas worked at home, keeping Dean company. Dean kept dreaming about his childhood for a couple of days more; Cas would hold him and let him cry.

By Friday they had finished packing all the stuff they would donate and cleaning the office. That day they borrowed Bobby’s truck and divided the stuff in two bunches: things for the orphanage and things for goodwill. They first dropped the stuff they had deemed goodwill material. Then Dean drove them to the orphanage and they donated Cas’s art material, a few toys, a desktop computer and Dean’s bed.

After all the donations they drove to the Home Depot. They picked a nice lilac tone for the studio; Cas said it was soothing. They put a bucket of blackboard paint in the cart too. Someone passed too close to Cas’s cart and hit it a little.

“Oh, sorry sweetheart,” said a familiar voice.

“Missouri?” asked Dean; he was standing behind Cas.

“Hi kids, Dean I heard what happened to your daddy, how are you sugar?” she asked placing a hand on Dean’s arm.

“Better I think, it’s been a little hard… it kinda triggered a lot of things in my mind, but I think I’ll be fine,” he said with a smile. She grabbed his hand and stared at his palm. Dean looked around, but the hallway was empty, it was a Friday morning after all.

“I see a bright future for you sweetie, you went trough a lot but now you’re reaching your ‘happily ever after’… and I see that the road trip worked, you and Cas are talking again,” she said smiling at Cas. Cas smiled back at her and held Dean’s other hand… “More than talking then,” she said.

“Yeah,” said Dean.

“I’m happy for you kids, really… you two are perfect for each other,” she said letting go of Dean’s hand, “and I love your hair Cas, you could use a haircut though.” Cas smiled and passed a hand through his hair.

“You’re right, I think I’ll pay you a visit next week,” said Cas.

“Whenever you want,” she said, “Well, I better go… this store is the only place where I can find the damn light bulbs for the lamp in my kitchen,” she said rolling her eyes.

“Good luck,” said Dean.

“See you next week,” said Cas.

She waved goodbye and then pushed her cart through the hallway.

“I don’t know about you, but every time I see her, I can’t help but feel happy right after,” said Dean.

“Yes, it happens to me too,” answered Cas.

* * *

Dean spent Saturday morning at Bobby’s while Cas spent it at Chuck’s. The Novaks invited Dean too but he said he wanted to spend some time with his uncle since he had been absent of the garage the whole week. Chuck informed Cas that Michael would be visiting the next week with Jill. Cas decided it would be the perfect time to tell his brother.

On Sunday they painted the office and gave Nik a bath. They spent a quiet evening at home. Dean had loved his week off with Cas, but he was actually ready to go back to work. They Skyped with Sam before going to bed.

* * *

When Dean opened the door of his office on Monday morning, he was happy to see that he didn’t have a lot of paperwork accumulated on his desk. He owed Bobby a meal for that favor.

He checked his e-mails and shared a box of doughnuts with Bobby and Garth. It was a quiet day. Cas sent him a couple of texts during the day and when he arrived to the apartment that night, Castiel was already waiting for him with a big box of his favorite pizza.

After dinner Cas prepared him a bath; he thought about asking Cas to join him, but the bathtub wasn’t that big and he wasn’t ready to be rejected by his boyfriend, it had been a rough week with the ‘being rejected’ situation, _‘thank you very much John Winchester,’_ he thought.

While he took his bath Cas went to the studio and dedicated some time to draw more stuff for the graphic novel. It was all looking pretty cool, he was happy with the results. He had been drawing Crowley for a lot of years, but Rowena was a new character and he was still trying to draw the perfect Rowena.

* * *

Once in bed, Dean held him in the dark, pressing Cas’s back to Dean’s chest.

“Thanks for tonight Cas, I really needed that after last week,” said Dean placing a kiss on Cas’s neck.

“Anything to make you feel better,” answered Cas with a yawn.

“We should try the spa day together next time,” said Dean.

“Bathtub isn’t big enough,” answered Cas yawning again. Dean’s jaw dropped, had he heard right? It took him almost a minute but he finally managed to ask,

“What?” The only answer he got was Cas’s light snores.

* * *

 

The rest of the week Dean was greeted with random details from his boyfriend. On Tuesday he walked into his office to find tickets for a Star trek special screening at the movies; no one knew what they would be screening, only that it would be something from the Star Trek universe (it ended up being Wrath of Kahn); Dean, Cas and Charlie had an amazing time.

On Wednesday he walked into the apartment to find Cas holding a bouquet of red roses and a Wii remote on his hand,

“It’s Mario Kart night, I baked pie,” had said Castiel.

Cas sent him a special lunch on Thursday; when Dean opened it, he found a plate with sushi rolls placed in a way that they looked like Nik’s face. He also got two slices of homemade pie and a can of his favorite root beer.

On Friday they had a picnic by the lake like on their first date. Cas cooked burgers and bought Dean’s favorite tamales.

“You know I already love you right? You don’t have to bribe me with food,” joked Dean.

“I’m not trying to bribe you, but I can stop if you want,” said Cas with a shrug.

“You kidding me? You made this week perfect Cas, you knew I was a little sad and you fixed it,” said Dean after kissing Cas’s cheek.

“I wanted to show you that you are loved,” said Cas.

“Thanks babe, I really needed this,” said Dean with a huge smile.

“You keep calling me that,” said Cas squinting his eyes.

“What?” asked Dean.

“Babe… I like it,” said Cas with a shy smile.

“I didn’t notice I was calling you that, I guess it kinda happened,”

“I hope it has nothing to do with your car’s pet name though because that would be weird,” joked Cas. Dean just rolled his eyes.

“I love you Cas,” said Dean. Cas smiled and held Dean’s hand.

“I love you too… but we should probably go home, tomorrow we’ll have an interesting day,” said Cas.

“Oh, right… Michael,” said Dean.

“Yes, Michael.”

* * *

It was a hot day of May so Chuck and Gabe decided to set a table on the backyard and have the family breakfast there. When Dean and Cas arrived, only Chuck was sitting at the table, reading his newspaper.

“Hey Chuck,” said Dean waving at him,

“Oh, hi guys,” he closed the newspaper.

“Hi dad,”

“Glad to see you, are you staying today Dean?” asked Chuck.

“Yeah, we kinda wanted to tell Michael, you know,” said Dean taking Cas’s hand.

“Oh, right… well he’s still upstairs I think,”

“It’s okay… we should probably have breakfast first,”

“I’ll bring you some coffee, take a seat,” said Cas to his boyfriend.

“No, Cas… I’ll get it and I’ll bring your tea, it’s the least I can do after this week,” answered Dean walking towards the house.

“Okay,” said Cas, he took a seat in front of his father.

In that moment Jill and Gabe arrived carrying trays with fruit and juice.

“Hi Cas,” said Jill with a huge smile, she placed her tray on the table and walked towards Castiel to hug him.

“Hello Jill, it’s nice seeing you again,”

“I know… it’s been too long,” she said.

“Hi little bro,” said Gabe.

“Hello Gabe,”

“Is Dean-o staying today?”

“Yes,”

“Great, I’ll call Charlie too, we’re having a Novak party today!” said Gabe with excitement.

Dean returned with his cup of coffee and Castiel’s tea. Then he sat next to Cas. Jill and Gabe returned to the kitchen to bring the rest of the breakfast.

Michael finally showed up 5 minutes later, he took a seat between Jill and Chuck. Gabriel sat next to Dean. They had their breakfast in peace. Chuck and Cas told the others about their progress with their graphic novels. After breakfast Gabe and Cas cleaned the table and then brought another round of coffee and tea for everyone.

“I need to tell you something,” said Cas to Michael after clearing his throat.

“Can it wait? I need to tell you guys something too, important news,” said Michael.

“Sure,” said Cas siting straight.

“Right… umm… Jill’s pregnant,” informed Michael.

“Oh… well, congratulations son,” said Chuck with a huge smile.

“I’m so happy for you Jill,” said Cas, he stood up and hugged his friend.

“Thanks Cas, I only have like five weeks so the baby won’t be here until next year, but I’m really excited,” she said with a huge smile.

“Congratulations you guys,” said Dean raising his cup.

“Are you getting married?” asked Gabe.

“Not yet… I want to wait till the baby is here, I don’t want to look huge on my wedding pictures,” said Jill.

“We’re moving together of course, and we’re getting a bigger house,” said Michael.

“I’m really happy for you son,” said Chuck.

Once the excitement for the new baby calmed down a little, Michael remembered that Cas wanted to talk to him,

“So Castiel, what were you going to tell me?” asked Michael.

“Now I don’t know if I should tell you, I don’t want to take away your moment,” said Cas.

“Oh, C’mon Cas, these reunions only happen once a month, this is why we’re together to share our lives with the rest of the family,” said Jill.

“I guess you’re right,”

“So… what is it?” Asked Michael.

“I’m gay,” said Cas. Michael stared at him as if he had grown another head.

“Umm… okay,” said Mike. Cas stared at his brother waiting for a reaction. Everyone remained silent. Jill finally decided to do something and kicked her boyfriend under the table, “I’m going to assume that everyone else already knew since you’re all acting so cool about it… I … umm… are you sure about it?” he said.

“Yes,”

“Cool, cool,”

“Oh for the love of God, Michael he likes guys, he’s not an axe murderer or something… what if our kid tells you one day that he or she is gay, are you going to react like that too?” said Jill. Gabe raised his eyebrows and whistled.

“Jesus, you’re right… I’m… I’m sorry Castiel; Jill is right, as long as you’re happy everything is fine, this is… umm… thanks for sharing this with us,” said Michael holding Jill’s hand.

Cas relaxed a lot after Michael’s reaction; he knew his brother wouldn’t react that well to the news, considering he was still in contact with his mother and he probably saw being gay as a sin.

Michael poured more coffee in his cup and took a swig,

“Dean is my boyfriend,” informed Cas. Michael spat his coffee and began to cough. Jill rolled her eyes and gave a few pats to her boyfriend’s back. Gabe was trying really hard not to laugh and Dean and Chuck stared at Cas trying to catch his reaction. The youngest Novak started to scratch his hand; Dean placed his hand on Cas’s to stop him from hurting himself.

“Is this a joke?” asked Michael once he stopped coughing.

“What do you mean?” Asked Dean clearly trying to protect his boyfriend,

“Are you like playing with my brother or something?”

“What? Why would I do that?” asked Dean confused.

“I mean, you’re his best friend, haven’t you noticed that he’s…well, different,” said Michael lowering his voice.

“Yeah, that’s why I love him,” said Dean.

“No, I mean… he’s…”

“Michael, I suggest that you think what you’re about to say, remember what we talked last year, I’m not kidding, I don’t care if your family is here, if you hurt Castiel’s feelings I’ll kick your ass,” said Dean. Everyone looked at Dean.

“I’m not stupid Michael,” whispered Cas, “I’m not like most people but I’m totally capable of loving and having a relationship, you really should stop judging people, you’re not perfect either and I don’t care if you think that my relationship with Dean is a game, I love him and I’m not asking your opinion, I’m just letting you know about my life because you’re part of my family,” he said his speech looking at his brother in the eye. Michael stared at him analyzing Castiel’s words.

“You’re right… I … I’m sorry, it’s your life and is not my business, you’ve always supported me in my decisions and you are kind to Jill, I should at least try to do the same and support you and Dean,” said Michael avoiding Dean’s gaze.

The table was surrounded by an awkward silence now.

“I’m really happy for you…how long have you been together?” asked Jill with a smile.

“Two months today, actually,” said Dean.

“Wow, well you make a cute couple guys, I’m really glad you fixed your problems and that now you’re together,”

“I think Bobby is the happiest about this, he was getting tired of having me at his place again,” joked Dean.

“Oh, so you moved back with Cas then?” asked Jill.

“Yeah, almost a month ago,” said Dean.

“How’s that going by the way? You finished your studio?” asked Gabriel. The awkward moment had passed; Cas and Dean told them about their studio and all the stuff they had donated. Michael remained silent, he would participate from time to time in the conversation but he was obviously uncomfortable.

Eventually Charlie showed up; Jill shared the good news with her and they spent the rest of the afternoon looking at ‘geeky clothes’ for babies. Cas and Dean left around four, they didn’t have plans for the night but they wanted to do something special for the day.

* * *

 

After a long make out session and a nap, they decided to go bowling. They had a great time, they were just goofing around and they didn’t care who won at the end (“But I totally beat you Cas, thank you very much”) and after that they stopped for tacos and then went back home.

They took Nikola Tesla for a walk, they took their time, enjoying each other’s company and letting the little dog have fun. When they returned to the apartment Nik ran straight to his water bowl and then fell asleep next to it. Dean and Cas put on their pajamas and got comfortable watching a movie on the living room.

Being there, next to Dean, Cas thought about all the things they had lived in those two months, some things were painful and some made him feel the happiest person in the world, but at the end of the day, he wouldn’t change one bit of it because he had Dean by his side.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter. I'm sorry it took me this long, something happened this weekend. (Someone very close to a person I love, took his life. So, it was a weekend full of sadness and just like a lot of thinking. I just want to tell you guys that you're not alone, if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always contact me and talk to me, about anything, i don't care, even if you think your problems can't be solved or that you're issues are stupid, i'm here for you).
> 
> So obviously after this experience, it was a little hard for me to write about what happened with Dean after John's death, I actually had to delete a big part of the chapter and change things a little.
> 
> I haven't started the next chapter, but hopefully I'll have it by the end of the week. Stay safe and remember, you are worth it and i love you.


	28. Not a single scratch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has a lot going on in his mind, between a trip to New York, his work at Kraken and his UST with Dean; he ends up having a small accident, weird dreams and a mature conversation with his brother (all that in one week).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It's 2:27 am and I'm back, i'm sorry it took me this long to finish this chapter, i've been kinda busy. The story is almost over, probably another chapter and then the epilogue.
> 
> Thanks for being patient and for reading this! Your kind words keep me going. Again i apologize for any mistake, remember that english isn't my first language. I hope you like this chapter.
> 
> Warnings:  
> mentions of underage sex.

* * *

 

Charlie wrapped the last blue lock with aluminum foil and then removed the plastic gloves.

“Okay Cas, done… now we wait for at least 40 minutes, though it says here that you should leave it a little longer,” she said.

“Thanks Charlie, I would do it myself but I can’t reach properly on the back of my head,” said Cas.

“It’s okay, I love helping you with your hair,” she said. The door of the apartment opened in that moment.

“Hi guys,” said Dean. He walked towards the kitchen, where Cas and Charlie were working on Cas’s hair. Dean hugged her and then gave his boyfriend a quick kiss.

“What’s with the foil in the head Cas? Trying to communicate with aliens?” asked Dean.

“Aluminum foil helps to make my hair warmer, hair dye works better with higher temperatures,” explained Cas.

“Wow, hey your roots aren’t black anymore, what did you do?” asked Dean getting closer.

“Charlie bleached my hair again,” answered Cas.

“Oh my God, please tell me there are pictures,” said Dean with a huge smile. Cas just rolled his eyes and Charlie grabbed her phone from her pocket,

“Here, I give you Goldilocks,” said Charlie handing Dean the phone.

“Please don’t laugh,” said Cas.

“Wow, I’ve never pictured you like this… I mean, you don’t look bad but it’s weird, kinda like Charlie with black hair or Sam without his mane,” Dean returned the phone to Charlie and leaned against the counter.

“So, how was your day?” asked Dean.

“My father called, we already have an appointment with the publishing company… I have to go to New York by the end of next week,” said Cas.

“That’s great news Cas, I’m so proud of you,” said Dean.

“I’m a little nervous but I’m happy too,” said Cas.

“Man, I still can’t believe my best friend is the illustrator of those books,” said Charlie; she opened the fridge and grabbed a couple of beers for her and Dean and a bottle of juice for Cas.

“I hope my life doesn’t change that much after the books are published, I would hate that,” confessed Cas.

“Oh, c’mon you’ve seen your dad, I mean, yeah he has to travel some times but he’s here most of the time and he has a pretty chill life,” said Charlie.

“I guess you’re right,” said Cas.

“I mean, if you become like super rich and we have to move to New York, I think I can manage,” joked Dean.

“You’re so kind Dean,” answered Cas rolling his eyes.

“Anyway… I don’t know about you guys but I’m starving,” said Dean rubbing his stomach.

“We cooked dinner tonight,” said Charlie.

“Really? What are we having?” asked Dean.

“Garlic-Parmesan chicken and Caesar’s salad,” said Charlie.

“Wow, what’s with the healthy food?” asked Dean surprised.

“Don’t ask me, your bae is the one who thought about it,” answered Charlie with a shrug.

“I’m working more than I used to, I just think I need to eat healthier since I don’t want to get sick… plus, you drive me to work almost every day now, I’m not walking as much as I used to,” explained Cas. Dean smiled and winked at him.

“We can start working out if you want, I mean, I’m not a big fan but we can go for a run every night, take Nik to the park and exercise,” said Dean.

“That’s actually an excellent idea, I don’t mind that much about my physical appearance but I want to be healthy, specially now that I’m about to be under a lot of stress,” said Cas.

“Okay, healthier lifestyle it is… but we’re still having pizza on Fridays right?” asked Dean.

“Of course, what kind of monster do you think I am?” answered Cas.

They sat at the table and had their delicious homemade dinner. Charlie told them about Saturday night, she had gone for dinner just with Jill and they had an amazing time.

After dinner, they played a few rounds of Mario Kart. Charlie left an hour later and Dean promised he would help Cas to wash his hair.

“Ready to wash that hair?”

“Yes, I thing we should do it here in the kitchen, there’s more room and I can bend more comfortably in the sink,” said Cas. Dean stared at him and blushed a little,

“What?” asked Cas.

“Nothing… I … um, yeah, I’ll bring your shampoo, get the water ready,” Dean walked to the bathroom and grabbed a blue shampoo bottle. He looked himself in the mirror making sure that he wasn’t red anymore, _‘Jesus, calm your hormones Dean, he was literally talking about washing his hair,’_ He thought, _‘Yeah, but it totally sounded straight out of a fucking porno.’_

“Can you bring my towel too?” asked Cas from the kitchen. Dean turned around and grabbed Cas’s towel, then he turned off the light of the bathroom and walked back to the kitchen.

“Okay, are you ready?” asked Dean.

“Yes, I already removed all the foil and the water is nice,” said Cas with a smile; he bent and put his head right under the running water. Dean walked towards him and helped him rinse the blue dye out of his hair then he added the shampoo and gave Cas a nice scalp massage.

“This is relaxing,” said Cas. Dean smiled and began to rinse the foam.

“Ouch, it got into my eye,” said Cas giving a small jump.

“Crap, sorry, are you okay?” Asked Dean.

“Yes, I’ll just...wait,” Cas moved his arm and washed his eye under the water, after a few seconds he blinked and nodded,

“Better?” Asked Dean.

“Yes, though I think I made a mess,” said Cas. The front part of his shirt was wet now and there was blue foam on the floor.

“It’s okay, we’ll clean it later, now let’s finish with your hair,” Said Dean. Cas returned to his previous position and Dean finished rinsing his hair. After that he handed the towel to Cas. While Cas dried his hair, Dean went to the laundry room to get the mop.

Cas took off his shirt and threw it in the sink then he kept drying his hair.

“You look hot,” said Dean staring at his boyfriend. Cas took the towel off of his head and blushed. Dean walked towards him and took the towel from Cas’s hand then he threw it next to the previously discarded shirt. The turquoise of his hair made Cas’s eyes look even bluer; Dean was mesmerized.

“Thanks,” whispered Cas locking eyes with his boyfriend. Dean licked his lips and got closer to Cas,

“Dying your hair that color was the best fucking idea ever, your eyes look amazing,” he said. Cas moved forward and planted a kiss on Dean’s lips. Dean raked his hands through Cas’s wet hair and deepened the kiss. Cas placed a hand behind Dean’s neck and the other on his lower back pulling his boyfriend closer. They stayed like that, kissing and holding each other, for what seemed like an eternity; Dean pushed Cas and he walked backwards until he hit the table behind him. They stopped kissing for a couple of seconds, just enough for them to catch some air and for Dean to place his hands on Cas’s hips. Cas kissed him again, Dean lifted him and with a fast movement Cas was sitting on the table. Cas opened his legs and Dean got closer to him, they kept kissing frantically. Dean passed his hands over Cas’s naked chest eliciting a shiver in Castiel’s body.

Dean stopped kissing his lips but moved to his neck, his jaw, and his collarbone. Cas moaned and ran his hands through Dean’s hair.

“Dean,” he said almost in a whisper. Dean started kissing his chest,

“Cas,” he answered,

“Dean, wait,” Castiel pushed Dean lightly, he didn’t want to hurt his boyfriend’s feelings but this was moving to a direction he wasn’t ready to go yet.

As soon as Dean heard the words he stopped and gave a step backwards,

“Sorry, I…” said Dean still trying to control his breathing.

“I need to brush my hair, otherwise it’s going to tangle,” said Cas blushing.

“Yeah… yeah, you do that… I’m gonna take a shower,” said Dean. He turned around and walked towards their room,

“I love you,” said Castiel. Dean closed the door behind him.

* * *

After his long shower Dean walked into their room. Cas was already in bed; he wasn’t asleep, just reading a book and waiting for his hair to finish drying.

Dean walked towards his dresser and grabbed a clean pair of pajama pants. Cas left his book on the bedside table and got comfortable between the covers. Dean joined him a couple of minutes later, he turned off the light and turned around to face Cas’s back. He wasn’t sure if Cas would be comfortable with it, he could feel that he was a little tense, but something inside him told him that Cas needed reassurance that Dean wasn’t upset with him, so Dean got closer to his boyfriend and put his arm around his chest.

“Good night Cas,” said Dean; he placed a kiss on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Good night Dean, I love you,” answered Cas.

* * *

 

Cas barely slept that night, he had a lot going on in his mind; he wanted to talk to Dean about the sex situation but he didn’t know how to address the subject; he could sense that Dean felt guilty and that he was trying to give him some space. _‘Perfect Castiel, now he thinks you don’t want him to touch you,’_ he thought that morning after his mind wandered to the events of the previous night for the tenth time.

He looked at the clock and saw that it was 6:15 am, he wasn’t sleepy anymore, so he got out of bed, put on some clothes and took Nik for a quick walk outside so he could do his business. When he returned to the apartment he started the coffeemaker and then took a shower.

* * *

 

Dean woke up to the sound of the alarm at 7:00 am, he turned off the annoying sound and turned around to find an empty space next to him; that was weird since usually it took him almost 10 minutes to convince Castiel to leave the bed. He got out of bed and walked towards the kitchen to find his coffee ready; he also heard the sound of water running in the bathroom, Cas was taking a shower.

He walked towards the bathroom door and knocked,

“Cas, I’m taking Nik for a walk,” said Dean.

“I already took him,” answered Cas from the inside.

“Okay, cool… I’ll start breakfast then,”

“Thank you.”

Dean prepared breakfast and then went to his room to get ready for the day. He was tying his boots when Cas walked into the room with a towel around his waist.

“You woke up early,” said Dean spending extra time working on his shoelaces.

“Yes, I woke up a little after six, I couldn’t go back to sleep so I decided to take Nik for a walk,” said Cas. He walked towards the closet to grab something to wear.  
“Cool… umm, breakfast is ready… I’ll just…” Dean pointed at the door and walked out of the room. Cas sighed and proceeded to get ready; he could feel the awkwardness in the air.

* * *

 

They had their breakfast in silence. Dean wanted to say something, it wasn’t the first time they’d have a heavy make out session, as Dean would put it, but last night definitely had been different from other times and he was worried he had crossed some boundaries. _‘Just freaking talk about it Winchester,’_ he thought. Dean looked at Cas who was reading the news on his iPad; he took a deep breath and opened his mouth to talk but right in that moment his phone rang; he cursed internally and grabbed the phone,

“Hello? Oh hi Garth… no, I’m having breakfast,” Cas lifted his head and looked at Dean with curiosity, “That sucks man, yeah no problem I can pick you up don’t worry… see you in 15 minutes outside your house?” Dean stood up and placed his dishes in the sink, “Great, okay see you later Garth,” he hanged up and put his phone back on his pocket.

“Is everything fine?” asked Cas.

“Yeah, just… Garth’s Car broke down and he needs me to pick him up on my way to work,” said Dean, “we’ll have to leave a little earlier today, hope you don’t mind,”

“No, it’s fine, I’m ready to leave I just need to brush my teeth and grab my backpack,” said Cas standing up.

“Okay.” They moved fast and were ready to leave after five minutes. They drove in silence; Garth’s house was only five minutes away from their apartment and Dean was pretty sure that time wouldn’t be enough time to have their conversation; they would have to wait for later.

They parked outside Garth’s house and he walked out a minute later followed by Bess, he gave her a quick kiss on the lips and then rubbed her belly,

“Howdy fellas,” said Garth opening the back door,

“Hi Garth,” said Cas and Dean at the same time. Garth sat on the backseat and closed the door, he waved goodbye to his wife and she waved back.

“Thanks for the ride Dean, I’m such an klutz, that battery has been giving me problems since last week and I kept saying ‘I’ll check it tomorrow’ and this morning my car just stopped working,” said Garth,

“Well, just remember to take a new battery with you tonight,” said Dean with a smile.

“I’ve learned my lesson,” said Garth.

“How’s your wife?” asked Castiel changing the subject.

“She’s fine… a lot of morning sickness but doctor says that’s normal during the first trimester,” said Garth.

“You thought of names?” asked Dean.

“Not really, we want to wait until we know if it’s a boy or a girl,” said Garth.

“Oh,”

The rest of the drive was surrounded by silence, a couple of minutes later they reached Kraken,

“Well, it was nice seeing you Garth, goodbye Dean, have a nice day,” said Cas. He opened his door and moved to leave the car but Dean pulled his arm,

“Hey,” said Dean sounding a little nervous; Cas turned his head and looked him in the eye, “I love you, okay?” Cas smiled shyly and nodded,

“I love you too Dean,” he kissed his boyfriend on the cheek and got out of the car. Garth opened his door and moved to the front seat.

“Bye Cas,”

“Goodbye Garth,” said Cas waving. Dean waited a few seconds until he saw Cas entering the building.

* * *

 

“I don’t want to meddle in your life but… did I sense some awkwardness in the car a few minutes ago?” asked Garth on their way to the garage. Dean took a deep breath and waited a few seconds to answer. He wasn’t sure how much should he tell Garth, but he knew the guy was an incredible person and that he was a good friend.

“I umm… lets just say that… we’re still trying to adjust to that change from friends to well, a couple… and sometimes it is pretty cool and easy but sometimes, like yesterday it’s a little awkward and I don’t know… weird? I just… sometimes I forget that this is Cas’s first relationship you know?” said Dean.

“That’s normal Dean… you just have to remember that the key to a good relationship is good communication… it should be easier for you man,” said Garth.

“What do you mean?” asked Dean.

“Well, you’ve been best friends since you were kids, you already know each other perfectly, you know how to talk and how to solve your problems… some people start dating to ‘get to know each other’ but you two already do, you’re literally dating your best friend Dean,”

“Yeah… but still, this is new for both of us… sometimes I think we’re just scared of fucking things up … because if this doesn’t work we’re not only losing a boyfriend, we’re losing a best friend too,”

“Do you honestly see yourself ending things with Cas?” asked Garth.

“Never,” answered Dean, “he’s the one, man… we’re going to get old together,” said Dean with a smile.

“There’s your answer then Dean, you’re willing to do whatever it takes to be with Cas forever, so this problem you have, it doesn’t matter what it is, you’re gonna find a way to solve it because you want your relationship with Castiel to work,” said Garth.

“Man, you’re wise,” said Dean.

“Well, I married my best friend when we finished high school,” said Garth with pride.

 

* * *

 

Cas walked into his office and placed his backpack on the couch. He turned on his computer and then watered his plant. He sat down and checked his e-mails trying to clear his mind. He had a couple of mails from his team and a mail from Chuck; he opened the e-mail from his father. Chuck was letting Cas now that they would be leaving next Wednesday to New York. Cas took a deep breath and pressed the bridge of his nose. _‘Well, at least now I found something to distract myself from yesterday… I have a lot of work,’_ he thought.

He checked all the work they had schedule for the next week and immediately felt guilty for leaving all that to his team; he knew that was their job, but it still was a lot of work, _‘maybe if I work extra hours for what’s left of this week and on Sunday and Monday.’_

Cas spent the rest of the day working, he only paused on his lunch break to share Chinese food with Charlie but then he went back to work.

He was sending some corrections to his team when he heard a knock on the door,

“Come in,” he answered.

“Hey Cas, I’m leaving… want me to drive you or are you staying?” asked Charlie.

“Are you leaving early?” asked Cas.

“No, It’s 5 pm Cas,” she said.

“Oh… well, I think I’ll stay a little longer, I need to finish this corrections and then work on a color palette,” he answered.

“You sure? I mean, can’t it wait till tomorrow?” asked Charlie. Cas though about it for a minute, it probably could wait but he wanted to advance as much as possible before leaving to New York, besides this could bring him the peace and time he needed to get ready for his conversation with Dean, it wasn’t like he was trying to avoid his boyfriend, he really needed to work.

“Yes, thank you Charlie, but I’ll stay… My dad just informed me that we’re leaving next Wednesday to New York, so I want to work extra to compensate for the week that I’ll be gone,” said Cas.

“Oh my God! That’s great Cas! Just don’t stay too late okay? Want me to tell Benny that you’re staying?” asked Charlie.

“Yes please, see you tomorrow Charlie,” answered Cas with a smile.

“See ya Cas,” she answered before leaving the room.

* * *

 

Dean walked into the apartment at 8:15, he had helped Garth to change the battery of his car when they left the garage. The lights of the apartment were off,

“Cas?” he asked. He heard the sound of Nik’s little feet walking towards him; he turned on the light and picked up the dog from the floor, “hi buddy, where’s your dad?” he asked. The little dog licked his face and Dean put him back on the ground. He walked towards his room but Cas wasn’t there either. After looking in every room of the apartment he grabbed his phone and dialed Castiel’s number.

“Hello Dean,” answered Cas.

“Hi Cas, where are you?” asked Dean.

“At work, I decided to stay a little longer to catch up on some work,” said Cas.

“A little longer? Cas it’s 8:30 pm,” said Dean.

“Crap, I didn’t notice,” said Cas.

“Want me to pick you up?” asked Dean.

“Don’t worry Dean, I’m not done yet, I can walk home when I finish,” answered Cas yawning.

“Okay, tell you what? I’ll cook dinner and then I’ll pick you up okay?” asked Dean.

“Okay Dean,”

“See you later then, love you,” said Dean.

“Love you too,” answered Cas before finishing the call.

Dean cooked dinner trying to give Cas time to finish his work. By 9:10 a delicious spaghetti Alfredo was ready to be served. He turned off the stove and grabbed his keys. He sent a text to Cas to let him know that he was on his way and then walked out of the kitchen,

“C’mon Nik, we’re picking up Cas,” said Dean. The little dog jumped in excitement and followed him.

* * *

 

Cas turned off his computer 5 minutes after he received Dean’s text. He gathered all his stuff and picked up his backpack then he made sure that everything was in order at Kraken. By the time he walked out of the building and locked the door Dean’s impala was already parked outside. Dean was playing with Nik on the sidewalk.

“Hi babe,” said Dean.

“Hello Dean… hello Nikola Tesla,” said Cas. He picked up the dog and they climbed in the car.

“ You look tired,” said Dean,

“My dad sent me an e-mail… we’re leaving on Wednesday, I’ll be out of town for a week so I decided to work as much as possible before I have to leave,” answered Cas.

“Just don overdo it, I know you like being responsible and comply with your work, but if you’re tired and stressed you won’t be able to enjoy your trip babe,” said Dean.

“I know… I lost track of time… buy my plan is to work extra hours until Friday, then probably on Sunday and Monday, that way I’ll have Tuesday to relax,” said Cas.

“Okay,” said Dean. He wanted to talk more about the subject but he knew Cas was stubborn when it came to fulfilling his work.

“Did you fix Garth’s car?” asked Cas changing the subject.

“Yeah, he was right, it was the battery,” answered Dean.

“Good,” said Cas. The rest of the drive was spent in silence.

* * *

 

Cas suddenly realized that he was hungry the moment Dean placed a plate with spaghetti in front of him,

“Jesus, did you have lunch?” asked Dean.

“Yes, but we had Chinese food so I’m starving now,” answered Cas. Dean smiled and kept eating.

Once they finished dinner Cas washed the dishes,

“I know we said we would start running after work but I’m too tired tonight,” he said while drying the plates.

“It’s okay Cas,” said Dean. Cas yawned and stretched,

“Well, I’m going to bed,” he said. Dean walked towards him and placed a chaste kiss to his lips,

“Okay, I’ll take a shower first, good night Cas,”

“Good night Dean.”

* * *

 

The next morning Cas woke up early too, this time at 3:30 am. He prepared himself his favorite tea and then took a shower. He was ready for the day by 4:45 am; he wasn’t hungry yet so he took Nik for a walk. Once he was back he decided to start working and went to the studio to work in silence since Dean was still asleep.

Dean opened the door of the studio at 7:05,

“Couldn’t sleep again?” he asked; his hair was a mess and he looked like he had just jumped out of bed.

“Yes… I already took Nik for a walk,” he said.

“I’m starting to worry about you Cas, you sure this work rate is a good idea?” asked Dean.

“Yes… it’s only for a few more days… then we can go back to our normal routine when you have to bribe me with tea to get out of bed,” said Cas.

“Okay, I’ll get ready and cook breakfast… I’ll cook something heavy so you can get through the day,” said Dean passing a hand through his hair.

“Okay, thank you Dean,” answered Cas.

* * *

 

The drive to Kraken was again silent, Dean wasn’t sure but apparently Cas had mastered the art of sleeping with his eyes opened and he had snored a little during the drive.

“Cas, we’re here,” said Dean shaking Cas. Cas sighed and blinked a couple of times.

“Oh yes, right… see you later, I Dean you, love… I mean… I love you Dean, have a good night,” he said walking out of the car. Dean just looked at him trying not to laugh. He was pretty sure that Cas would end up falling asleep in his office.

Cas drank 3 cups of black tea before he was ready to start working. He spent lunch checking the color palette with his team while they shared a pizza.

A little after 2 pm he was starting to feel like his caffeine levels were decreasing. He decided to get out of his office and go upstairs to the kitchen to prepare himself another cup of black tea; he needed to talk to Kevin anyway.

Cas had just left his office when he saw Charlie leaving Benny’s office. She smiled at him,

“Charlie, have you seen Kevin?” he asked after yawning, 

“ Have you seen yourself?” asked Charlie.

“I know, I know… I just need to finish everything by tomorrow, then I’ll rest on Saturday, work on Sunday,” he yawned again, “then on Monday and rest on Tuesday… I’m leaving on Wednesday to New York remember,” he said.

“Okay, but if you don’t sleep the whole Saturday I’m taping you to your freaking bed… Kev is upstairs by the way, he was by the copier,” answered Charlie. Cas nodded and walked towards the stairs.

He was climbing the stairs, he had no idea how it happened but he tripped against one of the steps and he ended up rolling downstairs.

“Oh my God! Cas!” Charlie ran and knelt next to Castiel who was lying on the floor. He opened his eyes and grunted. “Guys I need your help!” yelled Charlie. A few seconds later Benny opened the door of his office,

“What happened?” he asked running towards his friends.

“Cas fell from the stairs,” said Charlie. The rest of the team walked downstairs,

“Oh my God! Cas!” Tamika saw that that one of the sleeves of his shirt was bloodstained. She ran to the bathroom to grab the first aid kit.

“I think I’m fine, at least I didn’t break anything, I’m fine,” said Cas. Ash and Benny helped him to sit down on a chair. Meg handed him a bag of ice. Tamika returned and carefully rolled up his sleeve. Cas had a deep cut; she placed gauze over it and applied pressure.

“Has anyone seen my glasses? I’m pretty sure I was wearing them,” said Cas.

Benny spotted the glasses a few feet away from him and grabbed them,

“Here,” he said handing the glasses to Cas. Cas grabbed them and put them on,

“Not a single scratch,” said Cas with a smile. Charlie rolled her eyes,  
  
“C’mon I’m driving you to the hospital,” she said,

“I’m fine Charlie, it was just a couple of stairs,” said Cas.

“I counted at least six Cas, and your arm is still bleeding,” she pointed,

“Okay, but we need to hurry, I still have a lot of things to do,” he said with a sigh. He stood up but immediately the room started to move so he sat back again, “I think I need a little help,” he informed his friends. 

* * *

 

Dean was teaching Alfie how to properly order the tools when his phone started to ring,

“Wait a minute Alfie… keep cleaning those spanners,” said Dean, he turned around and finally picked the call.

“Hi Dean,” he heard right away,

“Hi Red, what’s up?” asked Dean.

“Okay, first of all I want you to know that everything is fine, nothing serious… I’m at the ER,” she said.

“What happened?” asked Dean scared,

“Cas fell from the stairs… he’s fine, totally conscious and talking and all,” she said.

“Fuck… I’m on my way,”

“Okay, and please stay calm I don’t need two accidents in one day,” she said. Dean hanged up and ran towards Bobby’s office, it was all like a déjà vu from Cas’s car accident.

“What happened?” Asked Bobby.

“Cas fell from the stairs at Kraken, Charlie says he’s fine but they took him to the ER, gotta go,” said Dean.

“Okay, keep me posted son,” Dean nodded and ran towards his car.

* * *

 

“I’m telling you Charlie, I’m fine,” complained Cas again.  
  
“Shut up Cas, you’re not a doctor,” answered Charlie. The young doctor inspecting Cas’s arm giggled at Charlie’s words.

“You’re gonna need stitches here,” said the doctor, “we’re gonna take some x-rays to make sure that everything’s in order, I’m worried you might have a broken rib… do you find it difficult or painful to breathe?” Asked the doctor,

“No, it really feels like something muscular,” answered Cas,

“We’ll know for sure with the x-rays, oh and you have a minor concussion, we need to put you in observation after that,”

Cas took a deep breath and nodded; he wasn’t a big fan of hospitals, especially since his car accident. The doctor got everything ready to stitch Cas’s arm; it was an easy procedure but Cas was still scared. Once the doctor was done (5 stitches later) he stood up and grabbed a couple of papers,

“Okay, now the x-rays, I’ll go check if they’re ready for you,” he walked out of the room.

“Are you okay?” asked Charlie,

“This is a little stressful, I don’t have time to be stressed,” said Cas.

“C’mon Cas, everything's gonna be fine, Dean’s on his way,” said Charlie with a smile. Right in that moment Dean walked into the room.

“Cas? Oh my God babe! How are you?” Dean ran towards his boyfriend and stared at him from head to toe trying to make sure that everything was fine,

“I’m fine, really… I just got a small cut on my arm,” said Cas lifting his right arm.

“Five stitches,” said Charlie, “and he has a minor concussion,”

“Fuck,” Dean sat next to Cas and placed a soft kiss on his temple; Cas smiled and leaned his head on Dean’s shoulder,

“I was so stupid, I was practically a zombie this morning,” said Cas.

“Hey, don’t worry babe, really… if you don’t finish your work by Monday, is not the end of the world Cas,” said Dean holding Cas’s hand.

“I want to advance as much as I can with our job,” said Cas.

“Cas, you need to relax okay? No one’s rushing you…” said Dean, he placed a soft kiss on Castiel’s head.

In that moment the doctor returned to the room, he was pushing a wheelchair.

“Okay, everything’s ready, I’m gonna need you to take off your shirt and put on this,” said the doctor lifting a hospital gown from the chair. Dean stood up to help Cas, “oh, hi… you weren’t here when I left,” said the doctor.

“Hi, I’m Dean, Cas is my boyfriend,” said Dean helping Cas to stand up.

“Oh, I thought she was your girlfriend,” said the doctor looking at Charlie.

“No, Charlie is my best friend and we work together,” said Cas. Dean started unbuttoning Cas’s shirt and gasped when he saw a couple of huge bruises on Cas’s left side.

“Jesus,” said Dean,

“It doesn’t hurt that much,” said Cas. Dean finished removing his shirt and helped him put on the gown. Then he walked towards the wheelchair,

“I can walk,” said Cas.

“You mentioned you felt a little dizzy last time you tried to walk on yourself,” said the doctor.

“But I’m feeling better now, I can walk,” answered Cas.

“Cas, please use the chair,” said Dean looking worried. Cas nodded and sat on the chair in resignation,

“Okay, this won’t take long guys, we’ll be back in ten minutes,” said the doctor pushing the chair. Cas took off his glasses and handed them to Dean.

“Good luck Cas,” said Charlie.

“I love you,” said Dean.

Once the doctor and Cas were gone Charlie sat next to Dean,

“I’ll call the guys to let them know what’s going on,” said Charlie grabbing her phone.

“Yeah, I’ll text Bobby,” said Dean.

* * *

 

After the x-rays (Cas was right by the way, no broken bones), the doctor asked him to stay for a couple of hours just to make sure that everything was fine with his minor concussion. They sent him to a small bed on the corner of the ER and Dean and Charlie waited with him. He wasn’t allowed to sleep (though he really wanted to do it after his weird day), so Charlie and Dean played cards with him to pass the time.

Weirdly enough only a couple of people arrived to the ER while he was there, just a girl with a broken leg and a guy with a horrible stomachache; Cas was really thankful for that since he hated the stressful environment that usually surrounded the ER.

Once the two hours passed the doctor signed some papers and Cas was allowed to leave (the doctor also asked Charlie for her number but she had to break his heart telling him that she liked girls). Charlie said goodbye to Dean and Cas on the parking lot. Cas climbed on the passenger seat of the impala and Dean drove home.

Cas went to bed the moment he arrived to the apartment,

“I’ll wake you up for dinner, okay?” asked Dean.

“Hmmm,” was all Cas could say before falling asleep.

 

* * *

 

  
“Cas, babe… wake up,” said Dean playing with Cas’s hair, Cas opened his eyes and sat up right away,

“What happened? Did I fall asleep? Am I dead? Did I finish my work?” he asked,

“Relax Cas, you’re home… in our room… you’re not dead and you didn’t finish your work but the doctor said you need at least 3 days in bed if you want to travel next week,” said Dean.

“mierda!” said Cas crossing his arms.

“You’re speaking in French,” said Dean with a smile.

“Spanish actually, I’ve always find Spanish a better language for cursing… it adds more feeling to it,” said Cas.

“I love you,” said Dean placing a soft kiss on Cas’s nose.

“I love you too Dean, I’m sorry I scared you today,” said Cas.

“Hey, you’re fine and that’s all that matters… I cooked you a ham sandwich and tomato rice soup,” said Dean placing a tray in front of his boyfriend.

“Your mom’s recipe for when you were sick,” said Cas with a smile,

“Yeah.”

Cas ate everything happily. Dean sat next to him waiting for him to finish his food.

“wanna take a bath?” asked Dean once Cas finished his dinner. Cas blushed a little and looked at Dean for a couple of seconds,

“Not really, can you hand me my laptop? I need to send some e-mails to my team,” answered Cas.

“Cas, you need to rest,” said Dean.

“It will be fast, I promise… I just want to let them know that I’m fine and send them my part of the work so they can finish it… I’m stubborn but I’m not stupid Dean, I understand when the universe is telling me to calm down,” said Cas.

“Okay… 15 minutes, then I’m taking that damn thing away from you and you and I are going to watch a movie,” said Dean trying to sound upset.

“Cross my hearts,” said Cas.

“Quoting Doctor Who wont save you,” said Dean rolling his eyes, “I’ll go take a shower,”

“Okay,” answered Cas.

* * *

 

They spent the rest of the evening watching movies. After two movies Cas fell asleep leaning on Dean’s shoulder.

“C’mon sleepyhead, bedtime,” said Dean.

Cas opened his eyes and walked on autopilot to his room. Dean tucked him comfortably between the blankets and then took his place next to him.

“Good night Cas, I love you,” he placed a kiss on Cas’s forehead and then turned off his lamp.

* * *

 

The next day Dean wanted to stay home with his boyfriend but Cas insisted that it would be useless since he would probably spend the rest of the day sleeping.

“Okay, but if anything happens you call me okay?” asked Dean leaning against the doorframe of their room,

“Yes Dean,”

“Even if you need help opening a jar of peanut butter,” said Dean.

“Dean, I’m an adult, I’m capable of taking care of myself… I’ll be fine,” said Cas rolling his eyes,

“Sorry… you’re right… I’ll call you on my lunch break,” said Dean.

“Okay,” answered Cas with a smile. Dean turned around to leave but he returned to the room and ran towards the bed, he kissed Cas on the lips and smiled,

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too, now go to work!” said Cas laughing. Dean left the room and once Cas heard the front door closing he fell asleep again.

* * *

 

The next time Castiel woke up it was 10:45. He sat up and immediately felt pain on his left side; apparently the effect of the pills was wearing off. He put on his glasses and walked out of bed.

When he walked into the kitchen he found his pills on the table next to a bottle of water. He took the pills and emptied the bottle. Dean had left him some oatmeal; he reheated it in the microwave and ate happily. After breakfast he took a shower and then went to his room.

He decided to wear only a pair of black boxer briefs, the day was hot and feeling the texture of fabric against his bruises wasn’t comfortable.

He turned on his computer and checked his e-mails, he still needed to make some corrections on an illustration Meg had sent him but it only took him 15 minutes to finish his notes and send the e-mail.

He was reading an e-mail from Tamika when his phone rang, it was Dean,

“Hello Dean,” he answered,

“Did I wake you up?” asked Dean,

“No, I woke up an hour ago, I already took a shower and had breakfast, thanks for the oatmeal by the way,” he said.

“You’re welcome, did you take your pills?” asked Dean. Cas got distracted reading the mail and it took him a few seconds to answer,

“Ummm… yes, yes of course,” he said.

“What are you doing?” Asked Dean.

“I umm… nothing, I’m in bed…” said Cas.

“How’s the pain?” asked Dean.

“The pills help a lot, I also found another bruise under my chin,” said Cas.

“I’m sorry babe,”

“It’s okay… though I guess I won’t look hot to impress the guys from the publishing company,” said Cas.

“Good,” answered Dean. Cas laughed at his boyfriend answer, “anyway I just wanted to check you’re fine, I gotta go now but I’ll call you again during my lunch break okay?”

“Okay,”

“Love you, talk to you later, bye,” said Dean before hanging up the phone. Cas placed the phone next to him and then grabbed the book from his bedside table. The next time his phone rang it was 1:15 pm,

“Hello Dean,” he answered. He placed a bookmark on his book and closed it.

“Hi babe, what are you doing?” asked Dean.

“Reading, but I think I’m going to stop now, the doctor was right if I force my eyes I start to get a headache… next time I fall from the stairs I’ll try to remember not to hit my head,” said Cas.

“You’re not funny,” answered Dean. Cas couldn’t see him but he was pretty sure that his boyfriend was rolling his eyes.

“Sorry… I’m bored,” answered Cas.

“I’ll try to leave early today… I’m getting dinner on my way home by the way, what do you want?”

“Pizza,” answered Cas right away.

“Figures,” answered Dean laughing, “Bess baked us some carrot muffins to say thanks for driving Garth the other day by the way,”

“I love carrot muffins!” said Cas happily.

“I know, I’m doing my best fighting the urge to eat them,” answered Dean.

“You should go back to work and stay away from those muffins,” said Cas.

“You’re probably right, I better go back to work if I want to leave early today, see you later babe,”

“Goodbye Dean, enjoy the rest of your day,” answered Cas.

“Love you,”

“Love you too.”

Cas pinched the bridge of his nose, the headache was intensifying and he didn’t want to take more pills, so he did the next best thing, take a nap.

* * *

 

_Cas waited inside the janitor’s closet for almost 20 minutes. He hated Wednesdays, he had to wait for Gabe to finish band practice so mom could pick them up from school. Every Wednesday he had to stay in school for an extra hour, and every Wednesday he had to hide from his bullies._

_He remained silent for a while, once he was sure that the hallway was clear, he opened the door slowly and left. He still needed to wait for another half an hour but he figured it would be safer for him if he waited outside of Gabriel’s classroom. He looked around the hallway and then walked upstairs, the band practiced at a classroom on the second floor. He was walking towards Gabe’s classroom when he saw them: Ruby, Raphael and Uriel; they were laughing leaning against some lockers. Cas stopped walking and turned around hoping that they hadn’t seen him._

_“Hey, isn’t that Asstiel?” asked Ruby. Cas walked Faster pretending he didn’t hear her._

_“Where are you going weirdo?” Asked Raphael. They followed him and kept calling him names. Cas kept looking around trying to find a teacher in the hallways. He reached the stairs and was about to run downstairs when he crashed against Dick Roman._

_“Hey, what do you think you’re doing you little rat?” asked Dick grabbing him from the arm._

_“Nothing, I’m sorry… I … I’m…” Cas was shaking and trying really hard to hold back his tears._

_“I…I’m… I,” Dick started to imitate Cas and the rest of the group laughed, “What? Were you trying to push me and make me fall from the stairs? Is that what you were trying to do Cassandra?” asked Dick._

_“N…no…it was an accident, I’m sorry Dick,” apologized Castiel. Dick let go of his arm and looked at him in the eye,_

_“Oh no, it wasn’t an accident, the guys saw it, I was just walking upstairs looking for my locker and you went all crazy and ran against me, you pushed me,” said Dick with a smirk._

_“You should teach him a lesson Dick,” said Uriel with an evil grin._

_“No… sorry, really… it was an accident, I promise,” Cas was crying at this point. He hated this kids, they were two years older than him and they loved bullying kids younger than them._

_“Jesus, shut up, it isn’t even funny if you start crying that fast Cassandra, you’re like a little baby, I can’t believe you’re Gabriel’s brother, are you adopted or something?” Cas looked at his feet and didn’t say anything; maybe if he stayed like that they would get bored and leave._

_“I think you broke him,” said Ruby._

_“Yeah, c’mon lets go,” said Dick. He let go of Cas’s arm and pushed his shoulder lightly. Cas gave a few steps backwards and then he slipped. Everything happened in slow motion, he could see the faces of shock of his bullies. He rolled downstairs, everything was spinning and his body hurt._

_“Dick! What did you do?” asked Raphael._

_“I didn’t push him that hard, I swear,” answered Dick._

_Cas reached the bottom of the stairs and hit his head. He felt a hard pain on his torso and his glasses were gone, he closed his eyes._

_“Oh my God! I think you killed him!” Said Ruby._

_“Lets get outta here!” yelled Uriel._

_Cas could hear the sound of his bullies running away. He opened his eyes and he was at Kraken, Charlie was kneeling next to him, she looked taller than usual._

_“I think I’m fine, at least I didn’t break anything, I’m fine,” said Cas, his voice was still the one of a 6 year old. Ash carried him to a chair and Meg handed him a bag of ice._

_“Has anyone seen my glasses? I’m pretty sure I was wearing them,” said Cas._

_“Here,” said Benny handing the glasses to Cas. Cas grabbed them and put them on, they were bent and full of scratches,_

_“I’m sorry dad, it was an accident,” said Cas._

_“Cas it’s okay, I don’t care about a stupid pair of glasses, all I care about is you, okay?” asked Chuck sitting next to him, Cas was suddenly on a hospital bed; he started scratching his left hand,_

_“Don’t do that,” said Chuck with a soft voice. A doctor walked into the room in that moment._

_“Just like I thought, a cracked rib, honey,” she said carrying Cas’s x-rays in her hands._

_“Cas, are you okay?” asked Dean walking into the room with Charlie._

_“Who are you?” asked the doctor._

_“Hi, I’m Dean, Cas is my boyfriend,” answered Dean. He could suddenly hear a knock; someone was knocking at a door._

_“Cassie, I didn’t bring my keys open the damn door,” he heard Gabriel’s voice on the distance._

Cas opened his eyes after his weird dream and realized that Gabe was in fact knocking at his door. He stood up and walked towards the apartment door.

“I’m coming, ” he said. He opened the door a few seconds later to find his brother standing on the hallway and carrying a paper bag.

“Hi Cassie,” said Gabe looking at him from head to toe.

“Hello Gabriel,” answered Cas, his voice deeper than usual since he had just woken up.

“Were you sleeping?” asked Gabe walking into the apartment.

“Yes, what are you doing here?” asked Cas closing the door.

“Took my car to the garage, she needed an oil change, I saw Dean and he told me about your little accident, thank you so much for telling us by the way,” said Gabe walking to the kitchen.  
  
“It wasn’t a big deal, I didn’t find it necessary to worry you with it,” said Cas following his brother.

“Dude, you were rushed to the hospital and had a minor concussion… not to mention that and that,” said Gabriel pointing to Cas’s arm and his torso.

“I’m fine really… my glasses survived this time and no cracked ribs,” joked Cas.

“Jesus I had forgotten about that time,” said Gabe.

“Elementary school was such a delight,” answered Cas, “I had a dream about that by the way, it was a weird mix between that incident when I was 6 and what happened at Kraken,”

“Good times,” said Gabe raising his eyebrows.

“What’s in the bag?” asked Cas.

“I’m cooking a nice meal for you,” answered Gabe with a smile.

“Did Dean tell you to do this? I’m fine, really… just a little sleepy thanks to my painkillers,” said Cas.

“Dude, let me do something nice for you… and I don’t think you’re in condition to cook, have you seen yourself? What did they give you? Painkillers for horses?” asked Gabe.

“I think they make an interesting fusion with my antidepressants… don’t tell that to Dean though,” admitted Cas.

“Okay… you should probably go back to bed,” said Gabe.

“Fine…” said Cas yawning,

“I’ll wake you up when the food’s ready,” said Gabriel.

* * *

 

“Wake up Cassie, food’s here,” said Gabe carrying a tray with a bowl of soup. Cas was already awake; he was sitting on his bed petting Nik. Gabe walked towards him and placed the tray on his legs.

“Thank you,” said Cas. Gabe picked up Nik and placed him on the floor; the little dog directed an indignant glare at Gabriel and then left the room.

“You’re welcome little bro,” said Gabe.... is it safe to sit in your bed?” asked Gabe.

“Yes, why wouldn’t it be?” asked Cas after tasting his soup.

“I don’t know, weird stains, or artifacts lying around…”

“What do you? Oh my God! What’s wrong with you?” asked Cas blushing, “No… there are no weird stains or artifacts in my bed,” he said rolling his eyes. Gabe nodded and sat down next to Cas. Castiel resumed eating his soup.

“So, you’re still not having sex...” said Gabe suddenly. Cas coughed a little.

“Umm… how do you know?” asked Castiel.

“First, you’re my brother and I know you and second Dean told me the other day,” said Gabe.

“What did he say? And why would he tell you that?” Asked Cas with curiosity.

“I don’t know, the conversation kinda led there… the point is that he said that you weren’t ready and that he was cool with that,” said Gabe. Cas raised his eyebrows,

“Really?”

“Yeah… he said he didn’t care if he has to spend the rest of his life with a ‘helping hand’ as long as he gets to be with you and all that cheesy stuff he likes to say when he talks about you, together forever yada, yada, yada…”

Cas stared at his brother in surprise; all this time he had believed that maybe Dean thought that Cas didn’t wanted him in that way, but it turned out that Dean actually knew and understood that Cas wasn’t ready… and he was okay with that, he was willing to wait.

“Earth calling Castiel,” said Gabe waving his hands in front of his brother’s face.

“Oh sorry… I just… thanks for telling me that Gabe,” said Cas. He picked up his spoon and continued eating.

What do you mean?”

“Can we have a serious conversation? I… I have a lot in my mind and I need someone to talk about this,” said Cas.

“Of course little bro, you know I’m always here for you, I can stop being the class clown for 5 minutes,” said Gabe winking. Cas smiled, he finished his soup and placed the tray on the bedside table next to him.

“I wasn’t aware of the fact that Dean knew that I’m not ready,” said Cas.

“I thought you’d told him,” asked Gabe.

“Lets just say that whenever the opportunity has presented to us… I end up backing out, and I mean, it hasn’t happened a lot of times, we kind of tiptoe around that matter a lot… but the last time it happened it was awkward and something changed between us for a couple of days… it’s… I, I want to do it, really, I do, but it scares me and I don’t want him to think that I’m pushing him away,” Cas felt a lot better after taking that out of his chest.

“Oh, Cassie… it’s normal to be scared… it’s something new, everyone’s scared on their first time,” said Gabe with a soft voice.

“I know… I just, I wish I didn’t have this stupid anxiety, it isn’t helping me… it took me more than 10 years to come out of the closet and confess my feelings for Dean because of all the weird things going on in my mind… I don’t want it to take another 10 years for me to finally take that step,”

“You really should talk to Dean, let him know how you really feel… he loves you Cas, he’ll understand,”

“At first I thought that it would just happen, you know? Like in movies and TV… you’re kissing and then one thing takes to another and the next thing you know you’re doing it… but it doesn’t work like that,” said Cas passing a hand through his hair.

“Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t… but you need to figure it out together,” said Gabe. Cas nodded.

“Thank you Gabe,” said Cas.

“You’re welcome Cas… that was me talking as a mature friend, now this is me talking as your older and much more experienced brother,” said Gabe; Cas looked at him and blinked a couple of times.

“Okay?” asked Cas.

  
“Always take a hat to the party,” said Gabe with a smirk.

“What?”

“Protection Cas, always wear protection… and a lot of lube in your case… but yeah, condoms are basic,”

“I’m not having this conversation with you again, I already had it when I was younger,” said Cas rolling his eyes.

“I’m just saying man… and you should get tested you know? Both of you, make sure that you two are clean and all that jazz,”

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” admitted Cas.

“Of course it’s not a bad idea,” said Gabe… “Do you have any other question?” asked Gabe.

“No thank you, I’m sure I can manage looking for my answers on the Internet,” said Cas.

“Oh Cas, c’mon, I’m the voice of experience… you can ask me anything,”

“I don’t think you’re experienced on this field,” said Cas.

“What do you mean?” asked Gabe.

“I’m gay Gabriel, remember?” asked Cas rolling his eyes.

“So what? I went to college, remember?” Answered Gabe wiggling his eyebrows.

“Oh my God, are you kidding me?” asked Cas.

“What? College was created with the sole purpose of letting the young experiment with their minds and bodies,” answered Gabe.

“So what? You just went and had sex with a guy because you wanted to experiment with your body?” asked Cas.

“No, I mean… I was curious… like, ‘what if I’m gay or bi and I don’t know it?’ curious… So I gave it a try… a couple of times,” answered Gabriel.

“And?” asked Cas.

“Oh, I’m not gay… or bi, but I had a good time and I really experienced a lot of weird stuff that year I spent studying in France.” Cas just stared at his brother with wide eyes.

“Were you planning on telling me any of this? I mean, every time I ask about your year in France you just answer ‘oh well, you know… it was very… French,’ and then change the subject,” said Cas.

“Well now you know it… I slept with two different guys… and I can’t remember how many girls to be honest… I tried heavy drugs too,” said Gabe.

“Good to know,” said Cas. They remained silent for a couple of minutes. Just when he thought he knew his brother perfectly he ends up discovering something new… And what the hell? Even Gabe who was straight (ish?) had had sex with men; this was just getting ridiculous.

“What’s in your mind?” asked Gabe after a while.

“Does it hurt?” asked Cas suddenly.

“Umm… no, I mean... if you prepare things like umm properly then it doesn’t. The first time it does a little, I mean, it’s something new for your body but umm once you get the hang of it you have a really good time,” he answered.

“Okay,” said Cas.

“Any other question?”

“No, I think you gave me a lot to process for the moment, thank you though, really,” answered Cas with a smile.

“Okay, I have to leave in half an hour, do you need anything? Pills? Sponge bath?” asked Gabe.

“No, thank you… I’m fine… well, can you hand me a pair of pajama pants? They’re on the last drawer of that dresser,” he said pointing at the dresser.

“Sure thing, any pair in particular?” asked Gabe standing up.

“Adventure time,” answered Cas. Gabe grabbed the pants and handed them to his brother then he grabbed the tray with the empty bowl,

“Okay, I’ll go wash the dishes and clean the kitchen,” said Gabe.

“I’ll be with you in a minute,” answered Cas. Gabe nodded and walked out of the room.

  

* * *

Dean walked into the apartment a little after 5 pm carrying a big box of pizza and a Tupperware with the carrot cupcakes; he placed the food on the kitchen and walked towards his room to check on Cas.

Castiel was sitting on his bed wearing only a pair of pajamas and with his computer over his legs; he looked like he was reading something.

“Hi Cas,” said Dean.

“Hello Dean,” answered Cas with a big smile; he closed his computer and placed it on the bedside table.

“How are you feeling?” asked Dean.

“Fine, Gabe came to visit, he cooked me a vegetables soup and kept me company for a while, it was nice,” said Cas.

“Sorry I told him about your accident, I thought he knew already,” said Dean taking off his shoes.

“It’s fine, they would end up finding out eventually, I don’t think I can hide these from my dad during the trip,” said Cas pointing at his bruises and then lifting his arm. Dean smiled and placed a soft kiss on Cas’s cheek.

“You in the mood for taking Nik for a walk?” asked Dean.

“Do I have to change my pants?” asked Cas.

“I think 5:30 pm is a perfectly acceptable hour to wear pajama pants on the street,” said Dean.

“Great, I’ll just put on a shirt then, I could really use some fresh air after being here the whole day,” Cas stood up carefully and put on his sneakers. Then he walked towards his dresser and grabbed a black shirt, “okay, lets go.”

* * *

 

After taking Nik for a walk (which basically consisted in letting him run like crazy on the sidewalk outside the building for a couple of minutes), they returned to the apartment. The moment Cas put a step into the living room he took off his shirt. Dean looked at him raising an eyebrow.

“I hate the feeling of fabric touching my bruises,” said Cas.

“Wanna take your pills?” asked Dean.

“No, it’s too early, I have to wait a couple of hours and I discovered they make me sleepy, so it’s a good thing I only have to take them for another day,” said Cas.

“Does it hurt a lot?” asked Dean staring at Cas’s bruises.

“It hurt’s but it’s not that bad… did I ever tell you that I had a cracked rib when I was 6?”

“What? Really?” asked Dean. They walked towards the kitchen.

“Yes, a bully pushed me and I fell from the stairs in school,” said Cas. They sat down at the table and opened the pizza box.

“Did I know him?” asked Dean grabbing a slice of pizza.

“No, they expelled him and his friends from school when one of them confessed what happened,” answered Cas.

“Wow, that sucks,” said Dean.

“ Yes, but it’s in the past and thanks to that now I know how painful a cracked rib can be, so it could be worst,”

“Such an optimist,” joked Dean.

After the pizza they shared the carrot muffins,

“These are amazing,” said Cas after his second muffin,

“I know, I need to ask the recipe to Bess… we need to share this with Gabe,” said Dean.

“I’ll save two and share them with my father and Gabriel tomorrow,” said Cas.

After the third muffing each, Cas decided to close the Tupperware and put it away,

“I could roll to bed,” said Dean.

“You need to brush your teeth,”

“Okay, I’m brushing my teeth and then I’m rolling to bed,” Dean stood up and walked towards the bathroom. Cas took his pills and then went to brush his teeth as well.

* * *

 

“Guess we’re going to bed early today,” said Dean lying next to Cas.

“Hmmm,” answered Cas,

“Pills already kicking in?” asked Dean with a smile.

“Yeah,” said Cas with a yawn.

“You should sleep, good night babe,” said Dean; he turned off the lamp next to him.

“Good night Dean… thanks for everything,” said Cas dragging his words. Dean didn’t know what his boyfriend meant; he just giggled and placed a kiss on Cas’s shoulder.

* * *

“We really need to figure out a new plan for Saturdays,” said Dean while driving Cas to Chuck’s.

“What do you mean?” asked Cas.

“Well, on Saturdays we spend the day with our families and you’re my family too and I want to spend it with you but I don’t want to leave Bobby alone… and I’m pretty sure Bobby would love to have you on Saturdays too, he’s always asking me about you,” said Dean.

“You’re right… I haven’t seen him in a while… what about this? The Saturday after I come back from New York we can have breakfast at Bobby’s and then spend the afternoon at my dad’s… we can alternate, sometimes breakfast at my dad’s sometimes at Bobby’s, that way we get to see them both and share time with our families,” said Cas.

“You’re a fucking genius,” said Dean with a smile.

“I know,” answered Cas with a smirk. Dean parked outside Chuck’s house and Cas opened his door.

“Okay, see you tonight, I love you,” said Cas, he turned around and even though the motion made his bruises ache, he got closer to Dean and planted a kiss on his lips. Dean returned the kiss eagerly. They stopped kissing after a few seconds and Dean smiled,

“I love you too babe,” he said.

* * *

 

“Bobby, I’m home!” yelled Dean while walking into Bobby’s kitchen, “oh, hi Sammy.” Bobby was sitting at the table with his laptop in front of him; Sam waved on the screen.  
“Hi Dean,” said Sam.

“Hello kid, glad you’re finally here, I need to talk with both of you,” said Bobby.

“Okay?” said Dean a little confused. He walked towards the coffeemaker and poured some coffee in a cup then he took a seat next to Bobby.

“Okay, shoot,” said Dean after taking a swig from his coffee.  
  
“Last night I got a call from John’s lawyer… apparently your dad left some money on our behalf,” said Bobby.

“What?” asked Dean.

“Are you sure? Dad didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would have savings,” said Sam.

“I was surprised too, but he left us money… and a lot of money,” said Bobby.

“How much?” asked Dean.

“600… thousand dollars,” said Bobby.

“Son of a bitch,” whispered Dean.

“Six h… wow, that’s a lot of money…” said Sam passing a hand through his hair.

“How in the hell did dad manage to get all that money? Is it even good money?” asked Dean.

“I asked the same question to the lawyer but turns out it is good money… your dad saved an old lady from being robbed four years ago in Maine, it even was in the papers, the lawyer send me a link… and well the point is that the lady was rich and she was really grateful with your father after he helped her, they kept in contact and last year when she died of a heart attack your dad found out that she’d left him some money,” explained Bobby.

“This money,” said Dean.

“Yeah… she left him a bit more but he saved this part for us, the lawyer said that as soon as John got the money he asked him to take care of all that legal shit and make sure that we, or just you if I was already gone, got that money when he died,”

 

“But why was he working at a freaking country club as a handyman if he had all that money,” asked Sam,

“He spent all his money, didn’t he?” asked Dean.

“Yeah, the lawyer said he asked him for more money from the trust fund but legally the lawyer couldn’t do anything, that belonged to us… so John had to go back to work,” said Bobby.

“So we get 200 each then?” asked Sam.

“Yeah,” said Bobby.

“I don’t know if I want his money,” said Dean.

“Dean, that money belongs to us, it is good money and I don’t know about you but I could totally use it to pay college,” said Sam.

“You have a point there,” said Dean.

“I could pay the mortgage of the house,” said Bobby.

“You know what? Fuck it… I could finally pay what’s left of my college loan and save the rest for my future, I don’t know, get a house with Cas eventually,” said Dean.

“So what do we do now?” asked Sam.

“I’ll talk to the lawyer, he said it would be a mere formality, that money is already ours,” said Bobby.

“Cool,” said Dean.

“Okay,” said Sam, “oh and Bobby, can you send me the link of the incident with the old lady?” he asked,

“Sure son… let me get my phone,” Bobby stood up and walked out of the kitchen.

“So… how’s Cas? Bobby told me about the accident,” said Sam.

“He’s fine, a little sore but he’s doing okay,” said Dean.

“I’m glad… and how about you?” asked Sam.

“Good… with a lot of work and bracing myself to be boyfriend-less for a week,” said Dean with a smirk.

“You’re so whipped,” said Sam. As if on cue Dean could hear Jess yell on the distance,

“Sam, I won’t say it again! Breakfast is ready,”

“Coming!” answered Sam,

“You were saying?” asked Dean laughing. Bobby walked back into the kitchen,

“I just sent you the link Sam,” he said.

“Thanks Bobby, I better go, the guys are gonna eat my pancakes,” said Sam waving goodbye.

“Okay, see you later boy, take care,” said Bobby.

“See ya Sammy, say hi to everyone,” said Dean.

“Sure thing, bye guys,” said Sam before ending the call.

Bobby closed his laptop and walked towards the stove.

“You hungry?” he asked.

“Yeah, c’mon I’ll help you cook,” said Dean standing up.

 

* * *

 

“Read this,” said Dean handing Cas a paper. Cas grabbed the sheet and read it while Dean drove back to the apartment.

**Passerby saves Giovanna Rosso from armed robbery**

**Giovanna Rosso, a renowned art critic from New York City flew to Maine last week as a special guest of an exclusive art exhibit. Yesterday while she waited for her car outside her hotel, a man with a gun approached her and asked her to follow him, “He was hiding the gun between his jacket, he first asked me the hour and when I looked at my phone he pulled the gun carefully so the staff from the hotel wouldn’t notice, he told me to walk with him or he would kill me and everyone around,” declared Rosso.**

**The robber – now identified as Joshua Davis, 37- lead Mrs. Rosso to a dark alley a few blocks away from the hotel, “I gave him my purse, my phone and my earrings, but he wanted my ring too, my late husband gave me that ring when we got engaged, it is the most valuable thing I own, so of course I refused to give it to him,” She said. Right in that moment a man, who asked to be identified just as ‘John,’ was walking by the street, “I heard someone crying, a woman; she was asking to be left alone and then I heard the guy saying ‘gimme the ring you old bitch,’ at first I thought it was a couple fighting or something like that but that’s not a way to talk to a lady, I followed the voices and saw the guy pointing at her with a gun,” declared John.**

**John tried to call 911 but his phone had died so instead he turned into a hero, “I grabbed a glass bottle I found on the ground and walked slowly towards the guy, he was screaming so he didn’t hear me; I smashed his head with the bottle and told her to run. The guy dropped the gun and then tried to fight back but I punched him on the face a couple of times and knocked him out,” said the heroic man.**

**Mrs. Rosso ran to the hotel and immediately asked for help. The police showed up at the scene within minutes. “We’ve identified the robber and we’re taking him to the police station right now, he has a few wounds but he’ll be fine. Mrs. Rosso is pressing charges and we’re pretty sure he’s related to at least a couple of robberies that happened last month,” declared Blaine Johnson, chief of the police department.**

“I’ve heard of this lady, I think she died last year though,” said Cas.

“Yeah, well it turns out she left some money to the guy who saved her,” said Dean trying not to smile.

“And how do you know about it?” asked Cas squinting his eyes.

“Well that guy, ‘John’… his full name was John Winchester,” said Dean.

“Your dad?” asked Cas with wide eyes.

“Yeah, she left him a shitload of money,” said Dean.

“How much?”

“Almost a million,” said Dean.

“Wow, and how do you know that?” asked Cas.

“A lawyer contacted Bobby yesterday... Bobby, Sammy and I got some money from dad… 200 grand each,” said Dean with a wide smile.

“Oh my god, Dean… that’s… wow,” Cas was smiling now too, “I’m so happy for you,”

“I can finally pay what’s left of my college loan, and start saving for our future… and maybe buy a life-size TARDIS to put in the studio, just because,” said Dean.

“That sounds great,” said Cas. Dean parked on their building parking lot and they got out of the Car.

“Does Nik need to go?” asked Dean.

“No, he’s fine, he already did it at my dad’s backyard,” said Cas.

“Okay then, lets go upstairs,” Dean took Cas’s hand and they walked together towards the elevator.

* * *

 

Sunday was spent cleaning up the apartment. Dean cooked homemade pizza and Cas worked for a couple of hours in the studio.

“Cas babe, Tamika and Meg said they could take care of that, you need to rest,” said Dean leaning on the doorframe.

“I’ll just send them this file and that’s it, I promise,” said Cas. Dean smiled and walked towards his boyfriend. Cas smiled at him. Dean ruffled his hair and placed a kiss on the top of his head.

“You’re a freaking workaholic,” said Dean.

“Sometimes,” said Cas with a smirk. The computer made a sound to let him know that the file had been sent and he finally proceeded to turn it off.

“C’mon, you sent your e-mail now it’s time for some Mario Kart,” said Dean with a smile.

“And homemade pizza,” said Cas.

“Of course,” Cas stood up and followed Dean to the kitchen.

They took their pizza to the living room and sat on the beanbag chairs to play Mario Kart. They played for a few of hours, only pausing for a bathroom break for Dean and for Cas to take the dishes to the kitchen.

Before they realized it, it was already 9:30 pm.

“Jesus, we spent the whole day playing video games,” said Dean stretching. Cas lifted his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

“Life goals,” said Cas.

“C’mon we should probably take Nik for a walk,” said Dean. He stood up and then helped Cas to stand up as well. They took the little dog for a walk around the block. Cas felt relaxed and ready to start his week.

“I’m going to Kraken tomorrow,” said Cas.

“Babe, you need to rest,” said Dean.

“I know, and I promise, I wont overdo it, but I want to help my team. It’s the only day of the week that I’ll be able to go,” said Cas.

“You’re not going on Tuesday?” asked Dean.

“No, I need to finish packing, relax and spend some time with my boyfriend,” said Cas.

“Sounds great,” said Dean.

They returned to the apartment. Cas washed the dishes while Dean took a shower. While he was washing the dishes he kept thinking about his talk with Gabe, _‘You really should talk to Dean, let him know how you really feel… he loves you Cas, he’ll understand.’_ Gabriel’s words kept roaming his mind.

“Oh man, that shower was just what I needed to end this day, I’m ready to go to bed and cuddle with my favorite person in the world,” said Dean walking into the kitchen while drying his hair with a towel. He was only wearing a pair of gray boxer briefs. Cas finished drying the last plate and turned around, he stared at his boyfriend for a couple of seconds and then shook his head.

“That actually sounds like a good idea, I’m taking a shower too,” said Cas. A shower would be perfect to help him relax and make up his mind. He walked towards Dean and gave him a quick peck on the lips then he walked towards their room.

* * *

 

The warm water against his skin immediately relaxed his muscles. He washed his hair and made a mental note to pay a visit to Missouri on Tuesday to get a haircut. He kept thinking about what Gabriel had said. Knowing that Dean was willing to wait and to give him his space made Cas feel a lot more comfortable. Dean was a great boyfriend and he deserved to know that he was wanted, that Cas wanted to be with him on a physical way, it might take them some time, but Gabe was right, Dean would understand and help Cas. After the shower he put on a pair of blue boxer briefs and he proceeded to dry his messy hair. He looked himself in the mirror and whispered,

“You can do this Castiel.”

* * *

 

Dean was sitting up on their bed, leaning against the headboard and reading a book when Cas walked into the room brushing his hair,

“Ready for bed?” asked Dean,

“Yes, you were right, a shower was the perfect way to finish this day,” said Cas with a smile. He left his hairbrush over his dresser and climbed into bed. The weather was too hot to wear pajamas and maybe the lack of pants would go perfectly with what he was about to tell Dean.

“How did you feel without your painkillers today?” asked Dean closing his book.

“Fine, it still hurts but I can manage, I’m pretty sure by the time I have to leave to New York it wont bother me anymore,” said Cas looking at his bruises.

“And the arm?” asked Dean.

“Scratchy sometimes, but I’ll live,” said Cas with a smile. Dean nodded and placed his book on the bedside table. Cas got closer to Dean and placed a kiss on his cheek, “I love you so much Dean, you make me really happy,” said Cas.

Dean smiled and cupped Cas’s cheek with his hand; he placed a soft kiss on Castiel’s lips. Cas smiled and locked eyes with Dean; he could only see love and happiness in those bright green eyes.

“Dean,” said Cas after clearing his throat.

“Yeah?” asked Dean; Cas crossed his legs and sat up straight; Dean looked at him with a curious glare,

“I umm… I want to have sex with you,” said Cas trying really hard not to blush and to keep eye contact with Dean.

“Oh, wow, Cas… like, right now?” asked Dean a little shocked.

“No, I… I would like to talk about a few things first, I just want you to know that, maybe a few days ago I led you to believe that I don’t want you in that way… but umm… I do, I’ve never done it before and I’m scared but I want to do it, and I want to do it with you… obviously,” said Cas.

“Cas you don’t have to…”

“Dean, I want to okay… not today but I want it to happen soon, I don’t want my anxiety and my insecurities to intervene with my happiness,” said Cas. Dean got closer to him and gave him a kiss on the shoulder.

“Babe, what’s most important here is that we’re both in the same page, you said you wanted to talk about a few things, so lets talk… remember that we were best friends before this relationship, you’re still my best friend, you can tell my anything,” said Dean.

“Well,” said Cas, he took a deep breath, “first, I want us to get tested, for STDs… as a precaution,”

“Okay, I think it’s fair… we can go tomorrow morning if you want, before I drop you at your office,” said Dean.

“Great, thank you,” said Cas.

“What else is in your mind?” asked Dean.

“I umm, I’m a little worried about my sensory issues, you know? I mean,” he stretched his arm and lightly brushed his fingers over Dean’s arm, “I’m used to the touch of your skin, but there a lot of sensations that will be new for me, and that scares me a little,” confessed Cas.

“Cas, we can stop at any time if you feel uncomfortable, okay? I wont get mad or sad; all I want is for you to be happy; I want you to enjoy it okay? If you don’t like it I’m okay with it, I’ll never force you to do anything you don’t like,”

“Okay,” said Cas with a shy smile, “there’s… there’s something else and I think that’s what stresses me the most,” admitted cas.

“What is it?” asked Dean.

“What if you don’t like it? I mean… you’re experienced in that area and I’ve never done it before, what if I’m not good at it and you hate it?” asked Cas clearly worried.

“Cas, breathe,” said Dean, he held Cas’s hand between his and waited a few seconds for Cas to calm down, “babe, first of all, that’s … how do I put it? Look, this is new for me too okay? I’ve been with a lot of people, yes, but I’ve never done it with someone I really love… I kinda remember a friend of mine once told me that when you find ‘the one’, it doesn’t matter what you did in your life, how many people you’ve been with, because when you find that person… from that moment on, everything in your life changes and everything you do with that person is special.” Cas blushed and hid his face on Dean’s chest. Dean smiled and kissed the top of his head.

“Thanks for loving me and accepting me the way I am,” said Cas in a whisper.

“Are you kidding me? Thanks for being who you are Cas, thanks for being the one,” answered Dean, “is there anything else you wanna talk about?” he asked.

“I guess more questions will arise eventually, but I’m fine for now,” said Cas sitting up again.

“You know we can talk of anything whenever you want, okay?” asked Dean.

“Yes,” said Cas; he stretched and placed a soft kiss on Dean’s lips.

“We should sleep now, we gotta leave earlier tomorrow to stop by the lab,” said Dean.

“You’re right, good night Dean,” said Cas taking his position on bed. Dean set the alarm 20 minutes earlier and then turned off the lamp.

“Good night Cas,” said Dean placing a kiss on the back of Cas’s neck, “hey, want me to tell you a secret… I’ve never told this to anyone,” he said. Cas turned around and grimaced when his bruises made contact with the blankets.

“What is it?” asked Cas.

“You asked me the other day when did I realize that I had feelings for you… and I told you about when we were sixteen and the incident with Sam’s dog,” said Dean.

“Yeah,”

“Well, there’s a big difference between the moment I realized that I had feelings for you… and the moment I realized that I wasn’t as straight as I thought…” said Dean with a smirk.

“You had weird dreams with Han Solo?” asked Cas.

“Yeah, what I’m about to tell you happened a few months before the weird dreams with Han Solo,” said Dean.

“Oh my God,” whispered Cas.

“Do you remember Rhonda Hurley?” asked Dean.

“Yes, she was with us in school and she took your virginity,” answered Cas.

“Yeah, well… the thing is, when it happened it wasn’t as cool as I told you it was, I got her really upset and she kicked me out of her house,”

“Jesus, what did you do?” asked Cas confused; when they were younger Dean had shared with him and Benny the story of how he’d slept with the hottest girl in school. Benny had been so jealous, Rhonda only dated guys from the football team and for some miracle she had started to date Dean.

“Well, everything was going fine, I mean it was my first time and I was freaking doing it with Rhonda Hurley so I was a little freaked out… and when I was about to, umm, you know…”

“Accomplish orgasm?”

“Yeah, well… I kinda yelled your name like twice,” said Dean.

“What?” asked Cas.

“It just happened, I was there and suddenly all I could see was your freaking face and your eyes and it… it just happened; I didn’t have time to freak out in that moment though, she was super upset because she thought I was talking about Cassie Robinson, I mean, you weren’t at school anymore, we were 15 so she thought I was thinking about Cassie,”

“Oh my God, Dean… that fight between Rhonda and Cassie,” said Cas with wide eyes.

“It was crazy man, poor Cassie was just asking me about our freaking English homework and Rhonda went all hulk on her; I had to deal with the guilt and the fact that I had thought about you while I was with a girl… man I couldn’t sleep for days, I spent the whole weekend after that watching lesbian porn and I spent months on denial… it took me a while to come to terms with the fact that I was attracted to boys too and then with the fact that I was attracted to you,” said Dean.

“I don’t know how I should feel about this,” said Cas laughing.

“That’s exactly how I felt for months after that,” said Dean, “and that’s it, now you know the only secret I’ve never told anyone,”

“I am honored,” said Cas.

“Oh shut up, I can’t see in the damn darkness but I know you’re freaking smiling,” said Dean,

“Good night Dean, I love you,”

“Love you too Cas,” answered Dean.

* * *

 

“What’s more romantic than getting tested for STDs with your boyfriend at 8:20 in the morning?” said Dean on their way back to the car.

“Nothing, oh and the look of delight of that lady in the waiting room,” said Cas staring at the Band-Aid covering the crook of his left arm,

“I know, maybe she thought we would infect her with the gay,” said Dean.

“Poor lady, everybody knows that unless a gay bites your neck and drinks your blood you can’t get infected,” said Cas rolling his eyes.

“I can’t believe how uninformed people are these days,” said Dean. He opened Cas’s door and Cas took his seat. Dean closed the door and then walked towards his door, he opened it and sat on the driver’s seat.

“C’mon let’s get out of here before that old lady chases us with a wooden stake or something,” said Dean with a smile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was chapter 28. Like i said at the beginning this story is almost over, i'm trying to work fast on this because i finally got a job and i'm starting on Monday, which means I won't have as much free time as I usually have. Hopefully i'll be able to finish writing by the weekend, the ideas are already in my mind I just need to write them down.
> 
> I wish you have an excellent day and i hope you're liking the story so far. I'm still planing on working on a sequel, though i'll probably write it all first (or at least half of it) and then upload it.


	29. Time to be a child and soak in glittery water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas gets ready to leave to NY. He spends a couple of days at home with Dean, a lot of water is involved. He's feeling more and more comfortable in regards of his physical relationship with Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back! Jesus it feel like forever since i was here, i hate being a responsible adult. I'm pretty sure i'll eventually get into the routine and be able to write during the evenings, it is just so tiring, by the time i come back home from the office all i want to do is take a shower and go to bed, anyway, at least i'm working as an illustrator.
> 
> Anyway, i'm so so sorry it took me this long, i actually thought that this would be the las chapter but i ended up splitting the last chapter in two, so this one is not as long as usually but hey, at least is something. (also, to compensate from by absence i added a lot of fluff to this chapter).
> 
> Thanks a lot for waiting and for your kind words and kudos and all that, you know it means the world to me. 
> 
> A few warnings from this chapter:
> 
> * There's nakedness though nothing descriptive and no sex (i feel i must warn since this fic isn't tagged as smut).  
> * Homophobic behavior (though just a little bit almost at the end and the guys manage to handle the situation just fine).  
> * Mentions of depression.
> 
> I think that's it. So, finally, here's the chapter.

* * *

 

“Nik, buddy… stop licking my face,” said Dean with his eyes still closed. He was having a nice dream about being in a pie-eating contest when he was suddenly woken up by a wet sensation against his face. He opened one eye and grabbed the little dog; he lifted the dog and placed him over Castiel’s back, “there, go bother Cas,” said Dean trying to go back to sleep. Almost a minute later he could hear Castiel grunting,

“Nikola Tesla, I’m asleep, go play with Dean,” said Cas with a husky voice. Dean grabbed the covers and wrapped himself like a burrito,

“C’mon Cas, wake up and take him outside,” said Dean laughing.

“Hmmm, no you do it, I’m sleeping, ” answered Cas yawning. The little dog started to bark.

Dean turned around and got closer to Cas, he stuck his head out of the cover and whispered on Cas’s ear,

“You’re so cute when you’re all grumpy in the morning,” he said. Cas grabbed his pillow and covered his head.

“Okay, okay… I get it…” said Dean sitting up, “I’ll take him out, be right back,” he said. Dean put on an old pair of sweatpants and took Nik outside; he was practically sleepwalking. The little dog ran happily on the sidewalk.

“C’mon man, do your business, if we hurry up I can go back to sleep,” said Dean with a yawn.

It was a Tuesday, Cas would be leaving to New York next day so they had taken the day off from their works; they had also gone to bed at 4:30 am after an Agents of SHIELD marathon and a make out session, hence being woken up at 7:30 in the morning by Nik was basically a crime.

“We should try buying you a litter box, or diapers,” said Dean. The dog barked and Dean proceeded to pick up his ‘little present’ with a plastic bag, “c’mon man, I’ll take you for a walk later, right now I could totally go back to bed,” he picked up the dog and went back upstairs.

When Dean returned to bed Cas was in the exact position as he was the moment Dean left. Dean smiled and soaked in the moment, he knew Cas would only be gone for a week but he would miss him. He took off his sweatpants and climbed back in bed.

* * *

 

Dean woke up again at 9:07 am; Cas was still sleeping. Dean got out of bed and started the coffeemaker and the kettle. He then poured some food in Nik’s bowl. The dog ran excited towards his bowl the moment he heard the rattle of the bag of food.

“Chillax man, Jesus,” said Dean laughing when he saw Nik devouring his food.

He decided to start breakfast and let Cas sleep. He prepared pancakes and bacon. He was pouring his second cup of coffee when Cas walked into the kitchen passing a hand through his hair.

“Good morning sunshine,” said Dean turning around to prepare Cas’s tea. Cass sat at the table and lifted his glasses to rub his eyes.  
“Morning,” he said.

“So staying up late is definitely not a good idea when you have a long day ahead, I feel like shit,” said Dean yawning.

“You weren’t complaining last night when you were shoving your tongue down my throat,” said Cas with a smirk.

“Jesus Cas, someone woke up a little snarky today,” said Dean placing Cas’s cup of tea in front of him. Cas smiled and took a big gulp from his drink, “I like it,” said Dean.

“It smells amazing, did you cook breakfast?” asked Cas.

“Yeah, pancakes and bacon,” said Dean. He handed Cas a plate with his breakfast and then grabbed his and sat in front of Cas.

“Thanks so much for helping me today Dean,” said Cas with a smile.

“No problem babe, you have the list of what you need to do?” asked Dean while pouring maple syrup on his waffles.

“Yes, I have an appointment with Missouri at 12:30, I need to pick up my blue suit from the dry cleaner’s and finish packing. I also promised Charlie I would have dinner with her… and you of course,” said Cas munching a piece of bacon.

“Okay, then… we can finish breakfast, you go and take care of your suitcase while I clean the kitchen and take a shower, then we pick up your suit, go to Missouri’s and come back to relax until dinner,” said Dean.

“Okay,” said Cas with a smile.

* * *

 

“Hello sweethearts,” said Missouri when she saw Dean and Cas walking into her salon. She was wearing a beautiful pink dress.

“Hello Missouri,” said Cas.

“Hi,” greeted Dean.

“You ready for your haircut?” she asked.

“Yes,” said Cas. Missouri pointed at a chair in front of a mirror. Cas nodded and took a seat. Dean sat at a couch at Cas’s left.

“I was starting to think you were aiming for that man bun look honey,” she said while taking his scissors out of a drawer.

“Not really my thing, it was nice leaving it long for a while but I miss my short hair,” said Cas. Missouri smiled and covered his chest with a plastic cape.

“Okay sugar, lets go back to short hair then,” she said with a smile. Cas could hear the sound of the scissors behind him, a few turquoise curls landing over the cape, “so you ready for your big business trip?” she asked.

“I think so, I mean, the fact that my father’s books are already popular and bestsellers really helps me to think that they probably won’t slam our new idea in our faces,” he said.

“Cas your drawings are beautiful, I still have that angel you painted for me when you were 13, I promise they’re gonna love your work,” she said.

“It would be like a dream come true,” said Cas with a smile.  
  
“When is the meeting?” she asked,

“We have three meetings actually, one this Friday, another one on Tuesday and then if everything goes fine we have a final one on Thursday,”

“Look at you, a business man,” said Missouri. Cas saw her take the little hair shaver; she got closer to Cas’s back and kept working. The constant buzz of the machine used to make Cas giggle when he was a kid.

“Okay, we’re done,” she informed them. She cleaned cas’s neck with a soft brush and then took of the cape.

“Wow babe, looking hot,” said Dean with a wide smile. Cas stared at his hair on the mirror and smiled at Dean’s words; it had been a while since he had his hair this short.

“My head feels lighter,” he said, “I like it, thank you Missouri,” he said.

“You’re welcome sugar,” Cas walked towards her and have her a hug.

“I’ll let you know what happens in New York,” he said.

“You’re gonna do great Cas, I know it,” she said winking. She let go of him but held his right hand, “All I see here is success Castiel, happiness and love and success,” she said. Cas looked at the palm of his hand, all he could see were lines, but he trusted Missouri, she’d never lied to him,

“Thanks again Missouri,” he said. He took out his wallet from his pocket to pay for the haircut,

“No way, take this as a gift, okay? A gift to wish you luck in your trip,” she said with a smile.

“You’re very kind Missouri, thanks for being so supportive,” said Cas.

“C’mon Cas, we should probably go, there’s a lot of people waiting downstairs for Missouri,” said Dean.

“Goodbye Dean, I hope to see you soon,”

“I’ll drop by next week, I need a haircut too,” said Dean.

“Good, see you next week then,” answered Missouri. They said goodbye once more and then left the room. Cas kept smiling and passing a hand through his hair the whole walk to the car.

* * *

 

Dean placed the plastic bags on the kitchen counter and then proceeded to unload everything from the bags.

“So, by your choice of ingredients I’m guessing we’re having Italian tonight?” he asked when Cas walked into the kitchen carrying more bags.

“I’m cooking lasagna,” said Cas with a big smile.

“Awesome,” said Dean, “I still don’t get why’d we buy this much food if you’re not gonna be around for a week,” said Dean.

“A week and two days… it actually occurred to my that I could cook some of your favorite dishes and freeze them, that way you don’t have to survive from takeaway while I’m gone,”

“Dude, I appreciate the gesture but I can cook,” said Dean.

“Yes, but when you get out of work all you want to do is eat and you don’t care if it is a homemade meal or if it’s a 7/11 hotdog, this way you can come home take something out of the freezer and presto,” said Cas.

“You have a point there… but still, I don’t want you to feel like you need to take care of me… I don’t want you to feel like a housewife or something like that,” said Dean getting closer to Cas.

“Dean I don’t mind taking care of you, we’re a couple, sometimes I take care of you, sometimes you take care of me… but now that you mention it, we could actually cook together,” said Cas; he placed a quick kiss on Dean’s cheek.

“Awesome, I love how that sounds,” said Dean with a smile. He cupped Cas’s cheek with his hand and kissed him softly on the lips. Cas smiled into the kiss and reciprocated right away. Dean moved his hands and ran them through Cas’s hair, he had forgotten about the haircut and it felt a little weird.

“You know what?” asked Dean once they’d pulled apart.

“What?” asked Cas scratching the back of his neck.

“I just realized, I had never kissed you before…” he passed a hand through Cas’s hair, “with your hair short,” he said.

“Wow, you’re right… such a sentimentalist Winchester,” said Cas with a smirk.

“Oh shut up, now I have to get used to it,” said Dean with a smirk.

“Well I think I can help you with that,” said Cas locking eyes with Dean.

“Really?” asked Dean.

“Yes,” said Cas scratching his left ear.

Dean smiled and closed the small distance between them; he placed one hand on Cas’s hip and with the other one he played with Cas’s hair. After a few seconds Cas pushed him a little. Dean opened his eyes and looked at Cas curiously.

“Wait,” said Cas. He started scratching his neck. Dean burst into laughter.

“C’mon, go take a shower before you hurt yourself,” said Dean.

“I’m sorry… it’s just, the hairs… I feel itchy,” said Cas blushing.

“Yeah, I know Cas,” said Dean with a smile, “go take a shower and I’ll finish putting all this stuff in the pantry, okay?” asked Dean.  
  
“Okay… we’ll continue with this later,” said Cas.

“Deal,” answered Dean. Cas turned around and ran towards the bathroom.

* * *

 

“Babe, can you open the oven please?” asked Dean holding a pie in his hands.

Cas turned around and opened the oven door as fast as he could. Dean placed the pie inside and then closed the door.

“Okay, pie’s ready, chicken parmesan, pasta, roast beef, vegetables soup, those awesome chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs… I think I can perfectly survive through this week,” said Dean with a smile.

“Perfect,” said Cas while working on his lasagna.

“Need help with that?” Asked Dean.

“No, It’s fine, I’m almost done,” said Cas with a smile.

“Okay, I’ll clean this then,” said Dean looking at his surroundings; the kitchen was a mess.

“Thank you,” said Cas.

By the time Dean finished cleaning the kitchen Cas had already placed the lasagna in the oven.

“Okay, now we need to make time until that’s ready,” said Dean whipping sweat from his forehead.

“Oh I have a perfect idea of how we can spend that time,” said Cas. Dean smirked and walked towards his boyfriend. Right in that moment Cas’s phone alerted him of an e-mail. He grabbed the phone and checked his inbox, “Hey, no work e-mails, especially when we’re about to make out,” said Dean with a smirk. He grabbed Cas’s waist and pulled him closer,

“Ouch,” said Cas touching his bruises automatically.

“Oh, crap, crap, crap… sorry babe, I forgot, sorry, shit,” said Dean letting go of Cas.

“It’s okay… it doesn’t hurt that much anymore, I swear,” said Cas.

“I’m sorry Cas,” said Dean once more, “go on, read your mail,”

“It’s not from work… it’s from the clinic, our tests results,” said Cas showing his phone to Dean.

 

“Oh, well that was fast,” said Dean. Cas tapped the screen of his phone a couple of times and then read in silence for a few seconds.

“Hmm,” was the only sound he made,

“Well?” asked Dean.

“We’re both clean,” said Cas.

“High five,” said Dean lifting his arm. Cas started to laugh and followed the instruction.

“You look relieved, where you worried?” asked Cas,

“No, I mean, I know I’ve done some stupid shit in my life but I always use protection man,” said Dean,

“So you’ve never had unprotected sex, ever?” asked Cas a little surprised,

“Boy Scout’s honor,” said Dean winking,

“You’re a dork,” said Cas laughing.

“Yeah, a ‘free of STD’s dork’… now c’mon we were about to make out, remember?” said Dean taking Cas’s hand and pulling him towards the living room. They sat next to each other on the couch.

“I love you Dean,” said Cas smiling.

“I love you too Cas,” said Dean. He got closer to Cas and pressed a soft kiss on his lips, the kiss continued slowly, Dean was being really careful with Cas’s bruises this time. Cas pushed Dean a little and Dean getting the message leaned against the couch seat. Cas climbed on top of him and began to kiss him. They remained like that for a while, lazily making out and enjoying the moment.

Eventually they heard a knock on the door; Cas stopped kissing Dean reluctantly and stood up. Dean remained lying on the couch. Cas walked towards the door and opened it,

“Hi Cas,” said Charlie with a big smile.

“Hello Charlie,” said Cas; he let Charlie in and then closed the door,

“Hi Dean,” she waved at Dean who was sitting up on the couch; she noticed that his hair was a mess and his lips, just like Cas’s, seemed redder than usual but she decided to ignore the subject.

“Hey Red, nice seeing you,” said Dean with a smile.

“Ready to get this party started?” asked Charlie grinning.

“If by party you mean eating a shitload of lasagna and play videogames, of course,” said Dean standing up.

“Awesome,” said Dean with a smile.

“I’ll go check if the lasagna is ready,” said Cas walking towards the kitchen, “you guys pick the game,”

“So, what do you wanna play?” Asked Dean walking towards his huge collection of videogames.

“I was thinking this morning, do you remember this old PlayStation game… um, Crash Bandicoot?” asked Charlie.

“You kidding me? Man, I was obsessed with that shit, Cas had the first 3 games when we were kids, Jesus, the amount of time we wasted playing,” said Dean with a huge smile.

“I would love to play that again, I think I’m gonna try to find an old PlayStation on craigslist, but then of course I would have to find the games and… what are you doing?” Asked Charlie when she saw Dean opening the cabinet where they kept their consoles,

“Cas had the first 3 games when we were kids, now we have the first five,” said Dean taking the PlayStation out of the cabinet and a small wooden box from behind it, “it’s one of our most sacred possessions in the world, but since we like you we might actually let you play today,” said Dean.

“OH MY GOD!” Charlie started jumping in excitement, “this is gonna be awesome,” she said.

“What’s gonna be awesome?” Asked Cas walking into the living room,

“Charlie was asking me if I remembered this old game, Crash Bandicoot,” said Dean. Cas smiled,

“Wow Charlie, Dean really must like you, he doesn’t share those with anyone,” said Cas.

“Guys I really love you, now can we please play?” she asked.

“Don’t you want to have dinner first?” asked Cas. Right in that moment Charlie’s stomach made a loud noise,

“Okay, you’re probably right,” she said. She followed Cas to the kitchen while Dean set up the console.

* * *

 

“Cas, the lasagna was incredible,” said Charlie rubbing her belly,

“Thank you,” said Cas with a smile.

“There’s pie too,” said Dean. He stood up and grabbed the pie from the counter.

“Jesus, I’m gonna explode,” said Charlie.

“You can skip pie if you want,” said Dean sitting back at the table.

“Are you crazy?” said Charlie while handing a plate to Dean, “I could have a little slice.” Dean laughed and followed his friend’s instruction.

After dinner they went back to the living room to play. They had an incredible time and Dean told Charlie a few stories about their childhood, when they used to play that game all the time.

“And then when Michael walked in and unplugged the PlayStation Gabe lost it, he threw the controller to his face and then Michael punched him and it was crazy… of course when their mother found out she took away the PlayStation and they were grounded for like a month,”

“You too Cas?” asked Charlie.

“Yes, every time one of us did something wrong she would ground us all to teach us a lesson, so I had to spend a month without videogames,” said Cas with a shrug.

“At least that’s what she thought; Cas was still at school back then so we made a ‘study group’ at Bobby’s every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday and we would actually play videogames after homework, Bobby didn’t mind,” said Dean.

“Jesus I wish I could’ve met you back then,” said Charlie.

“Cas was really cute,” admitted Dean.

“I have every single one of Dean’s school pictures, do you want to see them?” said Cas with a smirk.

“Oh my God, that’s evil Novak,” said Dean.

“I would love to see little Dean going through his awkward stage and all that but I better go, you have a stressful day ahead and I know that you’ll need to take a relaxing bath and sleep a lot,” said Charlie standing up, “you can show me the pictures when you come back though,”

Cas and Dean stood up too. They walked downstairs with Charlie since they needed to take Nik out for a while.

“Good bye, Cas… you’re gonna do great,” she said hugging her friend.

“I’ll text you and let you know what happens,” said Cas.

“Don’t be nervous okay? They’re gonna love your idea, your dad’s books sell like freaking beer in a concert, those guys from the publishing companies only think of money and believe me, graphic novels of the ‘devil’s trap series’ are a guaranteed success,” she said. Cas smiled and nodded.

“Thank you, really,” said Cas.

“Well, I better go… see you Dean, maybe we could hang out later this week,” she said.

“Yeah, Benny texted me yesterday, we could grab a couple of beers and some nice burgers on Friday,” he said.

“Sounds great,” Charlie said. She climbed in her car and waved goodbye. Cas and Dean held hands while they watched her leave.

“C’mon lets take this little guy for a walk,” said Dean pulling Cas. They walked to the park where Nik ran and played with another dog. They didn’t stay for long, half an hour later they were walking back home.

 

* * *

 

“Are you gonna take a bath?” asked Dean when they walked into the apartment.

“Yes, a relaxing bath is exactly what I need before my trip,” said Cas smiling.

“Okay, I’ll wash the dishes and then send a some e-mails and invoices while you do that,” said Dean.

“I’ll help you with the dishes,” said Cas walking towards the kitchen.

“No, it’s fine,” said Dean.

“That way you can finish faster and then send your e-mails,” said Cas.

“Okay, I wash you dry, that okay?” asked Dean.

“Fine,” said Cas. Dean smiled and kissed him on the forehead.

* * *

 

They washed the dishes enjoying each other company; Cas told Dean about all his favorite places in New York City,

“Oh and the MoMa, I could spend a whole week in there, I love it,” said Cas with a huge smile, “I hope we have time to visit it,”

“You’ll have free days between meetings so you’ll probably be able to be a tourists,” said Dean.

“Yes, you’re right, although it is a little weird going out with my father because he gets recognized sometimes and we have to stop so he can sign autographs and take pictures,” said Cas.

“That’s probably gonna be your life pretty soon,” said Dean.

“Yes, I’m aware of that… I’ll just try to keep living a normal life, I can work on the books perfectly from this city,” said Cas.

“Well if we need to change some thing in our lives we’ll make sure that it happens slowly and that we’re both comfortable with those changes okay?” asked Dean. He finished washing the last plate and turned off the water.

“As long as you’re with me,” said Cas handing a towel to Dean.

“Always babe,” said Dean. Cas smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his boyfriend’s lips.

“Okay, we’re done with the dishes now I’ll go take my bath,” said Cas.

“Fine, I’ll go send those mails,” said Dean. He placed a kiss on Cas’s cheek and turned around to leave the kitchen.

“Wait,” said Cas.

“What is it?” asked Dean with a curious expression.

“I umm…” Cas started scratching his hand and he blushed.

“What’s going on?” asked Dean.

“Do you want to join me?” asked Cas.

“Like, in your bath?” asked Dean with wide eyes.

“No, I mean… I would like that but the bathtub isn’t big enough … it’s not that I don’t want to share a bath with you sometime, it’s just that…”

“Relax Cas, I know you’re about to experience a stressful week and the last thing you need is to have a stressful bath, I get it… what did you mean when you asked me to join you then?” said Dean.

“I think my petition is going to sound ridiculous,” said Cas looking at the floor, “but, um… would you mind checking your e-mails in the bathroom while I take my bath, I want to spend as much time as possible with you before I have to go,”

“You’re such a romantic dork, of course I wouldn’t mind… care if I use your iPad though?” asked Dean while hugging Cas. Castiel smiled and kissed Dean’s lips.

“It’s not a problem, I left it in the living room,” said Cas.

“Okay, go get your bath ready, I’ll go put on something more comfortable first,” said Dean.

* * *

 

Cas turned on the water and grabbed a bath bomb from under the sink. He found a silver one, shaped like a star and with lavender fragrance. He picked that and threw it into the water. He took off his clothes and then got in the water.

“Cas, I’m coming in, that okay?” asked Dean. Cas stayed silent for a few seconds. He took a deep breath and nodded, only to remember that Dean was on the other side of the door so he couldn’t see him.

“Yes, come in,” said Cas. Dean opened the door and walked into the bathroom wearing a gray shirt and green pajama pants.

“Wow, your water is silver,” said Dean.

“Umm, yes… I’ve been wanting to use that bath bomb for a while,” said Cas with a smile. Dean looked around trying to find a place to sit. The bathroom wasn’t big so there weren’t many options.  
  
“So… should I sit on the toilet?” Asked Dean.

“I guess, I didn't think about it… there’s not much place to sit in here,” said Cas looking around, “maybe on the edge of the tub?” Dean nodded and walked towards the tub; he sat on the edge.

“Okay then, time to be a responsible adult and work,” said Dean unlocking the iPad.

“Time to be a child and soak in glittery water,” said Cas with a smile. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while. Cas trying to relax and Dean sending his e-mails. Eventually Dean finished his work and he left the bathroom to leave the iPad on their room. When he came back he rolled up his pants,

“May I?” he asked,

“Yes,” said Cas with a huge smile. Dean sat again on the edge of the bathtub but sank his feet in the water.

“Water’s nice,” said Dean.

“Yes, I could stay in here forever,” said Cas sounding clearly relaxed.

“Yeah, I know… I remember every summer, when Bobby and your dad would take us to the lake you would cry whenever we had to go back home,” said Dean with a tender smile.

“I’ve read a few theories that suggest people with autism are drawn to water,” said Cas closing his eyes.

“Really?” asked Dean.

“It makes sense, water is soothing, you hear and feel different under the water, and I don’t know, it’s just so relaxing… but I’ve also read of people with autism that say they don’t like water, not even drinking it… it’s different for everyone I guess, but for me it’s the perfect way to relax,” said Cas.

“Wow,” said Dean staring at the water. They didn’t talk for a while after that. It was comfortable to just sit next to each other and share the peaceful moment.

“The water is getting cold, I think is time for me to get out,” said Cas after almost 15 minutes.

“Okay,” said Dean. He stood up and grabbed a towel that was hanging next to the bathtub; he stepped out of the tub and stood on the mat, then he proceeded to dry his legs with the towel.

“Can you hand me my towel?” Asked Cas standing behind him.

“Sure,” said Dean. He grabbed Cas’s towel and turned around to give the towel to Castiel. Cas stood up in that moment and stretched his arm to grab the towel. It took him a few seconds to realize that he was naked in front of Dean; he also realized that he was cool with it. He was naked in front of Dean Winchester and the world didn’t end. He smiled and grabbed the towel.

“You’re beautiful,” said Dean smiling. Cas wrapped the towel around his waist and then locked eyes with his boyfriend, “when you smile like that… like you just realized that everything’s gonna be alright, like you’re relaxed and comfortable, that’s one of my favorite smiles,”

“You classify my smiles?” Asked Cas. He climbed out of the bathtub and pulled the plug.

“Of course,” said Dean getting closer to Cas, “you have your nervous smile when you’re like 5 seconds away from having a meltdown if you don’t go to a quiet place,” said Dean cupping Cas’s cheek wit his hand, “then there’s the ‘I’m about to eat pizza’ smile, the ‘my boyfriend just did something really cute’ smile… that’s a personal favorite of course,” said Dean. Cas smiled widely at that, “see, that one,”

“I had no idea I had different kind of smiles, I find it difficult to understand people’s expressions most of the time, let alone classify their smiles,” said Cas, “but maybe you’re right,” he said squinting his eyes, “sometimes when you smile I can tell that you’re sad, because you don’t smile with your eyes,” said Cas, “does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” said Dean.

“But right now I can tell that you’re really happy,” said Cas.

“How so?” asked Dean.

“Your eyes, it’s like they have an inner glow,” explained Cas.

“Yeah, well… this is my ‘I’m so in love with my boyfriend and I can’t hide it’ smile,” said Dean. Cas looked into Dean’s eyes for a couple of seconds; most of the time he found it hard to keep eye contact with people, but with Dean it had always been different, he could spend hours staring at his beautiful green eyes. Cas closed the distance between them and planted a soft kiss on Dean’s lips.

“Lets go to bed, we have a long day tomorrow and I want to spend the rest of this night cuddling with the love of my life,” said Cas.

“Excellent,” said Dean. Cas took his hand and pulled him out of the bathroom.

* * *

 

  
“Today was a perfect day,” said Cas. They were facing each other on bed. Dean chuckled and kissed the top of Cas’s head.

“Well, to be honest, every day I spend with you is the perfect day,” said Dean. Cas smiled and nuzzled Dean’s neck.  
  
“You woke up pretty romantic today,” Said Cas with a smile.

“Well, I’m a man in love… plus, you won’t be home for a week, which means that I wont be able to cuddle with you, to kiss you or to tell you I love you while we’re in bed together,” said Dean,

“You should come with me,” said Cas,

“I wish I could but, you know… There’s a lot of work at the garage and someone has to stay here to take care of Nik,” said Dean.

“And of course there’s the fact that you would need to get in a plane to go to New York,” said Cas.

“Yeah, that too,” said Dean smiling, “but I promise, when you become famous and you have to go on your book tours I’ll go with you to every place that’s close enough to drive,”

“Seems fair,” said Cas smiling too.

“I would follow you to the end of the world Cas, as long as I can go driving,”

“I must insist, you’re such a romantic,” said Cas placing a kiss on Dean’s neck.

“You inspire me,” said Dean winking. Cas laughed and stretched to reach Dean’s mouth.

“I love you so much Dean,” whispered Cas before kissing Dean. The Winchester deepened the kiss and pulled Cas closer to his chest.

“Wait,” said Dean after a few seconds, “your bruises,” Cas rolled his eyes and pushed Dean so he would have his back against the mattress then he climbed on top of him.

“May I continue?” asked Cas with a smirk. Dean chuckled and licked his lips,

“Of course,” he said.

“Good,” said Cas closing the distance between his lips and his boyfriend’s.

* * *

 

“Babe, wake up,” said Dean placing a cup of tea on Cas’s bedside table. Cas turned around and covered his face with a blanket. Dean chuckled and walked towards the window to open the curtain,

“C’mon, breakfast is ready,”

“5 more minutes,” said Cas from under the covers,

“Cas, seriously, you need to eat your breakfast, we have to be at the airport at 3 pm,” Cas sat up and threw the blanket away; he squinted at Dean and grabbed his tea from the table,

“We need to stop going to bed at 3am because we’re making out,” said Cas yawning.

“You weren’t complaining last night when you were shoving your tongue down my throat,” said Dean with a smirk,

Cas rolled his eyes and got out of bed; he dragged his feet to the kitchen followed by Dean.

“It smells nice,” said Cas taking his usual seat.

“Made bacon omelets and waffles,” said Dean with a smile; he ruffled Cass’s messy blue hair and walked towards the stove. Cas finished his cup of tea and rubbed his eyes,

“Do you need help with anything?” asked Cas,

“No, everything’s under control,” said Dean placing a plate with an omelet in front of Cas and a plate with a pile of waffles at the center of the table; a few seconds later he returned with the teapot and poured more tea in Cas’s cup; finally he grabbed his plate and took his seat in front of Castiel.

“This is delicious, thank you,” said Cas with a smile while munching his omelet.

“ You’re welcome,” said Dean after taking a sip of his coffee, “so, what’s left to do today? We have to leave the house in about 6 hours,” said Dean looking at his watch.

“I already finished packing my suitcase but I still need to finish my backpack… I want to take Nik for a walk, take a shower, go to the doctor so he can take off my stitches and I think that’s it… I need to buy a new cable for my iPad but there’s a Macstore close to my hotel so I’ll buy it there,”

“Yeah, that’s totally not an excuse to go to the Macstore and buy a shitload of stuff you don’t need,” said Dean with a smile,

“Shut up,” said Cas after sticking his tongue out. Dean chuckled and continued with his breakfast.

“We can take Nik for a walk after we’re done with breakfast if you want,” said Dean.

“Yes, that sound nice,” said Cas.

They finished their food in a comfortable silence and after cleaning the kitchen they took Nik to the park.

* * *

 

Nik played with another pug and a poodle. Cas and Dean let him have fun and they sat at a bench to keep an eye on Nik.

“He yours?” asked a blonde woman on her late 20’s sitting next to them,

“The pug? Yeah,” said Dean,

“He’s cute, what happened to him? An accident?” she asked,

“He was born like that,” Said Cas with a serious expression,

“I think it gives him personality, and he manages it like a champion,” she said with a smile, “those two are mine,” she pointed at the dogs playing with Nik.

“What are their names?” asked Cas feeling more confident now that the lady had talked nicely about Nikola Tesla.

“The little gray mop with legs is Taco and the cute pug is Coco,” she said.

“’S Coco a girl?” asked Dean.

“Yes, she’s almost a year old… your dog seem younger, how old is he?”

“Almost 7 months,” said Cas, “he’s Nikola Tesla by the way,”

“Now that’s a cool name for a dog,” she said giggling, “he’s still too young but maybe he can become Coco’s boyfriend eventually,” she said raising her eyebrows, “I didn’t introduce myself, sorry… I’m Andrea the creep who just asked you guys the hand of your dog in holly matrimony for my dog,”

Cas and Dean smiled at her,

“That would be complicated, given the fact that he already is missing a limb… but we could see what we can do,” said Cas smiling, “I’m Castiel and this is my boyfriend Dean by the way,”

“Well it’s really nice to meet you guys, you seem like nice people and my dogs like you’re dog so now you’re officially my friends from the park,” she said.

“Great, we’ve never made friends at the park before,” said Dean. Right in that moment Andrea received a text; she grabbed her phone and read the message,

“Crap, guys I’m really having a cool time talking with you but my roomie just texted me, she forgot her keys and I need to go and open the apartment for her,” she stood up and whistled to her dogs, “Taco, Coco… c’mon guys, home!” she yelled; her dogs stopped playing with Nik reluctantly and ran towards their owner; Nik followed them right away,

“It was nice meeting you Andrea,” said Cas.

“You too guys, I’m new in this neighborhood and it’s nice meeting new people, I meant what I said, I would love if Nikola Tesla here and Coco could become and item,”

“Well we’ll have to wait and see, he’s still young, but hey… if he starts asking us permission to have a girlfriend you’ll be the first to know,” said Dean.

“Deal,” she said smiling. Her phone alerted her from another text, “okay, I really gotta go, my roommate can be a little impatient, see you around guys,” she put the leashes on their dogs and then she ran towards the other side of the park.

“She seems nice,” said Dean putting the leash on Nik’s collar,

“Yes,” said Cas a little pensive. Dean looked at him and took his hand,

“What’s up?” he asked. They started walking back to the apartment,

“Nothing is just… she left me thinking… I mean, do you think dogs can shut off others dog if they’re different?” asked Cas,

“Like other dogs being mean to Nik because of his leg?” asked Dean.

“Yes, I… I don’t want him to feel excluded or rejected by other dogs, he has the right to be happy,” said Cas looking at his dog.

“Cas, I’m pretty sure dogs only care who you are on the inside, that must apply between dogs as well, and Nik is the coolest dog ever, ‘sides, you’ve seen him play with other dogs, not only Coco and Taco but other dogs when we bring him to the park,”

“Yes, you’re probably right, I’m just being overprotective,” said Cas smiling. They kept walking in silence for a couple of minutes,

“Coco totally liked him, that was a romance in process,” said Dean suddenly,

“I’m pretty sure it’s too soon to tell, Dean… I don’t think it works like that with dogs,” said Cas.

“Man, I’m telling you, with them it’s all about instinct… they just follow their gut and do what feels nice,” said Dean.

“Wow, you make being a dog sound so simple,” said Cas,

“Well it is, he gets food 3 times a day, he goes to the park at least 2 times a week, he gets relaxing baths and he sleeps on a bed… and he doesn’t have to pay for any of those things,” said Dean.

“You’ve got a point,” said Cas, “so, do you want to be a dog on your next life?” he asked,

“Honestly, I don’t care, as long as I get to live it with you again,” said Dean. Cas blushed and planted a quick kiss on Dean’s cheek.

* * *

 

They walked into the apartment and Dean took off the leash from Nik; the little dog ran in excitement straight to his water bowl.  
  
“I’m going to finish packing my backpack,” said Cas walking into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.

“Okay, I’ll finish cleaning the kitchen then,” said Dean, he hugged Cas from the back and kissed him on the top of his head. Cas smiled and turned around to kiss his boyfriend on the lips. After a few seconds they pulled apart and Cas finally drank from his water; Dean stole the bottle from him and finished the water. Cas rolled his eyes and walked towards their room.

* * *

 

“Laptop, drawing tablet and pen, iPad, notebook, markers, cables, Chargers…” Cas went over his list for the third time; his backpack was finally ready after half an hour, he closed it and walked out of the room to place it next to the suitcase.

“Everything ready?” asked Dean walking out of the kitchen drying his hands with a rag,

“Yes,” said Cas, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Dean looked at his watch, well it’s 10 am and we don’t have to leave until 2 pm, what else do you wanna do?” asked Dean walking back into the kitchen; Cas followed him.

“I was wondering, are we having lunch here or at the airport?” asked Cas,

“That’s up to you man, whatever makes you feel less stressed,” said Dean placing the rag in the sink.

“I think we should stop somewhere in our way to the airport, I mean, we could leave at 12:30 pm instead of at 2, we have lunch, we make a quick stop at the hospital then we pick up dad and then we leave to the airport, what do you think?” Asked Cas,

“Excellent plan, babe,” said Dean, “what do you want to eat? Pizza?” Asked Dean,

“No,” said Cas; Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise,

“What? Are you sick?” asked Dean placing the back of his hand on Cas’s forehead,

“No,” said Cas chuckling, “but I’m about to spend a week in New York City, I’ll probably eat pizza every single day,” said Cas with a smile,

“Oh right,” said Dean rolling his eyes, “in that case, what about Chinese food?” he asked,

“Yes, I would love that,” said Cas.

“Okay,” said Dean; he got closer to Cas and placed his arms around Cas’s waist, “then I’ll go take a shower,” he placed a soft kiss on Cas’s lips, “wanna join me?”

Cas stared at him with wide eyes,

“Dean, I know I said I wanted to have sex with you but I don’t think I’m…”

“Dude, relax… I know TV and porn make shower sex look like something cool and sexy but it really sucks and it is dangerous and sloppy as hell… believe me I’m not trying to have sex with you right now Cas, when it happens I want to make it special… not while having a shower and rushing it because we have to leave to the airport,” said Dean placing a kiss on Cas’s forehead.

“Okay,” said Cas after biting his lower lip,

“We can’t share a nice relaxing bath because our bathtub isn’t big enough, but we can share a nice relaxing shower, what do you say? I could wash your hair if you want,” said Dean smiling; Cas looked at him in the eye and nodded,

“Great,” said Dean smiling, “shower time it is.”

* * *

 

Dean closed the bathroom door behind him, when he turned around Cas was already turning on the shower. Dean smiled and proceeded to take off his shirt; Cas took off his glasses and placed them over the sink, then he took his shirt off too. Dean couldn’t help it, every time he saw Cas’s bruises he felt the need to make sure that Cas was alright,

“Still hurts?” Asked Dean,

“Not that much, it looks worse than what it actually feels,” said Cas; the bruises where now a mix of yellow with green an purple, “by the time I come back they will be gone,”

“Yeah,” said Dean; he gave a couple of steps back and proceeded to take off his pants; Cas hesitated for a couple of seconds but then he too took of his pants and then his boxer briefs; he saw that Dean was already in the shower so he joined him and pulled the shower curtain behind him,

“Hi,” said Dean smiling; he was standing under the running water,

“Hello Dean,” said Cas smiling too. He grabbed the bottle of shampoo and Dean lowered his head so Cas could reach his hair. Cas poured shampoo on the palm of his hand and put the bottle back on its place then he started massaging Dean’s scalp. Dean closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment. When Cas finished shampooing Dean he gave a step backwards to let Dean know that he was done. Dean rinsed his hair while Cas watched him, he wasn’t wearing his glasses but if he tried hard he could see some of the freckles on Dean’s shoulders and Chest.

“Your turn now,” said Dean, he grabbed the bottle of shampoo and repeated the process on Cas’s hair. Cas went silent as soon as Dean touched his hair; the only sound he could make was a deep “ hmm,” when Dean started the massage.

“You like this?” asked Dean chuckling; it took Cas a few seconds until he was finally able to form words,

“Umm… y-yes, I find it very relaxing,” said Cas. Dean smiled and stared playing with Cas’s hair, he finally made a Mohawk,

“You look like a punk, with your blue hair and all that,” said Dean,

Cas laughed,

“I thought about cutting it like this when I changed it to turquoise, in fact, Eddie offered to cut it… but I don’t know, changing the color was enough for me I guess,” said Cas. He stepped under the water and rinsed his hair.

“One drastic change at a time?” asked Dean grabbing the bottle of liquid soap and a washcloth,

“Exactly,” said Cas.

They kept talking about everything and nothing for a while; Cas helped Dean to lather his back and then Dean returned the favor, they remained in the shower until they started to run out of hot water.

“I loved taking a shower with you Dean, but the water is cold now and we still need to get ready,” said Cas.

“Yeah, you’re right, lets get outta here,” said Dean smiling, he turned off the water and waited for Cas to get out of the shower; When Cas turned around to grab his towel, Dean couldn’t help it, his mind didn’t connect with his body for a fraction of second and the next thing he knew, he had just spanked Cas. Castiel turned around and looked at Dean with wide eyes,

“Oh no, you didn’t,” he said with a smirk, Dean was relieved to see that Cas wasn’t upset,

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it, the lady from next door is right, your ass is something else Cas,” said Dean,

“Yes? Well, your lips are something else too,” said Cas before closing the distance between him and his boyfriend. He planted an eager kiss on Dean’s lips; Dean wasn’t expecting it but he recovered from the surprise in a couple of seconds and he returned the kiss with gusto. Cas passed his hands through Dean’s wet hair and Dean placed his hands on Cas’s back (careful not to touch the bruises, of course); they kept making out for a few minutes, only stopping to take some air or to place kisses on each other’s necks and jawlines. It was only when Dean pulled Cas closer that he remembered that they were making out naked in the shower.

“Cas… wait,” he said letting go of Castiel,

“What?” asked Cas running out of breath,

“I umm… I can’t believe I’m about to say this but you’re too damn hot and we’re making out, naked… and little Dean is starting to get ideas,” said Dean blushing.

“Little…?” Cas looked down for a couple of seconds and realized what Dean was talking about then of course he was blushing too, “oh… I’m sorry, I got carried away… this isn’t fair to you, I’m… sorry, really,” said Cas.

“It’s okay… I just, I need a few minutes to cool down, and I’m pretty sure you do too,” said Dean looking at Cas from head to toe; when he realized that Cas wasn’t in the same situation as he was he cleared his throat and added, “or maybe you don’t… I … anyway, can you leave? Umm… unless you want to…”

“No, I’ll go get changed,” said Cas grabbing his towel. He dried himself pretty fast, draped the towel around his waist and left the bathroom.

“Well, that was awkward,” Whispered Dean when he found himself alone.

 

* * *

 

When Dean walked into their room 15 minutes later, Cas was buttoning his white shirt standing in front of the mirror.

“Dean, my comb is somewhere in my suitcase, can I borrow yours?” asked Cas,

“Yeah Cas, sure,” answered Dean; he dropped his towel to the floor and walked towards his dresser to grab clean underwear; Cas looked at him from the corner of his eye but immediately resumed combing his hair.

Dean put on a pair of gray boxer briefs and then walked towards the closet to find something to wear. He picked the black jeans he had bought for his birthday and a plain black shirt; he grabbed the first flannel he saw (green with black) and his boots; when he finished putting on his clothes he turned around and saw that Cas was wearing also black skinny jeans and that he was currently adjusting a pair of blue suspenders.

“Dean, can you pass me my Doctor Martens please?” asked Cas.

“Yeah, sure,” answered Dean staring at his boyfriend with his mouth open, “You look great Cas,”

“Thanks,” said Cas smiling.

After they were both ready they stood in front of the mirror,

“We look like a freaking rock band or something,” Said Dean. Cas smiled and grabbed his phone from the bed, he snapped a quick picture, “really?” asked Dean rolling his eyes,

“What? We look nice,” said Cas. Dean looked at him and smiled,

“You know what would make you look even better?” Asked Dean,

“What?” asked Cas,

“A bowtie… red or maybe blue,” answered the Winchester placing a soft kiss on Cas’s lips.

“Are you really trying to make me dress up as the 11th Doctor?” asked Cas,

“It was worth a try,” said Dean laughing,

“Are you ready?” Asked Cas,

“Yeah, c’mon lets put al your stuff in the car,” said Dean. They walked out of the room, Cas’s luggage was waiting at the living room,

“I got it,” said Cas grabbing his backpack,

“No way, I’m helping you with the suitcase, you’re still not ready to carry heavy shit,” said Dean,

“Dean, they’re taking off my stitches today, my arm is fine,” said Cas rolling his eyes,

“I don’t care,” said Dean carrying the suitcase,

“Jesus, you can be stubborn,” said Cas. They walked out of the apartment and waited for the elevator in silence. Once they made it to the parking lot they placed the luggage in the impala’s trunk.

“Are you mad at me?” Asked Dean,

“No Dean, I’m not mad at you,” said Cas rolling his eyes.

“I don’t believe you,” said Dean with a smirk.

“Oh, too bad,” said Cas. He turned around and walked towards the elevator, Dean followed him. As soon as the elevator’s door closed Cas pushed Dean against a wall and started kissing him; a few seconds later, when they heard the sound of a bell announcing that they were on their floor, Cas let go of Dean and straightened his shirt.

“Okay, I believe you now,” said Dean out of breath. They returned to the apartment; Cas checked again if he had everything he needed, he grabbed a blue cardigan just in case the plane was too cold and then he said goodbye to Nik,

“Goodbye Nikola Tesla, take care of Dean and be good, okay?” he said while rubbing the dog’s belly. Cas stood up and turned around, “okay, I’m ready, lets go,” he said smiling.

* * *

 

They stopped at a Chinese restaurant close to the hospital, the place had a buffet so the boys ate like there was no tomorrow,

“The thing with Chinese food,” said Dean after finishing his second serving of Kung Pao chicken, “is that you eat a lot but like an hour later you’re hungry again,”

“Sounds good to me, that way I can have pizza for dinner,” said Cas smiling. They kept eating and making small talk until they were full,

“We should probably go,” said Dean,

“I thing I’m going to fall asleep,” said Cas closing his eyes,

“C’mon sleeping beauty, you can sleep in the car,” said Dean helping Cas to stand up.

They drove to the hospital in a comfortable silence, Cas even managed to sleep for five minutes,

“C’mon Cas, we’re here,” said Dean; Cas opened his eyes and yawned, they got out of the Car and walked towards the ER, the same nurse that was in the reception the Day of Cas’s accident was there, she smiled and waved at Cas,

“Hello honey, hope you’re here to get rid of those stitches and not because you fell from the stairs again,” she said.

“No, I’m here only for the stitches,” said Cas smiling,

“Okay, we don’t have many patients waiting so as soon as a nurse is available I’ll call you,” she said Smiling,

“Thank you,” Cas and Dean sat at a corner of the room, there weren’t many patients like the nurse said. They only waited for five minutes, eventually the nurse called them and they followed a young nurse to a room behind the reception,

“Okay, so… Mr. Novak, right?” asked the nurse,

“Yes,” answered Cas,

“I’m Lynn, take a seat please, we’re gonna get rid of those stitches right away,” she said smiling. Cas sat on a tall bench while the nurse got everything ready, “Have you ever had stitches before?” she asked,

“Yes, I was in a car accident almost two years ago,” said Cas he unbuttoned his sleeve and Dean helped him roll it up so the nurse could have access to the stitches,

“Okay, then you know that taking stitches off isn’t painful,” she said,

“It feels weird, but it isn’t painful, yes,” said Cas.

“Here we go,” she said getting closer to Cas. She worked fast and luckily Cas was too busy trying not to fall asleep to notice the weird sensation of the thread being pulled out of his body. After almost 10 minutes everything was done,

“Thank you,” said Cas smiling,

“You’re welcome, it might leave a scar, I can send you an ointment to make it fade if you want,” she said writing something down on a paper,

“No, I think I want to keep it as a reminder that I shouldn’t be a workaholic that forgets to sleep like a normal human being,” said Cas touching the place where the stitches were a few minutes ago,

“Okay,” she said smiling, “You need to keep taking your antibiotics for another week, and I think that’s it… everything else working fine? No headaches? How about your bruises?” asked the nurse,

“Everything’s in order, the bruises hurt sometimes but not as much as they used to,”

“That’s normal,” she said writing something on her sheet, “okay, you’re free to go Mr. Novak,”

“Thank you,” said Cas.

“You’re welcome, and be careful please,” she said.

“Yes, I learned my lesson,” he answered.

* * *

 

After the hospital they drove to Chuck’s, they parked outside the house and walked in to look for Cas’s dad.

“Dad! We’re here!” Yelled Cas when he opened the door,

“Coming!” Yelled Chuck. Chuck came downstairs a minute later carrying his suitcase and a backpack,

“Hi Chuck,” Said Dean walking on Chuck’s direction to help him with his luggage,

“Hello guys, oh thanks Dean,” said Chuck handing his suitcase to Dean, “ready to go, Cas?”

“Yes dad,” said Cas smiling.

They walked out of the house, Chuck locked the door and then he and Castiel got in the car while Dean placed Chuck’s stuff in the trunk.

“Lets go!” said Dean finally when he sat on the drivers seat. Chuck watched as his house disappeared in the distance and with a sigh he said,

“Every time I leave Gabriel alone in that house for more than 3 days I feel like I’m going to come back and find it filled with wild animals and chocolate,”

“In his defense it only happened once, and I’m pretty sure a zebra and a donkey hardly count as ‘wild animals’ to be honest,” said Cas.

“And the house smelled like chocolate for like a month, it was cool,” added Dean smiling,

“You’re not helping guys,” said Chuck.

“Sorry,” said Cas and Dean at the same time.

“Anyway, how have you been guys? Did you get your stitches off?” asked Chuck.

“Yes, we stopped by the hospital before picking you up,” said Cas.

“Great, everything alright?”

“Yes dad,”

“Good,” answered Chuck. They remained silent for a couple of minutes,

“Dean, I need to ask you a favor,” said Chuck.

“Anything Chuck, what is it?” asked Dean.

“Keep an eye on Gabriel, please, he’s been acting weird lately, I mean, weirder than usual,” said Chuck,

“Weird?” Asked Dean,

“Yes, he spends the whole day in the bakery, he only comes home late at night and he’s always in his room, I think he’s depressed but of course when I ask he says that he’s just tired from work,”

“Dad, why hadn’t you tell me?” asked Cas,

“Honestly Cas, having two kids with depression isn’t easy to accept, let alone talk about it,”

“Wait, we’re not even sure that Gabe is depressed, maybe he’s seeing someone… and c’mon Chuck, Cas is doing fine, he’s the happiest I’ve seen him in years,” said Dean.

“Yeah, but that’s thanks to you,”

“Dad, it’s a little bit of everything, finally coming out, you being okay with it, having Dean, the books and of course me… you helped me, and a lot, really, you’re a good dad,” said Cas.

“Yeah Chuck, you’re an awesome dad man, and I promise I’ll talk to Gabe, okay? I’ve been meaning to take him to this Mexican restaurant close to Bobby’s anyway, don’t worry about it, Gabe is my friend, he’s like a brother to me, I’ll look after him,” said Dean.

“Thank you Dean,” Said Chuck,

“Anytime Chuck, you guys are my family,” said Dean. Chuck smiled and patted Dean’s shoulder,

“I’m really happy that you two ended up together guys, really,” said Chuck, “you’re the perfect complement to Cas,”

“Thanks Dad, this really means a lot,” said Cas blushing.

* * *

 

They found a spot at the airport parking lot and then unloaded the car. Chuck led the way and Cas and Dean walked behind him holding hands.

After the check-in and leaving their suitcases Chuck excused himself saying that he would go to the Starbucks to get a coffee,

“Do you want me to bring you tea?” asked Chuck,

“Yes please,” said Cas.

“Dean? Black coffee?”

“Yeah Chuck, thanks,” said Dean. Chuck left them alone and they found three empty seats in the waiting area,

“Here,” said Dean pointing at the seats; he placed Chuck’s backpack on one of the seats and then he sat next to Cas. Castiel started to scratch his hand, “hey, don’t do that,” said Dean kissing his cheek,

“I’m a little nervous,” admitted Cas,

“Everything’s gonna be fine babe,” said Dean holding Cas’s hands, “I promise,” he placed a soft kiss on Cas’s temple.

“Mommy, can a boy kiss another boy?” asked a kid sitting in front of them,

“No Isaac, that’s disgusting and a sin,” the lady was sitting there with her two sons; the youngest, Isaac, looked about 5 years old, the other kid was about 12,

“Mom, please don’t do this,” said the oldest kid covering his face,

“Shut up Andy,” said the lady to her son, “I hope you two know you’re going to hell,” she said pointing at Dean and Cas. The place was crowded and all the people around them were staring now,

“Yeah, I just hope I don’t get to sit next to you when I go there, that really would be hell, can you imagine Cas? Spending eternity next to an homophobic soccer mom?” said Dean with a smirk; Andy snorted,

“I swear if this place wasn’t crowded I would change seats and take my kids away from you, perverts,”

“Mom,” whispered Andy.

“Look lady, this is a free country, you’re free to go and look for another seat and I’m free to hold my boyfriend’s hand and kiss his cheek if I want to, we’re not doing anything ‘inappropriate,’ I’m sure if we were a ‘normal’ couple you wouldn’t say anything… even your kid thinks you’re overreacting here,” said Dean. He turned his attention to Cas who was clearly uncomfortable, “you okay babe?” asked Dean.

“Yes, I just… this is the first time I’ve face homophobic behavior since I came out, I mean, Michael wasn’t acceptant of course but he didn’t spoke like this to me, I guess I have to get used to it,”

“I know this sucks man, but sadly that’s how it is, we have to get used to it because apparently being an asshole is easier than being a decent human being,” said Dean stroking Cas’s arm; Cas leaned his head on Dean’s shoulder.

The lady kept looking at them with judging eyes, she told her kids to stay away from them to what her oldest son replied,

“Jesus mom, you’re making a scene,” and then he proceeded to burry his face in a book to ignore his mother. After that the lady busied herself cleaning her purse and nagging her younger son.

A few minutes later Chuck returned with a tray of Starbucks cups. Cas lifted Chuck’s backpack from the seat and Chuck sat down and handed their drinks to the guys,

“There you go, black coffee for Dean and Black tea for Castiel,” said Chuck smiling,

“Thanks Chuck,” said Dean,

“Everything okay guys? I thought I gave you enough alone time but you still seem sad,” said Chuck,

“It’s nothing,” said Cas, “someone made a homophobic comment and well, it was the first time I had to hear something like that directed to me,”

“I’m sorry about that son, some people are too busy hating other’s happiness when they should look at their own lives first, there’s nothing wrong with you Cas, okay? Being with Dean makes you happy and that’s all that matters,” said Chuck.

“Thanks dad,” said Cas smiling. They changed the subject and started talking about their trip and their plans; Dean got distracted and directed his attention to Andy, the kid was actually reading one of Chuck’s books, _‘This is gold’_ He thought, he looked at the mother, she was still busy reading a bunch of tickets she had found in her purse,

“So, Mr. Novak,” said Dean raising his voice; a few of the people around them looked at him, including of course Andy,

“Dean, why are you calling my dad ‘Mr. Novak?’ are you okay?” asked Cas confused,

“Yeah, sorry I don’t know what got into me, as I was saying, CHUCK,” he made sure of saying that name out loud too, “I need to ask you a favor,” he said talking with a regular volume this time,

“Yes, anything Dean,”

“Take care of Cas, okay?” said Dean,

“You don’t even have to ask Dean, he’s my son,”

“Good,” said Dean smiling. After a few minutes Andy stood up from his seat and walked towards Chuck,

“Excuse me,” he said, holding his book in one hand,

“Yes?” Asked Chuck,

“Andy, what did I tell you? Come back to your seat,” said the boy’s mother. The kid rolled his eyes and pretended he wasn’t listening to his mother,

“Are you Chuck Novak, the writer?” asked the kid. Dean smiled next to Cas; his plan had worked.

“Yes,” said Chuck smiling.

“Andrew,” said his mother,

“Just a minute mom, this is Chuck Novak, the author of my favorite books,” said the boy,

“Oh, so you like my books?” asked Chuck,

“Yes, I love them, I’m reading one right now,” he said showing Chuck his book.

“It’s good to see that a young man is into reading, do you want me to sign it?” asked Chuck,

“Oh my God! Please!” Chuck took a pen from his pocket and signed the first page of the book,

“Andy, right?”

“Yes,” Chuck nodded and finished signing the book,

“There you go Andy, thanks for reading my books,” said Chuck.

“Do you want me to take a picture of you with Mr. Novak?” asked Cas smiling,

“Y-Yes, of course,” said the boy excited.

“I can do it,” said the mother standing next to the kid,

“Okay,” said Cas; the kid hugged Chuck and the lady took the picture.

“Thank you Mr. Novak,” said the lady smiling.

“Which one is your favorite?” asked Castiel to Andy,

“I think the third one, Crowley is my favorite character,” said the kid smiling,

“Andrew, what did I tell you? Don’t talk to those men,” said the lady, “I’m sorry you have to be sitting next to them,” she said to Chuck, she hadn’t noticed when he sat next to Cas that he was talking to Cas and Dean.

“What do you mean you’re sorry?” asked Chuck,

“Because we’re a couple,” said Dean with an innocent expression,

“Yes, that’s disgusting, please stay away from my son,” she said pulling Andrew to her other side,

“Mom,” said the boy blushing,

“Well,” said Chuck, “I could say the same about your behavior Madame, it is disgusting and unnecessary, please stay away from my son… and his boyfriend,” he said with a smirk,

“I… oh, oh my God,” said the lady,

“I’m sorry you had to see your mom acting like this, but I can assure you Andy that there’s nothing wrong with my son, he’s an incredible man, in fact he’s the one who draws all the covers of my books, and Dean, his boyfriend, he gave me the idea for what happened in book 4… now if you excuse us, we’re going to leave because we can’t stand being around people like your mother,” said Chuck standing up; he grabbed his backpack and Dean and Cas followed his example,

“Stay in school kiddo,” said Dean to the boy and then he winked to the mother who was standing still staring at them in shock.

“Oh my God, Chuck, that was amazing,” said Dean when he reached Chuck,

“Yes dad, thank you,” said Cas,

“That’s how you deal with people like that, luckily her son wasn’t like her, this world still has hope,” said Chuck. They found three empty seats in another waiting area and they sat there comfortably. Eventually Cas relaxed enough to hold Dean’s hand again,

“I’m gonna miss you,” said Dean kissing the back of Cas’s hand,

“I will miss you as well Dean,” said Cas,

“Promise you’ll call me every night,” Dean whispered to Cas’s ear,  
  
“Of course,” said Cas smiling. Dean kissed the top of his head,

“It’s almost time to go inside Cas,” Chuck informed them,

“Okay,” said Cas; he held Dean’s hand a little tighter and kept whispering ‘I love you’ and ‘I need you’ to his boyfriend. Eventually Chuck stood up and grabbed his backpack,

“C’mon, our plane leaves in 45 minutes, we still need to pass the revision and find our gate,” he said. Dean and Cas stood up too and walked towards the door that led to the revision area,

“Come here,” said Dean hugging Cas tightly. Cas hugged him back and kissed his cheek,

“I love you,” said Cas,

“I love you too, Cas, now go get them tiger,” said Dean chuckling. Cas nodded and placed a chaste kiss on Dean’s lips; they pulled apart after a few seconds and then Dean hugged Chuck,

“Take care of him Chuck,” said Dean,

“Of course Dean,” said Chuck smiling. Dean hugged Cas once again,

“C’mon, you better go before Chuck starts crying,” said Dean trying to hold back his tears,

“Yes, of course,” said Cas laughing. They kissed one last time and then Dean stood there waiting until they crossed to the revision area and he couldn’t see them anymore. He sighed and walked back to the parking lot.

* * *

He felt weird, like he didn’t know what to do without Cas, which was ridiculous since they didn’t spend all the time together anyway. When he was driving back home he decided that he could use a distraction so he picked up Nik and then drove to the garage, it was almost 5 pm and he would only be at the garage for a couple of hours but he really needed the distraction.

He ended up spending the rest of the evening in Bobby’s office helping him with inventory. The guys at the garage of course loved Nik so he didn’t get bored.

When he finally left the garage at 8 pm he had only one thing in his mind: Talking to Cas.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was chapter 29. i hope you liked it. Chapter 30 will be the last one and then we'll have the epilogue. I don't know when i'll have the chapter ready, i already know what's going to happen i just need to write it down. (I'm starting to get used to this routine of having a work and all that shit so hopefully i'll start writing during the afternoons after i come back from work. 
> 
> I'm really sorry for keeping you waiting, i promise for the sequel i'll wait until i have at least half of the story to upload it, that way yo won't have to wait that long between uploads. 
> 
> I apologize for any mistake, remember that english isn't my first language and also is kinda late and i just finished writing this chapter.
> 
> I love you all and i wish you a nice week. Again, i promise i'll try to update as soon as posible!


	30. But first… breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Chuck finally go to New York. Dean spends a week without Cas for the first time since they became a couple. Gabe is kinda sad but Dean helps him. Gabe reveals Dean a secret from the past. 
> 
> Cas spends and awesome week with his dad and when he comes back home to Dean he decides he's ready to take the next step on their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! i'm finally back! i've been incredibly busy (it sucks to grow up and get a job and all that stuff) and i'm really sorry because i know you wanted to see the rest of the story and it took me ages to upload another chapter but it is finally here! (and it is a long one!!). 
> 
> This is the last chapter of this time line. There'll be an epilogue but it happens 2 years after this chapter. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this and for all your kind comments and kudos; it really meant the world to me. Thanks for everything, i hope you like this and remember English isn't my first language so i apologize for any mistake.

* * *

 

After work Dean went back home; Nik had spent a great time at the garage and he was so tired he ended up falling asleep as soon as he climbed in the car. While he was driving, Dean couldn’t help but to think about how a year ago he had a rule of “no dogs” when it came to his car and now he was driving with a sleeping pug next to him; _‘the things one does for love,’_ he thought; he smiled and rubbed Nik’s ear absentmindedly.  
  
Once he arrived to the apartment he took a Tupperware out of the freezer and put it into the microwave. While he waited for his food he fed Nikola Tesla and grabbed his phone charger from his room (he wanted to make sure his phone had enough battery for when Cas called him).

He enjoyed a delicious plate of chicken parmesan and pasta while watching old re-runs of Dr. Sexy M.D.  
After his dinner and 2 beers he washed the dishes and then took a shower.

While he was in the shower he obviously started to think about that morning, when he had shared a shower with Castiel for the first time. He smiled thinking about how much his physical relationship with Cas had progressed in the last couple of weeks; he knew Cas was trying and he actually didn’t care how much it would take them to take the next step in their relationship, all he cared about was their happiness, _‘I don’t give a fuck about sex,’_ he thought. A small voice in the bottom of his mind couldn’t help but to reply with a _‘yeah, sure.’_ Dean closed his eyes and rinsed the shampoo from his hair. _‘Dude, what happened today was totally normal, maybe he wasn’t as into the kiss as you were,’_ he said to himself when he thought about that last moment in the shower when ‘little Dean’ had reacted at the situation but Cas apparently wasn’t in the mood.

 _‘What if he really isn’t into sex? Maybe he told me he wants to do it because he wants to make me happy or he’s afraid to hurt my feelings… am I pressuring him? … Fuck!’_ He knew he was overthinking it and that he could talk to Cas about anything, but still what was he supposed to ask? _‘Hey Cas, I noticed the other day that you didn’t get a boner when we were making out in the shower, everything okay?’_ He turned off the water and got out of the shower.

* * *

 

  
Once he was a little more relaxed and wearing his pajamas, he went to bed and decided to read a book in the comfort of the blankets. About 20 minutes later the phone rang,

“Hi babe,” he answered right away,

“Hello Dean,” said Cas; Dean didn’t know how but he was pretty sure that Cas was smiling.

“How was the flight?”

“It was fine, I slept almost during the whole flight, we just arrived to the hotel,” said Cas,

“How is it? Is it cool and fancy?” asked Dean,

“Kind of, dad likes this hotel because it is close to Central Park but not to the touristic area, which in New York is basically the whole city… it’s a small hotel in front of the East river,” said Cas.

“You need to send me a picture of your view,” said Dean.

“I’ll do,” said Cas, “how about you, how was your day?” asked Cas.

“Fine, I went to the garage for a few hours, Bobby was busy with inventory so I stayed till 8, I took Nik with me, he had a great time,” said Dean smiling.

“Did you have dinner?”

“Yeah, that chicken Parmesan was awesome, man,” said Dean,

“I’m glad you liked it,”

“What about you? Did you have dinner?”

“Not yet, we’re about to go out, I want pizza,”

“Figures,” said Dean laughing. They remained silent for a few seconds,

“I miss you already,” whispered Cas,

“I miss you too buddy, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to sleep without you by my side,” said Dean,

“You can hug Nikola Tesla,” replied Castiel,

“Yeah, it’s basically the same thing, both of you snore and make funny noises when you dream,” joked Dean,

“I do not snore!”

“Totally,” said Dean,

“Well in that case we can stop cuddling if you want,” said Cas,

“No way man, you don’t snore, I was joking, in fact you do the opposite of snoring… is there a name for the opposite of snoring? Well I don’t know but you do that, I swear,” said Dean laughing.

“You are a dork,” said Cas.

“And you’re the love of my life,” answered Dean.

“As you are mine,” said Cas.

Dean could hear a voice in the background,

“Ready to go Castiel?” asked Chuck,

“I have to go Dean, we’re getting pizza, I’ll text you before I go to bed,” said Cas.

“Yeah, say hi to Chuck… and eat a shitload of pizza for me, okay? I love you,” answered Dean.

“I love you too Dean, I’ll send you a picture of my pizza, bye,” said Cas before hanging up.

* * *

 

Cas and Chuck left the hotel and walked towards the pizza place. Cas had a lot of favorite places to eat pizza in Manhattan; that day in particular they were going to a place called “famous original Ray’s pizza,” it wasn’t the best pizza in the city but it was good and the place had a special spot in Cas’s heart since this had been the first place where he had tried a slice of pizza in New York.

The night was chilly, they could tell that rain season was around the corner and Cas loved that feeling. They enjoyed their walk, reminiscing their visits to the city.

“Remember the first time I brought you to New York, just you and me?” asked Chuck.

“Yes, I was six and you promised that if I behaved in school during the whole year you would bring me to New York in the summer,”

“And you did,”

“It was hard, most of my classmates didn’t know how to read and I wanted to hit them in the face with my copy of Tom Sawyer,” said Cas chuckling.

  
“You were always different Cas, I don’t know how we didn’t notice before, all the signs were there,” said Chuck.

“It’s okay Dad… it is actually ironic, most parents spend their lives trying to convince other people that their kids are extraordinary and unique, mom spend my childhood trying to prove that I was average and as normal as any other kid in my class,”

“And I spent most of your childhood trying to keep your mother happy so she wouldn’t leave,” said Chuck.

“And I wasn’t normal,” said Cas.

“And your mother still left,” added Chuck. They kept walking in silence for a minute.

“I believe that’s what led us to this moment,” said Cas,

“What do you mean?” asked Chuck,

“Mom left and you had to take care of us on your own; you decided to take a risk, you quit your job as a professor at the university, you wrote your books, became a published author, then a famous author, you kept writing books, you made enough money to support your sons and help them to pay for their weird career choices, except for Michael because he studied something normal… anyway, I became an illustrator and now we’re here; mom leaving us led to this precise moment; it unraveled a series of events that took us to share a pizza in a chilly night in New York City,” said Cas opening the door of the pizza place.

“Remind me why aren’t you a writer?” asked Chuck smiling.

“I’m still too young… but you never know, right?” answered Cas.

“Well, all I know right now is that I would kill for a slice of pizza,” said Chuck.

 

* * *

 

Dean kept rolling and trying to find his place in bed.

“Jesus, this is ridiculous,” he said turning on his lamp. Next to him Nik was trying to sleep. Dean stood up and walked towards Cas’s dresser. He grabbed an old gray t-shirt and walked back to the bed. Nik looked at him with sleepy eyes.

“If you ever tell anyone about this, you’re sleeping in the laundry room for a month, got it?” said Dean staring at the dog. Nik yawned and turned around to go back to sleep. Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed a pillow then he put the t-shirt on it. If he was honest with himself it was a very sad attempt of a ‘Cas substitute,’ but no one needed to know.  
  
Dean placed the pillow next to him, turned off his lamp and then proceeded to hug the pillow; it smelled like Cas, it wasn’t the same of course, but it was something and in less than 5 minutes he had finally fallen asleep.

 

* * *

 

“The pizza was great,” said Chuck smiling.

“Yes,” said Cas carrying a bag of left over pizza and walking next to his dad.

“Do you want to walk to Times Square or are you ready to head back to the hotel?” asked Chuck.

“The hotel, I think,” said Cas, “I’m tired and I don’t feel like walking between a sea of people and watching a lot of bright lights,”

“Maybe a nice cup of tea and a walk by the river, then?” asked Chuck.

“That sounds perfect dad, thanks,” said Cas smiling.

They stopped at a small coffee shop and bought a couple of Earl Grays, then they headed to the ‘Bobby Wagner Walk,’ it was close to their hotel and it had a nice view of the East River.

“This is nice,” said Chuck staring at the lights coming from the Roosevelt Island. Cas nodded and took a sip of his tea,

“I love this city,” he said, “even though it’s full of people and noises and lights, I love it,”

“Have you ever thought of moving here?” asked Chuck.

“I used to, but now I’m not sure, I … I like my life now, I have to admit, when Dean moved out of the apartment and we stopped talking, I considered it, but I knew that doing it would be running from things,” he took another sip of his tea, “ and sometimes I catch myself thinking of New York, longing, you know? But even though I love this place, I love Dean even more; he has the garage back home and he has Bobby…”

“Cas, you can’t give up what makes you happy,” said Chuck,

“I’m not… Dean’s what makes me happy, dad,” said Cas, “maybe one day we can move here, or buy a nice apartment and come to the city during the holidays, I don’t know… a lot could happen, but all I know right now is that it doesn’t matter what happens as long as I’m with him,” said Cas smiling.

“I’m glad you’re happy Castiel; believe me, all I want is for my kids to have a happy life,” said Chuck with a sigh,

“I know you’re worried about Gabriel,” said Cas, “but Dean said he would talk to him, and I promise as soon as we go back home we’re all going to make sure that he’s fine… that he’s happy,”

“Thanks,” said Chuck. They remained silent for a while after that, just enjoying their drinks and staring at the river.

Cas placed his left hand over his right arm, exactly on the spot where he had his new scar.

“How’s the arm?” asked Chuck when he saw Cas’s action.

“Um… fine, it doesn’t hurt, it just feels weird with the cold, I guess it’s still a little sensitive,” said Cas.

“How about the bruises?” asked Chuck,

“You sound like Dean, dad… I’m fine,” said Cas rolling his eyes.

“Okay, just wanted to make sure,” answered Chuck smiling.

“well you don’t have to worry, I’m fine,” said Castiel, “What are we going to do tomorrow?” he asked.

“That’s up to you, son… this is your favorite place on earth, we can do whatever you want,”

“Well, I was thinking maybe breakfast then MoMa, Central Park, meal, Macstore, Barnes & Noble and then dinner,” said Cas.

“I imagined you would say that,” said Chuck smiling, “any special choices for our meals?”

“As long as I can have pizza for dinner I don’t care what else we have,” answered Cas.

“Okay then we can go to a diner that’s two blocks away from the hotel for breakfast, look for a restaurant close to the park and maybe go to Little Italy for dinner?”

“We have a plan,” said Cas smiling.

After another fifteen minutes they decided to go back to the hotel since they needed to wake up early the next day. When they were a couple of blocks away from the hotel they saw an old man sitting on the sidewalk next to a hairy dog and a shopping cart. The man had a cardboard sign that said ‘homeless and hungry;’ Cas grabbed a bottle of water from his backpack and handed it to the man; he also gave him the bag of pizza,

“Thank you,” said the man with a huge smile on his face.

“You’re welcome,” said Cas. He waved to the man and the dog and then he kept walking to the hotel with his father.

Cas sat at the living room of their suite; he turned on the TV but he wasn’t paying attention. He was texting Charlie. Chuck sat next to him answering some e-mails on his iPad. “I’m going to take a shower,” said Chuck standing up; he ruffled Cas’s hair and walked towards the bedroom. Cas just sat there staring at the nothing, thinking about his first trip to New York City.

 

_“Look, look dad, that’s the Statue of Liberty,” said Cas pointing at their view from the plane._

_“Yes, that’s the statue Cas… do you know who made it?” asked Chuck._

_“Gustav Eiffel, it was a gift to our country from France in 1886,” said Cas still staring at the statue. The lady sitting next to them in the plane looked at Cas in surprise._

_“Wow young man, you’re a smart one, aren’t you?” said the lady,_

_“I’m the most intelligent in my class but my mom says it is rude to say that out loud,” said Cas. The lady chuckled._

_“Cas,” said Chuck rolling his eyes._

_“Sorry,” said Cas. He turned around again and resumed staring at the window._

_“Do you know which places you want to visit?” asked Chuck._

_“I get to choose?” asked Cas excited._

_“Yes, this is your trip after all, you earned it,”_

_“Umm… I want to visit a lot of places,”_

_“I bought you something, maybe it can help,” said Chuck, he grabbed a small book from inside his jacket and handed it to Castiel,_

_“A guide to New York City,” said Cas smiling; Chuck nodded,_

_“Read it and then we can plan all the places we want to visit,”_

_“Okay,” said Cas opening the book._

_“Let me know if you find a word you don’t understand, okay?” said Chuck._

_“Yes dad,” said Cas with his face buried in his book._

_“You must be proud,” said the lady next to them,_

_“I am,” said Chuck smiling._

_..._

_“Central Park was an excellent choice,” said Chuck. They were sitting on a bench and eating ice cream._

_“I know, I love it… it is better than in the movies,” said Cas._

_“_ _I hope this ice cream doesn’t spoil your appetite Cas, what do you say about a slice of pizza?” “_

_"I say a lot of things about a slice of pizza, do you mean a slice of pizza in particular?” said Cas a little confused._

_“No, sorry… I meant what do you think about having pizza for dinner?” asked Chuck again._

_“Oh! That sounds great dad, can we do that?”_

_“Of course, finish your ice cream then we can walk to Times Square and then go for that pizza, okay?”_

_“Okay.” Said Cas._

_...._

_“Did you like Times Square?” asked Chuck while they were walking towards the pizza place._

_“Yes and no,” said Cas._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“_ _I liked the place but I didn’t like the noises and the people and the smells,” declared Cas._

 _“_ _I guess you’re right, it was really crowded,” said Chuck._

_They kept walking in silence. Chuck was holding Cas’s hand. He didn’t like when his mom held his hand because she was always pulling him and making him feel nervous. But he liked when his dad took his hand because he made him feel secure and he always walked next to him, not pulling him. They finally reached the pizza place; Cas saw a man sitting in the sidewalk in front of the pizza place. Once they were sitting at their table waiting for their pizza Cas asked his father,_

_“Dad, why was that man sitting at the sidewalk?”_

_“Which man?”_

_"The one that was outside, there,” said Cas pointing at the window,_

_“Oh, because he’s homeless Cas, it means that he doesn’t have a house,”_

_“And where does he live?” asked Cas curiously,_

_“The street,” answered Chuck,_

_“But where does he sleep?”_

_“Probably an alley, a bench on a park or under a bridge, I don’t know Cas… there are some shelters around the city, maybe he sleeps there sometimes too,” Cas nodded._

_“Why does he live in the street? Why is he homeless?”_

_“I don’t know Castiel, maybe he lost his job,”_

_“You need a job to make money and you need money for pay for things, like a house,” whispered Cas, more to himself than to his father. Chuck nodded and right in that moment the pizza arrived. They ate their pizza, Cas was really hungry after their day walking at the park, he thought ‘wow, being outside all day can really make me hungry,’ and then he realized,_

_“Dad… what does that man eat? He doesn’t have any money, he can’t buy food!”_

_“Sometimes people give him money, enough to buy food but not a house,”_

_“But what if they don’t give him enough money to eat one day?”_

_"Then he doesn’t,” Cas went very silent after that, thinking about that man’s life._

_Once they were full, Chuck ordered the rest of their pizza to go. Cas grabbed the plastic bag with the pizza and they walked out of the small restaurant. When they crossed the street Cas saw that the homeless man was covering himself with a dark blanket._

_"Do you have any spare change?” Asked the guy. Chuck took a couple of dollars from his pocket and handed them to the guy._

_“A-are you hungry?” Asked Cas. The man nodded. Cas blinked a couple of times and then handed him the bag of pizza,_

_“Thanks little man,” said the guy with a smile._

_“You’re welcome,” whispered Cas. Chuck pulled him and they kept walking towards their hotel._

_“That was nice of you, giving him the food,” said Chuck._

_“He was hungry and I had food,”_

_“You have such a beautiful soul Cas,” said Chuck smiling,_ _“I wish I could see things as easy as you do,”_

_“What do you mean?"_

_“I guess growing up means you see the world in a more complex way,” said Chuck._

_“I don’t want to grow up, then,” said Cas._

_“Why not?” Asked his father,_

_“_ _Because I like how I see the world,” he declared._

_“And how do you see the world?”_

_“Umm… like colors, and pictures, and shapes,” said Cas. Chuck smiled and ruffled his hair._

* * *

 

“The bathroom is free if you want to take a shower,” said Chuck walking out of the room wearing his pajamas.

“Yes, thanks,” said Cas. He stood up and stretched.

“Which bed do you want, by the way?” asked Chuck sitting on the couch.

“The one that’s closest to the window,” said Cas.

“Okay, I think I’ll just answer this mail and then go to bed, see you tomorrow,” said Chuck.

“Good night dad,” said Cas walking into the bedroom.

* * *

Under the relaxing water he finally was able to think about the day he had. His whole life he had heard people saying _‘I had a really long day,’_ and he couldn’t understand why, days always lasted 24 hours, days didn’t vary depending on the people. His father once told him that it meant that people had a lot to do during that day and that it felt like the day lasted more because they were tired and they just wanted the day to end. Cas had told his dad about relativity then. Michael had then said ‘nobody listens to you when you talk Castiel, you’re annoying,’ and Chuck had grounded him after that.

But right now Cas could understand what people meant when they used the term ‘long day;’ he could understand because he had woken up pretty early, he had done a lot of activities back in Sioux Falls and then he had flown to New York City. In less than 24 hours he had been in 2 different cities, more than 1,300 miles away from each other. He had taken showers in those two different cities in less than 24 hours too.

That train of thoughts had led him to think about Dean, he had taken a shower with Dean that morning. They made out, naked. And everything was fine, he didn’t feel weird, he wasn’t scared and he actually enjoyed it, in fact, he enjoyed it so much that he had to concentrate really hard to refrain himself from having a natural reaction to the situation. Dean didn’t do it though, he, or as he had put it, ‘little Dean’ had reacted according to the situation, and even though it was a little awkward when they stopped making out, Cas wouldn’t change the moment, it had given him more confidence. Also, his boyfriend was really, really, really hot.

He smiled and let his mind wander to that precise moment and after a few minutes he thought, _‘well apparently now I also need to add ‘I masturbated’ to the long list of things I did today’._

* * *

 

Dean walked into the garage and found Alfie and Garth talking about a football match,

“Hi guys,” he said.

“Hi Dean, nice to see you back,” said Alfie. He wasn’t at the garage the day before, when Dean arrived in the afternoon to help Bobby with inventory.

“Dude, I was only gone for like a day and a half,” said Dean rolling his eyes.

“Did you sleep well? You look tired,” said Garth.

“Yeah, had a hard time falling asleep,” said Dean clearing his throat. Garth smiled and gave him a pat on the back,

“Feels weird sleeping alone, doesn’t it? I can’t sleep when Bess goes to visit her family to Wisconsin,”

“Yeah man, and it was only the first night, I still have to wait for another week,” said Dean.

“I thought you weren’t dating that girl anymore,” said Alfie,

“What gi … oh, no, you mean Lisa? No, It’s been a while since we broke up… I was talking about Cas,” said Dean.

“Cas, your friend?”

“Cas, my boyfriend,” said Dean.

“Wait, are you gay?” asked Alfie.

“Bi, actually,” answered Dean, “I thought you knew,”

“Nope,”  
  
“Well, you learn something new every day kid,” said Dean with a smirk. Their talk was interrupted by Dean’s phone; he grabbed it from his pocket and saw Cas’s name on the screen,

“Hi babe, how are you?” he answered with a huge smile; he waved goodbye to Alfie and Garth and then walked towards his office.

“Hello Dean, we just had breakfast, we’re going to the MoMa today,” answered Cas.

“Awesome, I just arrived to the garage, couldn’t sleep well last night,”

“Really?” asked Cas,

“Yeah, I missed my favorite person in the world, did you sleep well?” Dean opened the door to his office and walked in, he closed the door behind him and placed his stuff on his couch.

“Yes, I brought one of your t-shirts with me, I slept wearing it… that helped,”

“Jesus, why are you so perfect?” asked Dean sitting at his desk. He turned on the computer.

“I don’t know how to answer that,” said Cas.

“Don’t worry, I’ll work on a list and tell you every single reason when you come back, okay?”

“I love you,” said Cas.

“I love you too Cas,” answered Dean.

“I have to go Dean, we’re on our way to the museum, I’ll call you tonight when I go back to the hotel, okay?”

“Please send me pictures of the face you make every time you see something related to Andy Warhol,” said Dean,

“I don’t make a face when I see something related to Andy Warhol,” answered Cas confused.

“Yes, you do,” Dean could hear Chuck laughing next to Cas.

“See?” asked Dean laughing too.

“Okay, I’ll ask my dad to take a picture,” said Cas. Dean couldn’t see him but he was pretty sure that he had rolled his eyes,

“I love you babe, have a nice day,” said Dean.

“Goodbye Dean,” said Cas.

* * *

It turned out Cas had in fact a special expression dedicated to whenever he saw anything related to Andy Warhol. Chuck took a couple of pictures and then sent them to Dean. A few minutes later Dean had replied with a text saying **“That’s the face,”** and Cas had no idea what he was talking about even though he saw the pictures a lot of times.

After the Moma, they walked to Central Park. Cas kept pointing at places where the doctor had been and he sent a few pictures to Dean.

**OMG! Don’t blink! Those little angels took Rory to the past.**

Had answered Dean when he saw a picture of Cas leaning on a fountain with a group of small angels on top of it.

“This reminds me,” said Cas, “there’s a bar in Brooklyn, it’s called the way station, it has a life size TARDIS inside, can we go later this week?” said Cas.

“Yes son, of course,” answered Chuck smiling. They ended up eating hot dogs at the park because they wanted to have a big dinner at Little Italy. Cas had been to that park a lot of times but he still loved walking around the place, he found it very relaxing.

After their meal, they walked towards the Macstore on Fifth Avenue.

“So, do you have a limit of things you can buy or should I just let you buy the whole store?” asked Chuck smiling.  
  
“I’m perfectly capable of containing myself when I go to a Macstore, dad,” said Cas.

The store was underground; if you were walking by the street you could only see a giant glass cube with the apple logo on the front; as soon as you got closer you could actually see that the store was downstairs.

Cas soon found the cable he was looking for. Chuck just walked around the store, waiting for Cas to do his shopping. Half an hour later, Cas came back with a couple of bags,

“Do you mind if we go back to the hotel before Barnes & Noble? I need to leave this in our room,” said Cas,

“What did you buy Mr. self-control?” asked Chuck.

“Just a cable for mi iPad…. And an iPod because I don’t have an iPod, I always have to use Dean’s… and he doesn’t have an iPad, I realized the other day… so I got him an iPad too,” said Cas lifting his bags.

“Jesus, my son is one of those apple freaks,” said Chuck laughing.

“At least I didn’t buy a computer this time,” said Cas.

“I guess you’re right… so Barnes & Noble now, right?” asked Chuck.

“First the hotel, then Barnes & Noble,” answered Cas with excitement.

"Okay then." replied his father.

* * *

  

Dean dialed Benny’s number while he waited for the coffeemaker to finish working.

“Hello brother,” answered Benny.

“Hi man, just wanted to check if you’re sill up for tomorrow” said Dean.

“Yeah man, I told Ash too,” said Benny.

“Cool, I invited Charlie too, hope you don’t mind,”

“You kidding me? Of course I don’t mind, she’s pretty cool man,”

“So, tomorrow 8pm at your cousin’s bar, then?”

“Yes brother, see ya tomorrow,”

“Okay, see you tomorrow,” said Dean before hanging up. The coffee was ready so he poured himself a cup and walked back to his office. He placed the cup on his desk and dialed another number. The call rang four times before someone finally picked it up,

“Dean-o, what’s up?” asked Gabriel,

“Hi man, how you doing?” asked Dean.

“Fine, fine… little busy at the bakery, lots of work, but fine I guess,” answered Gabe.

“Hey, listen man, I was thinking, you wanna do something on Saturday?” asked Dean.

“What exactly do you mean when you say ‘something’?” asked Gabriel.

“Videogames, alcohol, tacos…” listed Dean.

“Are you asking me on a date, Winchester?”

“You wish,” said Dean, “nah man, I mean, I know you’re used to spend your Saturdays with your family, I… we’re family man, you don’t have to spend Saturday alone,”

“Awww Deany, you’re so cute… okay, I’m in… your place or mine?”

“I don’t care, you pick,” said Dean,

“Okay, my place then, we can cook something nice and play Mario Kart… bring Nik, I love that little ball of fur,” said Gabe.

“Okay, see you on Saturday then, man, don’t forget it,”

“I won’t, now I gotta go Dean-o, I’m really busy here,” said Gabe.

“Okay, good luck, see ya,” said Dean. Gabe hanged up right after that, “Chuck was right, he sounded weird,” he said to himself.

 

* * *

 

“I’m not sure if walking into a bookstore was actually a good idea,” whispered Chuck.

“Why not?” asked Cas, he was reading the back of a book and Chuck was standing next to him looking at the books in front of him.

“Well, because…”

“Oh my God! Are you Chuck Novak?” asked a woman standing behind them.

“Yes, hi,” said Chuck.

“I told you guys, it’s him,” she said turning around. A group of 5 people walked towards them and asked Chuck to sign their books. Chuck agreed and signed the books happily.

“Well, this gives you more time to look for books, doesn’t it?” Asked Chuck with an apologetic smile.

“Yes, don’t worry, I get it, really,” said Cas. He walked away from the group of people and went to another section of the store. It was weird seeing people getting excited about his dad, but it wasn’t the firs time and soon, if they started with the graphic novels, he would be in his father’s situation as well. He tried not to think about it and he distracted himself browsing through the ‘science fiction’ section.

* * *

2 hours later Cas and Chuck were sitting at their table in a nice Italian restaurant.

“The pizza here is amazing,” said Cas grabbing another slice of pizza.

“The pasta is pretty good too,” said Chuck. They kept eating in a comfortable silence.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” asked Chuck.

“I guess,”

“It’s just a breakfast with one of the guys from the publishing company and my agent, we’re just making sure we’re on the same page…”

“Okay,”

“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,” said Chuck.

“I have to, I mean, I know that’s the socially correct thing to do dad, I can do this, don’t worry,” said Cas.

“That’s my boy,” said Chuck with a smile.

* * *

Dean walked into his room after taking a shower and grabbed some clean clothes. He decided to follow Cas’s example and he put on a t-shirt that belonged to his boyfriend. It was a little tight but not that much, and it actually smelled like Cas.

He climbed into bed and opened a book while he waited for Cas to call him. Twenty minutes later he finally got the call,

“Hello babe,” he said.

“Hello Dean, how are you?”

“M’ fine, already in bed, what about you?” asked Dean.

“We just came back from dinner, we went to little Italy, we went to a lot of places today, I’m really tired,” he yawned and then continued, “I’m just waiting my turn to use the shower,”

“What did you have for dinner?”

“Pizza,” said Cas.

“Figures,” said Dean laughing, “I loved your ‘I just saw something Andy Warhol related’ face, by the way,”

“I still don’t understand what do you mean, I looked at the picture and I don’t get it,” said Cas.

“I’ll give you a detailed description when you come home. You looked hot so don’t worry,” said Dean.

“You think I did?” asked Cas.

“Babe, you always look hot,”

“You do too,”

“You know, you don’t say that to me a lot, I mean, you always say that I have a beautiful soul and that I’m kind and all those nice things about what’s inside of me,”

“I haven’t realized, I mean, you really are attractive Dean, but that’s not why I love you,”

“But you think I’m hot,”

“ Yes, I do… a lot, actually,”

“Are you sure? I umm… do I turn you on?” asked Dean.

“Are you trying to have phone sex Dean?” asked Cas with a serious voice. Then Dean heard him say, “oh hi Dad, I didn’t notice you were there,”

“Jesus… no, Cas… I was, I… I don’t think this is the right time to talk about it, forget it,”

“Dean, what’s going on?”

“It’s stupid, man, never mind…”

“Dean,”

“I was just thinking about what happened yesterday, when we were making out after we took a shower and… well 'little Dean' was really happy about it but then your umm… 'angel blade' wasn’t, and I’m just… are you sure you’re attracted to me in that way, I swear I wouldn’t mind Cas, I just don’t want to force you to do things you don’t wanna do,” said Dean,

“Did you just call my pen… crap, wait a minute,” Dean could hear Cas moving and then the sound of a door closing, “Did you just call my penis an angel blade? Please never use my father’s books to refer to my genitals again, ever,” said Cas.

“Sorry, but that’s not the point, answer my question Cas… I know this isn’t the right time to talk about this but we said we would be honest with each other,”

“Dean… I’ve been in love with you since I was like 12 years old, I had to go through my adolescence having a huge crush on my best friend… I spent those years when hormones are crazy and you’re a horny mess… with the guy I was in love with, I slept at your house, we went swimming and we cuddled a lot… and then we became roommates Dean, I had to see you every day, hear your hot voice and watch your beautiful eyes and well, all of you… all of this while being in the closet. So, at some point during those first years I became an expert on ‘hiding my bodily reactions,’ in order to be able to hang out with you without looking like a pervert… I’m sorry Dean, I didn’t mean for it to happen like that yesterday, I knew we were giving a big step and I didn’t want to ruin it with my physical response, so I activated my ‘stay in the closet mode’ and believe me, it was hard,” said Cas.

“Oh yeah, believe me, I was there… it was hard,” said Dean chuckling.

“Are you trying to use the double sense of the words in an attempt to make a joke?” asked Cas,

“Yes,” answered Dean.

“ Does this mean you’re not upset with me?”

“No Cas, I’m not upset with you, I just… I was worried, I thought I was forcing you to do something you didn’t want to do,”

“I want to do it Dean, really… but like you said yesterday, I didn’t want my first time to be all rushed in a bathroom because we had to hurry up to leave to the airport,”

“So you do find me hot, then? I turn you on?” asked Dean smiling,

“Yes,”

“I… can you say it out loud?”

“I find you very attractive Dean and you turn me on, a lot,” said Cas.

“Jesus Cas, I feel really tempted to buy a plane ticket right now just so I could go kiss you,” said Dean.

“You can do that if you want,” said Cas.

“You know I can’t,”

“Yes, I know… but I promise you can kiss me all you want when I go back,”

“Oh man, I can’t wait,” said Dean, “we’re gonna spend the whole weekend making out and you’re gonna tell me all about your trip and your plans for the books,”

“I promise,”

“Awesome,”

“Dean, I have to go, we have a breakfast tomorrow with one of the guys from the publishing company and with dad’s agent,”

“Oh, okay, well, call me as soon as you can okay? I’ll be sending good vibes, I love you… and I think you’re really hot,” said Dean.

“I love you too Dean, and I promise, even though I don’t say it as much as I should, I find you very attractive, really,”

“Good night babe,”

“Good night Dean,” said Cas before hanging up.

* * *

Cas took a quick shower and then walked out of the bedroom to find his father reading in the living room of the suite. Cas walked towards the couch and sat next to him; he noticed with the corner of his eye that Chuck was smiling.

“So, how’s Dean?” asked Chuck,

“He’s fine… we weren’t having phone sex, by the way,” said Cas blushing.

“Cas, it’s fine… you two are young and in love, it is perfectly normal to have a healthy sex life and,”

“We don’t have a healthy sex life,” said Cas.

“Okay… as long as you don’t get your ideas from 50 shades of Gray, I don’t judge,” said Chuck.

“No, dad… I don’t even know why I’m telling you this,” said Cas raising his hands in despair, “we don’t have a sex life, period,”

“Oh… okay, I mean if that’s what you want, that’s fine too,” said Chuck.

“Can we change the subject? I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be this ‘cool’ talking about sex with your gay autistic son,”

“Castiel, this isn’t even the first time we’ve talked about sex, I gave you the talk when you were a kid,” said Chuck.

“No, you didn’t,” said Cas.

“Of course I did, I had the talk with each and every one of my kids when they were 12,” said Chuck.

“Not me… when I was 12 mom left, remember? You were too busy trying to get used to our new life I guess, but that’s okay really,” Chuck went silent for almost a minute trying to think about that precise time of his life,

“Oh my God! I never gave you the talk!” he said with wide eyes.

“Dad, don’t worry… Gabe took care of that, and he was very graphic… also my first tutor when I started to take classes at home, Mrs. Brooks, she told me a little bit about it too, though she was like 80 so all she said was ‘don’t do it before marriage or God will punish you,’ basically… I also had the internet and books and even Dean, so I didn’t grew up like some hermit living in a mountain, I know how sex works, I’m fine and I don’t even know why we’re having this conversation…” said Cas. Chuck nodded and looked at the window for a while. Cas grabbed his iPad and opened his tumblr. Eventually Chuck talked again,

“So, do you have any questions?” he asked,

“About what?” asked Cas a little confused,

“Sex.”

Cas rolled his eyes and placed the iPad on the couch,

“No dad, thank you very much, I’m fine,” he answered standing up, “I’m going to bed, okay? Goodnight,” he walked towards the bedroom.

“Good night son,” said Chuck.

* * *

 

Dean was starting to doze off when he heard a text alert from his phone,

**\- My dad just found out that he didn’t give me ‘the talk’ all those years ago. He asked me if I wanted to talk about sex.**

Dean had to re-read the text a couple of times; that must have been the funniest thing ever, watching Chuck and Cas have a conversation about sex.

**\- How da fuck did that happened?**

**\- He thought I was having phone sex with you**

Dean lost it and began to laugh out loud. Nik rolled in bed and looked at him clearly upset.

**\- Sorry about that. What did you say?**

**\- I said it wasn’t necessary to talk about it. But he kept trying so I went to bed.**

**\- Fun times**

**\- In other news. Guess what?**

Dean read Cas’s message and couldn’t help but wonder what else had happened since he had talked to Castiel 40 minutes earlier.

**\- What?**

Dean waited for five minutes until Cas answered,

**\- I find you really hot and you ‘turn me on’.**

Dean read the text with a huge smile on his face; had Castiel really written that?

**\- OMG! Castiel Novak, R U trying to sext with me?**

Dean read Cas’s message once again; he loved how Cas had used the quotes on his text.

**\- No. That would be weird since my dad is sleeping on the bed next to mine.**

**-Was worth a try. I love U babe. Good luck tomorrow.**

**\- Thank you Dean. I love you too.**

* * *

 

  
“Cas… Castiel, wake up,” Chuck poked Cas’s arm slightly.

“mmff…” Cas covered his head with a pillow.

“Son, wake up, we have a meeting today,” Cas opened his eyes and threw the pillow to his father, “there’s tea in the living room,” said Chuck. Cas sat on the edge of the bed and looked at his father with puppy eyes.

“God, does Dean have to do this every morning?” asked Chuck laughing. He walked out of the room and returned a minute later with a cup of tea for Cas.

“Thanks,” said Cas after tasting his drink.

“I’m pretty sure it wasn’t this hard to wake you up yesterday,” said Chuck.

“I’m tired, we walked a lot yesterday,” said Cas yawning,

“You can sleep after the meeting,”

“Okay, I think I’ll take a shower,” said Cas. He looked at the clock on the bedside table and saw that it was 7:30 am; he finished his tea and walked to the bathroom.

* * *

After the shower and the tea Cas felt ready to face the day. He decided to wear a pair of black jeans, a light blue button-down and his Doctor Martens. Thankfully his hair had decided to cooperate. At the end he decided to add a dark blue bowtie with little green dots that Dean had given to him last year.

“Are you ready?” asked Chuck. He was wearing blue denim jeans with a white button-down and a black blazer.

“Yes,” answered Cas.

“Okay, lets go then, Vicky is going to pick us up today, we’re having breakfast at SoHo,” Cas grabbed his backpack and followed his father. “You have everything you need?” asked Chuck.

“Yes,” answered Cas. They waited for the elevator and when they reached the lobby of the hotel Cas saw Vicky, Chuck’s agent, waiting for them.

“Hello guys,” she said with a wide smile.

“Hello Vicky,” said Cas waving at her. He’d only seen her 5 times since Chuck became a writer but she knew that Cas didn’t like to shake hands so she waved back. They followed her to a black car waiting for them outside. The three of them climbed in the back part of the car and then the driver took them to their destination.

“So, how’s the big city treating you guys?” she asked.

“Great, we went to the MoMa yesterday and to Central Park,” said Chuck.

“Well, I’ve been living here for almost 5 years and I still find those places amazing, specially the park, man I could go for a walk at that park any day of the year,” she said.

Vicky lived in New York (most of the time); Chuck had been her first client and she had been his first agent and they were really good friends (though they could yell at each other a lot). She was a tall woman, almost as tall as Cas; she had long curly hair and her skin was a beautiful shade of brown (bronze, was the term Cas would use to describe it). She had two moms, one of her moms was Cuban and the other one was from LA; when Cas met her and she told him about her moms he started practicing his Spanish with her.

“Castiel ¿Estás nervioso?” she asked. Cas shook his head and looked at her,

“Un poco,” he answered.

“Guys, English please, not all of us in this car are a polyglot genius,” said Chuck.

“She just asked me if I am nervous,” said Cas rolling his eyes,

“Are you?” asked Chuck.

“A little,” said Cas.

“Everything is going to be fine Cas, this isn’t the first meeting we’ve had with Mr. Yates, he’s a nice guy,” said Chuck,

“If by nice you mean that he only thinks about his money,” said Vicky,

“Okay,” said Cas.

“No, I mean, don’t get me wrong Cas, he’s a nice man but his first interest is his money, that’s logic, luckily for you, you and your father have a goldmine in your hands… those books mean money, all your dad’s books have been bestsellers, they just signed a contract for 3 more books… they’re gonna go crazy with the graphic novels, I can see the dollar signs on their eyes already,” said Vicky.

Cas looked at her and nodded. She was right, he didn’t want to be presumptuous but he knew that his work was good. They kept driving for a while, it was early but there was always traffic in the city. Vicky told Cas a little more about Mr. Yates and she also told him about a few exhibitions at the local museums that he might enjoy.

They arrived at the restaurant at 8:55 am; they had the appointment at 9:15. They walked into the restaurant and Vicky asked for their reservations. The waiter led them to a nice round table on the rooftop of the building, they had an amazing view and the weather was nice too.

“Do you want to ask for drinks while you wait for your other guests?” asked the waiter,

“Coffee, please.” Said Chuck and Vicky at the same time.

“Do you have black tea?” asked Cas.

“Yes, we have a selection of teas; do you want me to bring the box?” asked the waiter.

“Yes please.” The waiter left and he returned a few minutes later wit the coffees and a wooden box on a tray.

“Here it is,” he said. Cas inspected the teas, he didn’t want to sound like an arrogant person but he was really picky when it came to the quality of his tea. He observed the teas in the box for almost a minute and then he picked,

“I’ll have an Irish breakfast, and could you please bring milk?” said Cas.

“Sure, I’ll be right back,” said the waiter.

* * *

A couple of minutes later, while Cas was enjoying the first sip of his tea, Mr. Yates arrived followed by a young woman wearing a short black dress.

“Good morning Mr. Yates,” said Chuck with a big smile; he stood up and shook hands with the man.

“Good morning, this is my daughter and assistant Shirley,” said Mr. Yates. He and his daughter shook hands with everyone at the table and when they sat down again Cas had to fight the urge to run to the bathroom and wash his hands, he really hated shaking hands and especially with people he didn’t know.

Mr. Yates and Shirley sat at the two empty chairs between Chuck and Vicky; Shirley sat next to Vicky and smiled shyly at her.

“Okay, as you know I like to eat first and talk business later, so lets have breakfast!” said Mr. Yates. Everyone grabbed a menu from the table and choose their food. While Cas was trying to decide between an omelet or enchiladas, he felt like someone was looking at him; when he looked up, he saw that Shirley was staring at him from behind her menu; she blinked fast and looked down pretending she was reading. Cas went back to his menu, at the end he decided to pick the omelet, that way he would have space for a slice of New York cheesecake.

The waiter took their order and brought coffee for Mr. Yates and his daughter. While they waited for their food they made small talk,

“So, Castiel, is this your first time in New York?” asked Mr. Yates.

“No, I’ve been here plenty of times, this is my favorite city actually,” said Cas.

“It’s my favorite city too,” said Shirley smiling.

“How long have you been working with your father, Shirley?” Asked Chuck.

“Just a couple of months,” she said. Cas looked at her and noticed that she had freckles, which obviously made him think of his boyfriend.

“And how is it going? Do you like working with him?” asked Vicky.

“Well, at least when I took the job I already knew what I was dealing with,” she joked. She looked at Cas, curling a lock of her long brown hair around her finger, “what about you Castiel? Do you like working with your dad?” she asked.

Cas was a little distracted thinking about Dean, so he was caught by surprise when a question was directed to him,

“Sorry, what?” he asked shaking his head. Shirley giggled and blushed a little,

“I asked if you enjoy working with Chuck,” she said.

“Oh… yes, I do, though I don’t see him as much as you see your father,” answered Cas. He cleared his throat and then took a swig of his tea.

“Castiel, your father told me a few months ago that you own a couple of businesses, how’s that going?” asked Mr. Yates changing the subject.

“It’s going fine thank you, I’m a co-owner in both businesses though, so I can’t take all the credit,” said Cas. Mr. Yates nodded.

“Still, your father must be very proud of you,” said Mr. Yates. Cas didn’t know what to answer to that so he drank from his tea to avoid talking.

Eventually the food arrived and they all ate in a comfortable silence, only interrupted from time to time with more small talk. Shirley kept staring at Cas ‘discretely’ and Cas didn’t know what she wanted, but he concluded that maybe it had something to do with his hair.

After breakfast they ordered more coffee (and tea) and dessert. The New York cheesecake was delicious (though not as good as Gabe’s).

“Okay, so now, with our stomachs full and after that delicious coffee… let’s talk business,” said Mr. Yates.

The waiter approached the table and cleaned it fast; they ordered a refill of their drinks and then Vicky spoke,

“Okay, Mr. Yates we’ve had a few meetings and talked on the phone so you already know what’s going on here,” she said.

Mr. Yates nodded and Shirley took a small notepad from her purse and started writing.

“Well, Castiel this is the first time we’ve ever met so you don’t know this but I’m a huge fan of your father’s books, I was the one who convinced him to write nine books instead of six… when Vicky called me to let me know that you were interested in working with him on a new series of books, I was ecstatic, I basically have one foot in, which means that the rest of the team is in the same position… now all you have to do is show me what you’ve got,” said Mr. Yates,

“Okay, first of all, I don’t think calling these a new series of books is totally right… the plan we have,” said Cas grabbing his iPad from his backpack, “is to recreate the books but as a graphic novel, the books only have illustrations on the cover and we all know that the fans have been asking for years for more official illustrations… plus the fact that the identity of the mysterious ‘C.N’ would be finally revealed after all. We are planning on dividing dad’s books in three parts, each parts becomes a graphic novel, that way we would have the first novel covering books 1,2 and 3. Then the second novel would be books four to six, and the rest of the books in another novel,” said Cas. He showed a few of his sketches on his iPad to Mr. Yates.

“That sounds interesting I must admit… but you have to understand Castiel, that I have to see this from the economical point of view, for me this is a business too … three graphic novels of ‘Devil’s trap’ would sell a lot… but a whole new set of stories would blow your fan’s minds… specially since your dad is still writing book 7, fans all over the world are dying to get anything, even a phrase, a tweet, whatever they can get that is related to the books,” explained Mr. Yates.

Cas looked at Chuck a little worried, he wasn’t expecting that answer; he had only worked in the idea for the graphic novels based on the current books.

“I knew you would ask this,” said Chuck with a smirk, “you’ve been trying to convince me to expand the universe of my series for years Eugene,” Cas tilted his head and looked at his father in surprise, he had no idea that Mr. Yates was called Eugene. He heard Shirley giggling but he didn’t pay attention to her.

“You know I have a good point here my friend,” said Mr. Yates.

“I don’t want to force things Eugene, you need to let the writing happen, it has to flow, I don’t have a magic wand to make it appear as you wish,” said Chuck.

“It doesn’t have to happen right away,”

“When exactly do you want it to happen? Chuck’s been working in book 7 for months, when is he going to find time to create new stories for this series while he finishes writing the book and then starts writing number 8?” asked Vicky.

“Well… it was worth a try,” said Mr. Yates after taking a sip of his coffee, “still, you’re going to need to offer something else, make the deal something I can’t resist… something the rest of the team can’t refuse,”

“What about an encyclopedia?” asked Shirley,

“What?” asked Vicky.

“Yes, like an encyclopedia of all the characters and places of your story… everyone would love that, imagine if we could read a little more about those angels and hunters and the rest of the demons, you mentioned purgatory in one of your books, talk about that… it is not a book per se but I’m pretty sure you have all those things figured out… I think writers call it a bible, you know, all the back story for your characters and that stuff… your fans would go crazy,” she explained,

“That actually sounds like an amazing idea,” said Cas with a huge smile. Shirley blushed and turned her eyes back to her notebook,

“What do you think?” asked Mr. Yates.

“I don’t know…” said Chuck, “it would be the graphic novels plus the encyclopedia, right?”

“Of course,” Chuck could basically see the dollar signs on Mr. Yates eyes.

“We would need to see deadlines, I don’t want to feel pressured and stressed… this is supposed to be a fun father and son activity, not just a business, I’m not doing this just for the money, and you know it…”

“I would really appreciate it if we could have the encyclopedia ready for Christmas, though,” said Mr. Yates with a smirk.

“The first graphic novel for Christmas, the encyclopedia in time for comic con and you still have to wait for September to publish the seventh book, what do you say?” said Chuck.

“Jesus, Novak, you’re lucky you’re a talented bastard and that I love your damn books, okay you have a deal,” said Mr. Yates. Cas realized he hadn’t been breathing for the last 30 seconds so he took a deep breath and felt more relaxed after Mr. Yates words,

“We still need to discuss the whole ‘coming out of anonymity’ for me, I know that it is something I need to do, but I’m not a big fan of being on the spotlight,” said Cas.

“Too bad, son, people already love your art and they don’t even know who you are, but we can talk about it, we don’t want you to be uncomfortable… we’ll discuss it with my team in the next meeting, right now, we have to go,” said Mr. Yates. Shirley nodded and dialed their chauffer to let him know that they were ready to leave.

“It was nice meeting you, Mr. Yates, Shirley,” said Cas. They shook his hand again and he was counting the seconds for the moment he could run to the bathroom and wash his hands.

“See you on Tuesday then Mr. Yates,” said Vicky with a big smile.

“Thanks for everything Eugene, you won’t regret this,” said Chuck patting Mr. Yates’s shoulder.

“I know I won’t Chuck, but I really wish for the day when you accept to write more books,” answered Mr. Yates. Cas noticed that Shirley was again staring at him and he smiled shyly at her, _‘women are weird’_ he thought.

“Dad, the car is here, we need to hurry up,” she said, “it was nice meeting you all, goodbye Castiel,” she said. Cas wasn’t sure but he could’ve sworn that she had winked at him.

* * *

Exactly 7 minutes after Mr. Yates and his daughter left the restaurant. Cas, Chuck and Vicky were sitting on the back of her car.

“Do you guys want to go to any special place in particular or do you want to go back to the hotel?” she asked,

“I was thinking we could spend the day at Brooklyn if you want Cas,” Said Chuck,

“We hadn’t plan anything for today because of the meeting but that actually sounds perfect,” said Cas with a huge smile,

“You can drop us at any metro station Vicky, we can manage,” said Chuck.

“Oh, don’t worry, you two are lucky, I’m meeting with my sister and her boyfriend at battery park, I could drop you by the bridge, you could be total tourists and walk,” she said. Chuck looked at Cas, who nodded.

“Okay, the Brooklyn bridge it is,” said Chuck.

* * *

 

Dean was helping the guys of the garage to paint a car, he usually didn’t get involved in that kind of work anymore, but this was an old Chevy 1968 and they had been working on her for months.

“Dean, your phone is ringing,” said Garth opening the door of the painting room. Dean had left it outside because he didn’t want to get distracted while he was working,

“Fuck, is it Cas?” he grabbed the phone and slid his finger over the screen to answer the call,

“Hi babe,” he said with a huge smile,

“Hello Dean,” said Cas.

“How did it go?” asked Dean, everyone at the room got quiet to let Dean hear the news.

“Fine, I think… it was not the way I imagined it, but basically Mr. Yates said yes, though we still need to work on the terms and the legal stuff, but we’ll talk about it on our next meeting… the important thing here is that it is happening, we’re publishing our graphic novels!” said Cas with excitement.

“Oh my God! Cas that’s fucking awesome… you’re fucking awesome… I knew it babe, I fucking new it!” said Dean happily,

“I know Dean, thanks so much for trusting me and being with me through all this,” said Cas.

“Are you kidding me? Cas, babe, you’re the love of my life, all I want is to see you happy, it makes me happy man, all our freaking dreams are coming true, Jesus… I wish you were here man,” said Dean.

“Just a few more days Dean, I can’t wait to go back, there’s a lot I need to tell you,”

“So, what’s next? What are the other meetings for apart from the legal shit?” Asked Dean.

“Well, Vicky said we’re meeting the rest of the team, marketing and sales are specially interested in this project since they think they can explode the fact that they’re finally unveiling the identity of the mysterious illustrator of the books. Apparently fans are dying to know who’s behind the art and they even have weird theories…”

“Really, like what?” asked Dean,

“Well, I don’t like to read about dad and his books on the Internet, but I just checked and it seems like most people think that ‘C.N’ actually stands for Chuck Novak, they think dad is the one that draws everything and that he’s just being mysterious,” said Cas.

“I was expecting a conspiracy theory or some shit like that; to be honest it isn’t that hard to find out, your dad has 3 sons, one of them happens to be a digital artist and illustrator and he’s called Castiel,” said Dean.

“Yes, but my dad hasn’t revealed that information, people know he has 3 sons but when he refers to us he uses our middle names, I think even if you look it up on Wikipedia, it says ‘the author has 3 sons: John, Joseph and James Novak,’ so maybe the fans are right after all, dad is a little mysterious,”

“I’ll never get over your middle names, sometimes I think your mom just woke up one day and randomly said ‘I want to give all my kids middle names with the letter ‘J,’” said Dean with a chuckle.

“Believe me, I’m very thankful I didn’t end up with ‘Jesus’ as my middle name, according to dad Jesus was mom’s first option when they were looking for names,” said Cas.

“Gabe told me that once, but I thought he was joking,”

“Nope, I could’ve been your boyfriend Jesus,” said Cas.

“That’s fucked up in so many levels,” said Dean.

“I know,” said Cas,

“Anyway, the point here is that, you, Castiel James Novak, are about to become a published artist, how does it feel?”

“I think this is one of the happiest days of my life,” said Cas,

“I’m so proud of you babe,” said Dean.

“Thank you Dean, I love you so much,”

“I love you too Cas,” answered Dean, “So, what are you doing now?” he asked,

“After the breakfast, Vicky left us by the Brooklyn bridge and then we crossed it walking, we spent a few hours walking around, we’re having lunch now at a small restaurant that my father loves,” said Cas.

“That sounds awesome, I swear, we’re driving to New York one of these days and you’re gonna show me all your favorite places,”

“Whenever you want,” said Cas, “oh, our food is here, I have to hang up, I love you Dean, I’ll call you tonight, okay?” said Cas.

“Okay babe, I love you too, take care, and say hi to Chuck… and congratulations again, I’m so fucking proud man,”

“Thanks Dean, goodbye,” said Cas before hanging up.

* * *

“What did he say?” asked Chuck.

“He was really happy… he also asked me to say hi to you,” said Cas while putting dressing to his salad. Chuck nodded,

“I’ll call Gabe and Michael after lunch,” said Chuck,

“I still need to call Charlie,” said Cas.

“Hey, I was thinking, do you want to go to that bar you mentioned the other day? Something station…” Asked Chuck,

“The way station, and yes, I would love to go, ” said Cas with a smile.

“You should really appreciate your anonymity while it lasts son,” said Chuck,

“It isn’t that bad, I mean, most people don’t even know who draws the things, or they know the names but they have no idea of how the artist looks,” said Cas,

“That’s what I used to think about being a writer,” said Chuck.

“It isn’t that bad, is it?” asked Cas a little worried.

“No, most of the time it’s fine… it gets a little crazy during the book tour or conventions… I almost lost an arm in my last comic con,” said Chuck,

“We should change the subject,” said Cas,

“Sorry,” said Chuck, “why don’t you take out your ipad and we check which other places we can visit this weekend?”

“Yes, that sounds perfect,” said Cas reaching for his backpack.

* * *

“Hey brother! How ya’ doing?” asked Benny while hugging Dean, who had just arrived to the bar.

“Hi Benny, I’m fine man… it’s nice seeing you,” answered Dean, “hi Red, how is it going?” he asked Charlie.

“Hi Dean, I’m fine, man… I’m really happy for Cas! I knew he would do great,” said Charlie.

“I know, I can’t wait for him to come back, I want to hear every detail,” said Dean. He took a seat in front of Benny and Charlie. The waiter arrived and Dean ordered a beer,

“Jesus, Dean you’re giving me diabetes, man,” joked Benny,

“You should see them when they’re together, they’re just so perfectly cute, it’s ridiculous man,” said Charlie.

“I can’t help it guys, I’m a man in love,” said Dean with a smile.

“I’m happy for you brother, I’ve never seen you this happy before,” said Benny. The waiter arrived with Dean’s beer and Dean made a toast,

“To friendship and being ridiculously in love,” said Dean.

“Cheers,” said Benny and Charlie at the same time.

They drank and joked for a while, after half an hour Ash arrived (already a little drunk) and joined them. Dean had a lot of fun, it had been a while since he had hanged out with his friends, and now it was even better because Charlie was there too.

Benny told Charlie a lot of stories about high school, and she laughed so hard she almost fell from her chair a couple of times.

“So we threw the matches to the garbage can and then we ran, man I’d never ran so fast in my life… we ran until we were at the other side of the school and then we walked between the crowd and acted surprised and worried when the fire alarm sounded,” said Benny,

“All that so Ash could change your grades?” asked Charlie laughing,

“It was the only way Charlie, we needed to use the principal’s computer, and Ash needed to buy some time so he could do his magic,” said Benny,

“Did you get caught?” asked Charlie,

“No way, they never found out and I passed French and history,” said Benny with a huge smile,

“Luckily you don’t need those to be a publicist man,” said Ash,

“I wish I’d new you guys when you were kids, every time I hear your stories or when Cas tells me how it was like growing up here… man,” said Charlie clearly a little drunk,

“Are you drunk Bradbury?” asked Dean,

“Nope,” she whispered, “well, maybe a little,”

“wanna go?” asked Dean,

“No, I’m having fun with your stories and tomorrow is Saturday, I can stay a little longer, why? Are you leaving?”

“Maybe,” said Dean,

“What? You have other plans?” asked Ash,

“No…I’m just tired man,” said Dean,

“Don’t lie Winchester, you wanna go cuz’ Cas is going to call you, isn’t it?” asked Charlie,

“Okay, yeah… have any problem with that?” Asked Dean trying to sound tough,

“You’re so whipped, man,” said Ash raising his bottle of beer. Dean rolled his eyes and kept drinking from his beer. He could wait a little longer; Cas would probably call him after dinner anyway.

* * *

“Did you take your pictures?” asked Chuck sitting at their table. Cas had just taken a few pictures of himself next to the life size TARDIS that decorated the bar.

“Yes, I’ll send them to Dean as soon as I upload them to the computer,” said Cas smiling.

“Good, he’s going to freak out, he’s even more obsessed than you with that show,” said Chuck, “we should go,”

“Yes, I’m really tired,” said Cas yawning. They paid their bill and left the bar (the owner had recognized Chuck so he had asked him to sign a copy of his book for the bar).

They walked a few blocks to the next metro station and then waited patiently for their metro to arrive.

“I had a great day dad,” said Cas,

“Me too Cas, I’m glad we’re spending some time together, we needed this,”

Cas nodded and smiled at his father.

* * *

After driving Charlie to her apartment Dean arrived to his own. He had been kinda tipsy when he left the bar, but by now he was sober again so he decided to take Nik for a walk.

“C’mon buddy, just a quick walk around the corner cuz’ Cas is gonna call any minute now,” said Dean.

The little dog sat and waited obediently while Dean tried to tie the leash to his collar,

“Okay, let’s go.”

The streets were practically empty so the walk was calm and uneventful; Nik decided to stop at every tree he could find to mark his territory,

“Jesus, Nik… I think the other dogs get the message, this is your block,” said Dean rolling his eyes, “c’mon, I wanna be home when your dad calls.” The little dog stared at him clearly upset because Dean was interrupting his business. They kept walking and after a few minutes, Dean talked again,

“Isn’t it weird that we only call Cas your dad? I mean, technically you’re only his, but I mean, I help taking care of you and I take you out and talk to you and feed you sometimes… doesn’t that make me kinda your other dad?” asked Dean as if the dog could answer. “Okay, never mind, I don’t know where that came from,” he added.

They arrived back to the apartment and after feeding Nik and sorting the laundry, Dean went to his room to wait for Castiel’s call.

* * *

“Hotel, sweet hotel,” said Chuck when they finally arrived at their suite.

“I’m so tired,” said Cas yawning,

“Me too, do you need to use the bathroom? I’m going to take a shower,” informed Chuck,

“No, it’s fine, I’m going to upload the pictures to my computer so I can send them to Dean,” answered Cas,

“Okay, I’ll be right back, then,” said Chuck.

Cas introduced the memory card in the computer and waited for the pictures to upload; while he waited he finally called Dean.

“Hi babe,” answered Dean,

“Hello Dean, how was your day?” asked Cas,

“Great, grabbed a couple of beers with half of your workmates,” said Dean,

“Really? Who?”

“Benny, Charlie and Ash… we had a great time,”

“I’m glad to hear that,”

“What about you? How was Brooklyn?” asked Dean.

“Interesting and beautiful as usual, we went to a bar I think you might like,” said Cas,

“Did they sell nice booze?” asked Dean,

“Yes, dad said they have a nice variety of imported beers; I only drank lemonade so I don’t know… but no, I just sent you a few pictures,” said Cas.

“Where?”

“iMessage, you can see them on your iPod,” said Cas.

“Okay, wait a minute then, I just…” Cas could hear Dean opening his drawer and looking for his iPod.  
  
“You’re going to love them,” said Cas smiling,

“I found it, where am I supposed to… oh my fucking God! Castiel James Novak! Is that you outside a life size TARDIS?” asked Dean,

“Yes, I actually called just to say goodbye, I’m leaving with the doctor, I hope that you’ll understand,” said Cas,

“Totally, I mean if I were in your place I would do the same thing,” answered Dean, Cas laughed and shook his head,

“I love you so much,” he said.

“I love you too, man, you look really hot in these pictures, you’re even wearing a bowtie, are you trying to kill me?” said Dean.

“I decided to wear the bowtie in the morning, I didn’t know I was going to Brooklyn, so in my defense it just happened,” said Cas,

“Cas… you look so fucking hot, I swear… this is going to be my new wallpaper,” said Dean.

“Such an honor,” said Cas,

“Hey, I don’t put just any picture as my wallpaper,” said Dean.

“Like I said, such an honor,”

“So, anyway, what are you doing?”

“Uploading my pictures of the day and waiting for my turn to take a shower,”

“I though you’d be celebrating,” said Dean.

“I guess I still don’t believe it… I wont until I sign the contract,”

“Did you guys talk about money?”

“Not really, we’ll see that in our next meeting but dad was really optimistic about it; I can only imagine, I mean, I make a good amount of money just with the art I make for the covers of the books,”

“Jesus, what are you gonna do with all that money?” asked Dean,

“I was thinking, maybe we could buy a house… we don’t have to do it tomorrow, but if everything goes fine I would like to,”

“We really have a lot to talk about when you come back,” said Dean.

“Yes,”

“I miss you, and Nik misses you too, he keeps staring at your place on the bed, poor guy,”

“How is he doing? I miss both of you too,”

“He’s doing fine, I just took him for a walk like half an hour ago,”

“I’ll buy him some ridiculous dog souvenir,” said Cas,

“Oh my God, that would be awesome,” said Dean laughing,

“I already bought you something,” confessed Cas,

“A ridiculous souvenir?” asked Dean,

“Something like that,” answered Cas.

“Awesome,” said Dean.

“Oh, did you talk to my brother?” asked Cas suddenly remembering,

“We’re spending the afternoon together tomorrow; I’ll go to your dad’s and we’ll play videogames and eat tacos, I’ll talk to him, I promise,”

“Dad will be happy to hear that, he’s really worried,”

“We’re gonna help Gabe, if he’s depressed we’re gonna help him, okay?” asked Dean,

“I love you,” said Cas.

“Love you too,”

“I have to go, dad just came out of the shower and I’m really tired,” said Cas yawning.

“Okay, sleep well babe, Call me tomorrow okay?”

“Yes, I will… I love you Dean, sweet dreams,”

“I’ll dream about my hot boyfriend flying the TARDIS and wearing a bow tie,” answered Dean,

“That’s specific,” said Cas chuckling, “I hope all your dreams come true, good night,”

“Night,” said Dean before hanging up.

Cas placed his phone on the small table between his bed and his dad’s and then stood up,

“Dean is spending the evening with Gabriel tomorrow,” informed Castiel,

“Oh, that’s great, I trust Dean will be able to help him,” said Chuck drying his hair with a towel.

“He will,” said Cas smiling to his father; he grabbed his pajama from his suitcase and then walked towards the bathroom.

* * *

Dean woke up a little after 10 am on Saturday. He poured some coffee on a thermos and then took Nik to the park. They ran into Andrea, Taco and Coco.

“Hey,” said Dean still looking sleepy,

“Just woke up?” she asked,

“kinda,” said Dean; he sat next to Andrea on a bench while they observed their dogs play.

“You alone?” she asked,

“Yeah, Cas is out of town,” he said after taking a sip from his coffee,

“Work?” she asked,

“Yep, he’ll be gone for a few more days,”

“Must suck,” she said,

“Yeah, but he’s having a good time and we talk every day so it isn’t that bad,”

“Well, that’s something,” she said smiling.

They kept making small talk and watching their dogs play, after half an hour Dean started to get hungry so he said goodbye to Andrea, called Nik and walked back home.

* * *

Once home, Dean fed Nik and then prepared his breakfast; he was about to finish his omelet when his phone rang,

“Hi babe,”

“Hello Dean, how are you?” asked Cas,

“Finishing breakfast, took Nik for a walk first and we came back starving,”

“ Did you wake up late?”

“Yeah, what about you?” asked Dean while munching a slice of bread.

“Dad took pity of me I guess, since yesterday we did a lot of things and I was mentally tired, we slept until 9:30, which for dad is like the equivalent of sleeping until noon, you know he loves to wake up early. We’re on our way to the Met, we’re planning on spending a lazy weekend, today we’ll visit the Met and probably the American Museum of natural history,”

“That sounds great, I’ll give a bath to Nik after breakfast and then I’ll call your brother to see if he needs me to buy something for our dinner,” informed Dean,

“Dad’s really happy that you’re spending the day with him, he told me to thank you,”

“He doesn’t have to man, I already told you guys, Gabe is like a brother to me, you would do the same for Sammy,”

“Yes, you’re right,” said Cas.

“Don’t worry about it, really, I’ll handle it,” said Dean with confidence.

“I love you,” said Cas.

“I love you too Cas,”

“I have to go, we’re at the museum now,” said Cas.

“Okay, have fun… call me later if you can,”

“Okay, I’ll try not to call too late, have fun with Gabriel,”

“I will,”

After talking to Cas and cleaning the kitchen, Dean gave Nik a bath and then took a shower himself. He called Gabe but the Novak informed him that he had everything ready to cook their dinner, ‘just bring enough booze to sleep a horse’ he had said. Dean really wanted to cheer Gabe up so he made a mental note to buy everything they would need to prepare sweet cocktails.

He spent the rest of the morning cleaning the apartment and doing the laundry. Then he decided to Skype with Sammy. After talking with Sam for almost an hour, they finished the call and then Dean decided to pay a visit to Bobby before going to Chuck’s.

* * *

Finally, a little after 4 pm, Dean showed up at the Novak’s, with three plastic bags in one hand and a small dog in the other.

“Dean-o, how is it going?” asked Gabe.

“Great, I brought enough shit to get you wasted and give you a diabetic coma at the same time,” said Dean raising the bags. Gabe took the bags from Dean's hand and inspected what was inside,

“O M G… Winchester, you’re so thoughtful,” said Gabe. Dean placed Nik on the floor and then followed Gabe to the kitchen. Gabe put the bags on the island and then turned around excited to tell Dean their menu,

“Tonight, we’re having tacos… but not just your all American taco which you can find in a taco bell, no my friend, we’re having the real deal… carne asada and chorizo tacos, I already set up the grill to prepare the carne asada,” informed Gabe pretty excited, “and I actually managed to find real tortillas, not the fake shit you find at the store in this city,”

“Wow, I haven’t eaten real tortillas since we left California,” said Dean.

“Well, I talked to Claudia, the nice lady who cleans the house next door, she’s Colombian but her husband is Mexican so she hooked me up with all the ingredients we needed for tonight,”

  
“Awesome,” said Dean,

“Okay, let’s prepare some piñas coladas and then we can go outside and start cooking,” said Gabe.  
  
“Okay,” answered Dean. He took everything out of the bags and started mixing the ingredients to prepare their drinks.

* * *

“Jesus, Gabe… you should start your own restaurant, man,” said Dean while finishing his second round of tacos,

“I don’t know… I mean, I love to cook but baking is my passion, I love my bakery,” said Gabe while refilling his glass of piña colada.

“Well, you can keep cooking for us when you want to, then,” said Dean and then he burped loudly.

“Pig,” said Gabe before chugging his drink,

“Wow, man… easy on the booze, at this rate you’re gonna be wasted before midnight,” said Dean.

“Well, maybe I would drink less if you were drinking some of this, don’t think I didn’t notice you stopped,” said Gabe,

“Man, I can only handle like 3 glasses or that stuff, it’s too sweet,” said Dean,

“There’s Jack in the living room,” said Gabe,

“Now you’re talking,” said Dean, he stood up and walked towards the living room to grab his precious drink.

They kept eating and drinking, Gabe was surprised when Dean announced that he still had space for dessert, so they shared a box of cupcake Gabe had brought from the bakery. They had a great time; talking about their weeks and how excited they were about Cas and Chuck’s novels. Dean knew something was wrong with Gabe but he also knew Gabriel wouldn’t talk right away, he knew he would need to loosen up a little first and although getting him drunk wasn’t probably the best tactic, Dean knew it would be the only way to make Gabriel talk.

Cas called him after dinner, they talked for almost fifteen minutes and then said goodnight; Chuck talked to Gabe as well.

Eventually, a little after midnight while they were sitting outside by the pool, drinking and still eating cupcakes Dean decided to find out what was going on. He handed Gabe another cupcake and then asked,

“Dude, is everything okay?” asked Dean,

“What do you mean?” asked Gabe before biting his cupcake,

“Well, I don’t know, there’s something weird about you tonight,”

“ I’m drunk and full of tacos and cupcakes Dean,” said Gabe avoiding the subject.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it… there’s something, I don’t know… you seem off, are you okay?”

Gabe didn’t answer; he just took another gulp from his drink (he was drinking Margaritas now), and stared at the pool.

“You know you can tell me anything right? You’re like a brother to me, man…” said Dean. After almost a minute of silence, Gabe finally talked.

“I saw her,” he whispered still staring at the pool,

“Who?” asked Dean looking at Gabe.

“Kali,” he finally looked at Dean,

“Oh man, when?”

“Last week, I was walking out of a restaurant and I saw her, she was walking on the front sidewalk… holding hands with a guy,” said Gabe.

“Shit, man… I’m sorry, but I thought you didn’t love her anymore,” said Dean.

“It’s complicated,” said Gabe.

“Dude, you can tell me anything, I don’t know if I’ll be able to help but maybe it’ll make you feel better to let all that shit out; believe me, keeping all that stuff locked inside for a long time can make a number on you,”

“The voice of the experience talking,” said Gabe chuckling,

“Yep,” said Dean, he then took a swig straight from the bottle of Jack.

  
“It’s not what you’re thinking, I just… I stopped loving her a long time ago Dean, we were still together when I did, but I hadn’t seen her since our last fight, since December… and, I’ve always had this weird concept of love and relationships, so I’ve never let any of that shit bother me,”

“So what’s different this time?” asked Dean,

“Well, I saw her and I realized that I didn’t give a damn that she was with someone else, it didn’t make me happy or upset, it just happened, and for a couple of hours I was fine, but then it hit me, I had stopped loving her while we were still together, but what if she still loved me… I felt…. I felt like I had been the Naomi of our relationship… I felt like shit,” he took a swig straight from the blender jar, “a few months ago, before you had your big fight with Cas, we had a talk… we talked about true love and finding that one person… and he kept insisting that everyone has like ‘the one,’ you know? But I told him that I didn’t believe in that shit, I told him that I believe that everyone has a lot of loves of their life, because you get to love a lot of people during your life,” said Gabe.

“Interesting point of view,” said Dean,

“Well, the point is that your boyfriend is a stubborn little guy,” said Gabe,

“Dude, he’s way taller than you,” said Dean rolling his eyes,

“Shut up, I’m talking,”

“Sorry,”

“Well, the point is that he kept telling me that everyone has like that one person, and I kept trying to convince him about my theory, but the more I talked and the more he talked it was like I was trying to convince myself more than I was trying to convince Cas… and then,” he took another swig of his Margarita jar, “then he said that dad never found another woman after mom left because mom was the love of his life and that was it for dad in the love department,”

“Wow,” said Dean,

“Yeah… and then, then I thought that Cas was wrong because, what about widows that remarry after years? That doesn’t mean they didn’t love their first spouse… did they get like 2 loves of their life? Do they stop loving the first one? Do they love both the same way? Or people who divorce and then find another spouse, huh? What about them?” asked Gabe,

“Well, maybe they were destined to have 2 loves of their life… maybe it’s not the same for everyone… I don’t see myself loving anyone else, even when I thought Cas didn’t love me in that way, when I was with someone else, I couldn’t love them because I was in love with Cas… Castiel is the one for me,” said Dean.

“And that, Dean-o, got me thinking… what if Kali was the love of my life? What if she was the one? And I let her go because I kept fooling myself and trying to convince myself that I would love, like really, really love a shitload of girls in my life and now she’s with someone else and I don’t love her anymore so I wasted my only chance and… and I was the Naomi of our relationship,” said Gabe sobbing.

“Dude…” Dean patted him on the back, “first of all, it doesn’t work like that, she wasn’t the love of your life man,”

“How can you be so sure?” asked Gabe.

“Because, right now, being apart from your brother, even if we just talked on the phone and I know he’s happy… I still feel incomplete, like something’s missing… when we had that huge fight and I thought that I would never have him by my side again everything hurt man, inside of me… I was, I was in pain, I felt like I was dying… when I thought he was dating Charlie I lost it…”

“That never happened with me and Kali, we were more like good friends that had a lot of sex… but I didn’t miss her when we fought or when she was out of town,” said Gabe hugging the blender jar.

“See?” said Dean, “you just haven’t found that one person man, relax,” Gabe just nodded, “and you definitely are not like your mom, okay?”

“Yeah… yeah, I know… I just…Jesus, I think I’m having a midlife crisis or something,” said Gabe.

“Dude, you’re 26, you’re not having a midlife crisis… you’re just growing up man, realizing that there’s more in life than candies and being a clown,” said Dean ruffling his friend’s hair.

“You’re right… I just, I freaked out man… I don’t want to be like Naomi…”

“Maybe you should call Kali, but tomorrow… apologize for all that happened and tell her that you want her to be happy,”

“Yeah… yeah, you’re right… I don’t love her anymore, and to be honest I’m not sure if I ever did… but man, I don’t want to be that shitty ex boyfriend,” said Gabe.

“You’re gonna be fine Gabe… it’s nice that you’re trying to be a better person man,” said Dean.

“Yeah,” said Gabe. He grabbed another cupcake from the box and finished it in five seconds then he took another swig from his margarita; Dean could only wonder ‘how the hell can he stand all that sugar?’

“Gabe… next time something like this happens, you know you can talk to me, right? You don’t have to bottle all that shit inside you… Chuck was kinda worried, you know?” said Dean.

“Was he? Did he notice?”

“Man, he thought you were depressed and he was feeling like shit because he had now 2 sons with depression, you know how he is, he’s always worried about you and about being a good father,” said Dean,

“Fuck, I thought he hadn’t notice,”

“Man, he was really freaking out,”

“Shit,” whispered Gabe, “I’ll talk to him when he comes back, okay? He’s such an amazing father and I made him worry,” said Gabe, tears forming on his eyes again.

“Don’t cry man, you know how Chuck is, everything’s gonna be fine,” said Dean.

“Yeah, yeah… you’re right,” said Gabe.

They remained silent for a while, just staring at the stars and drinking. Dean was sure at this point he wouldn’t be able to drive home, so he was definitely spending the night there; he looked around and saw Nik sleeping next to the bench, everything was cool.

Suddenly, Gabe talked again.

“Man, I’m so wasted,” he said,

“That’s what happens when you mix all that sugar with alcohol,” said Dean,

“Shh… I’ve never been this wasted before, not even on the New Year’s party… I’m so wasted I’m gonna tell you a secret… because you’re such a nice friend Dean, and… and you deserve to know this, you know? I can’t tell this to Cas because it would break his heart… I’m the only one who knows about it… oh and Dad, he was there too…” said Gabe.

“What are you talking about,” asked Dean,

“Mom… mom left because of Cassie… and because of me… I told her to leave… the, the second time she left… I told her to fuck off,” whispered Gabe.

“What?”

“Dean… what I’m about to tell you… you can never tell this to Cassie okay?”

“Okay,” said Dean; he took another gulp from his bottle of Jack and stared at his friend waiting for a story,

 

_Someone called at the door while they were at the kitchen doing homework,_

_“Gabriel, can you get that?” asked Chuck,_

_Gabriel opened the door and was the first one to see her,_

_“Ma?” he asked, she smiled and ruffled his hair,_

_“Hi Gabe, you look so big, and your hair is longer,” she said with a smile,_

_“You look different too, did you find what you were looking for?” asked Gabriel,_

_“Yes honey, but I need to talk to your father now, is he home?” she asked; Gabriel took her hand and walked her to the kitchen, he was so happy, mom was back…_

_“Dad, look who’s here,” said Gabriel with a smile; Chuck was sitting at the table helping Cas with math._

_“Naomi,” said Chuck with a serious face, “guys, why don’t you go upstairs? I’ll call you when dinner is ready,” said Chuck calmly,_

_“Hello mother,” said Cas,_

_“Good afternoon Castiel,” answered Naomi,_

_“Will mom stay for dinner?” asked Gabriel,_

_“We’ll see,” answered Chuck. Cas and Gabriel went upstairs and finished studying._

_After an hour, curiosity won and he told Cas he needed to use the bathroom,_

_“Okay,” said Cas, he was now reading a Harry Potter book._

_Gabe left their room and walked like a ninja towards the stairs, he walked slowly, he didn’t want his parents to hear him; when he finally was downstairs he could hear them talking, he stood outside the kitchen; the door was closed._

_“You don’t love me anymore?” she asked. Gabe stood there in shock,_

_“I’m sorry but I don’t… I can’t,” said Chuck,_

_“You once believed in God, Chuck, and you promised… you promised in front of the priest in front of the whole church to love me forever, and I…”_

_“That applies to you as well Naomi, did you stop to think about that when you left me? I’m sorry but you can’t hide your selfishness behind your religion,”_

_“Please Chuck lets talk about this… if you ever loved me, let me talk… do it for the kids,” she said. Gabe felt upset with his dad, what was wrong with him? He was being really mean,_

_“Talk,” said Chuck,_

_“Look, I know I didn’t act in the right way, I shouldn’t have left like that, but I’m not sorry I left… it helped me to find God again, and find myself… now I’m at peace with me and with my God. Now that I’m happy with myself I can be happy with you,” she said,_

_“It’s funny… when you left you were so mad with your God because of the life he gave you, and now you come back to that life, I don’t understand you Naomi,”_

_“I was mad at him, and I’m sorry, I didn’t understand in that moment that he was testing me by giving me a broken child, but now I do and there’s so….”_

_“A broken child? He’s not broken Naomi, he’s a good kid,” Gabe didn’t understand what was going on? Who where they talking about?_

_“He’s a burden Chuck, I’ve been searching, there are places where we can send him, they have special care for people like him,”_

_“Are you suggesting… that I send my son to a mental hospital because you think he’s broken?” asked Chuck raising his voice,_

_“He’s not normal… and it is so demanding to have a child like that, we weren’t a couple anymore because we were to busy trying to raise him… it doesn’t have to be like that,” she said._

_“He’s not normal? Are you listening to yourself? Castiel is a normal kid, he’s a loving, intelligent child... his Asperger’s doesn’t make him a burden,” Gabe couldn’t hear anything for a few seconds, only the sobs of his mother._

_“He didn’t ask to be born like this… he didn’t ask to be born in the first place Naomi, you can’t bring a kid to this world without thinking there will be consequences; what were you expecting? That all your kids would be exact copies of Michael?”_

_“You’ve changed,” said Naomi,_

_“Well… you’re not the same either,” said Chuck._

_“This is all the fault of that kid, he ruined our lives,” she said,_

_“I want you to leave,” said Chuck, “I want the divorce and I want full custody of my kids,” he said,_

_“Michael is never choosing you, he loves me,” said Naomi clearly trying to hurt Chuck,_

_“Michael is 19 years old, he’s an adult and we can’t force him to do anything, but Castiel and Gabriel are staying with me,” said Chuck,_

_“You should ask Gabriel first Chuck, you can’t take these kind of decisions by yourself,” she said clearly upset. Gabriel pushed the door open and stared at his mother,_  
  
_“I want to stay with dad,” said Gabe,_

_“Gabriel,” said Naomi surprised of seeing her son there,_

_“No, I want you to leave too… you can’t love my brother, then I can’t love you either, I don’t want to see you again, ever,” said Gabe crying,_

_“I hope one day God forgives you for what you’ve said to me Gabriel,” she said,_

_“And I hope one day he forgives you for what you’ve said about your own son… Naomi,” said Gabe. He dried his tears with the back of his hand and walked out of the kitchen._

_Gabe ran to the bathroom and washed his face. He looked at the mirror and took deep breaths trying to calm down; he didn’t want Castiel to see him like that. After a couple of minutes he walked back to their room._

_“Are you okay?” asked Castiel, he was still reading his book,_

_“Yeah, I just… have a tummy ache,” answered Gabe rubbing his stomach,_

_“Okay,” answered Cas._

_“Cas?” asked Gabriel,_

_“Yes Gabe?” answered Cas,_

_“I love you,” said Gabe,_

_“Okay, I love you too,” answered Cas whit a little smile._

 

* * *

“When we went downstairs for dinner she was gone… I never talked about that day with dad again… but I still think about what she said… she wanted to get rid of Cas,” said Gabe after finishing his story,

“That’s why you don’t talk to her, even when she calls, when she asks about you,” said Dean.

“Yep,” said Gabe.

“I’m sorry Gabe,”

“You don’t have to be, I don’t regret saying that to her, it was the best for us, we grew up happy and together, ” Gabe took another swig from his Margarita jar.

“That woman doesn’t deserve her sons, even Michael is too good for her,” said Dean,

“Yeah…” said Gabe.

“I really hope I don’t get to see her ever again, man… you can be kinda polite with her because she’s your mom but if I ever had to see her acting like that with Cas, I wouldn’t play nice,” said Dean,

“I’m sorry to tell you this but you’ll have to see her sooner or later,”

“Why?” asked Dean,

“Michael’s gonna get married eventually,” said Gabe,

“Oh, right...” said Dean before taking another swig from his bottle.

“You have to promise you won’t tell this to Cas,” said Gabe.

“Of course I won’t… it would destroy him,” answered Dean.

* * *

The next morning, when he woke up, Dean could feel a pounding headache and nausea; his mouth tasted as if an animal had died in there,

“Fuck,” he said, his throat sore. He opened one eye and soon realized that he wasn’t in his room. It took him almost a minute to remember that he was at Castiel’s old room in Chuck’s house. Luckily the curtains were drawn; he walked out of bed straight to Cas’s bathroom. He found a bottle of aspirins and took a couple of pills then he grabbed a new toothbrush from one of the cabinets and brushed his teeth. He decided to take a shower.

Once he was clean and feeling a little better thanks to the aspirins, he decided to go back to bed; he looked at the hour on his phone and saw that it was 10 am, ‘just one more hour’ he thought. He grabbed an old pair of pajama pants from Cas’s drawers and went back to sleep.

“He’s not answering,” said Cas,

“They probably stayed up until late last night,” said Chuck while reading the paper. They had just finished breakfast in the hotel restaurant and now they were getting ready to go out and visit more places.

“Yes, knowing them, they probably drank a lot of Margaritas and talked about things that happened when we were kids,” said Cas. He walked towards his bed and grabbed his backpack to get everything ready for the day.

“Hopefully they talked about what’s bothering Gabriel,” said Chuck,

“Dean promised he would help him, dad,” said Cas with confidence. In that moment they were interrupted by the sound of the TARDIS landing. Cas grabbed his phone and saw Dean’s name on the screen,

“Hello Dean,” he answered,

“Hi babe, sorry I didn’t answer your calls, I was sleeping,” said Dean yawning, “I got really wasted last night,”

“Hangover?” asked Cas,

“Only when I open my eyes,” said Dean smiling, “but I’ll live… I spent the night at your old room by the way, I wasn’t in condition to drive last night,”

“I’m glad you stayed then,” said Cas, “Did you talk to Gabe?” Chuck got up of his seat and sat on Cas’s bed, “wait, I’ll put you on speaker,”

“Okay,” said Dean. Cas pressed the speaker button and placed the phone on the bed next to his dad.

“So you were saying…” said Cas,

“Oh, right… yeah, I talked to him, he’s fine, he was a little sad cuz’ he saw Kali last week and it got him thinking, that’s why he was so distant, but he’s fine… I told him you guys were worried and he’s gonna talk to Chuck. We talked a lot, drank a lot, eat a lot and had a good time… so yeah, he’s fine; probably hungover somewhere in the house, but fine,” said Dean.

“Thank you Dean,” said Chuck,

“Hey, don’t worry Chuck, I told you I would talk to him, I guess he’s just scared of growing up and all that stuff…” Chuck laughed,

“Well Dean, you should probably go back to sleep, just make sure Nik has enough food and water please,” said Cas,

“Will do… talk to you later guys, love you Cas,” he said.

“I love you too Dean, thanks for calling,” said Cas before hanging up.

Chuck smiled and looked at Cas,

“I had a lot of theories about what was happening with your brother… I never imagined it would involve his ex,” said Chuck,

“Me neither, but at least now we know and Dean says he’s fine,” said Cas.

“Dean is a very good addition to this family, Castiel,” said Chuck.

“He’s always been part of our family dad,” said Cas.

“I’m really looking forward for the day you two make it official,” said Chuck.

“What?” asked Cas suddenly blushing,

“Hey, I’m not trying to put any pressure here but if you ever get married I’ll be one of the happiest in this family,” said Chuck with a smirk.

“Thanks dad, it is too soon, though we want to be together for a very, very, very long time, so I guess that’s going to happen eventually,” said Cas.

“Good,” said Chuck. He stood up and walked towards the bathroom, “I’ll just brush my teeth and then we can leave,” said Chuck.

“Okay,” answered Cas.

* * *

After the call, Dean walked downstairs to grab some water and check on Nik. He found the little dog sound asleep under the kitchen table then he walked towards the laundry room (where they kept bowls and toys for when Nik visited) and found Nik’s little bowl overflowing with dog food.

“Man, I really was drunk last night,” he said out loud. He tried to return some of the food to the (now) empty bag but he got dizzy with the sudden movement so after checking if Nik had water, he decided to go back to bed and clean the mess later.

* * *

A little before 4pm Dean finally returned to his apartment; after helping Gabe to clean up their mess and giving Nik a bath because he had somehow managed to smear frosting (from the cupcakes) all over his back.

“Man, I need a bath,” he told Nik when they were back in the apartment. He even used one of Cas’s bath bombs and took a nice relaxing bath.

After the bath, he put on some clean pajama pants and an old t-shirt that belonged to Cas. He spent the rest of the evening watching Netflix.

“Okay, now I’m ready to start my week,” he said.

* * *

 

Cas’s Sunday was full of fun of course; they spent it at Coney Island.  They walked through the boardwalk and visited the beach.

Cas took a lot of pictures and Chuck was happy because his son was happy.

They returned to the hotel after 8pm, Cas took a shower and then called Dean.  He told him about his day and Dean told him more of what he’d talked with Gabe (Except for the part where they talked about Naomi).

Cas told him about the pictures he took and his plans for the next day (they were going to Greenwich Village, SoHo, Chinatown, Tribeca, the 9/11 memorial and museum and finally the Statue of Liberty). Dean asked him for pictures and a silly souvenir from the statue and then they hanged up because Cas was really tired.

He fell asleep 5 minutes after talking to Dean.

* * *

 

Monday was uneventful for Dean; or as uneventful as a day can be after you spent your weekend drinking with your friends and your dog spent the whole Sunday smelling like a giant cupcake.

He had lunch with Bobby and told him about his weird weekend. Bobby told him he’d met the new sheriff, a nice lady called Jody Mills; he’d met her in the farmer’s market on Saturday. Dean immediately knew that Bobby had liked her.

After lunch, Dean talked to Cas, who was on his way to the Statue of Liberty; they talked for a while, until Cas reached his destination and then they had to end the call.

Dean had filet mignon for dinner and then called Charlie while he took Nik for a walk. They agreed to have dinner together the next day to celebrate Cas’s success and because it would be a Tuesday and it would feel weird for Charlie to spend it at home all alone.

Dean took a shower when he returned to the apartment and then called Cas, 

“I bought you your silly souvenir, and something for Nikola Tesla too,” informed Cas.

“Awesome,” answered Dean, “are you nervous for tomorrow?” he asked,

“A little bit, though dad says it’s a mere formality and that it’ll be boring and full of legal talk… I’ll meet the rest of the team and we’ll talk about money and book tours and all that… I guess today everything’s going to feel real,” said Cas.

“Everything’s gonna be fine, babe… I’m so happy for you,” said Dean.

“I really miss you, you know? New York Is my favorite place in the world, this is supposed to be my happy place, but… you’re not here with me so, even though I’m happy… I’m not 100% happy, I need you with me to be complete… that’s a little scary isn’t it?”

“Not at all man, I had a great time this weekend but I know it would’ve be a thousand time better if you were with me… but this is good, being all dependent on each other isn’t healthy, besides, you’re gonna be travelling a lot and we need to get used to this,” said Dean. 

“You’re coming with me to the cities that are closer to Sioux Falls, right?” asked Cas.

“I promise,” said Dean.

“Good...” whispered Cas.

“You should go to bed babe, you need to be rested and relaxed for tomorrow,” said Dean.

 “You’re right… I love you Dean, good night,” said Cas.

 “Love you too babe,” answered Dean.

 Dean watched a couple of episodes of Doctor Who and then he went to bed.

 

* * *

 

Next day found Cas wearing the same outfit he wore for the re opening of the garage. Cas, Chuck and Vicky were at a big conference room with a team of 10 people (including Mr. Yates and his daughter). They introduced him one by one (and he had to shake a lot of hands).

 

First they talked about money, and Chuck was right, Cas was going to be able to buy a big house pretty soon. Chuck and Vicky made sure that everything was fairly divided between Chuck and Cas (and of course, the publishing company and Vicky), they talked about plans and schedules and the future. All Cas wanted to do was draw and work with his father, but in order to do that he needed to be part of this meeting.

 They had a lunch break, in which they brought sushi to the office and everyone kept talking about numbers and plans.

 At one point Shirley sat next to Cas,

 “This is a little boring, isn’t it?” she asked,

 “I guess, but is something we needed to do,” answered Cas.

 “You made a great deal with the company, they really like your work,” she commented,

 “Well, it is a big responsibility but I’m glad they liked it, it makes me want to work harder,” answered Cas.

 “Are you moving to the city?” she asked smiling,

 “No, I don’t think so, I have a life back in South Dakota and I really like it,” said Cas,

 “That sucks, I can tell you love New York,” she said, 

“Yes… I do,” answered Cas. He finished his last sushi roll and smiled at her, “but I love my life back home even more,"

Shirley smiled at him and took a deep breath, 

“Maybe we can hang out while you’re here, you’re staying the rest of the week right? We could visit some clubs,” 

Cas looked at her and blinked,

“I’m not a big fan of clubs actually, I prefer museums… my brother Gabriel says I was born being a boring old man with expensive taste,” said Cas smiling.

“Oh, we can go to a museum then, or maybe Broadway,”

“I would love that, it’s been I while since I last saw a play,” said Cas.

“You seem like a very interesting man, Castiel,” she said, placing her hand on Cas’s arm. 

“Once you get to know me you’ll find that I’m actually pretty boring,” answered Cas.

“Castiel,” called someone from the other side of the table.

“Yes?” he asked,

“Hi, I’m Rose Thomson, marketing department,” said an Asian woman who looked around 40.

“Hello,” said Cas.

 “Honey, I gotta admit I was so excited when you and your father came up with this idea… I mean, the mysterious identity of ‘C.N’ is finally going to be revealed… and well, this is going to be huge, I already can see it; fans have been speculating for years, but I’m pretty sure that non of them ever imagined that C.N was in reality a handsome 24 year old with a shy smile and deep blue eyes… your fans, specially the women, are going to go crazy,” she said.

“I um… thank you, I guess… but, but I’m more than just a handsome 24 year old, like you said, and that’s part of why I decided to do this; I want people to see that you don’t have to be perfect and that what matters is what’s inside of every one of us… a lot of events in my life took me to go to college and then to become an illustrator and an artist… so I would really appreciate if you didn’t try to sell me like just another pretty face, please,” answered Cas.

“Wow, handsome and smart,” said Mrs. Thompson, “I like how you think son, I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to work with that… and you know what? You’re right… fans will want to know everything about Castiel Novak, who you really are, and they’ll love your personality… so, why don’t you tell us a little more about you? This is important too,” she said.

“Umm… okay, I guess… my name is Castiel James Novak, I am an illustrator and a digital artist, and I have Asperger’s syndrome… I’m autistic,” said Cas.

“Wow,” said someone at the table,

“And I would really appreciate if we wouldn’t have to keep that a secret because I want other people like me to see that they can do great things too, and I want people to know more about the syndrome,” he said.

 “That can be done, there’s the ‘interesting’ aspect we were looking for, believe me son, you’re gonna be a goldmine,” said Rose Thomson. Cas wasn’t sure if he liked the lady or not. He understood a little of course, she was seeing him by the marketing side; her job was to sell.

“Okay,” said Cas. 

“So, let me get this right… Castiel Novak, a handsome 24 year old, single, illustrator and digital artist, with Asperger’s syndrome and who wants to tell the world that Asperger’s isn’t an impediment to accomplish your goals…” she started reading from her notes,

 “Um… I’m not single,” said Cas. Chuck tried really hard not to laugh at the face of exasperation of Mrs. Thomson,

“Are you married?” she asked,

“No, I have a boyfriend,” answered Cas,

“You’re gay?” asked Shirley,

 “Yes,” said Cas.

“Okay… um…” said Mrs. Thomson,

“And just as my Asperger’s I want people to know,” said Cas. Chuck patted his shoulder, “I mean, I don’t have to run around Central Park wearing a rainbow flag, but I want the freedom to acknowledge it during interviews or well, whenever I want,”

“Okay, so… we don’t have to mention it but if people ask you, you wont hide it?” asked the lady,

 “Yes… I’m not very keen of people knowing about my personal life, but I won’t lie to my public either,” he said.

“You’re a little stubborn, you know that?”

“So, I’ve been told,” answered Cas with a smirk.

 “Deal,” said Mrs. Thomson,

“Thanks,” answered Cas with a big smile; he couldn’t wait to call Dean and tell him about the meeting.

 

After all the paperwork and the talking and planning, Cas, Vicky and Chuck finally were free to go a little after 7pm. Cas had said goodbye to everyone in the room, by that point they were all aware of the fact that Cas didn’t like to shake hands.

“So, do you still want to visit a museum? I still haven’t visited the Guggenheim this time,” said Cas to Shirley on their way out,

“Yeah, sure… I’ll call you,” she said rolling her eyes. It took Cas a few seconds but he finally understood, 

“You’re not going to call me,” he said,

“No, I don’t think so,” she said.

“Were you trying to go on a date with me?” asked Cas tilting his head to one side. Chuck and Vicky looked at her waiting for an answer,

“You’re a little slow aren’t you? Yeah, I wanted to go on a date with you, but I wanted to date a man, not a woman, so… sorry,” she said sounding a little mean.

“I’m not a woman, I’m a man who happens to like men… but don’t worry, maybe you’re a little slow so it’ll take you a little to get it,” answered Cas. He got into the elevator and Shirley looked at him with a mix of shock and rage.

“Nice comeback,” said Vicky once they were in the elevator.

 “I tried no to be too hard, I know I’ll have to see her again eventually,” said Cas.

“You’re probably right,” said Vicky, “still, I like that you didn’t let any of those guys tell you what to do,” she was smiling,

 “We should go celebrate,” said Chuck, “who wants pizza?”

 

* * *

 

 

“So I just told them that I’m not single and that I have a boyfriend,” said Cas on the phone.

“Oh my God, I can imagine their faces… what the fuck is wrong with them, they were talking like they were trying to sell you,” said Dean, he was washing dishes with Charlie and they were talking on speaker with Cas.

“I’m glad you did it Cas,” said Charlie while drying a cup.

“I had to… I don’t know what got into me, but I had to… like I told them, I don’t want to lie to my public… it is one thing to remain anonymous for almost 7 years but I’m not going to stay in the autistic closet and I’m definitely not going to stay in the gay closet,” said Cas.

“You tell them!” cheered Charlie. Cas laughed,

“So what’s next?” asked Dean, “why do you still need to have a meeting on Thursday?”

“Well, after we read their first offer we talked and of course there were modifications on the contracts, so they’re going to rewrite everything and we’re meeting on Thursday to read it all again and sign,” said Cas.

“Man, I can’t wait for you to come back,” said Dean. He finished washing the last couple of plates and grabbed a dry rag to dry his hands.

“Me neither, but I have good news,” he said,

“What? More good news?” asked Charlie,

“Yes, dad needs to be in Sioux Falls for a charity event on Friday night, so we changed our flights, we’re leaving on Friday morning instead of Friday night,” said Cas,

“I’ll get to see you sooner,” answered Dean with a huge smile,

“Yes, I wanted to go back on Thursday after we sign the papers but dad insisted on staying a little longer in case the meeting ends up lasting as much as the one we had today,” said Cas.

“Well, that sucks, but at least we’ll get to see each other sooner… at what time will you be here?” asked Dean.

“12:30 pm,” answered Cas,

“Awesome, I’m skipping work and I’ll go pick you up,” said Dean,

“I can’t wait,” said Cas.

“When are you coming back to Kraken?” asked Charlie,

“Probably Monday or Tuesday,” said Cas,

“Great, I love the place but it isn’t the same without you… and Benny wants to hire a formal secretary instead of leaving Kevin at the reception all the time, but he’s waiting for you to come back so you can help him decide,” she said.

“I’m really looking forward to go back to Kraken, I’ll be busy with the graphic novel these next months but I want to help in Kraken as much as I can,” he said.

“We’ll make it work,” said Charlie.

“I should go, Pizza is finally here,” said Cas.

“Man, you really are going to keep your promise aren’t you?” asked Dean chuckling,

“What promise?” asked Charlie.

“Having pizza for dinner every single day of his trip,” answered Dean.

“Living the dream,” said Charlie.

“See you soon guys,” said Cas, “I love you… both of you,” said Cas.

“Love you too,” said Dean and Charlie at the same time.

“Oh, and Dean…” said Cas.

“What?” asked Dean.

“You’re hot and you turn me on, goodbye,” said Cas right before hanging up.

Charlie started laughing as soon as she noticed that Dean was blushing.

“Shut up Red,” he said.

“Oh my God man, you’re practically melting,” she said.

“He doesn’t say that to me very often, so yeah… sue me,” he said.

“Sorry… sorry,” she said trying to stop.

“Whatever, c’mon, lets go play some Halo,”

“Oh, Dean Winchester, you truly know the way to a girl’s heart,” she said.

* * *

Cas and Chuck spent the next days looking for events and attractions and visiting every museum they could find. Cas would end up really tired every night but he kept telling himself ‘you can sleep when you go back home, right now you need to see as much of you can of this city.’ He got presents for everyone at Kraken (three for Charlie of course), for Dean, Bobby, Missouri, his brothers, jill and even Sam and Jess.

Eventually, with all the tiredness of the week and some rain, Thursday finally came.

They arranged for the meeting to be after lunch so after having an amazing Chinese food in Chinatown, they (Cas, Chuck and Vicky,) headed to the meeting.

The group was smaller this time, only 5 people were there, including Mrs. Thomson, Mr. Yates and Shirley; Cas sat between his father and Vicky; Shirley didn’t look at him at all, not even once.

They made a final review of their contract, (which Vicky read very carefully) and after almost two hours they signed. It finally felt real; Cas was working with his dad on the graphic novels.

Vicky drove them to a pizza parlor after the meeting, she didn’t stay because she had a dinner with her family but she promised she would drive them to the airport in the morning.

“This is an amazing way to finish our trip,” said Chuck raising his glass of wine, “to our graphic novels,” he added,

“Cheers,” said Cas.

They ate happily and talked about nothing and everything. Chuck was planning on taking a small vacation with Gabe the next week, maybe visiting Michael and Jill. Cas was so happy to see his dad excited and happy as well.

After dinner they walked back to the hotel. Chuck had a shower and Cas called Dean while he waited for his turn. They talked for almost 15 minutes. They both were very excited because they would be finally seeing each other again,

“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep,” said Dean.

“I don’t think I’ll be able either, but that’s because we have to be at the airport at 6 am, which means that Vicky is picking us up at 5,” said Cas.

“Well, at least you can sleep during the whole flight,” said Dean.

“That’s the plan,” said Cas.

“Talking about plans, you better not make any for this weekend because you and I are spending it together cuddling and talking and watching movies,” said Dean.

“I know,” said Cas chuckling, “I’m not leaving that apartment until Monday, at least,”

“That’s the spirit,” said Dean,

“I better go Dean, I still need to take a shower and finish packing,” said Cas.

“I love you so fucking much Cas, I can’t wait to see you,” said Dean.

“I love you too Dean, tomorrow by this time, we’ll be together cuddling in the couch and watching Netflix,” said Cas.

“Where’s a fucking TARDIS when I need it?” asked Dean.

“Good night Dean, get some sleep,” said Cas.

“Good night babe,” said Dean.

* * *

Dean woke up pretty happy next morning. He took Nik for a walk at 7:30 am then he returned and had breakfast. After breakfast he cleaned the apartment (though it was actually pretty clean already,) washed the impala and then had a shower; finally at 11:15 he drove towards Chuck’s to pick up Gabe.

Gabe was already waiting outside when he arrived; he sat next to Dean on the front seat and they drove to the airport,

“Jesus, Dean you need to stop smiling or your face’s gonna get suck like that,” joked Gabe,

“Shut up, I’m happy, okay?” said Dean; he didn’t want to use words like ‘I’m seeing the love of my life again’ or anything in that line, after his conversation with Gabe on Saturday.

“I’m happy you guys are in love Dean, really… I know I was a little down last couple of weeks but I’m really happy for you man, I’ve never seen you this happy,” said Gabe.

“Thanks man,” answered Dean; he stretched his hand and ruffled Gabe’s hair.

On their way to the airport Dean stopped and bought a cauliflower to which Gabe just rolled his eyes. They arrived at the airport at 12:05. After they parked Baby and bought coffees for everyone (tea for Cas) they sat outside the arrivals door. Finally, at 12:46, Cas and Chuck Novak walked out the door, each of them pushing a trolley. Cas smiled widely when he saw his boyfriend and his brother waiting for them, he looked tired but happy. Once away from the sea of people Cas stood in front of Dean and said,

“Hello Dean,”

Dean smiled like an idiot in love and handed Cas the cauliflower. Cas laughed, acted like it was a bouquet of roses and smelled it then he placed it on the trolley,

“Come here,” he said. He pulled Dean’s shirt and planted a kiss on his lips; it was soft and full of love. Dean passed his hands through Cas’s hair and happily returned the kiss; a few seconds later they heard someone clearing their throat. Cas let go of Dean and blushed,

“Sorry, hi Gabe,” he said,

“What? No kiss for me?” asked Gabe with a smirk,

“No, sorry,” said Cas, “but I brought you a t-shirt,”

“Thanks little bro,” said Gabe. Dean shook hands with Chuck and then handed him his coffee,

“Thank you guys, we couldn’t sleep at all during the whole flight, a poor baby kept crying,” said Chuck chugging his coffee.

Dean handed Cas his tea and then helped Cas with his luggage since the trolley wasn’t allowed to leave the building. Gabe helped chuck.

“At some point during the plane I was pretty sure that I was about to become the crying baby,” said Cas.

“That bad?” asked Dean.

“Too loud,” said Cas scrunching his nose,

“We’ll spend a quiet day at the apartment okay? No noises at all,” said Dean and then he placed a soft kiss on Cas’s cheek.

They placed the luggage in the trunk and then they climbed in the Car; Dean and Cas on the front seat.

“I was going to suggest going for lunch together but Cas is really tired and I think he needs to rest,” said Chuck. Cas was staring at the window and moving his hands repeatedly.

“Yes, Cas is tired and grumpy,” said Castiel in a monotone voice. Dean chuckled; he knew that Cas needed to sleep as soon as possible.

“Yeah, I think that’s for the best… besides, you have your charity event and you should get some shut eye too,” said Dean.

“Maybe we could do something tomorrow,” suggested Gabe,

“No way, sorry but I had to spend more than a week without Cas… we’re staying home wearing pajamas the whole weekend and watching Netflix,” said Dean. Cas smiled and leaned against the window. He was really tired and he felt upset after all the noise during the flight. He liked hearing Dean’s voice; it was soothing. Within minutes he was sound asleep.

* * *

“Cas, babe… wake up,” said Dean placing his hand on Cas’s arm,

“What?” asked Cas a little disoriented,

“We’re home,” whispered Dean. Cas nodded and stretched. He smiled at Dean and opened his door.

They took the luggage out of the trunk and walked towards the elevator. Cas Leaned his head against Dean’s shoulder and Dean pressed a soft kiss to Cas’s head.

When they opened the door of the apartment Nik was already barking and jumping in excitement.

“Hello Nikola Tesla,” said Cas picking up his little pet. Nik started licking Cas’s hand and Cas placed a kiss on his head.

“He missed you,” said Dean smiling.

“I missed him too… both of you,” said Cas while yawning.

“Wanna take a nap?” asked Dean. Cas placed Nik back on the floor.

“I wanted to show you your presents first,” said Cas.

“Babe, that can wait, you look really tired and I could use a little nap too,” said Dean.

“Okay, you’re probably right, this trip was mentally exhausting, I can’t even count the amount of times I almost had a meltdown during the past week,” said Cas.

“Well, now you’re back home and we’re gonna spend a relaxing weekend together,” said Dean.

“Okay, lets start with that nap, then,” said Cas.

* * *

Dean woke up after an hour but Cas was still sound asleep. The Winchester got out of bed trying not to make any noise and walked to the kitchen to cook something for Cas. There wasn’t much in the fridge but he managed to cook a nice soup of vegetables and noodles. He was preparing a lemonade when he heard Cas walking into the kitchen,

“Afternoon sleeping beauty,” said Dean.

“Hello,” said Cas with husky voice.

“Slept well?” asked Dean,

“Yes, it was only a couple of hours but I really needed to rest,” said Cas, “sorry I was a little grumpy earlier,”

“It’s okay babe, I know you were tired,” said Dean walking towards his boyfriend.

“I missed you,” said Cas; Dean smiled and handed him a glass of lemonade,

“I missed you too babe, a lot… now, here, drink this… vitamin C for my tired man,” said Dean. Cas grabbed the glass and drank the whole thing within seconds.

“I was thirsty,” he said; he placed the glass on the table and then placed his arms around Dean’s waist.

“I love you so fucking much Cas,” said Dean.

“I love you too,” said Cas; he closed the distance that separated him from his boyfriend and planted a kiss on his lips. The kiss was slow and long, they didn’t know how much time passed and they didn’t care, they had the whole weekend to be like this, to spend every second together.

Eventually, they had to stop kissing because Cas’s stomach started making noises; he was starving. They had soup and lemonade and Dean made a couple of turkey sandwiches. After their meal they cleaned the kitchen and then they went back to their room taking Cas’s luggage with them.

“What do you wanna do now?” asked Dean,

“I want to give you your presents and then maybe we could take Nikola Tesla outside,” said Cas.

“Okay,” said Dean smiling. Cas Opened one of his suitcases (Dean noticed he had left with one but returned with two of them). The new suitcase was filled with presents for everyone. Cas grabbed a plastic bag and handed it to Dean, Dean opened it and found inside a pair of black pajama pants with the famous logo of ‘I love NY’ printed all over. Dean chuckled when he opened it,

“Wow,” he said with a smirk; inside the bag he also found a small shirt made with the same fabric as the pajama pants, it was for Nik, “I can’t believe it,”  
  
“You wanted a silly souvenir, might as well make it functional too, now we can all wear matching pajamas,” said Cas smiling; he grabbed a pair of pajama pants identical to Dean’s (except Cas’s were blue) from inside the suitcase. Dean burst into laugh,

“Please tell me you bought more shit like that,” said Dean,

“Of course I did, I even got you a lighter shaped as the Statue of Liberty and you have to push its arm to turn it on,” said Cas.

Dean kept opening presents; soon he found that most of the stuff in that suitcase were for him. He got a couple of black jeans. A beautiful green bowtie, three books about the history of cars. A puzzle, a lighter, 5 vinyl records, boxer briefs with the ‘I love NY’ logo, and sunglasses with the words ‘I love NY’ printed on the glass. Cas left a box for last, he handed it to Dean and the Winchester went speechless when he saw it.

“No way, and iPad!” said Dean,

“I don’t mind sharing mine with you but I know you love it plus we can face time better now,” said Cas smiling.

“Cas, I can’t believe this,” said Dean smiling,

“We should take Nik out now, he looks a little impatient… I can help you configure it when we come back,” said Cas while looking at Nik who kept running in circles and jumping.

“C’mon then,” said Dean.

They walked around the block with Nik. Dean and Cas held hands the whole time. Cas told him more about his travel, even the part where Shirley called him a girl and what he responded to that. Dean let him talk; when he saw that Cas was stressed after the flight he actually thought that his boyfriend might go silent for a few days, luckily, Cas was talking and Dean couldn’t be more relieved of seeing him so happy.

Cas was really tired, both physically and mentally after his trip and he was making a huge effort to stay awake and keep talking. He knew he needed to rest but he wanted to spend time with Dean.

Dean knew Cas was exhausted he was pretty sure his boyfriend would fall asleep as soon as they arrive back home.

* * *

After their walk Cas helped Dean with his iPad while comfortably lying on their bed; Dean already knew how to download apps thanks to Cas’s own iPad, so after half an hour his tablet was filled with a huge amount of games and apps.

“I need a shower,” declared Cas eventually when he felt he was starting to doze off. He stood up and walked towards his dresser to grab clean pajama pants. He went back to the bed and to Dean’s disbelief Cas climbed on top of him, took the iPad off of Dean’s hands and after placing it carefully on the bed he started kissing Dean’s neck.

“Hmmm,” was the only sound Dean could make.

“Do you want to join me?” asked Cas, “maybe we can pick up where we left,” he lifted his head and planted a kiss on Dean’s lips; Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist and started kissing back.

“Dude,” said Dean laughing,

“What?” asked Cas yawning,

“You’re falling asleep while making out,” said Dean.

Cas snorted and rolled to his side of the bed,

“It was worth a try,” he said yawning again, “I’m exhausted,”

“C’mon, go take your shower so you can sleep for the next 15 hours,” said Dean and then he planted a quick kiss on Cas’ cheek.

* * *

After a quick shower of no more than 7 minutes, Cas went back to their room to find Dean still fiddling with his iPad.

“How was the shower?” asked Dean when Cas sat next to him.

“Excellent, exactly what I needed,” answered Cas. Dean placed his tablet on his bedside table and opened his arms as an invitation for Cas to cuddle. Cas giggled and soon found a comfortable position next to his boyfriend.

“I missed you so fucking much… this, being able to hold you, man…” said Dean. Cas didn’t say anything and for a moment Dean assumed that he had fallen asleep until he suddenly broke the peaceful silence,

“I really wanted to pick up where we left last week,” he said. Dean smiled and placed a kiss on top of Cas’s head.

“What did you have in mind?” asked Dean,

“Well… you said that shower sex is complicated so I didn’t want to pick up literally where we left… but the part where we were making out… naked… I could give that another try,” said Cas with a smirk.

“Okay…” said Dean in a tone that sounded more like a question than an affirmation.

“ I’m ready Dean… being away from you made me realize how much I need you and that you complete me in ways I could’ve never imagined… I want to take the next step in our relationship because I want to show you that this relationship is important to me in every aspect; I want to do it because I trust you and I know you trust me and I know this level of reliance is only going to make this experience perfect in our own way,” said Cas.

Dean smiled and started rubbing circles with his thumb on Cas’s shoulder.

“Umm… I wanna do it too, though you already know that… I just don’t think right now would be a great idea, you’re practically falling asleep while we talk,” said Dean.

“I know, I don’t think right now would be the ideal moment either… but I want to talk about it, I was thinking… I’ve always found new things to be less stressful if I can plan them, I know that sex is something that can’t be planned but I just want to make sure that we’re in the same page with everything … I know it’s something we have to just let happen, something that flows with the moment but… there are some things we can still plan, for example we could set a date and a place,” said Cas.

“Okay, when do you want it to happen?” asked Dean.

“Tomorrow,” said Cas right away.

“You sure?” asked Dean.

“Yes, tomorrow night, I’ll probably sleep until noon anyway and I don’t know why but I always relate sex with the night,” he said.

“Do you want it to be here?” asked Dean.

“Yes, I don’t see why not, being in a familiar environment will definitely help,” answered Cas.

“Umm… what else?” asked Dean, planning their first time was weird.

“Condoms?” asked Cas. Dean slid his arm from under Cas’s back and turned around to open his drawer. He grabbed a box of condoms and a bottle of lube.

“Yeah and lube too,” ha said showing them to Cas.

“How long have that been in your drawer?” Asked Cas.

“I don’t know… after we got tested, I wasn’t sure if we were gonna do it right away but I knew we needed to be prepared,” said Dean.

“Okay,” said Cas.

“Is it okay? Are these fine? If you don’t want them we can buy another brand… I should have asked first,” said Dean. Cas sat up and placed a hand on Dean’s chest.

“Dean, relax, I know I can be ‘a pain in the ass’ with all my weird requests when it comes to buy anything, and I’m really thankful because you don’t care and you let me be myself… but when it comes to this I really have no idea what I like or prefer, so don’t worry, really,” said Cas. Dean smiled and planted a quick peck on Cas’s lips.

“You’re gonna get picky eventually and get your favorite brands and get upset if we don’t buy them, won't you?” asked Dean smiling.

“Probably,” said Cas smiling.

“You’re lucky I love you and that I don’t give a damn about those things,” said Dean.

“The perfect match,” said Cas.

“Okay… so, going back… umm, tomorrow night, we have condoms, lube,” said Dean.

“I have another question,” said Cas blushing. Dean could imagine what Cas was trying to ask, in fact, if he was honest with himself he had been trying to ask that too but he didn’t know how to,

“So… um, who’s… which… “ Cas,

“You should top,” said Dean, “I think it would be less overwhelming, you know? For your sensory issues… and besides, I’ve kinda always wanted our first time to be like that,” Cas smiled and raised an eyebrow,

“Always?”

“Dude, I’ve been in love with you since forever, and you’re hot as fuck… so yeah, I’ve fantasized a few times, sue me,” said Dean. Cas snorted and placed a kiss on Dean’s cheek.

“I love you,” said Cas.

“I love you too Cas, I’m fucking crazy about you,” said Dean.

“Thanks for loving me the way I am Dean, this conversation meant the world to me… it just helped me to be more convinced that I want to be with you in every single way,”

“Hey, I love you, I just want you to be happy,” said Dean.

“You’re hot and you turn me on,” whispered Cas; he rested his head on Dean’s shoulder and after a couple of minutes he was asleep.

* * *

 

Cas woke up and stretched like a cat; he yawned and rolled in bed to realize that Dean wasn’t there. He looked at the clock on the bedside table; it was 2:15 pm.

“Dean?” he asked; he stood up and walked towards the bathroom, Dean wasn’t there either; he wasn’t in the studio or in the kitchen either. Cas saw a blue post-it note attached to the kettle and grabbed it before turning the kettle on.

**Cas,**

**Gabe needed help with one of the trucks from the bakery,**  
**I’ll be back soon.**

 **Love,**  
**Dean.**

**P.S: Can’t wait for tonight.**

  
Cas didn’t know how to feel about the fact that Dean had left on their ‘special day,’ but if he was honest with himself, he was also a little relieved, what were they going to do while they waited for the night anyway? Sit on the couch and watch TV?

Cas opened the fridge and realized that they needed to buy groceries as soon as possible; the only things he found in the fridge (apart from his cauliflower) were half an onion, two strips of bacon and a couple of eggs; he decided to cook himself an omelet.

Once he was sitting at the table with his omelet and black tea in front of him he decided to text Dean,

**Good morning! I just woke up. How are things going with Gabe?**

He placed the phone on the table and proceeded to eat his breakfast. A few minutes later his phone started to ring, at first he thought it was Dean but he saw Charlie’s name on the screen,

“Hello Charlie,” he said,

“Hi Cas! I wanted to call you yesterday but I figured you would spend most of your day making out with Dean and sleeping,” she said,

“You just described yesterday activities, yes,” said Cas smiling.

“Hey, I know you’re tired and that you want to spend like a week locked in your apartment with your boyfriend but I just wanted to check on you,”

“Thanks Charlie,” said Cas after taking a sip of his tea, “but actually Dean’s out, he is helping Gabe with one of the trucks from the bakery… I just woke up,” informed Cas.

“Wanna hang out while you wait for Dean to come back?” asked the redhead,

“Actually, can you drive me to Walmart? We’re running out of food in this house, and I think I could use the distraction a little,” said Cas.

“Sure, why do you need to distract yourself by the way?” asked Charlie.

“I umm… I’m having sex with Dean tonight,” said Cas.

“I’ll be there in 15,” said Charlie before hanging up.

Cas finished his breakfast and after placing his dishes on the sink he walked to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. He put on a clean pair of black jeans and a dark gray shirt wit the logo of Fall Out Boy; he put on his black vans and decided to wear a beanie because his hair was a mess. He walked downstairs (Nik wasn’t too happy when he saw that Cas wasn’t taking him with). Just as Cas left his building he saw Charlie’s car approaching.

He climbed in the car and she hugged him with excitement,

“You can’t just drop a bomb like that on the phone Cas, I need details,” said Charlie.

“Well I just… wait, someone’s calling me,” said Cas. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and answered, this time it was Dean.

“Hello Dean,”

“Hi Cas, sorry I didn’t text you sooner, I was literally under your brother’s truck… the thing is a mess, sorry I left but he was really insistent,” said Dean.

“It’s okay, I’m on my way to Walmart with Charlie, we’re practically out of food,” said Cas.

“Great, I was thinking by the way, I want to make this night really special so maybe we could have a relaxing spa evening and I could cook a nice dinner for you, what do you think?” asked Dean.

“It sounds great,” said Cas smiling.

“Cool… I umm… take your time with Charlie, I’ll send you a list with the stuff we need for the evening… I still need to take your brother’s truck to the garage and then buy some things I’ll need to get ready for tonight,” said Dean.

“Okay, then I’ll have lunch with her,” said Cas, “see you in a while,”

“Say hi to Charlie. I love you babe,” said Dean.

“I love you too,” answered Castiel.

Cas hanged up and then turned his attention back to Charlie, who was still driving.

“Where were we?”

“You’re having sex with Dean tonight, apparently,” she said.

“Oh… yes, I am,” said Cas with a shy smile.

“You sure?” she asked,

“Yes, we talked about it yesterday, I want to do it so it is happening today,” he said.

“Nervous?”

“You have no idea,” he said, “but I’m ready… I really am, and I’m excited too,” admitted Cas.

“So what’s the plan?” asked Charlie.

“We’ll have a relaxing home-spa evening and then dinner and then I’ll lose my virginity,” said Cas.

“Okay,” said Charlie, “sounds like you have everything under control.”

* * *

“Are you sure you can’t fix it here?” asked Gabe for the fifth time,

“Yes dude, I’m sure… I don’t even know how this thing is able to transport you to be honest… this, right here, the fact that it is running right now is a fucking miracle,” said Dean rolling his eyes, “now, c’mon, you drive it to the garage, I’ll follow you in the impala,”

“Okay,” said Gabe in resignation.

“Why don’t you wanna take it to the garage anyway?” asked Dean,

“Bobby’s gonna make fun of me,” admitted Gabe. Dean snorted and shook his head,

“Bobby won’t be there, it’s a Saturday… but maybe you should consider taking a class or something, you know? I’m not saying you have to become an expert and be able to tell what’s wrong just by staring at your car but you know? Learn the basics when it comes to a car … I’m pretty sure Bobby would be thrilled if you asked him to teach you,” said Dean cleaning his hands on a rag.

“Yeah, you’re probably right… c’mon, lets go then… I don’t want to spend the rest of the Saturday in here talking about how I’m unable to change the oil of my car.”

They drove to the garage, Gabe’s truck managed to arrive safely (it only turned off twice on their way there); Dean talked to Garth and told him what was going on with the truck and then he drove Gabe back to his bakery.

“wanna grab something to eat?” asked Gabe,

“Can’t do, I have plans,” said Dean.

“Oh right, spending the whole day cuddling and making out with my brother,” said Gabe rolling his eyes.

“You’re lucky he was asleep when you called, I really wasn’t planning to leave that apartment, man,” said Dean.

“Thanks for helping me, I promise I’ll be more careful with my cars,” said Gabe.

“Please,” said Dean.

Dean parked outside Chuck’s.

“Thanks for the ride Dean-o,” said Gabe.

“You’re welcome man, say hi to your dad for me… I promise we’ll drop by next weekend okay?” Said Dean.

“Okay, see you,” Gabe closed the door behind him and waved goodbye to Dean.

* * *

When Cas arrived to the apartment with Charlie they could hear Dean cooking in the kitchen.

“We’re home!” said Cas. They waked into the kitchen carrying the plastic bags with the groceries.

“Oh, hi guys,” said Dean a little surprised of seeing Charlie.

“I’m not staying, don’t worry… just helping Cas with the bags and I’m here to pick up Nik,” said Charlie,

“Why?” asked Dean.

“Because I’m the coolest friend ever and I want you two to have a perfect evening and an unforgettable night without interruptions… and I know you love Nik, but tonight it’s all about you,” she said. Cas handed her a bag of food for Nik and his bowls.

“I’m not sure if this is the right thing to do,” said Cas.

“Shut up, you’ll thank me tomorrow when you pick him up, okay?” she said, “Nik! C’mon buddy, lets go to the dog park maybe you can help me meet cute girls,” The little dog walked into the kitchen when he heard his name. Charlie placed Nik’s stuff in a bag and then put him the leash.

“I’ll bring your presents to your apartment tomorrow then,” said Cas. Charlie smiled at him and nodded.

“Thanks Charlie,” said Dean.

“Anytime, just have a nice night and have fun,” she winked at them and walked out of the apartment.

“That was nice of her,” said Dean smiling, he turned around and returned to his cooking; Cas walked towards him and hugged him from the back; he placed a soft kiss on Dean’s neck,

“You smell nice,” said Cas,

“Took a bath,” answered Dean.

“We need a bigger bathtub,” said Cas. He let go of Dean and started sorting the groceries and putting everything in place.

“When we buy that house, we need it to have a fucking Jacuzzi, man,” said Dean.

“We still need to talk about that, are we really buying a house?” asked Cas.

“Well, that was my first thought when dad left me that money and now that you’re gonna have more money, I think we should do it,” said Dean. Cas noticed just then that Dean was cooking sushi.

“Yes, I think we should start looking,” said Cas with a smile, “I want a house with a pool,”

“I was sure you would say that,” said Dean. Cas closed the fridge and then took the empty plastic bags to the laundry room.

“So, you got everything for our spa?” asked Dean.

“Yes, even the avocado,” said Cas grabbing a bag from the table.

“Okay, the sushi is ready, why don’t we put on something more comfortable and I give you a nice massage,” said Dean.

“Sounds great,” answered Cas smiling.

Just as the first time they had a spa evening, Cas lay down on the bed while Dean gave him a massage, this time though, bot were only on their underwear. Cas enjoyed the massage a lot, he thought he would be more nervous but he wasn’t, everything was flowing and he was feeling more and more comfortable with each second that passed. They took turns on the massages and then they decided to move to the living room because they were so relaxed they were dozing off. Dean mixed the essences and the avocado Cas bought and after they were both wearing their avocado facemasks they sat on the floor of the living room and enjoyed the sushi Dean made.

“I could use a glass of wine,” said Cas after finishing his sushi.

“Yeah, not gonna happen…” said Dean smiling. He picked up their dishes and placed everything in the kitchen.

“Should we wash our faces now?” asked Cas.

“Yeah, wanna take a shower?” asked Dean. Cas smiled and nodded. Dean gave him a hand to help him stand up and then they headed to the bathroom.

* * *

They washed their faces and laughed like idiots with the mess they made. Dean helped Cas wash his hair. It was almost as the first time they’d share the shower but this time it felt more intimate, and Cas didn’t need to hold back or to hide what he felt or how his body did. Once they ran out of hot water they decided to move to their room. They walked to the bedroom wearing their bathrobes and drying their hair. It all felt so natural to Cas, this time he definitely was ready and he wasn’t scared.

* * *

Under the lights of their TARDIS lamp they kissed and caressed each other for a while, there was no time, there was no rush, the world didn’t exist in that moment… all that existed was them.

“You ready?” asked Dean,

“More than ever,” answered Cas with confidence; Dean nodded and then rolled them so now Cas was on top of him and Dean had his back against the mattress, “I love you,” he said and then Cas smiled and kissed him passionately.

Slowly Cas understood what people meant when they said that sex was something that flowed, he allowed himself to drown in the moment, he managed to stop overthinking and focus only on him and Dean. At some point he felt like Dean and him were the same person. It was weird and sometimes it seemed like it was too much, but then it wasn’t; it was everything he was expecting but at the same time it wasn’t what he had imagined at all.

Dean somehow managed to enjoy the moment, as much as Cas, and at the same time he kept making sure that Cas was okay. That nigh Cas found the real meaning of the word perfect.

* * *

The next morning Cas woke up being held by his boyfriend. He smiled and buried his face on Dean’s chest,

“Dean,” he said with a husky voice.

“Hmmm…” said Dean,

“I’m hungry,” said Cas. Dean chuckled and kissed the top of Cas’s head,

“Me too,” answered Dean.

“You should cook something,” said Cas without opening his eyes.

“You should cook something,” answered Dean. Nobody said anything after that for almost five minutes.

“You know? Last night was one of the best in my entire life,” whispered Cas,

“Really?” asked Dean smiling.

“Yes, I enjoyed it a lot,” said Cas placing a kiss on Dean’s neck,

“I know I’ve been with a lot of people, but last night… wow,” said Dean with a big smile.

“You know, technically I don’t have to go back to work until Tuesday, we could stay here today and tomorrow too,” said Cas.

“Hmm… and what could we possibly do with all that free time?” asked Dean.  
  
“I’m sure we’ll think of something,” said Cas. Dean laughed and lifted Cas’s chin to kiss him; Cas kissed him back eagerly and soon they were running out of breath; once they stopped kissing Cas added, “you know what would help me think faster?”

“What?” Asked Dean,

“A full stomach, I’m starving,” said Cas. Dean laughed and after placing a kiss on Cas’s cheek he stood up and grabbed a pair of clean pajama pants from his dresser,

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” said Dean walking to the door,

“Oh, you love me,” said Cas standing up too,

“Yes, I do,” said Dean smiling. Cas walked towards his dresser and grabbed a pair of pajama pants for himself,

“And we’re going to buy a house together,” said Cas while putting on his pants,

“With a pool and a Jacuzzi,” said Dean stopping at the door; Cas picked a couple of condom wrappers from the floor and threw them to the trash can,

“And I’m going to sell a lot of graphic novels,” said Cas walking towards Dean.

“And we’re gonna have a lot of sex,” said Dean.

“And we’re going to live happily ever after,” said Cas holding Dean’s hand.

“And we’re gonna live happily ever after,” repeated Dean looking at Cas as if he was the most precious thing he had ever seen in his entire life.

“But first… breakfast,” said Cas. Dean laughed and then placed a soft kiss to Cas’s lips.

“I love you so fucking much Cas,” whispered Dean.

“I love you too Dean Winchester, more than anything,” answered Cas.

They had been through a lot during their lives, they had shared a lot of adventures, secrets, happy moments, sad moments… they had shared hundreds of breakfasts together, but somehow that morning, while they ate pancakes and searched for houses online it all felt different; Cas didn’t know exactly how he would describe this stage of his life, but if he had to use only two words to define it, he would say **‘true happiness’.**

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading. I'm already writing the Epilogue hopefully it wont take long to upload it (i'll try my best).


	31. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue, 2 years after the previous chapter. Fluff, fluff & more fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back with the last chapter of this story. I just wanted to give you a little fluff. I want to thank you all for your support and for staying with me till the end of this, I know i wasn't as constant as you wished with the uploads but well, that's what happens when you grow up and have to become a responsible adult.
> 
> Thanks a lot again for your comments and your kudos. You've really motivated me to keep writing. 
> 
> Once again, remember that English isn't my first language so i apologize for any mistake.

* * *

 

Dean waited patiently until Cas and Chuck finished giving autographs. They had just landed in Sioux Falls and a group of girls had recognized them when they were picking up their luggage.

“Sorry,” said Cas walking towards Dean,

“It’s alright guys, comes with the job,” said Dean smiling, he was still feeling a little sleepy after the pills he had taken to endure their flight from New York.

They walked to the arrivals door and soon saw Gabe waving at them.

“Hi guys, how was the flight?” asked Gabe while helping Chuck with his bags.

“It was fine,” answered Chuck.

“What about you Dean-o? Did you manage to go through the whole flight without screaming like a little girl?” asked Gabe with a smirk.

“You can be so funny some times Gabriel,” said Dean rolling his eyes. They walked towards the parking lot where they found Chuck’s car. Gabe and Chuck sat on the front and Cas and Dean shared the backseat.

  
“Everyone’s waiting for you guys,” said Gabe smiling at them.

“Eyes on the road Gabriel,” said Chuck.

“I’m really happy to see everyone, it feels like we’ve been on tour for years,” said Cas.

“Michael’s here too?” asked Chuck.

“Yeah and wait till you see Tegan, man she’s huge,” said Gabe. Chuck smiled and stared at the road impatient to see everyone at the welcome party.

* * *

 

Gabe parked his car outside Cas and Dean’s house, next to Sam’s Prius.

“Wow, even Sam is here,” said Chuck.

“Well, Dean here was really insistent when he called a week ago planning this thing,” said Gabe. Dean and Cas took their luggage out of the trunk of the car and walked inside the house to leave their stuff in their room.

“Hurry up guys, no funny business, everyone’s waiting for you outside and to be honest we’re all starving,” said Gabe; he and Chuck walked through the huge crystal door that led to the back yard.

Dean left their bags on the bed while Cas looked at his hair on the mirror; for his new tour he had decided to change it to purple.

“It looks nice man, c’mon, I’m starving too.”

* * *

 

Dean and Cas had bought that house two months after they started looking for a new place to live. The house was a wreck and they had spent 5 months fixing it; they had also bought the lot next door and added a huge yard with a pool and enough place for Nik to play.

Cas had been a little reluctant at first when Dean had said ‘ _look Cas, they’re selling your old house… wouldn’t it be cool if we bought it?_ ’ But now Cas couldn’t imagine his life without that house, it was amazing and it was theirs. It even had a studio for him in the attic and a ‘man cave’ for Dean in the basement.

They had to admit though, that it was kind of weird to live so close to Bobby again, but it was cool.

* * *

 

Charlie, Sam, Jess and Gabe had decorated the backyard for the party. They had placed a huge table, long enough to sit all the guests comfortably. A week ago Dean had sent them an e-mail to organize a welcome party for Cas and Chuck since they had been out of town for almost 4 months. Dean had been traveling to see Cas every time he could and he actually decided to visit him in New York after he organized the party. Everyone was there; the guys from Kraken, Michael and Jill with their daughter Tegan; Sam and Jess, Bobby with his girlfriend Jody, Missouri, Garth and Bess with their daughter Susan; Charlie and Gabe. It was like a huge family reunion.

“There he is!” said Benny when he saw Cas,

“Hello Benny, it is nice seeing you,” said Cas with a huge smile. Cas and Dean split to go and say hi to everyone at the party.

Jill was sitting at one corner of the table preparing a bottle for Tegan,

“Hello Jill,” said Cas,

“Hi Cas, it’s great to see you, I think last time I saw you was on Tegan’s birthday party!” she handed the bottle to her daughter, who was sitting on her lap, and the little girl expertly grabbed her bottle and started drinking.

“She’s so big, I can’t believe it… how is she doing? Is she walking? Talking?” asked Cas a little worried,

“Yes Cas, she’s 17 months, she walks, she runs, she talks a little and she crawls upstairs and downstairs in a very funny way though your brother goes crazy every time that happens,” said Jill.

“Okay… I mean, I just… I just worry a lot, does she umm… It is very important for the diagnosis of…”

“Castiel, you need to relax, she doesn’t have Asperger’s stop worrying for the love of God, you’re acting just like Mike,” she said,

“Are you sure?” asked Cas,

“Honey, yes, I’m sure… your brother is always worrying about that, at this point I’m basically able to recognize every characteristic of autism, and believe me, Tegan is just a normal girl… say hi to uncle Cas baby,” said Jill talking to her girl. Tegan stopped drinking from her bottle and looked at Cas with her big hazel eyes,

“Hi Cash,” said the brunette girl smiling widely at Cas.

“Hello Tegan, Do you remember me?” said Cas smiling. The little girl nodded.

“I was just telling Mike yesterday that we should come to Sioux Falls more often now that you and Chuck are back, I want her to interact with you more, I don’t have a family so I think it is very important for her to see what a big family is like,”

“Hi Cas,” said Michael right in that moment. He handed a glass of juice to his girlfriend and then placed a kiss on his daughter’s cheek.

“Hello Michael, it’s nice to see you,” said Cas. He still didn’t have the best relationship with his brother but they were in better terms than a couple of years back.

“You too,” said Michael.

“Dada,” said Tegan stretching her arms so Michael could carry her.

“She loves you,” said Cas smiling.

“And I love her, being a dad is amazing Cas… you become a new person,” said Michael. Cas just nodded.

“You’ll see one day,” said Jill,

“See what?” asked Cas,

“Well, have you and Dean talked about kids?” she asked,

“Not really, but I don’t want to have kids,” said Cas, “I’m okay being an uncle,” he smiled and ruffled Tegan’s curly hair, she giggled. Dean saw them talking and walked towards them,

“Hi guys, having fun?” he asked standing next to Cas,

“Yes Dean, it’s great to see everyone, I feel like it’s Christmas,” said Jill,

“I know, it’s so cool that everyone showed up,” said Dean, “Jesus, Tegan you’re so big, I can’t believe you’re the same little baby I carried at the hospital a year and a half ago,” said Dean looking at the girl lovingly.

“Hi,” said the little girl and Dean laughed and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

“Dean, I think everyone is here,” said Cas trying to change the subject, “we should tell them now,”

“Oh, right,” said Dean turning around to see everyone at their backyard eating and having a great time.

“Tell us what?” asked Jill,

“Wait and you’ll see,” said Dean and then he grabbed a fork from the table and hit it against his bottle a couple of times,

“Guys, umm… guys,” he said. Everyone stopped what they were doing and paid attention to Dean. “I wanna thank you all for coming, I know I planned this kinda in the last minute but apparently you’re all having a great time so… yeah, umm, first of all I wanna say that I’m glad that the book tour finally ended, this place isn’t the same without Chuck and Cas… and second, which is the real reason why you’re here…”

“Wait, you said this was a welcome party,” said Gabe,

“Yeah, it is but I also want to make an announcement, shut up Gabe,” said Dean rolling his eyes,

“What is it?” Asked Charlie,

“Well, as you know last week I flew to New York to see Cas, and well, we talked a few days ago and we decided that we didn’t want to be boyfriends anymore…” said Dean staring at the ground.

“What?” asked Bobby and Jill at the same time.

“You threw a party to let us know that you and Cas aren’t dating anymore? Are you nuts?” asked Sam.

“For the love of God, would you guys shut up, I’m talking, okay?” said Dean, “listen, Cas and I made the decision… I just… dating wasn’t enough anymore, you know? We’d been in love for more than 10 years, calling Cas just my boyfriend was ridiculous at that point, to be honest… he’ll always be my best friend and the love of my life but times change and people change so umm... we decided to stop being boyfriends… and become husbands,” Dean was smirking at this point and Cas, next to him, was spotting a huge smile too.

“Oh my God! Did you propose? OH MY GOD!!” Charlie was jumping and screaming and suddenly everyone was laughing and asking about when would they get married and where and the honeymoon and all that stuff. Cas covered his ears and started rocking on his feet,

“Would you guys shut up!” said Dean out loud, “You’re making my husband feel uncomfortable,”

“Your what?” asked Sam.

“We got married two days ago,” said Dean. He grabbed a golden ring from his pocket and put it on his left hand; Cas did the same.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” said Charlie,

“We didn’t tell anyone, not even dad… we told him we were going to a rock concert in New Jersey,” said Cas.

“That’s true,” said Chuck, “I only found out today because the idiots bought the plane tickets for Dean and Castiel Winchester,”

“Man… I’m your only brother and you didn’t say a word… that sucks,” said Sam.

“Sorry man, that’s how we wanted it to happen, we had been planning it for months after Cas proposed, we were just waiting for the tour to end… and three days ago we were having lunch and we just kinda decided that it was time…” said Dean.

“What? Cas proposed? What else happened? Are you pregnant? Are you going to move to London? Are you even called Dean?” asked Charlie surprised with all the new information.

“Jesus you guys really know how to keep a secret,” said Benny.

“You didn’t get to be with us that day but we still wanted to celebrate with you, and this was the perfect occasion,” said Cas.

“I’m really happy for you guys,” said Jill.

 

* * *

 

“I’m still a little upset because you didn’t invite me to the ceremony,” said Charlie standing in front of Dean and Cas an hour after their big announcement. She was carrying Tegan in her arms.

“It wasn’t a big deal, really… we just signed a paper and kissed, that was it,” said Cas. Charlie rolled her eyes.

“You still need to tell me how the hell did you propose,” said Charlie.

“I…”

“Hey redhead, it’s my turn to hold my goddaughter,” said Gabe interrupting the talk.

“Dude, she’s my goddaughter too, and I’ve only had her for like fifteen minutes,” she said while hugging Tegan.

“Poor kid, she’s got the two most annoying godparents in the world,” said Dean laughing and ruffling Tegan’s hair.

“You’re just jealous,” said Charlie sticking her tongue. Dean rolled his eyes, he actually was jealous but at least Jill had promised he and Cas would be godparents of their next child.

“Don’t change the subject, it’s my turn to hold Tegan,” said Gabe.

“Okay, fine… but I’ll go looking for her in fifteen minutes dude… and don’t give her sugar or Mike will kill you,” said Charlie; she placed Tegan on the floor and the little girl walked happily towards Gabriel.

“C’mon cup of tea, lets go play with the doggie,” said Gabe holding her hand; they walked towards Nik who was playing with a ball.

“So, you were saying… the proposal,” said Charlie with a smirk.

“You should grab a box of Kleenex,” said Dean,

“That cheesy?” asked Charlie,

“You have no idea,” Answered Dean.

 

_“Bobby, I’m on a predicament,” said Cas. He was having dinner with Bobby since Dean had gone to grab a couple of beers with Sam who was in town. They had invited Cas but he had insisted that they needed to spend some time just the two of them._

_“What is it kid?” asked Bobby, he handed a beer to Cas._

_“I want to ask Dean to marry me,” said Cas._

_“About damn time,” said Bobby smiling, “so what’s the problem?”_

_“I’ve been looking for a while but I haven’t found the right ring,” said Cas with a shrug._

_“Son, I’m about to solve all your problems, come with me,” said Bobby._

* * *

 

_Cas sat on Bobby’s bed and waited for Bobby who was looking for something in his closet._

_“When John left the kids with me, he didn’t have a lot of money, but he left this,” Bobby grabbed a wooden box and handed it to Cas, “He told me I could sell this in case of an emergency, like if the kids needed to go to the hospital or something… I guess that’s when I realized that he wasn’t coming back soon,” Cas opened the box and saw three rings; two of them were identical, simple golden bands with a small green gem on the center. The other one was silver with a big diamond._

_“The silver one,” said Bobby, “John used it to propose to Mary, it belonged to John’s grandmother, one of the few things his dad left to him… the golden ones, were John and Mary’s wedding rings… these are some of the few things John could rescue from the ashes after the fire.”_

_“Oh my God, Bobby…” Cas couldn’t believe what he was holding._

_“I haven’t told Dean or Sam about these… first I thought I would sell them when they needed to go to college, but I didn’t have the heart, I couldn’t… so instead I decided I would give these to them when they decided to get married… I guess Dean wouldn’t appreciate spotting a big rock on his finger,” said Bobby pointing at the silver ring, “so I was thinking maybe I could give that to Sam when he decides to propose to Jess,” He smiled, “but the other two, I think they’re perfect for you and Dean,” He grabbed the rings and placed them on Cas’s hand._

_“Thanks so much Bobby, you’re right, these are perfect,” said Cas smiling._

* * *

_Getting the rings had been an easy task compared to finding the right way to propose to Dean. Cas was on tour and he hadn’t seen Dean in almost a month. One night the answer finally came to him, it was such an obvious idea he couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought about it earlier… he was going to make an illustrated book to propose._

_Cas spent almost two weeks drawing and writing the story: it was literally the story of their lives from the moment they met to the moment Dean would read the book. He printed it and then waited. Dean informed him a week later that he would be taking a week off and driving to Arizona to visit Cas._

* * *

 

_“I missed you so fucking much man,” said Dean. They were sitting at the living room of the suite Cas was sharing with his dad in a fancy hotel in Phoenix._

_“I missed you too Dean, thanks for coming… and for bringing Nik,” said Cas petting his dog who was sitting on his legs._

_“I’m really happy for you and your success babe, I promise, but sometimes I hate the tours, I can’t believe this is the first time we see each other in almost two months,” said Dean._

_“I wish I could change that,” said Cas, “but at least now you’re here and dad was kind enough to pretend that he was going to the movies so we could be alone,” Dean smiled and kissed Cas’s neck,_

_“So what can we do with our alone time?” asked Dean._

_“Actually, I made you something… a present, something you can always look at when we’re not together so you can see how much I love you,” said Cas; he placed Nik on the floor and then stood up and walked to his room, he returned a minute later carrying a book._

_“You made me a book?” asked Dean,_

_“Yes, it’s our story,” said Cas smiling._

_“Jesus… babe, this is… wow… can I, can I read it now?” asked Dean,_

_“Yes, please do,” answered Cas._

_Dean stared at the illustrations of a little blond boy and a boy with messy black hair and how they grew up a little more with every page that passed. It was amazing, it took him 20 minutes to get to the last page where he read:_

_“…And then, Dean read the last page of the book where he found something unexpected.” Dean turned the page but there was nothing else written on the next page._

_“Cas, I think there’s a page missing, what am I supposed to…” He lifted his head from the book and saw Cas kneeling in front of him and holding a small blue box on his hands._

_“Cas,” whispered Dean,_

_“Dean,” said Cas opening the box, “like that book said, I’ve been in love with you for a very long time, you are the love of my life, my best friend and my favorite person in the world and I want to spend the rest of my life with you… will you marry me?” asked Cas._

_"Yes," answered Dean smiling like an idiot; he_ _was trying really hard not to cry. He grabbed the little box and saw that there were two rings inside,_

_“Two rings?” he asked,_

_“I got these from Bobby, I told him I wanted to propose and he gave them to me, I sent them to get cleaned and fixed because they were too old and a little small for us… I umm… these rings used to belong to John and Mary Winchester,” said Cas. Dean shed a few tears._

_“I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m sorry,” said Cas._

_“Dude, no… I … you and your perfect presents man, how do you do it?” asked Dean smiling._

_Cas told him what Bobby had said to him and Dean felt like he was holding a treasure in his hands._

 

* * *

 

“And then we had a lot of sex,” said Dean finishing the story.

“Dean,” said Cas pushing him playfully. Charlie just rolled her eyes; Cas could tell she was trying to hold back her tears after the story.

“And when did that happen? How the hell did you manage to keep that a secret? Jesus,” she asked.

“April,” said Cas, “and it wasn’t easy but I knew if we said anything about the engagement everyone would start suggesting ideas for a big wedding and that was never the plan, I’m sorry we didn’t tell you Charlie,” said Cas.

“Hey, I get it man, really… you’re my best friend and as long as you’re happy, I’m happy,” she hugged Cas and then Dean.

Michael, Sam and Gabe walked towards them then,

“So, you’re a Winchester now,” said Sam smiling.

“Yes,” said Cas smiling, “but I’ll keep using Castiel Novak as my artistic name,”

“Nice,” said Gabe.

“So umm… just make sure you take care of my brother and make him happy… and the same goes to you Dean, Cas is like a brother to me,” said Sam.

“I’m really happy for you guys, I still can’t believe you skipped the chance of giving a huge party with a delicious wedding cake but whatever,” said Gabe, he was holding Tegan in his arms. Michael rolled his eyes,

“Congratulations guys, I’m happy for you,” said Michael. Cas smiled and somehow he knew his brother meant his words.

“Thanks for being so supportive guys,” said Dean, “and for not making it a big deal with the fact that we didn’t tell anybody about the wedding,”

“Dude, you’ve always been a married couple, since you were like 12… you just made it official,” said Gabe smiling.

* * *

 

Dean and Cas were grabbing drinks from the cooler when Bobby and Chuck approached.

“Congratulations kids,” said Bobby; he hugged Dean and then Cas.

“Thanks Bobby,” said Dean smiling.

“I’m glad you finally got married guys, really… I know I’ve told you this a thousand times Dean, but you’re my kid and all I want for you is to be happy… and Cas, you know you’re like another son to me, I can’t imagine how weird our lives would be without the little kid with the big blue eyes, living next door,”

“Thanks Bobby… for everything; for helping me with the rings, for being like another father to me… for teaching me how to cook all those years ago,” answered Cas smiling.

“Hey, listen… Bobby and I talked and we want to give you guys something, you’re our kids and this is the first time we see any of our kids getting married so we’re really exited… anyway, we want to pay for your honey moon,” said Chuck,

“Oh my God… dad, we really appreciate it but you don’t have to do it…” said Cas,

“Don’t argue with us son, you need a rest after that tour,” said Bobby pointing at Cas, “and you need to spend some quality time with your husband, so just shut up, smile and accept our present, okay?”

“Okay,” said Dean and Cas at the same time.

“Fine,” said Bobby,

“Just let us know where do you want to go and we’ll take care of it,” added Chuck. Cas and Dean smiled and nodded. Chuck and Bobby hugged them again and then they left the couple alone.

“I can’t believe how much our lives have changed in the last couple of years,” said Cas. Dean placed an arm around Cas’s waist and pulled Cas towards him, then he placed a kiss on his head.

“I know,” said Dean,

“Are you happy?” asked Cas.

“Are you kidding me? I’m married to the love of my life; my friends and family are happy, I have a job I love, you have a job you love, we have a big house, we’re healthy… this is the perfect life Cas, we had to go through a lot of shit to get here but it was all worth it, I’m the happiest man in the world,” said Dean.

Cas smiled and placed a soft kiss to Dean’s lips.

“I love you,” said Cas.

“Get a room, you two!” yelled Gabe from the other side of the backyard.

* * *

 

Dean and Cas waved goodbye as Charlie drove away, she was the last one to leave the party.

“I’m so tired,” said Dean yawning.

“I could sleep for the rest of the weekend, to be honest,” said Cas. They walked towards the house and while Dean set the alarm, Cas put water in Nik’s bowl.

“Okay, alarm’s on,” informed Dean. Nik walked into the kitchen in that moment, he drank some water and then ran upstairs. Cas turned off the lights and then walked upstairs holding Dean’s hand.

Nik was already on his little bed in the TV room when Cas and Dean reached the second floor.

They took showers and got ready for bed. Cas placed the suitcases on the floor and promised himself that he would unpack next day after breakfast; he was too tired to care right now.

“I know we said we would make love tonight… but, can we leave it for tomorrow? I’m really tired,” said Cas placing his glasses on his bedside table.

“Babe, I’m falling asleep while we talk, don’t worry,” said Dean. He turned off his lamp and then turned around to cuddle with his husband.

“Good night Mr. Winchester,” said Cas smiling.

“Good night Mr, Winchester,” answered Dean and then he placed a soft kiss to Cas’s lips.

Cas fell asleep a few minutes later listening to the soft snores of his husband and feeling completely happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!
> 
> I already have planed the next part of this story, which tentatively will be called '1+1=6', and will take place almost three years after the epilogue. I don't want to reveal too much yet but the fic will involve kids. 
> 
> If you have any suggestions for the next story just let me know :) 
> 
> I'm currently writing the next part of the story actually, but i don't want to upload until i'm halfway through the story, that way I can make sure that I have always new chapters to upload. I don't know when i'll start posting but i'm sure it will be kinda soon. I also want to take some time to re-read this story and fix grammar mistakes as well as making illustrations to go with this fic and maybe dedicate some time to my tumblr so we can interact trough there and i can keep you posted about updates and all that stuff. Like i said, just let me know if you have any ideas.
> 
> I love you all for reading this, thanks a lot and see you soon.
> 
> (When the next story is ready i'll post a note in a new chapter here to let you know, so make sure you bookmark or subscribe to the story)


	32. Sequel...

Hi, in case you're subscribed to this fic, first of all thank you very very much; second: I finally posted the sequel for this story, it's called "1+1 = 6 (and yes, i'm counting the dog)" and now it's part (with this fic) of a new series called "We'll figure it out as we go."

I hope you like it. :)


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